Disclaimer: it's not miiiiine
It hurt to breathe too deeply, and the side of his face still throbbed, but Ursa's worry for him ached more than any of that.
"You said you weren't going to get in a fight," she whispered, dabbing his eye with some herbal paste she'd whipped up and brought to his bedroom. Apparently, it didn't matter that the physicians had already tended to him; she had her own remedies up her sleeve, and Iroh certainly wasn't going to protest the attention.
"I know. But I had to."
"What happened? Were you attacked in Omashu?"
"No, we actually got out of Omashu okay. But when we were regrouping in the Laoshan colony, an earthbender battalion launched an ambush on the day we were supposed to leave. I couldn't just run back to the Fire Nation. Our people would've been left to defend themselves."
"Oh." Ursa's lips pursed. "I guess you did have to stay and fight. But why didn't I hear about this?"
"It happened very quickly, darling. Father only got our message about it this morning. The struggles of communicating across an ocean," he smiled.
There was no return smile, just Ursa examining his eye closely before shifting her focus to his ribs. "Just a crack on the fourth left one? You're sure?" she double-checked, all business as she tugged his tunic further open.
"Three different physicians said so."
"What did it?"
"A hit from a boulder. It wouldn't have done nearly as much damage if I'd had proper armor. I'll be more prepared next time."
The attempt at reassuring her didn't work; a cloud passed over her face, and she turned away to set her bowl of paste on the nightstand.
"Dearest," he tried, "I know I gave you a fright, turning up like this, and I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I really missed you."
"I missed you too," she sniffed. "I'm sorry, I just…it just occurred to me that this is my life now."
"What do you mean?" Iroh winced as he attempted to scoot closer to her.
"I guess I've been thinking of this whole thing as just a mission you had to do, and then you'd come home, and things would be normal again. But it's not going to be that way, is it?" Ursa peered at him with something so sad in her sunshine eyes, his heart clenched. "There are going to be more battles, and you're going to have to fight in those too, and each time you leave…you might not come back."
"Darling-"
"And I'll just be here, waiting. Waiting to hear from some letter if you're okay or if…I've lost you. It won't just be you, either. What if this war isn't over by the time our children are grown? Do I spend the rest of my life fearing the worst for my entire family?"
She went quiet then, wiping her eyes and adamantly refusing to let out the silent sobs shaking her shoulders. Iroh had never wished so badly for things to be different, if only to make her happy.
"Come here," he murmured instead, feeling quite useless.
With a shuddering breath, she leaned back against the pillows next to him. "Sorry. I shouldn't be making you comfort me. You're hurt."
"Physically hurt, sure, but that doesn't stop me from being there for you emotionally." Iroh clumsily moved to drape an arm around her, but the sharp protest of his ribs made him settle for linking hands with her instead. "Look, my wife, I can't do anything about the fact that I have to fight for my nation. But I promise you, I'm going to do everything possible to make sure this war doesn't become our children's war as well."
She cast him a skeptical look. "Really?"
"Of course. Four generations of Fire Lords embroiled in war is just too many. My grandfather started it, my father continued it, and I will end it. It's only right."
"You'll take down Ba Sing Se?"
"Everyone thinks it's my destiny anyway."
"And the water tribes?"
"Please, once the Earth Kingdom's fallen, the Water Tribes will be easy pickings. Our children won't have to get involved with that."
"But you only have…twenty or so years? Depending on when we have children."
"What, you don't believe I can do it?"
"I didn't say that. If anyone can, you can." Now she finally smiled a little, planting a kiss on his nose.
"I'm glad you think so. I'd be nothing without your belief in me." He found her lips and kissed her slowly, taking his time to savor her all over again. It was even better than all the times he'd imagined it in Omashu: the sweetness of her, the breathy moan that escaped her, the way her hand trailed up his arm to deepen the kiss-
"Ow," he gasped as his ribs twinged.
"Sorry!" She pulled away at once, eyes wide with worry again. "Are you okay? Did I make it worse?"
"No. Kissing it better definitely helps," he grinned.
Luckily, she rolled her eyes and settled against his good side. "Yeah, you're fine. Tell me about Omashu."
"Can I have another kiss first?"
Ursa leaned in, and he lost focus of his story for a bit. It was hard, recounting the past few weeks, when she was here; languidly trailing her lips along his jaw, brushing her fingers against his skin, flashing her pretty smile whenever he cracked one of his awkward jokes. Still, he managed a clumsy summary of the mundane events in Omashu.
"I hope you like the gift I sent you," he said.
"I love it. It's on my nightstand right now. Even Xiliu likes it. He must think it's a flattering resemblance." She kissed his nose.
"Good. I picked up another gift when I left Omashu, but I'm afraid it got lost in the battle."
"What was it?"
"A theater mask. I thought you could add an Earth Kingdom one to your collection."
"Oh, Iroh…that's such a sweet thought." Ursa kissed his lips for that, and he pulled her in as much as he could to draw it out and make her moan.
"I'll get you one next time I go," he promised.
"I could live without one, but I suppose I won't say no," she smiled cheekily. "So, what happened at the soldiers' party?"
"Ah…" Iroh's good mood faltered. "That's where things got strange."
"How so?"
He told her everything he could remember about that night, from his discoveries about the palace to the odd old man who'd escorted him home rather unconventionally. "And then he handed me this paper, which…well, it made me realize it was time to get out of Omashu."
"Why? What was on it?"
"I'm honestly not sure. Some kind of riddle? The bits I pieced together were enough to make me realize my cover wasn't safe." Iroh gestured to his study. "It's on my desk. I still can't figure out what exactly it means; not just the words, but the strange markings on it as well. Like a code of some kind."
"You think it's a message for you because they knew you didn't belong?" Ursa deduced quickly.
"Yes. I just wish I understood it. Which would probably be easier if it didn't hurt to focus on reading too much." Iroh closed his eyes. "I hate not understanding something."
Her lips dotting against his forehead soothed some of his frustration. "You'll get it eventually. This clever brain just needs a little break."
"Hmm…" Iroh sighed under the attention. "Well, let me quiet my brain and indulge in the company of my beautiful wife. Tell me, what have you been up to?"
"Nothing as significant as you- oh, wait! I think Ozai has a crush."
That was definitely too boggling for the mind. He closed his eyes as she narrated the story, allowing the natural melody of her voice to envelope him and transport him somewhere Omashu's oddities couldn't bother him.
From the Fire Nation Royal Family's official records
Letter delivered to Crown Prince Iroh in Omashu, Winter 69 AG
Rising in the west
An empire of unrest
Sends dragons across a sea
Searching but failing to see
(it's a trick of the tongue, you see
and two plus one is three)
Before the sky turned red
Flowers bloomed around the world
The beauty of nature's perseverance
Guiding clear sight through the woods
Lingering, the bloom continues
Waiting for the inheritance of favor
Her mother's words echoed in Ursa's ears: I see you favor the white lotus flower. Not many appreciate the beauty of nature's perseverance. Those who do can always see clearly through the woods.
The dialogue she'd memorized in her mother's room, the strange Pai Sho pattern she'd played until she'd gotten it perfectly right…she'd half-forgotten about them because they hadn't made sense until just now. This letter wasn't a message to Iroh. Somehow, it was a message to her, connected to what her mother had hurriedly passed down to her in Hira'a. Instinctively, she touched Iroh's locket around the neck, weighing the white lotus tile inside. The "inheritance of favor" had to be a reference to her mother teaching her to favor the white lotus flower like in the dialogue. That meant the mysterious flower blooming had to be the white lotus, waiting for Ursa herself. Waiting for her…to do what?
There were still pieces she didn't understand (When had the sky turned red? What did the poem mean by two plus one equals three? What were the strange markings on the paper, the seemingly random squiggles?). Still, this was a letter from someone in Omashu who clearly knew her mother in some capacity. That just wasn't something Ursa could ignore, even if it had likely come from an enemy of the Fire Nation. Her mother had told her these odd white lotus things would make sense when the time was right. They were starting to come together now…so what was she supposed to do?
Peering over her shoulder, she double-checked that Iroh's bedroom door was closed, Iroh presumably still snoring away inside. Anyway, he wouldn't overhear her doing anything suspicious; she had free reign of his study, so long as she stayed away from the personal files in his drawers. And this strange letter had been sitting on top of his desk, so technically, she wasn't doing anything wrong yet.
It probably wasn't good to use the word technically to justify her actions. Ignoring the guilty knot in her stomach, she cut herself a piece of parchment the same size and shape as the letter, before meticulously copying down the words and accompanying odd squiggles. Even the random marks on the letter mattered somehow, she was certain. All of it was important, a connection to the possibly treacherous things her mother had asked her to memorize. She just didn't know how or why yet…or if it was even a good idea for her to pursue it, when it came at the cost of keeping secrets from her husband.
Her mother had thought it was important. That had to be reason enough for Ursa to at least figure out who was behind this. She carefully blew on the ink, waiting for it to dry, and tried to convince herself she wasn't betraying Iroh.
Yet.
Ursa, cont.
A lie is a tricky thing. It's very rare that it can just be told and forgotten. Sooner or later, there will be an opportunity to either tell a second lie to protect the first, or come clean. Naturally, people are rarely willing to admit they've been lying, so it goes on and on until that first lie either becomes unrecognizable or buckles under its own weight.
I used to think this pattern didn't apply to lies of omission. Lies of omission work a little differently, to be fair; it's more like a wound that festers inward rather than growing outward. Still, sooner or later, such half-truths and strategic lies eat up your soul in an almost worse way than an outright lie. I didn't learn that until it was almost too late.
Iroh was in love.
He'd been dancing around it for some time, especially while he'd been in Omashu desperately missing the object of his love, but there was no denying it anymore. The realization slammed into him when he opened his eyes on his first morning back in the palace. There was Ursa, tangled up in his blankets with a thin line of drool making its way out of her half-open mouth, and Iroh was in love with her. It was as simple as that.
The less simple part was the issue of if he should tell her, or if she even loved him back. So, instead of puzzling over it, he decided to just…not. Overthinking and trying to read Ursa's mind had caused enough issues in their marriage. He was back from Omashu, relatively safe and sound, and his injuries meant he had every excuse to simply lounge around the palace and bask in his love's company.
Besides, winter turning to spring was definitely the best time to be in love, even if it was unspoken. The garden came into bloom not long after his return, including Ursa's chrysanthemums, making it the perfect spot for lazy romantic afternoons in the springtime sun.
"Which color do you like best?" Ursa questioned.
Iroh opened his eyes, turning just enough that he could see the chrysanthemum plants from his rather comfortable position with his head resting in her lap. "I think my favorites are the same as yours," he decided. "Yellow and pink." New beginnings and strong relationships.
"You're just saying that because they're my favorites."
"Yes, and?"
Ursa laughed, her fingers resuming their careful threading through his hair.
"You really like my hair, don't you?" he asked, closing his eyes once more in enjoyment.
"What makes you say that?"
"You're always playing with it," he pointed out. "Every chance you get. Why do you like it?"
"It's nice," she shrugged. "I like wavy hair."
"I don't. At least, not on me."
"Why not?"
"It's a pain to take care of and a mess if I don't."
"Like the crown prince does his own hair."
"Well, I don't enjoy other people touching my hair as much as I enjoy my beautiful wife doing it, so yeah. I do my own hair."
"I see." Her thumb massaged his scalp just so, and Iroh sighed involuntarily. "I could do your hair."
"Is that right?"
"Sure. I like playing with it anyway, and I could help you look more princely." Ursa paused, seemingly in thought as she twisted two strands of his hair together. "Can I braid it?"
"I thought you were trying to make me look more princely," he chuckled. "That's really more how the Earth Kingdom nobles wear it."
"So that's a no?"
He opened his eyes to catch a glimpse of her upside-down face, drawn into an unmistakable (and adorable) pout. "I didn't say that. You can braid my hair any way you like, dearest." Because I love you, he added silently, testing the weight of the words. They were heavy, sinking into his tongue, keeping him quiet while she happily began a small braid near the front of his hairline.
"Don't worry, crown prince. I'll put it back in the topknot once I've had my fun."
If the dawn of spring was the best time to be in love, Senlin Island was the best place to bask in it, with its cool mountains and lush fields and tranquil beaches. While he'd been away, Ursa had worked something of a miracle: talking Ozai into agreeing to visit the grandparents. He was even behaving somewhat decently on the way. Of course, 'decent' for Ozai didn't mean much; just that he wasn't actively blowing smoke at the people around him.
"I'm going to puke," Ozai announced loudly as he passed them on the ship's deck.
"What, you're seasick?" Ursa asked.
"Nope. Just good old-fashioned PDA-induced nausea." Ozai mimed dry-heaving over the railing for emphasis. "For spirits' sakes, we're visiting our grandparents. Get your hands off each other."
"The grandparents in question think we're a very sweet couple," Iroh informed, tugging Ursa closer and kissing her forehead just to spite his brother. "It's not our fault you can't get a girl to like you back."
A thunderous expression crossed Ozai's face, and he stormed off back below deck.
"Why did you do that?" Ursa whispered. "Now his mood's going to be all spoiled for your grandparents."
Iroh hadn't considered that. "He started it," he shrugged jokingly.
"Come on, you're twenty now. You're too old to be using that one."
"Maybe you don't know this because you're an only child, dearest, but I'll never be too old to blame my little brother for things."
Still, Ursa was right about Ozai's mood. He hardly said hello to Granny and Grampa before making a beeline for his room. But it didn't matter. The main point of this visit was to finally meet Kai Ming's twins, nearly five months after their birth. It was a slightly terrifying prospect: while his much older cousins off in the colonies had started their families a while ago, Kai Ming was the one closest in age and location to Iroh. If she was happily having children, that meant Iroh's own parenthood couldn't be that far away either. He tamped down that thought and focused on formulating the proper congratulations and compliments for his cousin.
Kai Ming's husband Ru, a Fire Navy captain Iroh had admired as a boy, was beaming with an indescribable sort of pride as he greeted them outside his and Kai Ming's room. It took Iroh a second to recognize it as paternal pride; the joy and accomplishment of fathering not just one, but two healthy bouncing babies.
"Captain Ru, our sincerest congratulations," Iroh said politely.
"Thank you, thank you. It's so good that you're here," Ru saluted Iroh as he held open the door. "And Princess Ursa, it's an honor to make your acquaintance. Please, meet our daughters."
Kai Ming was waiting in a rocking chair with the thankfully calm daughters in question. "This is Ty Lin," she shifted one of the bundles in her arms, "and this is Ty Liu."
Ursa moved first, carefully taking up Ty Lin and cradling her head just so. "Oh, Kai Ming. They're so beautiful."
"They are," Iroh concurred. It was true; the pair were adorably identical, with their mother's large gray eyes and dimples paired with their father's pale skin and thick brown hair.
"You want to hold Ty Liu, little cousin?" Kai Ming teased, offering the second baby up. "It's good practice."
"Like it's that hard," he dismissed, even though how tiny and fragile the baby looked automatically set him on edge. "Ty Liu, a pleasure to meet you. Do you mind letting me hold you?"
The baby seemed to be in a fine enough mood, so he decided to risk it. Of course, she started squirming in his arms not even a minute later, and instant regret set in.
"You've got to support her head," Ru offered helpfully, miming the correct posture for Iroh. "But she is a bit fussier than her sister."
"I don't know what you mean. She's a delight."
"Not when she's hungry in the middle of the night, she isn't," Kai Ming sighed. "And then she wakes her sister up, and then I get back to bed in two hours if I'm lucky. I'm just glad Ru was able to get leave from the navy so I'm not suffering alone."
"It definitely helps when your wife's cousin is the future Fire Lord," Ru laughed.
"How do you tell the two of them apart?" Iroh asked, trying and failing to identify the difference between the baby in Ursa's arms and his own.
"Ty Lin's about five minutes older, so we've put an anklet on her to remember," Kai Ming explained. "I'm hoping they'll look more different when they're older. Otherwise, I'll need something more secure than an anklet."
Ursa was doing much better with Ty Lin than Iroh was with Ty Liu: she was bouncing the older twin in her arms and humming a little song. Watching her - more accurately, attempting to mimic her ease with the infant - made Iroh wonder…what would things be like when it was their own baby? Was she wondering the same thing?
Like she sensed his gaze on her, she glanced up and flashed him a quick but tight smile. Something was definitely on her mind. Iroh just wasn't sure what.
"My mom had me help with deliveries, sometimes," she explained to him when they were walking through the tea fields that evening, the sun sinking towards the horizon casting a golden light over everything. "I got pretty good with babies."
"I see." Iroh leaned down to smell one of the plants. "Is it incredibly obvious that I've never held a baby in my life until today?"
"Yes."
"Blast."
Ursa laughed, and he was quite pleased with himself for a moment. "Well, it's like Kai Ming said. It just takes practice."
"I guess," he said noncommittally. "You know, seeing her and Ru all happy with their babies sort of got me thinking."
"About what?"
"About when it might happen for us, I suppose." Fortunately, they'd put some distance between them and the mansion so they could have this conversation in relative privacy. "I know we've touched on the topic occasionally, but I thought maybe we should discuss how we both feel about it."
Really, she didn't need to say anything for Iroh to see how she felt. She'd tensed up ever so slightly when he'd said the words "for us" before relaxing, the tell-tale sign of her toying with her sleeve showing she was trying to hide her anxiety. Ursa might have had experience with babies, but she didn't want one of her own right now.
"How do you feel about it?" she asked quietly, transparently attempting to gauge his stance first. He decided to give her permission to be honest.
"I feel that I never really pictured myself married with children before the age of thirty," he scoffed. "And crossing off the married part of that equation has just made me feel that…I like being with you. With you, just the two of us. I'm not in any hurry to add others to that picture, not when everything with us is still so new and exciting."
"But," Ursa was still nervous, "what about the prophecy?"
"My opinion on the prophecy hasn't changed. If it's really meant to be, it'll come to pass in its own time. That's how prophecies work." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Now, my darling, your turn. How do you feel?"
"I suppose I feel…similarly," she said carefully. "I always thought I would have children, I just figured I would be older. Maybe not thirty, but certainly not eighteen."
"Then we're on the same page," Iroh smiled. "It's good that we talked about it, isn't it?"
"Well, yes, but aren't people going to gossip if we go so long without having a child?"
"Let them gossip. When have you known me to care?"
"Won't your father care, though?"
"That's my concern," he brushed it off. "My father waited over forty years before worrying about heirs, and now he's attempting to overcompensate for that through me. I can handle it."
"Really?"
"Yes," he promised, cupping her face. "Ursa, my Ursa, whenever we have a family of our own, it's going to be something wonderful, and that will be because we weren't pressured into it but chose it when we were good and ready. Okay?"
"Okay." She smiled up at him, before suddenly flinging her arms around him and kissing him like he'd relieved her of a great burden. Perhaps he had; the issue of bearing his children had been lingering uncomfortably since the day they'd met, thanks to that blasted prophecy.
"Thank you," she whispered as she pulled away all too soon. The setting sun made her skin practically glow and gave her eyes that beautifully molten look. Not for the first time, Iroh wondered if he'd accidentally wed some phoenix spirit in human form.
"There's nothing to thank me for." Because I love you, my phoenix, he thought, and the words were a little lighter now, so he drew a breath and prepared to say them aloud-
"Hey, lovebirds!" Ozai's voice interrupted. "Grampa and Ru want to know if you guys want to go on a hike around the island tomorrow."
"A hike?" The moment evaporated as Ursa peered behind her at Ozai, and Iroh reminded himself of the virtue of not locking his younger brother in a chained and soundproofed wardrobe. "That sounds kind of fun. What do you think, Iroh?"
"Sure, why not? You can see more of the island."
There would be other moments. During one of those, Iroh promised himself, he would say it. And maybe she would even say it back. But it would be fine if she didn't; after all, he loved her.
It had been clever, hiding the note in her room during the two weeks Ursa had been away at Senlin. Clever, in the sort of thrilling horrifying way that accompanied the realization that there was someone out there capable of slipping secret notes to her even in all the security of the royal palace. If they could manage a note, what else could they do?
The familiar squiggles on the paper sealed it: this was the follow-up to that Omashu letter she'd been anxiously hoping to receive while simultaneously dreading it. Here it was, just waiting for her, neatly tucked into her stack of correspondence on her desk like it belonged. Maybe it did.
Her first thought was Mika or Rei, but there were any number of people in the palace who could've slipped something into her letters. The thought made her uneasy, but…well, depending on what was in the letter, perhaps the loopholes in the system would be for the best.
Shell halves
Moon darkens
Lotus opens
Sun turns
Eight simple words. What was she supposed to do with that? Ursa dug out her copy of the Omashu letter and set it next to the note, looking for connections between the two that might shed more light on the matter. The squiggles on the two papers…they meant something. They had to, or they wouldn't have been added at all. She just needed to figure out what.
Absent-mindedly, she reached out and traced the shape of one of the squiggles with her finger. It was like a fragment of something, as if whoever had drawn it had started midway and stopped again-
Oh.
A drawing hidden in the folds, a schoolchild technique. Interesting. Finding the correct way to fold the papers proved to be a hassle, especially since she was trying to avoid tearing them, but eventually she was able to put the two notes together in a clumsily creased picture of a turtle crab.
"This is good, but the best turtle crab around here's at The Half Shell Inn down in Harbor City. So delicious it's their logo," Piandao said as he slurped up his seafood phở.
"It's kind of in a seedy spot," Korzu amended, "in the southern corner of the city by the civilian docks, so I wouldn't recommend trying to visit it until Iroh's back."
"There are civilian docks?" Ursa asked. She only knew about the First Lord's Harbor, heavily guarded by the royal plaza.
"Officially, no," Piandao answered, "but off paper, there's docks in the south where Harbor City merchants and traders can circumvent the tight security of the royal harbor and do their business. They just grease the patrol's palms and use their common sense about what they let into the city."
The note read Shell halves and was marked with the turtle crab drawing presumably matching the inn's logo: that had to mean The Half Shell Inn by the southern docks was the spot. But the spot for what? For when?
Think, she scolded herself. Think. She could figure out the rest of this, assuming she wasn't wildly off base with her assumptions.
Moon darkens referenced a new moon, of course, but the next new moon was that night. Was this note so urgent? Lotus opens had to be at the center of this whole thing, with the white lotus Pai Sho tile and the lotus pattern her mother had taught her. Perhaps she should refresh her memory of Pai Sho since it seemed it would be important soon. Sun turns...how and when would the sun turn?
"Darling?" Iroh's voice at her door made her realize just how long she'd been sitting in here. Blast. She was supposed to be freshening up before dinner.
"Come in!" she called, quickly stashing the two notes into the back of her desk drawer.
"No rush, just check-" The sentence vanished into a yelp as Xiliu shrieked, and Ursa remembered too late the cat's fondness for sleeping right in front of the bedroom door. Uh-oh. She rushed to the door.
"He attacked me," Iroh complained, poutingly rubbing his ankles. Xiliu sat a few feet away with a rather similar demeanor, only he was washing his face instead.
"You just scared him," Ursa laughed, kneeling between the two to rub Xiliu's ears and kiss Iroh's cheek. "He didn't mean it. Did you, XiXi?"
Unhelpfully, her cat slunk away and slipped under the bed.
"He wants me dead," Iroh said in a mock-serious tone. "One of these days I'm going to trip and break my neck, and it's going to be him at the scene of the crime."
"Such drama. You're not even bleeding."
"Don't underestimate him, darling. You've got an apex predator for a pet."
"And a dragon for a husband. I'm the safest woman in the world."
That made Iroh smile, and he kissed her. "Are you ready for dinner? I was worried you'd dozed off. I know how sleepy boats make you."
"I'm ready," Ursa said, hiding the fact that she hadn't done anything to get ready. "But you're right, I was thinking about lying down first."
"Great timing on my part, then."
He held her hand as they walked to the dining room, one of those small gestures that normally made her feel practically giddy with schoolgirl infatuation. Now, though, it was mixed with guilt: how many more secret notes would there be for her to hide from her caring husband? The worst part was, if she told Iroh everything and asked him for help with the notes, he would no doubt be able to figure out exactly what they meant…before deeming the whole thing some anti-royal conspiracy. It wasn't like there could be an innocent reason her mother had instructed her to keep this all hidden from Iroh, after all. How upset would he be if he ever found out?
Maybe she should just ignore the notes. The mystery behind them couldn't be worth her marriage, not when it was finally becoming something warm and good and real. But she couldn't ignore the fact that her mother had told her to hold onto these pieces of white lotus mystery as her family inheritance. The same family descended from Avatar Roku, who had betrayed the Fire Lord, and who had told her to remember their family and keep an open heart. She'd thought Roku had simply meant for her to open her heart to Iroh as repentance for the Avatar's crimes, but the white lotus tiles had appeared to her in those spirit tunnels, and they clearly had something to do with this mystery connected to her family. Didn't that make it part of her obligation to remember?
Ugh, going round and round in circles about this wasn't doing her mind any good. And she still didn't know what Sun turns meant.
"What's got you so quiet?"
"Huh?" She glanced up at Iroh guiltily, feeling her cheeks flame.
"I know your thinking face, gorgeous." He squeezed her hand gently. "Is it something you want to talk about, or a secret?"
A secret. Did he know, somehow? Was he giving her a chance to come clean? "I was just missing Korzu. It's a challenge to even write to him, with how far away he goes and how much he moves around."
"You don't have to tell me. Pinning him down on the map is like trying to grab an eel with my bare hands. But he'll write or visit eventually. Even if he detests high society, he has too many loved ones here to completely sever himself from it."
"Really?"
"Sure. If nothing else, we'll at least hear from him for New Year's wishes."
The New Year. Sun turns was the new year, which was less than a month away. It made perfect sense.
"You're right, I bet we will," Ursa said, cheered up both by the realization and Iroh's reassurance. "Isn't this New Year's Eve on a new moon night?"
"Mmhmm. It's supposed to be an especially auspicious one. We'll have fun celebrating it, or I will. I know how you feel about getting up early," he teased, nuzzling her hair.
Traditionally, the occasion was celebrated at the break of dawn, to watch the sun literally rising upon a new year. Iroh was right; she hated being up that early.
"It's worth it to see the New Year with you," she told Iroh, reaching up to brush her lips against his cheek. He turned his head to reciprocate, bringing them both to a halt as his free hand carefully cupped her face and drew her mouth to his for a brief, chaste kiss.
Ozai made a loud gagging sound as he passed them. Without taking his eyes off Ursa, Iroh moved his hand to aim a small spark of lightning at his brother.
"Ow! Dragonshit, pardon me for having a problem with the PDA," Ozai said indignantly, rubbing the back of his neck where Iroh had zapped him.
"Don't make me show you real PDA," Iroh threatened with a smirk, prompting Ozai to make a rude gesture in return.
"Ozai!"
All three froze at the sound of the Fire Lord's voice, Ozai blanching with fear. Ursa automatically tightened her grip on Iroh's hand, relieved to feel him return the gesture as Azulon swept towards them from the other side of the hallway.
"What do you think you're doing?" Azulon thundered. "Disrespecting the crown prince, bringing obscenities into my palace like some common urchin?"
Ozai shrunk under the scolding, looking very much like a shamed schoolboy as he stared at his shoes instead of meeting his father's furious gaze.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself, or will you be the mute you should have been born as?"
"Father," Iroh released Ursa's hand and stepped forward, thankfully shielding her from Azulon's direct line of sight. "Ozai and I were just teasing each other as brothers. I'm not offended-"
"I don't care if you aren't, Prince Iroh. He brazenly disrespected not just you, but this very palace that painstakingly raised him, and by extension, me." Azulon turned back on Ozai. "When will you learn to stop spitting in the face of everyone who has bent over backwards for the sake of your pitiful existence?"
Ozai refused to answer, continuing to stare unerringly at his shoes. His expression had gone from fearful to blank. Ursa imagined that was what she'd looked like most of the time during her early days as a princess.
Without warning, Azulon's hand shot out and clipped Ozai across the face. It wasn't a real slap, more of a show of discipline than anything, but her heart still clenched at the sight. Her own parents had never resorted to physical punishment.
"Take your dinner in the kitchens. I don't want the sight of you ruining my meal."
Immediately, Ozai bowed and walked away, not saying a word.
"Father," Iroh spoke up again, "Ursa and I are still worn from the travel home from Senlin, and I know you've been keeping busy while we were gone. I'm not sure we'll be good company for each other tonight. Perhaps we should all just dine separately and recuperate from the day?"
Once the rage left his face, the Fire Lord did look exhausted. "That may be for the best, son. I'm afraid I don't have the stamina that I used to, or the patience for your brother's antics." He placed a hand on Iroh's shoulder with a wan smile. "That's what a good strong heir is for, after all."
"Of course, Father."
"That's my boy," Azulon nodded at Ursa. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Princess. I hope Ozai didn't spoil your appetite."
"Not at all," she replied quickly, heart still pounding.
"You are both of too generous a spirit towards him," he sighed. "Very well. Good night, children."
Once the Fire Lord was gone, Iroh turned to her with his own tired expression. "I'm sorry, dearest, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you to dine alone. I want to go check on Ozai in the kitchens."
"I understand." Comforting his brother after that scene was certainly more important than having a meal with her.
"Is it all right…" his voice turned sultry, "...if I come visit you afterwards?"
Despite the anxiety still rattling her nerves, Ursa felt something inside her stir and shiver at his request. "I wouldn't mind."
"I'm honored." He kissed her forehead. "I'll instruct the kitchens to send you your meal. See you soon."
Dinner alone might be just what Ursa needed anyway. It would give her time to clear her head and decide what to do about the pieces of the note coming together. Shell halves was The Half Shell Inn in the seedy part of Harbor City. Moon darkens was the new moon. Lotus opens was…the white lotus tile? The Pai Sho board pattern? That part was still a little unclear. And Sun turns was the New Year. If she was stringing this together properly, she had to be at The Half Shell Inn on the night of New Year's Eve to find out this white lotus mystery behind the notes and how it connected it to her family: quite the challenge, considering it would involve slipping out of the heavily-guarded palace and into an apparently tricky part of Harbor City on New Year's Eve, which everyone and their mothers would likely be celebrating.
Could she do it?
Xiliu slipped out from under the bed and leapt up into her arms as she nudged the bedroom door shut. "You need to be nicer to Iroh," she scolded. "He's the whole reason you live here, remember?"
He simply purred, content and unrepentant.
Ursa sighed. She didn't know if she was up for the challenge. But deep in her spirit, she knew not trying wasn't an option.
A/N: Loooove to write Person A simply being in love while Person B is nursing some guilty secret mwahahahaha
Also yes I am writing Kai Ming to be Ty Lee's mom because I just think it's fun and silly to make Ty Lee a distant cousin of the royal family but it's not that deep of a connection so don't overthink it.
~Bobbi
