Preface

Where's the popcorn?
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at /works/15730305.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: 斉木楠雄のΨ難 Saiki Kusuo no Sai-nan The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Relationship: Kaidou Shun/Saiki Kusuo Characters: Saiki Kusuo, Kaidou Shun, Teruhashi Kokomi, Nendou Riki, Saiki Kuniharu, Saiki Kurumi, Yumehara Chiyo, Hairo Kineshi, Kuboyasu Aren, Mera Chisato, Toritsuka Reita Additional Tags: kaidou is a cinnamon roll, smol bean must be protected, saiki is protective as hell, Fluff, saiki is in denial, can everyone leave kaidou alone, please and thank you, let the boy live
Language: English
Collections: call 911 for I have died at the sheer perfection that are these fics Stats: Published: 2018-08-19 Completed: 2018-09-12 Words: 9,644 Chapters: 6/6 Where's the popcorn?

by laurenshappenstobemyhusband

Summary

After saving Kaidou once again from being tricked by the "Dark Reunion" at school, Saiki invites him over to his house. Only to keep him out of trouble, of course. I mean why else would he invite him over??? What follows is, well, you'll see. Lots of fluff.

Notes

Hi guys! This is my first fanfic on this ship and I'm just psyched (ha) to add to the extremely few fanfics on these two, who I think are the perfect match. Updates when I can but this fic won't be that long anyways so yeah. Sit back and enjoy the ride!

Italics: Saiki's thoughts

Bold: Other people's thoughts

Underline: Saiki's "words" (talking to other people)

The Important Dark Reunion Papers (AKA, math homework)

I better finish these quickly, before the sun sets. Can't let Dark Reunion beat me this time. The fate of the entire planet is in my hands.

Kaidou's thoughts drifted down the hallway, right to where Saiki was sitting hunched in a janitor's closet. Saiki groaned to himself, shaking his head. Every time he thought Kaidou's chuunibyou had reached it's limit, he managed to surpass it. Just thisafternoon he had been talking about the Dark Reunion poisoning hislunch.

He had refused to eat asingle bite that he didn't triple check beforehand by examining, smelling, and even licking. It was very odd to watch, so it was almost lucky no one else really sat with them at lunch.Whoever did already knew about Kaidou's quirks and didn't make a big deal out of it. Indeed, Hairo was cheering Kaidou on the entire time, sweating way too much as usual.

"Come on Kaidou! You can check it even faster! Push yourself to the limit!" Hairo had challenged himself earlier to eat his entire lunch in less than a minute, so he had plenty of time to motivate Kaidou, who was staring at his sandwich with fierce determination.

Even so, by the time lunch ended, he only managed to eat three bites of his sandwich. Before he could pack up the rest for later, Nendou tookwhatever was left and ate it in one swallow, joking about how Kaidou would become even runtier if he didn't eat more. Kaidou had protested, but couldn't do anything but whine and pull at Nendou's sweater sleeve. Nendou was simply too big.

Saiki didn't say a word the whole time, focusing all his attention on the coffee jelly his mom always packed with his lunch. He even excused the sappy note she left with it, as it was payment enough for the treat.

If only it could just be me and this coffee jelly instead of these idiots, my life would be complete.

Now, a few hours later, Saiki felt his stomach rumbling. The coffee jelly seemed like it was decades ago. He could technically teleport home and grab another one, but he didn't want to risk missing the boy who gave Kaidou the "extremely important Dark Reunion-defeating" papers as he left the school. They were, of course, just homework pages from math class, but Kaidou was way too trusting when it came to Dark Reunion related matters. That was why Saiki was sitting there, crouched over a janitor's cart, planning his next move.

It all started a few weeks earlier. Class had just ended and they were about to walk hometogether like they did every day, despite Saiki's annoyance. Luckily, Kaidou and Nendou were blabbering about separate topics, which cancelled out their voices and allowed Saiki to block them both out. Nendou wastalking about a new ramen place he just visited and wanted to show them, while Kaidou was describing his secret base for the fourth time that week. It was too much for any one person to handle. But before they walked through the gates, Kaidou stopped suddenly.

"You guys go ahead," he said with a small, secretive grin. "I have to do something important late at school. I'll see you tomorrow."

With that he turned and walked back into the school building, bandages arms swinging at his sides. Nendou shrugged and turned to Saiki, probably to suggest that they go get some ramen. But where Saiki had been a few seconds earlier, there was nothing but air. Nendou, being a bit of an airhead himself, looked around for a few seconds before leaving for home by himself. Saiki wasn't worried that he would be suspicious; this was Nendou, after all.

And where was Saiki? Tailing Kaidou, invisible, to his "important" after school activity. Because while he had been making up excuses, Saiki heard the truth loud and clear.

I can't believe they chose me of all people to finish the top secret documents. I mean, of course I am the most suitable to go against the Dark Reunion, but it's a surprise nonetheless. I had no idea there was another member of the Judgement Knights of Thunder at our school. A leader, no less. Looks like math, but it's probably some sort of secret equation.

This had already happened a few times before, but Saiki had ignored it. After all, if Kaidou was gullible enough to fall for it every time, then he deserved to do these bullies' homework. After the fourth time, however, Saiki found it to be too much. So he tailed Kaidou all the way to the "mysterious" room, where a classmate was waiting to collect the homework. After Kaidou dropped off the papers and left with a satisfied smile, Saiki made his move. Let's just say this kid was in no shape to trick anyone for a long time after that.

Since then, Saiki had been watching out for Kaidou, making sure whoever lied to him would pay. The numbers were diminishing since Saiki started dealing with them, but there were plenty of kids who pounced on the opportunity to benefit from Kaidou's childishness.

Mind you, Saiki wasn't doing it for Kaidou's sake. He merely wanted to deal with the scum of the school. And if it helped Kaidou, then so be it.

This latest bully was especially crafty. Not only did he get Kaidou to do his homework, but he also got his wallet. Kaidou was what many would call wealthy, and he preyed on that. Kaidou of course didn't mind in the slightest. As long as it was for the sake of defeating the Dark Reunion.

Good grief. This kid needed serious help.

After sitting in the darkness of the closet for who knows how long, Saiki finally sensed that Kaidou was moving. He turned invisible and carefully crept out, making sure no one else was around to see the closet door open on its own accord. He pinpointed Kaidou on the second floor, in the math classroom. Typical. The bully wasn't even trying to hide it.

Saikibegan making his way downstairs. He heard a little bit of the conversation between Kaidou and the kid, who was wearing a hood that covered almost his whole face. Something about destruction, and warriors, and bloodshed. Saiki didn't give a crap about any of it, but he itched to show this kid a piece of his mind, so he patiently waited for the conversation to end. When Kaidou finally left--almost exactly 10 minutes after Saiki turned invisible--Saiki crept behind the kid, who was looking through the homework with a gleeful look on his face.

All correct! I'll never have to do homework myself again!

Not exactly,Saiki thought, shutting off the lights completely.

You might not be able to hold a pencil after this, though.

When he was sure the boy got the message, Saiki snuck out, careful to avoid being seen by the shaken boy, who was still rocking back and forth on the ground. Saiki had taken the wallet, along with whatever else the boy had stolen throughout the day. It was quite an amount, but Saiki had no use for it. He merely wanted to get home and relax a little. He was exhausted from staying invisible for so long, along with following Kaidou using clairvoyance and reading his mind the entire time he was filling out the worksheets. Just thinking about having to spend another precious afternoon doing this when he could be at home resting made Saiki's head hurt.

He teleported home and collapsed onto him bed without bothering to eat dinner.

Something has to be done about this, he thought to himself before passing out completely.

Of Tennis Club and Ramen

Chapter Summary

Saiki has a plan to give himself a day off from beating up Kaidou's bullies. Too bad EVERY OTHER CHARACTER--sorry, person--is determined to interfere.

Chapter Notes

Hey guys, just got back from Niagara Falls. It was nice there but I was itching to get back to writing this. Still summer break so hopefully I'll have lots of time to update this week and next week.

The next day Saiki woke up with a plan already formulating. He would find Kaidou some sort of after schoolclub so he'd be too busy to do other people's homework.Then Saiki would finally be free to do what he always did after school: read and watch tv all by himself while pretending the outside world didn't exist. Didn't sound like much, but it was heaven to him, especially after not having any breaks for so long.

He was so distracted by his own thoughts he forgot to avoid his dad, who was eating breakfast and reading the paper. As usual, he had something he "needed" Saiki to do.

"Saiki! Thank goodness! I'm already late for work and I need you to teleport me there." His father stood up and beamed at him, thinkingIt's about time.

Doesn't really look like you're in much of a hurry,Saiki thought, glancing at his father, who was only wearing one shoe. Saiki wanted to get to school early to look at the different clubs, but he knew his father wouldn't get him coffee jelly if he left him there. And coffee jelly was key to a relaxing solitary afternoon. With a sigh, Saiki quickly teleported to the roof of his father's building, not bothering to warn him first. This led to his dad only having one shoe with him at the office, but by the time he turned to complain, Saiki was already gone.

You'd think he mistakens me for a public bus,Saiki thought annoyed from a bush a few blocks from school. Usually he would just walk to school from home to make sure no one saw his powers. The distraction that was his father, however, made it hard to leave without being tormented for a ride. Parents, am I right?

Finally Saiki made it to the building, where a few students were already walking in. He was early, but not as early as he would have liked. He wouldn't want to be caught taking an interest in any of the clubs he had no interest in joining. It would only complicate the schedule he was hoping to free. He resolved to check them out during lunch, when everyone else would be preoccupied.

As luck would have it, however, during lunch he was sought out by none other than Nendou. Saiki easily avoided his other friends searching for him--Teruhashi was a major problem--but Nendou took him completely by surprise. As he was dragged to the lunchroom, Saiki vowed to never be friends with such idiots like Nendou after high school. Too unpredictable.

At his table, everyone else was already eating. Kaidou was deep in conversation with Kuboyasu about Dark Reunion, while the latter nodded along, completely confused. Yumehara was on Kaidou's other side, trying to get his attention but failing miserably. Mera was too busy stuffing her face to pay attention to anyone else at the table. And Hairo was nowhere to be seen, though Saiki could hear his thoughts from somewhere outside the school.

I'll run all the way around the school 20 times. No, 50. NO, 100! I can't slack off now. Not when Nendou is still faster than me.

Teruhashi was also missing from the table, but it was obvious where she was. A large crowd out boys had gathered in the middle of the lunchroom, so it was a safe assumption that she was in the middle of it. Saiki heard her annoyed thoughts as she tried to leave, but there were too many of them. He didn't feel like rescuing her, as that would draw attention to himself. Anyways, she dealt with it before. She would be fine.

Saiki yanked his arm back from Nendou and sat down at the very end of the table, unwrapping his lunch as quietly as he could. Maybe he could finish early and leave before anyone noticed. But of course, Nendou had to announce, "Found him! He was in the hallway, by the club sign up sheets."

All at once everyone at the table turned to Saiki, who had just taken a bite and almost spit it out. All at once everyone starting talking to him at once, shouting to be heard like at a press conference.

"A club? You always told me you're too busy for extracurriculars," Yumehara said, squinting.

"If you're looking for a club, my tennis club is always looking for new members," said Hairo, back from his run.

"I also have a club you could join. Well, it's more of a gang than a club, but we do some pretty fun stuff." Kuboyasu, with a glint in his eyes.

"What about the occult club? You never show up anyways." Toritsuka, appearing out of nowhere.

"You're joining a club? I was always thinking about joining one. Maybe we can do one together." Teruhashi, who finally broke free from her mob of admirers.

And of course:

"Clubs are just the work of the Dark Reunion. I don't really like those," Kaidou said with a shrug. Of course Saiki already knew he felt this way, but he thought maybe he could convince him somehow. Now it would only look odd.

His entire plan in pieces, Saiki spent the rest of lunch not speaking to anyone, his mind racing. He had to find some way to make sure Kaidou left school that day. Because Saiki heard Kaidou's thoughts through the mayhem, clear as day. And they were just as bad as he had expected.

Another assignment already? Dark Reunion must be getting stronger.

Saiki gritted his teeth. Damn this school and damn its students and damn Kaidou for being so gullible. Why does everything in the universe always insist on ruining his day?

Saiki didn't notice his hands getting hotter and hotter until Nendou shouted, "What's that smell? Something's burning." Helooked down at the table and saw he melted the metal a little, leaving handprints. He restored it quickly and thankfully no one noticed. But this put him on edge a little. He had to think of a solution quick, before it got him caught.

By his last class, Saiki still hadn't thought of anything. It wasn't as if class had distracted him; if anything, the lull of the teacher's voice made it easier for Saiki to block everything out as best as he could. No, he simply couldn't think of a way to get Kaidou out of it without sacrificing his afternoon. No matter what he did, it always ended with him accompanying Kaidou to wherever he sent him, or having to watch over him anyway invisibly.

When the final bell rang, Saiki's mind was blank, and not in the good way. This didn't stop him from carefully avoiding all of his friends, however. They would only further complicate matters. He got his shoes and was about to leave, having given in to Kaidou's fate, when he walked right into Nendou.

Good grief

"Hey pal. Wanna get some ramen?"

Normally this would only be a low level threat. He could easily distract Nendou by pointing in a random direction and make a break for it in the other. Today, however, he got unlucky. Teruhashi had been walking past at that moment, and her ears perked up at the word "pal". That girl had ears like a hawk for these kinds of things.

"You guys are getting ramen? Maybe I'll join you," she said nonchalantly.

Joining these two to get ramen will certainly make their day, if not their entire year. I didn't tell them in advance, so the surprise should make Saiki gasp right away. Nendou's already transfixed. Normally I would never spend time with the likes of him, but of course I'm the perfect girl.

Indeed, Nendou was frozen in place at her words. Saiki was hoping he would refuse, as it was really sudden. But of course, like any time Teruhashi spoke to him, Nendou was merely stunned by her beauty.

"T-Teruhashi. Of course you can come."

Useless.

When he said her name, every male ear in the school perked up. Soon everyone was begging to come, or offering a better place for Teruhashi to go with them. With the rush came Toritsuka, eager to come along, and Kuboyasu, who wanted to see what all the commotion was about. Even Hairo came, saying something about needing the exercise.

No you don't. You don't need any exercise at all. Seriously, take a break for once.

Saiki listened to all their thoughts, looking for an out. There was no way he could disappear in front of all these people, and he couldn't just leave. Teruhashi's servants--sorry, classmates--would stop him immediately under her command. Just when he had resigned himself to losing his afternoon, he heard a voice in the back.

What's this? Maybe I was too late with the assignment. Jade Knives did say I should finish it as soon as possible. I should prepare my powers to fight, just in case.

Kaidou was all the way at the edge of the crowd, but Saikishoved his way to him, knocking over a few lovesick Teruhashi fans in the process. Kaidou looked surprised to see him, but before he could do anything, Saiki dragged him to the center of the mob, where Teruhashi and Nendou stood looking for him.

"Sorry guys," he called out. "I already told Kaidou I would spend the afternoon with him." At the mention of his name, Kaidou's head snapped up. He turned to Saiki, probably to correct him, but Saiki shot him a look.

"Uh, yeah, me and Saiki and hanging out," Kaidou called, and Teruhashi spun around in anger. In any other situation Kaidou would give in instantly, saying he would just meet up with Saiki a different time. In this case, Saiki made sure he didn't say a word.

After a moment of glaring, Teruhashi left, her fans following her like puppies. Nendou also left, shrugging at Saiki andKaidou, who still couldn't speak.

When there was no one else left, Kaidou turned to Saiki.

"I know you only said that to get out of ramen with Nendou. I mean, I get why. Now that he's gone, you don't need to pretend we have plans anymore." Kaidou looked down at his shoes, and something in Saiki's heart gave a pull. That, and Kaidou's thoughts, which were,I'm sure if I hurry Jade Knives will still be there.

Saiki mentally waved goodbye to his afternoon plans and grabbed Kaidou's sleeve. Ignoring his stutters, he started walking to his house, Kaidou in tow.

"I-I have to give someone something," Kaidou protested weakly, but Saiki took one look at the paper and said, "This looks a lot like homework." That shut Kaidou up pretty quickly, and soon his thoughts were filled withI've never been to Saiki's house beforeandI kinda like being pulled like this.

Saiki stopped listening, caught in his own thoughts. He didn't really know what to do with Kaidou, but it wasn't the worst way to spend an afternoon.

The long, long, LONG walk home

Chapter Summary

Saiki and Kaidou walk home, while Kaidou wonders what they'll do. Saiki, of course, has no clue himself.

Chapter Notes

Free day today, so I'm updating. Thank you sooooo much to everyone who left a comment. I really appreciate it and it's just good feels, ya know? Also thanks to everyone who leaves kudos, because those are also awesome. I'm thinking of writing a Kaidou x Kuboyasu one next. Maybe a one shot, maybe longer, so comment if you guys think it's a good idea

Saiki and Kaidou kept walking, each thinking hard to themselves.

Saiki's still holding on to my sleeve. Does it mean anything? Should I walk faster? Is this like holding hands???? Deep breaths, calm down. You don't want Saiki to let go, do you? He's never really made contact with you before, or anyone else for that matter. Don't screw this up. Who knows when he'll invite you over again?

Kaidou's facewent pinkish, but he didn't say anything out loud.

Indeed, Saiki was still gripping Kaidou's shirt sleeve, more out of habit than anything. He didn't really think about it until Kaidou did, and he hesitated.

Should I drop it? I don't want Kaidou to get suspicious if I suddenly let go right after he thinks that. His overactive imagination might jump to conclusions. No, better to just keep holding on and hope for the best. It's not like he thinks it's a bad thing anyways.

So they continued walking, neither of themspeaking to the other. Kaidou looked like he wanted to say something, but he always stopped right before a sound came out. Saiki of course could hear his thoughts, so he already knew what Kaidou was going to ask before he spoke out loud.

"Hey, um, Saiki. Can we stop at my house before we go to yours? I just want to tell my mom I'm going to your house so she won't be concerned."

What did you tell her all those other times you stayed after school?

"Here, I'll show you the way to my house." Saiki remembered the way from last time he came with Nendou, and he could read the address from Kaidou's mind, but it would be suspicious for him toknow something like that. So when Kaidou pulled his sleeve from Saiki's grasp andheld his hand instead, Saiki took it. Kaidou's handwas freezing, so Saiki used pyrokinesis to warmit up a little. He wouldn't want Kaidou getting sick or something

The last time Saiki held hands with someone was when he had to pull Teruhashi away from her brother in the neighboring town. He shuddered a little just remembering that awful experience of running around town all day, avoiding the creep and Teruhashi's fans. Well, the cake wasn't bad, but still.

This time, however, felt different. While last time was out of pure necessity, this had a little more thought put into it. Saiki didn't know how he felt about it exactly, but it wasn't a bad feeling. Kaidou, meanwhile, was mentally losing his crap.

ASDFGJSDNAJBDJSD. He's... holding... my... hand. Wow. This is nice.I didn't expect his hands to be so warm. I just hope he's not uncomfortable. I never really held hands with anyone before, and this was kind of sudden. Was I supposed to warn him first?

Kaidou looked down at his feet, ears completely red. With his mind so distracted, they would get lost for sure. Regardless, Saiki was reluctant to do something. Seeing Kaidou all embarrassed was... cute. Like a chihuahua. It was only when they made their third wrong turn that Saiki finally intervened.

He tapped him on the shoulder, and when Kaidou finally lookedupat him, Saiki gave his hand a small, reassuring squeeze. This, however, only made Kaidou blush harder.He squeaked a little, and his face blazed.His thoughts were going so fast Saiki couldn't keep up, but at least he was looking at where they were going. Kaidou kept his eyes on the sidewalk ahead, but every so often snuck a glace at Saiki. Saiki pretended not to notice, for Kaidou's sake. He didn't think it would be healthy for his face to be any redder.

Finally they arrived at Kaidou's house. Saiki let go of Kaidou's hand, and Kaidou sighed. Only the tiniest bit, but Saiki still heard it.

Hmph. My hand is cold again. Why did we come here again? Oh right, my mom. I want her to see I finally found a good... friend. Yeah, friend. She'll be glad I'm hanging out with Saiki since he's really smart.

Saiki waited outside while Kaidou went in his house to find his mom. Saiki wouldn't be proud to say he eavesdropped, but then again he did it to everyone. Using his clairvoyance, he focused in on Kaidou, who was standing in the hallway with his mom.

"What is it, Shun-kun?" his mom asked, hands on her hips. She was a strict lady, very focused on education. Saiki didn't blame her, but it did make it hard for Kaidou to talk to her.

"Mama, I'm going to Saiki's house. You met him before. Pink hair, glasses..."

"Oh, Saiki! I remember him. Very smart kid. Finished all of my workbooksin crazy time. Of course you can go to his house. Just be sure to do all of your homework while you're there."

Kaidou breathed a sigh of relief, thanked his mom, and was about to leave when his momput out her hand to stop him. He waited a second before she spoke.

"I'm glad you have such good friends," his mom said beaming, messing his hair up a little.

"Mama!" Kaidou protested, trying to fix his already messy hair, but to no avail. Finally he gave up, leaving his hair looking like it was struck by lightning. Then again, it usually looked like that. He looked back at his momand murmured, "Me too."

When Kaidou finally walked out the front door, Saiki was pretending to read a newspaper he found on the floor. Something something politics something. Saiki didn't really care about politics, as he could easily take over earth (or destroy it) if he wanted to.He put it down and looked up at Kaidou, who still had a strand of hair sticking straight up on his head. Wordlessly, Saiki reached out and pushed it down flat.

"All better," he said, while Kaidou's mouth dropped open. Saiki smiled a littleinwardly, enjoying Kaidou's reaction.

He blushes really easily. I wonder how red he can get.

Forgetting his thoughts from before about how it could be unhealthy, Saiki made it his mission to see just how deeply he could make Kaidou blush. And he knew just where to start.

"We should get going to my house before it gets dark," Saiki said,takingKaidou's hand suddenly. This caused the other boy, who immediately turned scarlet, to go a little off balance. Saiki steadied him with his other hand, putting it right where he knew Kaidou's heart was beating way too quickly. His face went an even deeper shade of crimson. Saiki mentally high fived himself.

"Th-thanks,"Kaidousaid when he regained the ability to speak, eyes wide. When Saiki was sure he could stand by himself (which did take a little while), they started walking again, Saiki leading this time. Kaidou's only thought wasDamn, and his heart rate never completely returned to normal.

Because Kaidou didn't know the way to Saiki's house, Saiki took advantage of it and went the long way home, looking for any opportunity to make the smaller boy's face burn.

This must be how Teruhashi feels when she tries to make me gasp,Saiki realized. But this was a game Saiki knew he could win easily. After all, anything he did caused Kaidou to hyperventilate a little.

As soon as he saw the arcade, he immediately forgot about going home. Kaidou didn't protest, his eyes lighting up at all the different shooter games. While he shot zombies and fought monsters, Saiki went straight to the claw machines. His abilities made it easy for him to see which ones worked and which ones didn't, and he easily won a giant stuffed dog. How fitting.

When he presented the dog to Kaidou, his face matched the stop sign he was using to beat up him opponent. Saiki smiled at his expression, which was a mix of surprise and childlike joy. He was so overcome he lost the game and didn't notice. Having completed his objective, Saiki took the hand that wasn't holding the dog and led him out. He had other places to take him.

After that Saiki took Kaidou to the movies, even though he knew what would happen the moment he entered the theater. This gave him the chance to do that thing where you yawn and put your arm around the other person. Except Saiki didn't bother fake yawning. After all, he wasn't trying to be discreet. And even by the faint light of the screen Saiki could see Kaidou's deeply flushed face grinning at him. Saiki smiled back, feeling accomplished.

As it was getting dark, Saiki only wanted to bring Kaidou to one more place. Already his face was permanently flushed, and he was still clutching the dog tightly under one arm.

I wonder where Saiki wants to go now. This entire evening was a surprise. I just thought we were going to his house. But it's been a long time since I had this much fun. Even if I didn't get to see his house, I'm glad I got to spend time with him.

Saiki, too, realized he enjoyed himself a lot that evening, even though he didn't set out to. And the last place he wanted to go would be the perfect end to a perfect evening.

"Close your eyes," he said, and Kaidou listened. Saiki put his hand over his eyes just in case he was looking, and also because any time he made contact with Kaidou he turned pink. Not a full blush anymore, but he still looked adorable.

Saiki walked for a while in no specific direction, guiding Kaidou to make sure he didn't bump into anything. Thenhe teleported them both to his favorite spot on Earth, the Grand Canyon. It was always really peaceful there, and the view was spectacular. He went there to practice rock crushing sometimes. Maybe with someone else Saiki would be more careful, but he wanted to show Kaidou something spectacular. And when he removed his hands, he knew it was worth it.

"Wow," Kaidou breathed, looking everywhere. He sat down on a rock and was taking everything in with wide, awestruck eyes. Saiki was pleased he finally got to show it to someone, and was going to suggest they go home when he noticed something that made his heart stop. Kaidou wasn't staring at the view; he was looking at the sky.

"Uh, Saiki? Why's it daytime here?"

And indeed it was.

Exploding Garbage

Chapter Summary

After making a huge mistake, Saiki doesn't know what to do.

Chapter Notes

Just realized that I took the story in a different direction than I thought so the title doesn't apply anymore. Whoops. Sorry for the cliffhanger last time (although this one might also have one sorry...) Getting close to the end, which is sad, but I'll make sure there's a good ending!

Damn.

Saiki quickly grabbed Kaidou and teleported them back to where they came from, but the damage was done. Kaidou's entire face had a shocked and confused look, and his thoughts were going a mile a minute.

What just happened??? One minute we were in somerocky area which I never saw before AND IT WAS DAYLIGHT and the next we're back where we started. I know it wasn't an illusion because I'm positive Saiki saw it too. This is more real than anything the Dark Reunion has done so far, and I have no idea what it even was. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?! I'll ask Saiki. Maybe he'll have some idea of what we just went through.

Kaidou turned to ask Saiki just that, but he didn't see him anywhere.

"Saiki!" he shouted, squinting in the dark in an effort to find him. But no matter how hard he squinted, he wouldn't be able to see Saiki, who had gone invisible and was panickingjust around the corner. He put on the germanium ring with shaking hands, needing silence to think.

I am an idiot. That was the dumbest thing I could've done. Of course it would be daytime! How could I forget the time difference??? I bought myself some time by turning invisible, but I can't stay like this forever. I don't want Kaidou to think I left him by himself. Gotta think, gotta think. Maybe I can just blame it on the Dark Reunion? No, I don't want to contributehis chuunibyou. At this rate he wouldn't be over it for years. Or maybe I could pretend I didn't see anything? No, he obviously saw my reaction.

Saiki stood wracking his brain until the ten minutes were almost up. Finally, inspiration struck.

I'll just hit him with the forgetting banana. I'll block out all memory of tonight, and then he won't suspect a thing. His replacement memory could be bad, but definitely not as bad as this.

Satisfied, Saiki turned visible again and was about to round the corner when he hesitated. It was like his body refused to get any closer to Kaidou, and no matter how hard Saiki tried, he couldn't bring himself to erase the night from Kaidou.

One side of his brain was going, This isn't good! I need him to forget all about my slip up.The other side was whispering,But do you really want him not to remember your amazing evening? You want to go back to the way things were before?

Unable to block out either side, Saiki finally put the banana-like object away and sank to the floor. He was a mess. There was no way that Kaidou would want anything to do with him...

Wait. Where did this thought come from?

Saiki shook his head and tried focusing on how bad it would be if Kaidou told his secret. But he couldn't imagine Kaidou, one of the most loyal people he knew, betraying him. No, the scariest part of this was that Kaidou might reject him, or think he's weird, or not want to be near him anymore. Because as reluctant as Saiki was to admit it, he had grown fond of Kaidou throughout that whole night.

Not just that night,his brain teased him.What about all those evenings spent in the janitor's closet?

Saiki shook his head again. This was no time to deal with complicated emotions. He needed to deal with the situation at hand, which was keeping Kaidou from finding out about his powers. He finally decided on just feigning ignorance when he noticed something odd. He couldn't hear Kaidou's thoughts anywhere.

Oh, right. The ring.

Saiki removed the germanium ring and carefully put it back in his bag. But when he could use his telepathy again, he was greeted with ashock. He couldn't hear Kaidou's thoughts, but he heard another man's loud and clear.

Dumb kid. Walking around with all this stuff alone at night. It's like he was asking to be robbed. Someone was bound to take it. Why not me? I better run before he wakes up.

Saiki ran around the corner and found a middle aged man holding Kaidou's bag and wallet, looking through the contents. A little farther back he could see Kaidou slumped against a wall, not moving.

Seeing Saiki, the man started running away, but he was no match for Saiki's speed.Saiki was so livid a garbage can exploded next to him, but he didn't pay it any mind. He only had eyes for one target.

After he finished dumping the unconscious man's tied up body outside the police station, Saiki practically flew back to where he left Kaidou. The boy was still unconscious, and Saiki could see blood trickling from the back of his head.

Oh god.

Luckily, the wound wasn't too bad, but Kaidou's pale blue hair was covered in bright red blood. Saiki thought he owed it to him to at least clean him up a little, since if he hadn't put on the ring, he could've stopped it earlier. And if he wasn't so dumb as to teleport him, they wouldn't be in the situation to begin with.

Saiki looked through his bag and found a crumpled up napkin left from his lunch. Not the best option, but it was better than nothing. He poured some water on it and began gently cleaning Kaidou's head, placing it carefully on his lap. He didn't know what it would look like to someone passing by, but priorities. Kaidou's hair was soft where it wasn't matted with blood, and Saiki fought the urge to run his fingers through it. He didn't know if Kaidou wouldwant him anywhere near him when he woke up, and Saiki wanted to respect that. Didn't stop him from "accidentally" brushing his cheek a few times with his hand while he was cleaning though.

He was almost finished wiping up the last of it when Kaidou stirred. Saiki didn't know whether to lay him on the ground or lean him against the wall again, but by the time he made up his mind Kaidou's eyes were fully open.

"Saiki?" heasked slowly, blinking a few times. "Where did you go? I was looking everywhere for you. And then..." Kaidou brought his hand to the back of his head, wincing when he touched the scratch.

"I only went to the bathroom. I'm sorry for worrying you," Saiki said, crossing his fingers that Kaidou would buy it. And the smaller boy went along with it, although he still had a hurt expression on his face.

"I wish you would've told me before you left," he murmured, sitting up slowly. "You would not believethe crazy stuff thathappened while you were gone."

He rested his cheek on Saiki's shoulder, still woozy, and Saiki stiffened a little before ultimately putting his arm around him.

Saiki's warm. Maybe I can just stay like this for a little while. I'm exhausted.

I don't think he remembers the Grand Canyon thing right now. Kaidou won't want anything to do with me when he finds out what I am, so better to just treasure these moments while they're still here.

"Can you continue doing what you were before? It felt nice," Kaidou said drowsily. Saiki knew it probably wasn't a good idea to let him sleep if there was a possibility of a concussion, but Kaidou's worn out face made the decision for him. The boy deserved a little break. So he laid his head back down onto his lap and finished wiping up the blood.

Saiki was tempted to just sit there for a while, Kaidou sleeping and him not having to explain the teleporting thing, but it was getting really late and Saiki knew that Kaidou's mom would get concerned. So, wincing a little, he lightly shook Kaidou awake. The other boy grumbled a bit, but sat up, looking at Saiki through half closed eyes.

Where am I?

Then suddenly Kaidou remembered everything that happened that night. Everything, including the teleportation disaster. He sat up straighter, and looked at Saiki with inquiring eyes.Saiki didn't know what he would say, but he knew he owed Kaidou an explanation. He planned on using the Dark Reunion excuse, but what came out was something entirely different.

"Kaidou, I'm a psychic."

Explaining

Chapter Summary

Saiki finally tells Kaidou everything.

Chapter Notes

Hi guys! Sorry for not updating for so long but school just started and it's pretty hectic. Still, I'll try to update regularly from now on (even though this fic is almost over :( )

"Kaidou, I'm a psychic."

Kaidou took about a minute to respond, his expression switching between confusion and mirth.

I know he's joking. I just want to know why. Or maybe it's like the Dark Reunion for me. Mine is real, of course, but I'll hear him out. Maybe he'll tell me what really happened before.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, trying to keep a serious face.

Saikididn't like having his actual abilities being compared to the "oh so real" Dark Reunion, but this was to be expected. Until the whole teleportation disaster, he hadconsidered himself an expert at hiding his powers. But evenafter the whole fiasco no one would think"psychic"without proof. Lucky for Saiki, he had plenty of it. And he knew exactly how to prove it to him.

Saiki didn't bother explaining it to Kaidou before he did it. That would take too much time and also make him sound linsane. Instead, he simply walked over to where Kaidou was sitting and placed his hands on his head. Almost immediately, the wound disappeared and Kaidou looked brand new. Well, as new as he had looked the day before. That was how restoration worked, after all.

Saiki stepped away, marveling his handiwork. Not a bad job indeed. This would definitely show Kaidou just what he was capable of. Kaidou, meanwhile, didn't have a clue of what was going on, and was still skeptical. Not for long though.

What did he do?Kaidou thought, putting his hand where Saiki's had been just a moment prior. Then his hand froze in place, and his eyes went wide.

The... the wound. Where's the wound?Kaidou had begun to stand up at that point, but now he sat back down unconsciously, hand not moving from his head. He patted his head, feeling around for the scratch that wasn't there. Saiki waited patiently for the reaction that would no doubt come very soon. He was not wrong.

"My head," Kaidou murmured almost to himself, staring atSaikiwith a gleam in his eyes. "You fixed my head. How?"

Saikirelished his reaction, more than a little pleased he wasn't already running awayor gathering an angry mob. He could probably fight off an angry mob--he never really tried before--but what a hassle that would be. Maybe he read too many fantasy novels. Anyway...

"I told you, I'm a psychic. You can't tell anyone though," Saiki responded calmly. He sat down next to Kaidou, who was even then still feeling his head, as if trying to find the trick. When it was clear there was none, Kaidou tapped Saiki on the shoulder, looking awestruck and almost a little shy. Which was ridiculous, since they had just spent the entire afternoon together.

"What else can you do?" he asked in a breathy voice.

"Telepathy, pyrokinesis, psychometry, duplication, time travel (but it's complicated), transformation, super strength, super speed, invisibility, flight, apportation, and x-ray vision," Saiki said quickly. Kaidou took a little time to process, but when he did his face turned bright red.

"You have x-ray vision?!" he exclaimed, clutching his knees to his chest.Saiki was expecting a much bigger reaction, but this was Kaidou after all. He was constantly caught up in his own fantasy world. And he supposed x-ray vision would be a big deal to someone who didn't have it every second of every day.

"Relax," he said, putting his hand on the other boy's arms. "It's the same for everyone. I can't control it, but when I blink it resets itself."

Everyone, huh. I guess I shouldn't feel too special. Not that I should feel special! This whole powers thing is messing with me, I know it.

Kaidou's face was still red, but he put his arms down and returned to sitting regularly. The two of them sat in silence for a bit, Kaidou taking in all of Saiki's powers. He sat expressionless for so long Saiki was afraid he was considering the whole angry mob thing. But after running his hand along the back of his head one more time, Kaidou began to talk.

"I always knew there was something different about you," he said, looking down, suddenly fascinated by his shoes. "Like that one time in the beginning of the year when there was a snake. I thought for a while that it was me who killed it. But I was never able to redo the trick. And the only one who wasn't really impressed was you. As if you knew it wasn't really me who did it."

Saiki patted Kaidou's arm consolingly, but he wasn't done.

"And when we were on the island and all the tools and food washed ashore. I didn't think much of it at the time, but when I was retelling the story to everyone at school, I realized how crazy it sounded. Then again we were all pretty crazy there." They both smiled a littleas they remembered Kaidou's marker covered face screaming about cannibalism. Then Kaidou's face turned serious again, and helooked up at Saiki, his eyes oddly intense.

"The point is, I meant what I said in my letter. About how I always felt like I was under your protection. And now I know itwas really true." Kaidou's face was flushed by the end part, and his eyes had a sort of passion in them. Saiki was vaguely reminded of Hairo, and it wasn't a bad look on Kaidou. He rarely had much confidence, and when he did it was a wonder to see. So when he leaned over and kissed Saiki (on the cheek, but nevertheless a kiss) Saiki almost wasn't surprised. Almost being the key word.

For a few seconds afterwards there was more than a little tension in the air.

Why did I do that?! We didn't even establish that this was a date. It seemed a hell of a lot like one to me but maybe he doesn't feel the same way. I should've asked! God I'm such an idi-

But at that point his thoughts were cut off as Saiki leaned forward and kissed him back, on the mouth this time. All thoughts of Saiki being a psychic and the island and anything else disappeared as soon as their lips met. Saiki was glad Kaidou was too shocked to think anything, because his own mind was oddly empty, and it was a nice quiet feeling. All light and feathery and whatnot. He supposed that was what all the books were talking about, but he didn't feel like thinking about romantic cliches at the moment. He just wanted to focus on the small, squeaky, flushed, blue haired boy who was currently running his fingers in Saiki's hair.

After what was both a few seconds and a billion years, they broke apart, Kaidou breathing heavily. His words matched his thoughts exactly.

"Wow."

Saiki had to agree with him on that. It was... wow. He wasn't much for sentimentality, but he didn't mind that at all. And he continued not to mind when they crashed back into each other, this time Kaidou initiating.

It seemed like time didn't pass when they were holding on to each other, but when they broke apart for the second time and Kaidou stifled a yawn, Saiki knew it was getting pretty late. As much as he didn't want to leave, he knew Kaidou's mom would be expecting him very soon.

"We should get going," Saiki said, standing up slowly and brushing the dirt off his clothes. Kaidou protested (a lot) but ultimately listened after yawning a few more times.

What a child,Saiki thought fondly, gazing at the small boy in front of him who DESPERATELY needed some sleep. He did them both a favor and teleported them to Kaidou's house, Saiki using clairvoyance to make sure no one else would be there. When they arrived there a second later, Kaidou's eyes were wide again.

"So that's what you did before!" he exclaimed, and Saiki shushed him before he would wake up the neighbors. Kaidou continued, quieter this time.

"Where did you take us anyways?" he whispered.

"The Grand Canyon," Saiki responded.

"It's beautiful."

"We can go there again some time, if you'd like."

"I'd love that."

They stood quietly for a moment, neither wanting to leave. Finally, Kaidou leaned in and kissed Saiki softly, standing on tip toes because they were standing this time.

"I have to go to sleep," he whispered against his lips, "but I had an amazing time tonight. Thanks."

"Pleasure's all mine," Saiki responded, finally releasing the boy. They waved, and then parted ways, Kaidou walking up the path to his house and Saiki walking home. He could teleport, but he needed some reflection time.

So me and Kaidou are dating now, he thought to himself.This isn't so bad. I kinda like it. He's not that annoying once you really get to know him.

When he arrived at home, his parents were already in bed sleeping. Saiki went to his room and found his abandoned manga on his bed, calling to him. He smiled wistfully and put it back on his bookshelf, not even bothering to save the page. He wouldn't have that many afternoons alone anymore to read. And maybe that's not such a bad thing.

The Conclusion

Chapter Summary

Saiki and Kaidou finally make their relationship public. Epilogue type chapter. Teruhashi reacts as well as you'd expect.

Chapter Notes

Hey guys! Sorry for not updating in so long but holidays are over and I'm ready to finally finish this fic! It's been fun writing for these two nerds and I hope people keep enjoying it for a while to come (because honestly there aren't that many Saiki fics). This isn't the last Saiki fic from me, though. I'm already planning out my Kaidou x Kuboyasu fic, which I'll hopefully start soonish (but don't hold me to it). With that I say, enjoy!

One week later...

"Saiki, I have to ask you something."

Saiki smiled at the serious expression on the smaller boy's face. It was nighttime, and they were at their usual meeting place. The same spot that a week prior Kaidou almost got robbed, Saiki told him about his powers, and they kissed. Now whenever they met there--which was almost every night at this point--only the third thing happened. Saiki liked the predictability of it all. And the kissing, of course. But especially the predictability. It made him feel... normal? He never thought he'd get to use the word to describe himself.

He realized he was spacing out and turned his attention back to Kaidou, who was staring at him with an urgent expression. Normally Saiki would just read his mind to see what all the hubbub was, but today Kaidou insisted that he wear the germanium ring. The request was a bit odd, but Saiki decided it was probably best to go along with what Kaidou asked. So he had no idea what Kaidou was going to ask, but he wasn't worried. The past week had been nothing but calm, and he didn't see any conflict happening for at least a while.

He nodded his head, indicating for Kaidou to continue speaking. The poor boy looked like he was going to burst from the effort of holding in whatever he had to say. He took a deep breath.

"I-think-we-should-make-our-relationship-public," he said in one breath, his face red. He looked down at his feet, breathing heavily. "What do you say?"

Saiki was a little surprised, since they never really discussed it before. In school they acted just as they had before the whole date (even Saiki admitted to himself that it was definitely a date), with Saiki being just slightly nicer to Kaidou and Kaidou sitting just a little closer to him at lunch. After school they usually walked home , waited a few hours, and then met up at the same place, Kaidou walking and Saiki teleporting. But they didn't do much talking while they were there anyways.

Saiki thought the matter over. He knew that they would have to make it public eventually, but he didn't want the attention that would no doubt come with it. He shuddered just thinking of what Teruhashi's reaction would be. He thought her fan club was angry before, but after this? He'd be surprised if he would get a single free moment all day. He remembered what happened when Saiko angered her. He sure as hell didn't want his house to be rampaged.

Speaking of his house, hisparents wouldn't have a problem with the whole thing. They would just be happy that he genuinely liked someone. Probably cry, too. He didn't know about Kaidou's family, but since he was the one suggesting it then he probably already knew they'd be cool with it. It was really their school friends that Saiki was concerned about. All that time Saiki spent making sure he would draw as little attention as possible, gone to waste.

He was tempted to tell Kaidou he wouldn't do it, that they should just keep things the way they were. At least until he could get used to the idea. Maybe if he planned it right then no one would notice at all.

But then he looked back at Kaidou's face. He had a slight pleading expression, although he tried to mask it with apathy. Kaidou never was really good at keeping a straight face. Saiki quietly slipped off the ring, feeling justified in this action. How was he supposed to make his decision if he didn't know what Kaidou was thinking? Although he wasalmost entirelysure he already knew what he wanted.

Is Saiki embarrassed of me? I never got that vibe from him but he seems really put off by the idea. I don't think he's in the closet, but maybe that's also a problem. I should've been more considerate about it and asked him beforehand. If he doesn't want to now, then so be it. Maybe one day...

He looked up suddenly, and Saiki quickly slipped the ring back on. He was so tempted to takeKaidou up on this and just drop the issue, but something inside him wouldn't allow it. He was suddenly struck by a barrage of memories.

Here we see Kaidou, crying by himself in the bathroom while everyone in the classroom laughs at his delusions.

Here we see Kaidou and Nendou, the only ones not invited to the class karaoke.

Here we see Rifuta, talking to Yumehara about him. "Geez, he's got nothing to offer. He's like a little kid."

The more Saiki thought about it, the worse he felt about the way he treated Kaidou throughout school. He wasn't outright mean like the rest of the bullies, but he always tried his hardest to avoid talking to him because he didn't want to hear about Dark Reunion anymore. In truth, when he got closer to Kaidou, he talked about Dark Reunion less and less and sometimes even went entire conversations without mentioning them once. Saiki wouldn't consider him cured, but he felt if people really talked to him they'd see there's more to him than just his chuunibyou.

Saiki almost laughed out loud. Who was he to be thinking this? Opinions sure do change in a short period of time.

Saiki prepared his answer, and turned to Kaidou, who straightened up under his gaze.

"I think that's a great idea," he said taking Kaidou's hand. He knew he made the right decision. Kaidou perked up immediately and kissed him long and hard.

"I didn't want to influence your decision but I was really hoping you'd say that," he beamed, pulling back from Saiki. Saiki grinned a little, his doubt melting away with thestrengthof Kaidou's smile. He still didn't know what he would do about all the attention, but it would be worth it so Kaidou could see he'sworthy of attention. The good kind this time. Saiki supposed that meant he was becoming less selfish. God damn you Kaidou and your easily blushing face.

The two of them walked home then, holding hands as they always did. Kaidou hummed happily, swinging his arms a bit.

When they reached Kaidou's house they said their goodbyes and turned separate ways. But Kaidou stopped Saiki before he left. He looked almost bashful when he said, "Thanks, Saiki." He didn't elaborate on what he was grateful for, but Saiki knew anyways. He hugged him hard but didn't say anything. And when he actually did leave, he didn't look back. He liked Kaidou, but he needed contemplation time.

All throughout the walk home Saiki went over every worst case scenario in his mind. Teruhashi having him executed in the courtyard (he would of course teleport out of there but that would require showing his powers to everyone in school. And that wouldreallydraw attention to him). All this friends being extremely homophobic (he wasn't worried for his own sake, but he wasn't sure Kaidou would be able to handle it). Even the school just kicking them both out for some reason.

Saiki shook his head. He couldn't do it. He was too much of a coward. He would go back to Kaidou's house and tell him the news. Saiki could easily imagine his disappointment, but he was an understanding person. He would get it and they'd get through it and one day they'd come out together.

This seemed perfectly rational to Saiki, but another image also made itself known in his head. Kaidou's beaming smile when Saiki said they could go public. No matter how hard he tried to block it out, saying he'd go public eventually, in his heart he knew he'd keep procrastinating. If he was going to be in a public relationship, he had to do it soon. Like, tomorrow soon.

The morning started out like every other. Saiki, Kaidou, and Nendou walked to school together, the latter two arguing as usual about trivial things. Saiki and Kaidou decided they wanted to tell everyone as a group at lunch, so they acted casual in front of Nendou. Then again, even if they were making out right in front of him there's a good chance Nendou wouldn't realize.

The morning classes moved by way too quickly for Saiki. He tried not to think about lunch, because hereally didn't want his powers going off then. Sometimes he felt himself on the edge of losing control, just a hair away from his problems being twice as big.But Kaidou gave him a reassuring look every so often, so nothing exploded by the time the class was dismissed for lunch.

Saiki walked as slowly as he could to the table, filled with dread. He could see Kaidou waving to him, and he quietly sat down next to him, barely breathing. This was it. The moment of truth.

"Me and Saiki are dating," Kaidou said casually. Saiki's head practically exploded. How could he be so flippant?! Didn't he know what was at stake?! They would be executed!

But surprisingly, no one was really surprised. Kuboyasu nodded, whispering to Hairo that he saw it coming a mile away. Yumehara excused herself quickly, but that was to be expected.Toritsuka said, "Congrats. More girls for me," and Nendou and Mera didn't even appear to hear the announcement. Saiki felt his heart rate return to normal and he smiled a relieved smile in Kaidou's direction. Everything was working out ok. There was just one person left...

"What?!" Teruhashi gasped, dropping her spoon. She quickly picked it up and tried to mask her slip up, but Saiki saw it, heart dropping. The final boss.

Kaidou? I would've never seen that! Why would he choose Kaidou over me? I'm the most perfect girl on Earth. Girl...

She gasped again, as if coming to a shocking conclusion.

Of course! Saiki nevergasped when he saw me because he doesn't like girls! It all makes sense now.She smiled at Saiki, pleased with her findings, but Saiki wasn't looking in her direction. All his attention was focused at Kaidou, who looked like he was glowing a little. He moved closer to him and whispered, "Was it everything you thought it would be?"

Kaidou nodded, not trusting his throat to make coherent sounds.

All I ever wanted, he thought to himself, smiling a little. And Saiki smiled back, glad he took the chance. All he could think at that moment was that he was almost glad the kids at his school were such jerk offs. Because if he knew beating up the jack asses of his school would lead to this, he would have started a lot earlier.

Afterword

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