The arrangement at the apartment made Legoshi feel uneasy, but he couldn't put his finger on why. Lodging at Cherryton prepared him for this exact moment. Close quarters weren't the issue. Hanna barely made a peep in the spare bedroom. She was very courteous and always cleaned after herself, reminding him slightly of Haru. Yet, for the last week right after midnight, Legoshi's cravings crept into fruition. Legoshi stared at the ceiling, cradling the dwarf rabbit on his right side. He kept his breathing shallow to stay in the right mindset. Every night the carnivore cooked something. The smell was familiar. It danced around his snout and lingered on his tongue. Legoshi forced his eyes to shut tight. He couldn't let his carnivorous urges get to him, Gohin had taught him better. He drifted into his fluttering thoughts, begging for relief.
Legoshi imagined a long winding river. He pictured himself in a canoe, paddling at a comfortable cadence. There, his partner across from him, smiling. The wind softly blew her fur every which way. Legoshi let out a toothy grin, in awe of his lover's beauty. Haru leaned forward, her lids fluttering closed, anticipating a kiss. Legoshi leaned forward, her scent so mouthwatering. Without a second thought, Legoshi dropped the ores and pounced on top of her, letting his instincts win.
Legoshi shot up and gasped for air. After establishing his surroundings he looked down at his side. Haru lay there still sound asleep. Legoshi let out a relieved sigh. He hung his head into his palms. Legoshi assumed after a few years of marriage his instincts would vanish, nevertheless, they persisted. Ashamed in himself, the large gray wolf decided to calm his nerves with a glass of tea. Legoshi silently slipped out of the bedroom, not wanting to disturb Haru.
Hanna stood in front of the stove, oblivious to Legoshi's presence. The broth in the pot she was preparing began to simmer. The aroma wafted towards the wolf, causing him to salivate.
"What are you making?" He asked in a low tone. Out of shock Hanna yelped and threw the wooden spoon she was holding. She turned to meet Legoshi's gaze. "Rex, you scared me!" She said relieved. The tall wolf crouched down to pick up the utensil. He stood and handed it to her. "Thanks." She murmured, taking it and placing it in the sink. Hanna then turned off the burner. "I'm making bug broth." She said, finally answering his question. Legoshi's eyes grew wide. "Relax," Hanna cooed. "It's legal, I have my bug card." To no avail, Legoshi still felt a mix of shock and disgust. "I-" Legoshi started, still uncomfortable with confidently setting boundaries. "I don't think I'm okay with you consuming… that." He said, his eyes darting between her and the pot. Hanna exhaled through her nose. "I know it's taboo, but I kind of need it… medically." Hanna stammered. Legoshi bit the inside of his lips, anxiety building in his chest. "I understand," he uttered, fighting for control of his inner demons. Hanna realized his tense position and swiftly placed the lid on the pot. "I'm sorry," She murmured, facing away from his pain-stricken face. "I realize how difficult this may be for you." She said, lowering her head in shame. "I figured if I waited till the middle of the night to eat…" she trailed off, looking for the proper verbiage. "It would be less of a problem." She finished candidly.
The air felt as if it had been sucked out of the room. Legoshi balled his fists tightly, trying to keep his composure. He swallowed the excess saliva in his throat but nodded. "It's not that I don't understand that you need this." He said, gesturing to the broth on the stove. "It's just that… well…" his breath caught in his throat. He felt the world beginning to spin around him. "My instincts." He took a sharp breath. "I don't want to hurt her again." Hanna turned once more to face the sulk-stricken carnivore behind her. Her brows rose, surprised at the implications. Not wanting to pry, Hanna decided to change the subject. She placed a caring hand on Legoshi's shoulder. His tail subconsciously began to wag, but he tried to ignore it. "Hey, I'm sorry man." She apologized. "I promise I won't make it in the house again." They exchanged glances for a brief moment. Hanna gave a small knowing grin. She removed her hand and reached into the cupboard for her large green thermos. "I'll put this away and eat when you go to work tomorrow, no big deal." She affirmed as she moved the pot and insulated cup to the sink to pour. Legoshi nodded. "Thank you." He choked out.
Legoshi felt locked in his position, staring at Hanna finishing her task. She felt his gaze but tried to ignore it. "Did I wake you?" She asked, not looking in his direction. Legoshi's dry throat prevented him from verbally responding. All he could manage was a simple shake of the head. The one and only time he consumed an insect was doping before his brawl with Riz. The slimy warm texture brightened his senses. He appreciated the bug and mentally thanked them for giving their life and energy to his cause. He did wonder if the law were to find out about a predatory offender living with a bug consumer and what that would imply.
He must've been staring for too long, for what Hanna asked took him off guard. "Do you… want to try some?" His head whipped down to meet her. She held the thermos in his direction. "You look kind of desperate?" She questioned rather than stated. "I know I usually look the same way when I'm… hungry." He stared at the cup's contents. He could picture the warm liquid quenching a thirst he felt since he was born. Without realizing his hands drifted toward the thermos. His claws clicked around the cup, taking it into his large rugged hand. For a split second he remembered the blood of Louis's leg coating the inside of his mouth, the taste lingered for weeks. Legoshi pushed the thought down and placed the thermos harshly on the counter. He quickly chastised their roommate while looking at the floor below. "Please clean this all up by the morning." Without giving her a chance to speak, Legoshi turned and dashed to the only bathroom.
Legoshi locked the door in a hurry. The light's buzz filled the silence along with his ragged breaths. He placed his hands on either side of the sink and stared at the wild man back at him. The fur on the back of his neck and arms were raised. The world began to spin again, this time causing him to collapse to his knees. He didn't deserve to cry or sulk, but believed he deserved to feel the severe guilt crushing his lungs. Although indirectly, he put Haru in harm's way. If he couldn't get his predator instinct under control then what was the point of their marriage? Was the media right? Was he only attracted to her blood? As his thoughts scattered he drifted into a restless slumber on the cool bathroom floor.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
A loud knock on the door caused his eyes to groggily open in a flurry. The knocks repeated again, this time followed by his wife's voice. "Legoshi?" she asked in a concerned tone. "Legoshi, seriously, hurry up! I really got to go!" Legoshi quickly stretched, causing several cracking sensations in his spin. He winced but still begrudgingly opened the door. Haru darted past him and raced for the toilet. "Close please!" she announced as she pulled her pajama bottoms down. Legoshi did as he was told and closed the door, encapsulating the couple in the small room. Haru relieved herself and sighed. "Oh man, thanks! I didn't know how much longer I could hold it." Legoshi nodded in response, but the light shining through the frosted window in the shower caught his attention. "What time is it?" He asked, not realizing it was out loud. Haru flushed and hopped down, scooching past him to wash her hands. "A little after 8:30. You're lucky it's Saturday or else I would've beat the door down!" When finished she turned with a smile and looked up at her husband's face. She furrowed her brows and asked "When did you leave bed? You don't look good." Legoshi looked away from her inquisitive eyes and reached for the doorknob. Haru grasped his extended hand causing him to glance back at her. "Hey, seriously, what's going on?" He didn't want to tell Haru, how could he? The anxiety wound his stomach tighter. He attempted to open his mouth but no sound came out. Haru sighed and let go of his hand. "Still my anxious Mr. Wolf." She twitched her nose and gave him a small smile. Half of their relationship Legoshi spent in his head. She learned quickly that if she gave him time, he would tell her when he was ready. Still, Haru did worry when these episodes came up. Whenever Legoshi was in major trouble he would unknowingly stonewall her. She attempted to keep the mood light as she continued with her morning routine.
Legoshi slowly followed, slouching more than usual. He did not look forward to his closing shift. The lack of sleep tended to make time drag. As Legoshi plopped on his recliner the spare room opened. Hanna had dark bags under her eyes, indicating her lack of sleep as well. Haru turned from the kitchen counter to see her emerge. "Man, did I miss something last night? You both look awful." Hanna politely smiled but continued to the cupboard to grab a large glass. "Just insomnia." Hanna yawned. She opened the fridge door to make a glass of tomato juice. "You guys not sleep well?" She asked, shooting glances at both Haru and Legoshi. She felt a knot in her throat seeing Legoshi's slouched position. "I'm fine, but this one over here acts like he didn't sleep a wink." Hanna nodded and placed the juice bottle back in the fridge. She gulped the glass in three swigs and placed the glass in the sink. Legoshi watched as Hanna licked the juice off her upper lip. He gripped the armrests, picturing Louis's blood once more. "Hey!" Haru yelled, snapping him out of his deranged fantasies. "Knock it off, we're still paying the furniture off!" Legoshi looked down at his hands. His claws had left noticeable rips causing the fluff to emerge. Legoshi panicked and quickly clasped his hands and pushed him down in his lap. His ears and tail stood at high alert. "Sorry!" He called.
Haru walked over to him with two glasses of steaming tea. She placed one cup on the chest and took the seat closest to him. "Are you sure you're okay?" She placed the back of her free hand on his forehead. "Are you getting sick?" Legoshi shook the hand of his head "I'm fine." He said, attempting to stay cool. "I, uh, I think I might text Gohin today… see what he's up to before my shift." Haru's ears twitched but she kept her composure. Whenever Legoshi sought out advice he would contact the psychotherapist. She had met him briefly at their reception, and Legoshi had told her how they met. She kept a confident face, not wanting to worry their houseguest. "Oh, okay. I hope you guys talk and catch up." She responded in code. Her dark eyes searched for answers, but took a sip of her tea and looked away when she realized she wouldn't get any.
Hanna joined Haru on the couch, unaware of the serious tone. "Are we still on for girl's night?" She asked cheerfully. Haru smiled in her direction and nodded. "I sure hope so!" She responded, attempting to sound excited. Legoshi cocked a brow. "Girl's Night?' He asked the rabbit. Haru glanced back at her husband. "Yeah, I thought I told you Thursday?" Haru asked back. Legoshi sat still, his memory failing him. "Since you don't want to take me out anymore," She commented sarcastically. "I figured I'd take Hanna out. Juno invited us to karaoke." Legoshi slowly nodded. Although he was dealing with his own inner issues he was happy Haru would be safe out for the night in town with two carnivores. Legoshi attempted a groggy grin. "Well stay safe and have fun. Tell Juno I said 'hi'."
Legoshi tuned out the conversation and pulled out his phone. He found the text thread that Gohin and he last shared. Legoshi frantically typed the message with his large thumbs.
Are you busy today?
Legoshi struggled with texts, not knowing proper greetings or formalities. He would rather cut straight to the chase. He appreciated Gohin for feeling the same way. Not a moment passed when his phone buzzed with a notification.
No. Come and see me.
Legoshi's tail gently swayed. Legoshi only reached out when it was important. He was glad Gohin knew him so well.
Legoshi walked the familiar hallway to Gohin's apartment. Although the black market ceased to exist, Gohin continued to live in the same rundown building. Legoshi knocked twice on the door, his heart fluttering in anticipation. The scarred panda swung the door open with a smile plastered over his face. "Legoshi!" he called, going in for a firm handshake. The wolf accepted the gesture but still politely bowed. He owed everything in his life to the doctor and his unusual practice.
Gohin let him in and they both made their way to the floor sitting across from each other at the table. "You know, I was surprised you contacted me." Gohin patted Legoshi on the back. "How'd you know I had nothing to do today?" he jokingly asked. Legoshi looked at his lap. "I… uh… didn't?" he answered honestly, not knowing how to correctly respond in this state of mind. Gohin chuckled. "Yep, same old as ever. How can I help my star pupil today, son?" Legoshi meekly nodded and clasped his hands in his lap. His ears drooped, causing the large canine to look small and harmless, like a mere pup. Gohin patiently waited till Legoshi found his words. "I believe I may crack under the pressure." The wolf slowly started. "Last night, the hunger… got to me." Gohin's ears perked up. "What do you mean?" Gohin asked in a serious tone, fearing the worst for the small rabbit girl. Legoshi sighed and looked up at Gohin's grief-stricken face. "We have a new roommate, a carnivore. I don't know her ailment, but she's prescribed bug broth. And, well, the smell…" He trailed off. Gohin offered a sincere nod. "Okay." He said, placing a firm hand back on Legoshi's shoulder. "Let's get to work."
A/N: Happy to finally get this longer chapter out! Remember to fav, alert, and leave a review!
