Naomi

Winter was hard, I wasn't sure we were gonna make it.

It snowed. I used to love when it snowed, hearing it crunch under our feet in the woods while it made everything else so much quieter. We'd throw snowballs at each other until our fingers were so cold we couldn't feel them any more. In the evenings, if Momma had passed out or Daryl's dad were at the bar, we'd wrap ourselves up in the same comforter and watch movies until we'd warmed up again. If our parents were around, we'd find somewhere to light a fire outside. Daryl would make fun of me for bringing a book, but he'd shut up and listen when I read to him, and complain if I stopped too early. Sometimes he'd fall asleep listening to me, and I'd fold down a corner of the page so I'd know where to pick up again next time.

Winters like that made me miss Georgia when Mia and I were in DC. It weren't the same in the city without the peace of the woods.

I looked around at the group; tired and miserable. Mia and Perla were wrapped in blankets by the fire. They had been making up some kind of elaborate secret handshake with each other, but they'd got bored of that now and were staring listlessly at the centre of the fire. Jack was asleep, his arm around Izzy, she was staring blankly up at the ceiling. Jose sat a little apart from everyone else, reading a book he'd read before.

I got to my feet, walked over to where Lucas and Dee were taking stock of our remaining firewood.

"Will you two come with me for a sec?" I asked quietly.

"What?" Dee looked up. There were bags under her eyes, and she was wearing two pairs of gloves. "Why?"

I glanced over at Mia and Perla. "Just come with me, will ya?" I whispered.

They looked at one another, tired and suspicious, but the mystery of it was enough for them to follow me out of the gym hall and into the corridor.

"Fucking freezing here," Dee complained, folding her arms across her chest.

"Yeah, sorry," I said, pushing open the door to the cafeteria. "I just..."

"You want to do ration inventory again?" Lucas asked. I could tell he was holding back a sigh. "Because I did it last week and-"

"No," I said. "I mean, not really. It's just... it's Mia's Birthday."

"What, today?" Dee asked. "What date is it?"

"I don't know," I admitted. We'd all stopped counting long ago. "But I reckon it's gotta be at least early December. Which means Mia's Birthday is now-ish. Now-enough."

"You want to do something for it?" Lucas asked, his eyes were a little brighter already, thawing out of the bad mood we'd all been in for weeks.

"Yeah."

"Like what?" Dee asked, but she'd dropped her confrontational attitude and now just seemed kinda excited.

"I know we need to be careful with the rations we've got," I said. "But I'm sure there's flour and some condensed milk in there. I also think I saw powdered eggs, so..."

"You wanna make a cake?" Dee said.

"Yeah," I said. "It probably won't be much good, but it might cheer everyone up a bit."

"I'm down for it," Dee said.

"Me too," said Lucas. "Although... I'm not much of a baker."

"Me neither," I said. "I tried to make a cake for my friend's birthday one year. Totally forgot the flour. So it was just this weird, eggy, sugary... thing."

"Oh God," Lucas looked horrified.

"I iced it and everything," I said, enjoying how much this was amusing them.

"You didn't give it to anyone, though?" he asked, holding back a laugh.

"Sure did. Candles and all."

"Oh, God."

"Still ate it," I said with a shrug, "didn't do us any harm."

I neglected to mention that I hadn't found a food Daryl wouldn't eat. He was the one who'd discovered that worms could be an effective snack to tide you over when our traps were empty.

"Naomi, don't take this the wrong way," Dee said. "But that sounds godawful, and you are not in charge of this cake."

"Harsh," Lucas chuckled.

"I'm sure we all want Mia to have a good Birthday," Dee said sternly. "Not get food poisoning."

"Alright," I laughed. "Point taken. Would you do the honours?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Dee said and pushed open the door to the old school kitchen. When we'd first moved in, we'd had to clear a few undead dinner ladies out of it, and been lucky to find a decent amount of canned or long-life food. I guess school meals weren't as fresh as they claimed to be.

"Okay," Lucas said in a very business-like tone. "Everything we have is catalogued and itemized. We need to mark off what we use."

He tapped a sheet of paper that he'd stuck to the door, an organized list of the food items we'd managed to find and how much we had left. Lucas and I shared the same love of organizational lists. Discovering the school's stationery cupboard had made both of us an extremely excitable nightmare for everyone else.I headed over to get the flour.

"Where do you think you're going?" Dee snapped. I paused in the middle of the kitchen and looked back at her.

"Just... getting some flour," I said. She frowned. "That alright?"

"Yes," she said. "Just don't do anything with it until I say so."

"Yes, ma'am," I gave her a little salute. She narrowed her eyes at me, but she looked less mad.

Under Dee's careful instruction, Lucas and I helped mix together flour, powdered eggs, condensed milk and cocoa powder. There was a moment of high-stress from Dee when she couldn't find any of the bicarbonate of soda that was on Lucas's inventory. They had a little spat about how accurate his system was, while I found it at the back of a cupboard they hadn't looked in.

"There we go," I said, handing it carefully over to Dee. "No need to worry."

"Told you we had some," Lucas sulked.

"Well, it wasn't where you said it would be," Dee muttered. He glared at her, and we poured the mixture into the only baking tin we could find. There was a small amount of gas still connected to the oven. We'd been using it sparingly and only on the coldest nights. Dee and Lucas still not really speaking to each other, we set about clearing up while the cake baked.

"Something smells nice," Izzy said from the doorway. She looked around at us kinda suspiciously. "What are you doing in here?"

"We're making a Birthday cake for Mia," Lucas said.

"Well, we're trying to," Dee added hastily. "It might not turn out great, we've had to use dried ingredients, which I've never done before, and I don't have a recipe to follow, so-"

"Smells great," Izzy said. I caught her eye, and we both did our best not to laugh. Dee was taking this incredibly seriously. She was so flustered and frazzled by the whole thing, desperate for it to be absolutely perfect. It was kinda cute.

"I wonder if we could find any games around here," Lucas said. "School's got to have something for rainy days, right?"

"Maybe," Izzy nodded. She looked thoughtful. "There's an art classroom somewhere. I think I saw some paints. I could make a Birthday banner... if you like?"

"Really?" I said. "That would be great."

"I'll get Jack to help," she said, with a bright smile.

"Mia's going to notice we're all disappearing," Dee said. Then, she glanced at me. "I mean... if you were planning on this being a surprise."

I hadn't thought about it. I hadn't planned on this being anything until about a minute before I'd asked them to help me with the cake. And now, thanks to my friends, this was snowballing into a full surprise party. I looked at Izzy, who was hesitating in the doorway.

"Tell José to take her and Perla out for a bit," I said. "Tell them to build a snowman or have a snowball fight or something. That should buy us enough time to set up the hall with some games and stuff."

Izzy nodded and sprang into action. Lucas and I went to search the classroom for games. We found Twister, Clue, Monopoly and a bunch of jigsaws that might not have still had all of their pieces. William raided the cupboards in the gym hall and set up an obstacle course of his own design. Izzy and Jack came back with some homemade decorations. We were just finishing putting them up when Mia and Perla burst through the door. Their faces were flushed from the cold outside.

"Woah!" Mia said, looking around her in wonder, taking in the banner with her name on it. She ran over to where I was standing on a chair trying to fix some streamers to the wall. "Did you do this?"

"We all did," I said and then laughed as she hugged my legs.

"Thank you," she said. She looked shyly around at everyone else, "Thanks, everyone."

Mia and Perla ran William's obstacle course about four times to warm up from the cold they'd been in outside. They only took a break when Dee came through, nervously carrying her cake.

We all sang Happy Birthday and, although Dee kept apologizing for it "not being a proper cake", none of us had had real cake in so long that it wound up tasting like the best damn cake we'd ever had.We got the fire going and played games well into the night. For once, the hall was full of laughter and relaxed chatter.

At the end of it all, we sat down, and I read Mia's favourite parts of A Christmas Carol. She made me do it in Muppet voices because that had been her favourite Christmas movie, and she just didn't think the book was as good without Kermit.Perla got tired and fell asleep halfway through. Other people started to turn in for the night, but Mia was so hyped from the day that I didn't think she'd ever get to sleep.She came to sit down next to me. Tired and happy.

"Happy Birthday, kid," I said. "Sorry, it ain't much."

"I had the best day," she rested her head on my shoulder. "One of my best Birthdays."

"Really?" I said, seemed unbelievable, but sweet of her to say. "What about when the Winter Carnival came to town, and we ate nothing but candied apples and corndogs?"

"Ohh, yeah," she said. "And the hot chocolates!"

"Yeah, that hot chocolate was almost as big as you were," I said.

"Yeah, that was a good Birthday too," she said. "Although I didn't like the clowns."

"Nobody does," I said. "I don't know why they insist on having them."

"Probably too scared to fire them," Mia said.

I laughed. "Probably."

We sat by the fire for a while, which was starting to die down. Mia reached for another comforter and pulled it around us both.

"What was your best Birthday?" she asked. There was really only one that stuck out. I reached for my bag.

"I ever tell you how I got this?"

"No."

"A friend made it for me," I said.

"Really? Who?"

"You remember Daryl?"

"Of course."

"He made it," I looked down at the bag and smiled. The hall was getting, but the memory kept me warm.

"How old were you?"

"Sixteen," I said. "I'd kinda forgotten it was my Birthday."

"You forgot your Birthday?" Mia asked incredulously.

"Er... you forgot yours too," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but we don't have any clocks or calendars," she said. "And it's probably not my real Birthday. What was your excuse?"

"I knew it was soon," I laughed. "I was just too busy to realize it. Momma had been away for a long time. I had to pull all of these crazy shifts at the diner I was working at to make up for the rent we'd missed."

Mia looked surprised. "Where did she go?"

"No idea," I said. "Not sure Momma did either. She was real sick when she came back. I missed a lot of school trying to take care of her, lost track of the days."

"Sounds like a bad Birthday so far," Mia said.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I was in a crappy mood."

"And then what?"

"And then Daryl knocked on the door-."

"And he gave you the bag?" Mia asked, interrupting the story she was so damn eager to hear.

"Yeah, kind of. We walked up to the top of the hill first. You know, the one that looks towards Atlanta?"

"Where the log is?" Mia asked. I nodded. "Did you know your name's written on it?"

"Yeah, who do you think carved it there, dummy? We hung out up there a lot," I said. "So, he gave me my bag, and we sat there and ate a cake."

"A whole cake?" she asked.

"Yup," I said. "Felt pretty sick after."

Mia touched my bag and then, looking thoughtful, she reached over and picked up Kineival. "Did he make the bear too?"

"Nah," I said. "We found that little guy on the way home from school. Think Daryl must've welded him on there. Welded him good too, he ain't fallen off once in all these years."

Mia smiled at the little bear and then let him rest gently against the bag again. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye, "You think he's still out there?"

"Who? Daryl?"

"Yeah."

"Probably," I said. Might have been a nieve hope but it didn't feel that way. "He's tough as nails. If anyone can survive this, it's him."

She still had a sly little smile on her face, "Maybe you'll find him again."

"Maybe," I said. The thought of it twisted my stomach with horrible nerves. "Dunno if he'd want to see me again."

"Why? Because you had a big fight?"

"Yeah."

"He doesn't care about that."

She said it so matter-of-factly that it made me laugh, "How would you know? You haven't seen him since you was little."

"Yes I have!" she said, and I felt a whole mix of shit. I'd specifically told him to stay away from my family. I'd said it in anger. I'd said it to stop the Dixon brothers from selling shit to Momma and fucking things up for Mia. But a tiny part of me had also said it to hurt him. I knew he loved Mia like she were his blood too, but that didn't mean shit when it came to Merle trying to sell to Momma. I couldn't put Mia at risk. Daryl had to have known that, right? Would he really have gone behind my back like that?

Sadness and rage must have shown on my face. Mia looked concerned it was her I was mad at rather than a mix of Daryl and myself. She cleared her throat, "I saw him when we went to his dad's funeral."

"What?"

"He made me promise I wouldn't tell you," she said, looking a little bit guilty. "Because he knew you were looking for him and he didn't want you to find him-"

"Well, there you go then," I said, quickly. Her words stung, and I didn't want to get mad at her on her pretend Birthday. "He doesn't want to-"

"He missed you," she insisted. "I could tell."

She'd always been like this, always acted older and wiser than her years, but there was no way she could know how complicated the situation was. I shook my head. "No, you couldn't."

"He asked about you," she said. "Wanted to know you were doing okay. He was just as miserable as you are. I think you're both dumb for having that fight."

You and me both, kid.

"I'm not miserable," I said because it was the only point I could really argue with her about. Then, I looked around where we were, "I mean, things ain't great right now, but they won't always be so bad. And we've been so lucky to get through what we have-"

"That's not what I mean," Mia reached for her own bag. "I want you to be happy. And you were never really happy, not even in DC. He made you happy."

"You can't possibly remember that," I said. "You were so little when we fell out."

"I don't remember much," she admitted. "But I know you were never as happy as you are here."

She pulled a photograph out of a small, zipped compartment in her bag and handed it to me. There were three of us in it. Me, with cake all around my mouth and balancing baby-Mia on my hip. Daryl was standing next to me, holding a half-eaten slice of cake in his bare hand. We were grinning like idiots under the Happy 1st Birthday Mia sign we'd painted on an old bedsheet, not half as pretty as the one Izzy had just made. I had a vague memory of Momma taking the picture, but I'd never seen it. I'd just assumed she'd never bothered to get it developed and it had sat around in a pile of other shit she'd forgotten to do.

"Where'd you get this?" I asked.

"I've always had it," she shrugged. "Brought it when I moved in with you. It's my favourite picture of you. Actually, no, it's my second favourite. My favourite is the one we took at the beach, do you remember?"

"Where we had ice-cream moustaches?" I said. She nodded. "Yeah, I like that one too."

"But that one is on your phone, and I can't look at it anymore so now this one is my favourite."

"Why'd you never show me this?"

"Didn't want to make you sad," she shrugged, and then she looked worried she might be in trouble for it. "You can keep it if you like."

"Nah, that's okay," I passed it back to her. Looking at it too long had made my heart hurt. She put it carefully into her bag and sat back, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Love you, Naomi."

"Love you too," I said.

The good feelings from Mia's fake birthday lasted for maybe a week. Winter dragged on. Things got worse, colder. Our food supplies were getting low, and the hall was either full of smoke or absolutely freezing. I started giving half of my rations to Mia without her knowing. She was getting too skinny. I saw Jose doing the same for Perla.

William and Jack kept going on runs to find food in the houses around us. But they were coming back with less and less. One day they came back empty-handed but with huge smiles. I wondered if if the weeks of ice and snow and empty stomachs had proven too much and they'd finally cracked.

"Guys," William looked more hopeful than he had in months. Their sudden energy clashed against the downbeat mood of the hall. "We've found something by the railroad tracks."

"What?" Dee asked wearily.

"If it wasn't food or firewood, I'm not sure I care," Izzy said.

"Let him talk, will ya?" Jack snapped. She glared at him, but was too tired to snap back.

"No, it ain't food or firewood," William said. "But someone's put a sign there. Says there's a Sanctuary if we follow it."

I sat up straighter, even though my body was exhausted. "You think it's for real?"

"Could be a trap," Lucas said.

Jack looked sceptical, "A trap for what? Our minimal supply of old school dinners?"

"It does seem weird," Dee said. Nobody disagreed. Although nobody could come up with an explanation for what they'd be trapping us into either. "Did you see who left it there?"

"No," William said. "All I know is, it wasn't there two days ago. So it must be recent. Which means this place is probably close."

"Should we check it out?" José asked.

William shrugged, "What do we have to lose?"

Again, nobody disagreed.

"I don't know..." Lucas hesitated.

"I vote we go," I said. Staying here and waiting to starve to death was as much of a death sentence as walking into a trap. "We're almost out of everything here."

"Me too," Izzy said. "I can't look at these fucking walls anymore."

"I'm in," José said. Perla looked up at him, then back at the rest of us and nodded. Since Blanca had died, they'd been almost inseparable.

Dee and Lucas reluctantly agreed. We packed up as much as we could. The rest of our food supplies were laid out on the ground around us. With no idea how long we'd be walking for, we ate until we were full and packed the rest. We would all need as much of our strength as we could muster.

William led us to where he'd found the sign by the railway tracks. Sure enough, someone had written the words; 'Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive.' I'd been out here before and couldn't remember seeing it, but as we all stared at it, I couldn't be sure it was new. Maybe it had always been there, and it was only now that we were starving for hope that we decided to pay it any attention.

"Ain't very descriptive, is it?" I said, already so cold that I was half thinking about turning back around. At least the empty school was a fraction warmer.

"I guess we just follow the tracks," William said. "There might be more signs along the way."

"Alright," said Lucas. "Let's do this."

We walked for a full day, carrying everything we owned on our backs. The only good thing about the cold was that it seemed to slow the dead down a little bit. Some of them had frozen to the ground itself, and we could walk right by without having to use any energy taking any of them out.When it started to get dark, we took a break to eat something.

"Can we stop?" Perla asked quietly. "I'm tired. My toes are cold."

"I'm tired too," Mia said. Her face was so pale, except the tip of her nose which had turned bright red.

I'd stopped being able to feel my toes a few miles back. It was only going to get colder. But the flimsy tents we'd brought weren't much protection against that.

"We can't camp here," Jack said, just saying out loud what the rest of us already knew to be true. "We'll freeze to death."

"Agreed," Dee sighed, her breath coming out in clouds in front of her. Mia and Perla looked close to tears with exhaustion.

I looked at José. "We might have to carry them," I said. He nodded.

"Share the load out of your packs," Lucas said. "If we spread it around the group, it won't be too bad, and you can take the kids."

José and I unpacked almost everything, giving a few items to each of our friends to carry. I took Mia on my back, José took Perla on his, and we began the walk again.

Dee and Lucas walked behind us, keeping an eye out for any of the dead who might be following our trail. Jack and William took the front, hunting for more signs that pointed towards the supposed Sanctuary.

There were moments where I didn't think we were going to make it. Each step I took, I was sure that I was getting closer to my last. My whole body ached. I kept looking at José, who was struggling to hold Perla up as the night went on. It was a lot for sixteen-year-old to manage. I kept thinking about his mother, the promises I'd made her.

"Take a break," I said to him.

"We can't stop," he said. "If we stop moving, we'll freeze."

"Let Lucas take Perla for a while," I said. "Rest your back. You're no good to her if you're dead on your feet."

He looked like he wanted to argue with me but was too cold to do so. I beckoned Lucas over, and he gave José his backpack while he piggybacked Perla the rest of the way. Dawn came and went, it was almost midday by the time we came in sight of the train station. On the side of the building, in tall letters, was the word 'Terminus'. We stopped.

"Think this is it?" Lucas asked, setting Perla down on the ground. I put Mia down too. They stood next to each other, looking tired and scared.

"This has to be it," Dee said. "We've followed every sign. We've walked for so long."

"Only one way to find out, I guess," I said. Mia's hand slipped into mine as we made our way to what had once been the main door. I hesitated, knocked, and then we all took a giant step back. My hand automatically moved to the hilt of a knife I had slipped through my belt hook.

A middle-aged woman with light blonde hair and sharp blue eyes greeted us at the door. Worn out and exhausted, none of us knew what to say. I stepped in front of Mia and Perla as I saw her looking at them. She glanced up at me and smiled.

"Welcome to Terminus," she said. Her voice was calm and non-threatening. She looked at us with pity. "I'm Mary. You're all very brave to make this trip in such terrible conditions."

There was a hesitation from around me. I looked around at everyone, they all looked back at me.

"I'm Naomi," I said because that seemed to be what everyone was waiting for. "We saw y'all had some signs up along the railway tracks."

Mary gave us a broad and friendly smile. "Well, you're in the right place," she said. "Why don't you come in out of the cold? You look exhausted."

We were. But none of us took a step forward.

"You got room for all of us?" I asked. If this place was legit, it would be alright if she could only take the kids. I'd rather give Mia and Perla a future than have them die in the cold with us.

"More the merrier," she said. "Come on inside. You're just in time for lunch."

There weren't much else we could do or verify from where we were. The courtyard we were in was full of snow and ice, might've been full of people if it were summer but I guessed most of them were all inside now. I walked towards her, felt everyone else fall into step behind me. Mary stepped back from the doorway to let us in. I could smell something cooking. My stomach rumbled immediately.

"Smells good in here," I said. "You guys cooking something?"

"Soup," she said. "Not much meat here, but we managed to grow a good amount of veggies when the weather was still warm.."

"Naomi here is an A-grade hunter," Lucas said, patting me on the back. I felt myself go red. "I'm sure, come the warmer weather, she can get some meat in those soups too."

Mary chuckled. "That would be much appreciated."

Away from the icy winds and the snow that made it all strangely quiet, the inside of Terminus was bustling. Kids younger and older than Mia ran around the old benches of what had been a waiting room. There were toys and books. I could hear people chatting and laughing, the whole thing felt like a dream. It was warm too, enough of a contrast from the weather outside that my fingers started to hurt as they warmed up.

Mary's sons, Gareth and Alex, came to greet us. They showed us around, gave us some food and let us rest awhile. Everyone slept in the same large part of the station. There were old camping mats and mattresses laid down. It was the best sleep any of us had had in months.

I didn't count, but there must have been at least thirty survivors there. It felt like a Utopia. Like all of the luckiest people on Earth had come together under one roof.

It weren't long before the weather changed either, and Spring started to move in. Mary showed the kids how to plant stuff and tend to their old vegetable patches outside. I went hunting, took other people with me and showed them how to string up and bleed out bigger catches. Mia and Perla made friends. After a month or two, I stopped worrying about this place falling apart. Things felt genuinely stable for the first time in a long time.

"Hey, Naomi," someone called over to me. I looked up from the book I was reading.

"You alright, Gareth?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm just about to go on a supply, would you mind taking over the broadcast today?"

"Not at all," I smiled. "Show me how it's done?"

He led me to the communications room, full of dusty old computers and a battery-operated radio. "We send out one broadcast every hour," he said. "Turn it off in between to save on battery. Everything you need to say is on this piece of paper. Got it?"

"Got it," I said.

"Thanks for doing this," he gave me a pat on the back and left me to it. For what sounds like a tedious job, it was actually pretty exciting to think of all the people I might be broadcasting to.

Every hour, on the dot, I'd turn it on and say, "Sanctuary can be found at the North Georgia Rail Terminus. Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive."

I enjoyed it so much, I volunteered to do it again whenever I could. It meant I went to bed with a huge sense of peace. Even though we hadn't had anyone new show up here in a while, I thought about who might have heard me. People that would get some hope from our message, who'd follow it and finally find a safe place in all of this madness. I never thought, not in a million years, of the violence it would bring to our door.

They came in the dead of night.

I only woke up when Mia screamed.

I don't know if it was a reflex from waking up when she cried in the night as a baby, but I knew it was her before I even remembered where I was. It was still dark. I reached out to see if she was still lying where she should be, beside me. She weren't.

I sat up.

A hand clamped down over my mouth.

"Don't move," a man growled in my ear. I did not recognize his voice. "One wrong move and we'll hurt the kids. Got it?"

I nodded to show I understood.

Another guy towered over me. He was holding a struggling Mia in his arms, a meaty hand over her mouth. Her eyes met mine, and for a second, she was still.

The man behind me said, "You make a move or a noise, and we'll hurt her. And if she screams, we'll hurt you. Do you both understand?"

We both nodded. I could hear people creeping in the dark around us, kids being snatched up from their beds, threatening whispers as people woke up. The guy behind me took his hand away from my mouth and tired both of mine behind my back.

"This one yours?" the guy holding Mia asked, giving her a shake. I nodded. My hands now firmly tied, the guy behind me moved around and shone his torch in my face.

"Bit young to have a kid this old, aren't you," he said, sneering at me. "How old were you when you had this one, you little slut?"

"That's my sister!" Mia said defiantly. I froze. My heart grew cold with dread. Her voice had woken up some other people.

"I told you to shut the hell up," the guy holding her said. I thought he was going to kill her. But instead, the guy who'd tied my hands struck me across the mouth with his heavy, metal torch. I tasted blood. But I was just glad it was me and not her. The shock of it made Mia start weeping. But it was silent. I knew she was blaming herself for what had just happened.

They made all of the kids line up against one wall and tied the adults up on the opposite one.

Please just rob us and go, I thought. Please take what you want and leave us.

Without saying anything else, they started forcing the kids out of the room. I watched Mia struggle against a guy who was trying to get her to move. I watched them all looking at her and then each other, trying to decide whether she was too much trouble and if they should just kill her now.

"Mia!" I called to her. She stopped. Looked at me with tears streaming down her face. The whole room tensed up. We weren't supposed to speak. Everyone knew that. "It's okay. Just do what they say. You'll be alright."

"Best listen to her," the guy in front of me warned her. She stopped and fixed her sad, scared eyes on me. I did my best not to look scared. If she thought I were brave, maybe she would be too.

"It's going to be alright, Mia," I said again. I sounded so calm I almost believed it myself. The rest of the kids relaxed a bit too, and they were all lead off somewhere else.

I only let myself feel scared when she was actually gone. I looked up at the guy that seemed to be in charge.

"Please don't hurt them," I whispered.

He crouched down, got real close to my face. "That was real helpful, little lady, thank you," he said. There was something cold and dead about his eyes. I'd rather have been staring at one of the dead. He stood up and looked at the adults he had lined up. "If anyone steps out of line, we'll kill the kids. You got that?"

I stared at the ground, an icy knot of dread in the pit of my stomach. Nobody said anything, too scared that if we did they'd hurt the children. I could hear people sobbing around me.

We were taken out of the building, to where old train cars that used to transport goods now sat empty and unused. The split us up, arbitrarily forcing us into one of three. Nobody fought. Nobody struggled. Nobody could see any of our kids.

The container they shoved me in to was dark and cold. I caught sight of Dee, huddled in a corner. Neither of us dared move until the door shut. I ran to her, threw my arms around her.

"What do we do, Naomi?" she sobbed into my shoulder. "What do we do."

"Nothing we can do," I whispered. "We have to protect the kids."

She closed her eyes for a moment, like that might somehow shut out the reality of it all.

The door opened again, and a bright torchlight swept over us.

"Everyone sit down, with your backs against the walls," the voice of the ringleader shouted. Dee started to shake, but I had to let go of her. We walked close together and sat down with our backs against the container walls. They were cold. Nobody looked at each other. The torchlight swept over us again. Blinding. It stopped on me. Someone walked over, a looming shadow being.

"Since you were such a help to us before," he said. "I think I'll start with you."

He dragged me out by my hair.

Daryl

A family of pigs were living out in the woods near the prison, must've got off a farm somewhere. I spotted them one day when I were out on a hunt. A Momma and six piglets.

I knew if I went for one of the piglets, I faced coming back to a real aggressive Momma, but if I could trap her first then the babies would be a lot easier. I headed back to the prison to get some supplies.

I still liked to hunt alone. The prison were going good, but it was getting busy in there. We'd chased off the Governor and taken in survivors from Woodbury. That meant more mouths to feed, but also more people to clear the fences when Walkers built up there. More people to come on runs with us. More people to manage the fields and help plant things.

More people asking to join me on a hunt.

I'd said yes a couple of times but they'd all been so damn noisy. Or just wanted to chat absolute shit. Some people didn't know that hunting weren't a social activity. So, when I could, I did it on my own.

"Hey, Carl," I said, as he opened the prison gates to let me back in. "Go get your dad, will ya? Tell him I'll be in the generator room."

Carl nodded and ran off. There was a lot of junk in the generator room. Surely, some of it would be good for building a trap. I wished I was better at that kind of thing, but I'd always had someone else to do it for me. If Naomi had been here, she'd have made a real clever one that worked way better than any of the ones you can buy. I ain't as good as that, but I did the best I could.

"Hey, Daryl," Rick said from the doorway. There was a little sweat on his brow, like he'd been out working in the yard all day. Carl stood behind him. "What you looking for?"

"Family of pigs out there," I said. "Thought if we can catch 'em, we could bring 'em in. Fatten them up."

"That's a great idea, Daryl," he said. "You need some help?"

"Yeah."

"I'll ask Hershel and Glenn to build them a pen," he said.

"Can I come?" Carl asked. He were still so little, but he'd been trying to do a lot more to help out. Rick looked at me like it was me he needed permission from. Perhaps I'd been a bit too firm about this hunting alone thing in the past. Didn't object to Carl coming, he was a good kid.

"Sure thing," I said. "In fact, will you go get some food? We need some bait."

"Yeah," Carl said, then he hesitated. "What kind of food do they like?"

"Pigs'll eat anything," I said. "Never heard the phrase 'eat like a pig'? It's 'cause they ain't fussy."

"Eat anything," Rick laughed. "Bit like you then, huh?"

"Pigs are smart," I shrugged. "It ain't our fault you're not on our level.

Carl ran off to get some food and Rick went to talk to Glenn and Hershel while I loaded some creates into one of the cars. We drove close to where I'd seen them, but not too close. Closed the car doors real quiet too, so they wouldn't hear us and get scared off. I opened up the trunk and picked up the pile of crates and food Carl had stuffed in there.

"Just up here," I whispered, motioning in the direction of the pigs. "Nice and quiet."

Carl looked at me and nodded. Rick fell into step beside me. I could hear them squealing up ahead, a good sign they didn't know we were there.

When we got close enough, I set up a box trap with a little bit of the food underneath. It weren't very sophisticated but I hoped it would do the trick. Carl and I used the rest of the food to lay a little trail.

"Now what?" he whispered.

"We wait, while your dad drives them close to our trail," I said. "Hopefully she'll take the bait."

"It's a she?" Carl asked.

"Yup," I said. "It's a Momma and her kids."

"Cool!"

Carl and I went to sit just out of sight of the box trap. Rick had crept around to the other side of the clearing and made a sudden noise. When Naomi and I had done this, we'd take it in turns to make the dumbest noises we could to try and make the other one laugh. Rick clapped his hands and I didn't realize until he did it how much I'd just been expecting to hear Naomi's dumb chicken squawk. Did its job though, pigs got startled and scurried through the bushes towards us. The Momma took her time but eventually she sniffed out the trail of food we'd left.

I watched as Carl leant forward to stare at her, with wide-eyed anticipation and she got closer and closer to the upturned crate.

"Ready?" I whispered to him. He nodded.

The Momma found the food under the trap. Her nose hit the stick keeping it up and the crate fell on her. She let out an alarmed squeal that sent her piglets into a panicked frenzy. Rick leapt out of the bushes and tackled one of them.

"Go!" I yelled at Carl as I did the same. It wriggled and tried to break free. They're small but they're strong. Carl held up the second empty crate for us to put them in when we caught them. Rick managed to grab two. I chucked in the one I was holding and then there was only three left. Rick and I grabbed one each. Five in the crate. One running around. Rick yelled as he lunged for it. It ran further into the undergrowth. I watched as Rick scrambled after it.

A Walker lunged for him.

The noise the piglets were making was drawing them out.

"Rick!" I yelled. "Watch out!"

He looked up just in time to see it and get out of the way. Piglet wasn't so lucky, was too busy trying to avoid Rick and ran right into it.

"Go!" Rick said, while the Walker was distracted eating the piglet alive. "Go!"

Carl ran back to the car. Rick and I ran to pick up the momma pig, grabbing her before she could make an escape. Together we managed to get her in the car with her babies and drive back to prison before too many Walkers came out of the woods.

Back at the prison there was a lot of noise about the piglets. A whole bunch of people came up to talk to us about it. Thank us like we'd done something superhuman. Kids crowded around a squealed about how cute they were, which made me worry about the conversations their parents would have to have when the time came to slaughter the first one. I excused myself as fast as I could. All that fuss always made me want to run away.

I felt good, though, happy. We still lost people, runs could be tricky, but this was the best things had been in a long time.

I made my way to the bridge to be on my own for a little bit. From there I could see Glenn and Hershel trying to wrangle the little piglets into the pen they'd made. Could smell someone else barbequing a deer I'd brought back somewhere else. A shadow fell over me. For a second, I was annoyed that my peace had already been disturbed, but when I looked up, it was just Carol. Didn't mind that.

"So what's her name?" Carol asked, sitting down next to me.

"Who?"

It weren't like Carol to forget a name. It weren't like me to remember them, either. Lots of new faces to avoid.

"Whoever it is stopping you from looking twice at any of the women fawning over you about those piglets," she said. I rolled my eyes. Woodbury folk were soft. Overly grateful for everything, it were embarrassing. Carol hesitated for a sec and then followed with. "Or any of the guys, for that matter..."

I almost told her to piss off.

I almost said 'nobody'.

But I didn't. I dunno why. I liked Carol. I'd liked Sophia, too. Always felt like we'd let her down. Maybe it was seeing her share that loss with me that made me want to share my own. Maybe it was just that, without Merle around, I was the only one who'd known she existed and having someone else know her name would make her feel less… gone. Whatever the reason, I said, "Naomi."

It had been so long since I'd heard her name. It still hurt to say. Still didn't sit right in my mouth. I looked at my feet, feeling like I'd said too much and not enough all at once.

"Naomi," she repeated with a smile. It felt weird to hear Carol say it. "Is she dead?"

"Think so," I said, remembering the flames. The smoke. The way her name had burned in my throat. I shrugged. "Gotta assume so, right?"

"You weren't with her when all this happened?"

"Nah." My throat was dry, like there was still smoke in it. I coughed. "Her Momma got sick, and she was looking after her."

"Was her Momma bit?"

"I think so," I shrugged again. "I dunno. But… something must've happened because I… I tried to go get her but… her whole house were in flames. I couldn't get in."

My throat closed up, and I couldn't say any more, although I could tell that Carol wanted me too.

Sorry.

That was all I wanted to say. For so many things. But I didn't because Carol wasn't who I wanted to say it too. And dead girls ain't listening.

"What was she like?"

"Huh?"

"Naomi. What was she like?" Carol asked again. I didn't answer right away, so she said, "She pretty?"

I could tell she were teasing me, trying to lift me out of the mood I was slipping into. It kinda worked.

"Beautiful," I said. "But that ain't it. She had this way of seeing things that were… just so different. Even when we were kids. It were like she could see how shitty things wer, but instead of giving up she were always looking for ways to fight it, to fix it, to be more than what people thought of us."

"You grew up together?" Carol sounded surprised.

"Yeah," I said. "Learnt to hunt together too. My Momma was dead, her Momma was a shit. My dad was a shit. Merle weren't around much."

"So it was just you two?"

"Yeah, for the most part," I said. It was weird. Talking about her like this, with someone who'd never known her, was kinda nice. Like it brought a part of her closer. I didn't even notice that Carol wasn't prompting me to talk about her any more, I just kept going. "Smartest person I ever met, reads like crazy. She really made something of herself to... went to college and everything."

"That's great," Carol said. I nodded in agreement.

"Most stubborn person I ever met too," I said. "Don't think she'd have made it out of Georgia if she weren't."

"More stubborn than you?" Carol laughed.

"She's who I learned it from. Never gives up on anything," I said, and I was kinda laughing too. "Not even me. Only person who ever thought I could make something of myself."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, she's always had my back." I smiled. "She had all these crazy plans for me like I was gonna take over the world or something. Got real angry when I dropped outta school but then she bounced right back with this binder full of things I could do with my life and a damn twelve-step plan on how I could do each of 'em. She loves a binder. Loves a list. Loves a spreadsheet or whatever."

"Sounds like she just really loved you," Carol said, with a smile and a shrug. It stung more than I think she meant it to. I'd never thought of it like that. All of her worrying, her list-making, her stupid binders…

"Maybe," I shrugged.

"So, you don't know if she got outta the fire?" Carol asked.

"Nah," I said. "Merle... he held me back. Dragged me off. I'll never know what happened."

"Then there's always hope," she said. "Merle survived longer than the rest of us thought, went out on his own terms. She could be out there somewhere, your Naomi."

My stomach twisted because she weren't mine, never had been.

"Dumb to hope, ain't it?" I said, surprised that she of all people would think that hoping for someone to still be alive in all this mess was a smart thing to do, after everything that had happened with Sophia.

She shrugged, "I think hope's built in our nature."

"Nah."

"Well, you're still hoping," she said. "I know that at least."

"Nah. I ain't."

"You are," she said. "You know how I can tell? You said she reads like crazy. She loves a binder.' If you really thought she was dead, you'd talk about her like she was. You still hope."

"Nah," I said, but it sounded flimsy when I did. There was a little spark of something light in my chest that betrayed me.

"If you didn't have hope, you wouldn't still be waiting for her," she said.

"I ain't waiting."

"Okay," Carol said, in that way she does when she doesn't believe a word I'm saying. "Well all I'm saying is, you ain't fooling around with anyone either. I'm sure if you did find her again, she wouldn't hold it against you for starting something casual."

"Nah. It ain't like that for me," I said. "I can't just… y' know…."

I stopped. Even I didn't know what I was trying to say and it was making me so uncomfortable I wanted to start yelling at her for prying into my personal shit.

"What? Move on?" she said, and I shrugged because it felt like a half-truth. Carol gave me a playful nudge on my arm. "Who knew you were such a softie?"

"Shut up," I said, but it made me smile.

"I'm serious," she laughed. "You remind me of this grizzly old bear Sophia used to love seeing at the zoo. He was all scratched up, had an eye missing because he'd rescued from some horrible circus. But Sophia was crying because she dropped a doll into his enclosure. He just picked it up and handed it right back."

"Bullshit," I laughed.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Carol said, which was a dangerous thing to say in these times. "He was probably just doing some old circus trick he'd been taught but still… it was sweet. Pookie I think they called him."

"Dumbass name," I said. Carol laughed and ruffled my hair as she stood up again.

"They'll be some food ready soon," she said. "You should come down."

"Yeah, I'll see you down there," I said, waving her off.

Things were good for a while. Maybe even great. And then people got sick. A whole Cell Block mostly full of Woodbury survivors got hit the worst. A kid died and turned in the night. A whole host of people who hadn't locked or closed their cell doors while they were sleeping got bit or eaten. It was chaos. We lost a lot of people. The sound of our gunfire putting down the ones who'd turned drew more Walkers out of the woods. They put a strain on one of the fences and it damn near collapsed.

We had to give them the pigs. They were all sick too, so we probably couldn't have eaten them anyway. They might've been what got some of us sick in the first place. The dead pigs distracted the Walkers long enough for us to re-enforce the fence. It wouldn't last forever, but it would do while we tried to sort out everything else. We thought the sickness might've started with the pigs, and that killing them and burning up their pen would stop it spreading, but it was too late. More people were infected, and we had to quarantine them in Cell Block A.

Two infected people were killed by one of our own, their bodies burned up. It weren't enough. The infection still spread.

Hershel said it weren't the sickness that was killing them, it was the symptoms. We needed antibiotics.

I lead a group on a run to get some from a nearby veterinary school. Hershel was confident it would have what we needed and was less likely to have been ransacked by other people, like the hospitals and pharmacies nearby. By now, Glenn had bee infected and couldn't come with us, even though he's one of the best at this kinda thing. Dead quiet on his feet. Skinny enough to fit through most gaps. So I took Michonne, Tyreese and Bob. Rick stayed to keep a handle on things.

We drove part of the way, until I heard something on the radio,

"Sanctuary...Sanctuary...survive..."

There was something about the voice that made my heart leap into my throat. Might've just been the shock of hearing someone trying to communicate with us after so long. But it felt like more than that. There were something about the voice that was... familiar?

I lost control of the car, felt it ploughing into something, but my eyes were on the radio. I stopped driving, was kind of aware of people yelling around me.

"Shut UP, will ya!" I yelled back at them, turning the radio dial desperately back and forth to see if I could get that voice again. Clearer this time. I'd know more if I could hear her.

Nothing but static.

The car cut out.

More damn yelling from the people around me.

"DARYL!" Michonne grabbed my arm. I looked up at her, ready to tell her to piss off, and then I saw just how many Walkers I'd ploughed into. We were surrounded. And the car wouldn't start again.

Fuck.

I grabbed up my bag and my crossbow. If we didn't fight our way out now, we wouldn't get out at all. We'd never get the antibiotics. I'd never find that voice again. There was an old radio back at the prison that I might be able to fix up. Maybe then I'd be able to hear the whole message.

We had to make it the rest of the way to the veterinary college on foot. We found Walkers there that had died of the same sickness people at the prison had. You could tell by the dried blood that ran from their eyes. There were antibiotics there too though, thank God. I just prayed there were enough for everyone who was sick.

On the way back we found a minivan that we had to hotwire since I'd written off the car on the way here.

"You mind driving, man?" I asked Tyreese. The guy was having a pretty shit time and I hoped the task would distract him from the fact his sister was sick and his girlfriend was on of the people who had been shot and set on fire.

"Sure," he said. Looked kinda surprised at the question. I rode shotgun. Second the car started I reached for the radio and turned it on.

"What you doing, Daryl?" Michonne asked from the back seat as I flicked through the channels. I shushed her in case she talked over what I was looking for. Every weird sound in the static made my heart leap.

"Daryl…" Michonne said again. Frustrated, I whipped round to look at her.

"I'm tryna find that broadcast we heard before," I said.

"You mean before you totaled our car?" she said.

"Yeah," I didn't have the time to argue about it. "None of the rest of y'all think it was weird or wanna know what it was?"

"I guess," Bob said. "But we got more important things to worry about right now."

"We're on our way," I said, annoyed that nobody else seemed bothered about this. "Can't heal anyone from the car, man. Might as well try."

I desperately wanted to hear it again, though I weren't reall sure why. I knew the buzz of the static were annoying everyone but they let me sit and do it anyway. It had been a damn long run, I'm sure they knew shutting up was easier than arguing with me.

I didn't find it. We arrived at the prison gates to find more Walkers swarmed around them. Had to fight our way through to get back home. Seed like we got back not a second too soon. A doctor from Woodbury was dead and Hershel had gone in there in his place. Maggie was so worried about Glenn in quarantine that she was damn near breaking in there herself. We gave them the drugs and then it was just a matter of waiting to see who came out alive.

I've never been good at sitting around waiting on shit like that. Hunting or fishing? I can wait days for something like that. But waiting on other people? It's bullshit.

"Hey, Rick," I said. He looked nervous, like I was about to yell at him for something. I didn't think anything of it except that everyone was a little tense right now.

"Yeah?"

"There's gotta be a radio round here somewhere, right?" I asked.

"Er… yeah," Rick said. "There's one in the old Comms room. Doesn't work, though."

"Can I take a look at it?" I asked.

"Sure," he said and lead me through the communal prison area. "Mind if I ask what you're hoping to find?"

"I heard this… this voice on the radio today," I said. "Saying something about a Sanctuary."

"We got a sanctuary right here, man."

"Yeah, I know," I said, and I was annoyed because I couldn't shake the feeling that hearing that voice had given me. Like it was the most important thing in the world that I find it again. Like things would make sense if I did. Couldn't explain that to Rick, though. He'd have thought I were mad. So, instead I said, "Just… y'know, other survivors man. That's big."

"I guess," he said with a smile that showed he didn't really get it. "Don't get your hopes up though, radio is pretty shot."

I nodded to show I understood, but my heart were hammering loudly in my head. Rick left me to it. I'd found an old tool kit in a supply closet. I unscrewed the back. There was an old battery pack in there. I'd found another one in a drawer in the same room. I couldn't know if it was actually a new one or if whoever had changed the last one just couldn't be bothered to throw it away so had shoved it in the drawer. I swapped them.

Nothing happened.

I checked a few of the wires. Spent hours tweaking them.

Nothing.

No voice. No message about any sanctuary.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

I was there all night. When morning came I was so mad I couldn't get it to work that I nearly punched the damn thing until it was nothing but a pile of useless metal. But then I'd never get it working.

I took off. Went for a walk to clear my head.

Quarantine was starting to empty out. Hershel was back. Glenn looked like shit but he was alive at least.

There were bodies coming out of there too, people who hadn't made it. Hershel and I buried them. I hadn't seen Carol since we got back. I was scared she was one of the sick but she weren't in the pile of bodies coming out of Cell Block A. She weren't in the recovered people who were coming out either. I asked Hershel where she was. He gave me a look I didn't like and then told me I should ask Rick.

Found him in the garden Carl. Didn't want to yell at him right off the bat, especially not I'm front of his kid and without knowing what he had or hadn't done. So, I just asked where she was. He looked pretty serious and sent Carl away.

It was Carol who'd killed Tyreese's sick girlfriend and set the body on fire. She'd done it to protect us and Rick had sent her away for it. He tried to say it was to protect her from what Tyreese would do if he found out but that felt like a weak excuse.

I was about to get mad. About to test how mad Tyreese would get if he knew what happened. But I didn't get a chance. The prison walls started shaking as the Governor launched his final attack, bringing our sanctuary to its knees.