Chapter 4 – Twisted Past, Twisted Emotions


Paine threw the boat keeper a line to their airboat. The three girls arrived back in Kilika none too happy. With their sphere a resounding disappointment, the girls decided to go party in Kilika for the rest of the day. Rikku felt they deserved a break, with Paine nominally agreeing. The girls walked down the pier and into town. Evening approached, and the denizens were closing shops and heading home for the night. Coming out of a large building down the road, Brother and Buddy signaled to the girls.

"I hope they found a decent place for us to stay," expressed Rikku, waving back to Brother and Buddy.

Brother immediately walked up to Yuna. "How did your search go, Yuna?"

"Uh, well, not so good," she replied dismally.

"Oh, what went wrong? Didn't you find a sphere?" inquired Buddy, seeing the disappointment equal in Rikku and Paine's eyes.

Rikku started, "No, we found a sphere . . ."

". . . but it isn't worth a gil," finished Paine.

Brother folded his arms. "Drat! And I spent so much time getting us accommodations. I guess I will cancel."

"Oh no, we're gonna party our letdown away in Kilika tonight!" exclaimed Rikku, strutting around Brother.

"What!" grumbled Brother. "Just don't spend all our money. I'm not—"

"Made of gil, we know," Paine replied sarcastically.

"Crid ib! Tuh'd sulg sa!" yelled Brother, who once again did his famous sulking away act.

Yuna chuckled. "Poor Brother."

"Hey, I have an idea," Rikku blurted out randomly.

"I'd start running now." Paine further encouraged with a flick of her finger.

"It's not like that," argued Rikku. "Since we're here, why don't we visit Dona?"

Yuna smiled. "Oh, Rikku, that's a great idea! I wonder how she and Barthello are getting along?"

Rikku shrugged. "Hopefully, they are better than they were the last time we were here."

Yuna and Rikku laughed, and even Paine cracked a smile. Dona lived just a couple of houses from where they stood. Although Yuna insisted on using polite manners and knocking first, Rikku rushed ahead and barged into Dona's house.

"Rikku? Yuna?" Dona said, surprised at their sudden intrusion. "Don't you know it's prudent to knock before you enter someone's home?"

"Sorry," apologized Yuna, pointing to Rikku. "You can't really control this one."

Rikku grinned widely at Dona, who rolled her eyes. She motioned for the girls to have a seat at the stools around the center support beam of her house. Yuna gazed around the home, surprised by how organic and natural the furniture and decor filling the room looked. It blended in well with the general architecture and style of Kilika, just not with Dona herself, in Yuna's opinion. Her mind drifted back to the first time she met the former summoner in Kilika Temple. Dona's ego and condescending attitude astounded her at the time. Yuna could still hear her words—so, you're High Summoner Braska's daughter. That's quite a name to live up to. My, my, my . . . and all these people are your guardians? My, what a rabble! Over the course of her pilgrimage and after Sin's destruction, thankfully Dona had warmed up to Yuna.

Dona poured herself a drink. "Since you're here, tell me what brings the Gullwings to Kilika again?"

"We picked up a sphere signal on an island near here, and we came to investigate," explained Yuna, while sitting on one of Dona's uncomfortable wooden stools.

Dona motioned to each Gullwing with her bottle, continuing to pour the liquid regardless of the answer received. "Interesting. Did you already look for it?"

"Yes, we even found it, but the sphere isn't very useful."

"Aw, sorry to hear. But, since you're in Kilika, you might as well enjoy yourself."

Rikku nodded vigorously, thinking back to the image of Brother sulking. "That's why we're still here!"

"Also, since we are here," continued Yuna. "We thought we would come and visit."

Dona smiled. "I'm glad you did. Ever since the tense conflict between New Yevon and the Youth League diffused, things have been monotonous as of late."

"Isn't that what you want?" asked Paine.

"Of course. It's good for Spira to not be at each other's throats in a war. Even so, it's not like the fire isn't still fuming. New Yevon never truly answered for their misdeeds. They're just as deceitful as Yevon was."

"I wouldn't say that," said Yuna. "We've bet Baralai many times. He might be a bit aloof and stoic, but I haven't noticed any deceit in his words."

Dona's gaze sharpened. "Maybe not, but the world needs to move on completely from the lies of Yevon. No good can come from being stuck in a past that is never coming back."

"You do have a point. New Yevon hiding spheres in the temple was a dumb idea," Paine grumbled.

Yuna started to open her mouth to fire off a retort, but Dona's words struck a chord inside of her. She found herself reflecting on her pursuit of Tidus. Was her chasing of old spheres and cherished memories of the man she loved a pursuit worth undertaking? He exchanged his life for Spira's freedom from Sin, and a part of Yuna couldn't let go of him. Since that fateful day when Rikku showed her the sphere discovered in Mt. Gagazet, Yuna embraced the idea of bringing him back. She clung to the past because she never expressed all of the trauma it caused her. She had saved the world and gave everyone in it a new future—except herself. Much like New Yevon, she hid secrets for good reason, not wanting to burden those around her.

Yuna's CommSphere started buzzing with the sound of Brother's voice. "Yuna, are you there?"

"Oh? Go ahead, Brother. What is it?" she asked.

"Shinra says you should come back to the ship. He discovered something about the sphere you found today."

Puzzled as to what Shinra could have possibly uncovered, she signaled back to Brother that they would return shortly. A curious look crossed Dona's face as she folded her arms tightly in front of her.

"What was that about? Is Brother being a nag again?" asked Rikku.

"No, no," she replied. "He said Shinra found some kind of information out about the sphere we captured earlier today."

"No kidding," replied Paine while rubbing her chin. "I can't believe he actually found something interesting out of that thing."

"I don't know, he just said to come back to the Celsius," she said, then looked over at Dona. "I apologize for cutting our visit short. Perhaps you'll want to meet us again later tonight?"

Dona bobbed her head. "Sure, no problem. Maybe I'll even drag Barthello along if he shuts up about New Yevon long enough."

Yuna chuckled, recalling the chaos that ensued when fiends had burst out of the temple. The Youth League accused New Yevon of concealing secrets inside the temple, much like Yevon had inside Bevelle. The two factions nearly collided in a full-fledged war. Just like the Gullwings, Dona and her lover Barthello fell prey to the conflicting factions. Poor Barthello, as much as he loved New Yevon, he loved Dona more. Yuna felt a tinge of sadness for him.

She nodded and got up from the stool with the other girls following suit. She still couldn't figure out what in the world Shinra could have come up with from that sphere. Maybe he discovered the identity of the mysterious woman. Her name seemed so familiar as if Yuna had heard it before. It agitated her that she couldn't place the name. Arriving at the Celsius, they took the lift up, hustling straight to the bridge. Truly intrigued as to what Shinra had discovered, each of the girls laid out their hypothesis to each other on the walk through the ship. Upon entering the bridge, they were greeted by Brother flapping his arms.

"Alright, enough with the suspense," barked Rikku, almost overcome with anticipation. "What is this amazing discovery Shinra made?"

Shinra glared at Brother, who hung his head. "It isn't that important, but I've made some fairly interesting finds."

"Eh?" yelled Rikku. "That's it—fairly interesting? Brother made it sound super important."

"Sorry, I thought it was important!" exclaimed Brother, throwing his hands into the air.

"Anyway, since you're all here, I might as well explain what I found," spoke Shinra. "First, the place you viewed from the sphere is not the island where you found it."

"Oh, it wasn't?" asked Yuna.

"Nope. See here," continued Shinra, bringing up a frozen image of the sphere. "The architecture of those buildings in the background matches that of Bevelle a thousand years ago."

"Whoa, really? How do you know?" asked Rikku, leaning her head uncomfortably close to Shinra.

"I looked it up in a book," he replied dully, getting a smug look back from her. "Therefore, how this sphere, and that machina for that matter, got to the island is a real mystery. From the data I saw on the sphere, that machina looked like a rare defender model. Probably used to guard something of value. Not sure why it was on the loose in Bevelle after this woman."

"Speaking of her," inquired Yuna, who couldn't help herself. "Did you find out anything about her?"

"I was getting there," Shinra replied, clearing out his throat. "Allow me to show you, or rather, allow me to allow you to listen to who she may be. You've heard her name before."

The girls just gave Shinra a blank look of puzzlement, having no idea what he was talking about. Yuna felt a cramp in her stomach, agitated by the fact that she should know more about this woman and hadn't realized it.

He signed. "Somehow I'm not surprised. Here, just listen!"

After a few screeches and zaps, the sound of the unseen man's voice played again, this time much clearer.

"Please come here! Don't go down that way! Lenne!"

"That was a high-resolution version of what you listened to. Anything sound familiar now?" questioned Shinra, looking straight at Yuna.

"Could it be . . . it sounds like him. Is it, Shinra?" Yuna asked in exasperation.

Shinra didn't say anything and simply played a clip from his database.

"You know, you're all I can count on to save Lenne."

Yuna gasped and a wave of memories rushed into her head. That's where she heard the name before. It was from him, the man who could be Tidus. Why did he know her? Then the real question popped into her mind: how did he know her? If she truly did live a thousand years ago, she had long since died. Still, he clearly called her name.

Shinra spoke once again, jolting Yuna out of her haze. "Comparing the voice from the Crimson Sphere, and the voice from what I'll call the 'Tonberry Sphere,' I'd say they're a 75% match. It seems they may have been spoken by the same person."

"Is that possible?" asked Paine, finally speaking.

"I have no idea," Shinra replied, his expression honest to his incomplete understanding. "I can't give much of an explanation."

"I don't get it at all," mumbled Rikku while rubbing her chin. "What do you think, Yunie?"

Yuna was not there to receive her question, to Rikku's surprise.

"Huh? Yunie, where'd ya go?"

Everyone looked around, completely dumbfounded as to where Yuna had vanished. She had heard enough of this Lenne, whoever she was. Her life ended long ago, now relegated to an image on a sphere. The sound of his voice calling her name continued to echo in Yuna's mind. None of made any sense to Yuna, no matter how she tried to process it.

A mix of feelings stirred inside her, creating a raging tonic too hard for her to swallow. She ambled off the ship and down the pier. Her head hung low, and her hands were behind her back. Nearly nighttime, a crowd filled Kilika with raucous activity. The remaining sliver of sun held heavy on the ocean's horizon, casting ripples of yellow and orange against the dark, blue water. The shadow of a lone seagull flying just over the ripples of the sea reflected on the water. It doves down at a fish at the surface, snatching in its beak its dinner before soaring away.

She walked aimlessly until she found an empty pier at the end of the docks. Darkness cast a shroud over her where she could hide alone. While she normally liked to talk with others, and especially about other people's problems, she struggled to express her own. Sitting down at the end of the pier, Yuna removed her boots and paddled her feet in the water. Even at night, the water warmed her skin. She arched her head back to look up at the sky then closed her eyes. Drawing in a deep breath, she held it for a moment before slowly blowing it out.

Staring down at the dimly lit water, the image of Lenne haunted her. Yuna pondered about who she could have been, and how the man she believed was Tidus could have known her. Jealous of this mystery woman, Yuna couldn't filter Lenne's image out of her mind. The flow of Lenne's long, brown hair complemented her beautiful brown eyes perfectly. Although Lenne for her life, the elegant motion of her swaying body stuck in Yuna's mind. Whatever the reason for the woman's flight, Yuna felt an extra pang in her heart for her.

She clenched her hand into a fist. In reality, she had nothing to worry about, of course. Once again she paddled her feet in the water, gazing at the hazy slice of the sun disappearing from the horizon. The wavy streaks of purple, pink, orange, and blue paralleled the ripples of the ocean waves. A tear fell from her eye. She brushed it aside, but another soon followed. The cruelty of the past caught up to her. She missed Tidus so much and she had no remedy for her broken heart. It felt like a thousand years had passed since she last heard him speak to her.

She sniffled and whispered to herself, "I will find you again, Tidus. I will find you."