Una Mattina - You or Nothing
Chapter 6: Confrontation
Ha Neul stepped inside her home, leaning her back against the door as she did.
The kiss she'd given Woo Bin was impulsive. Was it too forward? She could blame it on the alcohol, naturally, but she knew that wasn't really accurate. She had the instinct to kiss him as soon as he'd pressed his hand against her back that night.
But that didn't mean she liked him, of course. That would be too…complicated.
She didn't know how long she stayed in that position, but she was snapped out of her reverie when she heard a loud noise from the back of the house.
"Haru?" she called out.
She jumped again when another clanging noise rang out. Immediately, she felt her chest sink and her breathing become shallow and constricted.
He couldn't be here…could he?
"H-Haru?" she called out again, stepping forward with a shaky leg in the dark house. "That's you, isn't it?"
The memory she'd been trying to suppress suddenly emerged in her mind. The alley, the black motorcycle––Bang.
"I don't want to die anymore," she whispered to herself.
Suddenly, she shrieked with surprise when her dog ran into view from the hallway, barking as he jumped up to greet her. Haru had his head stuck inside a familiar container lid, which she immediately realized was from the trash can she kept at the back of the house.
"So it was you," she said, closing her eyes momentarily in relief as she petted his head. "You've been sticking your head in the trash again, haven't you?"
Ha Neul sank to the ground, removing the lid from Haru's neck then hugging her pet. She suddenly released an intense sob that she felt she'd been holding onto forever. Haru whimpered as he licked the tears that came streaming down her face.
"I'm sorry," she wept, talking to no one in particular.
When she settled in bed later that night––after double and triple checking she locked the doors––she decided to keep the lights on this time. As Haru snored softly in by her feet on the bed, she couldn't find herself to sleep a wink.
Her heart was still beating too fast.
Her mind suddenly wandered to the last time a stranger appeared in her house. She had just come out of her bath, comfortable and vulnerable, when she saw his figure standing by her music room. And yet…she was instantly unafraid.
Yoon Ji Hoo.
She decided she desperately needed that. To regain a sense of safety and security, even within her own home. Especially after the incident.
Ha Neul then reached for her cellphone on the nightstand, scrolling through her contacts until she found his name.
"Hello?" the familiar gravelly voice greeted her. "Ms. Park, is that you?"
"Mr. Shin," she greeted in a monotone, still lying in bed. "I'm sorry to call at this hour."
"It's no problem." There was a slight rustling noise on the other end, which she guessed was the man getting up from bed. "Have you finally thought about what I suggested?"
"Yes. I think you're right." She sighed, rubbing her fingers against her temple. "I'll need that protection as soon as possible. But in return…I request that you don't tell my mother anything about this."
"You've made the right choice, Ms. Park. We'll keep you safe."
"Tell me why I'm here again?" Ji Hoo asked, standing awkwardly outside the double doors of the luxurious gym.
"To work out, obviously," Woo Bin answered simply, opening the door for him and grinning mischievously. "Despite knowing you my whole life, I don't think I've ever gone to the gym with you before. How do you keep in shape?"
"I have my own gym at the house," Ji Hoo replied succinctly as he walked with his friend to the spacious locker room.
"I find it more productive to work out with other people." Woo Bin removed his sweater and chucked it into one of the lockers, leaving him dressed in a black wifebeater. "You get more, you know, competitive."
"Getting in shape isn't a competition."
Woo Bin chuckled, wrapping his arm around Ji Hoo's shoulders. "Man, you complain a lot for someone who's going to do it anyway. Let's go."
Thankfully, there weren't a lot of people at the gym. Ji Hoo decided to work on his regular routine––it was supposed to be his arms day––and headed for the curl machines.
"Hey, Ji Hoo!" Woo Bin called for him half an hour later from the other side of the gym. "Come spot me."
Ji Hoo finished his set before heading to his friend. Woo Bin had positioned himself on an inclined bench, already settled underneath a barbell. After around eight reps, Ji Hoo helped him put the barbell back on the rack.
"You're in an exceptionally good mood," Ji Hoo noted, pointing to Woo Bin's tired but goofy grin.
Woo Bin chuckled, wiping the sweat off his brow with a towel. "I had a good pre-workout shake, I guess. I'm pretty pumped."
"So it has nothing to do with having a good date with my neighbor a few days ago?"
Woo Bin raised a brow. "Okay, to be honest, I didn't want to bring it up because I was a bit embarrassed. I think I had more fun than you did on that double date."
"Who says I didn't have fun?" Ji Hoo said, gesturing for Woo Bin to get off the bench. Once he did, Ji Hoo settled himself under the barbell. "No need to spot me."
"Prick," Woo Bin grumbled, playfully hitting his friend on the face with his towel. Midway through Ji Hoo's set, he said, "So you did have fun with Myeong?"
"Sure," Ji Hoo grunted as he lifted the barbell.
"You like her," Woo Bin said slowly, his mouth agape in awe.
Ji Hoo finished the set before responding. Sitting up, he said honestly, "No. But she was nice."
Woo Bin shrugged. "I guess she is."
"How about you? You said you had fun with Ha Neul."
Woo Bin pursed his lips, looking a bit unsure of himself. "Yeah. Yeah, she's cool."
"Are you going to see her again?"
Woo Bin took longer than normal to respond. He took his time in going over to the weight rack and pulling two five-kilogram weights, adding each of them on either side of the barbell. "You know Yi Jeong's coming back in three days, right?"
"Deflecting," Ji Hoo noted, sitting up from the bench. "Why are you deflecting?"
"I'm just saying," Woo Bin shrugged, replacing his friend on the bench. "He called me up this morning, asking for a weird––eh, but understandable favor."
That piqued Ji Hoo's interest, which he realized was exactly what Woo Bin was going for. Regardless, he asked anyway, "What's the favor?"
"To tail Chu Ga Eul," Woo Bin revealed, picking up the barbell. "Spot me."
Ji Hoo was too distracted to hear the request, however, upon hearing a name he hadn't heard in ages. "Ga Eul."
"Hey!" Woo Bin cried, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Are you trying to kill me?"
Ji Hoo mumbled an apology as he helped Woo Bin with his final rep, before setting it back on the rack. "Why does he want you to do that?"
"Isn't it obvious? The man's still in love with the girl." Woo Bin looked up at his companion as he regained his breath. "Should I do it?"
"I don't know," Ji Hoo said noncommittally.
Woo Bin sighed, sitting up and rolling his shoulders. "I probably will anyway. Although I have no idea where to begin looking for her."
"Put a PI on her then."
"You think I should?" Woo Bin looked at him up and down. "You usually hate the thought of PI's."
Ji Hoo shrugged. "Yeah, I wouldn't do it myself. But it's what you'll end up doing anyway."
"Or…" Woo Bin trailed off, standing up to face him directly. "You could ask Jan Di."
Ji Hoo immediately froze. "No."
"I thought you were considering being friends," Woo Bin said, tilting his head in genuine confusion.
"And I thought you said to let her go."
Woo Bin narrowed his eyes, frowning. "Is it still that strong? Her hold on you?"
"I don't know," Ji Hoo sighed, settling himself down on the bench. He put his hands on the bar but didn't lift it. "I could send her an email, I suppose."
"I'd appreciate that," Woo Bin said, shooting him a thankful smile. "Yi Jeong, especially."
After the workout, they headed to the locker room together to shower and redress. Ji Hoo switched to an oversized sweater, while Woo Bin opted for a basketball jersey. They met outside the gym and began to head to the parking lot.
"You're really not going to answer my question about Ha Neul?" Ji Hoo finally asked when he reached his white motorcycle bike.
Woo Bin leaned on his car parked next to him, crossing his arms. "Tell me something first."
"What?"
"Is it bad?" Woo Bin asked, his expression turning serious. "I know there was surgery involved, I mean. Is she okay?"
Ji Hoo rolled his helmet a few times around his hands before responding. "I don't feel comfortable telling you the details. But I could tell you that…yes, she's fine."
"She mentioned you were neighbors. Are you close with her?"
"I––" He thought about it. Were they friends? Neighbors, yes, but he believed sharing a cake didn't necessarily make them close to each other. Add that to the fact that she was purposely elusive when it came to talking about herself, especially how she was pierced by a bullet in the first place. "No, we're not. Just neighbors."
Woo Bin studied his face, as if deciding whether or not to believe him. "Okay. Then yes, I do want to see her again."
Ji Hoo felt something in his stomach after hearing that, but he didn't know exactly what it was. "That's…different. Are you actually trying to be serious this time?"
Woo Bin scoffed at that, looking slightly flustered. "No! That's…I don't know her that well yet."
Ji Hoo narrowed his eyes. "But you want to."
Reluctantly, Woo Bin nodded.
Another strange drop in his stomach. "Good luck," Ji Hoo mumbled, putting the helmet on and revving his engine to life. Before Woo Bin could say goodbye, he sped away without looking back.
Ha Neul stepped into the conference room, already slightly regretting her impulsive decision.
"There she is!" Myeong cried, waving from one of the chairs on the long table. There were only two other men in the room with her, both dressed in sharp suits. Ha Neul guessed these were the agency executives.
"Ms. Park Ha Neul," the man at the head of the table said, standing up from the table to greet her. "I'm Kang Dongsu, the CEO of Yonghwa Entertainment. We've heard all about you. We are absolutely honored that you have shown interest in finally joining the agency as a songwriting talent."
"That was all me," Myeong said, looking even prouder of herself than she usually was.
"Good afternoon," Ha Neul bowed. "I'm actually surprised the terms were so readily prepared, even though I just confirmed yesterday."
"Of course," the other man in the room said, pulling out the seat opposite him for her. "You are a VIP talent, after all. We are all such big fans––especially Ms. Myeong right here! The only daughter of renowned rockstar Park Dae…"
Ha Neul looked at him with a stoic expression.
The man cleared his throat and straightened his tie. "Our sincerest condolences, of course, for your loss."
"It was a long time ago," Ha Neul waved him off as she sat down. "Is this the contract?"
Mr. Kang sat back down and nodded vigorously as he slid the binder in her direction. "Yes, the details are all here, Ms. Park."
Myeong, who was seated next to her, squealed as she squeezed Ha Neul's shoulder. "I'm so ecstatic we'll be working together. That makes us, like, best friends forever."
Ha Neul chuckled, her eyes carefully reading the words on the contract.
"You will be working mostly with Myeong here, as her debut is the main focus of the company at the moment," Mr. Kang explained. "But we also have several other talents you can write for, in vastly different genres."
Ha Neul raised her eyes at that. "Other genres?"
"You name it!" the other executive said excitedly. "Pop, country, rock…"
She suddenly remembered something from her date with Woo Bin, how he had asked her what she truly wanted to do in her life. She'd said she wanted to write scores…You should do it, he had said, and she would never forget how sincere his sincere expression was. Clearing her throat, she asked softly, "Do you, by chance, have history with working for filmmakers? And producing scores?"
Myeong's brows furrowed as she looked genuinely confused, while the two executives in the room looked at each other with bewilderment.
"I––Unfortunately, we don't have clients in the film industry," Mr. Kang said slowly. "Our company is focused on producing the best performers and singers, you see. Potential pop idols such as your friend here."
"Writing scores?" Myeong said, still perplexed. "Come on, Ha Neul, you have more experience with writing and producing songs."
Ha Neul laughed humorlessly at that, smiling apologetically. "Yeah. You're right. It was just something on my mind."
The two executives looked relieved to hear that, and they began to explain more details of the contract to her while she read it. The company offered steady compensation that was several times greater than her usual income. While she was required to come to the office studio at least three times a week, her time was still mostly flexible. She also had a lot of authority over which performer she could write songs for.
Overall, it was a good deal, better than she could hope for on this career track. But as she signed her name at the end of the contract, she couldn't help but feel that she was also signing away one of her dreams.
"How's this look?" Myeong asked her, sliding her phone across the bar.
Ha Neul downed a shot as she picked it up. It was an edited photo of the two of them, holding up the contract she had signed earlier against the backdrop of Yonghwa Entertainment. The potential caption Myeong had written––with a long slur of emojis––was: So excited to be working with my best friend! Stay tuned to our future projects. #YonghwasBest
"It's a little much," Ha Neul commented honestly, sliding the phone back to her friend.
Myeong pouted, pressing post anyway. "To be honest, you should be posting this too. It's a big step in your career, after all."
"I didn't see a requirement to post these things in the contract," Ha Neul shrugged. "And besides, I don't really update my feed often."
"That's a bad thing," Myeong tutted, reaching out her hand. "Give me your phone."
Ha Neul decided not to protest this time, as she wasn't really in an arguing mood. Myeong always got her way, anyway. She simply watched as her friend logged into her account and took a look at her profile.
"You should be capitalizing on your name and followers, you know," Myeong stated matter-of-factly, sending the edited photo from her own phone to Ha Neul's. "Your last post was three years ago."
Ha Neul laughed at that. "Ah, yes. I took a photo in a coffee shop in Boston, right? It was really cozy there."
"You're hopeless," Myeong sighed, posting the photo on Ha Neul's account before handing it back to her. "But I'm patient. I could hire a social media manager for you."
"For what?" Ha Neul protested. "I'm a songwriter, not an idol. I don't need to be as…into these things as you do. I enjoy being a private person."
Myeong contemplated on that for a while before giving in. "Okay, fine. But at the very least, post your pretty face more often. People will listen to your songs more especially when they see it's from a gorgeous and talented girl like you."
Ha Neul didn't respond, chugging her glass of beer instead.
"You don't look so happy for someone celebrating a contract with Yonghwa," Myeong noted.
"I am happy," she asserted, forcing a smile. "I'm just tired from today, I guess."
"Hmm. I get it." Myeong was on her phone again and was vigorously typing in no time. "You want me to invite Woo Bin?"
Ha Neul choked on her drink. "Wh––Don't."
"Why not?" Suddenly, Myeong gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. "Don't tell me he ghosted you. That fucking asshole––"
"No, no, no," Ha Neul said, raising her hands as if she was calming a wild animal. "No, it's––I haven't been responding to him, actually. That's all."
She remembered the texts Woo Bin had been sending her the past few days.
Have a great morning x
Did u have lunch already?
I kinda miss u
How was ur day? Hope it wasn't as tiring as mine
How's your chest?
Had vodka shots with some buddies from work today and thought of u
Txt me when you're free. But no pressure x
Myeong tilted her head. "What, you're not interested in him? Really? I thought you guys made out."
"No, it's not that," Ha Neul said too quickly.
Her friend raised a knowing brow. "So you are."
"I––I'm not sure," she decided with an exasperated sigh. "You know me. I don't…I don't want anything complicated."
Myeong suddenly guffawed at that. "Believe me, Ha Neul, Woo Bin is anything but complicated."
"You think so?"
"I've known him for a while now," she assured her. "I wouldn't have suggested you go on a date with him if I knew he wasn't your type. He's the guy-est guy. Easy to read, tells you what he wants, and bails as soon as things get serious. Just like you."
"Hmm," Ha Neul said, nodding slowly. "Let me think about it."
"Your call," Myeong shrugged, sipping her cocktail. "Or we could just find you another one. Look around you, some of these guys are actually cute."
"Not interested," she said, waving for the bartender to pour her another shot.
Woo Bin chose to stay late at the main office to review the construction plans of Il-Sim's newly acquired land in the provinces. He smoked a cigarette as he flipped through the binders, his brows permanently furrowed with focus.
His eyes eventually got tired––either from stress or sleepiness, or both––and he picked up his phone from his desk. He wasn't at all fazed that Ha Neul still hadn't responded to any of his texts; in fact, it made him want to see her even more. He started to scroll through his feed––
––And he instantly came across the face of the woman she was thinking about, under Myeong's post. He suddenly felt as if he was jolted awake. Apparently, she was the new songwriting talent of Myeong's entertainment company.
"Huh," he wondered out loud, not sure how to take the news, especially after remembering his conversation with her about her career. He became even more bewildered when he opened Ha Neul's profile from the tags. Despite having a substantial amount of followers, he realized that the contract signing was the first photo she had posted of herself on her feed. Everything else was photos of books, coffee shops, and piano clips––all from over three years ago.
Woo Bin chuckled to himself, realizing he found it quite charming that she wasn't as obsessed with posting herself as others were, despite being an objectively attractive person.
He instantly clicked to follow her.
Woo Bin dropped his phone and got ready to leave the office. It was only when he was seated in the backseat of his chauffeured car that he received a text from her.
Unfollow me now, Ha Neul had sent.
Woo Bin's lips instantly curved to a smile. Why? He texted back. It didn't take long for her to reply.
Bec your fans are going to come after me
He burst into laughter upon reading that, much to the surprise of his driver. Woo Bin waved to him through the rearview mirror apologetically.
They can't be that obsessed with me, he replied, still chuckling to himself.
U know very well they are, she said.
I'll keep following u if that's what it takes for u to text me back, he replied cheekily.
This time, Ha Neul took several minutes before replying. I can always block u
Woo Bin frowned. That's a little mean
He waited for her to type a response, but no notification came. Sighing, he put his phone back in his jacket pocket and leaned back more comfortably in his seat.
He was a few inches away from a nap when his phone vibrated again against his chest.
Aren't u going to ask me out?
"Yes!" he celebrated, causing his driver to take a surprised glance at him through the rearview mirror again.
Ji Hoo was statuesque, sitting in front of his bedroom desk with his tablet in his hands. He'd already typed out the email he promised to send to Jan Di, but he still couldn't bring himself to hit send.
There's nothing to talk about, was the most recent thing he'd said to her.
He groaned to himself as he adjusted his posture on the office chair, setting the tablet in front of him. However, as he did, he'd accidentally pressed the send button, resulting in the woosh sound effect from an email being successfully delivered.
"Shit," Ji Hoo swore to himself, scratching the side of his head in frustration.
With a slight force, he closed the tablet with its cover and dragged himself up, heading face-down onto his made bed. He stayed in that position, only moving to pull a pillow to place under his head, until he fell into a deep sleep.
He awoke due to the bright sunlight that directly hit his side of the bed, since he'd forgotten to close the blinds that night. He checked the clock on his nightstand to check the time. 7 AM. He had to get ready for work.
Before he headed to the bathroom, however, he decided to check his emails. Sure enough, Jan Di had sent her response two hours after he'd sent his message.
Ji Hoo, she'd written. Yes, I'm still in Seoul. How about we talk about Ga Eul over coffee? Meet me at the Breton Café at noon.
"Shit," he found himself swearing again, before he dragged himself to the bathroom for an ice-cold shower.
Ji Hoo was rarely late to things, but he had decided to be for this appointment. Taking a deep breath, he opened the glass doors of the Breton Café at ten minutes past twelve.
He immediately found her seated at the furthermost booth. Geum Jan Di looked as simple but breathtaking as ever, with her hair propped up into a bun. She was dressed more casually now compared to when he'd seen her at the cemetery. She was in a collared beige sweater paired with dark jeans.
She didn't seem to have noticed her come in, as she was sipping her iced coffee quietly while scrolling through her phone.
Ji Hoo made his presence known by pulling out the wooden chair in front of her.
"Ji Hoo," she greeted immediately, her voice gentle. She looked at him with a glossy smile, the way that she used to back then. When everything was…fine.
"Hello," he sighed, sitting down directly across from her.
"I noticed your hair's different," she mentioned, pointing a manicured nail to his head. "It's nice."
He pressed his lips into a hard line. "Your hair's different, too."
She subconsciously reached for her bun, laughing nervously. That was when he finally noticed something that made his eyes widen in utter shock.
"Where is it?" he asked coldly.
She frowned, setting her hands down. "What do you mean?"
"Your wedding ring," he said, nodding towards her hands. They were bare, apart from her long-manicured nails and golden bracelet.
Jan Di instinctively pulled her hands back and put it down on her lap, no longer in his line of sight. "I––I don't…"
"What are you doing here, Jan Di?" Ji Hoo pressed.
"You never gave me the chance to explain," she whimpered, looking like she was about to cry. "Please…Ji Hoo, please let me."
His heart thundered in his chest, but he tried to mentally calm himself down. "If you want to explain, we're doing it my way. Answer my questions truthfully and succinctly as you can."
Jan Di pursed her lips before nodding once.
"Why are you in Korea?" he started, his voice low and even.
"I needed to visit my family." Her voice was shaky. "My mom, she's…She had a stroke recently. But she's fine now."
Ji Hoo swallowed, feeling a bit of regret for his rashness. "Why isn't Jun Pyo with you?"
"I…" Jan Di seemed to be struggling with her words. "Ji Hoo, I think it would be best––"
"Just answer me, please."
"Okay," she gave in. "We're considering a divorce. Are you happy now?"
His hands immediately turned into fists, and Ji Hoo struggled to breathe evenly this time. "What did you just say?"
"We're considering it," she repeated, a single tear falling down her cheek. "It's––It's been difficult ever since the marriage. All we do is fight, then make up, then fight again…It's fucking exhausting."
"But your relationship was the same back then," Ji Hoo said. "You overcame so much already."
"Marriage is different." She wiped her tears away and sniffed. "There are so many expectations, especially for me. I want…I just wanted to be a good doctor, Ji Hoo. I wanted a good husband and a successful career. But at this rate, it's as if I can't have either. That sounds insane, doesn't it?"
"It does," he replied, but with less hostility this time. "What does Jun Pyo think?"
"He's…trying." Jan Di looked down again. "He's always trying. I know he does, and I love him for it. But…no matter how much force and effort you use on a wall, it's never going to budge."
"And you think this is a wall?"
She looked up at him sadly. "What else could it be? We're stuck in the same cycle, ever since high school. And I realized too late that in marriage, loving someone is just not good enough."
Ji Hoo continued to stare at her, processing her words. It was only after a full minute that he leaned back into his chair and relaxed his position. "Why did you want to see me?"
She put back her hand on the table, intertwining her fingers together. "I don't know."
Ji Hoo let out a sharp sigh, grinding his teeth together.
"I––" Jan Di started again, struggling to find the right words again. "I just really miss you, Ji Hoo. I really thought this would go differently. But you're…"
He raised a brow. "I'm what?"
"Different," she chose to say, sounding dejected.
For some reason, anger bubbled in his chest after hearing her words. "Different? How? Because I'm reluctant to be the man whose shoulder you cry on, still pining after you after all these years?"
She widened her eyes. "That's not what I meant."
"Is it because I want to stand up for myself now?" He continued, his voice rising in pitch slightly, but still maintaining its volume. "Because I won't let you play with my heart again?"
"Stop," she sobbed, another round of tears falling down her face. "Just please stop."
"You didn't even come to his funeral, Jan Di," he finally said, throwing a fist down on the table, causing her to jump.
Jan Di put her face in her hands, finally sobbing. Ji Hoo ignored as other patrons began to notice them, whispering among themselves. He merely stared at who was once the love of his life, weeping over something he had said.
"You're right," she finally said, putting her hands away and wiping her tears away. Her mascara was now running, and her cheeks were in an alarming shade of red.
Ji Hoo hesitated but decided to pull out his handkerchief from his pocket. "Here."
She bowed slightly as she took it from him, dabbing the ends of the fabric on her cheek. "You're right," she said again, calming down. "I should have made an effort to come, but I was too focused on Jun Pyo than anything else. You don't deserve that. Grandfather especially."
Ji Hoo was able to calm himself down as well, the rage dissipating in his chest.
"I'm really sorry, Ji Hoo," she said, smiling forlornly. "You know, if everything I have gets destroyed, my one wish would be to mend our relationship."
Ji Hoo laughed humorlessly. "Don't say things like that."
"I'm serious," she asserted, reaching out to grab his hand on the table. He thought of pulling it away, but in the end, he let her. "You're the one person who, until the very end, was good to me."
What had Myeong said? It might take a while, but eventually she'll regret losing someone as good and pure-hearted as you.
"I was, wasn't I?" Ji Hoo said, his voice contemplative.
Jan Di nodded, releasing his hand.
"Can you tell me something, then?" he asked, meeting her eyes. "With pure honesty?"
"Anything."
He put his hands on the table and leaned closer to her, studying her face. Finally, he asked his question.
"Do you regret not choosing me?"
