Ch 143: Lost and Found
This is a parody of the episode with the same title.
The chapter begins at Royal Woods Middle School where Lincoln and his friends are part of a group called "Action News team", specializing in school news. Lincoln and Clyde were the news hosts going over some topics.
Lincoln: Guys, I came up with a new topic for this morning news. The mysteries of middle school.
Rusty: Like the mystery of what died in the school lunch yesterday?
Stella: And the mystery of why are there security cameras in the bathroom?
Clyde: And the mystery of why Bolhoffner is a teacher?
Lincoln: That was one of them.
Suddenly, they hear someone yelling in frustration in the hallway.
Lincoln: Now there's a mystery. Let's investigate!
The six kids go into the hallway and see a student looking for something.
Student: Where is it?! [looks in trash can]
Zach: What's he looking for?
Student: I want my stress ball!
Principal Ramirez: All right, all right, don't worry, kid, we'll find it! [to Lincoln] This student lost his toy. Can you go check the Lost and Found?
Student: I need my stress ball! [throws a tantrum and the other teachers get annoyed by this]
Rusty: Sheesh. How old is this guy? Five?
Principal Ramirez: This student's bawling is disrupting other classes. On second thought, this might be a task for all six of you. Follow me, kids.
The student continues bawling. The six students follow their principal to the Lost and Found.
Lincoln: I don't think I've even seen the Lost and Found before.
Clyde: Me neither.
Rusty, Stella, Liam, and Zach: Us too.
Principal Ramirez: Well, it's a lot bigger on the inside.
The principal opens the door to the Lost and Found and dust flies out, making her and the kids cough.
Lincoln: Is there a ladder?
Principal Ramirez: Yes. [she presses a button and a ladder extends out into the lost and found]
Stella: That's convenient.
The kids start to climb down the ladder.
Principal Ramerez: Now, try not to get a bit of anything poisonous!
Clyde: What?
Principal Ramirez: Oh, nothing, nothing. Good luck!
Lincoln sees a box and starts to dig around in it.
Lincoln: Oh, this must be the Lost and Found! [looks through the box] It's not in here!
Principal Ramirez: Try turning on the lights!
Liam turns on the lights and sees a huge collection of lost stuff in the Lost and Found.
The kids gasp as they are surprised at what they see.
Lincoln: Oh! Whoa! Whoa! Wow! Lost umbrellas! Lost flip flops! Lost keys! Lost remotes!
Rusty: Oh! A whole, entire shelf of lost "cool guy" shades!
Zach: Now, that's a sight for more eyes. [laughs as he is wearing a pair of glasses with fake eyes]
Rusty takes a pair of shades and puts them on.
Rusty: Oh, no pictures, please. Did you get my good side? [laughs]
A giggle echoes in the background.
Rusty: What a funny echo. Ha...ha.
Another giggle echoes in the background.
Rusty: [gulps]
Liam: Hey! There's tire swings and cowbells! [gasps] I wonder if there's tchotchkes! Oh! Oh! Tchotchkes!
Zach: Lost novelty items! Wow! I love lost novelty items! [takes out false teeth] Ooh! [The teeth chatter in his arms and shake him, making him step on the whoopee cushions on the floor.]
Zach: Excuse me! Oh!
The chattering teeth make Zach bounce up and down until he grabs a rubber chicken. Then he performs a Latin dance with the rubber chicken while stepping on the whoopee cushions. He throws the rubber chicken away. He screams and ducks as a real chicken flies over him. Zach finishes his Latin dance and cymbal-clapping monkeys clap their cymbals.
Zach: Oh, thank you, cymbal-clapping chimps!
Stella: [notices a snow globe] What is this? Looks like Royal Woods.
She shakes the snow globe. Suddenly, the entire place rumbles and the people in Royal Woods scream as if they are having an earthquake. The shaking stops and Stella nervously puts the snow globe down.
Stella: Whew!
Clyde: [gets hit by a falling box] Whoa!
Lincoln: Clyde! [also gets hit by a box]
The others get hit by boxes as well. Another giggle echoes in the background. Meanwhile, upstairs in the hallway, the principal waits just as Chandler walks over to her.
Chandler: Hey, Principal, you know that annoying kid who's throwing a tantrum?
The boy continues his tantrum.
Chandler: He's still doing it...and it's still annoying!
Principal Ramirez: Chandler, I'm glad you're here. I think Lincoln and his friends may be lost in the Lost and Found.
Chandler: And this concerns me, how, exactly? [gets grabbed by Ramirez] Wait—what?! [screams as he is thrown into the Lost and Found]
Principal Ramirez: Don't worry. There's a ladder.
The student's constant screaming and violent fit gets even louder and it drives all of the teachers crazy.
Principal Ramirez: I need you to find that toy...pronto!
Meanwhile in the Lost and Found, Lincoln wakes up and sees four elderly kids hovering over him.
Lincoln: Whoa! Guys, wake up! We have company. [wakes up his friends]
Clyde: Oh. Are you the people of the too-small clothes?
Ginger: No. We were children, lost in middle school over sixty years ago, and we were never claimed.
Lincoln: Did you drop a box on our heads?
Ginger: Of course! It's how we say hello.
Liam: Oh! [throws a box on one of the older kids] Hello!
Old Kid #1: [weakly] Hello. [moans as he drags away]
Lincoln: Oh, no...looks like I'm lost now too.
Ginger: Don't worry. You are found and can live with us now.
Stella: How did you survive down here all this time?
Ginger: People leave all kinds of things behind. Like gum. And mints. They leave lots of mints. [eats a mint and belches out a horrible breath, which makes Clyde dizzy]
Clyde: Are you sure that gum is still fresh?
Ginger: [claps twice] Bring on the welcoming feast!
The three older kids run away and come back with a table filled with junk food.
Old Kids: Welcoming feast!
Rusty: These must be from the school vending machine. You've got bacon chips. Score!
Ginger: Dig in!
The older kids eat the snacks.
Ginger: After this, who's up for a rousing game of wall ball? [she takes out a toy, which is a stress ball]
Lincoln: Oh, hey! That's the stress ball! Our principal told me to grab that. Thank you!
Ginger: Grr! This? I found it, so...finders keepers.
Old Kids: Finders keepers. Finders keepers.
Lincoln taps Ginger's shoulder.
Ginger: Huh?
Lincoln: [grabs the toy] Yoink! Losers weepers! [runs away with his friends]
Old Kid #2: He is using our sacred words against us!
Ginger: That's my ball! Get him!
The four older kids chase after the six younger kids.
Lincoln: Sorry, but this has to go back to its rightful owner!
The six younger kids continue to run. The four older kids try to catch up, but because they are old, they walk slowly, gasping and wheezing.
Old Kid #2: Run...like the wind…
Meanwhile, Chandler is going around the Lost and Found, looking for Lincoln and his pals.
Chandler: Lincoln Lame and his lame friends! Where are you? I can't believe Ramirez has held on to all this stuff. [notices a box of air horns] Oooh! Air horns! I remember having one when I was younger…
A flashback of a younger Chandler is shown. Little Chandler hides behind a bush where three kids are facing away from him. He blows the air horn, startling the kids. They cover their ears in agony.
Kid: Oh! Ow! My ears! [sobbing]
Chandler chuckles. The flashback ends.
Chandler looks through a box and sees squirt guns in it.
Chandler: These are squirt guns! In fact, these are all my squirt guns! Wait a minute—these weren't lost! They were all in my locker! Mmm.. [hears Lincoln and friends panting] Now what could that possibly—[gets run over by them]
In slow motion, Lincoln and the others step onto Chandler's old squirt guns and break them as they run.
Chandler: [groans and sees the broken squirt guns] Noooooooooooo!
Cut to Principal Ramirez looking through the Lost and Found door.
Principal Ramirez: Chandler? Chandler? It's the curse of the Lost and Found: no one ever gets found. They just stay lost. [closes the door] Oh, well, back to work.
Upset student: Waaah!
Teacher #1: I can't work under these conditions! [leaves]
Teacher #2: Me neither!
Teacher #3: I'm outta here!
Principal Ramirez: [gasps] I'm losing business! Oooh, it's a dark time for middle school.
Upset student: Waaaah!
Principal Ramirez: Waaaaah!
Back in the lost and found, Lincoln and the gang continue to run away from the older kids.
Lincoln: Oh! Lost toys! [almost gets hit by a toy arrow and screams, then he pants as he jumps on a scooter]
Clyde gets a scooter, Stella rides on roller skates, and Rusty, Liam, and Zach use a three person tricycle. The older kids ride on tricycles and skateboards as they chase after the young middle schoolers.
Ginger: Get him!
One of the older kids rides on a pogo stick, but falls over. Another older kid rides up to Lincoln and throws jacks and balls on the floor, making Lincoln fall over.
Clyde: Lincoln!
His friends run over to him and they rush over to another section that has toilets.
Zach: Lost Toilets?
The six kids get on a toilet and ride off. The older kids ride on toilets as they chase after them.
Ginger: We need more speed!
The older kids flush the toilets to go faster. Lincoln and his friends manage to slow them down by getting them tangled with toilet paper, causing them to crash into each other. They go to a section that has pets.
Liam: Lost Pets! [gasps and whimpers]
The younger kids continue to run as the older kids chase him on dogs.
Older Kid #2: Hyah! Hyah! Mush! Mush!
The middle schoolers and the older kids ride through a mine as miners dig up jewelry.
Rusty: Lost Mine!
The older kids throw diamonds at the younger kids, but they block them with a diamond shield. Then, the young kids are seen riding on a Tyrannosaurus in the prehistoric lost world.
Stella: Lost world!
The older kids ride on the back of a Triceratops as they chase the younger kids. Back to Chandler, who is continuing to look for the missing middle schoolers. However, he looks up and sees a hatch on the ceiling.
Chandler: A hatch! Maybe that's the emergency exit! [opens it and grease rains down on him] Grease trap!?
The redhead gets caught in the torrent of grease and screams helplessly. The white haired boy and his friends are still being chased by the older kids until he reaches a dead end.
Clyde: Lost dead ends?! [mutters and whimpers]
The older kids corner them.
Ginger: Give us the ball!
Older kids: Wall ball! Wall ball!
Lincoln: No! This ball belongs to a poor, stressed out kid! [notices grease on the floor] Huh? [licks the grease] Patty grease? From the cafeteria?
Liam: I guess the lunch lady hasn't cleaned the grease trap in a while.
Old Kids: Oh, no.
Ginger: Quick! Get on each other's shoulders.
The older kids make a ladder as they climb on their shoulders.
Ginger: [climbs on them] At least some of us will survive.
Old Kid #1: Aw, come on!
Lincoln: Wait! I have a better idea! [whistles]
Upstairs, Principal Ramirez and the upset boy continue to wail.
Principal Ramirez: No Lincoln, no stress ball, no teachers! [sobbing] All is lost!
A knock is heard on the door.
Principal Ramirez: [sniffles] Who is it?
Lincoln: Tyrann!
Principal Ramirez: Tyrann who? [gasps as the doors burst open and a Tyrannosaurus is pops out with Lincoln and his friends on it]
Lincoln: Tyrannosaurus!
Principal Ramirez: [shocked at what she sees but is relieved to see the six middle schoolers are back] Kids! Thank goodness you're back!
Lincoln: Oh, good to be back Miss Ramerez, but we're not the only ones. Look who we found!
Ginger comes up the door.
Principal Ramirez: Ack! [hits Ginger with Lincoln] Get back! Get back!
Ginger's mother: Ginger? Is that you?
Ginger: Mom? What are you doing here?
Ginger's mother: We came here for a school reunion.
Ginger: "We?"
Ginger's mother: Yes. [other parents show up] Myself and your father and the other parents of kids who were lost here. Where were you?
Ginger: In the Lost and Found!
Ginger's mother: [stutter] There's a Lost and Found?
Princess Ramirez: Hm. Maybe I should put up a sign.
Ginger and the older kids hug their older parents as they are happily reunited.
Lincoln: Aww, all the old people are hugging.
The principal pats Lincoln for doing a good job of reuniting the families.
Lincoln: [to the kid who lost his ball] Hey kid. I believe this belongs to you. [gives the kid his toy]
Middle school kid: I don't want that anymore!
The boy throws the stress ball. Ginger catches the toy.
Ginger: Huh? [plays with the ball] Hmm.
Middle school kid: I want this! [rides on the Tyrannosaurus] Whaaa-hoo!
Stella: This will make an interesting segment for the Action News Team.
Clyde: Yeah. The mystery of the Lost and Found.
Principal Ramirez: Well, I guess we all learned a lesson about being lost and being found today.
Lincoln: What's that, principal?
Principal Ramirez: I don't know. Hey, speaking of lost, where's Chandler? I sent him to look for you guys.
Chandler, who is still in the Lost and Found, screams as he is being swept away in a river of the lost world. He blows the air horn and continues to scream and even bawl uncontrollably as a Tyrannosaurus and Triceratops stomp over him respectively.
Fun fact: I believe this is the first chapter where the action new team group is involved.