Chapter 83 – Words Left Unsaid


"Who's that?" asked Lenne after returning to her normal dress. "Someone you know?"

She quickly realized from the stunned faces of her friends, and even Isaaru, that this person's return weighed gravely on them. A chill ran down her spine while everyone looked at each other stunned.

Rikku finally spoke. "A monster."

"How could he have returned?" asked Issaru in a low voice.

The bewilderment antagonizing Lenne from being clueless about this person quickly melted away, molding into an ever-present fear. A dull crackling emitting from the CommSphere Rikku held in her hand interrupted the tense silence. Questions fluttered through Lenne's mind, but she withheld them. The look of horror plastered on her new friends' faces stayed her tongue.

Paine broke the uneasy silence. "Could it have been because of those spheres and the crazy scientist's machina?"

Lenne gulped when all eyes drifted to her. "What do you mean?"

Rikku scratched her cheek. "Ya know, it's possible, I think. We really have no idea how that thing worked, or if it had any flaws in its design."

"So, you think when Shuyin activated it, somehow it made this Seymour come back?" asked Lenne.

"I really can't say for sure," replied Rikku. "Maybe Shinra can figure it out if he hasn't already."

"Then let's return to the ship and find out," Paine said.

Issaru nodded. "Anything to get me out of this dark place."

Though Lenne didn't articulate it, she couldn't have agreed with his sentiments more. A second excursion through the bleak, vile underground of her enemy's home city left her on the brink of madness. She clasped her hands behind her back, hiding the shaking that would otherwise be visible. Her jittery mind needed time to digest the hellish memories Bevelle dredged up within her—memories brought back to life.

Returning to the surface, the Gullwings brought Issaru back to the temple. A swarm of New Yevon acolytes quickly gathered around him, blaring out all manner of questions. He hesitated with a nervous smile spread across his face. Lenne went to speak up to quell the crowd's overwhelming enthusiasm, but they all hushed at the sight of Baralai approaching with his hand raised.

"Please, let him have a moment to breathe," he said.

Issaru perked up. "Oh, praetor, it is good to see you again!"

"The feeling is most certainly mutual," said Baralai. "I feared the worst when you disappeared."

"I apologize for making you worry. I wasn't in my right mind."

Baralai shook his head. "No need to apologize. You've been through quite the ordeal."

He gestured toward Lenne. "I have the Gullwings to thank for saving me. Lenne here lucked into finding me and rescued me from the darkness."

She smiled. "I doubt I would have been able to make it out myself if not for you, Issaru."

Baralai put a hand on both of their arms. "You have my gratitude, Lenne."

"Have you heard the news?" asked Paine while folding her arms.

"I have." Baralai's expression immediately turned stark. "By now, I'm sure a majority of Spira knows."

"It sounds too crazy to be true," blurted Rikku.

He sighed. "I can barely comprehend it myself. The city is chattering about Seymour's supposed resurrection."

"What do we do about it?"

"I'm not sure," he responded. "For now, there isn't anything to do."

"Surely you don't think he's not going to be a danger to Spira," Paine said.

He shrugged. "We have no idea what this version of Seymour is capable of right now. Lenne hasn't been a threat to anyone."

She felt her chest tighten the instant Baralai motioned towards her. Though she had no knowledge of the person he referred to, she could feel the apprehension in Baralai's voice even mentioning the name out loud. It mirrored the disdain shot from the tongues of those who spoke of her beloved Shuyin. The association between her lover and Seymour pricked at her like a thousand needles. She felt like she needed no knowledge of Seymour's history to understand the hurt he inflicted upon Spira in the past.

Rikku rubbed her nose. "But Lenne wasn't a threat to anyone in the past. Seymour was twisted his whole life. I bet he's no different now."

Her friend's words warmed Lenne's heart a little, brushing aside some of the trepidation eating away at her. She noticed a burning fury in Rikku's eyes, something she hadn't seen before from the Al Bhed woman. Rikku's dynamic personality always slanted towards the capricious and not someone that typically spewed vitriol.

"What else could come out of the woodwork and surprise us?" barked Paine. "This is insane!"

"I wouldn't ask that question too loudly," said Issaru.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "This is just great! How are we supposed to save Yunie if we have to worry about Seymour?"

Lenne watched her friends banter back and forth. Both Rikku and Paine seemed unable to come to a consensus. In the end, they could only agree on returning to the Celsius. Neither one of them spoke another word while exiting the former temple. Another chill ran down Lenne's spine from the aura of fear radiating out of her friends.

Golden rays beaming down from above cast away the goosebumps protruding from the skin on her cold arms. Lenne let out a long sigh and squinting as she looked up. Spots of thin, wispy clouds dotted an otherwise clear view of the blue sky. She thanked the sky for greeting her with warm sunshine. Most of her tortured existence persisted in places without sunlight. Between the darkness in the underbelly of Bevelle, inside her sphere, and the Farplane, she yearned to stand in the warm light forever. It made her forget her struggles, and even Shuyin, just for a few precious moments.

When her mind returned to the present, Lenne realized her friends had rushed off ahead of her. Gazing out over the calm waters surrounding Bevelle, she felt no urgency to return to the Celsius. The airship provided her with the only semblance of home she had at this time, but she longed to return to Zanarkand. Shaking her head, she forced herself to focus on the threats of the present and not her feelings.

Her mind flooded with thoughts surrounding the return of Seymour. His renewed presence in Spira pained everyone—especially Rikku. Her spiraled emerald eyes held such disdain and fear at the mentioning of his name that it shook Lenne. She had seen that same look in the eyes of many of her people during the war with Bevelle.

Stepping closer to the edge, she looked down on the city below. Bevelle's citizens scurried like ants from this distance. Though a hazy familiarity struck Lenne, the city bore little resemblance to the enemy of her time. She closed her eyes and waded through the overabundance of emotions washing over her. Guilt again snaked its way through all the confusion, doubt, and tension roiling around inside her mind, bringing itself to the forefront.

Yuna often tried to clear her mind by calming herself internally, Lenne vaguely recalled. This technique offered little reprieve because Lenne's torrent of emotions unintentionally overwhelmed her friend. Now that same torrent thwarted her attempt at controlling the tempest raging inside her. She hated the irony of it all.

Deeply retreated within herself, Lenne didn't hear the footsteps approaching her from behind. A hand on her shoulder jolted her out of her trance. Looking beside her, Isaaru greeted her with a warm smile.

"Sorry to startle you," he said. "I noticed you hadn't left with the rest of the Gullwings."

She forced a smile. "No, I guess I've been a bit lost in thought."

"I can't image all of what's weighing on your mind."

"Honestly, this might be the first time I've really stopped to dwell on my thoughts. Not that it's helped me any."

He nodded. "Give yourself time."

She chuckled. "Time? I've had more than enough time . . . too much time perhaps. But I still have work to do."

"You mean getting Yuna and Shuyin back?" Isaaru asked.

"Of course! And now with this Seymour returning, I'm afraid of yet another enemy here to undermine me."

He placed his hand against his chin. "And you are concerned because you have no idea who Seymour is."

She sighed. "Yes."

"That's quite a lot to unpack, but I'll do my best to give you some insight," he stated.

Lenne listened intently as Isaaru stuttered around the dangerous enigma that was Seymour. From his harsh and tragic upbringing to his eventual destruction inside Sin, she stood speechless from the tale. Had she not held trust in Issaru, she would hardly believe one man could have caused so much upheaval in the world. She feared his resurrection foreshadowed a return of strife to Spira, just like Shuyin caused two years ago.

His story engrossed her so much that she lost her sense of time until she noticed the sun descending in the sky. A bold orange hue colored the sky just above the horizon, signaling the coming of dusk. Lenne thanked Isaaru for his time before he returned inside the old temple. She wrapped her arms around herself without thinking. With no one else to offer comfort, she had to seek it from herself. Lights in the buildings below lit up, shining like a sea of small dots far away. With the fading sunlight dimming the world around her, the cityscape started to look like a cluster of stars.

Walking away from the temple, she meandered her way back into the city proper. She found herself lost, unable to recall the path they took to reach New Yevon headquarters. Ghosts of the past played tricks on her mind—each time she thought she remembered the right way through the streets, a different building or dead end appeared.

To her surprise, her ears picked up someone calling her name. Peering through the crowd of people returning to their homes, she saw Rikku waving her arm in the air. Lenne's heart lifted at the sight of her new friend, and she ran over to her.

"Hiya, Lenne! We've been looking for you for a while now," said Rikku.

Lenne smiled. "Sorry, I was talking to Isaaru again and completely lost track of time."

"It's okay. Paine and I got so caught up that we didn't realize you weren't with us when we got back to the ship."

"I hope everyone isn't too worried," said Lenne. "I'm perfectly fine."

Rikku giggled. "We don't want to lose anyone else."

Though Lenne didn't believe Rikku intended for as much emotion to spill from her words, Lenne felt a pang in her heart. Rikku's words held much pain in them once she saw past the mask of laughter. For a moment, Lenne caught a glimpse of sorrow before Rikku returned to her normal, cheerful self.

"So, what were you chatting with Isaaru about?" she questioned.

"Well, he told me more about Seymour," explained Lenne.

Rikku's brow scrunched. "Whatever he told you about Seymour, that guy was even worse."

"You saw firsthand, didn't you?"

Rikku nodded. "Yeah, I was with Yunie during her pilgrimage. That rat tried to fool her, marry her, and kill her!"

Lenne didn't recall him mentioning that to her. "Um, what made him target Yuna?"

"Yunie found out Seymour killed his father, and then he tried to kill her. She was a threat to his power in Yevon."

"How did he obtain so much power and influence?" Lenne asked.

Rikku grunted. "He became a maester. All he did was weave his schemes while making everyone believe he was some benevolent soul. Though as it turned out, pretty much all the leaders of Yevon were rotten to the core."

"What did you expect from Bevelle?" blurted out Lenne.

Rikku looked at her blankly. "Huh?"

"Oh, sorry. I guess I'm still holding on to the past. It's hard to get passed being hunted and shot at."

Rikku sighed. "Maybe we all are, but who can blame us?"

Lenne opened her mouth to offer a word of comfort to Rikku but couldn't find the right words to say. She could tell her friend wrestled with an overwhelming onslaught of emotions. She drifted behind Rikku by a few steps, not wanting to make eye contact with her. Curling her hand into a fist, Lenne grunted and cursed under her breath. She didn't need to see her friend's expression to know she hurt inside.

She continued to walk behind Rikku in silence until they meandered their way back to the Celsius. Save for the bridge, the airship rested in near darkness. The wall of pillowy clouds above blotted out any chance for moonlight to pour onto the world below. A whispering breeze brushed against Lenne's hair, blowing some of its brown strands across her face.

Entering the airship, Lenne felt her chest squeeze around her heart while she stood next to Rikku in silence. Brushing her hair back, she pondered on something—anything, to say. The awkward, somber quiet between them ate away at her nerves. What would Yuna say at a time like this?

Lenne cleared her throat. "So . . . are you hungry?"

"Eh, not really," murmured Rikku.

"Maybe everyone is up on the bridge. Want to go have a chat?"

Rikku shook her head. "I kinda just want to be alone right now."

Lenne folded her arms. "I understand. But . . ."

"But what?" Rikku asked, looking over at Lenne.

She replied, "I know I'm not Yuna, but I've seen that expression before. Too many times to count. You can talk to me if you want."

Biting her lip, Rikku dipped her head. "Thanks, but you have enough on your mind. I don't need to burden you with my thoughts, too."

"Nonsense, I want to help," said Lenne, gently placing a hand on Rikku's shoulder. "The worst thing you can do is clam up, trust me."

Rikku sighed. "Yeah, you're right. Do you want to go up to the deck?"

"Sure." Lenne smiled. "It's a nice night out."

Rikku clicked the control panel, directing the lift to continue to the top of the Celsius. When the doors reopened, she watched Rikku aimlessly wander outside, slowly pacing around the deck. Unlike when they entered the airship, cracks in the cloud cover above had opened, allowing streams of moonlight to shine down. It revealed her friend's solemn expression every time she walked under the light.

Lenne stepped out of the lift and inhaled deeply, breathing in the crisp night air. She felt the icky remnants of the wretched air inside Bevelle's depths cleansed. Though her heart still ached, she resolved herself to be of help to Rikku. If she had to force herself to be the strong summoner she used to be, she would employ all her energy to do so.

Rikku stopped suddenly and turned to face her. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Oh, what's that?" Lenne asked.

"What was it like to live in Zanarkand?"

Folding her arms behind her back, she walked beside Rikku. "Incredible! The city always teemed with life in the day and sparkled with dazzling lights in the night. You had the opportunity to live how you wanted. Magic and machina coexisted. I could honestly spend all night talking about it."

"That sounds like what Tidus used to tell us. Except he lived in a dream version of the city," said Rikku.

"For what it's worth, it feels like a dream to me now."

Rikku folded her arms. "It's nothing now like what it must've been. It's just ruined buildings and fiends lurking around."

"I don't doubt that. So much was lost for nothing. The war between Zanarkand and Bevelle destroyed so many lives."

Rikku nodded. "You used to sing right?"

"I did. I was a songstress before I became a summoner," explained Lenne. "Performing for others made me happy. Especially during the war, when everyone needed a distraction. It was my way of providing them a respite."

Rikku grinned. "Well, of course! After seeing you sing with Yunie at the Thunder Plains two years ago, I see why everyone loved your performances."

"You flatter me." Lenne dropped her eyes away from Rikku. "Believe me, I would rather have sung instead of fought."

"They made you fight, huh?" Rikku questioned.

Lenne nodded. "I had to. Bevelle had more military might than Zanarkand. Everyone who could fight, especially summoners, was needed on the front lines."

"And that's what made Shuyin try to steal Vegnagun."

"Yeah, that's right. Shuyin hated me fighting. He was so afraid of losing me that he snuck his way into Bevelle."

Rikku sat down on the deck and stretched out her legs. "He really did love you to go to such lengths."

"I suppose he did," whispered Lenne. "At least at one time, he loved me."

Tapping her finger against her lip, Rikku said, "Whatever he is now, that love, or something like that, must be still driving him. Right?"

Lenne paced back and forth in front of her friend. "Does it? Yuna tried to convince me otherwise before, but I don't believe the Shuyin I loved exists anymore. Whatever remains is just a shadow."

"Hey, don't lose hope. If Yunie believed Shuyin still had some part of him left, then you must believe it, too," said Rikku.

"I've been trying," Lenne expressed before sitting down next to Rikku. "I'm just afraid . . ."

"Afraid of what?"

"That I'll have to destroy him in the end. He can't be allowed to continue to terrorize Spira."

Rikku sat quietly for a long moment before responding. "So, how did the two of you fall in love?"

Lenne folded her hands together in her lap. "Well, I don't fully remember anymore. We both enjoyed some fame—he was a blitzball player and I a songstress. Maybe we met at one of his matches or one of my concerts. It's all . . . fuzzy now."

Rikku pressed the question. "But what really made your love so powerful? I mean, you're still yearning for each other after a thousand years. Oh, and death, too!"

"I know he cared for me very deeply. He was always such a gentleman, buying me flowers after my performances. Oh, and he loved to write me letters," answered Lenne.

"Lucky you!"

Lenne chuckled. "Yeah, I was. He talked about us spending a life together where we didn't have to always be in the limelight. As much as he loved blitzball, he was ready to give it up to be with me. We sat, kind of like this, on many nights talking about our future together."

"Did Yunie sense any of these feelings?"

"I don't know. I think my feelings got so mixed up with hers, that she couldn't keep any of it straight."

Rikku looked up at the sky. "Do you still love him just as much now?"

"That's something I can't answer. Not honestly, anyway," replied Lenne. "I don't know if it's Shuyin I love, or the memories of our past that I still love."

"He must still love you," Rikku said.

"He has too much anger and hate in his heart to truly be the man I loved. He just lusts for a past stolen from us."

"That's awful. Don't think that, Lenne!" Rikku cried.

Clutching her hands into fists, Lenne's brow furrowed. "What else can I think? If he truly loved me, he wouldn't become a monster and kill innocent people. I thought telling him I loved him one last time would let him rest."

"What do you mean?"

Lenne curled together, resting her chin on her knees. "I knew we weren't making it out of Bevelle alive. The soldiers surrounding us shot at us. We both fell to the ground. I still remember my whole body going numb. The last time I looked at him, I told Shuyin I loved him."

Rikku gasped. "You don't know he never heard you?"

"Huh? Never heard me?"

"Yeah, Yunie told me one time that Shuyin died before hearing your words of love for him."

A tremor raced through every nerve in Lenne's body. She felt her skin burn, and the saliva in her mouth dry up. Her heart skipped a beat at the realization that her final declaration went unheard. Shuyin died before he knew she loved him.

Tears ran down Lenne's cheeks. "I never knew. Sure, it was understood how we felt about each other. I never said the words out loud to him, except at the end . . ."

"Then he never knew," said Rikku. "Oh, Lenne, he never really knew!"

Lenne's lips trembled. "Is that why he turned into such a horrible creature? Is it my fault?"

"Hey, don't think like that! You're not to blame!" shouted Rikku.

Burying her face into her knees, Lenne wept. For an uncountable number of years, she believed Shuyin heard her words and departed knowing he and he alone held her heart. Guilt stabbed at her mind from all directions. She wanted to rip her heart out of her chest. A torrent of unendurable pain wracked her to the point of breaking. She cried not just for herself, but for her forsaken lover—driven mad by the three words he never heard in life.

Lenne vaguely felt Rikku's arm wrap around her shoulders in a moment of quiet comfort. The tears, even though they were mired in immense pain, felt liberating. A thousand years of unrequited love and terminal misery unwound itself on top of the Celsius. The seconds turned into minutes, but eventually, her tears receded. With one last, long exhale, Lenne felt a calm return to her.

Through her watery eyes, she looked to her right, connecting gazes with Rikku. The moonlight reflected in the spirals of her pupils. The pain Rikku harbored, while not as strong or old as Lenne's, mirrored how she felt. She knew then that she must put everything right.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay," Rikku whispered.

Lenne hinted at a smile. "I know. It's time to end all of this suffering. Shuyin and I need to rest."

"How can I help?"

"Help me bring him and Yuna back. I think if we do that, we can fix everything else," said Lenne.

The lights on the airship all turned on at once, flashing bright lights all over the deck. Lenne yelped, startled by the unexpected roar of the ship's engines revving to life. She felt its vibrations course through the metal hull of the ship.

Brother's voice blared over the CommSphere. "Rikku? Lenne? Where are you guys?"

"Hey! We're just up on the deck. What's up?" replied Rikku.

"Big trouble! Seymour was sighted at Mt. Gagazet!"

Rikku's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "Gagazet? Oh no, Kimahri!"

"You know he must want to finish off the Ronso!" he added.

"Then we better be going to help!" Rikku yelled.

Brother grunted. "You know it! Now get inside so we can go kick his ass!"