It had been several weeks since Sango had last seen Miroku, though she had heard plenty of him from Shima, who had taken it upon herself to come to visit every two to three days, just to advise Sango of how her relationship was growing… not with Miroku, no with Yura and Mrs. Hoshi.

Yet when she suddenly stopped arriving, Sango thought little of it, other than to sigh in relief at not having to be faced with the truth of her situation. In all honesty, if Miroku had not been involved, Shima is someone that Sango thought she could find herself being true friends with, unfortunately, though, Sango felt a slight resentment towards the girl, one she knew she should not feel, but she found herself unable to quell it.

That was, until Kaede came rushing in, Rin at her side one morning.

"Well, Miss Higurashi, have you heard the news?" Rin bubbled, interrupting Kaede who had just opened her mouth to speak.

"I… well, I am not sure what you are talking about, so I would suppose not." Sango puzzled, looking between the two women as Kagome stepped up beside her.

"Oh, it is quite the scandal! I am surprised it has not made it here to you, London is all abuzz about it."

"Rin, my dear," Kaede coughed, and her daughter went silent, her cheeks flushing slightly.

"What are you talking about?" Kagome demanded, her attention focused on Kaede.

"Well, I had met Rin for our weekly promenade, and I heard several of the families around, speaking about Mrs. Higurashi's despair."

"My mother?" Sango was puzzled, for last she had known her mother was still in Devonshire, far from London.

"No, the other Mrs. Higurashi." Rin was bouncing as she stood in her excitement.

"Yura? Is she alright?" Kagome gasped, her hand coming to Sango's shoulder. While neither sister held much love for their brother's wife, that did not mean they wanted any ill to befall her.

"That is what I asked my dear," Kaede nodded, "is Mrs. Yura Higurashi ill? And the answer was such a shock I tell you."

"Oh wait until you hear it, Miss Higurashi, Kagome." Rin bubbled.

"Yes, yes, please do go on." Now that her concern for Yura had passed, Kagome's irritation at the length of time the story was taking was beginning to show.

"Well, it seems that the family has found out that Mr. Miroku Hoshi, the same Mr. Hoshi that I used to tease you about my dear," Kaede nodded to Sango before continuing, has been engaged to Miss Shima Metzer for these past FOUR YEARS!"

Sango froze, stunned, as Kagome gasped behind her, a whispered "no" falling from her lips.

"Oh yes!" Rin continued for her mother, "And apparently not a creature knew except the two of them and her sister, but you know how Botan is with talking! Apparently when she was over for lunch one day, Shima out and about town, Botan accidentally let it slip to both Mrs. Higurashi and Mrs. Hoshi! The rumor on the street is that Botan was chased out of the house, Yura threatening her with a shoe as she ran!"

"Oh it is even more than that," Kaede picked up the tale, "for as she left the house in a rush, Botan ran right into Shima, who was ascending the steps, knocking both sisters right to the ground."

"I heard that Mrs. Higurashi was screaming at them both, uncaring that they were now on the street, about charlatans and harlots, coming to steal her brother's future and their fortune." Rin giggled, excited to share the latest gossip with the two women, unaware of how the news was impacting them both.

Kagome's hand came to rest on Sango's back, her fingers clasping at her sister's gown as Sango forced herself to breathe.

"Everyone was talking about how the Metzger's are now no longer welcome at the Hoshi residence, and given how powerful the family is, that means almost no other family will take them in and they are having to move to an inn. An INN, can you imagine?" Rin continued as she turned to her mother. "I am waiting for them to come to us to ask us to take them in, could you imagine?"

"What of Miroku Hoshi?" Sango whispered as she looked to Rin for a response.

"That's the thing. No one has seen him. But I cannot say he will be happy, with his love being treated so poorly by his own family. Indeed, they were forced to stay on the street under the guard of the butler while the maids quickly packed their belongings and threw them onto the street with them."

"Those poor girls." Kagome whispered as her head lowered to Sango's shoulder. Sango found herself unable to think of any response, anything to say.

"I suppose they will move back to their Uncle's house now," Kaede considered, "I do not believe they would be willing to show their face in public now."

"Oh but surely, Mamma, they will be staying at least until things are resolved with Mr. Hoshi, if he and Shima were to marry then they would have to be accepted at the house." Rin gasped.

"Would they though?" Kaede lifted a brow at the thought. "Knowing Mrs. Hoshi as I do, I cannot say that it may end well if Shima were to try and force that."

"You aren't suggesting…"

"Indeed I am. Not everyone would be as thrilled at their child making a love match as I was with you my dear. And it is well known that Mrs. Hoshi is focused primarily on standing and wealth, and if you have neither you are beneath her attention. Now, Shima is well able to make do, and I cannot see any reason why she and Mr. Hoshi would not continue their plans, no matter what his mother says. Now, I do not think that she would completely cut him off, but she may drastically reduce his income."

"Oh how dreadful," Rin sighed. "They may need to move to a cottage Mamma, we should help them to find one, you know of all the cottages available around Devonshire, let's start there. Please excuse us, Miss Higurashi, Miss Higurashi."

Sango stood, frozen, as Kaede and Rin exited as quickly as they had appeared. Her mind was reeling with the information.

Part of her was relieved that she no longer had to keep such a terrible secret, to feel it eat away at her, but the other part of her was upset with how Miroku's family had reacted. Would it have been the same if it had been her, rather than Shima? No, she couldn't let herself think that, to go down that line of questioning.

But she could not help but wonder how Miroku would handle the news. Would he disavow Shima now that his family had objected? No, she knew him better than that. He would stay at her side, honoring his own commitment, no matter what happened or what repercussion it would have.

"You knew."

Kagome's soft voice pulled Sango out of her state, as she turned, her eyes wide to meet her sister's.

"Yes." she whispered back, her voice barely audible.

"For how long?"

Sango gave a soft laugh. "Four months. Shima informed me the first night we met."

"FOUR MONTHS!" Kagome almost shouted before catching herself. "Four months, and yet you have carried on as if you knew nothing, oh, and Sango, all the things I have said, all the hopes I had expressed on your own behalf."

"Oh Kagome, I was glad to spare you from knowing what I did, and how much I felt. Now, I can think back and speak of it truly without any great distress." She paused, "I wish him to be very happy."

"You can say that?" Kagome questioned, her eyes scanning her sister's for some hint as to Sango's true feelings.

"Yes," Sango nodded, "I can."

"Hnn." Kagome stepped away, her hand raising to her mouth as she thought before pausing, looking back at Sango. "Then perhaps you did not feel as much for him as I thought after all."

Sango let out a small laugh, but there was no mirth in the sound. "You think I did not feel that much for him? Truly? Kagome, for four months I have had this… this knowledge hanging on my mind, unable to speak of it to a single person. I have had to listen to Shima's talk of her hopes and dreams of her life with Miroku again, and again and again." Her voice started to break as she spoke, but she could not find herself caring. "I have known myself to be divided from Miroku forever in the way that I had hoped, while dealing with unkindness from his sister and the snide remarks of his mother."

Kagome made a soft sound as tears began to fall from Sango's eyes, but Sango continued, unable to stop herself from venting the hurt and anguish that had been churning over the previous four months.

"I Have suffered all the punishment of an attachment without enjoying any… any of the advantages." Her voice broke as tears began to stream in earnest. "I may not have shown it Kagome, at least not in the way you had hoped I would, but I felt it so much, so very much. I have been unhappy, so truly unhappy, and I just…"

Sango's hands lifted to cover her face as she crouched to the floor, overcome with tears. Kagome stood, stunned, unable to move for several seconds as she watched her strong, brave, and steadfast sister crumble, before rushing to take her into her arms and hold her, letting Sango sob into her shoulder.

"I have been so horrible to you, without knowing, and I am so sorry if I had made your suffering any worse." Kagome whispered, placing a kiss on Sango's hair as Sango wept in her arms.


Sango's eyes were still swollen from the tears she had shed the next morning, but there was little she could do about that.

Or so she thought.

Kagome brought her two spoons, the bowls almost icy cold, and placed them over Sango's eyes.

"Where did you…"

"It was a tip from one of the maids," Kagome said soothingly as she ran her hand over her sister's hair. "It is how they help the swelling of the eyes before they go to work." Kagome shifted one of the spoons to rest more fully on Sango's eyes. "If you place them in the ice box for a few minutes they chill, and the cool temperature helps with the swelling."

"It feels wonderful." Sango sighed, a slight smile turning her lips despite everything from the past day. "It does feel a strange turn of our roles though, you with the practical advice and me overcome with emotion."

"That is true," Kagome chuckled, tapping her finger on Sango's nose, "but I think you should cherish it while it happens."

"I do, believe me Kagome, I do."

The sisters sat together, Kagome's head on Sango's shoulder, in silence. Neither wanted to break the peace of the moment, a peace they had not felt since their father had died nearly a year before.

And yet as the world did not cherish the time as they did, a soft knock at the door ended their peace.

"Excuse me misses, Mr. Hojo Higurashi is here to see you both."

"Please, see him in Jaken." Kagome stated, lifting the spoons from Sango's eyes before looking her over and nodding. She was pleased to see that the swelling had gone down, it would not do to have their brother seeing how impacted Sango was by the news.

"Sango, Kagome…" Hojo started, pausing as he stopped by the chair, waiting until Sango gestured for him to sit. "I am sorry it took me so long to come, I… I assume you have heard the news?"

"Yes, we have." Kagome responded, shooting a glance at Sango who sat still, her eyes cast to the floor.

"I must say I am quite amazed. I had believed that he was a man of sense, and this was all unexpected of him."

"What is to be done now?" Kagome laid her hand on Sango's arm, not wanting Sango to have to ask the questions that she may not want the answer too.

"Now? Well, now there is nothing to be done." Hojo sighed. "When Miroku came to the house last evening Miss Shima Metzger was waiting for him by the door, crying. When he entered the drawing room his mother confronted him, demanded that he end the engagement." Sango's head snapped up at the words, but Hojo was lost in his own thoughts and did not notice. "Miroku, to both his honor and his detriment, refused, and asked for his mother's blessing to their union. She, of course, did not give it, and threatened to disinherit him if he continued his folly."

"To his detriment?" Kagome echoed softly when Hojo paused.

"Quite." Hojo let his shoulders slump, as if burdened by a great weight. "He still refused, insisting on honoring his word, and his mother cast him out of the house, removed his inheritance and left him with nothing other than the clothing he had on his back. I will give him credit, he did not back down, instead he looked her straight in the eye, offered his arm to Miss Metzger, and left with her on his arm, never once giving deference to his mother."

"How awful, I feel so sorry for him." Kagome murmured, her hand stroking Sango's arm as Sango took a shuddering breath.

"Sango…" Hojo paused, waiting for Sango to lift her eyes to him. "Mrs. Hoshi was good enough to say that– whatever objections there may have been to– another attachment– it would have been by far the least evil of the two, and she would be glad now if it had been the proposal instead." Sango drew in a deep breath, the only outward sign of how the news affected her. Hojo gave her a small smile as he rose from the chair to leave, but paused at the door.

"She is, in truth, an excellent woman, and it grieves me to see her so distressed. I am sorry for burdening you with this, but I thought it would be better to come from me, rather than for you to hear it from the gossip mill that is running rampant through the town."

"Thank you Hojo," Sango whispered, "it is most appreciated."

"I bid you both a good day, then. I must hurry back to Yura, who is quite beside herself. This reflects on all our family now."

The loud clomping of his footsteps faded before either girl spoke.

"I think we have had enough of London, don't you Sango?" Kagome sighed as she sat back against the couch, letting her head fall backward.

"Quite." Sango responded softly.

She was not surprised by Miroku's actions, she knew he had more honor than his mother had accounted for, and that he would not turn his back on his promise, even if it was made in error. But to know that he was cast out, shunned from his family, cut off from the lifestyle that he had been accustomed to, that hurt her heart just as much as knowing he was soon to wed another.

What was he to do? He had been trained to be a Lord, to join the ranks of the politicians, but it was not the lifestyle he had wanted for himself. He had no training, no vocation set up, that he could step into to earn his way.

"I think I would like to go for a walk…" Sango murmured as she rose from the couch, gesturing for Kagome to stay where she was. "If you could talk to Kaede, ask her if we could return home, I will be back shortly. I need just a moment to clear my head." She shook her head when Kagome began to protest. "A moment alone Kagome, I will be no more than a quarter of an hour."

"Sango, are you sure?"

"Quite," Sango gave a small smile. "The fresh air will help me clear the melancholy in my mind, you know how I enjoyed the cliffs at the cottage."

Yes, the fresh air would do her some good. True, it would not be as clean and as crisp as the air by the sea, there were too many people and animals in London for that, but she still stopped and took a deep breath as soon as the breeze caressed her face.

It was a decidedly different feeling, walking the streets alone as everyone whispered among themselves at seeing her. While true, she was not directly part of the current goings on, as far as anyone outside of her family knew, she was still attached to the Hoshi family through marriage, a fact that had been shared through the ton at the events they had attended.

"...s Higurashi… Miss Higurashi." It took several moments before Sango realized that someone was addressing her directly, and a few more before her eyes landed on Colonel Inuyasha, who stood off to the side of the street, his golden eyes watching her with concern.

"Oh Colonel, I did not see you there, I apologize."

"There is no need for apologies, Miss Higurashi, I wanted to see how you were fairing."

"I am… well, all things considered, thank you Colonel."

"Good, and… and your sister?"

Sango's smile turned warmer as she saw the nerves in his gaze. "She is good, Sir. I do think that she is in need of some company however, should you wish to indulge her."

"I…" he gave a small laugh. "I suppose I am that obvious, aren't I?"

"To one who knows you both, I would say yes." Sango's eyes danced with merriment for the first time in three days.

"Ah… yes… well." Inuyasha seemed more flustered than Sango had ever seen him, and it genuinely amused her, how her sister had reduced this strong, stoic man to resembling a youth in the first blushes of love. "I may come to visit you both, but I was hoping for a moment with you, if you do not mind. I have a… a favor to ask of you, and I do not know how best to suggest it."

"Is everything alright?" Sango stepped closer to him in concern and he quickly raised his hands to let her know everything was fine.

"Yes, everything is fine, it is more I have a… proposal… that I would like you to relay for me. You see…"


Sango was thoughtful as she stood in the parlor of Kaede's home, waiting for her guest. It had not surprised her how quickly Kaede had agreed with the sisters about the need to leave London, as the woman was missing the quiet of her country estate. They would be leaving in three days time, but first, there was a request that Sango needed to relay, one that could change the course of another's future.

Jaken's soft knock had her spinning, her heart beginning to race as she saw the ebony hair and indigo eyes of Miroku as he slowly entered the room.

"Miss Higurashi…" His voice was low, strained, and she noticed the rigidity of his jaw, the new lines around his eyes. He appeared to have aged 10 years in the days since she had seen him.

"Mr. Hoshi, it is good of you to come."

"I am not sure if I am Mr. Hoshi anymore." Miroku sighed. "I am sure that you have heard tha…"

"Yes, sir, I have. And that is what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sango you have to know that…"

"I have an offer, if you will, from Colonel Inuyasha."

"From Colonel Inuyasha?"

"Yes, you see– He has a rectory on Tessaiga that has sat open, he has not been able to find anyone that he would like to fill that position."

"But…" Miroku started and then paused, considering her statement. "He knows I have no formal training in the Church, doesn't he?"

"He does, but he knows you from your reputation, has heard both Kagome and myself speak of you, and how much we– we think of you. He felt that you would be the best person to oversee the parishioners of his estate. He says it comes with a sum of £200 per year, and while that is less than you are accustomed to…"

"No no, it is more than generous…" Miroku stammered. "Colonel Inuyasha is offering me a living… I have you to thank for this."

"No." Sango shook her head, not wanting him to think it was due to her intervention. "It has to do with your own merit, and the type of person that you are."

Miroku's eyes scanned her face for a moment before the tension around his eyes began to ease. "I am then profoundly grateful to him… and to you, no matter what you say."

Sango gave a small nod, grateful that she was able to help ease his concerns, though the thought of him being close to their cottage on Tessaiga with his new bride filled her heart with ice.

"Sango…" Miroku's soft voice drew her out of her thoughts as he stepped closer, his hands clenching at his side. "Every time we have met it has seemed impossible to tell you what I really think and feel."

"Yes." Sango's voice was just as light as her gaze met his, and she easily read the longing that lingered in his.

"Now… now more than ever."

"Yes." She let her eyes drift shut, not able to be faced with her own longing reflected back to her.

"Why do you not think badly of me Sango?" Miroku's voice held a tone of pleading, one that Sango was helpless but to respond to.

"Because you never deceived me." She responded frankly, opening her eyes to his again to show him her sincerity. "When I heard… when I was told of your engagement," she paused for a moment before continuing, watching a look of pain course over Miroku's face, "everything became clear. You have done nothing wrong, truly. I wouldn't think so highly of you had you acted any differently."

The emotions, hope, resignation, regret… longing that passed over his face was hard for Sango to witness, but she held his gaze until his eyes closed and he whispered "thank you" to her, his voice broken.

After a few moments indigo met her warm brown as he opened his mouth several times, as if he longed to say more, but kept stopping himself from expressing it. Eventually his lips settled into a sad smile as he watched her, before he turned his face from hers with a sigh.

"Goodbye."

Sango knew what he meant. It was not goodbye forever, not when they would live so close once he accepted the Rectory from Colonel Inuyasha, but this was a goodbye to everything that could have been between them. And as much as she did not want to admit it…

"Goodbye." She whispered, and watched as his smile fell and his eyes closed as if in pain before he turned and shuffled out of the room as if his feet had lead weights in them. She let out her breath as she heard the door close, letting herself take a moment before she turned to help Kagome finish the packing.

It was time to leave London, and the memories it now held.


So, this story is demanding to be finished, so I am quickly plugging away. Also, it's become my comfort writing fic, and since today is my birthday, I wanted to share this chapter that broke my heart to write but is so crucial to the plot to come.

And for those who were hating Shima... this is the first step to what will become her ultimate fate in this story.