His flights had been long, but it didn't matter. He'd been traveling over a day, but it didn't matter. The trip so far had been a complete "rock bottom" for him as he'd spent the last 26 plus hours trying to get to France and only had his thoughts to keep him company. Well, lousy company they were because he had been re-living all of the things he should have but didn't do for Lisa over the years. Hindsight-he really couldn't believe he'd taken her for granted so much. Unfortunately, he'd realized just how terribly he'd treated Lisa, pushing her away, not putting her first, and hurting her deeply-just to start. Now that he'd met up with the driver Ben had secured for him at the airport, Jack sunk into the back seat of the sedan and leaned his head back. He let out a long sigh and willed himself to stay awake. No telling where this driver had to take him to get to Lisa, but he knew the drive would be long. He was finally here, well, in France at least. He still had a three-hour drive or so from what Ben had told him. Jack had landed in Marseille after a very long journey that had started over a day ago in Calgary. Now, with the time change and all, it was already late afternoon in France, morning back home.

He'd checked in with Beth and Ben at every stop, the one time he was grateful for two connections on such a long journey. Jack was not going to mess up the communication tree anymore not with Lisa's health so fragile. He had to get to her now that he'd been kicked into gear and just realized what was at stake. How stupid he'd even been to suggest not coming-of course he should come. This was the person who meant the most to him, a lousy job he'd done of showing it. All of the complaints about travel he'd laid on Lisa in the past-none of it mattered now. He would travel the world for her, was traveling the world to get to her because he could not live without her. He was certain of that now with all this time on his hands to really have things put into perspective. It was one thing when he felt like he was letting go for Lisa, giving her a chance at a better future, but all of this time to think, Jack realized that neither one wanted that, a future without the other. They just wanted each other, and sadly, it had taken this wake up call for him to get it. He was miserable, and she was too, according to Beth, but the reality of possibly losing her, that had blind sighted Jack. She wasn't supposed to go first; he was. He had a better idea of the agony she'd gone through to get home to him after his heart attack. The difference then, she knew he would live by the time they'd contacted her, even just a couple hours after the heart attack. They knew Jack would make it, recover, but right now, well, Jack couldn't even bring himself to think about a future where Lisa wasn't-

Jack turned his mind back to his travel. At least his bag had made it. Even with all the connections, his flights had been smooth. Ben had apologized about the flights-with the very last minute booking, simple, more direct flights weren't available, and because of that, the travel time had over doubled. He'd had to fly first from Calgary to Dallas, Texas yesterday morning, a 6AM flight out of Calgary, not that it mattered. He hadn't slept a wink, not with this worry about Lisa. Gosh, he loved her and wanted to kick himself for doing anything and everything to NOT show her that. He'd really messed up and not just this time, but every single time over the last six years. Why she was still with him, he had no idea. Actually, he did. She loved him with her whole heart, something he'd realized that he loved her that much too, and when you tried to forget about someone you love that much, it never worked.

In Dallas, he'd called Beth, and there had been no change, which was good and bad. From what Beth had said, the doctors wanted Lisa's swelling to decrease so they could bring her out of the coma they'd put her in. With any brain injury, though, there was no timetable, and as hard as that was to hear, Lisa needed time to heal, and no one knew what kind of time that would take. Jack's Dallas layover was long, giving him time to make those calls as well as get something to eat. Knowing that he would be both physically and mentally exhausted, he found a place to sit down for a solid breakfast and did feel much better after eating. With that on his stomach, he hoped he might sleep some on the next flight—a flight from Dallas to London. There were only a couple of travel options for him, and when Ben had asked his preference, Jack had jumped on the English-speaking connections.

"Jack, travel time is about the same, a difference of 45 minutes on the overall trip so do you want Calgary to Dallas to London to Marseille or Calgary to Amsterdam to Frankfurt to Marseille?"

"If we are talking about the same travel time, just keep me where I can understand the language. Amsterdam-I don't know a word of Dutch, and Frankfurt?" Jack made a face. "I don't know any German either, no interest in going there. I'm fine with going through the United States and England-thank goodness for English."

And so he had, even with all of the immigration lines, he'd made it, shuffling through one place to another. Dallas had been fine, cowboy country, and he'd enjoyed the vast flat farmland from the plane window. London was its own mess, and he'd even had trouble understanding the immigration officer with their thick English accent. He'd muddled through the lines and finally found himself in the Heathrow airport with a six hour layover. He'd only slept about an hour on the plane and felt that exhaustion hitting him hard now. He'd eaten okay but again decided to get something to eat. It was very late in London now, a time really when everyone was off to bed, but thankfully, with an international airport of its caliber, he found food available and got a local standard meal of fish and chips. That hit the spot, and after getting a cup of coffee to keep himself awake overnight here, he'd settled in by his gate. He'd nodded off at some point with the gate agent waking him up with her shrill voice as people started to board. No, he didn't enjoy this type of travel, but all he wanted to do right now was to get to Lisa.

Now, finally in the car and on the way, Jack was definitely feeling the exhaustion from his travels. He wasn't hungry but knew that he would need to get something to eat eventually. It was closing in on another day, but he wanted to see Lisa first. Thankfully, his driver, Pierre, had a bottle of water for him, but Pierre didn't speak much English, and Jack's grasp of French was 'merci' so it was a quiet ride so far. With the slight rocking of the car as it moved on and toward the mountains in the distance, Jack closed his eyes, not at all having to will himself to sleep anymore.

"Monsieur," Jack heard, and he jolted awake, briefly having to think about where he was. The car was stopped, and Jack glanced out the window, wondering if they were there. They weren't. It looked like some sort of stop for fuel, a rest area of sorts. Jack knew that word-Sir, but he didn't know much more. Jack sat forward, wondering what the two of them could figure out with their language barrier. "Les toilettes?" Jack paused and frowned, looking outside to where the driver was pointing. "Ahh, um washroom?"

Jack nodded, "Merci, oui." Okay, maybe they could muddle through this. He was being told this was a stop to freshen up, and as he stepped out of the car and groaned, he realized that he did need to freshen up. He still had that bottle of water, but he was now thirsty and would maybe open that up when they started on the road again. "Umm, arrive?" Jack looked hopefully at the driver, hoping that asking him when they might arrive would be somewhat easy to translate.

"Deux heures," the driver smiled, a young man, and Jack shook his head, not sure. He thought about it in his head. One would think for living in a country where French and English are both used languages, he would be better with French, but he avoided most anything related to Quebec. He could count to 10 in French, remembering back to preschool shows the girls watched on television. He thought about it-two.

"Two hours," Jack nodded, with a tight smile. "Merci." He stepped away to use the washroom and freshen up before finishing the last two hours of his trip. While they were stopped here, he would call Beth at least because the mountains in front of him told him that he more than likely would lose signal soon.

The got back on the road. No change with Lisa, but Jack had at least spoken to Beth. He told her he'd be there in two hours, just about at dinner time here, but he didn't care anything about that. He only wanted to sit with Lisa. Beth had told him that she would get him all situated, but that now with his arrival, she really had to get back home. It wasn't that she didn't care because she did, but she had her own small business. No work, no income, and unlike Lisa, Beth had not been good with her money. She'd been divorced now three times and lived life for herself. It was fine; she'd done her part. It was time for Jack to step up and step in. After all, Lisa was his life. He realized that now, not that she hadn't been, but he'd taken that for granted and tried to release her from some life with him. Realizing that he would do anything for her now and take care of her no matter what, well, he definitely owed her an explanation and apology for all of his bad behavior because when you love someone, you do anything for them, even if it means taking care of them for the rest of your life. He had no problem doing that if she could just pull through this, and in that same manner, he was wrong to have decided that she should not have that same choice with him. Instead, he'd made the choice for her and pushed her away, confusing her because he'd not even discussed it with her. BIG MISTAKE. He saw that now and hated how hurt she must have felt. He was terrified of not getting to tell her how much he loved her or how wrong he was. She had to pull through this. She had to.

"L'hopital?"

Jack frowned, not sure of what was being asked from his driver.

"No francais," he said, shaking his head.

"Umm, I believe hospital?" the driver said it now in a slow manner with a thick accent. He was pointing to the GPS on his phone, and Jack finally got it.

"Hospital, oui," he nodded with a frown. He looked at the arrival time, noting they were almost here. It was rural, mountainous, and it made him shudder to think that somewhere near here, Lisa and Dan had gone off a cliff in Dan's ridiculous sports car. Beth had told him she had pictures of the accident, and while he would look at them, Jack really wasn't sure he wanted to see the photos. With as bad as Lisa was, Jack knew the photos would paint a very grim picture.

"Arriver," the driver said to Jack, and Jack looked out the window. He didn't need to translate that-they had arrived. Lisa was here, halfway around the world from him in this small hospital. Beth had said they had a good staff who could care for Lisa's needs, and that had been good to hear, but Jack had to wonder if she really was getting the best care she could. It was small; the town was very small, a mountain town, and he just said a quiet prayer that his lovely Lisa would come through this and could come home, home to Alberta.

"Merci," Jack told the driver who handed him his suitcase. He'd started to pack in the old leather one he'd taken with him to Arizona, but Tim had told him that he needed something with wheels-Tim, the guy who traveled maybe less than Jack had argued with him about a suitcase.

"Come on, Jack! That suitcase is older than I am, isn't it?"

Jack shrugged, "I bought this before I left home the first time on the rodeo circuit. What's wrong with it? It still works?"

"You have a strap around it to keep it closed because the clasp there is broken," Tim gestured. "How in the world do you travel like this? Wait, what am I saying? You don't. You actually took this to France last time? No, you need a modern, rolling bag, if nothing else, it frees up you carrying a bag. You just pull one. Do you have anything like that here?"

Jack frowned as he considered what Tim was saying, not wanting to admit Tim was right. It had been annoying to carry his old bag, a bag he loved, but yes, it was falling apart. It was fine to take to the fishing cabin or even over to Lisa's has he had in the past, but for a long, international trip, where he had no idea how long he would be gone and thus, needed to pack quite a bit, Tim was right. Jack sighed and nodded, gesturing to one of the closets in his room.

Grumbling, he gestured, "Lisa's got a bag in there, one of those rolling suitcases. It's still there, something that with all of our mess, she didn't grab after our last big blowup."

Tim's eyes widened, "Lisa has a bag here that size? How did I not see it when I was staying here?"

Jack glared at Tim, not wanting to discuss Tim using his room, "I don't know, Tim. It's my room, and she has a few things hanging up in that closet. I just hadn't been here-"

"Right," Tim smirked. "You two broke up because you were stupid. She left, you went to Arizona, and now we're here. Well, good thing her things are still there because I expect you are going to fix all of this."

"I'm going to fix it," Jack said with a single nod. "I am not going to keep messing it up."

"That's the first good thing I've heard from you, Jack. She's good for you, and somehow, you're good for her, I mean, when you aren't just letting her walk out of your life or rather, throwing her out of your life. You didn't travel at all for Lyndy, not one of her shows, and I'm no idiot-you've already traveled more for Lisa, which isn't saying much. So, let's get that bag and get you packed."

Jack nodded, went to the closet, and when he opened it, something he hadn't done since he'd been back, he stood there and sighed, dropping his head. The closet even smelled like Lisa's perfume. She had a few things hanging there, a couple of her favorite cardigans she would put on with a chill in the air, a coat she wore when they went on trail rides, her rubber boots for working outside with him, and a pair of riding boots, just to name a few things. He rolled out the suitcase she had left there, one that he knew still had things packed. It was her bag from her last trip home, the trip when Jack had his heart attack, and she'd barely left his side at the house, at least until he'd told her to go, to leave him. Jack put it on the bed, gingerly, as if anything else would disturb the contents. He opened it and found Lisa's well-packed bag there, only about halfway packed, but she had a few things still in it. He just nodded, staring at it.

"You know, Jack, you should take some of that to her, I mean, at the hospital. It's not close to where she lives, and she'll eventually need some things. Looks like her toiletries-"

Jack nodded, "Yeah, she brought some with her but had things here," he paused and pursed his lips.

"I know you two didn't like people commenting on your relationship, but man, Jack, she was here more than I even realized, plenty of her things here."

Jack nodded again, "We tried to be discreet all the time, but yes, I really was stupid to think I could just close the door on our life together."

"You were," Tim gave him a look and pointed to Lisa's beautiful navy blue bag. "Now, there's plenty of room in that thing for all of your ratty old clothes, so let's get you packed, the both of you," he said with a nod of his head. "I'm sure that when Lisa wakes up, she'll appreciate some of her own things."

"Thanks, Tim," Jack sighed, just shaking his head as he looked at her things there. "I can't even believe any of this."

So now, here with his rolling bag in hand, or Lisa's, or whatever-maybe he'd now claimed it as his own since she had others just like it. Did she have a matching set of this? Maybe she did, so maybe he would just keep using this bag, Jack fumbled for his wallet, wanting to give the driver a tip. Did they tip here? He had no idea, but as he did, the driver started to wave his hand.

"Non, non, ahh, all paid-extra too."

Jack glanced at him, and the driver was nodding. He appreciated the honesty of the driver even when Jack knew he wasn't thinking clearly. Maybe it was the driver realizing that this stop was at a hospital, not some fancy beachfront resort for an amazing vacation. Jack gave him a nod.

"Merci."

The driver nodded, and with that, the two went their separate ways. Jack stepped into the hospital, looking around. Beth had said she'd meet him downstairs, so he stepped over to a row of chairs along the wall. He was glad she was meeting him. He wasn't sure he could muddle through the reception desk to find out about Lisa.

Once he sat down, Jack shifted, realizing these chairs were hardly comfortable. He kept an eye out for Beth, and thankfully, he didn't have to wait long. He spotted her scurrying across the lobby toward him, and he stood as he gave her a small wave.

"Jack," she said with a sad smile as she approached him.

"Hi, Beth, long time," he told her, having met Beth a couple of times. She had come out to watch one of Ben's big competitions, and Jack had first met her then. Of course, he and Lisa had been out a handful of times at that point, but he'd seen her a couple of years later when she'd come to some flower show all the way in Calgary, some sort of competition, and he and Lisa had met her for dinner. Even that had been at least a couple of years ago, and as he stepped to her to embrace her, he noted that she and Lisa barely looked related. Beth had dark hair, was nine years older, and she'd really aged, not that it mattered. Lisa was now 49, and Beth was 58, but she looked even older than that, her once black hair was now all gray. Lisa had told Jack she'd dye her hair until she died, not at all wanting gray hair. That had come with an eyebrow raise from Jack, and she'd swatted at him, telling him that gray hair on men looked handsome and rugged, just what she liked, but that on women, it wasn't a good look. Greeting Beth now, Jack could see Lisa's point and agreed with her.

"Good to see a familiar face," Beth sighed as she stepped back from their hug.

"I can't apologize enough for not getting here sooner. I'm sorry about the phone mess ups-"

She nodded, "I know. Water under the bridge. The point is you are here, and I hope that means that whatever mess you were in, pushing Lisa away, that's over?"

I'm not leaving her side," he stated firmly, "not until the day I die, which will be before her because I'm the older one, and she's going to pull through this mess."

Beth took a long, deep breath. She looked really tired, not that she should look any other way. Jack wasn't coming into this well rested either, but it didn't matter. Beth gestured.

"I'll take you up to her room. She's in the intensive care unit, and most of the nurses and doctors don't speak much English. A couple of the younger nurses speak some, but it's been really hard with the medical terminology." Jack walked alongside her, pulling his bag, as she caught him up. "I've been using a translator app on my phone. Do you have an iPhone?"

Jack frowned and shook his head, "No, just my flip phone. Lisa's got-"

"They have some of her things from the crash, but I haven't seen her phone. It might have been lost. I have her wallet, passport, and bag. I guess they'd stayed overnight somewhere and were headed back home, which is why she had her passport out with her and not back at the house. My guess," she looked up at him, with all the differences she and Lisa had, the women were the same height, "she had her phone in her hand when the crash happened or at least there in her lap, and it's gone. So, without that and no help from your phone, it's going to be tricky."

"Okay," he said with a single nod. "Her swelling is still too much to take her out of that coma, but the nurse said they think she can hear you, so talk to her."

He nodded, "I have plenty to say, won't be a problem."

Beth rattled off more information as they walked the maze of hallways, Jack noting signs on the wall pointing to the l'unité f de soins intensifs, and with the similar spelling, Jack knew that had to be the intensive care unit. At least if he got turned around in this place, he would be able to get back to the right spot.

"La famille de Lisa Stillman," Beth said into the intercom, the intensive care unit behind a secure area. She looked to Jack again and waved at the intercom, "You need to say that anytime you need inside. The family of Lisa Stillman, but know the French way to say it. Jack nodded.

"Okay, I'm going to write some of this down because it's a lot, especially with the language barrier." He unzipped the front pocket of his satchel bag that he'd used for his carry on and pulled out a small notebook, writing it down as best as he could with the spellings in a different language.

"Now, prepare yourself," Beth gripped his hand. They had stopped outside one of the doors, the door closest to the nurse station. She gave a small smile and wave over to the desk where two nurses were working and had looked over to them and then looked back at Jack. "She looks really bad, Jack, almost unrecognizable. Just remember, they are doing everything to stabilize her."

He took a deep breath and nodded, his hand gripping the handle of his suitcase. Beth slid open the sliding glass door, and the two stepped inside. Jack was instantly greeted with a lot of machines beeping and making noises, apparently normal noises for the room. He put his luggage there in the corner by the door and turned around, a step behind Beth and stepped up to take a look at Lisa. What he saw brought him to tears.

"Oh gosh," he said, his voice shaking as he looked at her. "I can recognize her."

"I know," Beth reached over and put her hand on his, which his was now gripping the bedrail. Her face is swollen and bruised from everything-"

"Even her hair," he said, now choked up, shaking his head. "I'm still not used to the brown-"

"So, you've seen the brown hair?"

He nodded, putting his hand to his mouth in shock, "Umm, yeah, she came home like that in January. She'd tried out a few colors, a reddish color a couple years ago that was okay, but I didn't mind this either. I still love her blonde-"

Beth nodded with a small frown, "I'd give anything to see her open her eyes, but they do have her in that induced coma. Ahh, she's got that arm splinted from surgery," she pointed to her broken arm. "They aren't sure if they will need to do further surgery on the arm. I don't know if it was set as they wanted-the language barrier was tough to understand. Surgery for the broken pelvis, and the doctor put screws in. 8-12 weeks on that, but from what I understood, it was not as bad as it could have been, the pelvis I mean."

"Okay," Jack said, his voice jagged as he studied Lisa. He took Lisa's hand, cool to the touch, but it felt so normal to take her hand in his. Her hand just fit perfectly in his, but it felt so lifeless right now, not warm like Lisa's hand always felt in his. Jack let out a long breath as he continued to hold her hand. He could sit here and hold her hand-her left hand with the other in the splint contraption."

"Talk to her," Beth encouraged with a nudge of her shoulder on his arm. "Let me go get us something to eat while you sit and let her know you are here. We can eat up here, I mean," she hooked her hand, "there's a small table area outside her room in a break room type where they let families eat. I've tried not to eat in here. I don't want to get in trouble, but coffee or drinks are fine. I'll get some food for us, you and I can catch up on things here, and then, I need to start that long trek back to Canada. I'm sorry I can't stay."

"I understand, and I'm here. I've got this. I'm not leaving her side, promise. I've taken her for granted for too long, have pushed her away, and quite frankly, I've been horrible. I hope she'll forgive me."

Beth patted his arm and gave a slight roll of her eyes, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, sister confidence and all, but the last time I spoke to her, maybe a week ago, through all of her crying, she said she just wanted you back in her life, that she missed you so much, and that she'd never get over loving you, so I think it's safe to say she'll accept your apologies, all of them, but you'd better grovel because she deserves someone who adores her. I think you can, but you'd better figure it out."

"I promise," he said, squeezing Beth's shoulder. "I've really messed up, but she's my world."

She gave him a sad smile and nodded, "That's what I needed to hear before I left her in your care. I'll be back with food. Looks like you could use a decent meal and some rest."

Jack waved his hand, "Don' t care about resting, just about sitting here with Lisa. I'm not going to leave her alone."

"You'll wear yourself out if you don't give yourself breaks. Believe me. This is a marathon, Jack. She's going to be here for some time, and even then, if she's," Beth paused and tried to find the right word, "not had any damage to her brain from all of this, it's still going to be a long recovery with her injuries."

"I know, and I'll be here every step."

"Okay, then," she said with a soft smile. "I'll get something for us to eat. I've figured out this place after the last week of being here."

Beth stepped out and quietly shut the sliding glass door. Jack looked back down at Lisa. She looked so broken, so almost lifeless. Her face was a bruised mess, and she had cuts on her forehead and even her arm his was still holding. Jack looked around for a chair, spotted one on the other side of the bed, and he only let go of her hand to move the chair. Once he was seated, he took her hand in his again.

"Lise, it's me, Jack. Beth and Ben have been trying to get ahold of me since your accident, but I'm here now. I'm not leaving your side. I love you so much, and I've really made a mess of things. Oh, my beautiful, Lisa, I'm so sorry about so much. I don't even know where to start." At that, he paused and felt the lump form in his throat. Jack put both hands on her one and dropped his head, his emotions all hitting him here and now, and Jack broke down there, crying with only the hum of the machines in the background drowning out his sobs.