AN: My thanks to Sparky She Demon for letting me borrow a certain character!

Sophie was utterly miserable.

Oh, she had her son, if anything Adam was the only thing that was keeping her sane. He was such a darling little thing, and she never tired of sitting in a chair and reading him a story. He recognized some of the words, although the only word he knew for certain was "Mama". Zachary had been quite put out that his first word hadn't referred to him, but Sophie hardly cared.

He was her darling boy, and Zachary could do nothing about that.

He could do anything else though, and Sophie hated him for it. She hated him for keeping her inside, she hated him for leaving the paper in her sitting room every morning, always opened to the coverage of the Lusitania. He seemed to enjoy reading her every bit of nasty coverage, in fact he reveled in the Vanderbilt's loss.

The papers were the only way that Sophie could keep up with what was going on, and she knew she was woefully behind on the gossip. There were some things even gossip columns wouldn't print. So, she spent most of her days sighing over the papers, babying Adam, and hoping that Zachary didn't come to her bed that night.

It was a nice change when Zachary told her to wear something nice to dinner, for his parents would be visiting and they would have a guest.

Sophie took a good deal of time that day preparing, for she had to feed Adam early and get him settled before she could dress. It took more time than Zachary would have preferred, and the entire family was already in the parlor when she stumbled downstairs in her rich pink Worth gown with its ruffled train.

It was entirely inappropriate for a family dinner, as were the dark rubies she wore, but Zachary would have thrown a fit if she hadn't dressed as if she was going to the Kaiser's court.

It made things far easier if she just wore the dress and smiled simply as the guest bowed over her hand. He was a relatively handsome young man, brown haired with eyes to match. Henry wrinkled his nose at the uniform their guest, Lieutenant Roland Lethbridge, was wearing though. Instead of the usual dress blues, Roland was wearing a khaki uniform that wasn't as formal as Henry seemed to have expected.

Sophie wished she could have gotten away with that.

In this dress her corset was so tight that she had to slowly eat her dinner, which was less than what was on everyone else's plate. Zachary didn't like that she had gained weight after Ruth had started her eating again, so she ate smaller meals to try and lose it. The corset helped somewhat, although this tight it had a tendency to give her nausea if she ate to fast.

Listening to the dinner conversation helped distract her though, for it was actually somewhat interesting. Lieutenant Lethbridge had come up from Washington to discuss a possible contract to move equipment and supplies up to the Navy Yard near the city.

Henry was quite clearly angling for the contract, shaking his head after loudly yelling at a footman for not bringing the correct wine to go with the steaks. "My apologies, honestly, sometimes these servants drive me mad. I'll have him thrown out later."

Roland pursed his lips, "It's really no problem, I actually quite enjoy this wine."

"Still, I wouldn't want you to think that we're insulting you." Henry chuckled, making Samantha titter. "You're a most welcome guest."

"It seems that it's been that way in most of the city." Roland chuckled, "The yard here practically threw a party for me."

Sophie perked up at that, forgoing chasing her peas around her plate. "Oh, how lovely! I'm sure you must have had a good time."

"Indeed," Roland gave her a smile, "An old friend of mine from the Academy works there, it was wonderful to catch up with him."

"I hope you told him to come calling," Zachary raised an eyebrow, "We can offer them a better contract than the one they have."

"I mentioned I was calling on your family." Roland nodded to them all, lingering on Sophie. "He said he dearly wished his duties allowed him some time away, but alas, he's rather tied up at the moment. But he sends his regards to you all."

"How kind," Samantha gestured for a footman to refill her glass. "I trust you enjoyed your trip around our docks?" That led into a discussion about their ships, which Roland praised. Sophie dearly wished she could get him alone and ask him how Morris was. He had to have seen him if he had been at the Brooklyn Yard.

But Henry and Zachary seemed to feel that if they left their guest alone for more than thirty seconds Roland, and his valuable contract, would vanish into the ether. They constantly flattered him and made sure that he had the best of everything. The only thing Zachary disagreed with was when Roland was given a certain cigar. Zachary's face was screwed up as he turned to his father, "Du lässt ihn doch nicht rauchen, oder? Das wollte ich haben!"

Henry glared at his son, "Von mir aus kann er ein Dutzend rauchen. Wir können so viele kaufen, wie Sie möchten, wenn er bei uns unterschreibt."

Roland looked blandly out at all of them, smiling as he puffed away at the cigar. "This is wonderful, by the way."

"We've been saving it for a guest worthy of it." Henry gave Zachary one last look, then turned his gaze fully to Roland. "Now, should I get the papers out now?"

Roland shrugged, "Unfortunately, I've only been sent to feel things out. My commander will make the final decision." He leaned forward, winking. "But trust me, I'll put in a good word for you."

Zachary leaned back in his chair, his arm reaching out to lay across Sophie's shoulders. "Well, we would certainly appreciate it."

It took everything she had to not shiver at his touch, and she felt her eyes well briefly. His touch repulsed her, and the only man who she wanted touching her wasn't here. And she didn't even know if she would see him again. She pressed her fingers to her eyes, "Excuse me, I need a moment."

She felt Zachary make a grab for her sleeve, but she brushed past him. She could hear him as she stepped out, "I'm sorry about her, she's still not fully recovered from the birth of our son last year."

"Not a problem," Roland sounded a bit concerned, "My wife gets like that, we had our first last month. If you wouldn't mind, I could go handle her and we could both come back in a minute."

Sophie had made it to the door, slipping out into the hallway even as she heard Roland's footsteps following. She leaned against a wall, taking as deep a breath as her corset would allow. She kept her eyes shut, "I'll be fine in a moment."

"I'm sure you will." Roland sounded far kinder than he had during dinner and cigars. "I have something that might help."

Sophie watched as he dipped a hand into his pocket, coming out with an envelope. It was unaddressed, plain and rather crumpled from being shoved into a pocket. "Von einem gemeinsamen Freund." He muttered, pressing the envelope into her hand. Sophie's heart galloped in her chest. He knew German, and spoke it far better than Zachary or Henry, and this mutual friend, it had to be Morris!

She hastily shoved the letter into the small pocket of her gown. "Thank you."

"He speaks very highly of you," Roland shifted, keeping an eye on the door and keeping his voice low. "He misses you, is there anything you want me to tell him?"

"That I'm trapped!" Sophie almost flung herself at him. "Zachary won't let me leave the house, but I want to! I want to see him; I still care for him." She drew a shuddering breath, "Morris is the only man I actually care for in that way."

Roland patted her shoulder, "I'll tell him, he was glad to at least write to you. I'm still in town for a few more days, up to a week. We can figure out some way for you two to at least trade letters."

"Thank you." Sophie nodded, letting him escort her back into the room. She was the perfect hostess after, apologizing for her outburst and her womanly emotions. She chatted brainlessly with Samantha while the men talked business, even securing a rare chance out to go shopping. When the men's talk turned to the war, she didn't bring up her brothers or Anastasia. She giggled when they talked about Britain's efforts, and did her best to look proud when Zachary and Henry spoke highly of Germany.

She must have done too well though, because after Henry and Samantha had seen their guest off and returned to their own house, Zachary caught her from behind. He pressed a kiss to her temple, his hands pressing her tight to him. "You were wonderful tonight."

"Thank you." She muttered, trying to ignore the part of him that was beginning to press into her. "I can't wait to go shopping with your mother."

"Just don't spend too much." He muttered, bringing a hand up to trace over her breast. "Come to my bed tonight."

She shivered, ducking her head. "It's not a good time for that."

His touch turned cruel, digging into her. "It seems like it's never a good time."

"The doctor says I should resume my normal courses soon." She cringed away from his hand. "It's only because Adam affected me so. I'll be better once that settles."

"It had better settle sooner rather than later." Zachary growled, stepping back. "I'll be heading up then." She did her best to look downcast as she headed to her own rooms, sending her maids away after Rebecca brought Adam to her for a late-night cuddle. He was still sleepy as she nuzzled him, and Rebecca smiled to see them.

"Could you take him?" Sophie handed him back over, "I'll need you to stay for a moment."

Rebecca nodded, rocking Adam in her arms as Sophie went to a chair and turned on a lamp. She slit the envelope with a fingernail, shaking out the letter. It was short, but she hardly cared.

Sophie,

Forgive me for my brevity, I wish I had more time to write this. But Roland is waiting, and I hardly have time to think let alone write. I haven't seen you in the papers, and Mrs. Murdoch isn't around to let me know how you are. I hope you are well; I miss you. I promise that we'll see each other again.

Sealed with a kiss,

Morris

Sophie barely caught the sob in her throat, doubling over. Rebecca noticed, after all it was rather obvious, and came to sit by her. "Is that from your man?"

She sat up in a panic, clutching the letter to her. "Man? No, what man? It's, it's from Otto."

Rebecca snorted, "I don't buy that for a moment, otherwise you'd have opened it downstairs. Now, I'm no fool, ma'am. A lady doesn't just run down to Florida for a week for her health, you came back far too improved for it to have just been the air."

"What do you want?" Sophie's voice was cold. "Money? I can pay you, just don't tell."

"I get paid well enough." Rebecca shrugged, "But I'm tired of seeing you so unhappy all the time, it's not good for the boy to see his mother like that." She snorted, "Not to mention his father. The maids live in terror of him you know, he has wandering hands."

Sophie blinked, "Zachary?"

"Apparently his father's worse." She chuckled, "So, if you're having one over on him, I'm all glad to help."

Sophie relaxed her death grip on the letter, "It is from my man, as you put it. We haven't been able to see each other since Anastasia left, she was helping us. This is the first word I've had from him in a while."

"Let me have it." Rebecca held out her hand. "I'll keep it safe; he won't think to go looking in my things. And we can work out some way to pass letters between you two, no one notices a maid crossing paths with a man while on errands."

Sophie almost collapsed on her in a hug, barely avoiding crushing Adam between them. "Oh, thank you, thank you!"

"Just don't make it too complicated for me, I'm not going to be aiding and abetting him kidnapping you."

In search of a bit of normalcy the next day, Will had swept the paper off the dining table and replaced it with a number of books from his small office. Some of them were on naval theory or history, and Ana gravitated towards those when she same down. He contented himself with a mystery, joining her in the parlor.

He had hidden his poetry books in the desk, he did not want to get Ana all riled up.

Rigel was obviously glad to have the both of them around, for he kept trying to join them on the settee. Ana reached down to pet him absentmindedly, leaving Will to suffer from the wagging tail that smacked into his knees over and over. But he couldn't be mad, because for once everything seemed peaceful and Ana wasn't trying to drag him off to bed. She simply leaned on him, scratched her dog, and read.

Until Rigel hurled himself to the door, barking like mad.

Will followed, fully prepared to tell Campbell to shove off, when he peeked through the curtain. He could see Abraham and Ezekiel standing on his porch, shifting and glancing around as they waited. He smiled at that; Ana would be glad to have friends. He twisted the knob, "Abraham, Ezekiel, welcome."

Ezekiel immediately shoved past him, but Abe paused to shake his hand. "Captain Murdoch, I'm given to understand. It's good to see you again, William."

"Likewise." Will stepped back to allow the both of them to walk to the parlor. "I hope this isn't delaying you."

Abe shook his head. "We got in last night, that fool son of mine thought he could get here sooner if he pushed his engines and almost blew a boiler. As it was, I had to haul alongside and send him coal, we both limped in late."

"At least you're here." Will smirked at the way Ezekiel was glaring at Ana, who was determinedly reading her book and ignoring him. "Ana has been settling in quite nicely."

"She won't be settling in for long." Ezekiel grumbled, then leaned over and plucked Ana's book from her hands. "I fucking told you!"

Abe crossed the room in two steps, his hand smacking the back of his son's head with more noise than actual force. "Language! There's better way to phrase that than cursing at her." He pursed his lips, looking down to Ana. "You put your mother, and me, through hell. Again."

Ezekiel snorted as his father ignored his own advice, rubbing the back of his head as he sat next to Ana. "Ah, yes, guilt that's the right idea, Father." He took Ana's hand, "Do you have any idea how worried all of us were?"

Ana looked away, "Zeke, stop it."

"I almost blew a boiler trying to get here as soon as I got the wire about the sinking. I didn't learn you were alive until we got in last night. I thought you were dead." He drew a shuddering breath, and Will felt a pang of sympathy. He knew the feeling. "You know you're my sister, and I love you, but right now I just want to shake you until you see sense."

"Son, that's enough." Abe warned, sitting down in one of the parlor chairs. "She's been through an ordeal, and looks it."

Ana glanced up at that, worrying her lip. "I never wanted to cause you worry, you both know that."

"You caused us worry the second you bought that ticket." Ezekiel snapped, "And you'll be coming back with me, I've already given orders for my cabin to be turned over for you."

Ana snorted, "Zeke, I'm staying."

"For a few weeks, right?" Abe cocked his head, "Everyone back home is going to be glad to see you again."

"I've asked Ana to stay here until the war is over." Will cut in, seeing how Ana was almost squirming on the settee. "It's safer for her here than trying to cross again, and when the war is finished there won't be any U-boats to worry about."

"You can't do that." Ezekiel stood; his fists balled at his sides. "You can't force her to stay!"

"Zeke!" Ana snapped; her voice more alive than Will had heard in days. "He's not forcing me; I'm staying of my own free will." Will watched as her eyes grew a bit distant though, and rather bright. "You remember what I was like before, I can't go back to that."

Ezekiel sighed, falling back onto the settee. "Annie, please. Just, next month? How about I let you have a moth here and you come home?"

"Zeke, no." Ana reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. "But I'll be here, you can see me every time you come in."

Will watched the younger man bring his hand up to squeeze Ana's, "I'll take your letters to your mother, and bring hers to you. Just, just be safe about this, Annie. None of us want to see you come to harm."

"Indeed," Abraham nodded at seeing his son calm down. "Although I worry about you under these conditions. I'll set aside some room on each crossing to bring over some food. I'm sure your mother will want to have some trunks packed to send some of your things." He glanced to Will, "I have to admit, I'd be more comfortable if you both moved out of the city. I'm sure there's a country house for sale, it would be safer. Zeppelins and aeroplanes won't bomb those."

Will had to admit the idea sounded nice, having Ana tucked away in the country where she could be safe. She'd be happier in a larger house, with enough room for all her new clothes and a staff to cook and clean for her. Will could see her hosting charity balls, getting money out of the nobility to fund hospitals and the like. But Ana shook her head, "I'm staying here, Abe. Southampton isn't London or Portsmouth. The Germans will bomb Parliament or navy yards, not civilians."

"They already shelled civilians." Ezekiel grumbled.

That got him a glare from Will. "Southampton is much more protected." Ezekiel flinched, and Will softened his tone. "If there is a chance though, she can go up to Scotland with my family. They'd be glad to have her."

Abe sighed, "There it is, then." He stood, gesturing for Ezekiel to follow him. "We'll expect you at the offices tomorrow, Welton asked us to have you come down."

"I'll be there." Ana hugged the both of them, and she stepped into Will's arms after they left. "I'm not leaving you Will, even if Mother comes and tries to haul me away."

He held her tight to him. "And I love you for that." Will leaned back slightly, brushing his thumb across her cheek. "What did you mean when you told Ezekiel you didn't want to be like that again?"

Her eyes widened, her lip quivering slightly. "Will, I-" He could see tears in her eyes, and she looked away as she wiped at them.

"Please Ana, tell me." He guided her over to the settee, "Tell me."

She shuddered, but nodded. "After you left, Will, I could barely get out of bed." She looked down to her hands. "I was so miserable, and I worried about you so much. I didn't eat, I drank too much, I just wanted you back."

Will pulled her close again, his stomach twisting in guilt. "Oh, Ana, love." He had figured she would be distressed, but nothing like that.

"But then I was pregnant." She had her head buried in his chest, and at her words, he froze. "Or at least I thought I was. I was happier, I thought you would be so happy if I wrote you I was having your baby that you'd come home. Or at least ask me to come over. But then I wasn't, I was bleeding and there was no baby and I couldn't stand it anymore. I lived with Mother for a while, because I couldn't be alone anymore."

Will's heart was hammering as he cursed himself as the worst husband there ever had been. "Ana, you miscarried? And I wasn't there?"

"Oh," She sat up, her hands on his face as she spoke quickly. "Oh no, I wasn't pregnant. I was just late, but I wanted so badly to be, and I thought that what I had done made me lose it. But Mother said I was just affecting my monthly with my worry over you, and she was right. There was no baby, just me getting my hopes up."

He could see it all so clearly, Ana crying as she realized that she wasn't pregnant. All the happiness she had felt, all of her hopes, gone. And she was alone, all because he felt he had to go fight a war. But, a moment of confusion was better than her actually losing a child. Will let out a breath, tension draining out of him like water out of a tap. "You didn't mention any of this in your letters."

"I didn't want you to worry." Ana glanced away, "You already had so much to do, and I would only make it worse."

Will wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry you were alone for all of that." Ana sniffled, and he squeezed her. "If it makes you feel any better, I was miserable too."

She gave a rather sad chuckle, "And you never mentioned that in your letters."

"I didn't want to worry you." He shrugged, "My captain hated me for being a reservist, and his officers took him as an example to follow." Ana drew back, her nose wrinkling as she furrowed her brow. "I made friends with the juniors; I helped them become better sailors. They were all glad to have me when that U-boat showed up."

Ana's fingers drifted up to his chest, tracing over his scar through his shirt. "And after?"

"The captain had me confined and brought before a court martial." He took her hand, twining his fingers around hers. "But I came out on top in the end, we both did." She leaned her head back against him, and he pressed a kiss to her hair. "You know what Lights said to me while we were out by the car with the boys?"

"What?"

"'What the bloody hell died on your upper lip? If I'd have known you were doing that, I would have done the same so you could see how stupid you look!'" He did his best to impersonate his friend, drawing a round of laughter from his wife that left her gasping for breath.

She was still giggling as she sat up, brushing her fingers over his mustache. "You don't look stupid."

"You said I did!"

"I said silly!" She clapped her hands over her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. The expression suited her much better than her previous misery. "I would never say you look stupid."

Will rubbed his hand over the troublesome facial hair, "I'm going to go shave." He stood, smiling down at Ana. "But promise me one thing?"

She gazed up at him, devotion shining out of her eyes. "Anything."

"We will never lie to each other again, even if it's to make the other feel better." He leaned down, drawing her head to his. "We will always be honest with each other, no more secrets. Can you promise me that?"

"Of course, Will." Ana's breath was gentle against his face. "If you promise the same."

"Of course, Ana." He rubbed his nose against hers. "And when I come back down, we will sit and talk about the Lusitania. You don't have to write, I can write, but you will get it all out of you."

He felt her nod gently against him. "I will, but after Will, you are going to fuck me until I cannot move, until I can't remember what I told you."

"I can do that." He muttered, kissing her. "Now, let me go get this dead beast off my face."