BLOOD TYPE
After leaving lunch that day, I meandered toward the west parking lot with my mind spinning from the conversation with La I had just left. I was positively euphoric - the entire conversation had been a huge resounding yes.
Yes, she wanted to get to know me. Yes, she knew there was something odd about my family, and yes, she was still happy to spend time with me. At one point, I'd even made her laugh.
My stomach made a giant lurch as I thought about her giddy smile. Our parting had been another beautiful moment.
There had been a brief pause in the rain was spitting down on us all day. The air was sticky and wet and smelled of fresh, green growth. La had been adjusting the strap on her messenger bag. The heavy weight of it was propped up on a knee for support as she fought with the thing. A single tendril-like curl had fallen out of her sloppy bun and swung forward over her face. It twirled before her in the damp air, unnoticed.
For a fraction of an instant I had an internal battle; do I touch her? Do I risk it?
The thick enticing tendril had drawn me in. I wanted to see for myself if her hair felt the way it looked, or if it would be light and silky as a summer's breeze. I imagined it running through my fingers in heavy folds as I pulled the band out from the bun on top of her head to let it cascade down around her shoulders.
My curiosity finally got the better of me. In a quick movement, I caught the offending tendril and twirled it back into place. The strands of her hair were thick with fascinating texture that tangled and locked together. I had to pull my hand away to keep myself from picking up another piece. She'd frozen like a deer caught in headlights, then immediately hightailed it away from me.
For a moment, I wondered if my touch had alarmed her. I was too quick or too forward, or she might just be horrified I'd touched her hair… Perhaps -
"You took her by surprise is all." Edward's clipped accent still carried the cadences of the 19th century. Somehow his words weren't even remotely comforting.
Where did you come from? I frowned at him but kept walking toward the parking lot. Since my class was canceled I could easily run home rather than wait for the family to go home together, but pathetic as it was, I didn't want to miss the opportunity to see La again before we left.
Edward paced easily beside me as we rounded a corner and headed away from campus.
"I was looking for you." He dug into his pocket and withdrew the fob to his GTI. "Alice requested I give this to you."
"Why?" I eyed him critically.
"I assume you'll be needing it this afternoon."
"Okay?" Want to elaborate?
In lieu of an answer, he turned on his heel and walked back the way we'd come. I tossed the fob in the air and caught it as I watched him stalk silently away. Something about this situation was making him exceptionally ornery. I thought we'd all come to terms with our disagreement after our family meeting, but his behavior told a different story.
I would need to speak with him about it. Hopefully, I would be able to ferret out exactly what it was that drove a wedge between us. Maybe I could ask him to accompany me on a separate hunt away from the family where could speak candidly.
Goat Rocks could work. There would almost definitely be some mountain lion up that way to entice Edward, and maybe even one or two bears that would be grumpy from recently waking out of hibernation. The thought of an imminent fight with a bear cheered me as I made my way down a slight hill of browning grass and headed for the tree line.
La had proven herself to be an absolute force of nature, not that I'd expected anything else. Her immediate declaration and assurance that she would figure out my family's secret both excited and scared me.
"Would you believe me if I told you it wasn't my secret to tell?" I had asked her, hoping it would put a stop to the line of questioning. The answers she sought were too dangerous for her to know, but her interpretation of my warning had taken an entirely different turn.
"I can guess?" She had been so ready with this reply, it was almost as if she'd expected the warning.
"I really wish you wouldn't." For her to guess correctly would put us in far too much danger.
"I don't think that's true," was her immediate rebuttal. "...don't worry. I'm going to figure this out, and you won't have to spill someone else's secret."
It had been extremely difficult not to simply tell her outright. I wondered if that would affect the decision I might ask of her down the road, or if it was better for her to spend the time working it out on her own. Each step of this courtship had to give her a choice.
Her choice. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my hands into fists. I veered away from the trees and made my way to the parking lot where I folded myself into Edward's car.
Today's lunch had been one single "yes," but if I wanted it to remain that way, she would need to be introduced into the idea of the supernatural slowly and carefully. There was no doubt she would figure it out, even if today's theories had been a bit of a stretch.
Kryptonite, radioactive spiders, Mjolnir… she thought I was a hero because I'd saved her life. Even refused to consider I might be the villain. In which story was the vampire the good guy? Bloodsucking fiends, and all that nonsense.
Still, her conviction has sent the world spinning around my head. Joy. Perfect, genuine joy filled me to bursting and for a moment, I really did feel like a hero.
The problem was that she couldn't see the mountains of the dead in my reflection every time I looked in the mirror. She didn't know that even as I sat there feeling joy in her presence, there was an equal part of me that wanted nothing more than to feel her blood gush down my throat.
I wasn't a hero. To anyone.
As I sat alone in Edward's car the frustration mounted. I dug my phone out of my pocket looking for a distraction. I needed to think about anything else for a moment. Just as I chose a music file from my library I heard an odd shuffling, grunting noise coming from the direction of campus.
Once it got closer I was able to discern footsteps amid the shambling. The small grunts of struggling breath that accompanied the beleaguered steps made it sound exactly as if one person was dragging another along. I paused with my hand on the door handle, ready to get out, and peered through the windshield to see who was causing the commotion.
The Great Blonde Fungus was half carrying La along the sidewalk with one arm looped around her waist and the other gripping the wrist of an arm that was flung over his shoulders.
I shot out of the car, and barely succeeded in limiting myself to a quick human-paced jog in their direction. On closer inspection her usually richly colored skin was turned an ashy grey color. Her eyes were closed, and her lips were pressed very thin. The girl seemed nearly insensible. She could barely lift her feet as they plodded along.
It took every ounce of self-control I contained to not dart over and snatch her from the blonde's embrace.
"Just leave me here to die," I heard her mumble to the boy as he set her down on the pavement. He actually followed her advice, the moron. Once safely on the ground she immediately flopped over onto her side and pressed her face into the wet concrete. Once comfortable she stopped moving altogether.
"Delilah!" I called. A frantic pressure was building in my chest. When she didn't react to her name I turned to Fungus.
"What the hell happened?" I snarled quietly.
He took a startled step back but managed a surly, defensive answer.
"I don't know!" he frowned petulantly. "Our TA cut his hand and started bleeding. She freaked out and fainted."
"Because of the blood?" The pressure in my chest immediately released. Hemophobia. Oh, the irony.
"I mean, yeah, I guess."
"La?" I knelt down beside her and called softly. "Can you hear me?" I would have shaken her, but wasn't sure if she would benefit from my cold touch.
The girl moaned but didn't move.
"La, honey, you're lying in a puddle," I told her.
"No," she answered. "Go away."
I chuckled. Yeah, that's not happening. "Fung- Mike, why don't you go collect La's things from the room? I'll stay here with her."
The kid opened his mouth as if to snap back with a snarky response, but I silenced him with a look. He kicked a rock on his way back into the building, clearly throwing a tantrum, the little shit.
Once he was gone I turned back to the woman on the ground at my feet, who was progressively getting wetter the longer she lay there. "Can you sit up?" I asked gently.
La didn't move. Didn't even bother trying. I would have to touch her. A thrill tingled through my veins. She was wearing a light blouse today. There would be no way to disguise how cold my skin was, but hopefully she was wet and cold enough already that she wouldn't notice.
I fit a hand under the shoulder that was pressed into the concrete and made a sort of scooping motion to sit her up. She dragged her knees up and rested her head on them.
"Try putting your head between your knees," I suggested.
She immediately let her head sink down between her kneecaps and interlaced her fingers over the back of her neck. Her breathing slowly became steadier.
"You faint at the sight of blood?" I chuckled again. It was just too good.
"S'not funny…" she forced through stiff lips. Her voice was very quiet and wavered weakly.
"No, no," I agreed but kept chuckling. "Of course not."
The Great Fungus' footsteps stomped toward us. "Is she okay?" He barked as soon as he was within human hearing range. I imagined flicking a nearby pebble at his kneecap just hard enough to hurt him without causing lasting damage.
"She's fine," I said shortly. "I'm going to take her home."
"I can do that…" Fungus sniveled. I gave him the same look I'd given him earlier but added a cold smile.
"Are you going to be okay La?" he switched tactics. If La didn't give consent, it would give him reason to protest. Momentarily, I was impressed. It was unexpectedly clever of him.
La disentangled her fingers as though she meant to wave him off, but her arm only flopped onto the pavement beside her.
In one motion I hooked an arm under her bent knees and the other behind her shoulders, then scooped her into my chest and stood up. She felt so soft and breakable in my grip. One wrong move and I could crush her.
Thirst raged in my throat. Having her so close made the monster inside me believe it was about to win. That I would finally be able to end my suffering. Logically, I knew ending one suffering would only create a more distinct suffering in every other way. This thought made me feel extremely protective of her, and it was easier to fight back the thirst. I cradled her more closely into my chest and took a deep breath through my mouth and nose, almost in defiance of my inner nature.
I would not hurt this girl.
La's scent seemed to be stuck in the very fabric of the seats. It lingered in the air circulating through the heating vents. Even though it would alert everyone to her recent presence, I kept the windows up, hoping the consistent onslaught of her scent would eventually immunize me.
There was another five minutes of class left when I arrived back at campus. I tried to use the time to think about what I would say to my siblings when they joined me. Instead, I felt swamped with emotion and desires - some of them completely unrelated to my insatiable thirst.
There was another burning need, another self-conscious desire.
Attraction.
It had been more years than I wanted to admit since I bothered to wonder if my feelings for another might be mutual. I simply hadn't cared until now. La had agreed to a lunch date, on the drive to her cottage this afternoon she had even agreed to let me take her to Seattle in two weeks time. All of these were signs that pointed to reciprocation, but I couldn't help the doubt. Perhaps I should just ask her.
A sudden, distinct anxiety swept me at the idea of speaking about my feelings with her. I immediately squashed it and forced it to the back of my mind. There was no point in wasting all this agony. So what if La was attracted to me in that way. It wasn't as though I could do anything physical with her.
I imagined it anyway; how it would feel to wrap my arms around her soft waist, the warmth of her arms circling my neck. I imagined running my hands through her hair, imagined that it would feel like heavy raw silk as it slipped through my fingers. I saw myself putting a finger beneath her chin to tilt her mouth towards mine and imagined what it would feel like to breathe in the smell of her from so close and so willing; coffee and coconut, wood and spice.
I licked my lips and covered my face as I imagined what would happen next. Being so close to her. Even if only in my imagination it was clear how long I would last in a situation like that.
It was too dangerous. We would never be able to be intimate or be close in that way. Not until she wasn't so breakable.
It was all the more confusing because I couldn't ever remember feeling more human . With these new emotions, doubts, and desires I might as well be a teenager again. My memory of those years was foggy at best, but I knew I'd never felt this way before my transition.
In my human past, the other men who worked for the gangster that employed me would go off into town, meet at brothels, or otherwise spend their earned coin on women. I'd never been interested in that. Instead, I chose to spend my coin on drink and weapons since the bulk of my time was spent guarding the boss while he played cards or made deals.
I'd been reliable because I wasn't smart enough to do anything else.
When I woke up in Carlisle's study, we all quickly found vampirism suited me. I was exceptionally strong, even for a newborn, and eager to learn due to never having a mind capable of retaining information before.
I soaked in this new existence like a sponge, taking delight in my sight, my strength, my senses, and my sudden brilliance. Vampirism was the greatest thing that could have happened to me. My life would have been a waste without it.
It never occurred to me that something might be missing. Even living with two perfect mated pairs, I knew that most never found their partner. Carlisle had a theory that our particular lifestyle better enabled us to connect with others of our kind, but even if that was true, I figured we had an eternity to find out. Over time, I ceased to care, if I ever cared at all.
There were several lovers in my vampiric past. All of them were remembered fondly, but none of them created this maelstrom inside me, which brought me directly back to square one. Somehow it felt wrong to doom her to an existence caught in twilight, even if she chose it. So many of us would never choose this for themselves.
This was most especially poignant for someone like La, who had a family she loved. People would miss her if she suddenly disappeared. Our conversation during the drive to her house had made that very clear.
My curiosity about all the little inconsistencies in her story burst out of me as we pulled away from the west parking lot. I asked her as many questions as I could think of in rapid succession hoping it would shed some light into the girl's past. Her answers only brought on more questions.
I asked about her mom who had moved to California long before La left the South, but the answers only brought on more questions and eventually, she started to shut down.
Her timeline didn't make sense against the things I had been able to dig up about her. For instance, her medical history only began with her move to Forks. Something must have happened between her mother's move to California and La's move here.
Who was I really falling in love with? Delilah, or someone else entirely? Someone born on the other side of a cataclysmic event, like the meteor that took out the dinosaurs. Who was she before her world burned down? And what happened to that girl?
Further pushing on my part was rewarded with disinterested, uncomfortable answers. It was clear there was an abundant history she didn't want to talk about and I didn't want to risk pushing her away by prying.
Jasper would be able to get the whole story easily through some of his contacts, but it seemed like a betrayal of trust. I would prefer to earn the story from La, rather than discover any skeletons in her closet without her permission. How bad could it be, really?
When I pulled up to her cottage I decided to try one last time before settling in for the long haul and finding out in time, naturally.
"What aren't you telling me?"
Her sad smile spoke more clearly than the rest of our conversation combined. She wasn't lying, she wasn't hiding anything from me, she just wasn't interested in talking about it. That smile effectively closed the door on any further interrogation, and she quickly changed the subject.
The back passenger door opened causing me to jump against the seatbelt that I'd buckled over my chest in an effort to appear more human to La. I quickly released it and fought it back over my shoulder. It clung to me like a jellyfish, but I managed to get my arm untangled without breaking anything.
Jasper gave me an arch look and slid into the back seat on the passenger's side.
"Skip class?" he asked as Alice slid into the seat beside him.
"Sort of," I answered shortly.
"Any particular reason?"
"Oh, just… being a good Samaritan," I said and chuckled at myself. "Caring for the sick, you know, being the gentleman that I am."
Jasper tilted his head at me, as he cradled Alice into his side.
"Ooh!" Alice exclaimed. "La was in here?"
"This is getting weird," Jasper looked between his wife and the back of my head.
"You have no idea, man."
He inhaled again. "Mmm, she does have a rather singular scent, doesn't she?"
I nearly broke the steering wheel off the column.
"Calm down!" He lifted his hands in defense. "I'm only noticing."
Edward pulled the passenger door open then and dropped into the seat while I was still fuming. Jasper had poor control, it wasn't safe for him to be noticing anything .
Alice leaned forward and put her hand out. "I didn't see what happened, only that you were in Edward's car, and I was in La's."
I dropped the Fiat key I'd gotten off La in her hand and turned to look at her squarely. "This doesn't mean you can-"
"I know!" She chirped. " I can wait. It won't be long now."
She slipped out of the car and all but danced over to La's. As soon as the engine was turned I pulled out of the lot and led the way to the little cottage.
The rain must have disguised our arrival because she didn't look out at the sound of our approach. If she was there, Edward didn't offer any insight.
His discretion was something we took for granted. Being privy to all of our thoughts as he was it would be tantamount to betrayal if he were to repeat them without permission. So many years had passed in his company that this was now a matter of course. It didn't occur to me that I might want him to behave differently until suddenly I wanted very much for him to tell me exactly what was going on in one girl's head.
Alice quickly threw the Fiat into park and rejoined us in the Volkswagen. As soon as she was inside I flew away from La's house down the quiet, wet, wood-lined roads.