!WARNING! THIS CHAPTER MAY CONTAIN SOME SENSIBLE TOPICS!

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Dimitri POV:

How did my mood changed so drastically? When the reassignment got through I was over the moon, being with my child and Rose for a period of time to keep them safe is all I could ever wish for as a Guardian. I still can't believe Lissa used a little bit of compulsion on the Queen. And Adrian tried charming his 'favorite great-aunt' so that she should agree. As for Abe, one can only imagine how that went off. Rumors are, before she got Queen she asked for a favor from Abe and now it was payback. Queen got Hans Croft to agree and she herself too with a little raise even. All this went off in a couple of hours and so here I am.

Arriving at St. Vladimir's, I made my way to Rose's dorm but soon found out she wasn't there and so I went to Headmistress Kirova. Actually a worrisome Headmistress from her looks with my baby in her arms and trying to sooth her. Not even I could sooth her. As it happened, according to Ellen, Rose never went alone to buy diapers, always another Guardian with her or Abe is sending them. This time she's alone, a van is missing and she didn't told anyone where she's going. Alberta found a still unopened note near the cars from Victor stating;'Remember, no Guardians. COME ALONE! V.D' ..I know my Roza isn't stupid and if she wants to be found, she will let the Guardians know, but in this case she didn't wanted to be found because somehow the tracker wasn't working and no one knew where she was. Now we all wondered how many notes she really got, at least 3 I would guess. The first, we all know of, the second must be on planning a meeting and this third now remembering her to come alone. Or were there more?

I was sick with worry, I wanted to jump in a car and drive in hopes to find here but I knew it would be fruitless. Calling her was of course useless too. We made a plan to wait 2 more hours if there's no further news, we would've send out a search party. After little waiting and making a plan with Alberta she got a call about Victor being in custody again. We hoped it was Rose who called the Guardians on him. And if so, she should come back very soon.

In all that time, I had two destinations. Every now and then I checked on my daughter and oh my heart.. even she seemed out of sorts, not like her usual happy self. Nothing cheered her up. Rose once said she loves crawling in the gym because it's big and she has a lot of space to do so. Not even this helped. I brought her back to the Headmistress so I could check again with the Guardians if there are any updates. They unfortunately had none and in my despair I went to Rose's dorm again and paced the floor. I was furious she agreed to meet the man without any backup or telling anyone where she's going. I was worrying over her, I know Rose is a badass Guardian and definitely one of the best but even they sometimes lose and that happens every day. Arthur Schoenberg is just one example now..One of the best too but Rose and I found him dead with his charges. Doesn't she care one bit for her daughter? What would happen if she dies? Yes, I'm still there forever and always but Masie also needs her mother.

And now, I screwed up. My emotions from the whole day were bubbling over and I couldn't stop them. I never even wanted for her to understand what I was muttering on Russian.. and my woman surprised me again by understanding my native language. More importantly, I was wrong. From the moment it slipped out I knew I was wrong. Angry people are not always wise. I know how much I hurt Rose with my stupid comments while fighting but when she told me what really happened in detail nonetheless, I needed to leave the room before things get even more uglier than they already were.

It's been one day now since we last talked, she talked with Alberta on staying for at least until every Graduate leaves and plans on working those days to keep out of my way and I'll babysit our daughter, gladly. If Rose has something to say to me regarding Masie she writes a text message otherwise she's pretty much ignoring me.

On the fourth day without any real contact I take it upon myself to try and stop this. Because I know she doesn't want to see me I write her a text that I'm sick and tired of her behavior. It may sound harsh but it's nothing but the truth. She's working now four days in a row, with doing extra hours after her shift usually ended. Rose barely even saw her own daughter in the past days. Normally she could already have left for Summer break 2 days ago. After getting a favorable response with a time and place where to meet, I ask the Headmistress if she can watch Masie because I would need to a talk with her mother. Kirova's response is I should kick some sense into her. This almost makes me chuckle.

"I almost thought you wouldn't come." I say as Rose finally appears in the forest.

"I was once standing at your spot too many months ago when Lissa told me I could conceive with other Dhampirs." she looks at the spot with some kind of nostalgia in her eyes. What does that have to do with the topic I most certainly want to talk about? And how best to approach her now? "I hoped, I even prayed there would be no baby. You were still my mentor, the forbidden fruit, so to say.. We were nothing, we may have had sex and made promises but nothing more.. At that time though, there was a baby.. our Masie."

"Rose? Why are you telling me all this?" I swallow. Fearing a little with what will come.

"In those 5 months we were apart, I found out I was pregnant again." I search her body for any signs but I find none, how? Nevertheless a second baby? It would be a little early but wonderful. "I had a miscarriage Dimitri. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I thought I let you down, and I thought I'm a shame for you. A strong healthy Dhampir who can't even carry a baby past the 14th week. And most of all, I couldn't face you or talk to you because I blame me. I was constantly saying to you, no second baby. And what's worse, my hopes and prayers. I'm a fucking failure!" her voice breaks off and she starts sobbing. Before thinking I take two steps and pull her in an embrace. Damn, she went through all of this alone..

"Roza, never. It doesn't matter what happens, you will never be a failure or a shame. How you could think that, my love? You are also definitely not to blame. it can happen, also to Dhampirs." Trying to sooth her, and myself also trying to hold up. I wonder who else knew?

"I was happy. I had Masie and the baby to keep me company until we are reunited. The months went by more easily.. I wanted to tell you by showing my belly to you and maybe another gesture.. By then it would have already be roughly the end of the fifth month.. I got pregnant when you were here for 3 weeks."

"I would have loved that.. I am so sorry you went through this alone. God Roza, I feel awful."

"Don't, you couldn't know. Only Dr Olendzki knows because I went to her for my sonograms and my suspicion of being pregnant." She still sobs and I bet this won't stop soon, I don't blame her for crying. "I avoided you after our fight because of the miscarriage and what you would think of me, it is already bad enough you have such a low opinion of me now after what I've did and the fight. In some way I even agree with your assessment about me being a child or about what you said at the Ski Lodge now after further reflection. I left Masie that night with you because I was pissed and as I said wanted to avoid you. Who does that? That is childish..and the past few days? I took up extra shifts and worked overtime only to avoid you further, which is also childish of me. Because of.. well your low opinion and my failure. I barely got to see our daughter which was even worse.. Probably for the best there's no second child on the way after my behavior."

Seeing her thus breaks my heart, how must Rose have suffered? And was afraid to tell me? I can't begin to comprehend how she must have felt and still does. Pregnant again, finally happy in our separation because of the pregnancy and our daughter.. Making plans on how to surprise me with the news.. Only to receive bad news which popped up her little bubble she lived in. Right now in this moment I am so glad I got reassigned to Masie temporarily and can be with both. And what am I doing? I call her a child while she went through the most hurtful situation, alone at that.

"Please don't avoid me again in the future. No, I'm completely wrong Roza, those were words spoken in anger. I never had a low opinion of you. Never in my life. I can understand your motive. But it also doesn't change the fact that we were all so worried. Seeing you covered in blood and you acted like nothing happened, it triggered something in me, you can't imagine how I felt. It was wrong of me to say you're a mere child."

"Promise me to not pressure me for a second child. It was complicated enough.. I found out pretty early, around the 4th week after you left. Quickly fell in love with our baby, I mean how could I not? The baby was let's say 'a product' of our love. After few more weeks Dr Olendzki found no heartbeat anymore. She herself took me to the nearest hospital and stayed until I could leave again. Dr. Olendzki spoke with Kirova because of Masie but didn't say a word as to why we went to a local hospital. According to the doctor it was a missed miscarriage." She's explaining me. Thanks the Lord for Dr Olendzki. "I really have no clue how I could think Condoms would be a safe choice for us. Just look at you. I got the IUD now. No need for condoms anymore. Hated them anyway." Instead of answering I just pull her even closer to me, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. There's no answer needed, just comforting her. What she didn't told me though, was that she most definitely felt powerless and that's something she doesn't like.

Sitting there with Rose, makes me wonder if Masie is truly a miracle and maybe once in a lifetime or Shadow-kissed Dhampirs really can conceive with other Dhampirs like Moroi with Dhampir.. We really would need more information about Shadow-kissed before even thinking about a sibling for Masie, because I don't want to make Rose go through that again. She never should have gone through that at all, or at least not alone.

Rose POV:

Telling Dimitri about the miscarriage was long overdue I realize. I feel like a weight is lifted from my shoulders. Why was I even so stupid as to not tell him and avoid him at all cost? He also had a right to know, he was the father.. So so stupid of me. I know he wouldn't pity me, or treat me with gloves. Maybe deep down I just didn't want him to be hurt? I can still recall his reaction when he finally believed he really is the father, or when our daughter came into the world.. Dimitri was ecstatic, never seen him so happy. Such news would have devastated him. He doesn't want to admit it but I saw the hurt in his eyes even if he tried to hide it. Right now I would understand if Dimitri would even be angry with me for not telling him sooner.

"Come on Comrade, we got a plane to catch." Squeezing his hand before lifting my head to press my lips on his. God how I missed him. I was an idiot.

After a long and exhausting flight we finally arrive at Court. Masie handled her first time flying better than I thought. I'm just so looking forward to arrive at our newly much needed renovated house thanks to Tasha. 2 months at Court, in our home with our little Munchkin having her own room. And more so, Dimitri being there every single day.

It took us around a half hour to unpack all of Masie's stuff in the nursery, setting up the room like we find it best. Putting the crib in the middle of the room, when the room is already not that big well let's say that wasn't very clever. We couldn't even fully open the closet. And with the changing table, we have no real space because the bed was in the middle. It was set up beautifully before but really impractical.

I look around the room now, with Dimitri holding his arm around my waist and Masie on his other arm. I gotta admit, we are a lovely family.. how did I deserve a man like Dimitri on my side with all my stunts I've pulled it's really a wonder he's still by my side even if it's rough and mostly because of me. But hey, no one said a life with Rose Hathaway would be easy.. hopefully enjoyable though?

A loud knock brings me out of my reverie, a quick glance to my boyfriend tells me he doesn't expect anyone. I also think about just not opening, so I could spend some time alone with my little family upstairs.

"Lissa! Christian!" I exclaim happily while throwing my arms around both. What the heck? Hugging Christian? "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Lissa said with a grin. I could sense she is here with a purpose but hides it well. She got so good at it, damn.

"I actually missed you too, a little only, but you will hear that once in your life from me.. Oh by the way Rose where's your little monster?"

"Yes Sparky. Upstairs with her father. Go on." As soon as Christian is gone, I pull Lissa to the living room and we sit down on the couch.

"Have you told Dimitri yet?" She looks at me with a curious look on her face but to be honest I don't get what she's asking me. "You two must be over the moon."

"Tell him what? I'm confused right now."

"About the baby of course! I could sense it, as if there was a second bond, and I knew that must be it. It was the same with Masie. Her bond broke when you gave birth though." I gasp at the information, but then why didn't she felt the bond breaking when I had the miscarriage? It is useless in denying or withholding it if she could feel it. I take a deep breath and look at her.

"Your second bond broke too I'm afraid." I swallow down the lump in my throat. I see Lissa contemplating my words and she finally realizes what must have happened. My best friend doesn't say a word only hugs me tightly. It is all I need. I don't need words of condolences or other words from people who haven't experienced the same.

After few more minutes she hands me a note in unfamiliar handwriting. Opening it and reading the content makes me want to scream in frustration. I just got a summoning to Queen Tatiana and I should bring Dimitri with me. She even applied subtle to bring Masie, but I'll ignore this part. There's no way I will bring my baby to a Queen Bitch meeting. Her first words shouldn't be Fuck off Bitch or even worse, sanctimonious Bitch.

There we are, waiting to the door to get opened to let us in for our meeting with the Queen. Both of us are wearing our Guardian attire, my hair tied up to show off my tattoos, same with Dimitri's hair.

"I swear comrade, one bad word against our daughter and I'm out." I whisper. The door is finally opening and letting us enter, presenting Tatiana sitting on a near looking throne chair as if we would be intimidated by that.

"Guardian Hathaway, Guardian Belikov." Looking at the two of us, I can see the Queen's eyes wandering to the door and to us, definitely expecting we would bring Masie. "How nice of you to stop by. Must be hard to find the time with a baby."

Is she kidding me? I'm not here by choice. Who in their right mind would choose to visit the Queen only to have small talk? I can think of better things to do in my free time.

"Your Majesty" Dimitri and I say in unison as a greeting. And of course I can't keep my mouth shut. "Why did we gotsummoned?" Emphasize on the word summoned. Dimitri on the other hand sends me a look that says I should keep my mouth shut or a least think before speaking.

"First, congratulations. Being a parent is a beautiful feeling." Uh, how can she know? I look at her I see that she's being sincere. I can't shake off a certain feeling which overcame me as I look again at her. Pain and sadness, but well hidden. It can only mean one thing, our Queen had a child too. Before I know what is happening she dismisses all her Guardian's. Dimitri and I only nod with a broad smile escaping our lips. "You may wonder why I send the Guardians away? I know you are shadow-kissed. That makes your baby special too."

So, what Victor said might be true after all? If of course the Queen says the same now. In some way I hope she does, than I could rub it in Dimitri's face that I was right and probably or even maybe good of me to meet Victor.

"We heard about that, but no specifics.. Your Majesty." I answer with a new found respect. Will she elaborate how she knows? From the corner of my eyes I see a sudden movement on the window sill, a flower growing. Oh God, there are only 3 people in the room, 2 Dhampir and 1 Moroi. Queen Tatiana Ivashkov is a Spirit User. Lissa and Adrian would have guessed or sensed another Spirit user?

Author's Note:

I wrote now about a heartbreaking moment for Romitri, it's actually heartbreaking for every couple worldwide, not only fictional. Before writing this chapter, I did some research on miscarriages and my mom had one too when she was in the 5th month, same with some other friends.. So I gathered over the years a bit of informations how some of them felt.

I apologize if it was in any way wrong or disturbing.