So, I recently learned why Caboose's Original VA got fired from Rooster Teeth. All I have to say is damn, people do change overtime. But I shouldn't waste my time thinking about that. I should always be focusing on the present.
Speaking of which, HAVE YOU ALL SEEN THE NEW TRAILER FOR THE NEW RED VS BLUE FINAL SEASON!? IT'S FUCKING INSANE! Though I can see some being less excited about all of this.
Now, I have a lot of ideas for this fanfic.
For now, let's just move on with this fanfiction, shall we?
Caboose's Guide to make Friends in Hell
Guide Four
More Friends!
Premise: I get to make more friends!
Somewhere within the Pride Ring, a certain overlord was writing on her desk. Her mind was currently occupied of something that occurred earlier on. It was something that her close friend had noticed. "Carmilla," Zestial spoke, grabbing her attention. "Thou been occupied with thy mind? What bothers thee?"
"It's nothing, Zestial." Carmilla assured her friend before resuming in her work. "Just reminiscing on what I did back in Extermination Day."
Her two daughters knew that she was thinking about what happened earlier. "I think you should tell him, mom." Clara suggested.
"No." Carmilla immediately responded back, causing Zestial to curiously look at her. "I am not interested in talking about that blue idiota. He's simply a hazard to that machine he bought from me."
"But he did pay with the weapons' schematics his "pet" gave to you, mom." Odette reminded her.
"I know," The Arms Dealer acknowledge before letting out a tiresome sigh. Without a second to waste, she looked at her close friend. "Zestial, I trust that you won't say this to the others', right?"
"Of course," The other Overlord said with a reassured tone.
That was good to hear. Carmilla began to tell the story about her encounter with that certain individual. "It all began two nights ago when he manage to enter to the warehouse…"
-Flashback-
Caboose had somehow entered into a dark warehouse after exiting the room of Charlie and Vaggie. He look around as if he went to the wrong destination. "This isn't the Bathroom Carlos told us, Freckles! You took us to the wrong direction!"
"MY APOLOGISE, CAPTAIN. THERE IS SOMETHING HERE THAT IS GREAT VALUE TO US." Freckles informed him.
"Uh…what…?!" Caboose spoke in total confusion before his eyes shifted into a certain object in the room. He gaped in surprised. "Oh my GOD!"
In the room stood a unactive HRUNTING/YGGDRASIL Mark IX Armor Defense System, or simply known as the Mantis. It is a Class Military Assault Droid that looked eerily similar to the one he found at the crash site back in Chorus. Yet, he can see a difference. There seemed to be white highlights throughout its body. Despite this, Caboose was so excited to find such a thing. He looked down at his rifle. "Freckles! You know what this means?! IT MEANS YOU HAVE A NEW AND BIGGER BODY NOW!"
"AFFIRMATIVE." His pet robot responded. "THAT WOULD BE GOOD TO HAVE ON OUR SIDE—"
"You have two minutes to explain yourself before I could silence you."
His pet robot stopped talking and Caboose immediately turned to where the voice came from. There, he saw the lights turn on and under it stood a very tall woman with fiery red eyes and metallic-ballet shoes that has similar colouring to the one seen in the unactive Mantis. Though the blue idiot didn't seem to be intimidated by this. "Oh, hi there, Miss Nice Mean Lady…?"
The woman narrowed her eyes at him. "It's Miss Carmilla Carmine to you, blue one. You now got ninety seconds." She started to walk towards him.
"Um…" Caboose uttered before glancing at the droid behind him. "I want to have that droid for Freckles to have."
Carmilla could hear the truth in his tone. But it wasn't enough to convince her. "And what is your intent? That machine is the only model I have ever since its discovery three years ago. It is something that I would not sell to the highest bidder. Sixty second—"
"HOW ABOUT GETTING THE SCHEMATICS FOR IT IN EXHANGE INCLUDING WEAPONS?" Freckles spoke suddenly, making the woman stopped walking and raised an eyebrow.
"What makes you think I am interested in doing such a thing?" The Arms Dealer sternly questioned.
"YOU ARE AN ARMS DEALER, CORRECT? CAPTAIN CABOOSE WANTS THIS FOR ME BUT YOU DID SAY YOU WOULDN'T SELL IT TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER." Freckles explained as he spoke analytically despite having that robotic tone. "I HAVE THE SAME SCHEMATICS WITHIN MY DATA THAT MAY PEEP YOUR INTEREST, MA'AM."
"Oh." She tilted her head as she focused on Caboose's Assault Rifle in hand. "And what else that may be interest of me?"
"WEAPONS THAT MAY BE GOOD USE FOR YOUR BUSINESS, MA'AM. BUT, BY DOING THIS, IT VIOLATES THE UNSC PROTOCOLS." Freckles pointed out before coming to a thought of countering that violation. "THAT IS IF YOU KEEP QUIET ABOUT THIS. WE GET WHAT WE WANT AND YOU GET TO HAVE NEW ITEMS IN STOCK. HOW DOES THAT SOUND FOR AN EXCHANGE?"
Carmilla ponded at that thought. She could just kill the man, who may be this Caboose, and grab his weapons for examination. But it seemed like he was way stronger than he initially looked. After a minute had passed, she looked back at him. "Then you got yourself a deal. Is there anything else you want?"
Caboose went silent for a few seconds before he came for a response. He once again looked down at his pet. "Um, Freckles, is there anything we need?"
"HOW ABOUT GETTING SOME SHARES OF THE INCOME?" His pet suggested. "GIVEN HOW THE SCHEMATICS ARE CONFIDENTIAL, SHE WOULD HAVE TO KEEP HER END OF THE BARGIN OF NOT REVEALLING WHO GAVE THE SCHEMATICS TO HER WHILE WE DO OUR OWN THING. ALSO, IT IS THE ONLY POSSIBLY WAY TO MAKE SOME MONEY HERE."
"Ah yes. Because the interest rate of this place would skyrocket into unforeseen levels." Caboose uttered in realisation. He then turned to Carmilla. "I think that would be agreeable, right Miss Caramel?"
Carmilla felt her right eye twitching upon hearing what he said. This stranger had mispronounced her name. "It's Camilla!"
"Yes, Miss Caramel," Caboose had "corrected".
"Alright, you can call me that." The Arm Dealer spoke with irritation. She didn't like some stranger mispronouncing her name. "And about those schematics…"
Caboose's Assault Rifle was immediately plugged next to a tablet where a copy weapon Schematics had been uploaded, including the one that contained the robot. When that was done, the idiot already put Freckles into the Mantis. It wasn't that hard to do so since a method that was similar to the one that Dr. Emily Grey had done to put him onto his Assault Rifle.
After moving Freckles Data onto the Mantis, it immediately stood up and looked at Caboose. Speaking of which, he was happy with the result. "How are you feeling, Freckles?"
"THIS BODY ISN'T THAT MUCH DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE." His pet pointed out to him. "I COULD GET USE TO THIS."
"Sure you would!" Caboose assured him before looking at Carmilla. "Well, it looks like I need to leave now Miss Caramel."
"Now wait just a moment," The Overlord stopped him in his tracks. Both he and Freckles turned to look at her. "Are you simply just going to go out there and cause chaos?"
"Chaos?" Caboose tilted his head before looking back at his "pet". "Nonsense! I am going to feed him, walk him, clean him, and make sure that he gets his daily exercises!"
Hearing what he had said caused Carmilla to be completely dumbfounded by this. "You…You're going to treat him let a pet?"
"That's because he is." Caboose responded rather defensively. "Freckles had been looking for a new body for a long time and now he has got what he wanted!"
"I see…" She spoke with uncertain. "You can leave now, blue one. Our deal is done."
"Okay!" He rambled cheerfully as if he completely forgetting why he exactly came here. He faced to where the entrance were before speaking once again. "I'll see you in the building, Freckles!" With one step, he instantly became fast and managed to run through the door, completely destroying it. Freckles followed suit but didn't destroy the door he walked through.
When the two were finally gone, Carmilla let out a tiresome sigh. The person she met is very unusual and cheery compared to the other clients she had. All of a sudden, she felt a heavy headache coming. There is one way to cure this.
She needed to drink a lot of alcohol right now.
-Flashback Ends-
"And that's how the meeting went." Carmilla had finally finished her story to her friend.
Zestial pondered what he just heard before his conclusion. "Ah, it must be the Blue One Alastor had mentioned. He pointed about his…unusual quirks."
"Not to mention he would treat one of mom's most sought out item as a literal pet." Clara added, still remembering the encounter she and her sister had with the exact same man back at that hotel. Speaking of which, she looked back at Carmilla. "What do you we should do if he ever comes back?"
Carmilla just sipped her cup of whisky. "I think he will come back here to have his "pet" get groomed here. But other than that, I will not let him buy any weapons as it is clearly shown that he is too dangerous with them. Perhaps it might change soon."
-Scene Change-
On a certain building within Imp City, an imp held two cups of coffee in his hands before giving it to a female imp, who sat down on the couch. She smiled at him upon receiving the drink from him. "Thanks, Moxxie."
Moxxie warmingly smiled back at his wife. "You are welcome." He sat down next to her and put their shoulders together before drinking their cups. Both let out a refresh gasp after their sip. "Today's a peaceful day, huh Mills?"
"You bet!" His wife responded with a smile. Though, there was something wrong. "But there's something wrong here?"
The male Imp furrowed an eyebrow at that. "Like what?"
"Like you gaining more weight," Loona spoke with a deadpan tone. She was on her desk and was on her phone scrolling through social media.
Moxxie took offensive to that. "I haven't gained weight!"
Millie place a hand on her husband's left shoulder. "Just relax, Moxxie. I'm sure she's only just-"
"Hello!"
Both imps jumped upon hearing an unfamiliar voice and dropped their cups. Coffee had spilled all over the carpet floor near where the voice came from. The two looked to see a very big man wearing a unique looking armour in blue coating. Moxxie immediately took a notice of how robust his rifle in that is held in his hands and also a Sniper Rifle slung onto his back. Though he was armed, it seemed like he had not malicious intent. "Um, did I disrupt anything?" Caboose asked in a rather curious tone.
"You can say something like that," Moxxie responded though he was irritated that his and his wife's freshly made coffee were spilled onto the floor. He realized that the man had entered the room through the door that was left wide open, which is good for them since they would have to pay insurance for the wall, he might have damaged. "Could I help you with anything?"
"Oh, I was only looking for what was his name again?" The blue soldier responded in confusion. "Is it Bing or Bingo?"
Moxxie had a feeling he was referring to his boss. "You mean Blitz, right?"
"Oh yes, him!" Caboose came to realise as he instantly look back at him. "Um, I was wondering if I can meet him?"
"He's currently busy at his office right now, Sir." The male Imp answered honestly. "I'm afraid you would have to—"
The Imp immediately saw that the man was no longer there. Instead, he saw Caboose immediately hugging Loona close by in her desk and rubbed his face near her cheek. "Oh my God! You're the cutest doggie ever! Who's a good girl?! Oh, who's a good girl!?"He spoke in a rather childlike tone. Unknown to him, the Hellhound didn't take this well and started to growl really aggressively now. She really hates being touched.
"Uh…Sir..." Moxxie tried to call him out as he saw the look on his co-worker's face. "You making her uncomfortable…?"
"What the fuck is going on here!?" Both he and Millie turned to the door to see their boss, Blitzø, opening the door. He had the look on his face that that he is extremely pissed at the noise made. "I can't even have some peaceful…time…alone…" He looked at the new individual in the room. "Who the fuck is this guy?"
Caboose immediately let go of Loona, much to her relief, and instantly stood in front of Blitzø. "Hi there! You must be Bingo!"
"It's Blitz!" The other male Imp corrected him. "And the O is silent!" He took a few sniffs and realised something was off. "Ugh! Did you recently just die? Because you smell just like one!"
"Yes! I recently arrived here!" Caboose announced despite getting the context wrong. "I am here to meet you!"
"Well, that's interesting." Blitzø spoke with intrigue. "So, do you need someone dead?"
"Oh no, I'm not here because of that." The blue solider spoke. "I'm here because you are advertising a commercial for a recruitment. I just happened to have watched it and I really wanted to join!"
"You…watched our commercial?" Blitzø questioned the man as he had an odd feeling that was swelling within his chest.
"Yes!" Caboose immediately shouted, causing the Hellhound to cover her ears. "It really interest me because you provide assistance to people!"
"Actually, we assassinate people for the Sinner that they never like when they were alive." Moxxie corrected, seeing how completely oblivious this individual is.
"Yes! It's exactly what I just said!" Caboose countered. "You assist people. And I got really, really, really, really, really, REEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLYYYYYY…."
Loona can't believe what she is hearing. She really needed to have a drink right now. "Just how fucking braindead is this idiot?"
"...YYYYYYYYYYY intrigue by it!" Caboose had finished before taking in a deep breath. "So, I was wondering if I can join you?"
"You want to join us?" Blitzø asked while feeling his heart skip a bat. "You're just a Sinner who doesn't that what I.M.P stands—"
"It means 'Irresistible Miraculous People', am I correct?" Caboose had uttered.
That caused a flip to be switched in Blitzø's mind. He immediately shook Caboose's hand with a very wide grin. "Alright, you can join us!" That caused Moxxie, Millie, and Loona to stare blankly at their boss as they accepting this stranger to be one of them. "I'm sure you will be a great asset—I mean member of this company, eh, what the fuck is your name?"
"Caboose." The blue soldier answered rather enthusiastically.
The name seemed strange. More so than for Moxxie and Loona as they found it to be ridiculous for someone to name their child after a Railroad Car. Speaking of the former, he did have to voice out his concern. "Uh, Sir? Do you think it's really a good choice to let a stranger immediately join us?"
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Mox." His leader assured him as he walked towards him. He stood in front of him and leaned him to his ear and spoke with a serious tone. "If you ever ask that question again, I will fucking fuck you and your wife at the same time! You understand?" He warned before turning back to Caboose. "And, Caboose, you are unconditionally one of us! I hope you really enjoy it here! It's going to be fantabulous with someone like you around!"
"YES!" Caboose spoke with pure excitement. Just like when he had just recently joined the Hazbin Hotel, he uttered the same comment. "This is totally going to be so AWESOME AND NEAT as I made more friends!" Unknown to most of them, Loona saw a light violet-skinned demonic woman just waiting there to speak to Blitzø.
Preview: I joined another group consisting of Bing or Bingo, Killie, Roxy, and Nevada! I really do hope Miss Charlotte and Baggie wouldn't mind me joining another group! Anyway, my first job to assist people on Earth! They are going to be shocked when I help them!
Oh Caboose, does he have any idea what he had just joined?
Now, he is now part of the IMP! I wonder what kind of headaches and canon divergence he will unintentionally cause because of his obliviousness. It seems like he has started to make a difference even though it was not out of malice but to help people. Like, getting Freckles a new body.
I wonder how everyone would feel about Caboose in general.
I can somehow see a certain Angelic duo being unable to tolerate him.
I am sorry if this chapter is rushed. It is because of two things.
It's April 1st, which means that it's the birthdays of Red vs Blue and Angel Dust!
I want to say, happy birthday despite the former being on its death bed.
I hope this chapter satisfy all of you!? You can criticise this work since I feel like there are many O.O.C moments. But what do you all think of this chapters? And predictions you all wanna make?
