A/N: Apologies for missing last week's update, I was traveling and didn't have much time to write. Here's an extra long (and kind of juicy!) chapter to compensate 3
Disclaimer: not mine!
Iroh, cont.
Ursa's injury had two immediate effects. First, it shortened the planned Autumn Festival journey, allowing us to skip several mainland cities after Ningzhou and focus only on the strategically important stops, places with dense populations or military relevance. Second, it brought us literally closer together. After Ningzhou, I regularly spent nights with Ursa, so she could sleep as close to me as needed to keep the nightmares away. Her favorite way to fall asleep was by feeling my heartbeat, with her head on my chest or her fingers resting against my pulse. I remember that because she falls asleep the same way now as well; although the war ended two years ago, its nightmares remain.
You'd think, reader, that this meant our marriage was in a better place. Alas, what should have been a step towards greater intimacy for us had been tainted by Tiron and his debauchery, leaving me unsure of how to interpret our newfound closeness. Eventually, I reasoned that this was merely a coping mechanism on her part: she had experienced something traumatic, she felt vulnerable, and so she sought out my presence for protection and comfort. The ache it put in my chest to wake in bed with her each morning, a brief moment where I could pretend my wife actually returned my affection, was nothing compared to the pain she was battling. So, I simply ignored it.
But such emotional turmoil can only last for so long without demanding to be resolved. In my circumstances, it lasted about one week after Ningzhou, making it through two mainland cities before deciding to surface at our first island. And as it has done for others since time immemorial, Ember Island stripped my soul bare.
Ember Island was, in Iroh's opinion, a wonderful summer resort but not his favorite Autumn Festival stop. Its air was still heavy with moisture; not as much as in the peak of summer, but enough that he wondered if the spirits of the island were aware it was autumn. Its beaches were closed for the season, meaning half the fun of the place was gone. Its nobles, including their host Governor Mushu, were unabashedly eager for royal attention, making it difficult for him to enjoy the festivities. And, his most recent reason to dislike the island: Ursa had gotten seasick during the voyage here.
What Iroh did like about Ember Island was that rather than hosting a structured dinner with a show like most places, Governor Mushu held a more casual walk-and-talk style of dinner party in the center of town with food stations and servers circulating so guests could socialize as they pleased. Iroh also had a lot of good memories here of trips to the beach with his friends; including Korzu, who was hovering at the outskirts of the party in case Ursa needed medical assistance. Plus, now that Iroh had an actress for a wife, he was very grateful for the Ember Island Players.
Most importantly, Iroh was always grateful for ice cream, and he suspected Ursa would be too after her bout with seasickness. "Here," he walked her to the ice cream station once they'd chatted with everyone of importance. "Ice cream. An Ember Island specialty."
"This is ice cream?" The various serving dishes displayed a rainbow of the enticing confection, their temperature maintained by the cool metal iceboxes beneath them. "I was picturing...well, ice and cream, which sounds stupid now that I'm saying it," she laughed a bit hoarsely, before coughing. Iroh made a mental note to have her rest her voice soon; her vocal cords had recovered significantly since Ningzhou, but they definitely weren't back to normal.
"Oh, it's much better than ice and cream," he said out loud. "You should try some."
"Which color do I pick?"
A serving boy dutifully rattled off the options in response to Ursa's question. Iroh's personal favorite was lychee, but he wasn't surprised when she immediately selected mango. He still remembered how eagerly she'd doven into the mango sticky rice at that inn before Hira'a: the slices of mango dripping their juices onto her palms, down her slender wrists, trickling a tempting trail towards her forearms…
Perhaps ice cream wasn't the best idea. Iroh knew he was in trouble when she brought a spoonful to her lips and moaned in delight. "This is amazing!"
"Ember Island's best, Princess," the boy replied, shooting Iroh a nervous glance. "Would you like anything, Your Highness?"
"None for me, thank you."
"You're not taking any?" Ursa asked as she carefully picked up her bowl one-handed. "I thought you like this."
"I do, but…" he trailed off, glancing at her limp, bandaged arm. Ursa couldn't hold her bowl of ice cream and eat at the same time. He wanted to make sure he could help her if needed.
"Oh." The slight droop of her mouth made his heart clench. "Iroh, I can manage."
"I don't mind."
"We can at least share." Before he could protest, she was asking the server for another scoop of ice cream and a second spoon. "Here. Make yourself useful and hold this for both of us."
Arguing with the playful sparkle in her eyes was hard; he did like ice cream, and it was exclusive to Ember Island. He accepted the bowl with a smile and took his own spoonful. It melted in his mouth readily, sweet mango and delicate cream in perfect harmony.
"How is this made?" Ursa asked the server. "I've never seen it before. How is it kept so soft and cold at the same time?"
The boy answered her question with a well-rehearsed speech about the process of churning and storing ice cream, and the unique offerings of Ember Island that made it possible to create the dessert in large batches here, but Iroh was hardly listening. He was watching Ursa spoon more ice cream into her mouth and thinking that he really shouldn't have gotten her a dessert with this much licking-
"Fascinating." Ursa interrupted his dangerous train of thought. "Thank you so much for telling me. What's your name?"
"I'm Skai, my lady."
The boy looked nervous as he replied, no doubt fearing his name was being collected as part of some complaint. But Ursa simply told him, "Skai, you are a credit to your island. I'll try and mention it to your governor here before I go."
"Th-thank you, Princess," Skai stammered, bobbing in a quick half-bow. Ursa turned away, smiling at Iroh as she scooped another spoonful of ice cream from the bowl in his hand.
"Do you want to sit somewhere so you can finish this and rest your voice?" he asked.
"This is actually helping my throat feel better, but some quiet would be nice." She leaned in to whisper, "Ember Island is definitely our loudest stop so far."
Ignoring the little shiver from her breath on his ear, he steered her through the crowd, smartly weaving around servers and waving away nobles with excuses until he found what he was looking for: a bench just outside the party, hidden around the corner of a sweetshop.
Ursa sat with a sigh, holding a finger to her lips to signal she would be silent for a bit. Iroh was content to sit next to her and hold her ice cream, only taking a spoonful for himself whenever she waved for him to do so. There was something about quietly sharing a dessert on the outskirts of such a large gathering that made everything feel more…intimate.
"It's a good thing your father isn't here," she said softly, once she'd polished off the ice cream. "He'd be staring us down."
"I'm sure he'd make an exception for an injured princess."
"It's not even that I'm injured, honestly. I've never had great stamina for big gatherings like this, and it's worse when it's all strangers. I…don't have your gift for making friends. Life might be easier if I did."
"I think you're mistaking friendliness for people sucking up to me."
"No, I'm not. People suck up to me now too, but I don't charm them so quickly the way you do."
"I've had more practice. And why does it bother you whether or not you can 'charm' them?" Iroh asked, ignoring his urge to reply that she'd very easily charmed him.
Ursa was silent for a moment, watching the ocean in the distance. "I don't have many friends now," she said finally. "Not anymore…and maybe if I was better with talking to these nobles, I could find someone to call a friend, but…I'm not."
There was nothing he could really say to counter that. "I wish I could tell you that will change, but getting these people to like you doesn't make them your friends. Not with status like ours. But the nice thing is that when you do come across someone who is capable of being true friends with a royal - like Korzu and Piandao - it's a friendship that lasts."
"And what do you do when even your husband won't be your friend?" Ursa asked.
Iroh looked at her with a start.
"You've been different," she continued. "Since the attack and everything. First you were distant, then you were just serious, and now you're…you're so respectful you might as well be another servant. And you know I don't enjoy the servants hovering around me as it is."
"I…" Iroh didn't know how to respond to that. "I just feel like I can't be the way I was, Ursa. Not after Tiron, and how awful I was to you when we left Hira'a. All I'm trying to do is make it up to you."
"But all I want from you is to do as you promised. Treat me as your equal, and be honest. Be…be my friend."
"Is that something that's important to you?" he asked. "Friendship in a marriage?"
"My mother always said I shouldn't marry anyone I wouldn't want as a friend. My dad called her his prettiest friend," she recalled with a smile. "So, yes, it is important to me even if we are already married. You and I can be friends, can't we?"
"We can. We are. And you're definitely my prettiest friend, not that your competition is stiff."
"Come on, give Korzu and Piandao a little credit."
Iroh chuckled, but he wasn't quite at ease yet. "Well, as my honest friend, will you tell me one thing?"
"Of course."
"Have you forgiven me? For the fight, Ozai, everything that happened before Tiron? Think about it; don't just say yes because I've been acting differently since then. I want it to be real."
The moment she took to think seemed like the longest of Iroh's life. "I don't know," she said, the words like a cushioned punch to his gut. "I'm not really upset about it anymore, but at the same time, I'm having trouble separating out everything I feel about Tiron and the fight. It's all jumbled up together and thinking about it too much is-"
"I understand," Iroh said quickly, not liking the way her good hand had tightened in her lap. "I'm sorry I asked. I just wanted to know where I stood. Come on, do you want some more ice cream? Or, Ember Island makes an excellent spicy nut mix."
"Both sound delicious."
The party continued with Iroh and Ursa making small talk with nobles, sampling Ember Island's specialties, and ducking away for breaks in between. Even as Iroh pushed her to conserve her energy and her voice, he could tell it was a useless sentiment as her excitement for the Ember Island Players grew. The finale of the night was a special performance by the island's famed acting troupe, where the play they would be performing was kept secret as part of the fun. Iroh was the only one who knew what was coming: he just hoped Ursa wouldn't mind his being a little dishonest about it.
"I'm so excited," she told him, practically beaming as they slid into their front-and-center theater seats.
"I can tell. You've been practically shaking for the past hour. I figured it was either anticipation or the sugar from your fourth helping of ice cream."
"To be fair, they're not mutually exclusive. If it is the sugar though, I'll probably crash during the intermission."
"You can nap on my shoulder if that happens."
"Thank you. Now, when the curtains go up, shhh!" Her eyes twinkled as she held her finger to her lips.
"Yes, I know. I'm familiar with some theater etiquette, believe it or not." And I know how important this is to you.
Ursa rolled her eyes playfully before turning to chat with Korzu on her right. Iroh sat back, listening to his wife and his friend with a light heart. Korzu definitely had more of an appreciation for the dramatic arts than Iroh, who'd always preferred music over acting. Still, Iroh felt confident that he'd at least chosen a good play for her.
Soon enough, the director of the troupe strode out on stage. "Your Royal Highnesses, Prince Iroh and Princess Ursa, it is an honor to welcome you to our humble theater." She bowed, while Iroh and Ursa generously smiled and nodded. "I hope you find our performance to be an appropriate celebration of your recent marriage and this most auspicious Autumn Festival you have embarked on together. Ladies and gentlemen, The Ember Island Players proudly present our celebrated production of Love Amongst The Dragons!"
Next to him, Ursa gasped. "Oh, how lucky!" she whispered to Korzu, sheer joy bubbling from the words. "This one's my favorite."
Yes, Iroh had chosen well.
The play began, a thrilling romantic drama of the mighty Dragon Emperor condemned to live amongst the mortals by a dark water spirit and his Empress who followed him into the mortal world to help bring him back, her love for him never wavering.
"Dark water spirit!" The actor portraying the Dragon Emperor, a tall and tan young man with a commanding voice, perfectly embodied the role. "You shall rue the day you condemned the mighty Dragon Emperor to dwell amongst the mortals!"
"For as long as I live, as long as I have breath in my body, I will not rest until I have my vengeance upon you and restore my rightful place on the throne of dragons," Ursa mouthed the words along with the actor, watching with bright eyes that Iroh suddenly wished were looking at him so reverently.
"You're not being quiet," he teased. "And didn't you play the Empress, not the Emperor?"
"I know all the lines," she proudly informed him. "I learned the script forwards and backwards, to make sure I could be cast in even the smallest role. I never dreamed I would actually be the Empress."
The Empress, Iroh decided, was the most interesting character. Oddly, although she was already married to the Emperor at the beginning, their relationship was portrayed as rather one-sided: she adored him, while he merely tolerated her. Yet while he was exiled as a mortal, she devotedly followed him with her own mortal disguise, the two of them eventually learning to love each other properly without throne or immortality.
Why did the Empress love him so much, even when he had no power or prestige to offer her anymore? What was it like, to love and be loved so thoroughly? Iroh couldn't stop himself from glancing at Ursa - whose gaze was unerringly fixed on the stage like a woman in a trance - wondering if she'd considered those questions while preparing to portray the character.
The second half of the play drew Iroh in more than the first, depicting how the Dragon Emperor clawed his way back to his throne. The thrilling final battle with the dark water spirit, scored by bone-shaking drums, pulled Iroh to the edge of his seat; he'd never known how exciting a ribbon-dance fight could be. Finally, with name and honor restored, the Emperor reunited with his Empress in all his glory.
"Though I was trapped in the body of a mortal, you willingly gave me your heart," he told the Empress, holding the slender actress tenderly in his arms. "I cannot help but give you mine in return!"
"Only with your glory hidden in false form could you finally recognize my devotion!" The Empress replied, reaching up to cup her husband's masked face. The audience sent up a cheer as the reunited couple sealed their renewed love with a kiss. Iroh couldn't help applauding along as well.
A shuddering breath distracted him from the finale. He turned to see tears trickling out of Ursa's eyes.
"It's so beautiful," she said when she caught his concerned gaze. "I…I love this ending."
Something about these tears told him she wasn't just moved by the romance. As she wiped her face with her good hand, it occurred to him: she wasn't meeting his eyes.
"Ursa, do you need a moment?"
"No, I…I don't want to miss the curtain call. That would be disrespectful."
Still, as Ursa continued to inhale shakily and exhale with half-sobs, it was evident to him that she needed a break. Faster, he mentally urged the actors as they took turns elaborately bowing to both the audience and then specifically to the royal guests of honor. To her credit, Ursa remained graciously smiling and applauding through it all, passing her tears off well as simply being overwhelmed by the emotional ending.
Finally, the actors portraying the Dragon Emperor and Empress bowed together, and the curtains closed. Iroh wasted no time; leaning over to Korzu, he whispered, "Tell the director the princess needs a moment, and we'll be back shortly," before helping Ursa up and escorting her out of the theater, shielding her from the rest of the audience with his body.
"Balcony," she whispered once they were away from the crowd, pointing down the hallway. Iroh took the direction in stride, making sure the balcony was empty before ushering her out onto it and closing the door.
"Alright," he said. "We're alone."
Sighing, Ursa sank down onto the balcony steps, pulling her legs up in a very childish pose. "Thanks," she rasped, then buried her face in her knees as her shoulders began to shake with muffled sobs.
This wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting. "Ursa," he hesitantly lowered himself next to her, "what's wrong?"
She shook her head.
"Please?"
"You'll get upset," she replied, or at least that was what it sounded like she was trying to say.
"My wife's crying. I'm already upset."
Her eyes were all puffy as she peered at him. "Well, you'll get more upset."
"I promise I won't."
The way she dug her chin into her knees made him think she didn't believe him. "I'm trying very hard not to think about him," she whispered, "I really am, but…Ikem was the Dragon Emperor, when I was cast as the Empress."
Iroh had already suspected that, but it still took the breath out of his lungs to hear it confirmed. He hadn't considered Ikem's role, or how much it might upset her, when he'd chosen this play. "Oh."
"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just, one of the last scenes we rehearsed together was that final kiss, before…"
Before Iroh had shown up. "I understand," he said quietly. "I'm the one who should be apologizing to you, Ursa. I didn't think of how it might be difficult for you to watch Love Amongst The Dragons."
"What are you talking about?" She wiped her eyes. "The play was a secret. You couldn't have known."
"Um…" He cringed as he prepared to confess his own secret. "I actually did know."
"What?"
"I sort of asked the Ember Island Players to perform Love Amongst The Dragons for us since it's your favorite. But I didn't think it through, of course. I'm sorry."
"You picked the play?"
"Yes."
"For me?"
He nodded, embarrassed.
To his surprise, a smile lit up her tear-streaked face. "Iroh…thank you. That's really sweet. And I did enjoy most of it." She scooted closer to him and placed her good hand on his forearm. "Besides, I'm glad you got to see my favorite play. What did you think?"
"I thought it was marvelous," he said honestly. "Especially the Dragon Empress. I see why she was your dream role."
"I'm so glad you think so! People always dismiss her as passive or boring because of her love for the Emperor, but there's so much more to her than that. Love doesn't make her weak, either. It takes strength to care for and fight for someone the way she did: not in hope of reward or reciprocation, but because it's what's right."
Ursa's hand was still on his arm, and now he allowed himself to hesitantly brush his fingers across hers as she spoke so passionately. Thankfully, she didn't protest or pull away, instead steadily meeting his gaze with something in her sunshine eyes that made him want to hold her close like the Dragon Emperor had with his Empress on stage.
But this wasn't a play, and Iroh was no dragon.
"Well said," he replied, turning away. "Do you want to go back inside? After thanking the director and governor, we can duck out quickly and get some rest." Technically, Iroh had planned a few other things for her, but he didn't think they were worth it when she was clearly physically and emotionally worn out.
"That sounds good." She withdrew her hand, leaving him feeling oddly cold. "Thank you, Iroh. Really."
Unfortunately, his plan for a quick exit was foiled by the well-meaning director. "Oh! So, Your Highnesses don't want the tour anymore?" she asked, frowning in the overdramatic fashion of a seasoned actress.
"What tour?" Ursa asked, even as Iroh tried to signal the oblivious director to shut up.
"We were informed that you take a special interest in the performing arts, Princess Ursa, and would like to spend some time backstage touring our theater and learning its history," the director continued without heeding Iroh. "For example, did you know we're actually the oldest still-active theater troupe in the nation?"
"I didn't," Ursa said with clear interest. "I also didn't know there was a tour planned, or I certainly wouldn't be in such a hurry to leave." She frowned at Iroh.
"You seemed tired," he defended himself weakly. "I thought it would be better if we just turned in for the night and did this the next time we visited Ember Island."
"I have an idea, husband. Why don't you just ask me what I want to do?"
Point taken. "What would you like to do, my wife?"
"I would very much like to take the tour. Oh!" she gasped as a thought struck her. "Where's Korzu? He'll love this as well."
Korzu was summoned from where he'd been waiting at the theater's entrance, and Iroh watched as Ursa proceeded to whisper excitedly to his friend during the tour. I'm not jealous, he told himself. Korzu just knows more about theater than I do, and Ursa was just saying she wants a friend. It's good that she likes talking to him. She'll be less lonely, and more comfortable with him treating her. So, I'm not jealous.
Still, he was doing a poor job of convincing himself, as evidenced by Korzu dropping back while Ursa engaged in a spirited conversation with the Dragon Empress actress. "Why are you just staring at us instead of participating?" Korzu asked. "You planned this whole thing, and she's having a wonderful time. Talk to her."
"Not all of us are experts on the theater, Korzu."
"I'm hardly an expert: I know more than you but less than her. Don't get pissy with me because you don't know how to talk to your own wife."
Iroh debated the merits of firing Korzu from his temporary role as Autumn Festival physician; then again, that was probably exactly what his anti-social friend wanted. "I didn't ask you for relationship advice."
"Well, someone's got to give it to you." Without warning, Korzu shoved him in Ursa's direction.
"Ah, Prince Iroh," the director caught his awkward stumble. "If I may escort Your Highnesses in the final part of the tour?"
"Of course," he said quickly, hoping he didn't look as embarrassed as he felt.
"It's already the final part? Oh, I wish I could spend a whole day just here." Ursa's proclamation was cut off by a yawn.
"I'm honored to hear you say so, Princess. This right here is our prop room," the director pushed a backstage door open, "with a special gift for you."
"A gift?" Clearly curious, Ursa followed the director to the table at the center of the room, before letting out a gasp. "Oh, wow!"
Iroh already knew what was there, so he allowed himself to simply enjoy Ursa's delighted smile. Her eyes shone as she picked up the blue mask that marked the dark water spirit.
"I always liked this mask best," she said. "Even though it's for the antagonist in Love Amongst The Dragons, it can become so many other characters."
"What character would you make it?" Iroh asked.
Mischievously, she held the mask over her face, vanishing into the guise. "The Blue Spirit," she said in a low, gravelly voice, "the scourge of the Fire Nation's ruthless and faithless."
"I'm not familiar with that character, Princess. Is it from a royal play?" The director asked politely.
"It's more of a legend from my home." Ursa lowered the mask, her glowing smile remaining as she surveyed the other masks on the table: a complete collection of the characters from Love Amongst The Dragons. "But you're saying these are for me? Don't you all need them?"
"Not at all. These were handmade especially for your visit here on Prince Iroh's orders. The palm tree wood used to create them gives them a unique scent and lightness unlike those sculpted on the mainland, making them highly sought after among fans of the theater. We rarely grant requests from outsiders to take them as gifts, but of course, it's a privilege to prepare a set for the royal family." The director bowed. "I hope you find them to your liking."
"Absolutely. They're perfect. What you're saying about the palm wood makes sense: it really is a unique touch." Ursa ran her thumb lightly along the bottom of the Dragon Emperor's red mask. "I'm impressed by how quickly you all put this together. The show, the tour, the masks…it's all been so wonderful."
"Please, Princess, we had plenty of time. We normally don't select the show for the Autumn Festival until the governor receives approval for his plans from the palace anyway."
Ursa looked up from the masks with brief surprise that she quickly hid away. "You mean to say my husband requested all of this…back when the palace was still approving Autumn Festival plans?"
"Yes. Well, except the masks. That request came maybe a week before the festival began, but it was still hardly a rush job. And Prince Iroh made it clear it was an important gift for his new bride," the director added with a coy smile. It was evident the woman thought she was being helpful, but Iroh was very tempted to order her to stop talking. Hadn't she ever heard the term 'discretion?'
"I see," Ursa replied. "Well, you all did a wonderful job keeping his secret and thoroughly surprising me. I'm honored to be one of the lucky few who gets to call an Ember Island mask my own." Out of the corner of his eye, Iroh sensed her looking at him, but he didn't dare turn and find out what was in her face. More importantly, he didn't want her to see how warm his own face had gotten.
Fortunately, Ursa didn't press the issue until they had left the theater. "I don't understand," she whispered once they had some privacy in the evening shadows that marked the route to the royal family's beach house. "You planned all this before the Autumn Festival even started?"
"I did."
"But…how?"
"It was just a letter-"
"No, I mean…" Ursa trailed off, searching for the words. "How did you…how did you get it all right, Iroh? I didn't even tell you about Love Amongst The Dragons until we visited my parents."
Pride swelled in his chest as he answered her question: she thought he'd gotten it all right. "You didn't, it's true. But the day we met, before you'd come home, your father told me you were at an audition for one of your favorite plays, Love Amongst The Dragons. So, when the messenger from Ember Island was presenting the festival plans to us, I noticed you seemed very interested in the Ember Island Players and figured it would be simple to have them perform a play you liked and give you a tour."
"But what about the masks? You requested those later. How did you know I would like the masks?"
"Do you remember a few nights before the festival, when I taught you Pai Sho and we talked about missing our moms?"
Her face softened in the lamplight as she nodded. That had been a very vulnerable night for them, including the first time Iroh had heard her talk in her sleep.
"Well," Iroh continued, "during that talk, you said you wished you'd taken a mask from your old theater before leaving home. I thought some fancy ones from Ember Island might be a decent substitute." He paused to hold an arm out to Ursa as they reached the rocky, uphill path to the beach house.
"I can't believe you remember all that," Ursa said as she linked arms with him. "I barely even remember talking about the masks."
"Of course I remember. You're my wife. Did you think I was simply filtering out everything you said that wasn't relevant to me? I'm not Ozai."
She laughed. "No, nothing like that. I suppose I thought you'd planned all this at Ningzhou since you've been so focused on making things up to me lately. I guess I didn't realize…"
"Realize what?" Iroh asked as they stepped onto the porch of the beach house, noting that the inside had thankfully already been prepared for them.
"I didn't realize… you cared for me so much, I suppose."
Her words from the fight rang in his ears: I've been such a fool to think you might actually care for me.
"Well, I'm sorry I haven't done a good enough job of showing it, my wife. But I do. And I'm trying to be better."
"I know that now." She peered at him with a blushing smile that made his heart flutter. "Thank you, Iroh."
"Of course. Do you need anything before we turn in for the night?"
"Just some quiet. I think I might change and sit out here for a bit. The view's lovely."
With the way her sunshine eyes gleamed in the porchlight, Iroh was inclined to agree.
The day had been long. Even if Ursa's body had been in peak condition, the travel to Ember Island combined with participating in the Autumn Festival celebration would have been enough to tuck her right into bed. She'd summoned a second wave of strength for Iroh's surprises - a sleepy smile came to her lips as she thought of how wonderful it had all been - but now, she desperately needed rest.
She refused to succumb, though. Instead, she remained seated on the porch of the royal family's beach house, gazing out at the ocean. Her heavy eyes slid closed occasionally, allowing her to bask in the salt air and the crash of the waves on the shore, but she determinedly forced them to reopen and watch the twinkling night sky disappearing into the yaw of the mighty dark waters.
All her dreams of living by the beach couldn't have predicted this wonder.
"Are you turning in soon?"
Ursa turned her head to see Iroh standing in the doorway, barefoot in his sleepwear with his hair down. He was clearly ready for bed, even if he had better stamina than her.
"You don't have to wait for me. I'm just enjoying the view."
"I know. It's just that I've been watching you nod off on the porch and wake yourself back up for the past hour. I'm a little worried that if I go to bed, I'll find you curled up out there in the morning." The corner of his mouth lifted fondly as he spoke.
"There are worse beds." She turned back to the beach, trying to convince herself to pull away and turn in for the night. "I just…it's silly, but I just feel like if I sleep now, I'll never get this moment back again."
"I've had moments like that. Sometimes they come back, sometimes they don't." The floorboards creaked as Iroh joined her, seating himself to her left. "Stay up as long as you want. I'll sit with you and make sure you don't pass out here."
She smiled at him gratefully. "What was one of those moments for you?"
He scratched his jaw as he considered the question. "The second time I generated lightning. I'd been terrified to try it again after how the first time went, but doing it successfully felt…very literally electrifying. I did accidentally blast a hole that ripped from the outdoor arena to the kitchens, but my father was still proud; he called it a promising sign that I showed such power on only my second attempt."
"Do me a favor, and never generate lightning around me."
"Relax, I was eleven." He showed her his left palm, flashing the mark of his first lightning. "And I have this as a reminder to be careful."
The itch to touch that curiously star-shaped scar had been growing since she'd first seen it. Now, she hesitantly gave in, reaching out and gently circling it with one finger to test his reaction. His arm twitched.
She quickly withdrew. "Does it hurt when I do that?"
"Not at all. It just feels…tingly. I wasn't expecting it."
"It doesn't happen when you touch it?" Not hearing any protest, she resumed what she'd been doing a little more confidently, tracing the edges of the jagged white mark.
"No. And there aren't many people who get to delicately trail their fingers across my scarred palms."
The suggestion in his voice made her blush. She pulled back again.
"It's not a bad thing, Ursa." He lowered his own hand. "You are my wife."
"I know."
Iroh didn't press the matter. "So," he changed the subject. "What is it that makes this moment so enchanting to you? Is it that you've never been on a beach before?"
"Not just that." Ursa turned the question over in her mind. "This is a bit like… a glimpse of a fantasy come true for me."
"How so?"
"I always wanted to live by a beach," she explained. "It seemed like the most charming life imaginable, especially since I grew up nowhere near the ocean. I thought I would get married and join some traveling acting troupe until my husband and I found a theater in a beach town like Ember Island. Then we would settle down to raise a family, with our children growing up playing in the waves."
Even without turning her head, she knew Iroh was watching her with that expression that was both guilt ridden and fascinated, the one that he usually had when she discussed her life before marriage.
"I guess it just feels like I can pretend right now," she concluded. "Like this is just my house, and I've had a long day, and I'm going to go to bed with my husband now, and the beach will still be there tomorrow night too."
"I suppose my asking is breaking the moment a little."
"A little." She turned to meet his gaze, shivering slightly from both an autumn breeze and the intensity she found there. "But it's also creating its own moment, in a way."
He lit a small fire in his hand. Ursa instinctively curled against him for its warmth, murmuring a thanks. She hadn't realized how chilly it had gotten since she'd been sitting outside.
"Do you know how to swim?" he asked.
"Kind of. I assume you received the best instruction possible for a young swimmer when you were five?"
"Four, actually. Have you even touched the ocean before?"
"No."
"Come on, then."
Ursa pulled back a little to look at him, confused. "You don't mean go down to the beach? At this hour?"
That familiar grin answered her, making her stomach flip when paired with his messy hair. "Of course that's what I mean, Princess. A moment is only what you make it." He got to his feet and offered his free hand. "Unless you prefer your imagination to real memories?"
Not one to back down from a challenge, she took his hand. His flame flickered slightly as another breeze drifted past them.
"It's so strange that the sands are black here," Ursa whispered. "I understand it's because of the volcano, but it's so…ethereal." They walked down the stairway, Ursa lightly grasping Iroh's elbow for support in the dim lighting. The moon was full and bright, and his fire was casting a lovely glow over their path, but it didn't make the dark steps much more visible.
"I thought this was normal for a beach for most of my childhood. I realize how pompous that makes me sound, of course."
"Good, that means I don't have to tell you."
The sound of his laugh rose harmoniously with the waves. Ursa inhaled sharply as her bare feet left the stairs and sunk into cool sand for the first time.
"What do you think?" Iroh asked, noting her reaction.
"It's so soft." Her toes wiggled. "But very grainy."
"Yes, make sure you rinse off when we go back. There's no getting it out of the sheets."
She took a step and peered back to see her footprints, childishly delighted by the phenomenon. "It's pretty tricky to walk in. Like mud, sort of."
He nodded. "My father used to make me run laps and spar on the beach when we visited. He said that if I could maintain my speed and stance on treacherous sand, I would be unstoppable on solid ground. Which is especially crucial considering I'll mostly be battling the Earth Kingdom."
Fighting on this shifting, unstable sand sounded impossible. "Can earthbenders turn the earth into sand?" she asked, wondering what exactly he would be up against.
"They can, but it's not really a common skill. The desert dwelling tribes are the ones who really hone their sandbending, out of necessity." He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "I've heard of earthbenders who could melt earth into lava right beneath the feet of approaching armies."
What possible defense could there be against lava? Ursa shuddered at the thought of her husband facing such an attack.
"It's more of a legend than anything these days," Iroh reassured. "There haven't been any confirmed lavabenders since before the war began. And even if there were, my grandfather Sozin had a way to deal with them."
"How?"
"Lava is molten earth, so the heat required to produce it is still in the domain of fire." The flame in his hand briefly grew for emphasis before shrinking back down. "A highly skilled firebender is capable of extracting the very heat out of lava, reducing it back to cold earth. And even the most inexperienced of our soldiers know how to deal with earth."
Controlling heat itself. Ursa supposed it made sense for a firebender, considering how warm Iroh was when she slept next to him. "Have you ever done it?"
"Not yet," he said with a rueful grin. "My grandfather was a more powerful man than I. Maybe I'll equal him someday."
For not the first time, she saw the weight of his family's legacy on his young shoulders. It was astounding that he hadn't buckled under it. "You will," she said confidently.
He tilted his head at that, his smile softening as the wind brushed through his hair. "Well, if my wife believes it, it must be so."
They'd neared the ocean as they talked, and now the waves were washing up just a few feet away. The moon and stars loomed above, casting their silvery glow over each ripple.
"Some firebenders fear approaching the beach at night," Iroh said in a hushed voice. "The mighty ocean underneath the watchful eye of the moon, the two great sources of waterbending power. There's worry that they're just itching to drag unsuspecting firebenders out to sea."
Ursa made a face. Spirits could certainly be vengeful, but fearing the ocean simply because she was a Fire National seemed to be going too far.
"Superstitious nonsense, of course," he agreed. "The ocean has no more interest in drowning us than the air does in suffocating an earthbender."
On cue, a wave crashed against a cliff in the distance.
Iroh laughed at the timing. "I mean no disrespect, great ocean. We'll still be careful. The ocean is definitely stronger with the moon above, and they'll drown anyone, bender or otherwise, who behaves foolishly."
"And this isn't foolish?" Ursa raised her eyebrows.
"Not yet."
He extinguished his fire and stepped towards the waterline, allowing the small ripples to wash over his feet.
"It's quite cool," he warned as he went deeper, "but I think that makes it more memorable."
Ursa gathered up her nightgown, not wanting the salt water to damage the fine silk, and hesitantly moved to join him.
The water rushed to meet her, immediately submerging her ankles. She gasped and instinctively tightened her hold on her clothing. It was cold, not entirely unpleasantly, but definitely colder than she'd ever imagined the ocean being in any of her fantasies.
"You're trying to make me sick again!" she accused.
"And here I was starting to believe your insistence that you don't need help." Iroh was still a few feet away from her, having rolled up his pants and waded in until he was almost knee-deep in the water.
"I'm not delicate, I'm new to this. There's a difference." She eyed his position. "You can't expect me to join you."
"Not at all; only come as far as you're comfortable with. I'm just here to make sure the big mean ocean has to go through me to get to you." The silver light highlighted his smirk.
Lighthearted or not, Ursa couldn't let his taunting slide. She clumsily tied up her nightgown into a makeshift knot above her knees and forced herself to venture deeper into the water, until she was standing right in front of her husband.
"There," she said, unable to hide the shiver that rolled through her as she crossed her arms defiantly. "Now, you can build me a fire to warm up when we get back."
"I was just teasing. You're actually going to make yourself sick at this rate." Iroh's face was both impressed and concerned as he held an arm out. "Come here."
She hesitated, but a sudden splash of cool water up to her knees convinced her. He wrapped his arm around her with a chuckle as she pressed herself into his side, once again grateful for his warmth.
"I would've been more excited about a firebending husband if I knew having a personal heater was one of the perks," she joked.
"Personal heater, lighter, firebuilder, teamaker…What would you do without me?"
The moon gave him an unusually bright look with his wild dark hair catching its sine, almost as if he himself were glowing. "Well, I wouldn't have come out here. I'd be up at that lovely house, half-asleep on the porch, imagining a day at the beach."
"And now you're nowhere near asleep because you're having the often underrated night at the beach. It's better than imagining, isn't it?"
As cold and wet as Ursa's legs were, she had to admit this was far more memorable. "It is," she admitted.
"I told you it would be."
"Don't get carried away."
"I'll try." Another wave crashed against Iroh's legs, though he hardly reacted. She supposed he hadn't been exaggerating about his father training him to hold his stance in any environment. "Had your fill?" he asked, peering out at the ocean. "Seems like the wind might pick up soon. We could step out and dry off for a bit before going back."
"Okay." She was grateful for his arm around her as they waded back to shore; the water was forceful enough that she worried a bit about losing her footing even in this shallow depth.
"There's one more thing we should do," he said, releasing her to crouch down and pat the sand. "If you want your children to love the beach, you have to know how to build a sandcastle."
The novelty of Iroh very seriously proposing the childish activity tickled her. "Is it required that royal family members know how to build the very best sandcastles?" she teased as she kneeled next to him, sand clinging to her wet legs.
"It isn't not a requirement." His eyes sparkled with humor. "I'll build a fire. Let's see what you get started in the meantime."
Ursa's vision was simple: a tower with an outer wall, and maybe a waterway coming to it from the ocean. But with only one functional hand, her actual outcome was resembling something like a mound of sand.
"Here's a tip," Iroh said as he dropped an array of palm leaves and dead wood a few feet away from her. "You can't be afraid to use wet sand. It'll give it more structure."
"Won't the whole thing collapse if it gets too wet?"
"Yes, that's why it's about balance."
Ursa stopped her work for a moment to watch him aim his palm at the pile and create a brief burst of flame. The kindling lit up immediately, settling into the crackle of natural fire and sending a wave of heat towards her.
"Is that fine? Too hot, not hot enough?" Iroh was watching her reaction, the firelight playing across his face leaving half of it in shadow.
"It's perfect. Thanks."
The corner of his mouth she could see lifted in that familiar expression. "Alright," he moved to sit next to her, allowing more of his face to come into view. "Tell me what we're trying to do here."
"Something resembling a tower would be nice."
"Easily done. Come on, show me your technique."
Iroh helped her shape the sand into something like a column, showing her how to use her one good hand to smoothen its edges and test the integrity of the structure while slowly adding water to provide more stability.
"Now," he said once they had a respectable tower, "in my childhood trips here, this would be the part where Ozai came over and kicked it down because I didn't help him with his, and then I would get distracted putting his head in a hole and forget about sandcastles altogether."
She cast him a slightly alarmed look.
"Maybe your children will have a less combative relationship," he shrugged. "I'm not sure how much of Ozai's behavior is because of my father versus normal brotherly bickering."
"I don't know either. My parents always seemed happy with just me." It wasn't lost on her that Iroh kept referring to these hypothetical children as 'hers' rather than 'theirs.' There was no way for her to have a child that wasn't his, but she appreciated the small word choice that gave her at least some agency over her future children's lives. "If you want to be realistic, though…" She pushed her foot into the base of the tower with a mischievous smile, collapsing half of it.
His jaw fell open in mock-surprise. "You're lucky I don't believe in putting girls' heads in holes."
Ursa laughed, before scooting closer to the fire to savor its bright heat. Now that she was warm and somewhat dry, her sleepiness was starting to return. Iroh relaxed as well, legs sprawled out in an uncharacteristically boyish pose that was enhanced by his messy hair.
"Tell me that story again," he said suddenly. "About the armadillo-bear and the weasel-snake in the stars."
"They're a bear and a snake," she corrected. Teaching him about the fantastical animals in the myth had been contentious, considering he'd never heard of them before.
"Please, just tell me again? I like hearing your stories." He lay down on his back in preparation, crossing his arms comfortably behind his head.
Ignoring how her face suddenly felt too warm, she lay next to him and obliged. The fire began to dwindle as she recounted the tale: the bear and the snake, unlikely friends, struck down by a tragic misstep. When the bear had accidentally disturbed the snake in her sleep, she'd instinctively bitten him with all the poison in her sac, only to find she'd made a grave error. In the bear's dying moments, the snake had wrapped herself around his body and cried to the stars to give half her life to his.
"So, each autumn and winter, the bear and the snake celebrate their eternal half-lives among the stars that granted them their half-happy ending. In the spring and summer, they return to the land beyond the stars, waiting for the chance to embrace each other in the skies once more." Ursa traced the outline of the constellation in the sky with her finger. "Satisfied?"
Iroh was gazing at her, not the stars, with half-closed eyes that gave him an oddly peaceful look. "Of course. But I do have a question."
"Alright, but remember that I didn't come up with this story."
He rolled onto his side so he was facing her properly. "Which one would you rather be? The bear or the snake?"
Ursa raised her eyebrows, shifting onto her side too as drowsiness settled into her bones. "Why is that your question?"
"The beach at night makes me pensive," he shrugged. "Do you want to hear my answer?"
"Absolutely."
"I would rather be the snake. At least then, I would know for sure what had happened and why. The bear died in pain and confusion, thinking his friend suddenly hated him for something he'd done with good intentions."
"Really? I think I would rather be the bear."
"Why's that?" Iroh asked, producing a small fire between them as the beach fire died down.
"I don't know if I could take the guilt of what I'd done to my friend, even if it was an accident."
The glow of Iroh's flame illuminated the scar on his hand as he replied, "I thought the same thing. It's difficult, putting yourself in the shoes of such tragic characters."
Another autumn wind blew, extinguishing the remains of the beach fire. Ursa drifted further towards Iroh, the warmth radiating from him calling her closer.
"What about happier characters?" she asked. "Like from Love Amongst The Dragons?"
"You're the Dragon Empress, obviously."
"Obviously, but who are you?"
Iroh's mouth turned downwards. "Probably the dark water spirit who separated her from her emperor."
"No," Ursa protested at once. "Don't say that."
She reached out, Iroh extinguishing his flame so she could sleepily grasp his warm hand the same way she did before going to sleep each night.
"Who would I be, then, since you're the expert?" he asked.
"You're a firebender and a prince. Why couldn't you be the Dragon Emperor?" Again, Ursa traced the star-shaped scar on his palm as she spoke.
"I'm not a dragon, for one thing."
"Neither am I."
"And…the Dragon Emperor had a wife who…cared for him."
His logic made her heavy eyelids blink wider in surprise. "Do you not?"
Iroh glanced at her, moonlight dancing across the sudden tightening of his jaw. "Do I?"
"Of course you do." She left his hand to touch his cheek, intent on making him understand this even in her half-asleep state. "You do."
A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. "Thank you for telling me. I wasn't aware."
The simplicity of that response - the genuine, unassuming gratitude - suddenly pinned down what had been dancing in her mind since they'd shared a bowl of ice cream that afternoon. "Iroh?"
He frowned slightly at her hesitant tone, pushing himself up onto an elbow so he was almost hovering over her. "What? Is something wrong?"
"No, I…I just wanted to tell you…" Languidly, her fingers trailed along his jaw, to his chin, pausing just under his lips.
"Tell me what?"
Ursa had never paid close attention to Iroh's lips. His mouth frequently conveyed how he was feeling, with twitching and pursing that showed his amusement or lack of. But with how relaxed he was now, his lips themselves were fuller than she'd realized, and they were oddly welcoming in the pale light of the moon. She wondered how they felt.
"I forgive you," she murmured, hardly remembering what had brought that thought to her dozy mind as she traced along his bottom lip.
"Oh," he breathed, the motion almost like a kiss against her curious thumb. "I…I'm glad to hear that. Is…that all?"
It wasn't, but Ursa didn't know how to put words to everything else inside her. Instead, her hand left his lips and satisfied another guilty urge: burying itself in his soft, wavy hair. The ocean crash in the background made remembering why this was a bad idea difficult, or maybe that was just her own heartbeat filling her head. The cool sea breeze urged her to just ignore that confusion and pull Iroh's familiar warmth closer, heavy eyes sliding shut as he tenderly cupped her cheek and the smoky sandalwood of him enveloped her.
"Ursa…"
His nose brushing against hers startled her out of her trance. She froze, prompting Iroh to tense as well. What were they doing?
After a moment, he pulled away from her. In the absence of whatever had been swirling between them, a painfully awkward silence took its place.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, placing her now-trembling hand over her heart, blinking her eyes open to determinedly look at the sky. Focusing on the stars usually helped when she felt this shaken up, but it wasn't calming the erratic beating in her chest.
"No, I'm sorry. You have nothing to apologize for." His voice was formal again, no trace of the intimacy with which he'd said her name a moment ago. "It's been a long day, and a long night now as well. Let's get some rest."
"Iroh, I really-"
"Ursa," he cut her off. "It's okay. I told you, I want it to be real."
"It was," she said quickly. "I do forgive you. I meant that."
"I'm not just talking about your forgiveness."
His meaning hung in the air, unspoken. The stars looked too bright, the sky too clear, for the storm that was raging inside Ursa now.
"Come on," he stood, extending a hand to her. "You're starting to shiver. I'll build you a fire, make you some tea, get you warmed up. Did anyone tell you about the hot tub in the beach house?"
There Iroh went again, overcompensating to make her feel better and somehow holding her at arm's length in the process. "No, but that might be good for next time," she replied, allowing him to help her up.
"Of course. Between the beach and the theater, we'll have lots to do next time."
Ursa gave the ocean one final look. The moonlight continued to ripple across the waves, looking unchanged from before she and Iroh had ventured down in the darkness to test the shallow depths. She wondered what it would feel like - if she would be ready - to dive in next time.
A/N: Writing this one was hard simply because Ember Island provides so much material for fun cute romantic moments but realistically there was no reason to give it multiple chapters so I was struggling over which parts to highlight/cut. Like the characters say, there's always next time.
~Bobbi