Twenty-Eight Minutes in Hell
Halloween was something Jet had an interesting relationship with.
This year was somewhat of an odd one, even by his standards, as it would be the first year when they actually had some kind of celebrations over the holiday – the previous year had been a little bit more reserved, as they tried to come to accept that they were now trapped in another world – and he'd initially thought that he would be dragged off to a party of some kind, dressed up as who only knew what…
This had almost instantly been proven wrong, as Eydis had essentially shrugged off the idea of going to a party, and suggested they sit in and watch Halloween TV, and much to his surprise, Alice and Eugeo had almost immediately jumped at the chance to have an excuse not to dress up…
He supposed that the whole fiasco with Liz's calendar had had a lasting effect on them – it certainly had on him!
Which was why he was sat on the floor, with Eydis sat next to him with a pillow rested on his lap, whilst Alice and Eugeo had taken over the sofa.
"So, the premise is this old guy finds a diary in a churchyard and he's trying to return it to its owner. Or at least, that's what it says here." Eydis explained, poking a magazine in his face – one that read Radio Times on the cover – before huddling up to his arm.
"Thrilling." Alice said sarcastically, lounging against Eugeo on the sofa. "Wake me up when something interesting happens… like him discovering a locked door." She said with a tone of condescension usually reserved for the former Captain Flashheart.
"Will do!" Eydis told her cheerfully, either ignoring Alice's sarcasm or being oblivious to that.
"This… really isn't that interesting, I've got to agree with Alice." Eugeo admitted, and he couldn't help but agree. It was hard to be engrossed when only one person was there, and it felt like he was watching his nan going around the kitchen on a slow Tuesday morning…
"Maybe it starts slow?" Eydis shrugged, as even her attention started to wane too…
As was his – there was only so much of watching an old man completely fail to understand how a landline worked that he could take before- "Wait, what was that?" He asked, spotting a figure randomly appear and disappear within a single frame.
Eydis simply shrugged but kept her attention on the screen.
"Perhaps it was an artefact. Much like this program, in fact." Alice grumbled from the sofa behind him.
"No, it was definitely a figure, but-" He told her before a short pop, when the audio cut out. "What the… is the TV knackered?"
"It was fine earlier?" Eugeo told him whilst he got up to see what was wrong with the TV. All it took was a brief tap on the side of the TV screen, and the percussive maintenance had evidently worked as the sound came back on.
"Weird." Eydis summarised all of their thoughts, before the TV crackled again.
"You've got to be-" Before he could finish his sentence, the screen faded to black, and a different voice rung through the room… that of a continuity announcer.
"We apologise for the problems we're experiencing in tonight's live showing of the The Number Nine Show, we're just working on fixing the problems and we'll get back to the show as soon as we can." The announcer told them, a tone of mild annoyance as she spoke.
"Well, at least we know the TV's fine!" Eydis laughed awkwardly. "It's a bummer that the show's broken though, I was looking forward to scaring Alice!"
"Was that what all of this was for?!" Alice almost leaped off the sofa in annoyance, and made her way over to Eydis...
Whilst Alice attempted to throttle Eydis behind him, he noticed small mumblings now coming from the TV screen – faint as they were, he could just about make them out over the soft jazz music used in the background. They were muttering something; "at least you tried" it sounded like?
"Hello? Is someone there?" The announcer asked, before a burst of static and the first moments of a scream, almost immediately cut off as if the line had gone…
"Well, this suddenly became more interesting…" Alice admitted, a curious mix of anxiety, terror and excitement on her face at the bizarre goings on.
"I think I speak for all of us when I say… what just happened?" Eugeo asked, both confused and a little concerned. "Is… is she okay?"
"What, Alice?" Eydis asked, ignoring the glare of anger from her best friend. "Nope, but I don't think she's ever been okay, so… eh. Oh, you mean the announcer! Nope, she's dead."
"Eydis!"
"What, it's a horror show! Of course she's dead, Ali…" Eydis explained. "For now, anyway."
"So… all of this is the show?" Eugeo asked, trying to wrap his head around the mild mindfuck that they were all now subject to… "Because the TV's glitching again."
He wasn't kidding either – the screen looked as if Alice had belted it with a shoe whilst they weren't looking! The music, once a soft jazz, had become horribly distorted with each note inducing a sense of unease and anxiety in the room, whilst the mumbling became more pronounced…
"At least you tried."… "At least you tried"… "At least you tried… Alice."
Now that wasn't the show, he was absolutely certain!
Before Alice had a full-on panic attack though, the screen faded back to black again and then cut to what looked to be CCTV footage…
Of their room.
"Oo-okay, that's new…" He gulped, reminding himself that it couldn't be their room – there was no CCTV in their rooms for starters... "It's on a time delay, so…"
"Yes, that may be true… but why are there five of us on the screen?" Alice asked nervously.
He swallowed back a scream that was building in his throat and counted the figures himself – himself, Eydis, Alice, Eugeo and… Koharu.
What the actual fuck was going on here?!
"That cannot possibly be her… can it?" Alice asked and he didn't need to be particularly near to her to notice just how terrified she was to see her deceased friend now on the small screen…
He didn't need to; because he knew how terrified he was. "Okay Michael, calm down. There's a rational explanation for all of this."
"I would love to hear it then." Alice told him bluntly.
"I said there was one, not that I know it!"
Almost as suddenly as it had started, the show cut back into what was clearly a rehearsal tape, the actors playing their roles just as they had earlier, though the plot appeared to have moved forward since – the vicar having been murdered, whilst an old woman had randomly appeared out of nowhere…
Despite this, everyone was still on edge slightly after the bizarre interruptions, some more than others. Eydis was smiling and laughing, whilst Alice was about one jump scare away from jumping out of the window, screaming that Koharu was now haunting her…
Eugeo seemed a little less tense, but still far more on edge than he had been before, and he was wondering whether Alice kept any particularly strong booze in her cupboards. "Ahh, so this is where it was going – the vicar was a lying bastard, murdered the diary's owner, and now he got murdered and-huh?" Eydis explained before she spotted something in the corner of her eye.
"Oh what now?" Alice asked, a pillow muffling her voice as she hid her face behind it. In any other situation, he would've found the sight amusing, but given the current circumstances… it wasn't quite as funny.
"It's that figure again!" Eydis told them and they took a glance at the screen. No figures that weren't meant to be there, not that he noticed…
"Sorry Ey, can't see anything." He told her, Eydis' face offering a look of mild betrayal before the screen glitched out again, cutting to the test card with a young girl playing noughts and crosses with a toy clown.
He had a love hate relationship with test cards – especially those used by the BBC back home. They seemed to love him, and he hated them. Too many toy clowns for his liking… ergo, one.
"Oh not again!" Eugeo sighed in frustration. "It's back to the CCTV footage again…"
"No ghosts this time though." Eydis sighed in relief, before realising something else was up. "Except… where's Ali?"
"Oh great, now I am dead too…" Surprisingly, Alice took the news that she was in fact, a ghost, better than he would've expected, he had to admit. "And before you pipe up, Eydis, you are paler than I am!"
"I wasn't going to… this is… umm…" Eydis stammered, now quite clearly shaken as she refused to let go of her comfort pillow – also known as his arm – and he pulled her into a hug as if to protect her from whatever the hell was going on.
Not that it would've worked, mind you, but it certainly felt more comforting anyway. Whatever this was though, it would be an absolute miracle if the four of them made it through the 28-minute run time of the show without some serious trust issues regarding test cards, CCTV and the paranormal!
As was now the norm, the CCTV swapped feed again – this time cutting back to the studio, where the actors were discussing the technical issues, whilst the older lady playing… well, the old lady, stared off into the distance, commenting about how they had disrupted things they had no business in interfering with… spirits.
And she didn't mean the type that got you drunk quickly.
"Is it over?" Eugeo asked, wondering if he could retrieve Alice from behind the sofa yet. He took a quick glance at his watch, and he got his answer from that. The show had started at 22:00, and it was currently 22:17… so they still had around eleven minutes of program left, before the credits and the bumpers into the news at 10:30pm.
"Nope." He told them, as the feed now swapped back into a game show. A particularly uninspired game show, one of the type that you would likely find in syndication at 3pm on a weekday when most people watching the channel were those who worked shifts and pensioners, and even the host seemed to be aware of the quality – or lack thereof – of the show he was hosting…
"Welcome to Who's Your Father-" A title all of them found utterly banal and mildly insane in the worst possible way "- where we'll be giving our teams of fathers a chance to win a big money prize! Well, it's the OBC, so if the set doesn't fall down, we'll be happy."
Regardless of the dullness of the program, only broken by the presenter poking fun at his own show and the stereotypes as it went on, it was a welcome break from the mild terror they were all experiencing.
"Well, I'm no longer scared… just really bored." Eydis sighed. "Is it just me or does that girl look a bit off?"
"She has not expired if that is what you mean, Eydis." Alice stated, now recovering from everything.
"No, I mean… look at her, doesn't she look kind of, I dunno, stressed? More than everyone else, anyway." Eydis told them, and he took a closer look. She was right, the girl was acting more skittish, and seemed to be staring around the studio a lot, as if staring into each contestant's mind…
"And at the end of that round, the Joneses are on the lowest score, with two of their three players frozen. So, Katy, you have a chance to either steal someone else's father for your team, or you can say goodbye to yours, which will it be?"
"This is somehow more boring than the murder non-mystery." Alice stated confidently.
"Yeah, but something doesn't add up. This is the replacement show, right? Why air a dull gameshow at 10pm, even amongst all of this?"
"The TV scheduling gods are very boring themselves?" Eugeo asked as they only partly watched the screen again, and even then only for any odd interruptions.
"Well then, we shall see off your father at the end of that round, so we're sorry to lose you, Steve, but… BANG." Something rung out as the man, Steve, he assumed, slumped over his desk… now minus his entire head.
"Holy shit!" Gasped both himself and Eydis, shocked by the man now slumped over the desk.
"Did they just kill a man live on air?!" Alice asked, aghast.
"Never mind kill him, I think he just exploded live on air!" Jet retorted, before realising it wasn't part of the game show either, as everyone on screen hurried around in panic.
"It's her!" Eugeo shouted, getting their attention as they got a better view of the mystery skittish girl…
"Koharu?!"
"We're being haunted by a vengeful spirit of our deceased friend through a TV broadcast of dubious quality, and a rather dull gameshow." He said out loud, before realising how utterly insane that sounded. "And that may be the first time that set of words has ever been said in that order."
"I think we need to take a few moments to breathe… and then, we should take the most sensible course of action."
"What's that?"
"Leave for the bar and go and get the strongest drink possible." Alice explained, before she disappeared a moment later…
"Oh my god, Ali just-"
"I'm outside, Eydis."
"Oh." Eydis burst out laughing in relief. "Can you imagine if she'd actually… wait, where's Eugeo?"
"Also outside."
"Go and get a drink, I'll just turn the TV off." He told her, before he turned around to look for the off button on the TV. Without much of a search, he pressed it and looked around the room in case someone had mounted a giant fuck off cannon to shoot him with, or whatever else this stupid show might have manifested… nothing that he could see, just himself, the furniture… and the ghost of Koharu.
"Eydis?" He shouted to his girlfriend outside.
"Yeah?" She shouted back.
"Make mine a double absinthe please!" He shouted, before turning on his heels and sprinting out of the room at a pace that more closely resembled a scolded rat than a human being…
/-/
The next morning was an unusually sombre one, Kureha thought to herself.
Despite the celebrations last night – and wondering how Itsuki had woken up with a traffic cone on his head – the mood around Jet, Alice, Eugeo and Eydis was odd. It felt like they had seen a ghost, the group being absolutely silent and tight lipped on what they had saw.
Whatever it was, both Jet and Alice seemed the most shaken up by it, and eventually, they had explained what had gone on last night…
"Oh, that show?" Zeliska thought aloud. "Yeah, it's a basic trick of the programming in this game. It shows a slightly tailored version of everything to you."
Alice seemed somewhat reassured by that, even laughing quietly to herself. "It is good to know I am not going insane then…"
Jet went to carry on, but clearly thought better of it. "Yeah, but… nah, ignore me."
"What is it?"
"I saw Koharu in our room. Like, actually saw her, not through the TV…"
Zeliska paused, concern apparent on her face. "Yes, that one is a little harder to explain… you may want to call someone about that, really…"
Itsuki added his ten cents… "An exorcist, perhaps?" …Before getting elbowed in the chest by Zeliska.
"Ghosts aren't real, I'm telling you that much." Zeliska explained, trying to be the voice of reason. Kureha wasn't so sure, and wondered if that would mean that Sierra was haunting them too… because if he was, she was never using the changing rooms again!
She'd known him too well to know that wasn't where he'd be haunting!
"I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation for all of this…" She did her best to calm them down.
"And the paranormal isn't a perfectly rational explanation?" Itsuki asked. "Because plenty of people believe in it… so what is to say our fearless leader didn't, in fact, see an apparition last night?"
"Since when did you become the open minded one?!" Itsuki merely smirked at the comment.
"Oh, I am open minded… as long as it annoys someone." He shrugged with a gurning grin on his face.
"You smug little…"
"I believe we may be seeing another ghost later…" Alice sighed.
"Itsuki, how long do you want your eulogy to be?" Jet asked jokingly. "Short, like "he died as he lived, pissing Zeliska off", or a bit longer, like the rope she's going to hang you with?"
"Please refrain from killing each other whilst I am around… please do it in your own time." Fanatio told them as she walked past. "And ghosts are not real either." She added with a look of satisfaction on her face, as if she'd been listening to the conversation and just waiting for a chance to tell them that… until she looked back and went even more pale than usual... before sprinting away with a rather girly scream.
Whatever the answer to the paranormal was, Kureha wasn't certain they'd ever know the answer, and the look of frustration on their faces was evidence of that. She'd known Jet long enough to know that one of his biggest frustrations was struggling to find the answer to something, and that, when combined with a more rational view of the world, didn't match to well with the paranormal experience that he'd had…
Or that he had now gone white as a sheet again for some reason.
"If you could suggest the perfectly rational explanation for this, Zeliska, I would be open to hearing it…" Alice said with a tone of sarcasm hidden by absolute terror, and Kureha turned to look in the direction of…
Oh.
Oh.
"Nope, I've got nothing." Zeliska admitted, a genuine look of fear on her face for once.
Inside Kureha's mind, there was currently only a single thought racing through it…
AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Her inner monologue screamed.
"Perhaps that exorcist may now be a good option?" Itsuki commented, though even his eyes had gone wide in surprise and shock.
"Guys, can you not? I've got an almighty headache…" The ghost of Koharu told them, as if she knew about being knocked out by her own gunsight…
The screams coming from the cafeteria that morning was something that would not be forgotten at Canaveral any time soon…
{Author's Comments}
I should put a big sign here saying "this is not canon whatsoever" here, and-oh, hang on someone's... what are you doing with that crash axe? ACK!
{Koharu's Comments}
I'll be taking over for the author from now on in! He's currently a bit busy... (mumbles and grumbles coming from the background), but don't worry, he's fine!
Happy Halloween everyone!
