BIRDWATCHING
For whatever reason, I expected what we'd done to be A Very Big Deal, but it never even broke on the major news networks.
Before school the next morning I joined Jasper on the couch to look out for reports about our escapade. CNN cycled through multiple national headlines before settling on the weather, while Fox repeated the same three stories before turning to commercials. It was pretty safe to say they had failed to notice Lonnie's apprehension entirely.
While the national stations missed it, there was a small blurb on a local Oregon MSNBC network about the capture of a known serial rapist, but nothing more. It was a quick few seconds and contained a single, grainy photo. I only found it because I knew what to look for.
"Lonnell Geoffrey Becker suspected serial rapist and murderer wanted in the states of Texas and Oklahoma, was apprehended last night in Portland, Oregon thanks to an anonymous tip. Becker was found unconscious in an alley early this morning, just a few yards from a police station. There is currently no statement from local authorities on the circumstances in which he was found."
Thankfully the picture was old and inaccurate. Likely a mugshot from one of Lonnie's early arrests. In it, he had a thick beard that obscured most of his face and a bruise next to his left eye that made him even less recognizable. However, his whole face was likely black and blue today, as well. I waited a moment for the regret to flood in. I should feel bad for beating a person half to death… right?
The remorse didn't come. That fucker deserved it.
In any case, I needn't worry about La seeing this news. She didn't seem to watch broadcast television at all. Whatever news she received would come from applications on her phone where there would be a lot of global noise. Even if she caught the article somehow, she probably wouldn't recognize the man in the photo as her attacker.
"Good call to take him out of state," I said as Edward joined the family in the sitting room.
"I thought it might reduce local coverage," he agreed.
"It looks like removing him eliminated local coverage," Jasper noted.
We'd done what we could. Lonnie wouldn't be able to hunt any more women for a very long time. It had been right to trust Carlisle and Edward to handle this, and I was glad I hadn't been alone for the encounter. It turned out, I was also glad I never had the chance to kill him, even if I lacked any remorse whatsoever about beating the shit out of him. However, I wouldn't complain if he got sent to Texas. With his history, he would probably be eligible for the death penalty there and just because I was glad I didn't personally kill him didn't mean I wouldn't be equally happy to see him dead.
"Did you find anything out about the other men that were with him?" I rubbed my hands together expectantly.
Edward sat fastidiously on the couch between myself and Jasper who was now flicking through the channels too quickly for the television to keep up. It flickered through images, sometimes freezing mid-frame.
"Yes, but they were not of the same depravity as Lonnie." He reached for a manila file that was resting on the coffee table. I noticed it when I sat down but hadn't bothered to see what it contained. Inside were the profiles of four men; the first being Lonnie. His rap sheet was extensive and violent as I expected. We had been far too kind with him. Death would have been too kind. I was hoping for Texas again.
The other three sheets described a series of men that were simply less-than-average-Joe's. Two of them had some history with petty crime, but mostly nonviolent theft or misdemeanor marijuana charges from before the state went green. The last didn't have a record at all.
"It seems those three fell in with Lonnie only recently and had no idea what kind of person he was. Apparently, he told them he was only going to 'scare her a little,'" he pulled air quotes around the last words. "I didn't see any reason to punish them further, as your antics with the car seemed to straighten them out." He chuckled.
I opened my mouth with a ready retort but Alice interrupted with a high-pitched squeal of delight. Jasper paused in his furious channel-switching and turned to his wife warily. When Alice was this happy about something, one of us usually ended up on the worst end of it.
She saw us watching her and tittered wickedly but gave no further explanation.
"Darlin'?" Jasper asked carefully. Instead of gracing us with an answer she joyfully skipped away. We looked to Edward for an explanation instead.
"It might be time for you to purchase a car you're willing to drive regularly, Emmett," Edward said with an exaggerated sigh and handed me his Volkswagen fob.
"Ah," Jasper needed no further explanation.
"I miss the Jeep," I frowned down at the little fob in my hand. Maybe I could get a smaller Jeep. One that wouldn't require a step stool for La to climb into.
What a waste of good engineering. I pocketed the fob, resigned to leave my beloved truck gathering dust in the backup garage.
"You don't mind?" It was the wrong question - of course he would rather not lend his car away every day.
"And let Alice miss her chance to show off?" He tilted his head in Alice's direction, who was all but vibrating with excitement at the chance to drive her car to campus.
"Fair enough." I hopped over the back of the couch and made my way toward the garage door. It was best to take him at his word. "See you at school."
"Today?" Alice called as I opened the door. I paused on the threshold. There didn't seem to be any point in keeping La and Alice apart anymore. Not now that I was out of the closet. Would La want a vampire as a gal-pal? I supposed it wasn't any worse than getting romantically involved with one, and I so genuinely hoped she wanted to be romantically involved.
"Give me the weekend," I parried instead of offering a real answer. Nothing would put Alice off for long, but it was worth the effort until I was ready.
"Okay," she allowed with a sly smile. "I'll wait for as long as you want, but La and I are going to be great friends. You're only delaying the inevitable."
"Hmm," I didn't have an answer for that so I let her words haunt me on the drive back to La's.
I was just being stubborn, but in my defense, pigheadedness was essentially written into my DNA. If I was truly honest with myself - and I really didn't want to be - this persistent delay in integrating La into my family was mostly due to a bucketload of self-doubt. Something that was supposed to have been cured with vampirism.
How would one explain the concept of doubting oneself to a person, like Alice, that was incapable of understanding? Alice, even more than the rest of my family, would never have had the chance to feel this way since she remembered nothing from being human. Her foresight eliminated any further chance once she had transitioned. Though, maybe I wasn't giving my family enough credit. They had already proven they would forgive me anything. Wouldn't they also forgive a short bout with anxiety?
La was still rushing around inside the house when I arrived. I listened to the sounds of her haste; feet stomping down the stairs, glass bottles in the fridge clashing together as she shoved things around, and the violent slam of a cabinet. It made me smile to think she was in a hurry to get to campus. I had been worried that the events of the night would look a lot different in the light of day. Hearing her rush helped ease some of my self-consciousness. It told me I wasn't alone.
The sound of her pounding feet neared the door. I stood straighter as she flew out of the house and rushed over to her car. Her wild movements made the messenger school bag swing off her shoulder in an arc but she caught it in the crook of her elbow with a practiced movement. The strap caught at the loose fabric of the thick wool sweater she wore and tugged it over, exposing her right shoulder. She immediately scrunched in against the cold mist hanging in the air.
The sweater was big, bulky, and quite clearly chosen to make up for her lack of a jacket. It was a shame though. The frumpiness of the thing disguised the natural beauty of her figure and did nothing to speak of her usual whimsical fashion choices. The blouse she had worn last night had been a perfect example. The cut of it had been perfect for her shape, hugging her curves in exactly the right places, the vee in the neck deep enough to show just the barest hint of skin. I'd been unable to take my eyes off her.
On second thought, it was probably better for me that she had chosen to wear something so bulky after last night's emotionally charged discussion. It would be easier for me to keep my mind off dangerous paths. It was hard enough resisting the temptation of her blood, to add in the temptation of her flesh would be tantamount to failure.
Still, my eyes lingered on her lips, and the glimpse of a collarbone seen through the neck of her sweater. Her long, black tresses had been tied into an extremely messy bun on top of her head that left curls sticking out in every direction. It created a halo around her head that collected wisps of water as she passed through the wet air. The style revealed the hollow of her neck, and a divot behind her ear that begged for a kiss. I imagined how soft her waist would feel under my touch… how warm her skin would seem beneath my lips.
But I couldn't touch her, I reminded myself for what felt like the thousandth time. I would never forgive myself if I accidentally hurt her.
La opened the trunk of her car and still hadn't noticed me. I gave a minute cough to catch her attention. She paused and turned slowly toward me. When her eyes landed on mine her face switched in an instant from startlement to delight.
"Care for a ride?" I asked as casually as I could manage. Did she hear the frog in my throat?
"Yes, please!" She grabbed her bag and handed it to me without comment then seated herself in the passenger seat. I skipped to the driver's side without bothering to hide my speed. Either she didn't notice or didn't care to react - either way it made me ecstatic that she seemed just as comfortable today as she had last night. Another little knot of anxiety eased.
As I backed out of her driveway I noticed her attention lingered on the jacket I left on the seat shoulder for her use.
"I brought my jacket for you since Jessica still has yours," I mentioned casually. "I didn't want you to get sick… or something…." Awkward….
"I'm not quite that delicate," she harrumphed, quietly and avoided my eyes. Her gaze wouldn't come further up than my chest. I wondered if I had misread her body language. Perhaps she wasn't as comfortable as I imagined she was.
"I beg to differ," I demurred. Her delicacy wasn't in her stature, or her emotional ability. It wasn't that she couldn't handle herself, as she had proven over and over that wasn't the case. I just couldn't help but envision how strong she would be if she wasn't human.
I watched her expression curiously as she pulled the jacket down and slipped her arms gratefully through the sleeves with clumsy movements. She'd already buckled her seatbelt and had trouble getting the jacket on with the strap across her chest.
Once it was on she nuzzled into it so deeply the neck came up around her ears. In a quick movement, she buried her face into one side of the jacket and breathed in. When she emerged she wore the exaggerated smile of a contented cat. I grinned at the expression.
"What happened to your hair?" I asked instead of remarking on the smirk. On closer inspection, the style I had been admiring moments before seemed to be more of a massive knot in her hair that gave her the look of being attacked by a very confused bird. She flipped the visor down and stared into the mirror, horror-struck. Her fingers immediately went to the band and shook it out, face flushing lightly with embarrassment. She attempted to smooth the unruly mess out by running her fingers through it, but it was hopeless. Whatever had happened would require a brush to correct.
She didn't speak as she continued to work her fingers through her hair. I wondered if she was as unsure as I had been that morning on how to proceed after our heavy conversations from the night before.
"No twenty questions today?" I was trying to break the ice, but she seemed too absorbed by the riot her hair was making to take notice of my effort.
"Do my questions bother you?" She retorted, pertly, then snorted and re-tied the knot in her hair; she'd given up.
With that, the ice was broken. We bantered lightly throughout the short drive, slowly growing more comfortable with our newfound freedom of veracity. By the time we arrived on campus, we were speaking more naturally, and even allowing some of our discussions from last night leak into our conversation organically.
Alice's Porsche was parked in the usual Cullen spot, though my siblings were nowhere in sight. A large crowd of people were gathered around Alice's ridiculous car forcing us to navigate around them. La skittered along the outside of the group, putting me between herself and the crowd, taking quick steps to keep up with my longer gait. Upon noticing this I shortened my stride to make it easier for her.
We bickered our way across the lot. La was in high spirits, her laugh came easily, accompanied by that outrageous snort she made occasionally. My heart leaped when she giggled, it was like winning the best of all prizes. I caught sight of Jessica just after we passed the crowd of students. She was standing on a walkway between buildings, peering toward the lot with eyes narrowed as if it would make her vision clearer. She wore a deep frown and kept adjusting a jacket in her arms.
It took a few seconds more for Jessica to find us, but as soon as she did, she hopped up onto her toes and began to wave frantically at us - as if we would have missed her otherwise. I barely refrained from rolling my eyes. It was obvious we'd seen her and were making our way toward her. Where did she think we were going?
The wretched girl watched us critically as we approached, eyes popping wide with disbelief. I looked down at La to see if she noticed Jessica's harsh judgment, but La was skipping blithely along, completely composed. Either she didn't notice Jessica's rudeness or was entirely unbothered by it.
My money was on the latter.
"Hey!" La said warmly to the girl, despite her rudeness, once we were within hearing range. "Thank you so much for remembering!"
Jessica gave no response and continued to stare at me in fascination. The glare made my skin crawl with its near vacancy. I imagined the things she was shouting in her head and swallowed back a snarl. I settled for an icy smile that did nothing to break Jessica's enthrallment. La took her jacket gratefully, breaking the spell, and agreed to talk to the girl later. Jessica shifted her glare away from me to turn a long, piercing look at La, who blew a strand of her hair out of her face and glumly watched her friend walk away. As soon as Jess was out of sight La's expression turned mulish, almost pouting.
"What are you going to tell her?" I asked, suddenly in a much better mood without Jessica's presence. La harrumphed and shrugged out of my jacket, letting it slide down to her elbows before twirling it off. She held it up for me, then slipped her arms through her own in a swift movement too quick to require assistance. My hands were held out, ready to hold it open, but she never looked up to see the offer. It occurred to me that she probably never had anyone offer to help her with the little things before.
"I thought you weren't the mind reader." She continued to frown in the direction Jessica had disappeared.
It took me a few seconds to realize we'd been thinking the same thing at the same time. My stomach made an odd little flop with the realization. That was unexpected but very, very cool.
"I'm not, but I don't need to be to see what she's expecting." A slight breeze ruffled the air around us. La shivered and pulled her jacket closer over her chest. It caught at her hair and sent several pieces tumbling out of the knot. One landed across her cheekbone. It cast a slight shadow there, making her flesh look bruised.
"Any ideas on what I should tell her?"
The tendril dangled and danced in the air. My fingers burned and itched to brush it away. I wanted an unobscured view of her face. I caught the hair and pulled it through my finger and thumb, marveling at the texture, again; like rough spun, raw silk. I remembered when the Fungus had touched her hair not so long ago just like this. She had flinched away from him and maintained the distance.
She didn't flinch away now. In fact, she leaned in slightly, lips parted, eyes wide.
I twirled the strand into the knot on top of her head and deftly tucked it under itself so it wouldn't fall out again.
"Well," I started to say but paused. This seemed like the do-or-die moment. It wasn't quite the way I wanted to make our relationship official, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity, either. "If you want, you could tell her we're dating and let her make her own assumptions from there?"
"Are we though?" She asked at once. Her heart was thumping unevenly. "Dating, I mean."
Was that a yes? "I think it's easier than any other explanation." It was certainly easier than explaining she was the only woman in all of eternity I would ever love, that when she was in a room there was no one else. It was easier than explaining the momentous change she had wrought within me; a light in the darkness where I never knew I needed one. The most beautiful creature in the world because there would never be another.
I cleared my throat. There was no way to express any of that. Not yet, not right now. "See you in class?"
Her jaw snapped shut as if she were landing back in reality. I grinned and turned to walk away before she had the chance to gather herself. As I walked I noticed the astonished looks passing between myself and La. I laughed loudly at one particularly rude look from a member of La's lunch group. The boy with the stringy black hair and poor skin was staring at us open-mouthed.
Who could blame him? Who could blame any of them? Not a single member of the Cullen family had ever deigned to offer attention to anyone before. Now suddenly, one of us was driving someone to school and walking them to class. This was the type of sensationalism small towns lived for.
The sodden grass smushed beneath my feet as I sprang toward the math department, sliding almost imperceptibly in the wet soil. It may be cliche, but I felt as though I could soar. I was on top of the world. Everything was falling directly into place. It gave the illusion that maybe, just maybe, La would survive this.
Edward was already seated when I got to calculus. I swung my leather jacket on before I sat down next to him and reveled in the bombardment on my senses. The jacket had absorbed her scent into its fibers very well. Hopefully, when next I saw her, it wouldn't be such a struggle to acclimatize.
"You're in a better mood," Edward murmured from the corner of his mouth.
Of course I am, I thought back to the moment La agreed that we were dating. It was possibly the best news I had ever received since becoming a vampire. I never thought there was anything missing from my undead existence until this lucky addition of such happiness.
Edward's face pinched with resigned humor and something I didn't quite recognize. "I don't know if I should be happy for you, or alarmed at how emotional you've become. This is not like you."
He was joking… probably. I snickered anyway.
"Are you going to camp with us this weekend?"
Camping again? We just went on a big trip…
"Yes, but it will be sunny for a large portion of the day on Saturday. Jasper doesn't want to waste the opportunity."
Of course he wouldn't, and normally I would be all for it. Unfortunately, I already promised La I would take her to Seattle. Except, if it was sunny, I wouldn't be able to go.
"You could stay inside and play board games," Edward suggested. He only just kept a straight face. I flipped him off. He chuckled, and added, "She will understand if you cannot take her, I am sure."
"That's not really the problem," I whispered, but he had a point. I could offer to do something else for the day. Something that kept us inside… or maybe just away from the public eye. I had promised to show her why I had been absent so many days in a row recently. Now was as good of a time as any. I just had to hope she wasn't so set on Seattle that she turned down other ideas.
"You could read poetry to one another," Edward made another brilliant suggestion. I turned a dead glare at him. "No? Haikus aren't for you?"
"No."
"The woman awaits," he went on dramatically. "She will flee from your glow. Scared," he broke off his sentence for emphasis. "Of thirsting like you."
"Oh god."
"That's alright," he waved a hand at me. "How about a jigsaw puzzle? I believe we have a few in the attic."
"Stop."
"I forgot you don't like puzzles. Too many tiny pieces." He pretended to wrack his brains for another genius idea. "You could create a scrapbook, or go birdwatching!"
I hate you.