Draco wasn't looking forward to his lunch with Theo. And for very good reason. The last thing he wanted to do was tell the opinionated sod he'd succumb to his parents' demands, mainly because he could predict Theo's reaction with precisely zero degrees of error. Theo would tell him what a colossal mistake he was making, followed by the completely unnecessary reminder that he was about to pledge himself to a life of misery. Then there'd be the unrelenting issue of Granger, who for whatever reason Theo seemed to think he fancied. Which to be completely transparent, Draco no longer thought of her as an entirely intolerable swot, but he'd hardly consider the periodic flutter in his chest and rather indescribable euphoric feeling he got from kissing her to translate into fancying her, per se. Besides, she had made it abundantly clear on more than one occasion that their relationship was of the professional variety. So, the decision to yield to his parents' demands, although not easy to say the very least, was helped along in part by the fact that aside from an entry-level position at the Ministry, there was very little for him to cling to in his current life.

He donned a mask of indifference and dropped into the seat across from Theo in a remote corner booth of the Caterwaul Café just before one o'clock in the afternoon, fully expecting to enjoy an unhurried lunch of his favorite fish and chips- which to his delight, Theo already had waiting on the table for him- followed by a slow lead-in to his startling disclosure. What he didn't expect was for Theo to beat him to the punch.

His backside barely touched the seat before Theo started in. "You're making a colossal fucking mistake, you know that? And before you start in with all the bullshite about duty and honor, I want you to know that if you go through with it, you've pretty much pledged the rest of your sodding life to misery. And what about Granger? Last time I saw you, you were all disgustingly doe-eyed about her- we even had a plan, remember? The Weasley shindig? Gods, you've done a lot of moronic things in your day- like A LOT, but this one, mate- this one takes the cake!"

Draco sat there with an unmoved expression on his face. He knew after all how Theo would react to the news, so he was more than prepared to hear the aforementioned commentary. He was not pleased, however, that Theo chose a wizarding café over the busy lunch hour to deliver said commentary, and without the use of a privacy charm, nonetheless.

"Good afternoon to you too, Nott," he said evenly, appearing thoroughly disinterested in addressing Theo's exceptionally flagrant behavior.

Theo shook his head, pursing his lips. "Don't you dare brush me off like you did in sixth year when I told you it was a shite idea to take the Dark Mark. Because you know I was right about that too," he admonished, this time having the decency to cast a wandless Muffliato spell before speaking.

Draco bristled when he heard Theo bring up the Mark, a topic he despised discussing with anyone, least of all Theo who despite his father's position in the Dark Lord's inner circle, managed to avoid taking it. Again, wrong bassinette and all that rot.

"Don't start in on me, Nott," Draco warned as he leaned menacingly across the table. "You're acting like I had a choice in any of this and you damn well know I didn't."

Theo tempered with the reminder that his friend continued to be a victim of his unfortunate upbringing. But he simply couldn't help that his anger spilled over when he heard that Draco relented to his parents' demands when he had been so bloody close to finally liberating himself from them. Draco being his oldest and most trusted friend, he wanted so much more for him and this news tasted revoltingly like defeat.

Theo shook his head, hanging it low before glancing up to meet Draco's glare. "Look, I'm sorry. I know I overreacted. But, damnit, you're better than this! You deserve better than what you're settling for!" He rapped his index finger on the table several times for effect. "I don't know what the hell happened between last Saturday and today, but going through with this would be a huge mistake! You were so close to winning the fight- you even had Granger on your side, for Merlin's sake! And she already won a fucking war!" He shoved his hair back away from his face. "So, what does she say about this whole mess? Have you told her yet? Surely, she agrees that this move would be disastrous."

Draco didn't answer right away. Instead, he pressed his lips together, looking around the increasingly busy café before turning back to appraise Nott. "She knows. Said she'd help me make preparations to return to France when I go."

Theo's eyes widened. "She said that? Like, gee that's bloody fantastic, let me help you pack?"

"In not so many words."

Theo sat back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest and shaking his head. "No fucking way. I did not see that coming."

"She isn't what I'd call thrilled by the news," Draco quickly amended, "but mainly because of her rather irritating Heroine Complex. You should know, that little gang of Gryffindors doesn't accept defeat well. To her, this was a lost battle more than anything else. Which I assured her things were always going to end this way. But, hard to understand that fact when you didn't grow up with the bevy of expectations you and I did, yeah?"

Theo continued shaking his head in disbelief. "Huh. I hear ya."

Draco eyed him warily. "What? What is it?"

He flapped his hand in front of his face. "Oh, it's nothing. Just I'm surprised is all. I thought for sure she fancied you-"

Draco barked out a laugh. "I beg to differ. When I attempted your brilliant approach, I swiftly discovered your little theory couldn't have been farther from the truth."

"Wait, what approach?"

Draco made a face. "Don't tell me you have no recollection of your cocked-up plan for the Weasley dinner."

"Yeah- and that isn't until Saturday night."

"Yeah, so I moved the date up a bit."

"Okaaay, and you did that why?"

"So I could test your theory. Get the answer you said I so desperately desire before I caved to my parents, remember?" Realization dawning on him, he shook his head. "For fuck's sake. I just fell for another one of your clusterfucking schemes, didn't I?"

"Wait, so you took Granger out this weekend and snogged her on some dimly-lit dance floor?"

Draco dragged his hand down his face, still reeling from his epiphany. "No, I didn't take her out. I think if I did, you'd know about it seeing as it would be on the front page of every bloody newspaper!"

"Then what did you do that has you so sure she doesn't fancy you?"

Draco pursed his lips, thoroughly displeased with having to verbalize the event aloud. "I invited her to the Manor to have dinner with me- which went surprisingly well, I might add. Until-" He trailed off, sniffing as he noted Theo's intrigue.

"Until-"

He grimaced. "Until I kissed her, alright? There, are you happy? I fell for another one of your idiotic plans and surprise, surprise! It ended badly!"

Theo stared at him, completely unaffected by what he deemed misplaced blame. "So there weren't sparks?"

"What?"

"There weren't sparks," he echoed. "You didn't feel your pulse racing as Granger whimpered against your lips?"

Draco rolled his eyes, looking away with a scowl. "Don't be crass."

"It's not crass if that's what happened," he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "So is it?" he pressed.

Draco let out a sigh, reluctantly turning his attention back to Theo. "The kiss was bloody brilliant if that's what you're asking. The problem by far was not the kiss- it was the way Granger reacted to the kiss."

"Hmmmm," Theo said, tapping his chin. "So she wasn't into it?"

Draco groaned, dragging a hand down his face again. "Look, I am not discussing the intimate details of who was or wasn't into it. Just- she took off afterwards- as if she couldn't leave fast enough. And that was right after she muttered some tripe about our relationship only being for keeping up appearances for the paper or whatever."

Theo let out a low whistle. "Dang. That's harsh."

"Yeah, well, that's the last time I follow your advice. I already knew how she felt about me before so there was no need to subject myself to another humiliating encounter."

"So, have you seen her since?"

"We spent all morning preparing for the mission. Speaking of which, you're not coming?"

"Oh, I'll be there," Theo assured, reaching down to pluck a cold chip off his plate. "Potter's gonna send for me when it's time to apprehend."

"That's assuming the dimwitted duo don't muck things up again."

Theo shrugged, making a spectacle of chewing too loudly, causing Draco to cringe. "Yeah, well- if all goes according to plan, we'll take down the perps by the end of the week."

Draco reached across to grab a drink of his gillywater, looking over the rim at Theo. "I admire your optimism. I, for one, am not convinced there's an ounce of talent between the two of them. Not to mention, enough to take down two hardened criminals."

"Ahhh, they're not as bad as you make them out to be."

"Is that so?" Draco asked, quirking a brow. "You obviously weren't at this morning's departmental meeting then."

"Oh?" Theo said, looking up from where he was shoveling an oversized piece of cod into his mouth.

"Yeah, the turnip-headed Weasel went off on another one of his deranged episodes, spewing some rubbish about how I've brainwashed Granger. Called me a fucking Death Eater in front of the whole lot of them."

Theo's eyes widened as his chewing came to an abrupt halt. "No shite?"

"Oh, yeah. It was quite the spectacle."

"What did Granger say about that?"

Draco shrugged, using his napkin to wipe the corner of his mouth before placing it back on his lap. "What could she say?"

"Well, I heartily congratulate you for not knocking him on his arse. I can't say I would have done the same."

"I can only imagine how well that would have gone over. I send a Ministry Auror to St. Mungo's right before the largest mission the department has seen in years."

"Yeah, well, hopefully Potter reigns him in before you leave. The last thing anyone needs is infighting within the ranks."

"Well, I don't plan on spending a minute more of time than I have to with that miserable sod. Speaking of miserable sods, Potter wanted me to go over some tactical information with you- see if you have any recommendations for how to catch a criminal. You know, because incompetence and all."

"Tell Potter I'll stop by Grimmauld after work. Tell him to have the maps ready."

Draco nodded, finally tucking into his meal while a comfortable silence settled between them. The Caterwaul Café was quickly becoming the latest hotspot in downtown Hogsmeade, as evidenced by the ever-present line zigzagging to and fro in front of the counter and leading clear out the front door. Thankfully Theo had the foresight to order their food when he did, thereby avoiding the deluge of lunch-hour patrons.

"So," Draco eventually cut in, "do I have you to thank for Pansy skipping town?"

Theo choked on a bite of his food, but quickly recovered by taking an unusually long swallow of his drink. After gruffly clearing his throat, he finally managed, "What do you mean?"

Draco eyed him curiously. "I mean, I assume you had something to do with the fact that when I woke up on Saturday morning, all of her belongings, including Pansy herself, were gone."

Theo's cheeks tinted pink with culpability as he glanced over to eye the growing crowd. "I told you, birds don't like it when you have another witch crashing at your place. So, yeah- I guess if she's gone, you could consider it a favor of sorts."

For as long as Draco could remember Theo and Pansy had a volatile relationship, only clinging to a frail semblance of cordiality for the benefit of appearances, namely not strangling each other in a public place, which for as absurd as it sounded, had actually happened once during fifth year. Her rather sudden departure from the Manor left Draco curious to say the very least as to what violent row he had the good fortune of missing this time around.

"So- thank you, I guess?" Draco replied, more of a question, but when Theo didn't elaborate, he promptly dropped the subject.

"So, when do you leave?" Theo asked, shifting in his seat. "For France, that is?"

"When the case is closed and I wrap things up with the Quidditch tournament over at Games and Sports. I've informed my parents it shouldn't be more than a fortnight, but that's with the exceedingly unrealistic expectation that things don't go tits up in Egypt."

"And they're ok with you not just dropping everything and racing off to sire a bunch of Malfoy brats?"

Draco scoffed. "I think they're just overjoyed that I've 'finally come around,' as my father put it, that they're willing to accept the timeline."

"Well, I still think you're making a massive mistake," Theo said with a withering sigh.

"So you've said."