"How's teeth brushing going in here?" Hizashi couldn't help but grin at the sight of heads turning to glance at him. Foam covering the corners of mouths and chins from the toothpaste as Hitoshi and Izuku brushed their teeth quickly. He loved the pinched grins he got back when he leaned against the doorway. The sight of his sons in matching pajamas was honestly quite adorable; he'd been saving them for Christmas, but he wanted to see how they looked in them now rather than later.

How they fit. His brother and sister had floated to him the idea of the kids wearing matching pajama's much like the adults would be and he adored the idea. He had been more than excited when they sent him pictures of pajamas to buy for the boys and himself. Of course, when Hitoshi and Izuku saw them, they begged to "stretch them out" which he agreed with. Izuku leaned forward to spit into the sink before lifting his head to beam at him. "Good! I'm all done!"

"No, you need to wipe your face off and rinse then you'll be all done!" He stepped into the small bathroom, reaching for the hand towel on the wall, and dampening it under the water, he then wiped at the toothpaste dripping down his chin. Smeared on his lips and the corners of his mouth causing the green-haired child to giggle as a small hand clung to his arm. Tugging the towel away, he then reached over to clean off Hitoshi's face with a whine leaving the indigo-haired child. "There! Now rinse and I'll tuck you both in!"

"Okay!" Izuku picked up his little paper cup and knocked back his water much like Hitoshi did. Cheeks puffed with their water as they swished when he placed the towel down on the counter for them to dry their faces off. He made his way into the hallway. The floor squeaking lightly under his feet when he listened to the tap of toothbrushes off the side of the sink. Entering his sons room, he made his way to Hitoshi's bed to pull the blankets back preemptively.

Making his way over to Izuku's bed to do the same when the sink was turned off with a squeak of the handles. The scrape of the stools across the floor as the boys jumped off of them. There was a flurry of pattering feet and thuds that had him looking over his shoulder to find both of his sons running into the room. Hitoshi's hands upstretched towards him with a sparkle to purple eyes. Identical to the shimmer of those green ones when Hitoshi bounced on his toes. "Me first! Me first, Dad!"

"I wanna be first! Toshi always goes first!" Izuku whined with his hand reaching up with his hand opening and closing much like Hitoshi's. Three small hands with flashing pink palms as both boys bounced on their toes with that eagerness. He smiled when he turned to face them properly; both damn near hopping with arms stretched up towards him. The fingers poking through his son's cast wiggling as if to open and close. "Dad, me first!"

"Alright, alright! No need to stir yourselves up in a frenzy, yeah? You went first last time, Izu, so it's Toshi's turn tonight." A pout formed on Izuku's lips when Hitoshi beamed brilliantly at his brother who then stuck his tongue out. Hitoshi returned the action with his arms stretched up to which he reached down to hook his hands under his arms. Swinging him up into his arms as they spun to the bed where he planted the giggling child down. "Now, now, don't go being rude to your brother!"

"He did it first!" Hitoshi chirruped when he threw the blanket over his son carefully then dug his hands into his sides. Tucking him in when he then reached for the cat plushie with arms wrapping around the toy and hugging it to his chest. He smoothed away wild indigo locks from his son's forehead where he leaned down to press a kiss to it. Trailing his fingers down the side of his face to affectionately rub his thumb against his cheek. "Did we do good doing the stockings, Dad?"

"You both did wonderful with helping me get the stockings up! And Santa is going to give you something very special in your stockings for being such good little helpers!" He nuzzled his nose to that adorable button nose of Hitoshi's earning a giggle from the boy when he lifted himself away from the bed with purple eyes shining up at him. A hopeful smile on his lips when he turned to Izuku who raised his arm up anew for him. "You too, Izu! You'll get something very good from Santa for being a good helper!"

"I will?" A gasped, happy response as he hooked his hands beneath his arms carefully to plant him onto bed. His arms lifting up as he tugged his blankets over the boy and dug his hands into his sides to tuck him in. That cast rested across Izuku's stomach when he reached for the octopus that Nemuri had given him. Tucking into his good arm, he then stroked green curls away from his forehead. "I can't wait 'til Christmas! How many more days, Dad? When will Santa be comin'?"

"Two more days! Christmas Eve is the day after tomorrow then it'll be Christmas, bud." He leaned down to kiss that smooth forehead gently before trailing his fingers down the side of his face to affectionately rub his thumb against that pink freckled cheek. He then nuzzled his nose to Izuku's earning himself a giggle from the green-haired child who nuzzled back. Standing up right, he smiled down at him then at Hitoshi. "You both did very good helping me! And maybe you'll get a treat for being such good little helpers!"

"Ice cream for breakfast?" Izuku questioned with a sparkle to his green eyes. Tightening his arm around his octopus with fingers twirling into the tentacles of it. It had him smiling widely down at the hope in his voice. Fighting the urge to ruffle those green curls again when he turned his gaze to his other son who squirmed slightly with a sparkle to his own wide purple eyes.

"Or can we have candy canes for breakfast? It's minty like toothpaste! So, we won't have to brush!" Hitoshi happily exclaimed with feet wiggling beneath the blanket as his arms tightened around his plushie. It was all too reminiscent to when he was a child with his own brother. It tugged at his heart when he smiled at his sons who squirmed with that excitement glittering in their eyes.

"No, we can't have ice cream or C candy canes for breakfast, but it'll be yummy nonetheless! Maybe I'll talk to Santa and see if you can open a present on Christmas Eve!" Regardless, he knew he was going to give in. He was going to give the boys a gift on Christmas Eve but God if he didn't adore the way purple and green eyes sparkled at him excitedly when he stepped towards the bedroom door with a smile. "But for now, get some sleep! I love you both very much and I'll see you in the morning!"

"Love you too, Dad! See you in the mornin'!"

It had him smiling widely at the way they spoke in unison, to which he turned to walk across the bedroom to the door. Flicking on their nightlight, he turned the overhead light off with the room lit up by the slow turning light that had stars lazily swirling around the room. Stepping into the hallway, he tugged the shut the door with a click as he sighed out. He then made his way down the hallway with his hair swaying against his back comfortingly when he stepped down onto the top step of the small landing.

Reaching out for the railings, he flew down the stairs quickly with the thuds of his feet hitting the stairs ringing out. A comforting sound in the quiet, dark downstairs area as he flew off the last step with his hands leaving the railing. The thud of his feet hitting the floor ringing out deafeningly when he turned to the front door. Making sure that it was indeed locked. Turning on his feet, he made his way down the hallway with his socked feet thudding over the floor that filled the quiet effortlessly.

Swallowing down a yawn crawling up his throat. His jaw trembled as he tightened it when he stepped over the threshold into the kitchen. The quiet rumbling of the dishwasher filling the quiet of his kitchen was a comforting sound that had him weaving on his feet briefly. Faint vibrations of the washer making it to his feet just faintly before he wandered deeper into the room. Padding across the floor, he approached the counter with the gentle vibrations of the washer rumbling under his feet.

He reached into the cabinet to grab a plastic cup then shut the door gently with a thud. He'd recently bought some eggnog and he'd been sipping it at night; no more than half a glass. He'd made a mental note to grab one of the bigger containers for the family function in a few days and he hated the idea of it. Hated the Christmas last minute rush that would have him pushing past others just to get two containers of eggnog. Turning on his feet to shuffle over the fridge.

Tugging at the handle, the door opened with a quiet sucking sound when he reached in for the eggnog. Grabbing the container, he shut the door with his hip then shuffled over to the counter once more. Placing his cup down, he twisted the cap off and poured himself half a cup, Putting the cap back onto the eggnog container and lifting his cup he shuffled back to the fridge. Opening it awkwardly then sliding the eggnog back onto the shelf then shutting the door once again.

Making his way around the freezer, he hummed softly to himself when he lifted the glass up. Sipping at his drink with a low hum to himself as he made his way down his hallway. The beaming soft yellow light of his bedroom spilled into the hallway to light it up slightly as he made his way forward. Like a beacon in the darkness around him, he flew forwards to his double doors. Nudging them open, he smiled at the sight of all four cats stretched out over his bed.

The sweetest cuddle puddle he'd ever seen. Shutting the doors behind him gently one side at a time before making his way forward. The muted steps of his feet over his carpeted floor were deafening as he made his way to the bedside table where he placed his drink down. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he lifted his legs up and curled up on the bed with Sterling raising her small head up with a chirruping sound low in her throat.

He reached out to scratch her head gently when he took a slow deep breath in then let it all out on a rush as he let his head fall back. Hitting the wall with a light thud. He'd felt strangely bereft. He had no more presents to wrap given he'd gotten them done rather quickly the previous day. Making the boys swear not to peak into his room because he was helping Santa with some work. And that white-lie had worked for his boys who he checked in on periodically while he got said wrapping done.

And he'd gotten the wrapping done. He'd never been happier than when he was wrapping up his mother, Kimiko's, present up. Adding it to the bag of presents that he stuffed into his closet. He was glad he got those baby locks to keep his closet shut but he knew if the boys were curious enough they could get it open. However, they didn't dare to do so. At least, he hadn't caught them doing anything like that. He had gotten his wrapping done and from there he'd cleaned the bedroom up the best he could.

Turning it into a cleaning session of the house with the boys helping him along the way. He'd been more than delighted to get the house clean; it felt like he was starting over. Starting fresh. Something that usually only happened when he was Spring cleaning the house when the time came for it. Regardless, he felt accomplished that he'd gotten the wrapping done so soon. He was happy that it was one thing off of his plate. Happy to finish up his wrapping leaving him open to do what he pleases.

He had all the stuff ready for the stockings to stuff them when his family came over and when the boys woke up. He knew the biggest challenge would be having Hitoshi and Izuku wait for him to get coffee before they went about opening their presents. It was a tradition he'd always had with Hitoshi; he'd let the indigo-haired boy open his presents from him at home. A morning with just the two of them that would leave him feeling touched as new toys were dragged up and down the stairs.

A quiet moment with father and son that he wanted to have this Christmas. Then when they came, Hitoshi would open from his aunts, uncle and grandmothers would bring him. It was a nice celebration with the two of them. One that he adored more than anything when he was sitting on the couch with his coffee while his son tore into his presents then dumped the contents of his stocking. This year, they had Izuku with them. Two boys who would be ripping open their presents eagerly.

Dumping out stockings on the floor before them. He honestly couldn't wait. He felt like a ball of energy that was bouncing off the walls of the room at the thought of how happy his sons were going to be when they opened their presents. When they tore into their stockings. He'd bought presents for his niblings before, but he was more than happy to experience the holiday with two children of his own. Two children who he'd give the world too if he had the choice to do so.

He'd been delighted when they asked to help him hang up the stockings tonight that they'd been bouncing on their toes. Pleading pouts on their lips as eyes widened up at him until he dug out all the stockings and instructed them on where they were supposed to hang and what order. The boys had been delighted to get it done before rushing upstairs to brush their teeth. He liked to involve them in the littler things of the holiday that didn't ruin the magic of it.

If anything, he adored how they seemed so excited to decorate the tree. To hang the stockings. He remembered Christmas as a child and the idea that he was giving that excitement, that magic, to his sons? Well, it warmed his heart. It truly left him with an adoring warmth that he was more than happy to share with his sons. However, he was glad that the stockings were the last bit that they had to get done when it came to decorating.

They'd been decorating all month it seemed around the house, around his store, and outside of the house. Today, they'd gone out into the snow again only to find it much harder to run around in the higher snow. Especially when he was sinking down to his ass and his pants soaking the melting snow up had them turning in sooner than they liked but they understood. They'd been out there for a decent amount of time, but he had gotten to the point where he couldn't ignore his wet pants any longer.

The chaffing that had begun setting in had been far too much for him. And not to mention the red noses that dripped horrendously with his sons shaking from the colder temperatures. Whipping through clothing effortlessly and tearing through scarves. He'd ushered them inside where is sons took turns showering in his bathroom and he took his own turn. From there, he'd been content to curl up on the couch with his tea and his Kindle that he was reading while his boys watched their shows on the TV.

The remote being controlled by himself to keep them from bickering. One year. It had been one year since he took on Izuku and in that year, Hitoshi and the green-haired boy had created a bond that reminded him of his own with his siblings. They had quickly become brothers to one another in the year that Izuku had been here and there's nothing he loves more than that. It was so clear in the way that they interacted and played together.

In the way they seemed to fuss, pick, and play like brothers did. It warmed his heart like nothing else. He and Aimi had a close relationship due to their only being a mere two year age gap between them. And there was only half a year between Aimi and Hana. They were all pretty close in age to one another and yet he'd never had someone the same age as him. He didn't know if that's what helped Izuku and Hitoshi bond or not, but he adored the sight of his sons playing together.

The way they reassured and comforted one another. There was a sweetness to him that he was absolutely enraptured by. He adored watching how his sons interacted with one another and how they interacted with himself. He couldn't deny that he'd been unbearably content being a single father with one son. One child to love, cuddled and adored the way that he had been for years. But taking on Izuku showed him that his heart could grow.

That his heart could handle the love he could give to two children. It was only one year but God if he didn't love Izuku like he was his own. Adored him as such. He was happy to see how Izuku had come out of his shell; nothing gave him more delight than when he got to see that beaming face running down the hallway to him. When he was nuzzling his face into his hip or stomach. His heart had grown to accustom itself to loving not one but two sons who loved him in return.

If Izuku didn't love him now, then he would grow too or so he hoped. But judging how the boy looked at him like he hung the stars? How Hitoshi looked to him like he hung the sun and moon? He'd dare to believe there was love from his sons to him. It warmed his chest to think about that adoration that was possibly shared by his sons. Today had taken its up and downs with them. While they didn't play outside as long as they normally would have, he was more than delighted to play with them indoors.

To tickle and play fight until their little faces had turned red and they shrieked with delight when he spun them up into his arms. He'd played with them until the three of them had gravitated downstairs to the makeshift playroom where he left both boys to get dinner started. He'd been frazzled since he woke. Crackling with energy that bounced under his skin like a ball; slamming off the underside of his skin. A thrum running over it that had him squirming when his eyes had opened that morning.

The bright sunlight trying to squeeze through his curtains. He'd been unable to stop himself from leaping out of bed to get breakfast started for his sons as he bounced on his own toes. Trying to redirect the restlessness under his skin to something useful. He couldn't help but feel embarrassed that he was excited, nervous, over a phone call with Shouta. Oh, he was ready for it when he'd woken that morning, but he knew he had to have patience.

To dedicate his day to the boys rather than letting them feel like he was too busy for them. That excited nervousness bounced under his skin like a ball that refused to dissipate. Growing larger and larger with each passing second, minute and hour of the day. Watching the sun stretch over the sky. Watching it's rise, its peak, and when it inevitably began to descend in the sky. His sons had been grumpy about their cut off time outside in the snow but he knew they were happy when he decided to play with them inside.

Any playtime was good playtime. However, he couldn't deny that he found himself bouncing on his toes. Found himself drumming his hands on the counters as he cooked dinner while Hitoshi and Izuku ran up and down the stairs until he shouted for them to stop running on the stairs. He'd been restless. Nervous. He wanted to get it over with, but he wanted nothing more than time to drag its heels. What did Shouta have to say? What was he going to say?

When he had come out to him that afternoon in his dining room the black-haired man had been kind. He'd been assertive when calling him a man regardless of whether he was transgender or not. But would time give Shouta the ability to think on it? Would it mean that his opinion on it would change? Or was Shouta merely going to double down on his stance of him being a transgender man? Was he going to repeat the same things from that afternoon?

Or was he going to say something completely different? He had not a clue what the black-haired man was going to say but it was festering. His brain was running scenarios in the back of his mind over and over despite his best efforts not too. Despite the effort it took him to make sure that he was focused on Hitoshi and Izuku. It was there in the back of his mind driving him insane. His brain seemed all too happy in running scenario after scenario in the back of his head.

Preparing him mentally somehow for whatever Shouta's reaction was going to be. He dedicated his day to his sons who had eaten up much of his time today. He was more than happy to say that he delighted in morning cartoons with Hitoshi and Izuku while they ate their breakfast in the living room rather than the dining room. He had done his best to make sure that his sons didn't feel like they were being ignored. Rather, he gave them all of his unrequited attention today.

He and Shouta had texted on and off this afternoon about tonight's call which they both deemed to be done on FaceTime to make it easier. It left him bouncing in his seats, tripping over his feet into the snow while he played with Hitoshi and Izuku. He felt clumsy. Uncoordinated today. He felt like he was running on a tight rope and swaying wildly from side to side. While this wasn't the most important talk of their friendship, he knew that it was still another pivotal one.

He knew that going into this he was offering himself up in an odd way. He was giving himself over to Shouta to think over and judge. To be weighed like he was on a scale of sorts. He knew that sometimes being transgender can be the end of a friendship. He knew that there were some people who just couldn't accept him as he was and that was okay. He had learned long ago not to hold hate in his heart or disdain for those who couldn't continue being his friend.

For those that didn't want to be with him. How could he? He can't control how others see him. He can't control how he was seen by the world, nor could he change how people think. There was no point in fighting it when he knew that at the end of the day it was all about a line of thought. All about the way that others would view a transgender person. Some part of him was truly, deeply hoping that Shouta was going to tell him those sweet words that he had the afternoon of their first talk.

He hoped that Shouta was going to prove him right and that together they could move forward with their friendship with one another. He wanted nothing more than to remain Shouta's friend. Even if he didn't confess his disgustingly growing crush on the black-haired man the least, they could be is friends, right? Friends who had a tension between them left him ready to rip his hair out. A tension thrummed over his skin long after Shouta had left.

A tension that sang through his veins leaving him awake hours after the black-haired man had given him those casual touches. God knows he replayed how Shouta had touched his cheek and how he had held his hand. How he had hugged him tightly leaving him to cling onto the man in response. He wants nothing more than for those strong arms to curl around him. Heave him off his feet while he showered that stubble covered face in kisses that he longed to place on them.

To listen to his squealing laughter mix with Shouta's deep booming one as they made their way to his bedroom. He wants to know so badly what it'd be like to be treated tenderly. Like a lover. But he didn't dare breathe the desires out loud or fear of pushing Shouta away. He didn't want to let himself take it too far. To break his own heart. But the way Shouta held him that afternoon was something he replayed in his mind.

Even if his hand had slipped out of his while they'd gotten to cooking, he still replayed how it felt in his hand. And God help him, he couldn't help the way he now stared at the black-haired man's lips. Now that he knew how they felt against his it was hard to look away from them. Hard to think about anything else when he was watching those lips brushing together while the black-haired man spoke to him. It was hard to tear his gaze away from full lips that were so unbearably plush.

Full against his own. He wanted it so much, yet he hadn't breathed a word of it to Shouta. After all, where did he start? What did he say to the black-haired man about his crush? What did he tell him if Shouta questioned when it started? What did he do when the black-haired man asked him when he first noticed it? He didn't even have the answers that Shouta would want from him. And so, he was going to choke it down. He was going to do his best to be friends with Shouta.

After all, this talk of theirs could prove to be the thing that they both need. He was ready to forgive Shouta and tell him out loud that he accepted his apology. He was ready to hear what the black-haired man had to say about him being transgender. His brain had felt ready to snap off t hose frazzled reactions by the end of the day when he was hanging the stockings with his sons. He didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to take a nap. To rest his frazzled head down while he had the chance.

He wanted to rest up then be ready for whatever it was that Shouta had to say but he couldn't. He was alert but God if he didn't feel exhausted from the constant panicking his brain had thrown him throughout the days. The scenarios that simply wouldn't stop with their multitudes of ways this could either go forward or end between them. It left him far too frazzled for his own good at eight-thirty at night, but he knew that this would be the last hump of his day.

Then he could strip off his clothing, get in his pajamas and crawl under the blankets to curl up. All it was going to take was one more thing to get done off of his list of tasks. One more mountain he needed to get over before he could rest for the day. He reached over for his glass to sip his eggnog when he glanced down at his phone sitting silently on the bedside table. Gulping at the thick liquid, he put it down on the nightstand with his hand moving to rub the back of it over his wet lips.

Reaching for his phone, he hummed quietly when he found no texts. No missed calls. It had him shifting slightly on his bed with the quiet groan of a spring beneath him. He placed his phone back down when he reached for his TV remote. Letting out a quiet sigh as he leaned back against his headboard, he listened to the light rattle of it from his weight pushing up against it. He didn't know when Shouta was going to text him, but he'd at least sent over his screen name on FaceTime.

So he was able to add the black-haired man to his. He shifted slightly in his spot when he let his head press back against the wall. Today had been exhausting. His own emotions had wrung him dry leaving him far more tired than he liked to admit. The energy that had been bouncing under his skin had been utterly exhausted. There was only so long he could straddle the borderline of being eager and excited in one day.

To let his emotions spiral out on him the way that he had left him fried from the consistent thrumming under his skin. Kept him keyed up when he had wanted nothing more than to spend his day relaxing. It helped with keeping up with his sons, but it didn't mean that it didn't leave him sagging against his headboard. Sighing to himself with his fingers twisting into the fabric of his pants, he licked at his lips before swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

Standing up, he walked forward along the side of his bed with fingers drifting over the blanket lightly. It might take a bit so why not get into his pajamas? He planned on going to sleep after the call with Shouta so there wasn't really anything stopping him, was there? It's not like Shouta would be seeing anything other than his head and face. He hummed softly to himself with his fingers tugging playfully at the corner of the bed as he made his way forward towards his dresser.

Coming to a stop before it, he tugged his second drawer open to grab a tank top and a pair of loose pants that felt buttery in his hand. Soft. He bunched them to his chest when he shut the drawer. Straightening up, he grabbed a fresh pair of boxers for himself then turned to the bed after shutting the drawer. He padded over to the end of his bed when he grabbed the hem of his deep green sweater. Bunching the hem up in his hands, he began to tug it upwards with the cool air attacking the warmth of his skin.

He shuddered with his hands lifting his sweater up to his chest then slid his arms out of the sleeves before bunching it carefully. Lifting it up over his head, mindful of his hearing aids and glasses, his hair slipped through the neckline in tendrils that tickled his skin. Getting his sweater off and bunched into his hands, he tossed it towards the hamper where it fell in successfully. He then hooked his fingers into his boxers and pants then wiggled his hips as he shoved them down to his thighs.

Bunching his clothing up, he got it down to his knees where he bent over with a quiet hum as he worked his clothing from around his ankles. Standing upright, he tossed the rest of his clothing to the hamper where it fell halfway. Pant leg dangling over the edge, he sighed out but reached for his tank top. Lifting it up, he pulled it over his head with his arms moving through the holes. Straps sliding against his shoulder as he tugged the blue fabric down to his waist then reached for his boxers.

They were one of his softer, worn in pairs that he adored. Stepping into them, he tugged them up his legs quickly to his hips with a hop. He then grabbed his buttery deep blue pants from the bed to step into. And his mind happily wondered; what would their talk look like tonight? What would his world look like after Shouta talked to him? Would they still be friends? Would they be close like they were? Or would there be a difference between them?

Shouta had been so sincere that afternoon when he'd hugged him tightly. When he'd buried his face into his shoulder while Shouta talked to him. Assured him that he didn't care that he was transgender, that he was still a man regardless. Would his values be the same as that afternoon? Had he already gotten the glimpse that Shouta was going to accept him? He had not a clue. People could say one thing but then say something different at a later time.

There was no telling what kind of reaction he was going to get out of the black-haired man when they talked tonight. There was no knowing what he was going to say until it was already said to him tonight. He sighed as he tugged his pants up to his hips then tugged his tank top out of his pants. His hands gripping the buttery fabric of his pants when he made his way around the bed to sit on the edge. Picking up his glass of eggnog, he lifted it up to gulp at it.

Draining his cup of the thick liquid quickly, he lowered his glass down to rub his wet lips. At the droplet that had run down his chin. He let out another quiet sigh when he let himself fall backwards on the bed causing it to bounce lightly beneath him. His hair bunched awkwardly beneath his back causing him to grunt as he sat up slightly and fanned his hair up above him. His hair had always been a point of beauty to him. Something for him to feel proud about. Cocky.

When he was a child, he used to have waist length blonde hair; something he had found a pain. When he was running around with the other boys of the neighborhood, it always caught on twigs and branches. Always tugged and pulled as a means of teasing him. When he had come out as transgender to his mothers, he'd been put into therapy to figure out if it was a phase or something true. Very quickly it was confirmed after a few sessions at therapy which got his mothers right on board.

His mothers bought him the new clothing he would need while donating his old skirts and dresses. He had cut his long, waist length blonde hair for a shorter cut. Something he'd kept until his high school years, but it was after that that he'd begun to let his hair grow. It became a point of pride the longer it got with trims to the ends by Nemuri. When he began using his "fancy schmancy" hair products to make it silky it had become a routine. The longer his hair got the more he adored it again.

The more he felt like himself. He didn't understand that sentiment, but he felt confident. Happy. He adored his hair that draped down just past the middle of his back. Nearing his lower back with each month that passed by. He adored being the man with long hair. Adored the confidence he felt when he was tying up his hair or brushing it out at night. He loves his long hair, and he couldn't deny he loved how silky it was after his showers. He didn't regret cutting his hair short as a child.

If anything, for a long while it gave him a confidence, he didn't know he needed. At one point he adored his short hair. He'd been beaming when he would admire his short hair cut in the mirror that he kept going for years. His hair was who he was. Sliding his hands over his hair before his hands clapped down on his chest, he found his feet kicking slightly over the floor where they dangled lightly. Swinging over the floor lightly while his gaze focused on the ceiling up above him

he took a slow breath in then let it out slowly. He pressed his head back into the bed with his eyes fluttering shut while he let his feet dangle above the floor lightly. Toes grazing the floor lightly with his hands twisting into the fabric of his tank top. Plucking at it with his lashes fluttering on his warm cheeks as his glasses pressed against his cheekbones and eyebrows lightly from the change in angle. Tonight wasn't hugely pivotal, but he wanted to know how Shouta felt about him.

He wanted to know what Shouta thought about him. It had him fidgeting slightly with fingers plucking at his tank top nervously with his feet kicking lightly to continue aiding in their dangling swing. What would Shouta have to say tonight? Sighing out to himself, he tugged at his tank top nervously with his heart skipping against his chest. A throb that had him breathless. He shuddered at the cool air of his bedroom; he figured it'd be warm enough for him to wear tank top.

But it was a bit chilly despite the heat bursting through the air from the heater. He knew he couldn't win them all, but he was more than happy to get ready for bed. He had already washed his face and brushed his teeth earlier but now that he was in his pajamas he felt ready for bed. He felt ready to fall asleep tonight, but he knew he had to stay awake. If anything, he wanted nothing more than to have the conversation with Shouta. To be alert enough to process what he was saying.

But what was taking him so long to text? To call? They had agreed on eight thirty the other day, but they were steadily ticking past eight-thirty. Swinging his feet lightly over the floor with toes grazing over the floor lightly when he let out a quiet sound to himself. Was Shouta going to call? The black-haired man said that he was going to text him preemptively rather than just calling and he appreciated that. However, he'd gotten no texts so far and it had him anxious.

Worried. Did Shouta change his mind? Or was he going to text him any minute now? He did have a freshly turned two-year-old now and he knew that two-year-old's could be infamous for fighting their bedtime routine. God knows Hitoshi had fought him tooth and nail at that age when it came to going to bed. He knew how two-year-old's could be when it came to bed time and he didn't fault Shouta if that was what was keeping him from his phone. Keeping him from sending a text at the moment.

He knew how difficult it could be. Swinging his feet lazily with toes barely skimming the floor when his lashes fluttered on his cheek as a yawn bubbled up. He happily let himself yawn with his jaw trembling gently when he released his hold on his tank top to stretch his arms up above his head. His legs curling slightly with the edge of the bed digging into the backs of his knees as his feet tapped together. His back arching from the bed slightly with his arms stretching up, up, up with fingers touching his hair.

Twirling a strand around them when he then let out a sigh letting himself slump into the bed. He moved his hands back to his face where his fingers snuck beneath the lenses of his glasses to rub at his damp lashes where small tears clung to them. God, he can't wait to get the holidays behind them. He wondered if Shouta would come over for New Years Eve or if that would be another holiday that felt inappropriate to invite him too.

Grinding the pads of his fingers into his eyes furiously he then dropped his hands away from his face to rest on his chest again. Rising and falling steadily with his lashes fluttering in a blink as he stared up at the ceiling when he slid his hands down to knead comfortingly at his stomach. And then his phone was pinging. It had him jerking up from the bed with his hair falling in a sheet against his back comfortingly. He all but lunged for his phone to find a text from Shouta waiting for him.

The black-haired man apologized but promised they could call shortly. That Eri refused her bed time and had been crying. Had rattled the bars of her crib so hard he had a neighbor come by. It had him snorting at the idea that the baby had disturbed the neighbor, but he'd believe it. He really would. Those cribs could rattle loudly if tugged at hard enough but the idea that this baby possessed that strength? It had him grinning when he unlocked his screen to send a text back.

Confirming he was alright with their call being a little later than they planned for. He was happy that the black-haired man had at least reached out rather than leaving him in this unknown limbo of when the call would be made. He shifted on his bed, tugging his legs up onto the bed where he braced himself against the headboard again. His feet slid over the blanket with those buttery pants rubbing delightfully against his skin. Tonight was going to be a nice talk.

He planned fully on telling the black-haired man that he forgave him, but he couldn't allow himself to forget the hurt. That he couldn't allow himself to forget that, but he can forgive. And, of course, he'd get to hear the black-haired man's thoughts about him being transgender. For some reason it all felt nerve inducing. He didn't know if he'd say it properly, but he hoped he wouldn't stutter or stumble over his words. The last thing he wanted was Shouta to think that he was nervous about their talk.

That he was nervous about forgiving him when he wasn't. Surely it would show how frazzled he was, wouldn't it? He dragged his teeth over his lip when he sat the phone down on the bed next to his thigh. Sighing out quietly to himself as he reached for his tv remote that he kept on the bedside table. Using it to flick on the TV to fill the quiet of his room, he began flipping idly through the channels. His heart was skipping against his chest with the threat of jumping into his throat.

Threatening to choke him at the thought of a text from Shouta. Of their call. He was so ready to lay everything out the way that they had that afternoon. He knew Shouta was a good man but not every good man can accept someone who was transgender. He knew values and impressions could be pounded into someone from childhood onwards and if Shouta for some reason couldn't accept him then that would be that.

There would be no changing it, but he hoped to God that his friend accepted him wholeheartedly the way that he seemed too that afternoon. At the very least, the black-haired man hadn't seemed disgusted with him that afternoon when he came out to him. If anything, he swore there had been a sparkle of curiosity to those dark eyes when Shouta had tugged him into that hug. It had melted his heart. He could still recall with perfect clarity how those arms had squeezed tightly around him.

How he had been held so tightly with all the comfort in the world that allowed him to nuzzle his face into the black-haired man's shoulder then. Oh, how he adored hugging Shouta. How he loved being tugged into a hug with strong arms around his waist. Hands on his back. There was nothing he wanted more than to know how the black-haired man would sweep him into his arms. To spin him around while he kissed his face. It was a fantasy, an aching desire that kept him up most nights.

The idea that he could be free to kiss Shouta's face until he was turning red beneath his lips? To feel cheeks lifting as Shouta smiled at him? Feeling those broad shoulders beneath his arms? The idea of twisting those black curls around his fingers idly? It was too much most nights. It had him aching in the worst way possible when he let those fantasies take over his mind. When he let his desires bubble right up to the edge of the pot that was his heart with the threat of boiling over.

The threat of becoming too much for him was always a possibility. One that had him hesitant when it came to those romantic, silly little fantasies of his. The urge to merely curl up on Shouta's lap was an itching desire that had him squirming. His fingers twitching at the thought of placing with those loose curls. To touch that stubble covered cheek that was always so rosy when he came over to visit him due to the cold air outside. He wanted to kiss his face while being swept off his feet.

He wants to be taken to the bedroom where clothing would come flying off of the both of them. He wants to know what it'd be like to be skin to skin with Shouta. What it would feel like to have him inside of him. What it would be like to love him the way that he wants too physically just to get rid of that thrumming desire. To kiss Shouta until his lips were tender and puffy from the kisses traded. Until he was satisfied that he had gotten the number of kisses that he wants from the black-haired man.

He wants nothing more than to curl up on the couch together until he is inevitably tugged into his lap and lips coming down on his. He wants to watch those dark eyes shimmer at him. He wants them to catch the light just enough to show the highlights of gray in that dark, rich color. To see those full lips part with the look of that kiss-swollen state he wants his own to be. He wants this man so much, yet he felt that he was farther away from him with each talk. As if his chance was diminishing bit by bit.

Was it wrong of him to want Shouta like this? Was it wrong of him to lust after his best friend of five months? He wished he could ask someone these questions he had burning in his chest. That he had an outlet that he could use just to work it out and get his head on straight. He didn't understand why he was so hesitant to talk to Nemuri or Oboro about it, but he also knew he hadn't tried to reach out. He had Taishiro as well, but he found himself tongue tied when it came down to talking about it out loud.

As if there was something stopping him from vocalizing his desires out loud to his friends who always seemed so willing to listen to him. Who always gave him such good advice. He didn't know how to say out loud just how much he wants this man. Of course, they knew about his crush on Shouta, but they didn't know the depth of how it went into him. How it grew stronger every day. How it felt like even the smallest things now were feeding into this horrendous crush.

How it was doing nothing but throbbing in his chest like a heavy weight that threatened to choke him. Or how he ached so badly just to touch the black-haired man. How badly he wants to confess his guts to Shouta and pounce his damn bones. He hated it but Shouta was by far the most attractive, quietly confident man he'd ever met. He liked how awkward he could be and how kind he was in his quiet ways. He couldn't stop himself from replaying the kiss from days ago.

Hell, he swore he could still taste the cherry vodka Shouta had been shooting. Could still recall how plush those lips had been against his. Thick. Full. God, he felt like a swooning teen just recalling that night even if there was a wince of pain that went along with it when it came to Shouta's reaction. But their talk on Wednesday had been so productive that he didn't know what to do with himself. They were bridging the two week mark with Christmas being so close that he couldn't help but wish Shouta would come over.

It wouldn't be the end of the world if he swung by his place after Christmas, but it would be nice to have him over for the dinner at the very least. He couldn't force him, but he can wish. Taking a slow breath in that had his chest expanding further, further, further before he let it out on a sigh that rushed out of him. His hands plucking idly at the buttery soft material of his pants with his head pressed to the wall. His lashes managing to tickle his cheeks lightly when he blinked. Fluttering.

He didn't know what to do with himself. What to do about his attraction, his desires, for the black-haired man. He swore there were moments where those dark eyes lingered on him longer than intended. There were brushing touches. Casual touches that were given without thinking. The way that Shouta smiled at him or the way he held him tightly when he was pulled in for hugs. How hands slid along his back or stroked his hair.

He swore it wasn't just him but until Shouta admitted he'd be playing the waiting game. Waiting, waiting, waiting for the black-haired man to say something. Waiting for Shouta to confess so he could confess as well. It was a circle that they were in that he hated. He knew he should just admit his feelings to Shouta and be the first one to make them known. He'd done it in the past. And yet this time round he was nervous about this type of thing.

Nervous at the thought of confessing to Shouta who always seemed so skittish. As if one wrong word or action would scare him away. And that's not what he wanted to do. He didn't want to scare away Shouta and he didn't want their friendship to end. But how long did he let himself pine? Did he let himself get twisted up in the fantasies? The scenarios of his that would do nothing but bubble up again and again? What he'd do just to be Shouta's. What he'd do to have Shouta be his.

It may be new, shaky, but he wants nothing more than to confess to the black-haired man. What would happen if he did so? Would Shouta be flattered? Or would he be disgusted? What if he didn't see him as a romantic prospect anymore? What if he didn't think of him as someone he could be with? There was so much to the situation that felt different to him. After all, not everyone wanted to be with a transgender man, and he was more than used to it. More than familiar with it.

He can't force Shouta to be with him just because he has feelings for him. He can't force himself upon someone who doesn't want him. Who doesn't desire him with that same intensity. If Shouta didn't want him like that then there was nothing, he could do about that. He wasn't going to seduce him or try to change his feelings. He wasn't going to make someone who doesn't want him to want him. That was a form of manipulation he'd never let himself sink too.

Perhaps it would be better to take this step by step. To let things naturally progress. But did that mean he let his crush bubble up until it was undeniable? Did he let himself pine and long for this man for another six months before speaking about it? Or did he mention it now? He had not a clue what he wanted to do. What he wanted to say when it was time to confess his crush. Sighing out to himself, he shifted slightly on the bed when his phone pinged next to him.

Scooping up into his grasp, he found a text from Shouta. Unlocking his phone screen, he tapped on the notification which was a simple question. Was he ready? Taking a slow, deep breath that he let out in a rush he forced his thumbs to move on the screen to reply in kind to the black-haired man. He then closed out their texts to tap on the FaceTime app with his heart leaping into his throat. Reaching up to smooth his hair down, he let a few locks trail over his shoulders.

Fussing with his bangs when he pushed up his glasses to nudge them into place. He fidgeted in his spot eagerly with his fingers plucking at his tank top before he settled into place. His heart jumped into his throat wildly with skipping beats when the all too familiar sound of the FaceTime call began to ring repeatedly with Shouta's profile picture popping up. Curling and uncurling to rid them of the shake when he sucked in a deep, slow breath.

Letting out on a rushing exhale, he cleared his throat then tapped on the answer button. It took a moment to load but then Shouta was on his screen and God if he didn't look lovely. The wall behind him was a deep, rich red with the soft golden light of what he had to assume was his bedroom lit up the wall behind him. Spilling over him making him appear softer. Sweeter. It had his heart jumping when he licked his lips before speaking. "Hey, Sho! So is Eri down or did you leave her in the crib to self sooth?"

"She went down, thank God, but it was touch and go for a while. I don't understand why she's so dependent on your vanilla milk, but she is! You've got her hooked, Zashi!" He couldn't help grinning at the tired tone that Shouta used when he shifted slightly causing the camera to sway a bit when the black-haired man's sigh crackled over the speaker. "Anyhow, how was your day? I know you said that you had just finished up your wrapping, right?"

"Yeah! I have you and Eri's gifts set aside! I am glad, though, that I managed to get the wrapping done and now all I'll have to worry about is putting them out without the boys catching me and filling stockings!" His headboard rattled lightly from the firm press back against it when he plucked at his pants with his free hand. "I also played with them outside for a bit which was nice! But we ended up coming in sooner because my pants got soaked out there like you couldn't imagine! I was up to my ass out there!"

"I can imagine that." A chuckle burst out of the black-haired man when he fought the urge to fidget. Dark eyes caught the light of his phone screen and the soft lighting around him in sparkles that had enraptured him. Fascinated. "I'm honestly surprised that you managed to run or do anything with how high the snow is. Especially when we're getting another foot of snow by the time Christmas is supposed to hit! It makes me glad I'll be staying in with Eri then."

Smiling at the grinning black-haired man who chuckled again, he rubbed his thumb along the side of his phone. As if it could make up for seeing the black-haired man in person and replicating that gentle touch. He adjusted the position of his phone slightly when he chuckled softly himself at the black-haired man. "It's going to be a pain in the ass for me to shovel when my family comes for the day. Thanks for the heads up though! I appreciate you telling me now that we're getting a foot then!"

"No problem, Zashi. I can always come over after Christmas and help you shovel if you want?" Nodding at the phone, Shouta smiled at him; the warmth in that smile had his heart fluttering in his chest wildly when he felt heat crawling up to burn in the back of his neck when Shouta sighed out with an adjustment of his phone causing his image to sway slightly. "As much as I want to make more small talk, we need to talk, don't we? We have a few things that need to be discussed."

"You're not wrong, we do have some things to talk about together." Shifting slightly himself, those dark eyes peered into the camera with the same intensity they would if he were sitting right in front of him. Waiting for him to speak. "When you asked me to forgive you on Wednesday, the space we gave each other since then, I've really been thinking about if I can forgive you. If I can do that. And I want to say that I can forgive you, but I can't forget what happened, Shouta. I can't sweep it under the rug."

"And you don't have to. So long as it's not used as a pawn or something to hang over my head, we can work on it going forward, you know? But I am honestly quite relieved to hear that you can forgive me, Zashi. That's- I just feel such relief." He smiled at the camera softly with the black-haired man sighing out then with the camera shifting when those dark eyes were peering at him. "I think it's smart of you to see it that way. To forgive but not forget."

"It's what I've been taught for most of my life, you know! Even if I forgave you wholeheartedly, I still wouldn't forget what happened. I wouldn't forget why you need to be forgiven." He paused then with his thumb moving over the side of the phone again when he twisted his fingers into the buttery softness of his pants. "But I really do forgive you, Sho. I forgive you for being a drunken, scared idiot who was intimidated by a slightly pretty blonde. Just don't do that to me again, okay? I don't think my heart can take that again."

"I'd never hurt you like that again. Never. But there's no need to put yourself down, you know. I think you're more than slightly pretty, I think you're a stunning, beautiful man who is very much intimidating." He blinked then when Shouta licked at his lips causing them to glisten in the soft lighting of his bedroom when the phone shifted. Watching spots of pink pop on Shouta's cheeks was mesmerizing. "I thank you, sincerely, for forgiving me. Not many would have the grace or maturity to do such a thing."

Heat was gathering in the back of his neck horrendously; stinging in the tips of his ears that were, thankfully, covered by his hair. Shifting in his spot, fingers tugging at invisible lint on his pants, he found himself smiling softly at the black-haired man on his screen. "Well, thank you. I wouldn't call myself graceful or all that mature but rather just common sense. I can forgive you but not forget but I have enough maturity to see the faults in you and me. I'd have to be an idiot not to believe I don't have faults."

"And there it is, that maturity of yours! I think I might just be jealous over how put together you are, Zashi! You have not one but two boys, run a store, and just ended your substituting job all while balancing it the best you can? I might just be seriously jealous over how put together you are!" There was a playful note to Shouta's voice that had his smile widening at his phone screen when the black-haired man chuckled. "I thank you for taking pity on my idiotic ass, Zashi. Seriously."

"Eh, I was planning on forgiving you for a little while but I just had to get past that petty stage of wishing you felt guilty! But I knew I'd eventually get there, you know? It's smart that we gave each other two days of space to think things through!" He paused when he watched the smile on Shouta's lips wavering much like his own. There was no point in ignoring the elephant in the room. None. And so, he took a breath in then out that trembled. "Speaking of which, I think it's your turn."

"My turn, huh? Is that how you're going to ask what I think of you being a transgender man?" Nodding at the phone, Shouta's smile wavered on his lips before softening significantly. Something warm but small. "I want you to know, Zashi, that I've thought long and hard about it over the past two days. I want to also say again that I appreciate you coming out to me the way that you did. I can't imagine how you must've been feeling when you told me the way that you did."

"Like I was going to puke my guts out." He gave a tight grin which got him one back from Shouta when he twisted his fingers into the material of his pants. Twisting it around his fingers the way he would with his hair as he then swallowed before taking a breath through his nose. "I felt like I wanted to puke all over my feet when I told you. It's just- I mean, I haven't come out to someone in a long, long time, Sho. And you're far from the only one I've come out too recently, but you still matter. I value you a lot."

Dark eyes flicked away from the screen when he bit his lip before nibbling on it. Dragging his teeth slightly to pick at his lip slightly when he fidgeted slightly in his spot. Was that revealing too much? Or not enough? He had not a clue, but those dark eyes came back to him with a resolute sparkle to them. "And I value you, Zashi. Much more than you know. And I appreciate you having the strength to do that. I've been thinking about it for days now and I've done a lot of thinking and soul searching."

"Soul searching, huh? I didn't think it'd be that serious!" He tried for a joke, but he knew it felt flat with the nerves that clawed their way to the surface causing them to tremble slightly. He knew Shouta caught on by the way those dark eyes flickered over his face. He took a breath then let it out on a sharp sigh when he found his fingers twisting into his pants tightly. "Are you sure you're ready to give me your answer, Shouta? Have you thought about it long enough to have an answer for me?"

"I think I have thought about it long enough. Two days may not be long but it's certainly long enough for me to know what I want to say and how I feel." Shouta paused briefly, looking off camera behind his phone at something. He had not a clue what but then those dark eyes came back to him with a soft smile on full lips. "Hizashi, I can say from the bottom of my heart that nothing has changed. I don't view you any differently. I still think you're the beautiful, wonderful man that has become a very close friend of mine."

"That's it?" He hated the incredulousness that crept into his voice when he spoke, but he swallowed it down when the black-haired man tilted his head slightly on the camera. Clearing his throat with a light cough, he then turned his attention to the now frowning Shouta when he adjusted his hold on his phone before speaking. "It's just- I don't know, I was thinking this was going to be so much different! I thought that you were going to say one thing on Wednesday then another now that you know I'm trans! It tends to bother people."

"Well, I'm not other people, Zashi. I don't mind one bit that you're transgender; not one bit. I think you're still an amazing friend and an amazing man regardless of it but that doesn't mean I'm going to completely wave away the fact that you are a transgender man. But it doesn't have to be an end all be all situations." Shouta paused again then shifted his hold on the camera with a twitch to those full lips. "Hizashi, we don't need to make you being trans the entirety or foundation of our friendship."

"I don't want it to be the foundation of our friendship, but you have to admit it was one of those out of pocket confessions you weren't expecting. I just- I want you to really understand that it does change things no matter how big or little." Fidgeting in his spot, he plucked at his pants while his fingers tightened on his phone when Shouta's black brows twitched together. "I just know it can make others uncomfortable. And I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me, you know?"

Those brows squeezed together with full lips pinching slightly into a frown when he fidgeted again. He didn't want to make him upset. That's the last thing he wanted but he needs Shouta to confirm he understands that no matter how big or small it changed that it still matters. "The last thing you do is make me uncomfortable, Zashi. And why should you make me uncomfortable now? Just because you just so happen to have a vagina? How does that negatively impact me? How does that make you any less of the man I know you to be?"

Taking a breath that shuddered on the way down then out, he clutched at the buttery fabric of his pants. Fingers twisting and plucking at it when he lowered his gaze from Shouta's expectant face. "I don't know but I just don't want you to be uncomfortable around me! I don't want you to hate me or feel like I somehow duped you into thinking I was a cisgender man when I'm not! It's happened in the past and I don't want you to feel that way, you know? I don't want you to-to be disgusted or anything like that!"

"Why in the world would I be disgusted?" The question was said in a sharp, biting tone that had him flinching instinctively against the headboard causing it to rattle when Shouta took a deep breath that crackled lightly over his speakers with that rushing exhale. "Hizashi Yamada, you do not make me uncomfortable. You did not dupe me into thinking you were a-a cisgender man. I do not hate you. I am not disgusted with you. How could I be? You're a man, aren't you? You present as a man, yeah?"

"Yeah, I am! But in the-"

"So, then that makes you a man, right?"

"Yes! I am a man, I present as one and live as one, but you can't just-"

"Can't what? Accept you? See you as my friend just because you're transgender?"

"You can't accept it that easily! People in the past have-"

"Hizashi Yamada, I want you to take a good damn look at me, yeah? Take a look at me." He lifted his gaze from his lap to peek up at the black-haired man on his screen. There was a rather stern expression pinching at Shouta's face as he leaned closer to the camera, highlighting the scar beneath his right eye with those dark eyes narrowing slightly at him. "Hizashi, I am not every person who has spurned you in the past. I am not going to hate you just because you're trans. You've become my best friend, and I won't let it change anything."

He felt his lips tremble slightly as they moved silently with the protestations building in his throat when he snapped his mouth shut. Pinching his lips together tightly when he tugged at his pants lightly with his fingers to soothe himself slightly with his hand trembling slightly. Did he really mean it? Why did it feel harder to accept Shouta's acceptance than it was for Taishiro? For his mom group friends? His lips parted when he licked before speaking. "You really mean it, then? You're still okay with me?"

"Of course I'm okay with you! I'm more than okay with you, Zashi!" He loved the incredulous tone to the black-haired man's voice when dark eyes darted away from the camera briefly before coming back to him. A soft smile curling over full lips as those dark eyes flicked over his face. Glowing in that soft golden light; just as they had on his back porch. "I could never hate you, be disgusted or judge you. You're an amazing man, Hizashi Yamada, and I count myself lucky to have gotten to know you."

Oh. Oh, now that had tears pricking at his eyes at the rush of adoration. Of relief. It was so odd as he gave a barking laugh before raising his hand from his thigh to sneak his fingers beneath his glasses when the phone began to blur in his hand. Rubbing the tears that bubbled on his lashes away. What a talk this was proving to be. Sniffing slightly, he dropped his hand with a watery giggle leaving him. "Thank you, Shouta. I'm sorry if I upset you or anything by comparing you to others but it's just my experience, you know?"

"I get it, Zashi. To be burned more than once will leave anyone hesitant and especially over something as serious as coming out as transgender too. I know you've been hurt in the past by reactions, but I promise you I don't take this lightly and I'm not saying it just to say it. I really mean it that I am not disgusted, nor do I judge you for being transgender. Who the hell am I to dictate what genitalia you should have? If you live as man, present as a man, then that's what you are, isn't it? Doesn't that make you a man?"

God, this man was going to get him crying if he kept on like this, but it was sweet. It was tears of relief, of joy, and he was more than happy that this conversation was going the most ideal way. He didn't expect Shouta to be so accepting, and he'd been going over the what-ifs so often but he was relieved. "Yeah, it does! I've been taking testosterone since I was a teenager which has helped, and I still take it! And I present as a man every day, so it doesn't have to change anything, does it?"

The black-haired man on his screen beamed at him then with such pride it had his heart skipping in his chest. Had his stomach fluttering wildly with the butterflies that fluttered viciously there at the sight of that pride. That delight on that wide smirk that was very much Totoro-esque. It was disturbing but he adored the sight of it. "Then there's nothing more to be discussed, is there? You're a man through and through! Fuck anyone who says opposite of it! You are Hizashi Yamada and nobody can take that away or change it."

"No, they can't! Honestly, I'm so relieved you feel that way! I know not everyone would be cool with anyone who identifies as transgender and judge preemptively but thank you, Shouta, so much! I was honestly really getting to myself and thinking you'd hate me for being trans, you know? That it was going to change our friendship, and it was going to change things as a whole. I know you were nice about it on Wednesday, but you never know, you know? Does that make sense to you?"

"It does. I know how you feel, Zashi, I really do. It's easy for someone to say something in the heat of the moment and then say something completely different." Dark eyes darted from the camera before Shouta was sighing out with his shoulders slumping as his free hand came up to rub at his eyes. And he caught it; the distant, quiet sound of hard rattling. Crying. "I might have to call this off soon, Eri is up again, and I don't want the neighbors complaining again."

"Let me see her! She can never get enough of Uncle Zashi when she's over here! Take me with you?" The black-haired man's brows raised when he then began to move. His camera shaking slightly as his phone was held tightly and he happily settled himself against the headboard. The camera was angled up towards Shouta which didn't allow him to see the apartment, but he didn't mind. And then a door was opening with wailing and rattling becoming far louder when Shouta sighed out.

"Eri, darling, you can't keep up like this! You're going to make yourself sick from your crying!" He smiled softly when Eri screeched in protest when the black-haired man's thudding steps were picked up somewhat from the camera's angle when there was a quiet grunt. The phone was angled down to the carpet when he watched Shouta's feet spin and pad across the room into what he had to guess was the living room when the man sighed. "I hope that this works, Zashi, and doesn't make this worse."

"It'll be fine! Let me see my lil' bug!" There was a whimper from Eri no doubt when he watched Shouta's feet pad around what he had to guess was the couch. The sound of quiet springs groaning had him smiling when the camera lifted up. And there was a teary eyed Eri; the rims beneath her eyes were red with her nose turning a shade of delicate red from her crying. Tears clung to wet white lashes when her face changed into one of curiosity when he smiled. "Hi there, bug! Are you having a rough night?"

He watched her face turn into one of curiosity with her wet lashes fluttering in a blink. Surprise. As if she were awed that he was on the screen when he gave a wave at the screen. And then a smile was curling over her lips when she squealed with small hands coming up to press to her smiling mouth. A sparkle forming in her wet eyes when she wriggled in place with her eyes locked on him before reaching up to touch Shouta's stubbly chin when she giggled. "Papa, its Dada! Dada!"

"And you thought this wasn't going to work!" He couldn't help the butterflies that raged in his stomach when Shouta rolled his eyes. Admiring how those black lashes fluttered with an amused smirk curling over full lips when Eri was looking back at him with delight sparkling in her red eyes. She squirmed in Shouta's lap to which he smiled back. "How's my lil' bug doing, huh? You look so sleepy, Eri! I bet you're so tired, aren't you? Why don't you try calling me Uncle Zashi, hmm? Uncle!"

"Unca Dada!" He couldn't stop his smile from widening when Eri chirruped before reaching up to touch her father's stubbly chin again. Tapping at his jaw with a squirm when she rubbed at an eye with her other little fist. It was quite adorable. It had his heart skipping in his chest when the baby on screen smiled at him so sweetly it had him smiling back. "It's Unca Dada! Unca Dada pwetty! Papa likes Unca Dada!"

"Eri." It was a single warning in the use of the young girls name who merely cooed at her father when she dropped her hand from her eye. He watched a red blush smothering itself over Shouta's cheeks when he felt the tingle of heat pooling into his own cheeks. However, the baby was undisturbed by the red faces before and behind her when she beamed at the camera when Shouta sighed. "You know, she's not gonna go to sleep easily. She's gonna wanna talk to you all night long."

"Nah, she can't stay up all night long! Just long enough to talk to her Uncle Zashi all she wants! It's only eight forty-five! She can have plenty of time catching up with Uncle, won't you, bug?" The teary eyed child in Shouta's arms beamed at him delightedly. A single tear running down her pink cheek glistened in the low lighting. It was almost as if it was what she had been wanting all this time when he blew a kiss to the giggling child before smiling at Shouta. "The real question is can you handle talking to me until she falls asleep?"

"I can handle that, Zashi, you know I can. You can tell me all about your up-coming busy Christmas." Then a wicked smirk curled over those full lips which had him narrowing his eyes at the black-haired man who merely smirked widely at him. That Totoro-esque smirk that had his heart jumping in his chest when Eri beamed at him as well. Wet eyes shimmering with the light from the phone screen reflecting off of it when Shouta chuckled. "But really, I give her thirty or forty minutes with you before she's down for the night."

There was a shimmering delight to Eri as she tickled her father's chin. Her bright, wet red eyes sparkling at him with an excited smile on her little face when she bounced. The ends of her hair were growing out with the ends curled up slightly against the tips of her ears. They bounced in time with Eri's little bounces as she clapped her hands together as if delighted by the prospect. "Then I'll stay on the phone an extra thirty to forty minutes! Of course, that's only if you're okay with that?"

"I'm more than okay with that, Zashi. We can talk a little longer before we each have to turn in for the night." Shouta then affectionately poked Eri's red cheek causing her to whine before swatting clumsily at the black-haired man's hand with a whine. And then Shouta was smiling at him with all the warmth in the world to get his heart skipping wildly in his chest. It had his stomach fluttering when he settled slightly with his pillow squished against his lower back.

"I'm in for the long-haul then! Ready to get your ears talked off?" He loved how that smile widened back into that Totoro-esque smirk that had his stomach fluttering. There was a sparkle to dark eyes while Eri wriggled in her father's lap with her eyes locked onto him with a sweet mumble of 'unca dada' that warmed his chest. Their talk couldn't have gone any better and he felt relieved. It truly felt like a weight has fallen off of his chest. Now all he had to do was survive the holidays with his family.