Chaotic Hangouts

Chapter 34: Trapped In US Election Discourse

Date: October 29th, 2024

So.. We had sort of a very bizarre day again.. It all began with myself and others returning from yet another exhausting and painful intense battle to save a universe from being conquered by the fascist and genocidal Nacirema Empire, led by the tyrannical Katherine Glassgate who briefly became a God until we stripped her of that divine status in the very same battle she obtained it. Aizen has been lost in his own little world now that he's back in confinement in the Soul Society and Katherine and her entourage of twisted villains have recovered from the humiliating defeat we handed to them through among other things, a plan called Operation Amusement Park which is even more absurd than it sounds. We have to fight them again and again and it sucks, I want it over with. But Operation Amusement Park shocked our foes long enough for us to force them to run with their tails in between their legs. Many of us wish we could have just ended everything with that and taken the villains all down for good. But they got away and we couldn't find them afterwards despite even the attempts of some of the assassins in our collective to track them down and eliminate them. It's been about 2 weeks since all of that went down and well, I just helped save the world of Yugioh Abridged from being taken over again. This isn't the first time that world has been under attack in our conflicts with villains. Not at all. So guess what happened when we finally got back? Well, we were all completely exhausted. And we looked like giant messes as is often the case after making it out of a intense battle, even one where a not so small portion of our comrades did ridiculous things like yelling: "CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!" I didn't say anything, my throat hurt too much from the exhaustion to speak.

Myself and the others living in Miitopia who just got back from the battle all just collectively bring out bottles of water and drink from them before fixing ourselves up with potions and magic. That's when Carlos says to me: "Hey Swift! I want fruit from Jungle Jim's!" "I know what you're trying to do. After what happened over there in part because of you, I dont want to go back there in this body!" "Pretty please get me some fruit!" "*conjures oranges with Artist's Eye* Here's some fruit!" Carlos slaps the oranges I created out of my hands: "I WANT FRESH FRUIT FROM JUNGLE JIM'S!" His sister, Madeline stared very intensely at him as an aura manifests around her. "Carlos.." Carlos comedically whimpers like a puppy and stops talking. Madeline pats his head: "Good ninja.." A lot of us sweatdrop at that reaction. But then, things got stranger as Karma from Assassination Classroom suddenly teleports in and shouts with a grin on his face: "Hey, anyone wanna assassinate Korosensei just for fun?!" Carlos, Yappa Yappa(who has now officially started staying here 24/7), and a few others excitedly express interest. But Karma just points and speaks to me: "What about you, *silly voice* oh brave knight?!" "No. Assassination is a serious act. I simply refuse to enjoy killing or even attempting to kill someone. Carlos, why are you excited?! I thought our resident newly ascended ex-villain to Demon Lord would be the only one who'd get excited for the record!" "That's too bad. After all, we plan on taking Korosensei to Jungle Jim's except we rigged the entire store to be full of anti-sensei things." "That's not going to sway me. Why are you even wanting to assassinate him for fun anyway?"

"Because his regeneration abilities are on a whole other level compared to where they were back to E Class! And besides, it's about time we got him back for the 'Assassination Waterpark' thing he tricked us all with! But only because it'd be funny to! Revenge has become a really boring concept to me after all!" "I see. Still not interested." And yet somehow, I would end up having no choice but to go because of you probably guessed it.. election discourse. I'm not sure how it happened. It's all a blur to me because of the sheer chaos and confusion that suddenly occurred due to election discourse of all things. I can't even tell you how it started or how it ended. So let's skip forward to something I actually don't just vaguely recall. And that would be going to the parking lot of Jungle Jim's after using magic to conceal my knightly identity under a disguise again. All of us put on N95 masks just in case and all that jazz before coming to the parking lot. Korosensei's disguise looks absurd. He just put makeup on his face with great realistic detail to pass as a normal human being with an oversized head. But before anyone moved, a familiar white pelican appears through a magic portal in a postal uniform, carrying mail. He greets myself, Carlos, and several others who used to live for a time in the town of Fun Land where we fought the Supreme Dark Lord for the first time almost 6 years ago: "It's been some time since I really last saw any of you! I can't stay long. I'm here to give everyone here letters that were mailed to Fun Land Post Office recently. I'm running late! Gotta deliver all of these letters! Why am I always running late?!" It's the one and only Pete. Korosensei chuckles: "I know of you, you're known as Pete, right? Pete, sometimes you can never be on time. Embrace what's happening.

As long as you deliver them all today, you will be okay!" The pelican takes that to heart as he gives all of us the letters before saying once he was finished: "I'm so glad all of you are here together! That makes this a lot easier! I must go now! Thanks for choosing the Fun Land Post Office for some of your mailing needs!" And with that, he went back through the magical portal. Yappa Yappa chuckles: "This should be fun! I wonder why we all got letters at the same time! Suspicious!" I reply: "Yappa Yappa, when did you become chaotic in this kind of way? You know what, nevermind. It doesn't matter. Let's go inside. I don't want to lead everyone into the store. I may know my way around it better than anyone else but I really don't want to play tour guide." Korosensei laughs: "That's okay! Because I have seriously fast speed!" He vanishes and reappears so fast I barely notice him leave. With an amused expression on his face literally, he says: "Hehehehe. I know where everything is now! Come on everyone, follow your Korosensei and let's have some fun!" He leads everyone towards the store and as we walk below monorail tracks from the defunct Lion Country Safari at Kings Island that was removed the decade before I was born and get closer to the front entrance, we get some looks. Yappa Yappa isn't even disguising the fact that he's an alien with colorful skin and hair. At least he's hiding his new Demon Lord armor as well as his more menacing aura than ever before. But then, Pinkie Pie who I somehow missed was with us shouts: "Hey, shouldn't we open our letters first?!" Korosensei's face does the correct answer appearance despite being covered in well done makeup. So that's what we do. We open up our letters. I read the letter I got in my head.

It's an invite to the Purple Realm to engage in election discourse to quote on quote "bridge political divides by letting people yell at you for your opinions on the 2024 US Election". Who would say yes to something like this when it's written in such obviously absurd language? But at the same time, the letter's wording feels like a satirical take on how hostile and absurd the US election discourse has been, even clearly so to me while using Bluesky in my original body. From a neutral standpoint, the take implies the invite is to go to either a comical conversation of some kind or something even more ridiculous. No matter what it is, I react verbally to it: "My first instinct is to decline the invitation and rip it into little pieces. But I know I'm just- no, not just me. All of us are just going to get dragged to the Purple Realm because election discourse is hard to avoid and/or escape right now. We better enjoy this trip to Jungle Jim's as long as we can before something beyond our control drags us to the Purple Realm. But at the same time, I hate conceding like that so much. Screw that, we should fight it off the very moment it comes for us! I'm tired of getting dragged into chaotic hangouts over and over again without having any say! Oh look at me, making fun of the very concept these hangouts represent when I write these kinds of experiences as story chapters to post to my world! Look at me! I'm so self aware! And look at us, the rancid election discourse demands our constant attention! We'll see it! We'll all see it!" The others get the same exact letter I did. Korosensei laughs: "Looks like someone is playing a joke on all of us! Isn't that right?! Well, let's go inside already! I just can't wait!"

We walk inside through automatic doors but when Korosensei steps inside, he accidentally bumps a shopping cart that's sitting there before the next set of automatic doors. As a result.. "AAAAAAAAAAAA! WHY IS MY SKIN MELTING?!" He melts to death only to regenerate back and shrug it off: "Anyway, let's head inside now! For real this time!" We get some carts only for Korosensei to point and laugh at the strange corn person statue: "Doesn't this guy unsettle anyone else or is it just me?! Hey, I want a picture with this fellow!" Irina pulls out a disposable camera and says: "Say cheese, Korosensei!" "Cheeesseeee- *flash* AAAAAAAAA!" The camera flash hurts him. But it doesn't kill him. Yappa Yappa pulls out his pitchfork. I yell: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! DO YOU WANT THE ENTIRE STORE'S ATTENTION ON ALL OF US?!" Aqua laughs: "Hahahaha! See Kazuma! I told you even a knight as serious as Swiftdrawer can panic like you do sometimes! Now GIVE ME 200,000 ERIS OR I'LL CRY!" Yappa Yappa replies to my yelling with a grin: "That only makes this more fun! Die, Korosensei! I'm going to make this terrifyingly quick! You'll hardly have any time to scream!" Pitohui laughs as she pulls out her gun and photon sword: "That's right! Time to die, Korosensei!" The octopus screams: "AAAAAAAAAA! WAS I ONLY INVITED HERE TO BE CONTINUOUSLY ASSASSINATED?! *calms down to chuckle* Hehehe. Very well! Try to kill me off permanently! Go ahead! Let's see what you can do in this Assassination Shopping Trip!" Almost everyone tries to assassinate him, causing shelves around us to be thrown into disarray while onlookers watch on in shock and horror. The music remains calm and I hear the voice of the talking giant swinging Campbell Soup can.

Only for the music to suddenly be replaced by screaming and screeching. "HOW DARE YOU VOTE AGAINST TRUMP!" "HOW DARE YOU VOTE FOR HARRIS! VOTE THIRD PARTY TO SAVE THIS COUNTRY!" "HOW DARE YOU REFUSE TO VOTE FOR HARRIS, YOURE QUEER SO VOTE FOR HER, LEFTISTS!" "WHERE IS YOUR MORAL PURITY?!" That sort of stuff was repeated for minutes until Dominic actually got annoyed and remotely hacked the sound systems with magic. And things went back to normal right as Korosensei suddenly spotted the Big Cheese nearby and ran for it: "CHEESE! PRECIOUS CHEEEESEEEEEEEEE! I MUST ADMIRE YOUR BEAUTY UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL!" I stared at some of my comrades who almost crashed into each other due to Korosensei speeding off while they were trying to get him at the same time: "Please don't mess with the cheese.." But then, the smell of rotten cheese became overwhelming. I coughed from how powerful the stench was and I wasn't the only one. We look over at the Big Cheese display and all of the cheese is visibly rotting to the point the glass around all that cheese isn't even able to contain the stench. And Korosensei is completely white and on the ground, unresponsive. At this point, I just ignore the onlookers and security until one of the security guards yells: "We need like a full armed police backup or something!" But then, the Yugioh Abridged cast got in their way. THG knocks out 2 guards: "Attention duelists, my hair wants you to be unconscious for a while!" "Nyeh! BROOKLYN RAGE! *knocks out 3*" I sigh: "Why are you going after the security guards? The only nuisances local to this area would be the police force in general." They don't listen.

"Hey guards! May I interest you in a friendship speech?!" "Tea, nobody wants to hear your useless friendship speeches!" "Shut up, Tristan!" "Okay! I'll shut up! Now shutting up! Because I am shutting up!" "No you're not!" "YES, I AM SHUTTING UP!" "My friends need more friendship speeches.. Again, shut up, Tristan." "Screw the rules, I have balled up fists! You bunch of nerds don't stand a chance against me and my money!" One of the security guards points at Kaiba with something invisible: "Taste my gun! Bang bang!" "Your invisible gun doesn't scare me! Can this store not even afford visible guns? How absurd. Come on Mokuba, we're going somewhere else that can afford to equip its guards with visible guns because guards with visible guns are actually a challenge. Well, unless you're me. Screw the rules! I'm awesome and I have Blue Eyes White Dragon so any arguments to the contras are invalid!" Yugi just stands there in place: "Am I supposed to do something? I am the main character after all." Abridged Yami replies: "You do realize there's like 8 main characters in this scene, right? You, me, Swiftdrawer, Korosensei, and whoever else. Our mighty main character powers automatically cancel each other out especially in scenes like this one." "Oh, that's right! I can't believe I completely forgot, Pharaoh!" I sweatdrop: "I hate being treated like a main character. I already had my time living with a main character style hero status. I have no desire to go back to that." Korosensei recovers and yells as the makeup on his face fully comes off and his skin turns black: "STOP IT, ALL OF YOU! JUST STOP IT!" Silence. A pin drops. And then, out of nowhere, we hear people arguing rancid election takes against other rancid election takes in the background somewhere because election discourse totally belongs as background noise for when sleeping or something like that.

The octopus yells again: "AND WHOEVER IS ARGUING RIDICULOUS VIEWS ON THAT SPECIFIC ELECTION AGAINST OTHER RIDICULOUS VIEWS, STOP IT, ITS GIVING ME A HEADACHE!" Korosensei's head suddenly visibly throbs, showing evidence for his headache problem. This kind of ridiculous nonsense just kept happening. We went to the candy section where I sighed at seeing the animatronic singing songs supposedly originally sung by Elvis but were actually sung by others before him. White people just wanted a white man to be the King of Rock N Roll because they couldn't accept the precursor musicians to rock music getting the glory aka black musicians such as BB King. Korosensei in the meanwhile was all over the candy. But you know who was trying to resist the candy this time? Carlos. "MUST RESIST, I LIKE FRUIT NOW!" "AAAAAAA! SO MANY CHOICES! I WANT THEM ALL! THIS ISNT FAIR! I-" A Jungle Jim's employee comes out with some other employees with a table for sampling candies in the candy section. One of them yells: "FREE CANDY SAMPLES!" Not even a second later, the octopus has emptied the table of all of the candies: "SO DELICIOUS! I LOVE THE TASTE OF THESE SO MUCH, THIS IS INCREDIBLE!" At first, he was okay, just really excited. But then, the candy killed him several times over. By the time we got to the last section to check out: the produce section, Korosensei had suffered a lot more. Near the main cash register area, there was a local company giving out samples of their make ice cream with anything kit using unique flavors. I was in awe: "No way! You're all still around after all of these years?! I'm surprised you're here selling at this stall in here again!" Korosensei couldn't resist trying a sample and literally died for it.

Context, back in 2015 or 2017, I had a Coca-Cola themed birthday party thanks to my mom. And part of that was using that ice cream kit to make ice cream using cherry coke. To this day, it's the most unique ice cream flavor I've ever had, nothing has ever tasted like it before or since. As for other ways he died, they included touching jars of tomato sauce from Italy, picking up packs of Japanese ramen, sampling a new pop flavor from South America, and more. You'd be surprised at how many things killed him. Even my commenting like I have before over the closure of the little theater detailing Jungle Jim's history in the international foods & drinks section caused Korosensei to die of disappointment. On the way to the produce section, I commented: "Korosensei, please stop dying as often as the weak video game loving vampire from Vampire Dies In No Time. I can't believe I'm saying this but watching you die in hilarious ways so many times is starting to get old." "It's funny you say that because I don't think most of the others want it to stop!" He was right. How do I know that? As soon as we walk into the produce section, Korosensei screams: "BANANANANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!" He runs over to them only to be stopped by most of the others through them jumping him to assassinate him. Somehow, he died to touching and seeing and grabbing produce several times. Then, I was also witness to the full extent of how ridiculously popular bananas are. Despite all of the chaos most of us were causing, people were still grabbing banana bunch after banana bunch. I don't like how bananas taste by themselves. And Korosensei cried over the bananas running out before he could get any with so many of us trying to assassinate him. Only to cheer up instantly when an employee wheeled out some boxes of bananas. "BANANAS! MY SWEET PRECIOUS BANANAS! THERES MORE OF THEM!"

The employee stopped wheeling the bananas and opened up the top box of bananas: "I see you're excited about these bananas! Help yourself! Take as many as you'd like!" "CAN I HAVE THIS ENTIRE BOX OF BANANAS?!" "Sure! As long as you pay for them, of course!" "NO PROBLEM!" Korosensei is handed the entire top box of bananas and he looks inside to look for any that didn't look right. Only for us to be bombarded by bananas that look like distorted versions of social media profile pictures screaming election discourse again instead which were the only kind in the box. "AAAAAAA, ELECTION DISCOURSE BANANAS?! NO THANKS!" He drops the box and runs away from the produce section. Nagisa stares with great intensity in the direction he ran off while pulling out a military knife: "Let's get him." Irina nods and laughs: "Here we come, Korosensei!" And just like that, myself and the others who abstained from attacking the octopus had no choice but to follow them as they chased after him, much to the confusion of the employee whose current mission is to stock bananas and several kinds of them at that. 2 hours later we had come out of Jungle Jim's with nothing being actually bought and had another chaotic round of buffet madness at CiCi's Pizza. It went the same exact way as it did just 2 days after I became a knight 2 years ago but with more participants, more chaos, and more "booms" being heard from the toilet. And now, Karma is saying: "Okay, our bodies are all settled down after all of that pizza now. Right, Korosensei?" Irina stares at the unresponsive Korosensei whose skin has turned sickly green: "He's as good as dead considering the state he is in right now."

Unexpectedly, the former teacher stands up and runs off to the toilet screaming: "I NEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD TO POOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP! THIS HURTS SOOOOOO MUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH!" And the roof of the CiCi's literally went right off as soon as he started doing his business. A lot of us including me turned white from the sheer absurdity. And just like that, the CiCi's has sustained serious damage once again. But at least this time, I wasn't one of the ones to make a toilet sound like it had a bomb explode in it. That's a relief. Myself and the others poke fun at the seriousness of my knightly identity enough as it is. Korosensei repairs the CiCi's and rejoins us with a really odd and pained expression visible all over his body and his skin has turned into a strange rare color. Karma looks bemused: "Is it me or have you somehow deflated, Korosensei?" "...No comment." Irina speaks: "You really need to sit down and rest somewhere, Korosensei. But wait, what about that surprise we had planned?" Korosensei recovers out of sheer excitement: "THE SURPRISE! I don't care if that surprise will end up killing me again! Take me to it right away!" And so, we end up at a shoe store in an outlet mall some distance away in some direction. Korosensei is told to stand outside while we go inside and finish the surprise for him after explaining that we had rented the store out for a party which sounded really suspicious to the octopus because who rents out a shoe store for a party? But anyway, I walk inside and am given special sunglasses fused with 3D glasses that even can be worn with a knight's helmet like my own I'm wearing. I'm given them by Dr. Bonesbane who has been here in advance to help set everything up.

"Swift, it's been a while." "Yes it has, I'm glad to see you're doing okay. Anyway, don't explain why I need to wear these. I know exactly why already because who doesn't know about these glasses and why they were invented recently to begin with?" "I see. Well I'm neutronically pleased to hear that! Now then, I must keep handing these things out! Don't forget to toggle the invisible mode on your pair so Korosensei doesn't get suspicious." "I won't. Thanks for the reminder." The glasses are able to slip between my skin and the metal of my magically disguised helmet after some effort. They're secured and in place in no time and won't easily shatter. It's weird to see things in grayscale but there's no other choice for what's going to happen very soon. At least for now, I can toggle the grayscale vision of the glasses off until shortly after Korosensei is urged to get in here already and is lead inside. That's what I do. For the time being, I have to pretend I'm browsing shoes. I look around in one of the aisles: "These shoes look pretty nice but they aren't my metal boots. Nothing can really beat my boots for me. It's a good thing my boots have a crap ton of leather inside of them. Otherwise, my feet would be constantly killing me." I keep to myself for now because I'm still an introvert deep down. If I were an extrovert, things would be very different. And then, Korosensei starts walking into the store. What told me that was the sudden silence. Not even a pin drop was heard this time. It was just complete silence. I made my way towards the open front area of the store where Korosensei was being guided inside with a blindfold and I watch as it is removed and the Mad Hatter along with the famous white rabbit appear suddenly with a table and everything.

The Mad Hatter pats a seat and gestures to Korosensei: "Is it your birthday today? Sit here!" "What?! No! Today's not my birthday! What's all of this about?!" "Excellent! It isn't my birthday either! So... you know what that means?! HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY! Come on! Let's sing about this very unremarkable day that's not your birthday! Happy Unbirthday to you! Happy Unbirthday to me!" He sings his famous Unbirthday song with glee and passion and then, the various chefs in BRAINS such as Shion, Lauren, and others come out of the back of the store with a giant bizarre unbirthday cake they worked together to create. Korosensei screams: "WHY IS SHION CLEARLY INVOLVED IN WHATEVER THIS CAKE IS SUPPOSED TO BE?! HER COOKING TASTES LIKE-" Shion glares at the octopus. Rimuru gulps and is probably thinking: "Oh, slurp.." Benimaru visibly shivers. "*smiles too widely* What were you about to say about my cooking?!" Irina takes some of the cake and shoves it in Korosensei's mouth immediately. He lets out a muffled scream and yell: "THE BEST TASTING CAKE I HAVE EVER HAD UP TO NOW!" Shion grins genuinely only for it to turn to a devious one. Korosensei is horrified by her expression but keeps eating the cake shoved into his mouth, afraid of what would happen otherwise. He dies due to the cake and somehow immediately comes back to life and suppresses an urge to throw up. Shion yells: "Hey! It's time for the next surprise! The cake can be finished later! Come on out, pretty women! Show Korosensei what you have to offer! Oh and don't forget the grayscale surprise, everyone else!" I activate grayscale on my protective glasses. Korosensei is the only one who isn't wearing a pair.

I sigh in resignation: "Here we go.." And with that, some of the women in our collective come out of the back of the store with beautiful outfits on. Korosensei has a spot where his nose should be burst open and bleed out. His skin turns pink and he blushes really hard: "HEHEHEHE, MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE! THIS IS-" He gets a closer look at some of the outfits, becomes too shocked in a in awe way to move or comprehend anything anymore and dies of a heart attack. This, dear readers, is due to the newly created "Looks That Quite Literally Kill" line of fashion forward clothing created through a collaboration between many individuals. Even I played a hand(and a sword) in the creation of the collection. We even had Pinky from the town I used to run as mayor for 2 years: Fun Land test out the outfits in a fashion show for the snobbiest and most corrupt elite possible as part of an assassination mission to stop a world from allying with Nacirema due to its corrupt leadership, government, and so forth. She went there with Deidara as back up. She finally got her wish of being famous to an extent on that mission. The elites stood no chance against such jaw dropping clothing, none of them survived and Deidara was fitted with the grayscale glasses which had finished development before the mission took place. They were designed specifically to protect us from the looks that literally kill as grayscaling them in the view of our retinas is a great way to keep them from killing any of us through shock and heart attacks. Korosensei died many times to the line of clothing before they all went back to the back of the store.

The octopus was completely out of it by that time. And just when all plans of assassination seemed over, Nagisa and Karma plus their ex classmates convince Korosensei to try on some of the shoes. Every time he did, his feet suffered and he ended up dying a few more times. But then, holes started appearing below us. A voice speaks: "Since none of you will go to the Purple Realm willingly, I will bring all of you here myself and there's nothing you can do to stop me!" I grit my teeth and climb up a shelf of shoes before pulling out my BRAIN Blaster and start firing at any holes that appear in an attempt to close them. We all end up working together to try to stop the holes. Dominic yells: "Such a nap causation! I will use the true power of science and my powers as an Atom Smasher to make this all go away or fail miserably!" The voice is shocked as we fight back. "Stop it! You are coming to the Purple Realm and YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!" LLENN replies: "Screw that! We don't want anything to do with whatever that place is! Screw you too, random voice!" "Hey! I'm not a random voice! I'm a rational moderate who thinks annoying election discourse that isn't constructive must be heard by everyone!" I sigh as I retort myself: "Are you that desperate to piss off not just us but SEEMINGLY just about every potential reader from the US who decides to read the written version of this entire fiasco that I'm going to be writing tomorrow and then publishing publicly?! At the same time, I'm just asking to take some heat for even writing about this and focusing on the election discourse nonsense you and your Purple Realm and whatever keep pushing onto us! I know full well publishing this as a story chapter might seriously piss some readers off.

But I don't have a choice when you're pushing such crap on us so much! Election discourse screaming bananas? Seriously?!" But despite all of our powers, skills, and abilities combined.. "DAMN IT! ARTIST'S EYE: EVOLUTION! CREATIVE BLADE! LETS COUNTER THESE DAMAN HOLES SERIOUSLY THIS TIME! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Unleashing creative energy from my eyes and channeling it into physical attacks with my sword does little to help our situation. Myself, Dominic, and others with some level of magical ability combine efforts to use techniques otherwise not possible but still nothing. Not even Korosensei's speed is able to save him from eventually losing to those damn holes. The entire store's floor ends up getting swallowed hole by one huge hole forming due to use pushing so many little ones back and trying to close them. The next moment, we were inside a very purple dimension indeed. Looking around, we see all kinds of strange things. A remix of the Harlem Shake, "Biden Blast", Dragon Ball Pee Pee, "I have a bad case of diarrhea" song and music video with dancing, explosive banana man, Little Baby's Ice Cream ads, We Are Number One, Oh Yeah Mr. Krabs, "Inflates you, making you big around", "'Cheese' pizza?! Are you a toddler?!'" tweet from 2021, Annoying Orange, Fus Ro Dah compilations, "We will build a wall", "Bing Bing bong", Bed Intruder song, "Aint nobody got time for that", and lots more old bad/absurd things that are dead now along with active bad internet things. And before we knew it, we saw the source of the mysterious voice.

It's a smiling white man with a suit and tie on because of course it is. "Hello there! You're finally here for the election discourse! Let the discourse escalate at once now that our guests are here to be constantly bombarded with it!" That's when the other voices began as images of posts and videos from countless sites appear all around us. It was so chaotic. I pull out sound blocking earbuds right now to try to block it all out but that didn't help. "DONT YOU HAVE MORALS?! VOTE THIRD PARTY, NOT HARRIS! WHAT ABOUT TRUMP?! WHO CARES ABOUT HIM, HARRIS MUST BE PUNISHED EVEN IF IT MEANS HE WINS!" Sighing, I yell: "Voting a third party candidate for president does nothing in a gerrymandered two party system! We need ranked choice voting in all states!" "SHUT UP, TRASH! VOTING FOR HARRIS MEANS YOU SUPPORT GENOCIDE!" "No it doesn't. I feel like I have no choice but to vote for her. I'm disgusted that that's how it is. It hurts my heart. If there was a better electoral option that could stop Trump, I would go for that but there isn't and I hate everything about that fact." "IM BLOCKING YOU." "Good idea since we can't engage in calm conversation apparently." It just keeps on being annoying. So many rancid takes involving people calling each other names being audible. It was so much that I can't even write about nearly a quarter of everything I heard without it taking ages. It's all this blaming and name calling, a waste of valuable time. If you think I'm reacting badly to it, just wait till you hear how some of the others faired. Korosensei screams: "MY EARS ARE BLEEDING?! HOW MUCH ELECTION DISCOURSE HAS EVEN BEEN GOING ON LATELY?!"

"YOU MUST ALWAYS HAVE MORAL PURITY!" "NO YOU CANT! ASSASSINATION SHOWS THIS! AAAAAAAAAA! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING EVEN MORE! MAKE IT STOP! I DIDNT EVEN THINK I REALLY HAD EARS ANYMORE UNTIL NOW!" Shion is trying to break the Purple Realm to get out after numerous attempts to leave failed. I tried through as many means as possible as well but nothing. None of us can get out and contacting others not trapped here isn't working either. It's a giant mess and very annoying. Within 30 minutes, most of us were left just screaming in agony at all of the constant back and forth arguing. It just wouldn't end. Many of us tried to have reasonable replies to whatever was screaming us at any particular moment even though I'm basically the only BRAINS member who has to deal with living in a US where Harris and Trump are the candidates who can win in the 2024 elections. The breakdown of the arguments and discourse was that we were hearing lots of decent takes from leftists and a few liberals and others but it was also being shouted over by awful takes that we're just continuing to give us headaches. After some time, some of us started getting hungry with Carlos yelling: "Forget the discourse! I'm eating!" He pulls out some fruit and starts eating it. Eventually, we all just ignore all of the voices to eat things and stuff while also talking with one another to ignore the annoying election discourse through selective hearing. But that still wasn't enough because we couldn't keep ignoring it. Despite our efforts to selectively hear anything but the discourse, it eventually couldn't be ignored anymore as bad take havers decided to get more obnoxious, outright demanding we listen to their ridiculous nonsense.

All of these bad takes boil down to nonsense such as that Harris supporting genocide means she isn't perfect which is such a terrible argument I can't even, Trump should be voted for because Harris sucks so much, vote third party because that will save the day, don't vote at all even if that means Trump wins, opposing Harris on genocide as well as despising Trump at the same time means you're a Trump supporter, and so forth. All of those takes are terrible. And yet despite that, we kept hearing takes like them constantly for what felt like an eternity. Out of nowhere, Melvin from Yugioh Abridged appears with a twisted grin on his face: "Hello there, now you get to understand why I escaped this Purple Realm all those years ago! AHAHAHHAAHAHAAHAHAHA! And I am here to watch you suffer by being constantly annoyed while carrying my Millennium stab thing! That's right! MY MILLENNIUM STAB THING! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! What's all this annoying stuff I'm hearing?! Let me pay more attention! *grins more widely* Oh look! It's my new favorite joke that I'm hearing! And that joke is all of these arguments! THEYRE SO EVIL AND NONSENSICAL THAT EVEN I WOULD NEVER OUTLOUD SAY SUCH FOOLISH THINGS! It's no wonder it's causing all of you so much pain and agony! I can see it on your faces! Maybe all of you just need some not sinister at all hugs! Is that what you need?! ID BE MORE THAN GLAD TO IF YOU ALLOW ME TO HOLD MY MILLENNIUM STAB THING WHILE HUGGING YOU! WE COULD HAVE SUCH GOOD HUGS!" I have a pounding headache from hearing all of this crap. I scream: "THIS IS WHY I DONT ENGAGE IN ELECTION DISCOURSE ONLINE! ITS SO DAMN ANNOYING AND IS ONLY HURTING US ALL!

Trump has to lose! That's the most important thing. Harris is an awful candidate too but not as evil, still very much evil but there's no other choice! People are calling this election an impossible situation and it's so true! Why are people wasting so much time arguing with each other?! Right.. Some liberals just really hate leftists for not accepting the Democrat position on stuff, some leftists rightfully hate Harris so much for supporting Israel that they have blindsided how much worse Trump is than even people like her are, Trump voters & compatriots ask people who Trump wants to ruin the lives of to have some compassion and not shut them out, and a whole other bunch of things that scream we need better communication and understanding by nature! Sometimes, I've felt like I was being mentally twisted into a pretzel with all the contrasting viewpoints on Harris for a time! We can't always pick a good choice when making a decision. *pulls out sword and grips it tightly to the point my hand is probably bleeding a bit* Damn it! We don't always have the option of a truly right thing to do! That includes in this election! I don't entirely think voting for Harris is a moral choice and not voting or voting third party are terrible choices! Like what kind of messed up country was I even born into where not voting or voting third party aren't actually good choices?! This is completely ridiculous! But stopping Trump is a good moral choice and the best way to do that electorally is to make sure she wins and hope to crap that Trump can't weasel his sorry butt back into power like the pile of sewage he is anyway! Normally, I'm much calmer than this but not today, especially as I'm intentionally yelling over ALL OF THIS DAMN DISCOURSE SO I CAN HEAR MYSELF SPEAK!

Do any of these people with rancid election takes even CARE about the people Trump promises to hurt like non binary people like me for example?! No, Harris won't save non binary people but she won't go full dictator and crush us all along with our social lives! But guess who wants to do just that?! Not her. Trump and his pals are the ones who want to do that. And our pronouns are used in Republican ads as attacking words! We're real and not your pawns, you bastards! *takes a bite of a pizza slice after putting sword away* The election has consumed so many of my thoughts lately! The whole world I live in is holding its breath, so many people are angry, uncertain, scared, and more. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Voting for Harris is almost like a moral paradox and so is not voting or voting third party. It has to come down to which decision will hurt the least people. And that's voting for Harris as much as I want to gag just saying such a thing. As a knight and as a protector of the multiverse who cannot use their own superhuman strength in their own home universe at all, this truly sickens me. Do you think I want to vote for Harris? No, I don't! I originally planned on not voting at all but changed my mind. And now, I'm just waiting on my damn mail in ballot to arrive to me already. Where is it? I just registered this month to vote but that doesn't mean I shouldn't get the mail in ballot I asked for. Humanity is not okay. And I question whether the people who make these rancid election tastes are okay or not. I'm genuinely concerned that they're not okay because it's not okay that they're not okay. WILL THESE VOICES QUIET DOWN AT LEAST?!" But it still keeps on going with Melvin and that man just watching in amusement as we struggle to deal with the election discourse.

Discourse from which there is no escape this time. None of us are even yelling back anymore at the rancid takes, not even the likes of Yappa Yappa or Korosensei. Even Pinkie Pie is sick of all of this crap. It's gotten so repetitive. We're just done with it. We have now been in this realm for several hours. My mind is exhausted but still functioning. After finishing eating, I just don't feel like talking to anyone at the moment and sit on the ground, clutching my sword tightly after pulling it back out. "Uuuuuuuuggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.." Then, out of nowhere, Rarity yells: "I'm so tired of this awful place! It's not beautiful at all! I want out of here! Twilight! Is there anyway for us to escape!" "Well.. Maybe if we.." Melvin laughs: "If you use the power of friendship to combine all of your attacks and concentrate them on the same point, is that what you were going to say?! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHA! I don't even need to use my Millennium stab thing on any of you! I'll just watch as you fail and give you hugs if any of you want them! I'm all about giving free hugs!" Yami shouts: "Don't give Melvin a hug, he's probably going to stab you or something! Wait, havent I said this before?!" But before Melvin could reply, the former E Class students all point guns at him and Nagisa says: "Show him no mercy!" Melvin is forced to retreat: "This isn't over! I will be back when you least expect it! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHA! SO LONG, YOU STEVES! SO LONG, SUSAN!" Joey replies: "My name is STILL NOT Susan!" "That's such a Susan thing of you to say, Susan! Bye bye! I'll give you a free hug next time we meet! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!"

We then decide to try to bust out by coordinating on a single point despite all of the annoying election discourse now being on literal repeat. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Here's my contribution! Everything I can give.. In a single attack! With the wind inside of me, I enhance my speed and strength by 20%! Continuous Great Infernal Tornado Slash: 150 BUT WITH EVERY LAST BIT OF EFFORT I CAN MUSTER! SOMEONE BETTEE ABSORB ALL OF THIS AND SEND IT BACK OUT AS A CONCENTRATED FORCE!" We all pitch in but nothing happens despite the tremendous combined force knocking most of us off our feet. Even Yappa Yappa struggled to stay standing while I was among those who got swept up by the force and crashed into stuff hard. My armor protected me but it still kind of hurt a bit. Or that's what I'd say if my sense of pain hadn't vanished back in August in this body. I get up, feeling pretty dizzy and saw for myself just how ineffective our best possible effort was. Dominic is kicking around remnants of really dead internet things in frustration. But a few minutes later, a massive force busts right through into this realm from below, revealing so many of our comrades riding something. It's a train of some kind conducted by.. by.. I yell out: "WHAT?! TORVALD THE TURD?! YOU WERE ERASED FROM EXISTENCE ABOUT 4 YEARS AGO!" Torvald replies: "That's right! Now I'm back for good and I've changed completely! Now let me further fill the plans of that man over there with more poop! Hold on, everyone! There's plenty of space!" The man in question is shocked: "What is this?! WHY MUST MY PLEAS FOR ELECTION DISCOURSE TO BE HEARD BE IGNORED?!"

I reply as the BRAINS member who has to deal with living in the society where said discourse is taking place: "You don't get it. Election discourse has to end but there are points from it that do have to be worked into the thinking process of all USAians. A lot of people are making election discourse filled largely with rancid takes that only make things worse. We're leaving now and you can keep your Purple Realm. But eventually, we may come back but right now, there's really no time for rancid election discourse or you. Arguing with people stating rancid takes is a waste of time. To beat Trump, people have to have real and calm conversations among other things." I hope on Torvald's train which is powered by the combined powers of everyone on board apparently. A few minutes later, the train hops through wormholes into it reaches the main spaceport onboard our now spherical and large space station. And that is how our time trapped in US election discourse quite literally came to an end. But the day was not over. Find out what I mean in the A Collection Of Other Adventures chapter right after Ultimate Haunted House. Don't engage with rancid election discourse if you aren't in it to change someone's POV or have the patience for it. Just read it and see what you can learn and that's that.