Jiraiya wasn't doing well.

He hadn't—

He hadn't been doing well in ages.

For a time, he'd thought it was because of Orochimaru, of his best friend's betrayal.

But it had been before that.

He hadn't—

In hindsight, his time on the team hadn't been as rosy as it seemed. They'd fought, more often than not, and they'd only ever really gotten along when they were each individually happy, and Sensei was always busy, and no one had cared much about anyone's issues—

And the Academy had sucked too.

Part of that was just because it was so new—Konoha itself was only founded thirteen years before Jiraiya was born—and part of that was because he was part of the first introduction of orphans.

Which hadn't been taken well.

But then, being an orphan pre-Academy hadn't been anything good either (his parents were criminals, Jiraiya knew, or at least his mother was, and no one had wanted to take him on, and everything in the orphanage had smelled, and kids were regularly 'adopted' to act as house slaves to nobles…) and sometimes Jiraiya wondered if he ever really had a chance.

He frowned as he listened to the idle chatter in the pub; it sounded like Lightning's civilians were incredibly frustrated with the continued fighting between Kumo and Konoha, but then they'd been frustrated from the beginning, from the time it was clear that Kumo hadn't been willing to fight for vaccine access, had only attacked out of fear for a threat as-yet unrealized.

It was good, he supposed, that Konoha's tactics—focusing on defense, minimizing civilian casualties, pushing the idea (however false) that Konoha could keep this going indefinitely—were working.

On the other hand, the fighting hadn't stopped.

So far it hadn't worsened either, primarily because none of the Daimyos had any interest in joining a fight over, as far as they could tell, nothing; and both Kumo and Iwa hadn't pulled back, exactly, but were definitely not as avid as they had been in the first weeks, when Minato was still bedridden…

So far it hadn't worsened, but really, after months, that wasn't enough.

Minato wanted peace.

Jiraiya wanted peace.

Konoha's people wanted peace.

Everyone wanted peace—

Except for Kumo.

Except for Iwa.

Except for, maybe, Suna, but Suna was—

Jiraiya's frown deepened.

Suna was supposed to be their ally.

Was still, officially, their ally.

Hadn't acted that way in a long, long time.

And then Jiraiya's countenance smoothened, and he raised his hand for another drink.

Suna wasn't acting like their ally, so Konoha had no motivation to help them, and Jiraiya (and therefore Konoha) knew something the stupid gold-user didn't.

It was only a matter of time; and now that Jiraiya thought of it, he might want to head southwest, might want to be there.

Jiraiya wasn't doing well, but perhaps some schadenfreude would lighten his mood.

.

The major alarms weren't on, but if that was only because the Inuzuka caught the trail so quickly—if it was one of Konoha's enemies, they'd have known to cover their tracks.

Still, Fugaku worried.

If he were an Iwa-nin, and he had the resources, he'd have laid a false trail, delayed the alarm and send Konoha running in entirely the wrong direction.

He glanced at Itachi, his newly-one-year-old son, as the boy napped on the Hokage's chair, and his heart clenched.

A thirteen-year-old fresh genin (who had, as far as Fugaku had been told, suffered through the one year he'd been forced to attend of the Academy with an absolute lack of grace) was an entirely different matter than an infant, but—

Fugaku had never taken kidnappers well.

Minato frowned, leaning forward as the walk-and-talk radio crackled. "The ninken just confirmed—the kids' dog's scent is definitely traveling with him."

Another sign that it wasn't a kidnapper, then.

The kids owned a dog together, an old one, and there was no way any other nation would have the slightest interest in the mutt.

Good, that was good.

(Another sign that they were infiltrators, spies, Fugaku did not say aloud.)

In the corner, the kid's two friends—fellow orphans, fellow rescues Jiraiya brought.

Fugaku knew nothing about the redhead, but he'd heard more than a little about the possible new bloodline the girl had introduced to the village.

It had sounded powerful.

It had sounded like the sort of thing a village would end an infiltration mission early for, like the sort of thing that made it rather difficult to believe these newbie genin were working for another village.

…But then, the Uchiha had been a part of Konoha since its founding and they were straying to another village, were considering severing ties.

The world was, Fugaku thought resentfully, far too complicated to be confident about any assumptions.

The walk-and-talk machine crackled again.

"We're headed towards the main prison complex," the voice said.

Which was… interesting.

The southeast was probably where Konoha's hold on its surrounding areas was strongest, and there wasn't anything particularly exciting to escape to in that direction either.

More interesting was the quick glance shared between the two genin.

Namikaze caught it too.

"That mean something to you?"

The girl—Konan—sunk into herself even more.

"Yahiko's been kind-of obsessed with prisons lately."

The boy remained quiet.

So did Fugaku; he knew Namikaze shared a Sensei with these three, for all that a Yamanaka was their Sensei now, and that would give him a much better edge in learning anything.

Namikaze pushed the advantage. "Why?"

"When—before Jiraiya… we'd talked about, like. Making our own village. Protecting our people."

Reasonable.

"So… what to do about… you know, threats. That was a big concern."

It didn't take that much more to put the pieces together, not with what Fugaku already knew. The children had definitely killed before, had definitely lived a rough, hard life.

The idea of recidivism—one of Head Yamanaka Sakura's recent focuses—would no doubt appeal to them.

"What is he looking to find?" Namikaze asked.

Konan shrugged.

The boy—Nagato—remained silent.

.

Yahiko scrambled up a tree, but he knew he'd already been caught.

He'd had to leave Chibi behind already, and—

Well, and he was in the tree hugger's home base, and climbing a tree.

The Inuzuka woman who was trailing him most closely didn't even do him the honor of running flat-out; she walked forward instead, looking like she found the whole thing a joke.

Looked up.

"How do you want to do this?"

Yahiko considered.

"What way lets me see the inside of the adult prison?"

Her eyebrows rose—good, interest. "And why do you want to see that?"

"Konoha likes to put all their good qualities out in the open, where anyone can see. You aren't putting the prison out there."

"And which prison do you want to go to?"

Yahiko hesitated. He hadn't—hadn't thought of how they might have more than one. "The… worst one?"

"Well, that's kind of a subjective measurement, don't you think?"

"Why do you have so many prisons anyway?"

"Oh, this and that reason," the woman said. Yahiko registered that he couldn't hear anyone else, anymore, just her and her ninken. "Primarily because we house most of the entire country's prisoner population, to be honest—a nice way to make some easy money. Also because, as you've no doubt noticed, we're the 'tree huggers.'" The way she said the word made it very clear that she found it very, very funny.

Yahiko wished he knew why.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, tree huggers don't exactly go around killing all their enemies, do they?"

"So you just let them live?"

The woman laughed again. "Oh, by the kami, no! We kill… well, quite a lot, actually. But we try to only kill when the people have already killed, or are trying to kill us. Thieves, addicts, trespassers—them we try to keep alive. Makes for a real good reputation, you know—all sorts of people are willing to work with us when they'd turn tail at the slightest hint of any other ninja."

.

Minato started giggling to himself.

He didn't mean to, but there it was.

He was a genius.

It hadn't—

He hadn't planned it, at first, it had just slipped out.

The Daimyo had raised the tax on tobacco, and shinobi after shinobi after shinobi came to him, personally, to ask him to intercede, at least get an exception for shinobi.

Minato had tried pointing them to the legislature, but that hadn't worked.

So then—

It had just slipped out.

He'd been stressed, overworked, exhausted, trying to keep Konoha on track—

And it had just slipped out.

"Fine. Get us peace with Kumo, and I'll agree."

"Fine. Get us peace with Iwa, and I'll agree."

"Fine. Get us peace, and I'll agree."

That had shut them up.

And now—

Hours later—

He finally understood just how much of a genius he was.

Nothing was getting Iwa or Kumo to back down, and Minato couldn't understand why, couldn't understand how to change it.

But if he started saying that for everything, for all the little nonsense people asked him for—

Well, then they'd have to figure it out, wouldn't they?

And it wouldn't be his problem anymore!

He was such a genius.

.

It took Kushina a moment to realize what had woken her up, and then she sighed.

That cackling…

Didn't sound healthy.

(What cackling did?)

And Minato was still laughing.

Well, if he was too sleep-deprived to go to sleep himself, she'd just have to drag him to bed kicking and screaming (or, more accurately, laughing like a schoolgirl).

The things she was willing to do for love.

.

Sakura was pissed.

She glared at Iwa's new BINGO book, demanding it tell her something different.

The page stayed the same.

Yamanaka Sakura, with her picture.

B-ranked threat, due to her combat fuuinjutsu.

S-ranked bounty, due to her role in Konoha's technological advancement.

It wasn't—

She was fine with the B-ranked threat.

Hell, most people in Konoha didn't even know that she was still training, still working to improve.

She was fine with the B-ranked threat.

The S-ranked bounty was the issue.

She'd never be let out of Konoha's walls again!

Forget that, she just knew she'd end up with an ANBU guard.

(Just the thought made her check and realize with perhaps too much gloom that she already had one.)

…Inoichi was probably going to want to stick one on her too, especially given his overprotectiveness since Kohana—

Since she got kidnapped.

(It was fine, Sakura reminded herself. It was fine.

(Except it still didn't feel fine.

(She'd already made so many changes, and what if one misstep—one slight error—led to Kohana dying? Led to any of her loved ones dying?)

Actually, he'd definitely want to put guards on her siblings, and Ibiki.

And all of that—

B-ranked threat, S-ranked bounty.

They really, truly wanted her dead.

Shit.

.

ANBU Otter kneeled in front of Minato.

Minato waited with bated breath.

"The plan is working, Hokage. Suna will fall."