Man, this chapter was sure something. And oh boy, it was really something. This mini arc will split into two parts as I am not keen to write a 10k words just yet. Also, I feel like it isn't the right time to do so.
I also want to thank Chronosign for correcting certain bits. I should have give him credit earlier.
Caboose's Guide to make Friends in Hell
Guide Eight
Beach Contest
Premise: They went to a beach. So I went! Why is everyone looking at Freckles weirdly?
Two months went by since Caboose arrived in Hell. It has been quite eventually. From the training exercise with the Hotel to getting a job with IMP. So far, it has been like that.
Right now, he is skipping on the sidewalk to his destination while flaying his arms out. Since Charlie hasn't planned any activities for the hotel today, he was allowed to go to his part-time job with her permission. Vaggie seemed suspicious of his job while Husk has the same thought. No matter, he'll be happy to let them see his job. Right now, he needed to go to work.
As he stood outside of where I.M.P was established, he suddenly heard a commotion nearby between multiple voices. One of them he'd instantly recognised to be Blitzø's. He walked towards the parking lot and saw the imp laughing with a giant muscular male wolf and a pink horned lady. By the looks of it, they seemed to have a banter. He decided to cry out to them "Hey, guys!"
Blitz and the two stopped laughing as they turned towards him. The Imp was surprised to see him. "Caboose!? What are you doing here?! I didn't call you since there wasn't any jobs available!"
"Well, um, you see it wasn't busy to where I am. So, I decided to come here to hang with you guys instead. If you get what I mean, Bing?" The blue idiot answered as he glances at the other I.M.P members, who stood at their van nearby before looking at the two new people he's never met. "By the way, who's your new friends?"
Blitzø and the two new individuals looked one another, though the former seems to be hesitant to speak. Luckily for him, the pink demon thought it would be good to introduce herself. "The name's Verosika, Little Blue Boy. You might have heard of me, correct?"
"Um…" Caboose tilted his head at that while scratching the left side of his helmet. "I haven't heard of a Frisk before as I can recall." And that had taken her back. She is a very famous celebrity and everyone in Hell knows her.
Fortunately, her bodyguard, who appeared to be a muscular wolf hellhound, had voiced this reason. "Maybe he doesn't know you that well, Boss." He let out a few sniffs. "He's probably just a new Sinner who hasn't adjusted…" He looked back to where Caboose stood, and he disappeared. Naturally, this caught everyone off guard, and the buff wolfhound started to look around. "Where did he go?"
His response came as an arm, which was in titanium alloy, wrapped around his neck and was pulled in in a hug, where he was immediately nuzzled by Caboose, who somehow appeared right beside him. Like with Loona, he did the same thing by nuzzling his cheek with his helmet. "Oh my God! You're the cutest Doggie ever! Well, besides Nevada, of course. Oh, who's a good boy!? Oh, who's a Good boy!?"
Loona, who was watching the scene standing beside Moxxie, and Millie, could only shake her head in disapproval before pinching the bridge of her nose. "God fucking damn it, Caboose!"
Blitzø could say the same. "Hey, Caboose? That's enough now." Caboose didn't listen to him and continued nuzzling Veorsika's bodyguard. This caused him to call his name again. "Caboose." For the second time, he didn't listen, making him call out his name for the third time. "Caboose!" Now, the Imp was getting irritated by his newest member not listening to him, which caused him to draw the fourth and final straw. "CABOOSE!"
His angry response caused the idiot to quickly let go and take a few steps back before apologising to the male hellhound and the imp. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mr buffy Wolf and Bing! I didn't mean to offend any of you!"
Unlike with Loona, this hellhound just chuckled at his words. "That's alright, bluey. It was a one-time thing. Although, you should have given a thought beforehand." He suddenly remembered his manners. "Oh, I forgot, the name's Vortex."
Caboose waved at him. "It's nice to meet you, Tex." Saying that felt so nostalgic to him for obvious reasons.
The Hellhound just laughed at his response. "It isn't how you say my name correctly. But that could do."
Seeing what had just happened made Verosika drink her flask to ease her incoming headache. However, Caboose caught her in the process. "Oh! What are you exactly drinking, Miss Pink Lady?"
The Succubus looked at him upon hearing what he said but decided to ignore it. "This is called Beezlejuice, and—"
"Can I have some?" Caboose interrupted with a childlike tone upon hearing 'juice'.
The Succubus looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You want to have some?"
The idiot nodded his head. "Yes, because it is juice."
She looked back at her flask before looking back at him. "I'm afraid you can't have it, Blue Little Boy. This is the only one I have right now." She responded with a seductive tone.
"What happen if I said, "pretty please"?" Caboose still insisted on taking a sip of this juice of interest without knowing he was being seduced.
Verosika glared at him with disapproval before letting out a scoff. "That is still a no."
The idiot was about to open his mouth when he looked down as he felt Blitzø tugging the left kneecap of his blue armour. "Hey, Caboose. Can you please do us a favour and wait for us in the office?" He saw that the two were in their limits and didn't want to see them snapping at his newest colleague. Even though they have the right to do so.
Caboose felt obliged to do his Boss's command despite not knowing the context. "OKAY!" With that, he left to go to the office.
Once he left, the three Hell natives look at another upon their encounter with him. Vortex just let a slight chuckle before rubbing the back of his head. "He's a strange one, isn't he?"
For once, the Imp agreed with his ex-girlfriend's bodyguard. "Yes. But I don't find it unusual."
Verosika didn't see it that way. "He's very idiotic from what I can see. Still, I wonder if he is similar to you, Blitzo?"
-Scene Change-
Caboose was on his laptop playing a particular gacha game that he developed an addiction as of recently within the meeting room. Thanks to earning twenty percent of Camilla's sales of his weapons schematic, which wasn't actually his, plus with the additional pocket money Charlie had given him, he was free to spend any amount of money he want. If it doesn't fall at the limit cost of a hundred per month. After finishing the fight, he heard the door open and saw the rest of I.M.P entering. "Hey guys! Where have you been?" he greeted them right after closing his laptop.
"We've been talking with Verosika and her crew, before they settled in for a contest." Moxxie answered his team Member's question while he rubbed his face as if he'd been kissed multiple times.
Naturally, Caboose tilted his head at that. "What type of contest?"
The marksman Imp looked at his Boss. "Would you like to explain, Sir?"
Blitzø nodded at the blue armoured man. "Absolutely!"
Everyone then sat down and the leader of I.M.P started to explain his plans. First, he explained how they are going to need a lot for clients then kill people, and then put their bodies in a pile of bags before dumping them into the ocean where any Sealife creature would eat their remains. He added how it would earn a lot of money and win the bet against his ex-girlfriend. "Do you have… any questions?" He concluded his explanation to the rest of his colleagues while pointing out the window.
Moxxie had one to say. "Uh, yeah. Why was that nonsense?"
This causes Caboose to look at him. "Uh, it wasn't Roxy. Bing just explained how he is going to win against his ex-girlfriend and stuff."
The other male imp looked at him as he didn't expect Caboose to understand his Boss's words. Then again, he wasn't all to surprise since his blue team Member was a complete dumbass who probably had some sort of understanding his Boss's rambling. "Oh. That's understandable. But that wasn't exactly a plan."
He felt his boss put his arm on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, but that was a flawless presentation of what we should do, Mox. It's not my fault you got a smooth little brain upstairs."
"A what now?" He asked confusingly.
"I'm callin' ya slow, Moxxie." Blitzø told him. "God, why don't you learn to take criticism, you talentless baby dicked troll?!" He said while poking his chest.
This causes the other male imp to climb onto the table in anger before pointing at his boss and then himself. "Well, why don't you take an art class?"
The Boss of IMP grabbed him before throwing him back to the chair. "Why don't you see how EXPENSIVE they are?!"
As they were arguing, Caboose looked at Millie. "So, Killie. Are they like this all the time?"
The female Imp looked at him with a neutral look. "Well, yeah."
"Huh," The idiot muttered. "That's neat." He was reminded of the Reds and Blue just by seeing the two interact with one another.
Just then, Loona then asked her Boss a question. "Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?"
This causes Blitzø to instantly leer at her. "Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie. Spring break is no place for young, vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of FREAKS up there who'd drool all over you!"
Him, Millie, Moxxie, Loona, and Caboose then disapprovingly stared right at something. It was during that time the idiot usher in a comment that none of them responded to. "Not cool, guys. I can't believe you're all like Tucker."
The receptionist looks back at her boss with a casual tone. "Well, I can blend in with humans easy enough. Just let me tag along." She informed him.
Now, it caught his attention upon hearing this. "Wait, say that again."
"I can... blend in…?" She inquisitively told him while she shrugs her shoulders.
"Do you have a human disguise?" Millie can't help but to curiously ask.
"Yeah. Don't you?" Loona questioned the three Imps, which made them nervously look at one another with their eyes side by side. This alone made the Hellhound realise what they have been doing. "You three have been screwing around on Earth this whole fucking time… without human disguises?!"
"Oh, I have my armour on. So, that shouldn't be a worry if I did that a second time." Caboose informed her in his usual tone.
Loona gazed at him. "I wasn't referring to you with them, bluetard. Also, aren't you supposed to stay in Hell since you're a Sinner? Because if you went to Earth, that's a huge fuck up."
"Um…" Caboose was trying to find the proper words to say. "Is that a thing?"
Luckily for him, Blitzø interrupted at the right time before the Hellhound could respond. "Okay, new plan!" He did a quick sketch and presented it to everyone. "Loonie can help lure the humans to us, and we'll take care of the rest. Except for Caboose since…you all know that he isn't a participant. How about that?"
"Flawless logic," Millie praised her Boss's new plan.
That couldn't be the same for her husband. "I think you're missing the biggest issue, sir. Isn't it crucial to have a client who demands enough kills to win this bet? We aren't just going up to massacre!"
"I got that covered, Mox." His Boss assured him,
"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Now everyone looked at Caboose who had his hands up before he put it down. "If you are having a contest and Nevada can bending with humens, may I bring my pet to keep me company?"
Loona pinched the bridge of her nose upon what she heard. "For fuck's sake, it's blend in with humans, you idiot!" She corrected.
Millie, meanwhile, was curious and surprised that Caboose even owns a pet in the first place. "You... own a pet, Caboose?"
Caboose bobbled his head. "Yes. Freckles is a big one. Don't worry, he doesn't bite at all!"
Blitzø thought about what his newest member said. He saw no harm in allowing his pet to tag along. "Sure. Just make sure you text me once you grabbed him."
"OKAY!" With that, Caboose instantly left the room but not before bringing his laptop.
Once he was gone, the members of IMP looked at one another. They felt unsure if Caboose should partake with them if he is going to bring his dog. "Uh, Sir. Don't you think it is a good idea for him to bring his pet?"
Blitzø glanced back at him. "Sure. As long as he doesn't allow that pet of his to interfere in our contest. Now, where were we?"
-Scene Change-
Vaggie threw herself in the couch within the Hotel's Main Area after escorting Caboose's "pet", Freckles, for nearly three hours. She felt exhausted. Lucky for her, Razzle and Dazzle came flying towards her with refreshments. She grabbed them and smiled at the duo. "Thank you."
As the Hotel's Manger was refreshing herself, The Princess of Hell saw her lying on the couch and decided to walk over towards her. "Hey, Vaggie. How was the walk with Freckles?" She greeted her.
Vaggie stopped sipping her drink and glanced at her. "It was the usual, hon." She sat to allow Charlie to sit next to her. "But I swear. Caboose is a very weird Sinner. I mean, owning a pet that is a literal death machine is one thing…" She stopped talking once she realises that Caboose's pet was in the same room as he stared right at the two. "No, I wasn't being too wicked there, Freckles."
"AFFIRMATIVE," The droid responded in his robotic tone.
Vaggie look next to her to see her girlfriend taking her seat, she then continued. "As I was saying, dealing with Caboose is like dealing with a child that has both autism and ADHD. He is troubling to say the least."
Charlie could agree with the other girl's statement. "Yeah. But, as he said it himself, he is really good at making friends and I think we should give him a chance."
"Uh, then why doesn't he partake in the Hotel's activity instead of going to his part-time job?" Her girlfriend cautiously questioned.
The other girl just giggled a little at response. "W-well, I haven't exactly planned what activities we're about to do that he may enjoy, Something he won't be dangerous with," If there is one flaw that they see in Caboose is how he takes the word "help" to almost shooting them.
Her girlfriend understood what she was trying to say and place a hand over hers in comfort. "Don't worry, Charlie. I'm sure we'll figure out how Caboose can partake in." Right at the same time, both Vaggie and Charlie saw Caboose entering through the Hotel's Main entrance doors and walked to where Freckles was. This made the couple look at him. "Speaking of which…"
"Caboose?" Charlie spoke his name.
Said person looked at her after he placed his laptop on a nearby cupboard where Niffty can put it back in his room. "Oh, hey Carlos, Ravel, Davel, Miss Angry Mexican Pirate!"
Vaggie just facepalmed at that name and snarled at him. "How many times do you have to call me that, Caboose?!"
Charlie ignored her girlfriend's sudden outburst and looked at her blue co-worker. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed be in your part time job assisting people?"
"Oh yeah. See, my colleagues at my part time job is going to be busy with a competition. So, they allowed me to bring my pet to keep me company." Caboose responded to the Princess of Hell before turning to the large robot. "Freckles, come! They want to see you!"
"ARE YOU SURE IT IS A WISE DECISION, CAPTAIN? YOU ARE PARTAKING IN WHAT DOESN'T ASSOCIATE WITH THE UNSC." His pet questioned as it was aware of the practices of his Master's part time job.
"I mean, you're only there to keep me accompany. You shouldn't worry!" The blue soldier retorted before nudging his shoulder. "C'mon! We better not keep them waiting!"
"AS YOU COMMAND, CAPTAIN," The Mantis Class Military Assault Droid said as he followed Caboose out of the room and caused the room to shake with each footstep he made. It seems as though Charlie and Vaggie were unbothered by this.
Unlike the wall that was prone to be destroyed, the main door opened wider as the robot exited the hotel while it kept close with the blue idiot. A few seconds passed and Vaggie can't help but to have a bad feeling what was about to happen. "I don't like where this is about to go."
Charlie heard her concern and placed a hand over her shoulder in comfort. "Don't worry, Vaggie. Freckles is as responsible as you. I'm sure he can look after Caboose just like you can." She let out a few giggles as she was surrounded by her two guardians, where they keep the two occupied.
-MEANWHILE, ON EARTH-
As the members of IMP waited for the newest team member to come while most of them hid somewhere on the beach, Blitzø felt his phone vibrate. Grabbing his phone from his pocket, he opened it and saw a text from the blue idiot. "Git Freckles now. Peas tll Nevada 2 O'pen that portal thingy."
The leader chuckled at this text and turned to his Receptionist. "Hey, Loonie. Would you mind opening that portal to get Caboose?"
Loona, who was in her human form, only rolled her eyes at her command. "Whatever. I'll do it." She pulled out Stolas's Grimoire and flicked through the pages. "Still can't believe you're allowing a Sinner to roam on Earth with us." She uttered as she stopped at a page to create a huge portal somewhere where they can enter without being spotted.
A couple of seconds later, Caboose was able to meet up with them. "Hey, guys! Sorry I took long!"
Blitzø accepted his team member's apology. "Ah, no need to be worried about that. You were just grabbing your pet!"
Now that he mentioned about it, Loona can't help but to question where it was. "So, where is this pet?"
"Well…" Caboose spoke when the ground started to rumble. Both Millie and Moxxie got out of their hiding place, and all looked around to see what is causing it. None of them expected to see a giant robot walking towards them and stopped by the blue idiot's side, which made them have their eyes widened despite the rumbling stoping. The robot glanced down at them. "He's here. This is Freckles, my pet!"
"That's….your pet?" Millie can't help to ask rather nervously at seeing "him".
"Yes," He simply answered.
Moxxie could say something different about the whole thing. "We thought Freckles was a pet!"
"He is my pet," Caboose assured them as he looked at the Droid. "And he's a good boy! Isn't that right!?"
"AFFIRMATIVE!" Freckles responded.
Loona can't believe what she was seeing. She must be daydreaming at the moment. Yet, despite this, she knew this whole thing is real. "Great. Just what we need. Our newest dumbass has a pet that turns out to be a robot that can fucking speak!" Freckles turned to look at her, which she did the same. "Hey, I didn't say that out of malice, you know?"
"UNDERSTOOD. YOUR SARCASM IS MASKING YOUR SURPRISE," Freckles clarified.
Blitzø, meanwhile, silently stared at the robot before him with sparkles in his eyes. It went on like this for a while before he suddenly spoke. "Caboose…" The idiot looked at him as he did the same. "You're…You're a freaking genius! I never knew you'd have a killer robot that is outfitted with everything we need to win this contest?"
"Really?" The blue idiot asked. "Great!"
Freckles, however, didn't see it that way. He looked down at the imp. "I AM UNAUTHORIZED TO ENGAGE AGAINST NON-UNSC PERSONNELS. CAPTAIN CABOOSE SPEFICALLY ORDERED THAT I SHOULD ESCORT HIM DURING THIS MISSION." And that caused Blitzø to whine at a failed opportunity to win.
"And to ensure he doesn't do anything stupid that could ruin the contest." Moxxie added before doing a double take on what he heard. "Also, what's the UNSC, Caboose?"
"Um…" The idiot was unsure what to say.
Lucky for him, his pet responded to the other male imp's question. "THAT IS CLASSIFIED INFORMATION. CAPTAIN CABOOSE IS NOT ENTITLED TO TELL NON-UNSC PERSONNEL WHAT IT IS."
Loona and Millie raised an eyebrow at that. "Classified?" Both females spoke.
All of a sudden, Blitzø clapped his hands to grab everyone's attention. "Alright, that talk could be for another time. Mox, Mills, Loonie, let's just do our job." The three nodded at him. Before leaving, he looked at his newest Team Member. "Caboose, and Freckles, just stay here, okay?"
"OKAY!/AFFIRMATIVE!" Both Caboose and Freckles assured the others before they went their way.
Not long after IMP left to do their job, Caboose looked at the sand underneath his feet. An idea popped into his head as he looked up at his pet. "Freckles! Freckles!" The Droid looked down at him. "Since we are left alone, do you really, REALLY want to build an awesome sandcastle?!"
"THAT WOULD BE A NECESSARY CHOICE, CAPTAIN," Freckles agreed with him before asking a question. "WOULDN'T THERE BE ANY CONSEQUENCES HAPPENING SOON TO WHAT THEY ARE ABOUT TO DO?"
Caboose just waved his hand at him, dismissing the potential dangers that would occur. "Oh, you shouldn't be worrying about it. The Irresistible Miraculous People could deal with the problems they created." He knelt on the ground and started to put sand together with both of his hands. "Now, let's start building this Sandcastle?"
Preview: So, while I was doing that, Frisk did something that made people dance. I am unsure what they did, so I need to ask Freckles about it!
After two months, I finally updated it. Sorry if it exactly wasn't what you want. But, I want to keep this and A Hunter's Guide for Running a Hotel on the same amount of chapters. Hey, both stories are popular in their own right!
Now, I need to update Embers of Remnant soon.
Don't worry, the next chapter will have "that scene". But I need suggestions on what will happen when the fighting happens…which will occur thanks to Caboose.
I hope this chapter satisfy all of you!? You can criticise this work since I feel like there are many O.O.C moments. But what do you all think of this chapters? And predictions you all wanna make?
