THIRTEEN
The moment I told Rosalie, I watched her face crumble. Her eyes filled with tears, and before I knew it, she was crying—really crying—into my arms. I held her tightly, letting her sadness pour out because I knew she was feeling everything I was too afraid to let myself feel.
"Rosie, I'm so sorry," I whispered, stroking her hair, my own tears threatening to spill over.
Rosalie pulled back slightly, her eyes red and full of pain. "No, don't you dare apologise," she said, shaking her head. "This isn't fair, Bella. It's not fair that you have to go through this again." She buried her face in my shoulder, her body trembling with sobs.
I held her tighter, wishing I could say something to make it better, but there were no words that could fix this. After a while, Rosalie's tears slowed, and she took a shaky breath, looking at me with a fierce determination in her eyes.
"What are you going to do?" she asked, her voice still thick with emotion.
"I need to go see my dad," I said, wiping at my own damp cheeks. "I have to break the news to him in person. And then I'll call my mom while I'm there. So I can tell them together. They need to hear it from me at the same time."
Rosalie nodded, squeezing my hand. "You don't have to do this alone. I'll come with you, you know that, right?"
I gave her a small smile, grateful beyond words for her support. "I know. But this is something I have to do on my own."
She nodded again, her eyes softening with understanding, but then she bit her lip, glancing at me with a hesitant look. "What about Edward? Have you told him?"
I shook my head, feeling the familiar weight of fear settle in my chest. "I'm not ready to tell him, Rose," I said quietly. "I'm terrified. I don't want him to feel obligated to stick around, and I don't want him to see me like this. I don't want to drag him into something he never signed up for."
Rosalie cupped my face in her hands, her eyes locking onto mine with a fierceness I'd rarely seen. "Bella, you have to tell him," she said firmly. "You can't keep this from him. He cares about you so much, and he deserves to know."
I swallowed hard, my heart aching at the thought. "I'm just so scared," I admitted, my voice cracking. "What if he looks at me differently? What if he doesn't want to deal with all of this?"
Rosalie's expression softened, and she hugged me again, holding me like she was never going to let go. "He cares for you, Bella," she whispered. "And if he's worth half of what I think he is, he'll fight right alongside you. Just… don't shut him out, okay?"
I nodded into her shoulder, knowing she was right but still feeling the fear twisting in my stomach. I wasn't ready to lose Edward, not now. Not when I'd just started to find something real with him.
After a few days of being off the grid, I finally returned, the weight of my parents' reactions still heavy in my chest. Telling Charlie and Renee had been hard. Charlie's face had fallen, the stoic mask he always wore cracking before me. Renee, on the other hand, was emotional, as always—tears streaming down her face, promises to come see me over the coming weeks.
When I arrived at the house, I could see how much progress had been made. The place was really starting to come together, and seeing the changes gave me a small sense of accomplishment. As I walked up the steps, I spotted Edward inside, talking to an electrician about hockey. He was in his element, gesturing animatedly, his whole face lighting up as he spoke.
The second he saw me, his eyes locked onto mine, and he broke into a wide smile. "Hey, stranger," he called out, jogging over to me. Without hesitating, he pulled me into a hug, and I sank into it, feeling the tension in my body melt away for just a moment.
"Why haven't you replied to my messages?" he asked, his voice soft and full of concern as he pulled back slightly to look at me.
I forced a small smile and shrugged, trying to keep my voice steady. "I just… had a few things to figure out."
He nodded, his gaze never leaving mine, and then, in that gentle way he always had, he reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His touch was so tender that it made my chest ache. He didn't push me for more information, respectful of my boundary.
"Well, I'm glad you're back," he said, his eyes searching mine. "I missed you."
I felt a pang of guilt settle in my stomach. I wasn't ready to tell him about the cancer yet, but for now, being here with him, wrapped in his warmth, was enough to keep the fear at bay.
I glanced around the house, taking in all the progress that had been made. The walls were smooth, the flooring gleamed, and everything was starting to look exactly like I'd imagined. "Wow," I said, nodding in approval. "This place looks amazing."
Edward's eyes lit up with mischief as he clapped his hands together. "About that," he said, giving me a mock-serious look. "I was thinking we could put a neon sign of a stripper on a pole in the dining room. You know, really set the mood."
I stared at him, my jaw dropping in utter shock. "What?!"
He held the serious expression for a beat longer, then couldn't contain it anymore—he burst out laughing, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Oh, Bella," he said, still chuckling. "You should've seen your face!"
I let out a relieved laugh, smacking his arm playfully. "You're such an idiot!" I said, rolling my eyes, but I couldn't help smiling. His laughter was infectious, and for the first time in days, I felt a little lighter, like maybe everything wasn't entirely hopeless.
"Got to keep you on your toes," he said with a wink, and I couldn't help but think how much I'd missed this—missed him.
I gave Edward a playful smirk, an idea forming in my mind. "You know," I said, "I have this amazing store in mind for the furniture. I'd love to take you there."
His eyebrows arched with interest, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Oh, really? I'm game," he said. "Actually, I've got some time now. I'm heading out of town for a few days tomorrow, so this is perfect."
I felt a flutter of excitement at the idea of spending more time with him before he left. "Great! Let's go, then," I said, giving him a grin. "Prepare to be blown away."
Edward chuckled, shaking his head as he grabbed his jacket. "Lead the way, Swan. Let's see what you've got."
As we walked through the store, I could see the surprise and appreciation in Edward's eyes. The furniture was classic but with just the right hint of a modern bachelor vibe—deep brown leathers, rich dark wood, and a cozy feel that didn't try too hard. It was stylish, but not in a way that screamed 'single guy's pad.' It was perfect.
"This place is incredible," he said, running his hand over the smooth surface of a walnut coffee table. "I never would've thought to come here. You've got great taste, Bells."
I felt a blush creeping up my neck, but I tried to play it cool. "Well, I have to make sure this house suits you," I teased. "Can't have you living in a place that doesn't match your… vibe."
Edward smirked at that, and every chance he got, he found an excuse to touch me—whether it was brushing his hand against mine as we looked at a couch or placing his hand on my lower back as he guided me through the aisles. Every little touch sent sparks through me, making it harder to focus on the task at hand.
At one point, he slid his arm around my waist, pulling me a little closer as we looked at a set of leather armchairs. "I think these would look amazing in front of the fireplace," he said, his voice low and warm in my ear.
I swallowed hard, my breath hitching at the way he held me, the scent of his cologne filling my senses. "Yeah," I said, my voice a little breathless. "They'd be perfect."
Edward's smile softened as he looked at me, his eyes filled with something I couldn't quite name, but it made my heart race all the same. And as much as I tried to focus on the furniture, all I could think about was how close we were, how every touch felt like it was leading to something more.
I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep denying how I felt about him—or how much longer I even wanted to.
As we continued to explore the store, Edward's hand never strayed far from mine, his touches so casual yet deliberate, and for a moment, it was like I wasn't sick at all. He made me feel normal—like just another person choosing furniture for a future that wasn't shadowed by illness.
He was the last person in my life who didn't look at me with pity, who didn't treat me like I was fragile. And as much as I knew I needed to tell him, I wasn't ready to let go of this feeling just yet. I wasn't ready to see that look in his eyes change, to feel the weight of his sympathy or the burden of his worry.
So, I kept smiling, laughing at his jokes, and letting myself get lost in the warmth of his touch, pretending—if only for a little while—that everything was okay.
As we left the furniture store, Edward's hand found the small of my back, guiding me towards his car. The simple touch sent a shiver through me, and I found myself leaning into him slightly.
"So," he said, a playful glint in his eye, "since I'm heading out of town tomorrow, how about we grab dinner? I know this great little Italian place not far from here."
My heart skipped a beat at the invitation. Part of me wanted to say yes immediately, to spend every possible moment with him before he left. But another part—the part weighed down by my secret—hesitated.
"I don't know, Edward," I said, biting my lip. "I've got a lot of work to catch up on, and—"
"Come on, Bella," he interrupted gently, his green eyes soft and pleading. "It's just dinner. I promise I won't keep you out too late.I'd really like to spend some more time with you before I go."
His words, coupled with the warmth in his gaze, melted my resolve. I found myself nodding before I could think better of it. "Okay," I said, a small smile tugging at my lips. "Dinner sounds nice."
Edward's face lit up with a grin that made my heart flutter. "Great," he said, opening the car door for me. "You're going to love this place."
The restaurant was indeed lovely—a cozy, dimly lit space with soft Italian music playing in the background. We were seated at a small table in a quiet corner, and as I looked at the menu, I couldn't help but feel a sense of normalcy wash over me.
"So," Edward said, his eyes finding mine over the top of his menu, "you went to visit your Dad? Was he well?"
I hesitated for a moment, the weight of my recent conversations with my parents pressing down on me. "He's... okay," I said carefully, trying to keep my voice steady. "Charlie - he's not one for big displays of emotion."
Edward nodded, his eyes softening with understanding. "And your mom? Did you get to see her too?"
I shook my head, feeling a lump form in my throat. "No, I just called her. But she's planning to visit soon."
Edward reached across the table, his hand covering mine. The warmth of his touch sent a flutter through my chest. "Is everything alright, Bella? You seem... I don't know, distracted maybe?"
I forced a smile, hoping it looked more convincing than it felt. "I'm fine, really. Just a lot on my mind with the house and work."
He didn't look entirely convinced. But he didn't push.
Our meal was sweet. The conversation was light and when he walked me back to the car he opened my door for me. Before he let me get in he pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.
As Edward's lips met mine, I felt a surge of warmth spread through my body. The kiss was gentle, tender, and over far too quickly. When he pulled away, his eyes were soft, searching mine with a mixture of affection and concern.
"Bella," he said softly, his hand cupping my cheek. "I know something's bothering you. I won't push, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. Whatever it is, you can talk to me."
His words, filled with such genuine care, made my heart ache. I wanted so badly to tell him everything, to let him in completely. But the fear of losing him, of seeing that look of pity in his eyes, held me back.
"Thank you, Edward," I whispered, leaning into his touch. "That means a lot to me."
He smiled, brushing his thumb across my cheek.
"Will I get a picture to see me off tonight like last time?" he smirks, changing the mood.
I felt a blush creep up my cheeks at the memory of the last photo I'd sent him. Feeling a surge of boldness, I decided to play along.
"Maybe," I said with a coy smile. "If you're lucky."
Edward's eyes darkened slightly, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Oh, I'm feeling very lucky tonight," he murmured, leaning in close.
His proximity was intoxicating, and for a moment, I forgot about everything else. I forgot about the cancer, about my fears, about the uncertain future. All I could focus on was Edward, the warmth of his body so close to mine, the intensity in his eyes.
"We'll see," I whispered back, my heart racing.
Edward chuckled softly, then pressed another quick kiss to my lips before we got into his car.
That night I sent him a mirror selfie after my shower. Dropping the towel to my hips, I cover my bust with my arm.
I hesitated for a moment before hitting send, my heart racing. The photo was more daring than anything I'd sent before.
"One of these days you're going to have to man up and undress me yourself," I type out.
My phone buzzed almost immediately after I sent the message. Edward's reply flashed across the screen:
"Believe me, I'm looking forward to it. You're beautiful, Bella. Can't wait to see you when I get back."
His words sent a thrill through me, a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. I fell back onto my bed, clutching my phone to my chest, a smile playing on my lips despite the underlying worry that never quite left me these days.
As I lay there, my mind drifted to thoughts of Edward's hands on me, his lips exploring my skin. The fantasy was both exhilarating and terrifying. How could I let him get close to me, knowing what was happening to my body? How could I drag him into this mess?
But another part of me, a selfish part, wanted to cling to these moments of normalcy, of desire and passion.
