A/N: Ok. I actually do own Chuck. Naw, just kidding.
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They were back in the Los Angeles CIA headquarters seated at one end of a conference table behind locked doors. With a glance at his watch, Casey said, "Right." He and Sarah stood up. After a couple of seconds of befuddlement, so did Chuck. All three faced a dark screen on the wall.
Casey said, "Put on your big boy pants, kid, you are about to talk to the Director of the CIA and the Director of the NSA." Casey seemed angry, but Chuck now understood that anger was Casey's resting state.
Chuck tried his best to hide his nerves, but was doing a pretty poor job of it. Sarah reached out and lightly squeezed his hand. That was nice, but didn't quell the butterflies in his stomach.
The screen activated with no warning and they found themselves looking at General Beckman and Director Graham.
Beckman said, "Good evening, Major Casey, Agent Walker and Mr. Bartowski. Congratulations on the successful capture of Andric. It seems you have apprehended his entire cell."
Graham picked up, "General Beckman and I want to congratulate all three of you on a major, major victory."
Chuck, somewhat tentatively, raised his hand, not too sure about the protocol of speaking to these two luminaries. "Yes, Mr. Bartowski?" said Graham.
"I think Bryce Larkin deserves some credit, as well," said Chuck. Sarah looked at him in surprise, knowing Chuck's feelings about Bryce. Casey just grunted. "He sent me the encoded information about the bomb plot and Andric's cell. Without that we wouldn't have known of his involvement. Bryce must have known the plot was imminent. I don't know why me...or why he picked such a messed-up way to communicate it...but he clearly wanted someone to know about it...So, I guess he deserves some credit...posthumously, I guess." He saw Beckman and Graham exchange a glance that he couldn't read.
Beckman said, "Mr. Bartowski..."
"Please call me Chuck, General. Mr. Bartowski is my dad, and he's not around anymore."
"Mr. Bartowski." she emphasized his last name and her refusal to adopt a lesser level of formality. "I'm afraid you are under a misapprehension about what Larkin sent you...what you downloaded into your brain. It wasn't limited to the Andric cell or their plans. After 9-11, the government decided that the CIA and the NSA had to play nice with each other. We had to share intelligence. So, we did, and the intersection of all that intelligence, we called the Intersect. That's what you have. Not a tiny database pertaining to the Serbians bombing the hotel. All of it. Everything. All our secrets are now in your head. We think it's merely a coincidence that the information you used to capture Andric arrived in your...possession...when it did."
Casey grunted in surprise.
Sarah said, "What?" Her mouth hung open in obvious shock.
Chuck said, "No way. That's nuts. This has got to be a joke. That's got to be ,,,what?...an exabyte of information?"
Graham said, "Actually about a zettabyte."
"HOLY CRAP! That's insane. That's in my head?" He reached up and clutched his head with both hands. "How is this even possible?" He looked a little panicked.
"We had our scientists working for months to encode that data so that it could be downloaded into test subjects," said Graham.
"Test subjects? You mean you haven't done this before? I'm a test subject? Whoa, love talking with you guys. This just gets better and better."
"Chuck," said Sarah, clutching his arm, "Don't freak out. I'm sure it isn't as bad as it sounds." She turned to the screen, "Right? This isn't as bad as it sounds."
"You're the first," said Beckman.
Chuck took a few deep breaths and said, "Ok. Ok. Well, as the first, and so far only, test subject, I can tell you unequivocally that this new set up of yours sucks. I have all this data in my head and no way to access it except by accident. If you wanted to make the smartest test subject in the world, it didn't work."
Graham spoke up, "As you've seen, as you see something it triggers the information to come to the fore."
"Well, it doesn't work. Sarah and Casey are no doubt in the files...in my head...and I didn't flash on either of them. Hell, I've been hanging around with CIA agents all day and didn't flash on a single one. You," he gestured towards Graham and Beckman, "are both in my head and I didn't flash on either of you either."
"Why are you so sure I'm in the Intersect?" asked Graham.
"Because you were a CIA chief of station before you became Director," answered Chuck.
"See? You flashed on me and didn't even realize it," he replied.
"No, Director. That was from your Senate confirmation hearing," said Chuck. Casey and Sarah looked at him with surprise. "What? I read the papers."
"Conversely, Mr. Bartowski, you identified Andric and six other members of the Serbian militia at Union Station," said Beckman.
"I did, but I also had several flashes yesterday and the bomb still killed 30 people at the hotel last night, so that bit wasn't much of a victory."
"Well, it's a work in progress, obviously," admitted Graham.
"I wish you luck with it. I really do. I hope it works out to make brilliant spies or whatever. Since I got it by mistake, I won't miss it when you take it out." This time he could read the look Graham and Beckman gave each other. "Guys, you can take this out, right? It comes out, right? Tell me you didn't set this up to put in test subjects with no way to remove it." Graham and Beckman looked embarrassed. Chuck yelled, "What the hell is the matter with you people?" As upset as he was, Sarah and Casey thought he had every right to be.
"It was never intended that the entire Intersect would be downloaded into a single individual. We never even thought that was possible, Mr. Bartowski," said Beckman.
"Oh, great. I feel so much better now."
"Until we can recreate the encoding, you will be the only working Intersect," said Graham.
"You aren't going to try this with any other 'test subjects'?" asked Chuck
"We can't. Larkin blew up the computer," said Beckman.
"So, pull the data from the offsite back up. Use that."
Again, Beckman and Graham looked embarrassed.
"Guys, you had off-site back up, right?" Both of them looked down or away from the camera. "Oh, seriously, come on. No offsite back up for a crucial computer system? Seriously? Who do you have in charge of IT? That's ridiculous. I'll have you know that as a taxpayer I find this deeply dispiriting."
Both Sarah and Casey did their best to hide small smiles.
"And another thing, while I'm thinking about it. How did a zettabyte of information get transmitted through a single email? I can't even email a video game to a friend because the file is too big."
For the first time, Beckman looked somewhat smug. "The NSA has created top of the line compression software to enable a great deal of information to be transmitted easily."
"Wow," Chuck said, clearly impressed. "That's really cool. Is it lossy or lossless?" When met by silence, he expanded, "You know, whether or not information is lost to allow the compression. I kind of hope it's lossy." They looked baffled.
"Ok, never mind. One day I'll talk to some of your computer guys and find out. So, let me summarize, if I can. I have a huge database of government secrets in my head that we don't know how to remove and that sort of pops up sometimes when I see something that triggers it. That about cover it?"
"A fair summary," said Graham. "I believe that you could be a valuable asset to the country. In combination with a team of experienced agents, your Intersect insight might be crucial in helping us protect people."
"On the other hand, Mr. Bartowski," continued Beckman, "there are some of us who feel that it would be very dangerous for you...and our country...for the information you have to fall into enemy hands. We feel that the most prudent course of action would be to relocate you to a secure holding facility."
Sarah spoke up, "No. No bunker for Chuck."
"What did you say. Agent Walker?" asked Beckman. Both Chuck and Casey looked at her with surprise.
"I said, no, General. You can't pick up an innocent American citizen and drop him in a hole. That's not what we do in this country."
"Agent Walker, we all know that certain civil liberties are subject to ...abridgement...when it comes to matters of national security," said Beckman.
"Granted, General, but not incarcerating an innocent man. I am whole-heartedly in favor of treating our enemies harshly, but not our own people. I'm one of the good guys, Ma'am. This is not the kind of stuff we do," said Sarah.
Beckman had no patience for this insubordination, and it was reflected in her tone of voice, "Agent Walker, I don't know where you ever got the impression that you have a say in this matter, but I assure you that you do not. From now on you may keep your opinions to yourself and allow your superiors to discuss these matters."
"General, you are conversant with the ICWPA, I expect." At her mention of the Intelligence Community Whistleblower Protection Act of 1998. Beckman scowled fiercely and released a windy sigh.
"Agent Walker, you would seriously destroy your career over this matter?"
"I would sure as shit destroy somebody's career."
"You really think that you alone can stop us if we were to make this decision? I didn't think you were this naïve." Beckman turned to Graham, who appeared to have been enjoying the argument. "Director, in the NSA we train our people to take orders."
Casey spoke for the first time. "General, I agree with you that Walker can't take you on alone, whistleblower or not. The deck is stacked against her way too much." He folded his arms over his massive chest and said, "Too bad, General. I agree with her. No bunker for Bartowski. You can certainly steamroll him. You may be able to steamroll Walker. But, you'll have a hell of a time steamrolling all three of us."
Beckman, now clearly furious, almost sputtered, "Major, just what the hell do you think you are doing?"
"General, if a young Marine under my command performed in Afghanistan the way Bartowski performed in Union Station this afternoon, I would recommend him, or her, for a Silver Star." Sarah gasped and Chuck made a mental note to learn the significance of that award. "No bunker."
"Major, I can give you a direct order," she fumed.
"Which I would view as illegal as applied to an American citizen, and, as per the UCMJ, would be obligated, not permitted, obligated, to ignore." At the mention of the Uniform Code of Military Justice Beckman turned even redder in the face than a moment before if that were even possible.
"How dare you...," said Beckman.
"Before you start...," said Sarah.
"General, we agreed that...," said Graham.
"This is getting...," said Casey.
"Excuse me...," said Chuck.
"I don't think you...," said Sarah.
"..chain of command...," said Beckman.
"...greatest benefit...," said Graham.
"Guys...," said Chuck.
"... honorable service...," said Casey.
"...you have no idea...," said Sarah.
Everyone was yelling at everybody else at an increasing volume and no one was listening to anyone else.
"QUIET," bellowed Chuck at the top of his lungs.
Into the sudden startled silence, Chuck said, "I volunteer." Everybody looked at Chuck and he repeated, "I volunteer. I volunteer to help. I want to help. Don't look so surprised. Each of you volunteered for the jobs you are doing." Chuck missed the look that passed between Sarah and Graham.
Graham smiled, "That's good news. Thank you. May I ask why?"
"Well, Director, from what you've told me I'm the only Intersect for, at least, months. That gives me an ability that you can't duplicate. And with great power comes great responsibility."
Graham nodded sagely and said softly, "Spiderman." Beckman looked at him like he'd lost his mind, and Graham said to her, innocently, "What?"
Chuck raised his hand again to get their attention. When he had it, he continued, "I have two conditions, though."
Beckman rolled her eyes and said to Graham, "This is a mistake."
"What are your conditions?" asked Graham.
"First, you said a team of experienced agents. I want this to be the team. I want to work with Agents Walker and Casey."
"Agent Walker?" asked Graham with a tiny smile.
"I'm good," said Sarah.
"Major Casey?" asked Beckman.
"Yes," said Casey.
"Very well,' said Graham. "What's your second condition?"
"That I be considered an analyst, not an asset."
Beckman started to say, "We can't have an inexperienced..."
Graham cut her off, "That's the same thing. It shouldn't matter to you."
"It's not the same thing at all, Director. An 'Asset'..." Chuck held his hands up and made air quotes with his fingers, "... is, and I quote, 'an individual, usually a foreign national, with particular information or access thereto to be handled by intelligence officers as necessary to obtain the information.' An analyst, however, is 'an individual US Citizen, or Cleared Foreign National, who will consult with and advise the intelligence officers on matters within his or her expertise and otherwise support the team's mission.'"
"Where did you read that?" said Graham.
"I read it in Intelligence and Its Collection. That's the textbook you use to teach new spies the spy business when they attend classes at the Farm. It's the intro course. I was reading it all afternoon. There's a whole chapter on how to handle assets."
Graham frowned, "You don't have the clearance..."
Chuck interrupted him, "Little late for that, don't you think?" He pointed to his head. Graham shrugged, conceding the point. "You left a computer nerd all day in a facility with dozens of CIA computers. What did you expect to happen? Stop looking so surprised, guys. I'm a nerd. When we run into something we don't understand, we read about it. But anyway, I'm not going to be an asset. I don't need to be bribed, seduced, blackmailed, cajoled, threatened, coerced, manipulated, or tricked. I don't need to be handled. I love my country and want to help. So, I'm volunteering to be an analyst."
"Having a handler isn't so bad, Mr. Bartowski. Agents themselves have handlers," said Beckman.
"Yeah, I know. Pretty confusing that you guys use the same word for two very different positions. An agent's handler is more of a supervisor with a bit of mentor thrown in. Completely different thing. In case you care, General, that was in a footnote. So that's it. I am on board if you guys are good with that stipulation."
Graham said, "Agent Walker, what do you think?"
Sarah said, "I think that's a fine idea." She did everything she could to keep a straight face. Inside, of course, she wanted to jump Chuck and smother him with kisses.
Beckman said, "Major?" She seemed to have forgiven him for his previous behavior.
"General, you've known me for years and you know that I am dedicated to the mission. If Bartowski wants to be called an asset, I say we do it. If he wants to be called an analyst, I say we do it. If he wants to be called king, I say we do it. I couldn't care less what we call him so long as we have his help...Ma'am."
"Good," said Graham. "Then it's done. Thank you. Agents Walker and Casey will set up to remain in Los Angeles to work with you and protect you. We will create cover stories for them, to explain to the public and your friends and family why they are suddenly present in your life."
"Director, in my case that will not be necessary. Chuck and I are dating, so my presence will not require a cover."
"Oh, for God's sake. Graham," said Beckman, "what kind of half-assed operation are you going to allow this to turn into?"
"What?" asked Graham.
"Not only do we lack the control we would have over an asset, but your agent is involved with him romantically."
"So? Who cares? I met my wife in the Agency."
"That would never stand in the NSA." declared Beckman.
"Really? We have married couples in the CIA. Some of our best agent teams, in fact. Interoffice romance. Whatever."
Both Chuck and Sarah looked pretty uncomfortable with the way the discussion was going.
"What if they break up? What does that do to the team dynamics?"
"General, why borrow trouble from tomorrow? If their relationship doesn't work out, we'll deal with it then. And seriously, General, is this particular stone one you want to throw?"
Beckman managed to look angry and embarrassed at the same time.
"Alright, then. Agent Walker, Major Casey and Mr. Bart...Chuck, it's settled. Good night and thank you all."
The screen went black.
Sarah turned to Chuck with an ear to ear smile of joy. "Well, I think that went well."
Chuck said, "I want to thank you. Thank you both for everything you did for me tonight. You really put yourselves at risk for me." His sincere gratitude was patently manifest.
Sarah said, "Chuck, it was the right thing to do. I'd have done it for anyone."
"Don't make me regret it, kid," said Casey.
"I'll do my best not to, Casey."
Sarah said, "I didn't expect your support, Casey. Thank you."
Casey grunted and responded, "I didn't do it for you, Walker. I did it for him."
"I understand." She reached her arms up and behind her, stretching. "I'm going to do my paperwork in the morning. Right now, I'm starving. Come on, guys, let's go get dinner. I haven't eaten since room service this morning," said Sarah.
"You two lovebirds go without me. I am going to work late," said Casey. The jibe was delivered gently, with no malice.
"OK, I'll talk to you tomorrow and we can coordinate this operation."
"Right," said Casey.
Chuck and Sarah said their goodnights and headed out to her company car, holding hands.
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Once the conference call was disconnected, Graham and Beckman sat looking at each other for a moment. Then, simultaneously, both started laughing. "Well, that went well," said Beckman.
"One hundred percent, Diane. You play a great 'bad cop'."
"It's the uniform. Makes the role easy. So, we have the willing cooperation of a walking talking Intersect. Think he'll stick around when he realizes this life is no fun?"
"Diane, he's sleeping with Walker. How far do you think he's going to wander?"
"Yeah, that's a good point. She seems to really like him."
"Well, I wish him luck. She's pretty messed up," said Graham. "The one that surprised me was Casey. Where did that come from?"
"That 'silver star' comment, yeah. The only thing I can assume is that Bartowski's performance at Union Station impressed the hell out of Casey. And he's seen multiple combat tours. Takes a lot to impress him."
"Think there's more to Bartowski than we thought?"
Beckman answered, "I don't know, Langston. I guess we'll find out."
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A/N2: I admit it. I let Chuck channel my inner dislike of the Intersect into his conversation with Beckman and Graham. The Intersect was, in my opinion, in addition to being impossible on so many levels and straining suspension of disbelief beyond its breaking point, a lazy writer's device. There was no rhyme or reason to how or when he flashed. If the writers wanted a flash, they got one. If not, nope. And don't' get me started on the thought that Chuck was a risk to national security by walking around with all the country's secrets in his head. It's not like you could turn him over and all America's secrets would pour out onto the floor. That's only a risk if the bad guys caught him and showed him random pictures until (a) he flashed on something, (b) it was something they gave a damn about and didn't already know themselves, (c) they could make him talk about it, and (d) he told the truth about what he suddenly knew when he did talk. Any bad guy with a hint of common sense would give up in frustration and go back to a tried and true method of obtaining our secrets, like bribing someone or hacking our poorly defended computer systems. Here endeth rant.
One more thing, Chuck never downloaded Bryce's email, he opened it. So, his trashed hard drive had nothing to do with anything and Sarah's question as to whether or not he had a back-up hard drive (external or otherwise) wasn't at all pertinent. Bryce's email, with all that it contained, was still on the servers for the ISP's that hosted Bryce and Chuck's respective email accounts. Problem solved. Go get it, Beckman/Graham.
Just a little more. If anyone claims that you couldn't have Chuck without the Intersect, I invite you to read Chuck vs. La Belle Dame sans Merci by Grayroc. It's a crackling good story without a whisper of Intersect or any other magical thinking.
There's only one more chapter until Chuck's new day comes to an end. But if folks like this take on the story, I can arrange for Chuck to meet Dr. Zarnow. Let me know.
