Chapter 32

~Terminalem Morbum~

I feel like a celebrity when we leave the hospital. Bella and I exit through a side door where two unmarked SUVs with blacked-out windows wait. We wear loose hoodies, keeping our hair covered and faces concealed as we hurry from the building into the alley. The officer who was posted by my room ushers us into the first car and taps his hand on the roof twice. The car immediately takes off, and I watch him get into the car behind us and follow at a distance.

Bella huddles against me, grasping at the sleeve of my hoodie. She's been subdued all day, barely talking and refusing to eat. I wonder what's going through her mind.

We discussed logistics earlier and decided my apartment is too exposed and so is the one upstairs from Inkspiration. As it happens, there's an empty loft in my sister's building directly across from her and Jasper. The industrial building has a sophisticated security system and garage parking on the ground floor.

My phone vibrates, and I pull it out.

I'm sorry I've been MIA ~J

Before Bella can see my screen, I flip the phone and lay it facedown on the seat next to me. None of us have heard from Jimmy for a few days. The timing of his disappearances surrounding certain events seems too convenient. I peek at Bella and watch her fiddling with a loose thread at the edge of my sleeve. Her head is down, and I can't see her expression, but I know it by heart at this point—face tight with worry, eyes full of fear, full body trembling. She went through immeasurable suffering at the hands of Phoenix, but her life with Jimmy isn't solid either. Maybe he rescued her from an abusive situation, but he keeps abandoning her with little or no warning.

Bella draws in a breath and freezes, turning her head slowly to peek up at me. "What's wrong?" she whispers.

I shake my head. "Nothing."

Her gaze falls to my hand, which is curled into a tight fist. "Have I done something wrong?"

"No! God no, Bella." I unclench my fist, opening and closing my hand a few times. She withdraws into a ball, putting several inches between us. "It's not you. It's the situation."

"Which is m-my fault."

"Hey." I clasp her hand and bring it to my lips. When her eyes eventually meet mine, I press her palm against my chest and speak earnestly, hoping she will believe me. "None of this is your fault. Your father let you down, Ming Li let you down, and Phoenix abused and took advantage of you. I know Jimmy saved you from Fire Island, but he let you down too."

Bella opens her mouth to protest, but I shake my head. She simply stares up at me like a frightened child, fat tears spilling over and streaking her cheeks. Eventually, she leans into me again and resumes fingering the thread on my sleeve.

"I'm going to take care of you," I whisper.

I don't intend my words to be loud enough to hear, but Bella's fingers falter for a moment before continuing their rhythmic fiddling with the edge of my sleeve.

Jasper is leaning against the building waiting for us when we arrive. He saunters over to the car casually. When the driver opens the hatch, Jasper grabs some of Bella's things. "Follow me, guys."

The loft he lets us into is spacious and airy with big windows that let in lots of light. Bella breaks away from me and wanders around in fascination, oohing and aahing about the brick walls, hardwood floors, and high ceilings. She stops at the entry to the partitioned-off bedroom and turns, looking at me uncertainly. "There's only one bedroom."

"No worries, Bella. Furniture is being delivered this afternoon. I ordered a futon—I will sleep on that."

"Oh" is all she says, but there are still questions in her eyes.

Jasper starts opening cabinets in the kitchen area, unpacking some bags that are on the counter. "Guys, I had some groceries delivered to get you started. Ali gave you some dishes and silverware that were in a box for donation—because your sister changes dinnerware like most people change their clothes. Her fickle tendencies came in useful for once." He offers Bella a lopsided smile. "Bella, if there's anything you want or need, please don't hesitate. We are literally across the hall."

Bella smiles gratefully. "Thank you, Jasper. You guys have been amazing."

Once the rest of Bella's belongings are in the loft, I suggest she unpack. She hovers at the entrance of the bedroom with a pile of clothes in her arms, then shakes her head and retreats. I sense she wants to argue about the sleeping arrangements but thought better of it.

When the delivery guys arrive with the furniture, I direct them where to arrange the living room set and TV, then ask them to place the futon against the wall outside the bedroom.

I wait ten minutes, and when Bella doesn't appear, I walk over to the bedroom and knock on the doorjamb without going inside. "Bella?" I call softly.

"Come in." She sniffles and swipes at her face as I come through the doorway.

I hover just inside, not wanting to crowd her. "You want me to order a pizza for dinner?"

"Yeah, that sounds nice."

"Are you okay?"

She offers me a wan smile. "I'm fine. Be out in a few."

Wanting to respect her privacy, I retreat to the kitchen and order the pizza. I take a look in the fridge and grin. There's a case of beer, a bottle of wine, some water, and iced tea. I hunt through the cabinets for cups, plates, and napkins.

"Oh my God, Edward!" Bella cries out, and my heart starts racing.

She's over by the windows, staring outside. I hurry over, wondering what has her attention.

"What is it?"

She turns, the excitement of a child in her eyes. "Come look!"

I follow her finger. The windows on this side of the building have a nearly unobscured view of the river in the distance. The sun dips low, gleaming off the rolling water, the golden rays beaming up through the clouds. The sky is painted with brilliant pinks and oranges. The fact Bella can get so excited about a sunset after all she's been through melts my heart.

"Gorgeous."

"Isn't it perfect?" Bella is enthralled with the ever-morphing palette.

"Mm-hmm . . . perfect." The sunset is breathtaking, but I'm referring to the beautiful creature beside me.

My phone dings from across the room, reminding me that I never responded to Jimmy's text. Resentment erupts inside me, and I close my eyes for a long moment in an attempt to gain control.

"You're missing it." Bella nudges me softly.

I open my eyes. She's watching me closely, a V forming between her brows.

"Sorry, just a lot on my mind. It's amazing." I gaze down at her and think, You're amazing.

She grabs my hand, tugging me close enough to feel the heat of her body. I slip my arm around her, and she rests her head against my shoulder. We watch the ever-changing palette of colors deepen as the sky darkens, and a sprinkling of city lights winks across the horizon.

The pizza arrives, and we eat in the living room while watching a movie. At one point, I head into the kitchen to grab another beer and realize I never checked my message from earlier. Twisting the cap off the beer, I take a pull from the bottle. I unlock my phone and check my texts.

Hey! ~J

Dude, are you mad at me? ~J

I'm disappointed ~E

I'll be back tomorrow. ~J

Stay away until you get your shit together. Bella is safe with me. ~E

Oh . . . so that's how it is. ~J

I type and erase a few responses. None of my suggestions for what he should do will improve the situation. With a deep sigh, I silence my notifications and head back to the living room with my half-empty beer.

"Everything okay?" Bella asks.

"Fine, yeah." I flop onto the couch beside her. Her smile is tentative and unsure, but she accepts my answer. Slowly but surely, Bella leans into me, her eyelids drooping. By the time the credits roll, she's snoring softly. I gaze down at her, curled into me with perfect trust, and I feel a mixture of thankfulness and anger.

I ghost my fingers across the soft skin of her cheek. "Bella," I whisper. She mumbles grumpily in response, wrinkling her nose.

Extricating myself slowly, I scoop her into my arms and carry her into the bedroom, setting her on the bed. When I move to stand, she wraps her arms around my neck. "Don't go."

"Bella, I'll be right outside."

"Stay." She tightens her hold on my body and my heart.

"Just until you fall asleep. That's—that's all I can offer you." For now.

"Okay." She sighs, loosening her grip, and I tuck the blanket around her.

I arrange myself on top of the covers. Bella turns and presses her back against my chest. After a few seconds, I begin to stroke her hair, allowing the gossamer strands to slip through my fingers.

This is hell. I feel bound to take care of her, to keep her safe, and another growing part of me wants to claim her as mine. She's been through so much. I know she's damaged and will need a lot of therapy to recover. And then there's the fact the danger isn't over—not until we deal with Phoenix.

Once Bella's breathing is deep and even, I slip off the bed and pad out to the kitchen. I grab another beer from the fridge and settle at the breakfast bar. There are numerous missed calls from Jimmy and texts from an unknown number. I decide to read the texts first.

You have something that belongs to me. ~Unknown

Return what's mine. ~Unknown

The next shot will be between your eyes ~Unknown

Or maybe I'll put one between your sister's eyes. ~Unknown

I shove a fist against my mouth, afraid I will yell out and awaken Bella. This fucker is threatening Ali now? The worst part is that I can't answer the prick. None of my responses will go through. The coward hides behind anonymity while I burn with anger. But there is one thing I can do—call Jimmy back.

"Ed, my man! Finally!" Jimmy's smooth voice comes over the line, and it angers me all the more.

"Shut the fuck up and listen."

"Whoa! Easy there."

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Dealing with—"

"Don't you dare say business, Jimmy." My voice is low and dangerous. "Do you have any idea what's gone on since you disappeared?"

"Edward—"

"Phoenix killed someone who looked like me. He shot me with a tranquilizer gun and pinned a note to my chest to let me know the next time will be the real thing." I make him listen to everything that transpired this past week, and then I read him the texts that the bastard sent me tonight.

"Jesus Christ."

"Is that all you have to say? You keep disappearing and leaving Bella behind. Decisions had to be made. I will keep her safe."

"You have feelings for her." He's not asking.

I clench one fist against my thigh and fight to remain in control. "You keep shoving this precious, broken woman in my face. What did you expect?"

"Edward, I didn't want to tell you this over the phone . . . I'm sick. I've been getting treatment."

I rake a hand roughly through my hair. "Shit, man. Why didn't you tell me? Does Bella know?"

"I didn't know how to talk about this . . . inoperable cancer growing inside me. Only a handful of people know. Yes, one of them is Bella."

"Is it . . . I mean . . ." I stumble over my words.

"I haven't given up yet, but it's most likely terminal. I'm sorry for what I've put you through, man. I really am, but I need to know Bella will be safe . . . cared for . . . loved."

"Jimmy, fuck. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

He huffs a laugh. "You're already doing it."

"Shit. I don't know what to say. I've been so mad at you."

"Hey. Put the pity away." Jimmy sounds angry. "I need you to focus on Bella. Help her, and keep her safe."

"You know I will."

"Yeah. Listen, I gotta go. Talk soon."

"Jimmy, wait."

He's already gone. I lay my phone down and rest my head in my hands. What just happened?

"He told you, didn't he?" Bella's voice is shaky. I look up to find her hovering at the edge of the kitchen in a T-shirt and leggings.

"Sorry if I woke you." I scrub a palm over my face and find it damp with tears. "Come sit. You want a drink?"

"No, thanks." Bella pulls up a stool, settling across from me.

I polish off my beer and decide not to have another. Reaching out, I take her hands in mine, squeezing gently. "You knew about Jimmy's illness?"

She nods, tears welling in her eyes. "I've known all along. When Jim courted me on Fire Island, he was honest with me. At the time, we had high hopes of recovery, but"—she pauses, choking on a sob—"now we know it's not likely. He wanted to make sure someone would protect me from Phoenix when he couldn't."

Bella tries to pull her hands back, but I hold on tightly. "Hey. Look at me." I wait for our gazes to meet. There's something so vulnerable in her eyes that it causes a pang in my chest. "I'm going to keep you safe. I care about you—a lot. No matter what happens with Jimmy, you will always have me. Okay?"

Bella smiles sadly and nods, tears streaming down her face. "Thank you, Edward. I'm sorry about the way this played out. Jim should have told you everything right away, but I'm glad you know now."

"What kind of cancer does he have? Is he sure there's no hope?"

Bella looks at me for a long moment. "Jim has a lot of money. He's been to all the top specialists. But if you have questions, you should ask him."

"Does Ash know?"

"No, and Jim doesn't want him to. He's afraid Ash would try to take over and make things worse. So don't tell him."

"I wouldn't."

We hold hands over the top of the breakfast bar for a long time in silence. Eventually, Bella's lids start to droop, and I help her back to bed. I hold her as she falls asleep. This time, it's as much for my comfort as for hers.

~oOo~

It appears Jimmy is purposely setting Bella up with Edward. She's so damaged, and Edward is trying to do the right thing. Let's hear those thoughts and theories.

I still have a lot of personal stuff going on, but I'm trying my best to find time to write. To those of you who wait patiently for updates and send me messages of encouragement, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I post teasers and links to updates on Facebook in the No Rules Twilight Fan Fiction, The Twilight Fanfiction Finders, and It All Started With Twilight groups.

Thanks and gratefulness as always to my awesome betas, SassySue (chayasara) and Wendy (wmr1601) and prereader extraordinaire Aleea (Aleeab4u). These ladies make my stuff much more presentable! (Translation: save me from sounding like a blathering fool)

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