This chapter is dedicated to Seiramallipop, who wanted to see Merlin yelling at Arthur about 'handing him his life on a silver platter' and ruining it. So I hope they liked how I included that line in there ;p
This chapter is also dedicated to cmber, who wanted Merlin to point out Arthur had no right to be angry with kissing Gwen as Arthur was the one who once told Merlin he could go out with other men as long as he was discreet about it. I hope they like how I included that line ;p
This chapter is ALSO dedicated to Jacquelyn, who wanted to see Arthur asking Merlin what his type of man was. I do hope they enjoyed how I included it ;p
X
An entire minute seemed to past by Arthur in silence, and then two minutes passed. And then five…and then an entire eternity could have passed Arthur Pendragon by. And the only thing he would have to show for all that time passed was his inability to stop staring at Merlin Pendragon. Merlin Pendragon…a man he was meant to be sharing a life with. A man who would stand at his side till death to them part. A man who would be there with every celebration, every event, every tragedy, and even every destruction meant to tear Arthur from the throne. And he was the man who had just told Arthur Pendragon he would…never be free of him.
His own husband.
As if their marriage wasn't anything more than some prison sentence.
Honestly, the whole reason Arthur didn't say anything at first, is because he wasn't sure he had actually heard what he had thought he heard. But Merlin was still staring at him with those half lidded eyes, those glossy looking lips, with Arthur's marks on his face…and he bore no shame in his expression. It almost took Arthur's breath away, seeing a man with no shame telling him such things. But with that came the indignation Arthur had never been able to escape from. The part inside of him that he wanted to leave behind coming forth almost against his will…it was the part of him that remained split in half. Where one half of him-his true half-wanted to hear what nonsense thing that'd be said next from his consort. And the other half-the half that had formed by how he'd been raised-that said anybody else in the world would have been hung by their thumbs if they'd went and spurned the hard work Arthur had done for them.
And like falling into old habits, Arthur allowed himself to follow the path of least resistance…
"You…You ungrateful little sod. You…do you not know what you are saying? Did your poisoning cut the oxygen off to your brain while I was gone or something?" Arthur demanded, raising his hand to tap harshly at his own temple. Wanting nothing more than to jab Merlin in the temple instead. So Merlin could feel all the blisters currently imbedded in Arthur's cuticles. Blisters he could have worn with pride if it wasn't for Merlin's indifference to what he had done. Blisters he had earned by climbing right up a fifty foot wall just to return to him. And yet, all of this was the thanks he got? It made one wonder whether or not Merlin should have been saved at all, if he couldn't stop his attitude long enough to show a bit of gratitude. "Do you not know just what I have done for you? I saved your life! I faced danger like you wouldn't believe just to return here. And you're looking at me only because of what I did! I defied my father! You could at least not start kissing the first person you see! You could show me how thankful you are instead! You could…you could…"
Arthur trailed off, leaning his hands forward so that his palms were resting on the footboard of Merlin's bed, needing to hold onto something solid. He got caught up in the thoughts…in the idea of Merlin thanking 'him' for saving him. Sure, Gwen might have gotten a kiss from Merlin because she…because she had gotten the flower here while Arthur was trapped inside the cell of hell. But if Merlin knew Arthur had almost gotten made into a dinner for spiders, if he knew a witch had offered to take him from his hands and Arthur had denied her, if Merlin knew he'd done the impossible and followed a glowing ball of light to his safety…would he feel different? Would he give Arthur a reward all of his own. Would he think his lips were so lucious, that he'd accept a kiss all his own from Merlin? Probably not…Arthur felt cheated out of his own reward. Stolen from him by Gwen being there first.
If Merlin had offered him a kiss for his bravery in battle, then it would be tainted. Arthur-if he even dared agree to accept it as the one thing Merlin had to give him-would taste nothing other than what Gwen left behind, lingering on the boy's fair lips. He would want more from Merlin…would demand more than just a single kiss for all the trouble he had gone through. The blond's hands clenched a little tighter on the footboard, eyes lingering on Merlin's lips again…yes. He wouldn't settle for left overs or sloppy seconds or anything of the such. If he gave into Merlin and his whims, Arthur would take him for everything he bloody well had. Arthur would shove his tongue straight down Merlin's scrawny little throat, mapping out the crevices, and tracing out all manner of tracks until Arthur tasted nothing more than what was pure Merlin. He would creep his hands up the other boy's neck, placing a single hand against the column of his throat till it resembled the false embrace of a lover. And when the other boy dared to open his mouth wider, giving himself over to his princely husband willingly, Arthur would press.
Squeeze.
Push.
Until Arthur could feel the desperate fluttering of Merlin's own pulse point going wild beneath his blistered hand. Until Merlin could feel the engraving of Arthur's palm against his flesh till it was the only touch he would ever know again. Erasing any kind of lingering warmth Gwen might have left behind after taking a liberty that had never been hers to take. Feeling that initial bit of struggling Merlin would do underneath him, trying to kick at him between the legs like he'd once done so long ago with his efforts to get him off. Before relaxing into Arthur's hold, letting Arthur betray him like that…so trusting because he knew he'd be allowed his breath again if he just gave in.
The only question remained…
Would Merlin allow him too?
If Arthur demanded this be his reward for saving his life?
"Do you really think I've cared what you might have done as I laid here on my deathbed? Do you really think I care what you did or didn't do with your father while I was struggling?" Asked the consort, continuing their conversation with a large, heavy exhale, as if Arthur had tired him out. But his voice was all soft and croaky, sounding completely absolutely wrecked. Ruined…Merlin seemed completely unaware of the eyes of a far larger predator resting on his form. Nothing more than a gazelle that was meant to be eaten by the lion. The shadows seemed to be shifting unnoticed around Arthur, as if they also wondered the same thing Arthur was wondering…would Merlin sound just as ruined if Arthur did choke him out for his insolence. Would the consort sound 'worse' if Arthur made sure to show him how he would never find a better kisser than Arthur himself was…just to leave him ruined against any other who might try and claim him later down the line. "Maybe you should consider the fact that I wouldn't be in this predicament, and you wouldn't have had to do anything if you had just listened to me for one single time in our whole miserable marriage. But I shouldn't exactly be surprised by all this…I should have known you would ruin my death just like everything else. One would think poison was enough to save me from the likes of you, but yet…I still seem to be here, don't I?"
The melancholy in Merlin's voice has been strong, and the boy heaved out another heavy breath. And Arthur had to wonder if Merlin was truly tired due to his illness, or if he was tired of the prince himself. The questions caused Arthur to grip the board of the bed harder within his grasp, digging his nails into it hard enough to make groves. The frustration within Arthur was way too strong, far stronger than he would have wished for it to be, but there nonetheless. It didn't help with Arthur's insane urge to 'ask Merlin' to let him do something drastic-choke him out was a top choice-in order to claim him again in his own way. To have something Gwen could never replicate or copy…and then Arthur did the impossible. And forced a sharp breath out of his nose to try and calm his nerves before he did something that'd be truly stupid in Merlin's fragile state.
"Your…you're right." Arthur spoke instead, the words that came off his tongue tasted strange in his mouth. He definitely wasn't used to finding fault within himself, and perhaps he could have thrown Merlin's faults back into his face. Like he usually would in a time like this, during one of their arguments. He could say it was Merlin at fault because nobody had pinched closed his nose and then poured the poison down his gullet. He could've said Merlin was at fault because he didn't try hard enough with convincing them of the poison. But honestly…he didn't want to do it. It was a pointless fight where Arthur would be to blame because none of this would have happened if he'd simply been even more aware of his consort during the banquet than he'd already been. Perhaps none of this would have happened if he had simply stopped Merlin from going on that dreaded privacy room break that led up to all of this. Either way…Merlin was his responsibility. Which meant Merlin lying in this bed was sorely his fault…both by ownership and circumstance. Arthur cleared his throat to try and sound less gruff, but he was pretty sure it didn't help, as his voice came out rougher than before, "You're still here, despite what you did. And do you want to know why you are still here, Merlin?" He asked, trailing his fingers up and down the rim of the footboard, sensual movements that would be meant for feeling up the softness of Merlin's skin. "You are here because you tried to take something of mine. And I am here for retribution…I don't take kindly to people ruining things that are mine."
Arthur finished his words with a deep growl, his teeth gashing as if they were fangs…Merlin had popped his head up the very second Arthur had told him he was right. His eyes suddenly far more open and aware of what was going on than they'd been this entire time. But by the time Arthur had finished speaking, the consort had sagged back against the bed. His expression more miserable than it was before. But no matter, thought the prince as his eyes wondered over the still form on his husband in the bed. He would just have to do something grand in order to get Merlin back in his right spirit. Perhaps Arthur could have a party of some sort thrown in order to celebration Merlin and his swift recovery, despite the reckless behavior he'd exhibited doing all this. Arthur could invite all the sons and daughters of the most noble of families, introduce Merlin into society in the proper way that should've been done at his arrival. Of course, it would have to be approved people…people Arthur would be able to count on not being seduced by his consort for a reason or another. Which shortened the list of invites considerably, he could still do 'something' though. Something to show Merlin is his…
"Just go ahead and tell me now, what could I have stolen from you? Because the only thing I ruined was your fancy banquet, since I'm sure you're going to blame me instead of the actual one who poisoned your cup." Merlin grunted, returning a dim stare onto his blanket. Picking absentmindedly on a little piece of fuzz clinging onto the cloth like some kind of leach. And the prince watched those fingers working, the way they tugged on it, and he had to wonder…how could Merlin be this clueless as to not realize what Arthur was talking about. It happened to be glaringly obvious as far as he was concerned. "But hey, just go ahead and tell me…and if that's all you wanted to complain for this time, can you just head out? I can probably guess exactly what you're gonna say anyway.i don't really need to hear it all over again while we fight for the next few hours like we always seem to do…"
Arthur shook his head, he didn't like the way Merlin seemed to be talking at all. The way his voice had lowered into a dim tone as he kept his eyes on the blanket…he had been looking at the handmaiden when she'd been here. He'd looked at Morgana as she joined him on the bed. He'd looked at Gaius when the man had tried kicking him out. The least he could do was look at his own husband as Arthur declared the ownership he was always going to have over Merlin. Death to them part, as the vows the prince had once dismissed out of scorn said, binding the two of them together. In a more permanent way than Gwen could ever hope to become with his consort. In this more permanent way, where not even the bloody witch that had threatened his little husband could possibly hope to ruin with her idle threats. In this more permanent way that stood for…forever.
"You silly, silly…idiotic boy." Arthur spoke with this low chuckle, an effect that was meant to cause shivers to go down a man's spine in fear…the consort deserved it. For making it sound as if Arthur was so predictable, he already knew what the outcome of their fight would be, if one wanted to call this a fight. Since Arthur sure as hell didn't…but Merlin didn't seem to feel those shivers of fear. Arthur could see it from the way Merlin peeked up at him through his lashes, the prominent frown on his face that was present more often than not nowadays. Arthur shook it off, carefully laying down the ruined flowers against Merlin's leg…the consort eyed it warily before looking back to Arthur… "Do I actually have to spell it out for you? Do I actually have to be the one to tell you?" He asked as he took a slow, measured step around the bed so he stood beside Merlin's feet instead, but the consort still stared at him confused. Tilting his head in a cute manner that had Arthur practically salivating with want to cup that cheek in hand. "…YOU, idiotic Merlin, are mine. And that means your life is mine. To do with as I please…your life is not yours to do with as you please. You don't get to just throw it away without my permission. I'm the one that decides if you live or die Merlin. As is my right as your husband. Do you…I do not think you are even aware of the lengths I'm willing to go to keep you by my side. My husband, really…it's quite an honor to be looked at favorably by a prince. You should be proud."
Arthur could feel just the faintest flicker of glee stirring within his veins…favorably. That was the closest the prince was ever going to say he 'liked' Merlin. Liked his lack of interest with his princely husband. Liked his willingness to stand out from any crowd. Liked how temping Merlin could be with his decision to stay away from Arthur only drawing the prince even closer into his orbit. Favorably though…the word made it sound as if he'd been talking about a foreign king's prized concubine. The kind of person considered to be the king's greatest treasure, a man or woman who would come before the king's own wife, for how infinitely precious they were.
Now, Merlin might not be Arthur's most prized concubine, but it was similar enough in this case for Arthur to use that word. A concubine…something Arthur had no use for, but could almost describe Merlin perfectly. A dark haired beauty with legs that'd go on for days if Arthur allowed them too. A blue eyed piece in his bed, smiling seductively as the sheer red sheets the prince favored barely covered his bits, as he crooked a finger to urge Arthur closer with his lust, infecting Arthur's mind like an awful disease he never wanted to be rid of. Merlin might not have all the duties of a concubine…he wasn't laying down across a bed or desk and allowing Arthur to play however he wanted to play with his bottom, but…he was still favorable nonetheless. More than any piss poor noble who had tried to gain the favor of the prince by pretending to be his friend…
Merlin hadn't done that.
Hell, he seemed to pure detest Arthur at times these days.
And it only made the allure surrounding him grow stronger, till Arthur was almost dizzy with it. Swimming in his desperation to come closer. Be closer. Until it would be hard to figure out where Arthur ended and Merlin begin.
"An honor? Are you really standing there and telling me how it is an honor to be married to you? Is your ego really that big, so huge you cannot possibly see the truth hovering right in front of your eyes?" Merlin demanded of him, finally lifting his head off the headboard of the bed, this sharp and bitter scoff came from him. Tinging the air with sourness that made something in the prince coil up and die. Arthur snapped out of his heated thoughts, blinking rapidly to clear his mind, but Merlin kept on with his words. Giving no indicator that he cared about how his husband needed to work hard in order to keep up with exactly how things had taken a turn. Arthur hadn't meant to make that consort of his angry with him…he'd only been trying to reveal and share the importance of their marriage for once. He hadn't anticipated Merlin taking it badly, "Your 'honor' isn't anything more than a fucking prison sentence. For fuck's sake, I literally gave you want you wanted. I handed you my death on a platter literally, and this is what you do with it? You brought me back from the brink of death just so I could hear you congratulate yourself for stopping me from taking what is 'yours'! In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bloody person! I don't belong to or with anybody! You didn't fricken help anybody other than your own damn self!"
Arthur sucked in this shocked breath, feeling a cold, stabbing pain piercing him straight into the chest. As if somebody'd just taken his heart and twisted it into some unrecognizable shape for their own amusement. His consort was denying his claim to his face, denying Arthur's right of ownership. He'd gone even a step further and described their time together as nothing but a prison sentence. Arthur had been to prison! …Okay, his night in the cells had only lasted for a few hours. But those had been the worst few hours of his life! If he had known Merlin alive and well, he could have survived his entire month in the cells. But it was the not knowing whether or not Gwen made it in time that tormented him. It was the helplessness of being unable to see that got underneath his skin. Just talking to Merlin now, even in the midst of such a horrid conversation, felt like it was some kind of godsend. Because he had thought he would never get to hear Merlin's voice again. And yet, Merlin's words hurt him so much more than he would ever admit.
"I just wanted to rest for an eternity, and you took that from my hands without thought to what you were doing. I didn't want to die, Arthur. But you took away the only means of escape I had just so I can become your little puppet and please the people or whatever you'll want to have me do next." Merlin continued in a much softer voice, as if his previous anger had only been a spot of brief anger. And now he'd gone back to the melancholy way of his, once again sagging against the headboard to keep himself sitting upright. "You didn't even stop and bother for a single second to think what I wanted. You just went, gone and did whatever it was you did. But why should I be surprised…it's not as if you have ever thought about anybody but yourself."
A puppet…Arthur thought with wide eyes, his throat working to swallow past the lump in his throat…Merlin thought he was not worth more to him than a stupid puppet? If Arthur wanted only a puppet, he could have gotten any old fool off the street and had them play the part. Odds are, nobody would even notice a difference between the two. But Arthur would have. Even if he ordered his 'fool' to behave like Merlin did, with instructions on bursting into his rooms at inconvenient times. Or talking to his father as if he didn't care if the man had the power to execute him where he stood. Or argue with him about the most inane of things…nothing would have been able to replicate what his consort was. Merlin was irreplaceable to the highest accord. It felt as if he was so above Arthur, the prince would need to get on a ladder in order to reach him, and still never be quite close enough to touch. Always just out of reach, leaving Arthur with a desperation for more that might never come. But be this as it may, Arthur found it extremely different to get those words out of him. He found it extremely difficult to tell Merlin exactly how wrong he was…he wasn't used to emotions. Fire and anger, all that was something he understood. But comfort and just being in the presence of somebody who needed him…that kept him at a loss.
"…Do you really think I would have bothered with you if I only wanted you to be my puppet. Being mine doesn't mean you're a puppet for my pleasure. It means…it means…" Arthur choked out, trying to get some proper wording going on. But despite the extreme vocabulary that had been drilled into his head…he found it infinitely more harder when Merlin lifted his head back up and looked at him. Dull blue eyes meeting his…were those eyes always liked that? When had the fire Arthur adored all this time had gone, and why had it taken him this long just to notice it was gone. And in the end, Arthur looked away so he wouldn't have to stare at the light of his soul, and chickened out, replacing his words with something else, "You said I didn't think about what you wanted. You said you wanted to rest and I took that from you. But how do you expect me to leave you if you talk like that? How do you expect me to walk out and not know if-" 'if this is the last time I'm ever going to see you.' He corrected himself again, the vulnerability in those words were enough to twist his stomach into unpleasant knots, "How do I leave when you keep messing me up? I mean, you went ahead and kissed Gwen even though she is not your wife! You refuse to be in my presence unless I make you, and I'm your lawfully wedded husband…"
As soon as Arthur corrected himself, he wanted to go back to say all the things that refused to come from his mouth. How he had been scared because of Merlin…how he was scared for his consort even now because it sounded as if he would try again if given the chance. But those emotions were too deep and too complex for Arthur to get into. And Gwen…Guinevere was most likely the one topic that was-ironically-easier to get into. It was something that would reignite the anger and frustration. Which was what Arthur wanted. He wanted to sink into the warmth he knew was Merlin, instead of being shoved further and further away from his consort.
"…This isn't the first time you have mentioned Gwen. I want to know why you are so fixated on her? It's not like she's ever did anything to you." Merlin said bluntly, rising to the bait that was his friend's name. But Arthur had to wonder…surely Merlin was not that stupid. Surely somebody with his kind of…experience …knew when somebody else was being left outside to rot. The prince had literally told Merlin he was 'his' seconds ago. Surely that fact alone would have Merlin understanding why the blond didn't want just anybody-or anybody at all-to lay lips upon the flesh Merlin called his skin. But as if reading his mind, the boy continued speaking, "And if you're upset because it was me…you don't have that right. Were you not the one that once told me it was okay for me to go out with other men, as long as I'd been discreet about it? Kissing somebody in my own chamber is about as discreet as I can get."
There was the pause of a heartbeat and then another and then another, where Arthur tried to work that through his mind. But it took far too long for Arthur to remember when that particular conversation had taken place…he'd almost wanted to deny this at first. Handing Merlin off to whoever wanted a piece of him…it hadn't even sounded like him. But it had also rang a cord in him until he could place it…it had been eons ago, or that was what it felt like. Back when the plague had been big. When the prince had first found out about Guinevere giving his consort a stupid little flower…the flowers Arthur had brought were much larger and more elaborate than that had been, he was pleased to note. But anyway…Arthur had been going through all of his own stuff, trying to figure out how Merlin was going to fit into things when Arthur needed to start thinking about things like future heirs for the throne. And so Arthur had suggested he'd go out and do whatever thing he wanted as long as his name wasn't run through the mud. He'd even thrown Gwen's name into the mix as some kind of offering, because Merlin's whole gayness had terrified him. And he'd wanted Merlin to try and not 'be gay' by being with a woman instead.
Arthur had changed his mind before he had even walked away from that conversion. His possessiveness over Merlin only just started to grow into the seriousness that it was today.
He hadn't expected Merlin to ever take him up on it.
Nor had he expected for Merlin to try throwing back in his face words he had never meant to say.
"Well maybe I've changed my mind? Have you ever considered I didn't like the idea of seeing you with somebody else? Her, of all people? Who I've warned you against time and time again…have you ever considered the fact that I don't want you trying to be with anybody! It's…it's…" Arthur trailed off whenever he realized he was starting to get too close into all the emotional territory he had just been trying to avoid. He couldn't allow for Merlin to know how much Arthur wanted him. How much he'd want for nothing more than to exterminate every last person in the world who had touched or kiss or looked at his consort. He would even start with Gwen, if he thought he'd get away with it all. But Merlin simply scoffed, not impressed with Arthur or his obsessive need to keep Merlin exactly where he wanted him to be. But that scoff only brought Arthur's attention right back to Merlin's lips. Pink and wet and…the question flew out Arthur's mouth before he had the chance to think twice about it. "Were you liking it? Gwen's kiss…did you like the way she kissed you just now?"
For the first time since Merlin noticed Arthur in the room, the consort actually looked startled. Blinking at him like this deer that had just been caught in the underbrush and had became surrounded by hunters before they knew what happened. The prince watched as Merlin lifted up one of his fingers-hand was so large, but fingers so slim it was impossible to take his eyes away-and pressed them against his bottom lip. As if he started to remember the intimate kiss he and Gwen had shared, Arthur almost whimpered. Seeing the clash between the white pale of Merlin's fingertips, and the pink lip jutting out, just begging to be bitten on by a proper gentleman. And as Merlin wiped one of his long digits across his bottom lips, Arthur had to resist an urge to catch those fingers between his own. Resist an urge to pull Merlin's fingertips up to his own lips, and make him watch as Arthur swirled his tongue around each and every one of the digits. Marking them as his own. Claiming them. Erasing all the residue salvia left behind by Gwen that Merlin was transferring from his lips to fingertips.
"…You're seriously asking me if I liked her kissing me? If I liked her getting into my space and putting her lips against my own before I was even awake enough to know what was going on…I just woke up, damn it Arthur!" Merlin exclaimed loudly, yanking his fingers away from his lips. But the only thing Arthur could do was stare at the flash of white teeth he'd seen when Merlin had been yelling at him. Merlin could have been cursing Arthur out in a dozen foreign languages, each one worse than the last of them. And Arthur would still be awestruck by what came out of him. "Do you EVER hear yourself when you speak? I should think even you would have realized Gwen's not exactly my type of kissing partner. Or do you really tune me out when I talk like I think you do?"
Arthur blinked rapidly, trying to work his way around that…was it really possible for Merlin to not realize just how focused he'd been on Merlin ever since he walked into his life? Arthur could have sworn he'd told Merlin before how he remembered each and every one of their interactions as if it had been engraved into the back of his hand. Easy to flip through for Arthur's own perverse viewing. But maybe he hadn't told him at all or maybe Merlin was underestimating just how serious Arthur's claims of 'mine' were. Underestimating the obsessive gene only Merlin'd ever awoken inside of him. But no matter, the prince thought in an undercurrent of sadistic pleasure, he would drill that fact in Merlin's head if he had to bash his skull open, stamp that kind of information onto his brain, and fix him back up as if nothing had ever happened.
Right here, and right now.
"Merlin," Arthur drawled out slowly, deliberately slow, curling his tongue around the letters as if he was caressing them with his hands. And he waited till Merlin's gaze returned back onto him before he took a seat. Sitting deliberately close to Merlin's waist, pressing his thigh against the consort's hipbone in order to feel his warmth. And Merlin seized up, jolting himself up and pressing himself against the headboard as if he was trying his hardest to get away. But too physical weak from the remnants of his illness to get very far from him. But Arthur half expected to have that reaction come from him, and he reacted with the same expectations. Arthur's hand darted out and he grabbed onto Merlin's chin, holding him into place. Finally-blissfully-he was able to press his blistered fingers into the smooth silk that was Merlin. Arthur could see the fear in Merlin's eyes, and the prince almost felt guilty about it, knowing some of the things he did now. But-as his eyes wondered over Merlin's bruised up face-not so guilty as to release him without him knowing what he needed to know. "I don't think you understand some things yourself. You say I don't hear myself talk, and maybe that can be true. But that's simply because I can't stop listening to any thing you're saying. I told you that you were mine only minutes ago, and you acted angry but seemed to dismiss it in the next second. I don't want you to dismiss it, Merlin. I want you to be able to know and feel and think the way that I do. I want you to know that you belong to me. And Gwen or whoever else you've got waiting in the wings aren't going to take you from me. I do mean death do us part is very quite literal when it comes up between us, and to be honest…I think I would chase you into the afterlife if you did try something as foolish as taking your own life again. Not even death will get rid of me so easily. Do you understand me now, my Merlin?"
This was probably the closest Arthur had ever been to talking about his feelings…he had been so dead set against it earlier, but it felt almost a relief to get them out now. And seeing the look on his consort's face…admitting a few things might have actually been worth it. The way Merlin's eyes were popping out of his head, so blue and vivid in the stream of light…the fear in them abating only enough for cold shock to come to the front. The shock of red coloring blooming across Merlin's throat and up his face…Arthur's mouth watered at the flush of color. And all he wanted to do was bathe in the redness of Merlin's skin, the awful bruising becoming more vivid in contrast to it…and it was so tempting to try taking some of that color and sliding it across his own skin. Leaving the flush color across Arthur and his biceps and stomach and legs, until Merlin had managed to throughly claim him as much as Arthur had claimed him. And by the gods…those fucking perfect lips of Merlin's. The gap in-between his lips that had fallen open with his stunned shock…it as a beauty like no other. Arthur could have pressed into the gap, slid his knuckle between Merlin's teeth and wait until the other boy started gnawing of him. Leaving little teeth marks or indentions that Arthur could carry with him always, little scars to remind Arthur of the moment Merlin finally understood. And understood the consort did, Arthur thought with his half lidded eyes focused surely on Merlin's lips. Arthur deliberately forced a harsh blistered finger along Merlin's jawbone, watching with fascination as the boy shivered from the roughness, and tried leaning back. As if he wasn't as affected by all of this as Arthur was.
Arthur only followed him, scooting himself further up the bed so Merlin was half trapped by the headboard. Trying so hard to become one with him, as all reasonable thought seemed to be escaping him under Merlin's beauty, "Now…I am going to ask a question, just one. And I want you to answer me as honestly as you can, do you understand me?" Arthur asked his boy in a low and seductive rumble. His thumb inching up, so tempted to do what he wanted and push his fingers into Merlin's mouth. One or two or even three, until Merlin was gagging with it, unable to feel anything other than Arthur, Arthur, Arthur. But he didn't as he actually wanted to hear what Merlin had to say. Though the prince did wait until-after a few moments-Merlin shakily shook his head yes. Looking as if he was unable to speak, looking as if Arthur had raptured him as much as Arthur was, before the prince finally said in the same low murmur. "What exactly will your type be? If not Gwen, then who? Who do you want to be near? To touch…to take…to own you, if you are not satisfied to be mine?"
Merlin didn't answer him for the longest time, only flapping his lips up and down in wordless abandonment. But that was okay, Arthur decided, he knew it must take a hot minute for Merlin to get his thoughts in order. Only heaven knows Arthur needed to do the same before he spoke to Merlin, something he'd never quite managed to do when in his presence, compared towards literally any other person. In the meantime though, Arthur took the time to re-familiarize himself with Merlin's features…things had been happening so fast. Too fast, some might say, leading them to where they are now. Arthur'd been so caught up with this horrid Guinevere debate, and with making sure Merlin did know who he belonged too…he had hardly taken a moment to see Merlin.
Alive.
Breathing.
Well.
Because of Him!
If that didn't make a man feel good about himself, then Arthur wouldn't know what did.
But there was this little stubborn tuff of hair hanging into his consort's eyes. Just a small piece stuck down with dried sweat and slicked skin, but Arthur Pendragon wanted nothing more than brush it aside with his fingertips. So he could see more of Merlin, more of the Merlin trying to hide from him. Leaving him vulnerable only to Arthur…but if he did that, he would have no choice other than to let Merlin's chin go. And that was the one sacrifice he wasn't prepared to make. Not if it gave Merlin the chance to try and leave him again. That beautifully curled tuff of hair would have to stay…it was almost, dare he say it…it was almost endearing.
"Arthur-" Merlin finally breathed out through parted lips and he did not think his name had ever sounded lovelier than the way Merlin said it. And Arthur watched in fascination as Merlin was lifting up his hands-they were shaking, he noticed. The prince knew it was probably his fears making him shake, but he liked to think it was the anticipation. Maybe Merlin wanted to touch him as Arthur wanted to touch Him. Those fingers curled over his hand on Merlin's chin, and it looked as if he would have no choice other than to move his hand away anyway. But the man allowed it…Arthur was too awestruck by the way those hands looked around his own. Arthur was a much broader man than his consort was, and their hands reflected that. It took both of Merlin's to wrap around his own, and Merlin slowly lowered his hand down so that it rested somewhere between them. Merlin started speaking again in an overly cautious tone, as if he was scared he was going to poke a bear, but Arthur was too gone on Merlin's hands to notice, "You might think you own me, or it might be just kind of sick game of yours. But nobody owns me, not even you. Not really. For somebody to own me…I'd have to give myself over to them willingly. And that…that's something I can't see myself doing in the immediate future. Maybe…maybe not ever. Especially not if it's you we're talking about."
Arthur's head popped back up, focusing sorely on Merlin and his luscious face this time…for a second, he could've sworn a sound of shattering glass accompanied him. Something in him splintering and breaking up…his hand grew tight in-between Merlin's palms, but he didn't dare try to remove it either. His consort had sounded…sad. Soft. As he spoke of never being able to allow somebody to claim him. Had Arthur done that…is he the reason Merlin won't allow anybody to become close to him? Why he sought out physical pleasure with so many other people…because he didn't want to stand the chance of being hurt again? Because Arthur had hurt him…he'd hurt him. But it didn't mean they couldn't start over, right? It didn't mean that he and Merlin couldn't start over on a fresh slate, right? Arthur had tried so hard to push Merlin away all this time. And now he was trying to pull Merlin closer, claim him somewhat properly…why wouldn't Merlin want that?
Merlin still hadn't answered his question though, about exactly what type of person he would want to claim him. Because if he knew that much…then maybe Arthur could do something with that…change himself a little to match whatever it was that the other boy wanted. As long as it wasn't something outrageous, something that would be a massive personality change and be the raise of many eyebrows from others…then Arthur would be able to do it. As long as Merlin stopped doing this foolish kind of protesting and admit that he was Arthur's. Because Arthur would accept no other. Even if god forbid, Arthur did end up married to another many years from now…he would never be able to claim them as he was trying to claim Merlin. Not ever.
But before Arthur could dare to ask his questions…why could he not give himself over to Arthur willingly? Why would he not even give Arthur the chance to show him how great things was going to be from now on…tell him that this was anything but a sick game meant only for his entertainment. He was serious in wanting Merlin to belong to him, even if he himself was unable to say for certain what that would entail…Merlin had started to speak again, pushing Arthur's hand forward so that it was now in his own lap and letting go. Leaving Arthur despondent with this silent 'fuck you.'
"And as for what my type of partner would be…I'm not entirely certain on that front. I've thought about it somewhat, the last few weeks especially. But I don't really think I know what kind of answer I want to give. I just know…" Merlin trailed off softly, his eyebrows coming together in the center of his forehead as he leaned forward. Arthur leaned forward in response, he may not be allowed to touch Merlin, but he could stare at him. That was the one thing Merlin couldn't take from him. "That anyone I choose to give myself over to…they won't be one damn thing like you. Hell-" Merlin leaned backward again, his back being pressed once again against the headboard. "Perhaps I will do something crazy to make sure they aren't you. Like giving up on men entirely. You give our entire gender a bad name."
Arthur felt his entire world turning on its axis by this response, something that seemed to be happening to him a lot lately. It seemed as if the world was entirely full of surprises…far more than Arthur could have anticipated. With the poisoning, all the facts he'd learned about Merlin when it first happened, then it was happening again…with this! The way Merlin had said he'd choose somebody not like Arthur…the way he wanted to give up men entirely because of Arthur…Arthur actually would have been pleased about that. No more wondering who his consort was off having sex with when he was out of sign. He wouldn't have to look at his knights anymore, and wonder if they were one of the ones who'd seen his consort naked. Spread out in all his glory, with no shame as he seduced them into sin. Even now, his consort was lounging against the headboard as if he was nothing more than a house cat. Ready to sleep away all of his days while Arthur's day took a turn for the worse…he could not get past the way Merlin had made it sound as if he would switch over to women. Because if Merlin was going to give up on men…what other option did he have other than women?
Because surely Merlin didn't intend to stay by himself…forever.
That sounded like such a rueful existence, if one asked Arthur Pendragon.
"I thought you liked men!" Arthur hissed harshly, and unable to sit there while Merlin told him these lies, he jumped straight to his feet. It jostled the bed for a moment, and Merlin had to get his balance back by grabbing onto the edge before he flipped over. But Arthur hardly cared…he felt scorned and tossed off to the side. So what if he didn't know much about how all this 'gay thing' worked. But he had thought he had at least a pretty good handle on it from the few things Merlin had taught him of the subject. Or yelled at him, was a better word. For as long as their marriage had been, the one that Arthur had known as this sole fact about his consort-something that never changed and shifted his perspective on Merlin-was that he was gay. And the consort then goes and changes up the rules…he couldn't just do that to him! And that's exactly what he told him, "You can't change things now! You're gay! That means you like men! You don't just get to switch to women whenever you damn well feel like it!"
Merlin rolled his eyes at him, looking as if he thought Arthur as ridiculous. But Arthur didn't care if he looked like a madman. It would even be something he would do in public, as long as the other boy didn't change who he was. Arthur couldn't even say for sure why it bothered him so much…things would be easy if Merlin was into women. That was actually something they may have been able to talk about! Which girls would look as if they fit best on their arms…but Arthur had this hard time imagining 'any' woman on Merlin's arm. He found it difficult to imagine a 'man' on Merlin's arm, but at least that was half expected now -a-days. A woman…not so much. And it gnawed deeply under his skin…the idea that he might have 'turned Merlin straight'…it was unthinkable. And scary. And such a change would surely change Merlin into somebody else…somebody that wasn't the Merlin he had came to know.
"You don't get to tell me who I can and who I can't like, Arthur. That is the one thing you won't be able to take from me. I can decide for myself what I like, and if it's women, then there isn't one thing you can do about it." Merlin said, his legs curling up beneath his chin, his arms loosely wrapping around his knees as he deliberately turned his head to look away from Arthur. It left Arthur's throat convulsing, and all he wanted to do was go and scream 'WHY!' Why shouldn't he get a say in what or who Merlin liked? Why didn't he get a say in what form Merlin may find more pleasing to the eye. Arthur had already tried his best to decide everything else, so why should this be any different than that? But Merlin continued speaking again, "Besides, my luck with men is clearly poor. I have absolutely no taste. I was not telling you I was going to go for women, because if you'd been listening to me, I told you once that people don't get to change what they are. You're either gay or something else…it doesn't mean I can't try my hand at a girl. Perhaps I'll make a new friend if things don't work out…so I suppose I should be thanking you for at least giving me the idea."
Arthur could feel his heart thumping unsteadily in his chest…he didn't want to give Merlin ideas! Not if it meant he had just opened up Merlin's playing field for more and more people to get into his pants. Good god, what Arthur would have given to have Merlin's stupid crush on him come back. At least the only thing Arthur would have to worry about was Merlin's behavior towards him. Instead of now having to look at every woman in suspicion, wondering if a day would come where one of them would approach the crown and claim Merlin had gotten them pregnant or something. If anything, Arthur was supposed to be the one to get someone pregnant…for an heir. Not Merlin, who decided pressing himself into a woman more interesting than a man pressing into him…
"But you've never done that before! You might hurt a woman if you don't know what you're doing. They're so dainty and…" the prince trailed off when he saw Merlin was just looking at him. It caused Arthur to bite down on his lip roughly…it wasn't like his consort would find anything permanent with a woman. He'd be a slut for them like he was with the men. But Arthur found that the uncertainty freaked him out. Women were for marriage and children and permanence. Something Merlin should never get himself involved with. Not when he had Arthur standing right in front of him. He was a bloody prince! What woman could try to catch his eye when Arthur was so much more. He was literally every person's type…so why would Merlin choose women even when Arthur knew he wasn't really interested in them. "I forbid it Merlin! Do you have absolutely any idea what I will do to you if I find out you've been trying to engage with a woman! You're not going to bed one, do you understand me!"
Arthur could feel the blood running hot in his veins, his hands in tight little fists at his sides. And he could see the pink color splotching up Merlin's face again, embarrassed by Arthur and his choice of words. But Arthur didn't care, he refused to be in fear of every woman who walked into their lives. Refused to be twice as paranoid with people who shouldn't even be a part of this little thing he and Merlin had going on. Merlin said there's no changing what he was! Bloody GAY! And Arthur refused to be the reason Merlin decided to have a little experimentation phase just because Merlin wanted to get back at him for every little thing he's done. Arthur himself would get down onto his knees like a bloody guard dog at Merlin's side and fucking rip into anything with a dress that tried to get close to Merlin. He couldn't fucking do that though, because…women. They were not the same as men. So dainty and fragile…a woman wouldn't even know how to handle somebody like Merlin. Not like Arthur would know how to handle him…
"I said I might get a new friend! Where did you get me bedding them from! Taking somebody out for a picnic or walk along the trails in the woods hardly means I'm going to try and get into a woman's skirts! I'm not ready for the responsibility that would come from a union like that!" Merlin exclaimed loudly, pulling his knees closer to his chest as if he was trying to get a little bit of protection from Arthur's ire. But Arthur hardly cared…he knew there had to be a way to show Merlin women wouldn't be a good idea for him. Even if Merlin wasn't interested in trying to bed one, how long would it before one of these 'outings' he was talking about, turned into an experimentation. How long is it going to be before a woman tried slipping her hands into the gap between Merlin's legs, encouraging him to try her out like some kind of feast being prepared. Would Merlin try it out just to get back at Arthur, or would he turn her down because he really was certain about how gayness…Arthur didn't want to find out. "But even if I wanted to do something, you don't have a right to try and forbid me. Maybe I want somebody who'd be more caring and more passionate towards things other than a temper they can't seem to control."
Arthur's blood ran hotter and hotter, until he could feel all the growing thickness of it coursing through his veins like the rush along a riverbed. Staring at Merlin who had again turned away from him after his pointed comment about Arthur and the huge temper he never could quite control. Not when it came toward Merlin…not when his claim to his Owned was being challenged like it was. And he didn't want to contain it…he wanted to let it out. To do something that was so outrageous and crazy…make sure his consort would never be able to deny his attraction to men. Not in this lifetime. Not when Arthur Bloody Pendragon stood in front of him…
"Passion…you want bloody passion…" Arthur hissed toward his lovely little consort harshly. And Merlin seemed able to realize something was very much wrong, because he turned back and looked at him. His mouth parting a little when he saw Arthur's hands shaking from how mad he was. There was a fire roaring inside of Arthur, a thumping in his eardrums he couldn't quite escape from no matter how hard he tried. And there was the moment where the fire wanted to take over him…and Arthur could feel himself giving in. Allowing the fire to control him in a way he never would have allowed if he was in his right state of mind. "I'll show you some bloody fucking passion!"
There has always been some kind of tension laying in-between the two of them, some kind of hot and heavy air that's always hovered around them. Something Arthur had denied, but was able to see it had been there since the day they met. But there were some things that have changed in the last few months of torment, and Arthur had been man enough to admit that kind of tension existed. Even if it was only in the deep recesses of his own mind. But there had also been the unspoken line in the sand, a line Arthur himself had forcibly drawn and his consort hadn't dared tried to step over it. Not since Merlin had given a favor to him, and Arthur had rejected it. But today was the day, the day Arthur threw himself headfirst straight over that line as he no longer thought of the consequences of what his actions might be.
Something drastic was needed to prove to Merlin where it was his romantic entanglements laid…and Arthur was the man who was going to show Merlin no woman could ever give to him the kind of attentions a boy like him needed. Something drastic to prove he was exactly who he needed to be, and he wouldn't be allowed to change it. Not unless that change would include not sleeping with men as well…but one issue at a time. Proving to Merlin that women would never be his cup of tea. Arthur didn't care how many times he would need to kiss Merlin to prove it to him. Prove Arthur was the only man he would ever need.
Because that was exactly what Arthur did.
He fucking kissed Merlin Pendragon.
And it was the easiest damn thing he had ever did.
Easier than breathing. Easier than drinking. Easier than living.
Arthur didn't even know how it happened at first. There would be very little thought involved in Arthur's decision making. But once it was happening, there was no stopping it. One minute is all it took for everything to come crashing down around Arthur and Merlin. One minute was all it took…and Arthur didn't stand by Merlin's bedside any longer. He was on top of it, with one of his knees perched beneath him to keep his balance. One hand was grabbing the top of the headboard for purchase, keeping him steady. While the other hand was on Merlin's face…all the dark bruises Arthur had once put there vaguely resembled his handprint. And now, Arthur had lined his fingers up with all the markings. Darkish curves pressed against real flesh. Beautiful, it was.
And Arthur nearly swallowed down the yelp Merlin made as the prince pressed him against the headboard, leaving no room for escape as Arthur seized Merlin's lips as his own. Claiming that which has fascinated him for longer than he was aware of. Him trying to become one with those perfect peach colored lips…it was his for the taking, as it should have always been. He didn't even care, in this moment, how many people had managed to taste these lips before him. He didn't care how many people in the world existed, who had memorized the curve of lips resting against their own. Didn't cared how many people had breathed in, and filled their lungs with the singe of lightening that Merlin carried in his scent, instead of the air they expected.
None of that mattered.
Because it was Arthur's turn to lay his claim.
And a claim it would be.
Arthur Pendragon did not think he had ever tasted anything so sweet in all his life. Did not think it was possible for something to have tasted as sweet as Merlin was, or that such sweetness could only come from the simple press of lips against lips. So much better than any dessert that had nourished Arthur in the past. So much sweeter than any sugary treat he'd been given as a child. Something so highly addictive that Arthur knew he could drown in this sweetness and would happily allow himself to be taken down. As long as he got to continue sampling this sweetness for hours to come. For days. Weeks. Years. Arthur did not care, he knew he would never tire of it even if it ended up being the only thing he tasted for the next eternity to come.
Arthur had never been a fan of reading romance novels, not at all like some of the noble women walking around. But Morgana had gone through a bit of a phase in her teenage years, and he had caught her reading one once or twice, though she tried to keep it to herself like an embarrassingly little secret. He'd been curious and picked one up when he had found it abandoned on her bedside table one afternoon when he'd been trying to find her. The page Morgana had left it on had been about the girl in the story feeling a 'spark' in her center when the man decided to kiss her during their courtship despite it not being a proper time for a first kiss. Something about…a spark rendering her to be complete helpless to her man's advances, leaving her to be like putty in his hands.
Now, Arthur didn't know how much of that was true in the real world, he had certainly never felt a spark when he had kissed somebody. He wasn't even sure he felt it now. But he did feel something…something shifting. Like molted lava coursing into his veins, encouraging him to take more than Merlin would give him on his own. Something was breaking inside Arthur-and the prince tightened his grip on Merlin's cheek in order to press so much closer, their chests only far enough a part a slim piece of parchment could have been the only thing to fit-and it was this very distinct something. Though loathe as Arthur was to admit he didn't know exactly what it was, he knew it was something that had been distinctly absent when they had shared that first kiss on their wedding day. If Arthur had felt this, then…god…he might have actually gone through with their wedding night like he had been supposed too.
But there was something that upset Arthur about the kiss.
And surprisingly, it wasn't because Merlin was a man.
The most upsetting was Merlin's lack of participation. Sure, he could feel Merlin underneath his hand. Could feel the warmth of his face, could feel the sweetness underneath his lips as he erased whatever Guinevere might have done in her kiss to give Merlin the foolish thought of participating in sin with women of loose morals. But Merlin had seized up the second Arthur had grabbed onto him, and now that they were kissing…it might as well have been kissing a statue. Arthur didn't want the woman in the novel he had stolen from Morgana, molding like putty to a man's advances.
He wanted active participation.
He wanted to know he was doing this the right way.
That Merlin really was enjoying what he was doing.
He had never kissed a man before, but surely it wasn't much different than kissing a woman. A pair of lips was a pair of lips, right? With the added benefit of Merlin not wearing the gloss a woman always insisted on, leaving her lips a sticky mess. And forced Arthur to check himself to make sure she didn't leave a residue behind on his person when they parted. But Merlin did nothing to encourage Merlin, entire body so stiff beneath him, it was impossible for doubt to not settle in.
And Arthur didn't handle doubt very well.
Especially since he doubted Merlin behaved this way when his other partners engaged him like this.
Usually, when Arthur wanted to deepen a kiss, he opened up his mouth a little wider and let his tongue slither out to play on his partners. He was usually met with a very eager response…the opening of lips so Arthur could do more. But when Arthur darted his tongue out, he was met with resistance. His tongue hitting against the sharp and thin press of Merlin's lips, being so defiant in their refusal to open for him. Arthur scrunched up his face, his hand curling around Merlin's cheek until he could feel his nails pressing against the sharpness of what his lovely consort called his cheekbone. He didn't kiss Merlin just to be met with resistance or defiance. He hadn't kissed Merlin to be turned away before he got through the gate that was his lips…
He did this.
He was going all the way with it.
Arthur licked this long strip along Merlin's bottom lip. This was a silent request for Merlin to open and allow him inside, unable to pull himself away and be daring enough to ask Merlin to do it verbally. The use of words would only break the spell that he knew had fallen over him…perhaps Merlin himself had cast this spell on him, his very presence a dangerous burst of magic the prince knew wasn't actually there…and he wasn't ready for any of the real world to come rushing back to him. Wasn't ready to face what he knew would come once the heat had vanished…it didn't yield no results though. Merlin still didn't open his lips to him, and all Arthur got was the burst of sweetness covering up his tongue. Coating it in sweetness like chocolate truffles.
A low growl rumbled from deep in Arthur's throat, and he felt it reverberate from his body and into Merlin's. But still, the other boy gave no indication that he knew he was being kissed at all. And Arthur was a prideful and greedy man, he would not stand for his advances being spurned like this. And so he licked once more. A heavy lick across Merlin's bottom lip, giving him just a single chance more to open up and let Arthur show him he was a good kisser. Better than any that had came before him. All he got for his troubles was more sweetness bursting like fire right along his tongue. Which wasn't entirely a bad trade off…if he'd not been so dead set on proving something to Merlin, he might have been content with this. Content to lick Merlin's lips like he was licking the juices of strawberries from his fingertips when it dribbled down him in a wet mess as he attempted to eat.
Eat Merlin…
That was what he wanted.
And the beast inside him was not satisfied with just feeling all the little curves and indentions Merlin had left behind during one of his ill-advised 'I'm gonna chew my lips raw and bloody and slowly drive my husband insane with madness' sessions he'd been so fond of not that long ago. Which was why Arthur let go of Merlin's cheek, though he didn't dare stop touching the silky softness of his skin….how was it even possible for a peasant boy who didn't even use the Royal soaps and lotions he would have been given if he stayed where he was supposed to stay-in the Royal suite-be so soft. It was a mystery, but one Arthur didn't stay on for long. Trailing his fingertips up Merlin's face, past the curve of his squeezed shut eyes, licking harshly on his lips as if he thought they would open up for him now…
Arthur felt silky skin giving way to dark hair, the strands sliding through his fingers, just as smooth as its owner was. He licked again, moving his hand up until he found this particularly thick patch of hair resting on the curve of Merlin's skull. And this felt like the 'right' spot, Arthur decided, curling his fingers into the patch. Making sure he had a good and strong grip, something that was meant to control Merlin's movements when there was very little else Arthur could do to get Merlin to open up for him and his tongue, and…
He yanked as hard as he could, tight enough to feel some of the strands pulling free of Merlin's head. At the same time, he bit down as hard as he could on Merlin's bottom lip, making a few indentions of his own. His own teeth marks to accompany what Merlin had left on his own. Arthur felt more than he saw, the gasp of pain Merlin emitted, his lips curling into this tight smile against Merlin's lips. Because that gasp-like music to his ears, a symphony he never wanted to not hear-meant Merlin is open. Merlin's lips parting underneath Arthur's unwillingly, the pain of Arthur's attack too harsh to ignore.
Arthur took full advantage of the situation, his tongue darting out of his mouth before Merlin had the chance to close his lips back and try denying him entrance. He breathed deeply into Merlin's mouth, nearly dizzy because what little bit of oxygen he got breathing through his nose was not nearly enough, and his lungs burned with a desperate need for air. But he needed Merlin far more than he needed breath, and he had just gotten his desired goal…a little thing like air wasn't going to stop him from mapping out Merlin's mouth like he had always imagined doing if he was ever forced to kiss Merlin for real…
Like now.
Because this was real.
And there was no stopping it, as his fingers curled again in this one spot of hair, forcing Merlin to angle his head differently…it gave Arthur more space to work with. His tongue roaming and tracing the hot walls of Merlin's inner cheeks…if Arthur would think Merlin's skin was soft. And his hair was all smooth. It had absolutely nothing on how completely divine his consort's little insides were. Even Merlin's teeth were fascinating to trace his tongue along, trying to map out any little nooks or crannies the prince wouldn't have otherwise known was there if he had just been 'looking' at Merlin.
This…Arthur thought as he breathed in through his nose deep once again…this was so much better than anything he could've imagined. So much better than just staring and wondering why other people would want to kiss Merlin…Arthur thought he may finally understand why now. It would be impossible not to look at Merlin after this and imagine his body shaking beneath him, impossible not to imagine the taste of his sweetness now that he had the taste on his tongue, impossible to not imagine the punishing grip Arthur kept in Merlin's hair to keep him straight and nice for Arthur to play with.
But Arthur was even more greedy than he thought, and he still wasn't satisfied with his tongue slipping halfway down Merlin's throat. Because Merlin still wasn't participating. Not even after Arthur prodded his tongue with his own, trying to coax his little consort-his…his bratty little sweetheart-into some kind of play fight between tongues, did he move. Even when Arthur slid his tongue underneath Merlin's to make him move, it only flopped back down to the bottom of his mouth. A limp and dead thing in Merlin's mouth that wasn't interested in playing games…the prince growled again, displeased with the display Merlin gave to him.
This had gone far past proving to Merlin that men would be a far better choice for him. This has gone far past Arthur trying to erase whatever lingering touch Gwen might have left behind on his consort. This had gone far past just being desperate for Merlin to show him the proper attention he showed to all of his other men…this was a matter of pride. And knowing that this first kiss was what Merlin would measure up any future kisses against…Arthur moved himself up a bit more. He'd been only half sitting on the bed this entire time, but now he pulled his other leg up so he was sitting on both knees by Merlin's side.
Arthur's second hand had been gripping the headboard, but it was now that he moved it to join the party. Placing it snug and tight against the side of Merlin's throat…he wouldn't choke him though. Not this time. He simply rested it there and shoved his tongue deeper into the hot and moist cavern once again, when he couldn't get Merlin's tongue to move against him. He could feel it though, the way Merlin's pulse point in his neck felt like it was going crazy beneath his palm, fluttering like a mad little angel. Flapping its wings strong enough to cause a tornado in the next country over, all in order to get Arthur's attention on him…designed to fascinate Arthur all over again. As if he'd not already been drawn in by forces beyond his understanding…
And it was when Arthur's teeth grazed along Merlin's bottom lip once more, contemplating the idea of biting it again, leave a kiss mark embedded in the flesh for Merlin to remember them by, did he finally feel it. Merlin was starting to move against his body…at some point, Arthur had pressed too deeply and it had only shoved Merlin further down the bed. But now, Merlin was pushing up, trying to sit a bit higher, but all it did was move his lips against Arthur's. Press them together more firmly in a way Arthur couldn't have done with his own participation. And the prince could have sworn his eyes rolled straight into the back of his head in pure euphoric desire…if he had thought it good before. Then it was nothing compared to the fireworks going off in Arthur's chest when Merlin was wanting it as well…
No…
Arthur's instincts kicked in at the last second, his hand trying to memorize the beating of Merlin's pulse point flying upwards just in time to grab Merlin's wrist. The consort's palm open as wide as it could go, fingers spread out as if he had been trying to slap him. Any sane man would have taken this as a sign that he wasn't wanted. A sign that Merlin wanted him to get off and stop kissing him. Because a slap usually meant a man must've overstepped their bounds, rather they had realized it or not…it was too bad for Merlin, that Arthur was hardly a sane man.
And a possible slap only excited Arthur more, the very idea of Merlin trying to leave his own mark on Arthur…his own claim of Arthur's person…made him groan into Merlin's mouth again. It made Arthur press deeper into the kiss, licking along lips that had started to tremble now that Merlin had came out of what state of shock he must've been in. Arthur could forgive him for not participating earlier…it wasn't everyday his hated husband decided to kiss him. But now Merlin was squirming underneath him so deliciously, trying to jerk his head away-silly boy might need to breathe, but Arthur didn't want to stop…though maybe he could entertain himself with licking off the sweat glistening on Merlin's neck to give him a moment to inhale as much as he could before Arthur ultimately returned-and his hand wiggled restlessly in Arthur's grip. Trying to jerk himself free…
Arthur didn't explore Merlin's neck though, spreading his legs a bit more open to accommodate his larger body so he would not fall over with Merlin moving…god, his lips moving against Arthur's was absolutely delicious! If it was sweet before, it was practically chocolate coated deliciousness, though Arthur was hardly able to figure out when or where Merlin had eaten such a thing. Though perhaps that was simply Merlin's flavor…but it had nothing on what was going on between Arthur's legs. The thick cloth of Merlin's neckerchief was still folded into the front of his trousers, between his undergarments and his pants…the cloth scraped against him, sliding beneath him when he tried to move.
Arthur stiffened, slowed his kiss with Merlin just slightly. His…it just twitched. His cock had just twitched inside his pants and it was clearly because of the friction of Merlin's neckerchief that was forcibly rubbing against him. And that would probably the best excuse Arthur could have claimed for jerking away out of Merlin's embrace…but he didn't. He slowed the kiss down, but he didn't leave Merlin's lips entirely. Not even when he felt that cloth sliding further down, getting trapped beneath him, which caused his cock to be pushed up against his underwear. Snug and tight and…entirely inappropriate for a first kiss…
Merlin's limp wrist twisted in Arthur's hand again, reminding him of the boy beneath him. Reminding him of how small his consort was against his broader frame…his entire hand could be felt all around Merlin's wrist. And that was when the prince remembered how little his consort ate, and how that would be needing to be fixed. Fixed by him, with more of this-Arthur was thinking as he licked a little bit more slowly into Merlin's mouth to taste something other than just the heat of desperation. He could perhaps, do this more often. Maybe feed Merlin just like this…trading small sips of wine from Arthur's lips straight into Merlin's. Have Merlin fetch small pieces of grapes from where Arthur had them between his teeth…it would probably take at least a thousand grapes before Merlin even gained one single pound. Which meant it would take a million and more kisses to get Merlin to a weight Arthur found acceptable…could he kiss Merlin for that much? For that long?
He knew he could.
Arthur licked again, just as slowly as before, along the slicked muscle that was Merlin's still limp tongue. This was so fucking dirty…so naughty of Arthur to give into his baser urges like he were some kind of animal…wanting to trade food coated with their own salvia as they traded spit in what should have been grossing Arthur out. But it wasn't. Kissing Merlin almost felt as if it was kissing sin itself, knowing exactly how wrong it was for him to be doing this. Knowing what horrific things would have been said if the wrong person caught him in this position…he was too powerless to care though. Far too powerless to care of a single thing that might cause Arthur to miss hearing what the delicious sounds of Merlin's moan would be…
The burst of sudden pain, and the taste of blood erupting from between his lips, startled Arthur into jerking back with surprise and shock. He barely had enough time to register exactly what had just happened-Merlin bit him! Merlin bloody well bit Arthur on his tongue, hard enough to make the blood run wild, trying to gush and fill his mouth with the coppery taste. So much that he could have gagged on it. Why did Merlin hurting him, taking his claim on Arthur's body as Arthur had made a claim onto his own, make warmth shoot down his spine to gather in the base of his cock as the cloth rubbed against him tauntingly-before another burst of pain was rendering him speechless. Throwing him off the bed completely, where he landed with his limbs all spread out across the floor…Arthur looked up at the angel that sat on the bed before him, little hearts seemed to be forming in his eyes as Merlin cursed at him wildly, rubbing his knuckles to ease the pain.
Arthur's temple throbbed wildly in pain…
"WHAT THE BLOODY FUCKING HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE FUCKING DOING, ARTHUR PENDRAGON! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST…YOU CAN JUST…GO AROUND TO KISS PEOPLE LIKE THAT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER IN YOUR BLOODY HEAD!" Merlin was shrieking wildly, almost this touch of hysteria to it that soothed the ache in Arthur's head…his beloved had just punched him. His beloved had bitten him and then punched him in order to get him off. His beloved had taken matters into his own hands because clearly, Arthur had not done a good enough job at pleasing him. The prince was almost whimpering, blinking his eyes like a lost puppy would…he wanted to say he hadn't just gone up and kissed somebody in jest. He had kissed his husband. And he wanted to do it one more time…if only his dark angel would let him. If only his dark angel would give him one more chance to prove that he could please him. If he only had the chance to do it again, he knew he would make Merlin, the expert in all things to do with the male body, proud. "YOU MIGHT THINK I'M SOME BLOODY WHORE, BUT I REFUSE TO ALLOW YOU TO TREAT ME LIKE ONE!"
And just like that, Arthur's heart eyes seemed to shatter right before his eyes.
X
Merlin Pendragon choked, and he coughed, and he sputtered as soon as those words escaped his mouth. His could feel his entire body shaking from the aftermath and the shock of what had just happened. That had to have been the most vile thing he could have imagined…and to think, Merlin had wasted all of that time in the beginning of their marriage, wondering what it would be like to kiss Arthur properly. But now, he was actually grateful it had never happened when it had, he thought as he raised his arm to wipe off as much of the spit that clung to him like a second skin as he could. His lips were literally burning in pain from how hard Arthur had pressed against him, they were raw and almost puffy from where Arthur had bit him…do kisses usually include biting somebody? Sure, maybe a little scraping of teeth, Merlin couldn't see how that was unavoidable.
But a full on bite?
That was something Merlin could have never expected in all of his most wild imaginations. And for the first time in his life, the consort was actually scared to lick at him lips, just knowing his husband's taste was clinging to him. Merlin was unable to even try distinguishing the difference between what was him or was Arthur…he just knew he really wanted to brush his teeth. Try to get out the taste that clung to his teeth like some kind of awful sticky residue. But as Merlin wiped at his mouth again, sucking in copious amounts of air that the prince had been previously denying-how did people ever find it fun to kiss? With all of the spit and the closeness and being unable to breathe. None of it was how Merlin would have thought a kiss was meant to go-he was horrified to realize his eyes were stinging.
He was about to start crying.
About to start crying in front of Arthur.
But could anybody really blame Merlin for it? He couldn't even calm himself down, his breath hitching a little with what he just knew had to be hysterics building. Merlin even pressed on the soft meaty part of his hand with his eye, trying to will the sting of tears to go away. But he couldn't…Arthur's kiss had been so hard. It had been greedy and roughed, taking from Merlin that in which he did not want to give. His first proper kiss, because like it or not…Merlin couldn't keep pretending the kisses under his belt wasn't a real first kiss just because it wasn't the kind of kiss he wanted. And honestly? How many people ended up with their first kiss going how they wanted…
He just hadn't imagined his first kiss being taken from him.
Merlin had thought, even if it wasn't the ideal one he had in his head, that it would at least go different. Be gentle and sweetly done…Arthur didn't even ask Merlin if he wanted to kiss him or anything! He'd just dove in and done it…what made the prince even think Merlin would want to kiss him. Especially if he could not even give Merlin the basic human respect of 'asking'…how did anybody know somebody else wanted to kiss them if there was no asking. No verbal communication. No 'nothing' that will prove you probably won't get slapped at some point.
God…Merlin almost felt like the whore Arthur kept calling him.
Somebody who was used for the pleasure of people paying for their company.
Merlin's eyes were rimmed with red when he finally turned and looked at Arthur on the floor, his hands shaking violently in his lap. The prince seemed to be in a world entirely of his own and had brought his own shaking hand up to touch along his lip…it looked as puffy as Merlin felt his own was. And for what had to be the first time in a very long time…Merlin felt pure, complete, unadulterated hatred for another man. He more than hated the prince…he wanted to murder him. He wanted to lash out, have his magic rise up at his command and bash Arthur's body right up against the wall. Hearing his body as it cracked and broken down into pieces…leave Arthur in the same broken state Merlin had been in mentally.
How dare he…Merlin thought, as vicious as any mountain lion who had been disturbed from sleeping for what felt like years…Merlin felt awake for the first time in what could've been years or more. How dare he take something precious from me. Treat Merlin like he was one of those many girls who would go trying to throw themselves at him. Like Merlin was nothing other than a piece of meat meant to be strung up and played around with at Arthur's discretion. How dare he…more tears coated inside his eyes and he blinked rapidly to prevent them from flooding down his face.
He wouldn't let Arthur see him cry this time.
He refused to allow Arthur to see him cry this time..
"Who the hell do you think you are? Who the hell are you to try and touch me like that? Like we're…like we're…" Merlin's voice was harsher than the drop of an executioner's ax, swift enough to take Arthur's head clean off his body if he desired it. If only the world didn't look down on such crimes, but assault could go unnoticed. He couldn't even finish what he was struggling to say, his entire body quivering with the anger. They were not lovers…Arthur didn't have that right to kiss him! "I don't know what the ever loving hell you thought you were doing, but I will not be your whore. Find somebody else to test whatever weird desires you suddenly have for kissing, but it won't be with me."
Merlin would be damned if he ever allowed Arthur a chance or opportunity to catch him unaware like that again. He would not pretend to know why Arthur-the so claimed straight man who had attacked him in the streets like a common brawler-would even want to kiss him. He honestly wouldn't care what reasons Arthur would pull out his ass to try and excuse himself. He had known allowing Arthur to stay and get this fight over with was a bad idea, but this had flown completely over what would be 'bad idea' territory. But even now, Merlin glanced towards the door wondering if his uncle might have heard him screaming if he had stayed on the other side of the door like he said he was going too. But the door stayed stubbornly shut…Merlin turned his gaze back onto Arthur.
And his glare sharpened.
No matter.
He could handle Arthur fucking Pendragon.
If it was going to be the bloody last thing he did, he was going to handle Arthur fucking Pendragon.
"What…what…" Arthur blinked rapidly, jerking his hand away from his puffy lips, as if he had been caught doing something truly wrong. And Merlin's lip lifted into a dangerous snarl, one of his canine's looking more sharp than it usually would in the light, in response to his rapidly growing fury. Not even seeing the growing bruise right above Arthur's temple was enough to calm him down. Merlin's knuckles were violently red…he's sure Arthur was probably regretting the day he'd taught him how to throw a real punch. On that day so many months ago, on their very first outing together…when Arthur had dragged him out to help him train for the tourney. He would have had more than a few busted knuckles, he would have a broken thumb if he had been punching with his thumb tucked away inside his fist like he'd been doing. But Arthur must have finally registered what Merlin was shrieking at him about, because the panic and the clarity made way to his eyes, the prince pushed himself up so he was sitting higher, "I wasn't trying to treat you like a…like a whore! I just…I mean I…I'm your bloody husband! Don't I have to do this when you come back from the dead!"
But Merlin's sharp growl and eyes narrowing into these sharp slits made him go quiet again. He couldn't…Merlin didn't want to believe what he was bloody hearing! Arthur had sounded as if he didn't know what to say at first, but then screamed about being his husband as if it was the perfect excuse for what he'd done. Yes, Merlin was his bloody husband. But Merlin wouldn't be His…ever. It struck him as being too similar to when Arthur had said he 'owned him'. As if somebody could truly own him…it had made him feel like nothing more than a dirty mutt when Arthur had grabbed his chin and tried impressing on him how much Arthur 'owned' him. Fucking bastard…he was lucky the only thing Merlin had done was hit him. Fucking lucky Merlin didn't forget caution and the lessons drilled into his head from birth and just did away with him right now. If anybody living in this world deserved such a fate…it would have been Arthur.
"Oh, you're my bloody husband, are you? I'm so sorry, I must have bloody well missed that at some point. What, with all the abuse you've given me over the last few months!" Merlin was sneering, and he took a sadistic pleasure out of watching his 'husband' flinch at being called out for the abusive bastard he was. But Merlin wasn't done…his lips were still burning due to the kiss, igniting the flood of anger that wanted to control him. "You do not get to kiss me, Arthur Pendragon! Do you bloody understand me!" He punched the bed with his fist, and Arthur flinched again, though Merlin was positive this time it was due to Merlin mentioning the kiss. Arthur was ashamed, even he'd been able to tell that one. But ashamed be damned, he'd only been ashamed because his advances weren't welcomed, and Merlin wasn't ever planning on allowing Arthur to forget such a major violation of his being. "You don't get to kiss me, act like it was a bloody chore to do so, and then act like I should have been bloody grateful for you finally doing your own 'husbandly duties' or whatever the crap made you think you could pull off something like that!"
And Merlin watched as Arthur looked around frantically…for a hot second there, Merlin had been positive that Arthur would run away. Like a fucking coward, a dog with its tail tucked right between its legs because it couldn't handle being confronted like this. Never mind all the times Merlin had been confronted just like this in the past. With screaming and accusations and only god knows what else would happen before they both left this room. But Arthur didn't run away. Instead, he let loose this shaky breath and rose to his feet, shifting uncomfortably as if there was something wrong with his pants. But Merlin gritted his teeth down and stood up on the bed, refusing to allow the prince to get the upper hand by standing over him. It creaked underneath him ominously and it was very likely going to fall in if he stood on it for very long, but he didn't bloody care. Not as long as he didn't give Arthur the chance to try and jump on top of him again. He didn't 'know' Arthur. Not the Arthur that'd go kissing him out of the blue like some wild maniac. He wouldn't take any chances on him trying to do it again.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. We just need to take a minute and…step back from this." Arthur said quickly, waving his arms in front of him as if that would somehow stop Merlin from shrieking about their kiss. But Merlin glowered at him and Arthur stopped, "Or not. We could definitely talk about it now…" but nobody said a word, Merlin's hands grew into tight little fists at his sides and Arthur finally brought a hand up to hide his face, while shaking his head roughly. Merlin could barely detect the muttered, "All of this is so messed up. How did I even get into this situation."
Merlin hissed like some kind of restless jungle cat, and Arthur flinched again at the sound. As if the next sound was going to end up with his downfall…Merlin wanted to tell Arthur exactly how they had gotten into this situation. Because he had gone and KISSED HIM! It couldn't have been any bloody clearer than that! If Arthur had never touched him, he could have gone and did whatever he did when he wasn't tormenting Merlin. But no, he had to stay. And he had to touch what would never be his…he had to KISS what would never be his. Arthur wouldn't get to take his first kiss from him, and then turn it around and do that thing where he laid the blame at Merlin's feet. He didn't ask to be assaulted. He didn't ask for Arthur to badmouth him every time they came in contact. He didn't ask for Arthur to beat him in the face just because he heard a few rumors. He also hadn't asked for all those times where Arthur had pinned him down to something, sparking his whole aversion to touch, which would also be something else Arthur had violated. He had TOUCHED him.
…But now, all those times Arthur had pinned him down felt like there was something sinister clinging to it.
How many opportunities had Arthur had to violate him like he'd gone and done?
How many times had Arthur been on top of him, in the perfect and prime position for bending down and kissing him.
How many times could Merlin have been assaulted by now, if Arthur hadn't been clinging so tightly onto his 'I'm straight'
card.
Merlin was the bloody victim here.
Always had been.
But not this time…not after what he'd done.
Never again.
"Look, just see here and let me explain." Arthur finally said, as if he thought he would say anything that would make Merlin go and see him as anything more than the vile snake he'd turned out to be. Worse than bloody Valiant he was, at least that man hadn't managed to land a kiss on him, unlike Arthur. But it was also clear to Merlin that Arthur didn't have any idea on how he was supposed to navigate the frigid waters they had gone and found themselves in. But Arthur cleared his throat roughly and tried to placate Merlin on the bed, "You really shouldn't be so upset about it. I mean…it's not a chore to…to…to kiss…to kiss you-" Merlin's eyes went into sharper slits, till there was only a silver of blue being seen. Was Arthur really so pathetic, that he couldn't even say the word 'kiss' without looking as if he might be covered in hives. He couldn't bloody well say it, but he sure could do it without issues. "I just mean…you are back from the dead! So that's a good thing, yeah? And I know…I do know that you wanted to kiss me a while back. So I simply thought…I may give you what you wanted. For saving my life from the poison and all that, you know?"
Arthur looked desperate, pleading with Merlin to just leave it at that and pretend it was nothing of importance. But Merlin only felt the rawness of his magic starting to swirl dangerously, and strong, in his veins. He could feel the darkness of his magic in a way he'd never felt it before…vengeful, it was. As if the blond prince was doing nothing more than digging his own grave for Merlin to bury him in. God, this strength and this power. It was hard to imagine how frozen Merlin had been minutes ago, how powerless he had been when a tongue had been being shoved down his throat. He couldn't even use his magic against Arthur but it felt comfortable, like having a companion that could help him against the threat that was Arthur.
"So, let me see, just to make sure I've understood this right." Merlin cooed down at Arthur in this sickly sweet voice, making the prince go ramrod straight. As if he knew he had struck this nerve within Merlin…like this genie coming out of some bottle and refusing to go back in, where it would be kept all nice and quiet. "So what you are really telling me is that you kissed me out of pity. You felt sorry that I almost died, and your amazing way of apologizing was to do THAT! And then you try to bring up that stupid boyhood crush I had on you months ago as the means to justify it. Is that what you are saying? That I should be grateful to have been dying because otherwise, you would not have kissed me? God. How narcissistic are you! To think I would 'want' to kiss you!"
And Merlin watched as Arthur's mouth popped open…awww. It looked as if the poor thing had never been rejected a day in his entire life before. But Merlin had fangs and he had claws and it would be his upmost pleasure to give Arthur his first rejection, something that should've happened long before Merlin walked into the picture. And speaking of walked…Merlin jumped off of the bed, his bare feet landing on the freezing cold floor under him and yet, he did not flinch. Not like Arthur, who immediately took a step back from him. Merlin didn't even care that he was standing in front of Arthur in just his dirty nightshirt and a pair of old underwear, short enough that only an inch of fabric was poking out from under his shirt. Showing off his shapely legs…Arthur had been right to try and get away. Because Merlin was on him in a heartbeat, shoving him as hard as he could against his chest.
Being the one to place 'his hands' on Arthur for a change.
"You unimaginative! Absolute bastard! Trying to use my crush against me! Is that really the best you could do!" Merlin threw himself into screaming at Arthur as loud as he could, his face growing red from his rage. And with each sentence he yelled, it was accompanied by a hard shove against Arthur's chest to knock him back a step. "That crush was nothing more than a boyhood fantasy when I was stupid and naive and thought we could actually work out. I-" shove "Am-" shove "not-" shove "stupid-" shove "anymore! I don't fucking like you! I don't want you! I don't want your money or your jewels or your crown and I don't want your stupid fucking kisses! I'm not that boy you'd met in the beginning! I'm not him anymore! Do you finally hear me Arthur Pendragon! I'M NOT HIM!"
As the last hysterical word burst from Merlin's lips, he gave the hardest shove against Arthur's chest as he could. And the man fell backwards, tripping over one of the benches. He slammed straight into the bookshelf behind him, crashing down onto the floor. And Merlin smiled twisted. It was a pure euphoric rush of strength that washed through him, accompanied by the sound of Arthur's yelling as he tried covering his head. Several thick volumes of books falling from the shelves and crashing down on top of him. When it was finally over, Arthur was left as the one looking up at Merlin…it made Merlin feel powerful-as if he was the one in charge-for the first time since he walked inside this godforsaken city.
"..Whatever residue feelings I might have had for you Arthur, the feelings you thought you could use against me…they don't exist anymore. You crushed them into dust beneath your feet and left me to rot. As if having feelings and emotions became a crime overnight." Merlin sniffed, before he carefully kneeled down in front of Arthur, drilling his eyes into Arthur's with the same penetrating and piercing stare Arthur was always giving to him. "You would have never treated me the way you have if I had kept those feelings to myself, would you? The second it all became real, you decided to lash out. But you have lashed out against me for the last time Arthur Pendragon. Whatever little feelings I might have had for you….they died the moment you hit me and then called me a whore."
And this was the moment Merlin decided…with Arthur looking up at him with parted lips, books in awful positions across his lap from where they had fallen after striking him in the head…he would burn this city to the ground. If Arthur Pendragon had the nerve to lay hands on him again. If he had the nerve to try kissing him again…Merlin would lay waste to an entire kingdom that tried to ruin him. He would bury his soul and do what had to be done to rid the earth of such horrid beings. And he'd be sure to make Arthur Pendragon his first victim.
