Johnny awakened with a jerk, his eyes flying open in the semi-darkness. It took him a moment to shake off whatever had awakened him and reorient himself.

He could hear someone snoring quietly next to him. After a moment, he realized it was Kevin, and that must mean he had stayed here with him last night.

That hadn't been his intention. Hell, he hadn't intended on staying at all. But the evening had taken so much out of him, and the bed was so comfortable that he found himself drifting off. But God, it had been a good night, and not just for the physical aspects.

Still, he should probably find a way to get out of here before Kevin woke up. The man had put up with Johnny long enough, he figured, despite all their talk about getting together outside of the bedroom and anywhere else they found themselves.

Just a few more minutes, and he'd be on his way.

Kevin shifted next to him, his arm reaching out to drape across Johnny's body. Well, so much for that idea. If he moved now, he'd risk waking Kevin up, which would probably lead to a whole other conversation Johnny wasn't ready to have.

Still, this wasn't so bad, was it? Even if this continued to be a casual thing between them, there was no reason why they shouldn't spend more time together. If nothing else, they could become friends. That wouldn't be so bad. Hell, he could always use more friends, more people who understood him. He didn't always feel so understood elsewhere, though he was aware that was mostly his own doing.

Roy was probably still his closest friend, and even then, Johnny couldn't bring himself to reveal his most closely held secrets to him. As for his station mates, forget it. He wasn't going to say a word to any of them.

There were others he met on his nights out, but he didn't make much of an effort to get to know them too well. The risk of being outed was too high. Did that make Johnny a coward? Probably. He wished he could be braver about it, like those who were more actively working toward greater acceptance, but he simply couldn't. It wasn't worth the risk to his livelihood.

He let out a huff of irritation as he rested his hand on Kevin's outstretched arm, causing the other man to stir. "Too damn early." Kevin grumbled.

Well, Johnny definitely couldn't leave now. Not that he really wanted to. "Sorry."

"S'alright." Kevin moved in closer, his body pressing up against Johnny's, his hand sliding to rest on Johnny's chest.

Something in Johnny froze. This wasn't normal for him. He never spent the night with anyone, and now he had done so twice with Kevin.

The first time didn't feel so strange, as he'd woken up alone. It had made it a little easier to face Kevin somehow. But this? This was an entirely different thing. This was something strangely intimate, something Johnny had always managed to avoid.

And yet, he was making no move to escape.

He slid his hand to cover Kevin's, listening as Kevin fell back asleep. Maybe he should try to do the same.

It was a fruitless attempt, and Johnny eventually gave up. Kevin had shifted so that Johnny was essentially pinned under him, and trying to get up would mean awakening Kevin, too.

He let out a short huff. Whether it was out of frustration or out of resignation, Johnny wasn't entirely sure. Kevin moved again, his hand pulling out from under Johnny's and sliding downward to rest on Johnny's hip.

"Still early." Kevin murmured as he pressed a kiss to the spot where Johnny's neck and shoulder met.

"Hmm…I know," Johnny replied quietly, reveling in the sensation as Kevin's lips made their way upward. "Didn't mean to wake you up."

"Oh, I do not mind," Kevin responded. "And don't tell me you mind either."

Johnny had no desire to escape now, surrendering to the feeling of Kevin's mouth and hands wandering all over his body. "Nope. Don't mind a bit."

Kevin laughed quietly, shifting so that he straddled Johnny before leaning over him and capturing his mouth in a long, lingering kiss. There was no urgency here, and even as Johnny's desire grew, he didn't feel the need to rush any of this.

He spread his hands across Kevin's back, slowly running them up and down, the smooth skin a sharp contrast to the rough hair against Johnny's chest. It was almost like being back in the car, their bodies pressed so close together that it was hard to tell who was generating most of the heat.

It didn't matter. This alone felt so damn good, this mixture of rough and tender, their limbs tangled up together, their mutual desire growing as flesh rubbed against flesh.

Johnny arched upward, evoking a rough groan from Kevin. "Goddammit, Johnny."

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Kevin responded. "You just…Christ."

Johnny slid his hands down to rest on Kevin's rear. "Got you hot and bothered?"

"Fuck, yes."

That was all Johnny needed to hear. He started to reach toward the bedside table when Kevin stopped him. "I'll grab it."

"You sure?"

"Mm-hmm," Kevin rolled off him, finding the tube in the drawer, squeezing out a measure and slicking himself up. "Come here."

Kevin was sitting up, resting against the headboard, and Johnny couldn't help but go back to the previous night in the car, when he had wanted Kevin inside him so badly. This was the next best thing, Johnny figured, and he straddled Kevin, allowing him to guide himself inside Johnny.

He let out a short involuntary breath, bracing himself against the headboard as Kevin entered him. Kevin pulled him in close, kissing the base of Johnny's throat. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Johnny answered roughly, wrapping his hand around the back of Kevin's neck. "Just a little sore still, that's all."

Kevin frowned slightly. "You take it as easy if you need to. And if you need to stop, say so."

"I will," Johnny assured him, settling himself and slowly getting going. Kevin let out a rough groan and dug his fingertips into Johnny's hips.

This was better than Johnny had imagined it would be out in the car, their bodies pressed so tightly together as every stroke seemed to hit that spot deep inside him, the soreness forgotten as the desire took over, both of them silent except for the sounds of their bodies coming together and their own breath.

"Johnny," Kevin's voice was a ragged whisper as he somehow held on more tightly, his breath warm against Johnny's neck before he unloaded deep inside Johnny.

Johnny wasn't far behind, releasing with a ragged sigh before he relaxed against Kevin, both of them still breathing heavily. Kevin's hands slid up Johnny's body, his arms wrapping tightly around him to hold him close. "So, that's what you wanted in the car, huh?"

"This was better," Johnny told him. "But hey, if we ever get another chance—"

Kevin cut him off with a kiss. "I'll be better prepared."

Johnny couldn't help laughing at that, capturing Kevin's mouth in another long, deep kiss. This all felt so right, and despite his earlier misgivings, Johnny didn't want this to end.

He pulled back slightly, scanning Kevin's face. Kevin regarded him with a curious expression. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Johnny answered. "I just…well, I don't normally do this. And now I've done it twice with one person and…"

He trailed off, realizing how ridiculous he sounded. What was happening? Maybe he should just get out of here and save himself any further embarrassment.

"Johnny," Kevin responded patiently, "I understand. I can count the number of guys I've had stay the night on one hand. I don't usually do this, either."

"Don't get me wrong, I like it," Johnny let out a huff. "I just don't get what's happening."

Kevin laughed quietly, letting his hands rest on Johnny's hips. "Well, you, like me, had some hot morning sex and it's messing with your head."

"You might have a point there."

Kevin smiled, leaning toward Johnny to kiss him gently. The kiss quickly grew deeper, and they were once again wrapped up around each other, neither one of them willing to let go.

Finally, Kevin pulled back with a sigh. "As much as I'd love to stay in bed with you all day, I could use some coffee."

Johnny reluctantly climbed off Kevin and flopped back down on the bed while Kevin got up. "You can shower if you want. I'll start up the dryer again. I'd hate to send you home in wrinkled clothes."

"Doesn't matter to me."

"It matters to me," Kevin's voice rang out from the hallway. "Let me be a good host, will you?"

"Fine," Johnny called back, letting out one more long sigh before rolling off the bed and heading toward the bathroom. He started the water and stepped under the warm spray, letting the steam envelop him as he cleaned up.

Kevin joined him not long after, briefly kissing him on the back of his neck before taking the washcloth and rubbing it over Johnny's back. "Dryer's going and coffee's started. If you want something to eat, I can put something together when I get out."

"You don't have to."

"Not what I said," Kevin countered.

Johnny didn't know how to respond to that, and so he simply ducked under the water to rinse himself off before stepping out and toweling off, tucking the towel around his waist.

It was all a little too domestic for his liking, something more akin to a morning at Roy's and Joanne's on the few occasions he'd stayed there to recover from some injury or another over the years. Never did he ever imagine himself in the same scenario.

Still, this wasn't a terrible way to spend a morning. Not that he was in any rush to make more of this than it was. The sex was good—no, better than that. More like incredible. But more than that, Johnny was starting to like Kevin, enough that he wanted to spend time with him outside the bedroom or wherever they ended up.

He didn't want to get too attached to Kevin. It hurt too much when those attachments inevitably broke. Look what had happened to him and Roy. Once Roy had taken that captain's post and moved to another station, they had started to drift apart. And that was with someone Johnny logically knew he had no chance with.

That didn't make it hurt any less.

Was he trying to replace Roy somehow? That hadn't occurred to him. He was too caught up in the physical aspects to consider that. The thought made his stomach lurch a little.

No, this was ridiculous. Roy had never shown a lick of interest in him, not in that way. The interest was purely one-sided, Johnny realized that early on. But it didn't matter that much, really. As long as he got to work alongside Roy and spend time with him and his family outside of work, that was enough. It was enough to be embraced as a member of their family, to be close enough to be called 'uncle' by the kids.

The feel of a set of hands on his shoulders jolted him out of his thoughts, and he realized he'd been staring at the coffeemaker for God knew how long.

"Dryer should be done before too long," Kevin told him as he opened the refrigerator and started gathering items. "I suppose I'll put something together for breakfast in the meantime. Do you want some?"

Johnny tried to sound casual. "Sure, since you're already doing it for yourself. Where's your coffee cups?"

"Cabinet above the coffeemaker."

Johnny found a pair of mugs and set them on the counter. "Nothing in yours, right?"

Kevin regarded him curiously as he crossed from the refrigerator to the stove. "Right."

Johnny filled the mugs and set one next to where Kevin was working at the stove before rounding the end of the counter to sit on one of the stools.

Kevin flashed him a quick smile before taking a drink of his coffee. "Feels like we've been here before."

"Uh, yeah," Johnny answered, feeling himself heat up. "A little weird that it's happened twice."

Kevin shrugged as he laid a few strips of bacon in the pan. "Could become a regular occurrence if you wanted."

And there it was again, that tightening in his chest at the thought. His reaction must have shown on his face, because Kevin frowned slightly before shrugging. "Or not."

Great, he was really putting his foot in it now. "No, I didn't mean…it's just, well, you know, I don't wanna get too attached, you know?"

Kevin nodded and smiled ever so slightly. "I suppose I am getting a little ahead of myself."

"It's that wild morning sex," Johnny commented in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Messes with your head."

"That must be it," Kevin responded lightly.

The dryer buzzed, and Johnny took the opportunity to grab his clothes and get dressed. By the time he returned, Kevin had started the eggs and was putting bread in the toaster.

"I set your stuff on top of the dryer," Johnny told him.

"Perfect. I'll fold it up later," Kevin responded with a slight smile. "That's a nice color on you. Same one you wore in San Francisco, if I remember correctly."

Was it? Johnny had no idea. "Maybe. I don't really pay attention to that stuff."

Soon breakfast was ready and both of them were sitting at the counter. Kevin kept glancing over at Johnny as if he wanted to say something. It set Johnny on edge.

"What?" He finally asked in exasperation.

Kevin looked baffled. "What do you mean, 'what'?"

"You keep looking at me as if you wanna say something," Johnny told him. "If you've got something to say, you should just say it."

Kevin seemed to consider that before setting his fork down and taking a drink of coffee. "Just thinking. You know, when you said you didn't want to get too attached."

Johnny regretted saying that now. "Well, I mean, you know how it goes. You get too attached to someone, and things don't work out for whatever reason, or something changes…forget it. It was dumb. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Are we still talking about us?" Kevin asked gently.

Johnny didn't want to answer that. No point, honestly. It seemed Kevin already knew the answer.

Suddenly Kevin's hand was on his, grasping gently. "When I told you we can keep this casual, I meant it."

"I know that," Johnny answered more sharply than he intended.

Kevin pulled back and took another drink of coffee. "Then there's no problem."

Johnny found himself getting agitated for no good reason. "What—I…I never said there was a problem."

Kevin looked at him with a mixture of amusement and confusion. "Okay."

"Okay," Johnny repeated, pushing his eggs around the plate. God, why was this so damn hard? Why couldn't he just come out and tell Kevin what he was thinking?

Finally, he let out a huff. He couldn't bring himself to look at Kevin just yet. "I do like you. I do. But if we do, you know, start to get to know each other and spend more time together…well, maybe there'll come a time when you won't want to anymore."

There it was. He'd come right out and said it.

There was a long pause before Kevin responded. "Sure, that could happen. Same could be true for you. Maybe you'll decide you don't like me that much anymore."

Johnny looked up, utterly confused. That hadn't occurred to him. "What're you talking about?"

Kevin merely looked amused. "Oh, what, like I'm so wonderful that you couldn't possibly get sick of me?"

"Well, I don't know."

"Exactly," Kevin looked extraordinarily pleased with himself. "All the more reason to keep it casual."

Now Johnny really didn't know what to think. This whole conversation was baffling. "Right."

Kevin's smile grew wider as he finished his coffee and slid down from the stool. He stopped to kiss Johnny's cheek. "I know you don't believe me right now, but there's a million ways to be with someone. It doesn't always have to be serious."

Johnny shrugged, trying to be casual. "I mean, hey, as long as I keep getting laid, it sounds like a pretty good deal to me."

Kevin laughed out loud at that. "That is one thing you can count on. I can't imagine ever getting sick of that."

Johnny could feel his face heat up, slightly embarrassed at his own words. At least Kevin seemed to take it well.

"Are you done?" Kevin asked. "I was going to start dishes."

"I can do them," Johnny slid down off the stool. "Seems like the least I can do."

"You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to," Johnny told him. "I don't mind. Really."

Kevin seemed to consider that before nodding. "I'll leave you to it."

He poured himself and Johnny another cup of coffee, and they chatted while Johnny cleaned up. This was easier, and by the time Johnny was done, he felt a little better about things.

"Man, you must think I'm some kind of idiot," Johnny told him as he drained the sink and rinsed it out. "Going on and on like that."

"I don't think you're an idiot," Kevin assured him.

"You might think so once you get to know me a little better," Johnny answered lightly.

"I doubt it," Kevin replied with a smile. "But I'll reserve judgment if you want."

Johnny couldn't help laughing at that as he wiped off his hands. "Probably a smart thing to do."

He took a deep breath and exhaled as he leaned on the counter. "Suppose I'll get going."

"Okay."

Johnny dug out his keys and found his jacket before pulling Kevin in close. "I'll call you. This time I mean it. We'll figure out a time and place to take a hike or something."

"That sounds good," Kevin answered, kissing Johnny lightly. "I'll look forward to it."

Johnny released him and headed out to the Rover, climbing in and starting it up. It was going to be okay. He'd blurted out a bunch of ridiculous words and Kevin had barely batted an eyelash, though it was obvious he was a little confused.

Hell, Johnny was a little confused himself. Kevin had him all kinds of turned around. If this is what it felt like to—

No, he wasn't going to think about that. Keep it casual. Yeah, they'd keep it casual. As long as they did that, everything would be just fine. No problem. No problem at all.

At least, that's what Johnny would keep telling himself.