A/N: it's so fun that Iroh is canonically a ladies' man in ATLA because I enjoy making ladies' men look absolutely foolish in front of the girls they actually like 3
Disclaimer: Not mine not mine not miiiine
I'm an idiot.
"Iroh," Korzu's voice cut into his thoughts.
I'm the biggest idiot to be born into the royal family in seven generations. Except Ozai.
"Iroh, don't tell me you're thinking about it again."
"Of course I'm thinking about it again!" Iroh leaned against the ship's railing with a sigh. "I can't believe I almost-"
"The important thing is that you didn't go too far, right?"
He wasn't sure. Remembering Ember Island - Ursa's slim fingers delicately mapping his face and threading through his hair, the salt air and her chrysanthemum perfume dancing around them - made him fear that he'd gotten carried away with it all. Of course she hadn't been tenderly drawing him closer for a moonlit first kiss, and of course her eyes hadn't fluttered shut in preparation for their lips to meet. How stupid could he get, caressing her cheek like a lover? How foolish did she think he was?
"Hey, snap out of it." Korzu elbowed him. "You're overthinking."
"Extremely rich for you to tell me I'm overthinking."
"Whenever I get married, I promise I'll overthink twice as much to compensate." He waited for Iroh to smile before continuing. "Come on, you were both tired, you'd just come from a very romantic play, and the beach at night is…special. There probably was something between you two that got a bit misinterpreted. You immediately apologized, and things have been fine. Don't linger on it."
Iroh grunted, watching the horizon instead of his friend. There were a few clouds gathering, but not enough to worry about it interfering with the journey.
"Besi-ides," Korzu said in a sing-song voice, "she's about to meet your grandparents. They'll definitely like her, and she'll like them too. It'll be good for you both."
"What makes you so sure?"
"I can count the number of people who don't get along with your grandparents on one hand. And Senlin Island's a lovely place, especially at this time of year. Just let things be, and I'm sure you both will have a relaxing time over the next few days here."
"You just like Senlin because it's so sparsely populated." Frankly, the only reason Senlin Island remained part of the condensed Autumn Festival route was because it was home to the late Fire Lady's parents.
"Maybe, but you know what? I bet Ursa will too."
As Senlin appeared on the horizon, Iroh hoped Korzu was right.
Ursa, cont.
Ah, Senlin Island. A brief spot of peace sandwiched between the emotional turmoil of Ember Island and the dangers that came…after. My wish that I had idly expressed to Piandao - to know Iroh better, to know his past better - was granted here, when I met the non-royal side of his family.
Of course, having my wish granted only added to the conflict inside me. If I'd wanted a friend before, I was desperate for a friend of my own now, so I could seek advice for the romantic quagmire I'd never found myself in before: was it possible that I had feelings for two men? And was it right for me to hold one of those men - my husband - at arm's length because he was the one I'd met second?
My feelings for Iroh were difficult to untangle. His solid strength made me feel safe, something I needed after Tiron. His curiosity, kindness, and sense of humor were so charmingly sweet I couldn't help being drawn to him. But what I was experiencing wasn't "real" enough for Iroh's standards. He wanted something I wasn't ready to give, not when so much of me was still worrying about Ikem, and I knew his pride would be wounded by any half-formed substitutes.
It felt like an untenable conflict. I'd agreed to marry Ikem, I'd wanted to marry Ikem, and even though that marriage would never come to pass, I still felt like I was betraying him by feeling anything for Iroh. How could I lie next to Iroh each night and lose myself in the warmth of his embrace when, for all I knew, a heartbroken Ikem was still lost in Forgetful Valley because of Iroh's presence in my life? Yet how could I place another man over my husband in direct contradiction of my wedding vows?
No matter what I did, I felt like I was betraying a man I cared about, and there was no one who I could trust to guide me through those feelings. The closest I had to genuine advice was what Avatar Roku had said to me, the words that continued to echo in my dreams even as he failed to return and explain himself further: remember our family, and keep an open heart.
"It's not that funny," Iroh whispered as he helped Ursa off the ship.
"It's very funny," she retorted. "Your grandparents run a tea plantation. Your mother's family made its money off tea. It explains everything about you."
"It explains at most one-third about me. My grandparents both had successful careers in the capital before deciding to retire and oversee the family business. It's not like tea's my family's defining trait."
"That's exactly what it's like."
"If it amuses you to believe that, fine." The smile on his lips clashed with his dismissive words. "But you're wrong."
Ursa giggled, before breathing in the cool air of Senlin. Located to the north of the capital and Ember Island, the small isle boasted lush fields of tea leaves fed by mountain springs and rich soil. "This place feels peaceful," she said. "You must have loved visiting as a boy."
"Not just as a boy."
"So you know all the good spots. You'll have to show me."
"My grandparents are very enthusiastic hosts. They'll show you before I have a chance." He held an arm out to her. "Ready to meet them?"
Although everyone had spoken very highly of Iroh's grandparents, including Yuna who was coincidentally from Senlin, Ursa's stomach still twisted. These were the parents of the Fire Lady, the woman Ursa was compared to at every turn. What would happen if they met her and found her to be a poor successor to their daughter? Would that change Iroh's opinion of her? He thankfully hadn't been too strange after that awkward moment on Ember Island, but surely there was only so much he could tolerate.
"Of course," she lied, linking arms with him. "I'm looking forward to it."
Iroh's grandparents lived in a hilltop mansion with an ocean view, straight out of a storybook. Thankfully, they were waiting to greet Iroh and Ursa at the bottom of said hill.
"There's my grandson!" A man who looked somewhat like the older version of Iroh she'd seen in the tunnels - if old Iroh were shorter and rounder with whiter hair and darker eyes - approached with open arms. "And the granddaughter-in-law I've been so eagerly waiting to meet. Princess Ursa," he bowed deeply, pink robes brushing the ground. "What a shame your wedding was cut short before we could speak, but I'm honored to be in your presence now and welcome you to Senlin Island. I am retired General Lu Ten, and this is my wife Lihua, former Headmistress of the Royal Fire Academy for Girls."
"Princess," Iroh's grandmother, taller and leaner than her husband, bowed in greeting as well. As she straightened up, it occurred to Ursa that she had Iroh's smile. "It's wonderful to have you here. Please, you must tell us how my mule-headed grandson convinced a beauty like yourself to marry him."
"Granny," Iroh said quietly while Ursa forced a polite laugh. She didn't think his grandparents would enjoy hearing the true story behind their engagement.
"I'm just teasing, sweetheart. Of course you're a catch." Lihua wrapped Iroh up in an embrace. "Oh, I can't believe I'm old enough for you to be married! It feels like just last week you were toddling around the beach with your mother."
"To be fair, I am rather young to be married," Iroh reminded her.
"Ah, well, the Fire Lord knows best about these things, hm? But do me a favor, you two, and don't give me more great-grandchildren just yet. I'm not ready to feel quite that old."
Lu Ten nodded in agreement with his wife. "We feel fifty most of the time until the young ones show up and remind us otherwise. Now come along. Princess Ursa deserves a tour before the party begins."
The group was accosted at the front door of the mansion by a very pregnant woman. "Iroh!" she sang out. "Have you missed your favorite cousin?"
"Kai Ming?" Iroh delicately embraced her. "Aren't you supposed to be on bed rest?"
"Please, I couldn't miss this. Princess Ursa," she turned and awkwardly saluted, freckled face flashing a winning smile, "forgive me for not being able to bow. I am Kai Ming, daughter of Fire Lady Ilah's older sister Cyrah. It's wonderful to meet you."
"The honor is mine, Kai Ming. A warm welcome is far more meaningful than a bow. How is your pregnancy?"
"Put briefly, exhausting. I'm having twins; it was the whole reason I wasn't able to attend my little cousin's wedding."
Iroh scoffed. "Kai Ming, I'm married now, and you're only six years older than me. The 'little cousin' thing is getting old."
"You should grow a little taller before puffing out your chest." Kai Ming straightened her back so she matched Iroh's height, clearly having inherited Lihua's stature. HIs cheeks reddened.
"Kai Ming," Ursa interrupted the small spat. "Is the rest of your family here as well?"
"My husband is at sea, but my parents and older sister are here and excited to meet you. I'm simply the most excited, of course." She lowered her voice secretively. "Tell me, did Iroh catch your attention with a fire rose? Because I taught him that, and I'd like the credit."
"No? What's a fire rose?"
Kai Ming raised her eyebrows at Iroh, who turned redder. "It's just a party trick," he stammered. "I'll show you later, if you like."
Lu Ten and Lihua's mansion was filled with balconies and large windows, welcoming the cool mountain air that carried in the scent of the ocean and tea plants. The walls were cheerfully adorned with fresh flowers and bright oil paintings. Enchanted by the views both inside and out, Ursa found herself smiling widely while the grandparents chattered about their history in the mansion, Kai Ming having stayed behind to rest her swollen feet.
"We both grew up on Senlin, but it was about a year before Iroh was born that we decided to come back," Lihua reflected. "With our youngest daughter married and the older ones already having their own children, we figured it was time. Especially since Lu Ten was getting tired of the war room, it didn't make sense to keep going on in the capital."
"The family mansion had been sitting empty for a few years after my older brother gave his life to the war, so sprucing it up again was a wonderful retirement activity. Of course, we just barely got it done before this one showed up." Lu Ten clasped Iroh's shoulder. "So it didn't really matter, seeing as once he got the hang of his fire he was wreaking havoc all over the place anyway."
"I never burned anything that didn't deserve it," Iroh defended himself. "Some of the decor in here used to be disgusting."
The group drew to a stop in front of a family portrait. "This is one of my favorites," Lu Ten remarked. "We had it done right after our oldest, Mynah, got engaged: one last portrait of just us and our girls."
Ursa peered at the portrait curiously, not having seen many images of her late mother-in-law. A younger Lu Ten and Lihua were seated, their three daughters standing behind them. It was evident which one was Ilah: she was at the end next to her father, the only daughter who had inherited his looks, standing shorter and curvier than her older sisters. The smile that had been passed down from Lihua to Iroh was on her lips as well, and there was something in her round face that echoed her son's kindness.
"We have a few with Iroh too," Lu Ten continued, "but they're in storage somewhere since he put some scorch marks on them. He was never a fan of sitting for portraits."
Ursa stage-whispered to Iroh, "How old were you when you started firebending?"
"Hmm…maybe two or three? I don't really remember discovering it."
"Is that normal?"
"No," Lihua cut in. "Iroh was very much a prodigy. Most children don't start actively firebending until they're four or five. Ozai even took until he was six; terribly late by the royal family's standards, but not unusual in the grand scheme of things."
"Darling," Lu Ten quickly shushed, "you know Iroh doesn't like us talking about Ozai."
Lihua immediately looked both horrified and apologetic. "Ah, I'm sorry sweetheart. Come on, let's go see if lunch is ready."
What was that about? Ursa nudged Iroh with a curious frown, but he just shook his head, face having gone tight. Maybe he would tell her when they were alone.
Lunch was indeed ready, and the array of guests joining them for the meal made Ursa instinctively press herself closer to Iroh's side. Even though she'd studied these people in her preparations for the festival, it was still overwhelming to see them in person. Lady Ilah's oldest sister Mynah was in the colonies, but the second sister Cyrah had come with her husband, Sen, and her two daughters, Qian Lu and Kai Ming. Qian Lu was still single despite being the older sister, but Kai Ming was married to her childhood sweetheart Ru, a newly-promoted captain in the Fire Navy.
Memorizing the family tree had made Ursa's head spin, but Kai Ming and her husband had stuck out. For one thing, she was relatively certain Kai Ming was in fact Iroh's favorite cousin based on Yuna's rundown of the maternal family, and for another, Ursa was a bit jealous of the older woman's childhood love story that had actually come to fruition.
Of course, the family tree didn't account for the handful of noble families on Senlin that had also descended on the grandparents' mansion to greet the new princess and enjoy the Autumn Festival. "Princess Ursa, it's an honor," each new face smiled and bowed as they entered the grand dining hall, quickly blending together. Ursa mechanically smiled back and nodded politely, simply focusing on making sure she didn't offend anyone while Iroh handled most of the chit-chat. Clearly, he knew these people quite well after spending childhood summers on Senlin.
Still, she wasn't prepared for the way her husband stiffened when a young woman who introduced herself as Jade bowed before them. "I'm honored to meet you, Princess Ursa, and to see you again, Prince Iroh," Jade spoke in a sweet, lilting voice that made Ursa feel like a commoner again. Her eyes were a unique hazel that seemed to change colors each time she blinked. "It's a wonder to witness your swiftly joyful union. Royal love is truly unique."
There was something bubbling beneath the surface of her polite comments that was clearly putting Iroh on edge as he replied, "Jade, I didn't realize you were back at Senlin. Thank you for your kind words. I look forward to hearing how the past year has treated you."
Ursa could tell he didn't mean it. Who is that, she wanted to ask as Jade moved towards her seat, but another couple was approaching to introduce themselves. One more thing for she and Iroh to discuss once they were alone.
Spirits, how was it she already had a list of things to discuss and they hadn't even made it through lunch?
"Princess," Kai Ming whispered as Ursa slid into the seat between her and Iroh. "May I ask, what did Jade say?"
Ursa quickly glanced to her right at Iroh, who was caught up in a conversation with his grandmother. He wouldn't be listening.
"Nothing remarkable," Ursa replied in a tone that she hoped came across as unbothered. "She paid her respects to our marriage. What prompts you to ask?"
Kai Ming blinked, looking a bit surprised. "Did my little cousin not tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
Her cheeks flushed. "Well, you know, don't pay a pregnant woman's ramblings any mind. Now, what has been your favorite part of the festival so far?"
Ursa was ready to insist Kai Ming tell her what was going on with Jade, but Iroh turned his attention back to her and gently touched her right elbow. "How are you holding up?" he asked. "Is your arm doing okay?"
"Same as ever," she replied with a weak smile. Her arm didn't hurt, but it was still unresponsive from the elbow down. "But I'm holding up fine. With all the left-handed tasks I've been doing, I'll be ambidextrous by the time my arm heals."
"Do you want to be ambidextrous?"
"Absolutely. I think that would be a very useful ability."
He grinned in that easy way that made Ursa's face warm. "Well, I'll try to make sure your left hand gets enough practice then. Tell me if you need help? Korzu's just a few chairs down as well."
"Of course."
Lunch was a mellow enough affair, as Iroh's family were just as easy to converse with as Iroh himself. But even as she laughed at their jokes and delighted in stories about Iroh's childhood, she couldn't help feeling hypersensitive to Jade's presence at the other end of the dining hall. Jade was elegantly assured of herself as she ate, a noblewoman comfortable in this life she'd been born to, in direct contrast with Ursa still sneaking glances at those around her to make sure she didn't accidentally commit an error of etiquette. The way Jade laughed - just enough to draw attention to herself, but not enough to overpower others - was the kind of ideally royal behavior Ursa had yet to master.
Suddenly, Jade met her curious eyes. If she was surprised, she didn't show it, smiling in a perfectly pleasant fashion. Ursa offered a strained smile in return, quickly glancing away. She'd been caught staring at a woman who she was increasingly certain had some history with Iroh. How would that make her look?
"Princess Ursa," Lu Ten spoke to her once again as servers presented cups of chai to all the guests, "I must say, I'm fascinated that you selected chai as the Autumn Festival's tea for this year. What inspired your decision?"
"My official reasoning was celebrating our progress in the war and including our colonial citizens in the festival this year. But to be honest, General, I simply liked it best."
Lu Ten laughed. "I appreciate your honesty. Mynah is also a lover of chai, so she was elated by your choice. It appears you've reached your goal of including the colonies."
"I'm glad to hear it, and I hope I'm able to meet Mynah someday. But since your family are the tea experts, please tell me, how do you feel about chai?"
"Oh, I adore it. I absolutely agree with your reasoning about our progress in the war, Princess. That's the whole reason the war exists, in my view: for us to share our greatness with the world, yes, but also to reap the world's greatness in return."
Ursa couldn't help raising her eyebrows at that; she'd heard the line about sharing the nation's greatness many times in school, but never anything about the rest of the world's greatness. "What do you mean?"
"It's like this, Princess," Lihua continued her husband's explanation now. "Chai would not exist if not for the brewing techniques of the Earth Kingdom, and it doesn't stop there. The construction and architecture of the Earth Kingdom is unmatched since they can manipulate the earth itself into whatever structure they desire. At the Royal Fire Academy, we teach chi-blocking, a technique that developed out of the Air Nation's understanding of chi and nerve systems in the body. The Water Tribes boast the greatest healers of the world, using their element itself to knit the body back together. If the Fire Nation can take all the strengths of these other nations and unite them into common good, we would usher a new age of harmony and technological advancement into the world."
Lu Ten nodded in agreement. "Fire is the superior element, of course. Why else would we be able to conjure it at will where the other nations can't? But that doesn't mean the others don't have any value. We just need the war to do away with these pesky borders and political divides between us so that value can be enjoyed by everyone in the world."
"You'll forgive us if this talk sounds a little unorthodox, Princess," Iroh's aunt Cyrah spoke from the other side of the table. "My parents have always been more globally minded than the capital nobility. It stems from Senlin's history; before the war, our family was one of the most famed suppliers of tea in the world. Now we're limited to the Fire Nation, but my father still dreams of restoring our former glory."
"Too true," Lu Ten sighed sadly. "Some day, the Earth Kingdom will know the taste of our family's tea leaves again. Likely once our boy Iroh breaks through the walls of Ba Sing Se."
"Ba Sing Se?" Ursa inquired, glancing at Iroh. "Is that your plan?"
"It's what he's destined to do, of course," Kai Ming chimed in. "Honestly, Iroh, haven't you told your wife anything?"
Frankly, Ursa was starting to wonder the same thing. Iroh, who'd been rather quiet during this whole conversation, made a sort of scoffing sound. "I had a dream about bringing down Ba Sing Se as a boy. Everyone on both sides of my family believes it was a vision even though I'd just learned about Ba Sing Se in class that day. I hardly think that counts as destiny."
"Perhaps the dream alone doesn't, but practically speaking, who can conquer Ba Sing Se besides you?" Lu Ten pressed. "The Fire Lord has withdrawn from combat, yet the Earth Kingdom capital still stands. No one but his heir can lead the army in such a crucial mission."
"Come now, dearest. Don't pester him with military talk. He comes here for a break from those things." Lihua rubbed her husband's shoulder affectionately. "How about this? Once we're done with lunch, we'll be moving the party outside. We can continue the tour out there so Princess Ursa can see the grounds. Iroh tells us you're rather fond of gardens and nature."
"I am," Ursa said, flashing a brief, grateful smile at Iroh. "That sounds like a lovely plan, thank you."
They'd barely stepped out of the mansion for the grounds tour when Kai Ming was tugging Iroh away from Ursa and their grandparents to duck behind a hedge for a private conversation. A memory of playing hide and explode in similar fashion rippled through him before he glared at his cousin.
"What is going on with you? You're doing an awful lot of pushing me around for someone who's supposed to be on bed rest."
"For Agni's sake, if you're that concerned, I'll go lie down after this. Tell me something, though: did you not know Jade was going to be here?"
Recalling how passive-aggressively his ex-girlfriend had greeted him and Ursa made Iroh wince. "No, of course not. I didn't even realize she'd come back from the colonies. We haven't exactly been in touch."
Kai Ming sucked in her cheeks and blew them out. "So you didn't warn Ursa about her."
"No- oh, spirits, what did you do?" he demanded as he recognized the guilty look on her face.
"I didn't realize she didn't know! It's not my fault. And all I did was ask what Jade said, so it's not that bad. Still, any princess is smart enough to put two and two together, so you should maybe talk to her about Jade before she draws her own conclusions."
"Talk to her and say what?" Iroh asked. "Jade was just a girlfriend. Ursa's my wife."
"Well, you should tell that to the look you got on your face when you saw Jade."
"You don't think I-"
"Of course not. I'd slap you if I thought you did. But Ursa doesn't know everything, and if she saw what I saw, she probably thinks you do. You noticed she spent quite a lot of her meal glancing at Jade, right?"
He had indeed noticed it, even though he didn't know exactly what to make of it. "Yeah. Fine, you're right. I'll talk to her at some point."
Kai Ming nodded, turning back to the mansion. "Oh," she called over her shoulder as she went, "don't forget to give her a fire rose as well. Your wife of all people should get one."
Sometimes, Iroh forgot how lucky he was to have his cousins.
"There you are, Iroh," his grandfather greeted as he caught up with the trio again. "I was just saying your wife seems like a sencha lady, and she told me you'd already introduced her to it at your wedding. Your intuition for tea is getting better each year."
"You really consider yourself a sencha lady?" Iroh asked Ursa. "Even though you got sick that night?"
"Well…I do still like it, now that I can drink it without throwing up. But I suppose I prefer herbal teas over the traditional tea plant."
"A good herbal tea has its place," his grandmother nodded in agreement. "Chrysanthemum, for instance, always helped Iroh sleep."
"Chrysanthemum's my favorite as well. My mother grows them."
"Oh, you must see our flower garden then," Granny said at once. "The chrysanthemums are lovely this time of year."
Here was Iroh's opportunity. While he technically wasn't making her a fire rose, he thought to himself that she would like this better as he discreetly slipped a few of her favorite yellow and pink chrysanthemums up his sleeve.
"...and these are the jasmines we use to make Iroh's favorite jasmine tea," Lu Ten was pointing out to an eagerly listening Ursa. "The chrysanthemums are-"
"Right here." With a burst of yellow flame, Iroh conjured the bouquet in his hands and presented it to Ursa, ignoring the way his grandparents chuckled and applauded to focus on her reaction.
Her eyebrows raised and lips parted slightly in that endearingly familiar expression, before a small smile came across her face. "Oh…is this the party trick that gets you all the girls?"
"Something like that," he confirmed, not enjoying the way she'd worded it. "What do you think?"
"It's…flashy," she replied in an oddly quiet voice as she accepted the bouquet with her good hand. "The flowers are really lovely."
That wasn't what Iroh had been expecting. Maybe this conversation about Jade was more important than he'd thought.
Still, it wasn't until much later, after the fanfare and the festivities were done and the couple was free to retire for the night, that the opportunity to talk presented itself.
"Long day, hm?" Iroh awkwardly attempted to break the ice that had somehow formed as they walked towards their room. "How are you feeling?"
"A little overwhelmed, I guess. Your family's very nice. I liked meeting them."
"Good. They were excited to meet you as well."
"I could tell. I appreciated it, though. I felt like…they actually wanted to know me, not just make a good impression on the princess."
"That's one of the perks of being related to the Fire Lady: the rest of the royal family becomes your family as well," Iroh grinned, before pushing open the bedroom door. "Anyway, here we are. My mother's old room."
"This was her room?" Ursa asked, blinking a little sleepily as she took it in. It didn't look too different from a palace bedroom - four-poster bed, tall windows, the flowers he'd given her sitting on the nightstand in a vase - but this room was decorated in more yellow and green rather than shades of red, and boasted a balcony to take in the view better.
"Yup. I always slept in here with her when we visited, and then I just kept staying here after she passed, so now it's pretty much my room, I suppose."
"Where does Ozai stay, then?"
The question caught him off-guard, as focused as he'd been on the Jade issue. "Uh…usually in one of the guest rooms. He doesn't come here that often."
"Is that because you don't like your grandparents talking about him?" she asked, frowning a little as she recalled his grandmother's slip of the tongue. "What does that even mean?"
Dragonshit. He wanted to talk about this even less than he wanted to talk about Jade.
"Well, it's…" he faltered. "Um…"
"Forget it. Don't tell me. Maybe Kai Ming or your grandparents can instead."
"What?"
She shook her head, mumbling something about just being tired. Iroh didn't believe it.
"Ursa, did I do something wrong again?" he asked a little pleadingly, closing the door so they could have some privacy. "Whatever it is, I'm sorry, just…can you tell me what it is?"
"How can you be sorry if you don't know what it is?"
"Because you're upset, and I'll always be sorry for upsetting you unnecessarily. Please, what did I do?"
The little crinkle between her eyebrows vanished, and now she did look very tired. "I don't think you did anything," she said quietly. "Being here just makes me feel…"
"Feel what?"
"Can we sit down first?"
"Yeah, yeah, of course." What was he doing, keeping her on her feet needlessly?
Ursa sank onto the mattress with a sigh. "It's difficult to explain," she began once Iroh settled himself to her right. "I was finally starting to feel kind of…normal?...as a princess. But being here makes me realize that I don't know anything."
"What do you mean? You've been doing great."
"No, I'm doing fine, after trying so hard every minute every day. There's still so much I'm missing about…about this life. About you. And you don't even seem to want to tell me any of it."
"Ursa, I'll tell you anything you want. You want to hear about Ozai and my grandparents? I'll tell you about that. I hesitated because…it doesn't make me look great."
"How bad could it be?"
A weight settled in his stomach. He and Ursa had been getting along rather well lately, barring the awkwardness on Ember Island; he wasn't ready for that to end once she saw this side of him. "Pretty bad."
She studied him, a sort of sleepy curiosity on her face, before scooting towards the head of the bed and curling up against a pillow. "You don't want to tell me."
"I don't want you to think differently of me," he sighed. "The truth is, I used to be really awful to Ozai. When my father told me that my mother was gone, he also told me it was the new baby that had killed her. And I believed him, of course, because he was my father so…well, I was nasty to Ozai. And that lasted much, much longer than I care to admit."
"So, your grandparents…"
"My father and I both didn't let Ozai visit Senlin very often. My father pretty much forbade it on the grounds that my grandparents shouldn't be forced to spend time with their daughter's killer, and whenever they were able to see us both, I threw awful tantrums until they stopped trying to include Ozai. He's not nearly as close with the family as I am thanks to that. And they really want to be close with him too. I got in the way."
He couldn't bring himself to meet Ursa's eyes although he could feel them trained on him. "Do you regret it?" she asked softly.
"Of course I do. My father was blinded by grief, and I followed him down that path. All Ozai did was be born. Even if he's an annoying little shit, he didn't deserve to be deemed a murderer."
"Did you ever tell Ozai that?"
That made him peer up at her. "No. No, I don't think that would be well-received. He's just barely started to trust me again."
The frown on her face made his heart clench. Was this the part where she decided he was horrible, and everything between them was destroyed?
"You were five," she said finally. "Your mother had just died, and your father told you it was your new baby brother's fault. I don't know what I would have done if that was me."
"I think you would've opened your eyes a bit sooner."
"Maybe, but who knows?" Ursa sat up straight and placed her good hand on his shoulder. "What matters is what you're doing now that you feel regret. I've seen how you and Ozai act. I never would've imagined you'd once shared your father's view on him if you hadn't told me. And Ozai is only fourteen. There's time for you to be better."
"Do you really think so?"
"Of course. There's always time for people to be better. That's what my mom always says, at least."
"I guess I can't disagree with your mom." Iroh leaned back on the pillows next to her with a sigh. "So, what else do you want to know?"
Ursa withdrew her hand, suddenly looking nervous. "That woman, Jade…"
"I figured you would ask about her," he said quickly. "I courted her for about a year and a half, then I ended it after the last Autumn Festival. It was a rather nasty split. I hadn't spoken to her since until today. I had no idea she was back at Senlin, or I would've warned you."
"I see." Ursa drew her knees up in front of her, still looking rather insecure. Iroh knew he shouldn't be finding that pose adorable. "Why…did it end?"
"She hated tea."
His little joke worked: a surprised giggle burst out of her, the shine returning to her eyes. "Did she actually?"
"Well, she didn't love it," Iroh grinned back at her. "No, she started talking about getting married. She wanted to come on the Autumn Festival journey with me because 'it would be her job someday anyway.' It made me pretty uncomfortable, so I ended things after the festival was over."
"So…you didn't want to marry her."
"No, I didn't. I told her we were too young to be considering our courtship so seriously. She disagreed, but that's not my concern." Iroh didn't tell her the rest of it: how Jade had snapped at him that she'd never loved him anyway, and the only reason any woman would put up with a too-short, tea-loving kook like him was to be Fire Lady.
"If you'd known you would've ended up married to a village girl only a year later, would you have given her more consideration?"
"Absolutely not. I like you much better."
"Is that so?"
Suddenly self-conscious of what he'd just said, Iroh felt his face warm. "Yes."
Ursa smiled. "Well, now I don't feel as jealous anymore."
"You were jealous?"
It was her turn to blush. "Maybe a little…" she murmured, hiding her face in her knees. "Is that okay?"
"Sure. I like you being jealous." At least he wasn't the only jealous one anymore. "Anything else you want to know about?"
"The fire rose trick," she perked up at once. "Show me again. I can't figure out how it works."
"Ah, you have to look closely. Watch my hands instead of the fire." Iroh reached over to the nightstand to pluck a flower out of the bouquet from earlier, purposefully slowing his movements so it would be easier for Ursa to follow. "Ready?"
"Mm-hmm."
This time, he produced a smaller yellow flame, allowing himself to be a little more obvious about pulling the flower out of his sleeve. "Got it?"
"With one flower, sure, but how do you manage a bouquet?"
"Bigger flame, quicker wrists," he shrugged. "Do you like it? You didn't seem too impressed earlier."
"I do, I'm sorry if that wasn't clear." She took the flower from him and sniffed it, cheeks pink again. "It just made me think…how odd it was that I'm your wife, but I never got courted by you."
Iroh frowned. "Do you wish I'd courted you?"
"I don't know," she sighed. "It probably wouldn't have made anything better when we first met, seeing as neither of us had a choice. But lately, I've been feeling…like I want that? Maybe it's jealousy, knowing you courted other women first. Is that silly?"
"No, of course not. But, Ursa, you know you're far more important to me than any other woman, right?"
The petals of the flower brushed against her cheek as she hit her face in it. "Yeah…"
"That being said, if you want me to court you now, I'd be honored. Consider the bouquet the start of it."
"Alright," she smiled, before holding the flower out to him. "Put this back in the vase for me? I'm going to change clothes."
Iroh waited for her to slip into the dressing room before adjusting her flowers on the nightstand and quickly changing his own sleepwear. Then, he nudged open the balcony door and strode outside, feeling himself relax as he took in the sight of his family island. Leaning on the railing, he breathed in the cool mountain air while the ocean pushed against the cliffs in the distance and the stars danced in the sky. This was one of his favorite views in the world; if he closed his eyes as the breeze brushed over him, he could almost feel his mother combing his hair as she told him stories about the spirits of these islands.
"What are you looking at?" Ursa appeared at his side, dressed in her nightgown.
"Just the view." Iroh shifted over so she could peer out as well. "I love the way Senlin looks at night."
"It is beautiful," she agreed. "We're staying here for a few days, right?"
"Four. Any fewer, and my grandparents would be inconsolable."
"Well, I'm glad. Being on the road - and the ocean - all the time was starting to get to me."
"Me as well. That's why the festival usually stops here for a few days before going on, so I can take a little break around the halfway mark. Plus, there's lots to do in these parts."
"Like what?"
"Here, I'll show you one of my favorites. Do you see, off to the northwest, that little island hiding on the horizon? It's barely visible."
For a moment, Ursa squinted out into the distance. "Not really," she finally admitted. "What is it?"
"It's the Sun Warriors' island. It used to be anyway, but now it holds the remnants of their civilization."
"The Sun Warriors? Like, the first firebenders?"
"The same. They were primitive, sure, but incredibly connected to the spiritual side of firebending. I've been there during the past few Autumn Festivals to poke around the ruins. It's amazing stuff. But do you want to know the most interesting part?"
"What?" Ursa leaned towards him, eyes sparkling.
"Sometimes, people see strange lights coming off the highest mountains of that island. Some think it's the sun. Some think it's spirits. Some think it's a dragon, possibly the last dragon left."
"Wow."
"I know."
"You've been out there. What do you think?"
"If there's a dragon or spirits making noise, they've never done anything to me," he shrugged. "It's likely just the sun."
"Still…that is fascinating. The ruins of a civilization. It must be something to see." Ursa peered back out at the sea with clear admiration. "Are you planning to visit it this year?"
"No, I couldn't leave you here to wander off to some island."
"Why would you leave me?" she challenged. "Couldn't I come with you?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to visit?"
"Do you not want me to?"
"I didn't say that. Full disclosure, though, there are some booby traps scattered around the ruins. But if you'd really like to see it, I know the safe spots. I've cleared out a lot of the traps in my past visits."
"Now, the booby traps make it sound very fascinating," Ursa smiled at him. "I trust you to keep me safe. You know that."
The simple declaration took his breath away. She trusted him, even after how he'd let her down with Tiron. He couldn't disappoint her again.
"Let's visit tomorrow, then?" he suggested. "We can leave first thing in the morning and be back in the evening."
"Okay. Ooh!" Her face lit up with an idea. "We can pack lunches and have a picnic on the island. That would be fun."
"Yeah," he grinned, her excitement drawing him in as well, "and we can watch the sunset from the ship on the way back. It looks beautiful when you're on the water."
"And we can go down to see Senlin's beach tomorrow night?"
His heart skipped a beat as he remembered the last time they'd been on a beach. "Sure. Whatever makes you happy."
Her bright smile was interrupted by a yawn. "Gosh, look at me. I'm getting tired just making all these plans."
"Come on, let's go to bed."
It was such a casually intimate thing to say, a dialogue from a sweetly domestic life that did not belong to Iroh, but he didn't care. He allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy for exactly as long as it took for him to lie down, Ursa hesitating before settling herself a few inches away from his side.
"Can you tell me one more thing?" she asked.
"Sure."
"Are you really this warm all the time, or can you control it?"
"I can control it. Why, are you uncomfortable?"
"No, just curious. It seemed like it might be difficult for you to sleep in the summer if you were always this warm." She paused before continuing, "Are you controlling it now?"
"A little," he confessed, putting out the lamps in the room to hide his blush. "I've noticed you get cold pretty easily."
"Oh, thanks. I do like to be warm," she added shyly, before reaching for his left hand. Iroh gladly allowed her to take hold of it, delighting in how she traced across the scar on his palm before resting against his pulse at his wrist. Even though it was routine now, he couldn't help loving it.
"You know, I used to sleep next to Piandao on overnight hikes with the academy, and I'd make it boiling in the room just to mess with him."
Ursa giggled, before snuggling closer. "How did he get back at you?"
"Slipped a huge spider-ant into my shoe."
"Sounds like you deserved it," she laughed again and finally settled with her head on his chest, so close it would be nothing at all for Iroh to just tilt his chin and ghost his lips across her hair. A whisper of a kiss. The idea was tempting enough for him to tighten his jaw and resolutely stare at the ceiling.
"Good night, Iroh," she sighed, oblivious to his plight, the gentle puff of her breath on his chest like an autumn wind brushing his very spirit.
"Good night, Ursa."
It was a dream, really, to fall asleep with her in his arms like this. His wife. The woman he was courting, he reminded himself silently. It meant something, didn't it, that she'd asked for that? As her breathing slowed, he decided not to think about it too hard. Jealousy or not, he was grateful for anything real she had to give him.
A/N: Transitional chapters are so hard to write like sometimes I wish I could just write down a list of the important details you need to know before the next one and publish that so I can just get ahead to the good stuff. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed Iroh's family. Considering there's not a lot about them in canon, I like to think they're the reason he ended up a little more well-adjusted in his worldview.
~Bobbi