Chapter 16

A New Kind of Training

AJ's days spent trapped in the Sanctuary soon fell into a routine.

Every morning, she'd wake up early before Jade or Sammy, gather up her pokemon and what food she could scrounge from the kitchen, then head off into the brisk mountain air and make her way to the Sanctuary.

There, she would immediately get to work training. They'd start with cardio and calisthenics, take a break to cool off in the river, and then, by mid-morning, it was time for battle practice.

Sometimes, she'd bum around the mountain proper, looking to challenge the wild pokemon in the area, and she had some success. There was a memorable encounter with a surly Ursarang, and a handful of run-ins with Weavile or Golbat, but nothing too taxing. It quickly became apparent that, even if the wild pokemon on Mt. Silver were stronger than what you'd normally find in other parts of Johto, the bleak landscape made actually running across them something of a rare occurrence. It was ultimately a better use of her time to have her team just train against each other in the Sanctuary. Plus it was warmer there anyway and she wasn't likely to accidentally set off any more natural disasters.

Having her team practice battle against themselves wasn't the best solution either, however. While they were certainly at a closer level to one another, they'd done practice battles with themselves loads of times in the past. They knew each other's moves too well. If they wanted to get better, they needed new challenges, to face off against a wide variety of pokemon with a wide variety of typings and movesets. But aside from Jade and Sammy - who she'd also done practice battles with countless times in the past and who, though she loved them both, were absolutely not on her level - she didn't have much in the way of options.

The wild pokemon in the Sanctuary weren't much help either. While some of them had begun to warm up to AJ and her team, some even going so far as to bring them berries and nuts after a workout, or cool them off with flapping wings or gentle jets of Water Guns, they didn't have much in the way of battle experience. She supposed living in an idyllic, serene Sanctuary for your entire life would naturally lead to complacency. Being protected by Mewtwo and the other Legendaries meant they never needed to fight for themselves. And who would they fight against? No one knew they were here.

The Legendaries, on the other hand… Now there was something AJ had suddenly set her sights on. Not like Sammy, who was still desperately trying to study them despite his clear lack of tools, and not like your average trainer, who might be interested in catching one for themselves for greed or pride or whatever. No - AJ didn't want to catch one. She wanted to battle them.

Honestly, what greater training could there be? Legendary pokemon were all supposed to be stupid levels of powerful, and their skills and abilities ran the gamut of what pokemon could do. If she could get a few of them to agree to spar with her from time to time, her team's growth rate would skyrocket. And maybe - just maybe - she'd get strong enough to take down Mewtwo and get out of this place.

The problem was, what few Legendary pokemon she'd been able to find hadn't seemed interested in staying put long enough for her to ask for a bout. She'd spotted a Raiku at one point watching their training from atop one of the nearby hills and had made the mistake of calling out to it. It had bolted almost as soon as she'd gotten its name out of her mouth.

And the same sort of scenario played out with every one of them. She didn't make it a habit of studying up on every legend in the world, so she didn't know all of their names, but there was a time when something that looked like what might have been a Rapidash - if Rapidash were Ice-Type - came cantering by, and when she tried to hail it, it shook its head as though it were irritated and continued on. Then there was that giant grass-type Magcargo looking creature - the one that looked like it was made entirely of dead leaves and twigs - who slowly oozed its way straight through the middle of her makeshift arena, completely ignoring her and her pokemon as if they hadn't even existed.

It was getting to the point where she was considering just calling one of her pokemon out and provoking them to battle. The problem was, she didn't want to piss them off. If they thought she was a threat, they might gang up and attack her, or prevent them from entering the Sanctuary at all. And then where would she and her friends be?

One morning, just a couple of days after her argument with Jade, found AJ sprawled out on the grass after their morning workout. They'd eaten lunch, comprised mainly of what food they'd found in Sammy's bag - though even generous estimates seemed to indicate that wouldn't last more than a couple more days and then it'd be back to foraging. Stomachs sated, she'd recalled her team to let them rest and had collapsed herself, not willing to make the trek back to the cabin yet, or even to go looking for Sammy or Jade.

She was tired. She'd been pushing herself and her team extra hard as a sort of outlet for her pent-up frustration. But what else was she supposed to do? She literally had no other options.

Pichu was snoozing idly at her side, basking in the warm sunlight. AJ closed her eyes and tried to will herself into doing the same, but it was hard. She was nice and tired from the workout, and with the grass soft beneath her, the sunlight gentle and warm and the breeze pleasantly cool, it should have been perfect. It should have been easy. Instead, her thoughts seemed to churn with an unpleasant, chaotic energy, keeping her awake.

Before long, the sound of approaching footsteps caught her ear. She kept her eyes closed, though. There were only four other humans who could be in the Sanctuary, and one of them wouldn't be walking up to her so casually.

"'Lo, there," came Cole's polite greeting. "I can see you're workin' hard."

AJ opened one eye and peered up at him. He was grinning in that casually friendly way he had that she'd come to interpret as his 'I want something but I don't know you well enough to come right out and ask' sort of way. He could be weirdly polite at times, for a hermit. Then again, the revelation that he was her grandfather had been equally strange for both of them, and they'd never quite settled into a normal dynamic.

AJ grunted in reply, closing her eyes again.

"We just finished," she said. "I'm exhausted."

"I bet," he replied, grunting softly as he awkwardly lowered himself down beside her. Not for the first time, she found herself wondering how a man his age had been getting along up here with all of the hiking and bending and climbing he had to do.

"It's a lovely mornin'," he said, somewhat breathless, though that was from exertion and not from the wonder of the scenery. Still, it was true enough. She grunted again in response.

For a moment, peace stole over them, and AJ began to wonder when she'd stopped feeling as awkward and uncomfortable around him. Just a few days ago, she'd not wanted to be alone in his presence. True, she'd still rather be with Jade and Sammy - or even just alone, honestly, would be fine - but she'd slowly begun acclimating to his presence. He didn't really bother her anymore. He was even sweet, in his own bumbling sort of way. She didn't know what to think of this change or where it came from, but it was there, and there it was.

Finally, however, the silence proved to be too much for Cole, and he apparently decided that now was as good a time as any to get around to whatever it was that he'd bothered searching her out for.

"Listen," he said, already sounding hesitant, which was a clear indicator to AJ that he didn't think she'd take well to whatever he was going to say. "I'm old, see? And old people… Well, we're meddlesome. Dunno why. Just a truth of the world. Maybe we're just impatient 'cause we know we don't got much time left. Point is… Well. I wanted to talk to you about your dad."

AJ felt her muscles tense as though on instinct. First Jade, now him? Why wouldn't people just leave her alone?!

She draped one arm up over her eyes as though to block herself away from the world as she mumbled, "Well, I don't, so too bad."

"You really hate him, don't you?" he asked, but AJ didn't answer. She felt like her actions had made her stance on the man fairly clear.

After a moment, when it became clear that she wasn't going to speak, he let out a weary sigh.

"Well… If you won't speak to him, then… Maybe you'll speak to me." He paused, as though giving her a moment to do just that, and when she didn't reply, he said, "I heard about your fight with Jade."

AJ's eyes opened and she lifted her arm, confused.

"She told you about that?"

Cole nodded, looking sad.

"Seems like she just needed someone to talk to."

"And she chose you?"

Cole shrugged.

"Old people are easier to open up to. Another truth of the world."

That, and Jade clearly couldn't talk to AJ about it. Sammy would have been the obvious next choice, but then again, Sammy was usually too logical to be your sounding board. You couldn't really vent your problems to him because he always assumed you were asking for solutions, when usually, you just wanted to be heard. That, and he was probably off somewhere trying to carve a crude description of Mew's behavioral habits into a piece of bark like some sort of prehistoric caveman scientist.

"Anyway, talkin' to her got me thinkin'. See, I can tell you don't like your father. And that makes sense, I think, given what you've always thought about him. But your battle… You were far angrier than I think anyone expected. I guess I figured there must be somethin' more to the story. And maybe I'm just bein' a meddlesome old fogey, but… I'd like to hear your side of it. If you need someone to listen."

He was being a meddlesome old fogey. And it was annoying.

And yet… Maybe he was right. Maybe there just was something about old people that made you want to pour your heart out to them. Maybe it was residual guilt over her fight with Jade. Or maybe it was because she thought if she explained herself, Cole would see her side and leave her alone about it.

But in any case, for whatever reason, she found herself beginning to speak.

"Do you have any idea what it's like?" she asked, gazing off toward the distant hills. "Having a father who's a household name? A father who's famous the whole world over? Who was one of the best battlers the world has ever seen?"

Cole shook his head, but AJ wasn't really waiting for a response. It was a rhetorical question. She was getting swept up in her anger and indignation again, feeling that never-dying ember in her heart kindle itself into a warm blaze. A tale as old as time, really.

"Everywhere I go, everything I do, everyone I meet… Somehow, in some way, connects back to him. I catch a pokemon? Oh, Ash had one that was stronger. I get a gym badge? Ash got his faster. Even when I finally became Kanto's Champion - the youngest champion in Indigo League history! - all anyone could talk about was how my battling compared to Ash's and how he would have done things differently. How he would have done it better! How I just don't compare!

"And if they're not comparing me to him and listing all of my faults in explicit detail, they're instead trying to pretend I am him! Here, have a Pichu as your starter because Ash is your dad! We cooked you some food for the road - it's fried chicken, your dad's favorite! Here, have a sweater - it's dark green, your dad loved dark green!"

Cole had a sympathetic look on his face, but she ignored it, avoiding his gaze. She didn't need his sympathy. She didn't know what she needed, but it wasn't that.

"It's like… like I just can't do anything right. Anything on my own. Every success I have is attributed to him - 'oh, of course she made it to the finals, she's Ash's daughter'. Though he would have done it better, of course, and won the whole thing. And when I fail? 'Oh, that's disappointing. Ash wouldn't have made that mistake.' I can never be my own person. I'm always expected to just be… him.

"But I don't want to be him. Every time I'm told I remind people of him, like it's supposed to be some sort of compliment, it just… it makes me so angry. Why on earth would I want to be like the man who left m… who left mom and grandma? So I decided I'd shut everyone up by proving to the world that I was better than him. Make it so they stopped comparing me to him, and instead compared him to me."

She flopped back on the grass listlessly, staring up into the cloudless blue sky.

"And then I get here and… What do you know? They were right. He completely wipes my whole team with no losses. Legendary pokemon frolic around him. He… he is better than me. My whole life, dedicated to one cause, and…"

She shrugged, letting her little rant die. No grand finale, no epic conclusion. Just a pathetic flop. Just like her.

The hillside was bright and sunny and warm, and yet for some reason, she felt cold. Hollow. Like there was this endless void that had opened up inside of her, a deep dark chasm of ceaseless yearning, and she had no idea how to fill it.

She'd lost her purpose. What was left for her now?

Cole let out a short breath.

"Ashlynn," he said, sounding exasperated, and she bolted upright again, looking incensed.

"Who told you that was my real name?!"

No one was allowed to call her that but her grandma and Professor Oak Senior! Especially not him! Especially not somewhere where Ash could hear it!

But Cole ignored her and continued on.

"You're my flesh and blood, which means you're not stupid. And if half of the things I've heard about my daughter-in-law are true, then I know she didn't raise you to be a fool."

AJ's jaw worked furiously, but no sound came out. First, he uses her real name, then he calls her an idiot? After she'd actually opened up and bared her heart to him like he asked?! She didn't care that he was in his sixties - she'd throw down with an old man!

"That fool battle you had with your father - Ash," he amended, seemingly noticing the look of fury on her face and deciding not to push her any farther than necessary. "I'm no battling expert, but even I know the reason you lost."

"Yeah, because he's a monster," she snorted, though internally she cringed because calling him a monster just seemed to add on to his unassailable persona as the greatest pokemon trainer ever and that wasn't what she'd intended and she hated it.

"No," Cole said, bluntly, then shook his head. "I know you know this. Ash is an incredibly gifted trainer. He's talented beyond all reason, with courage and drive that put most other trainers to shame, and a team of powerful, devoted pokemon that trust in him just as much as he trusts in them."

"That's more than one reason," AJ deadpanned, not interested in hearing yet another speech praising all of her father's accolades.

"I haven't gotten to that yet. Those qualities Ash has, those things that set him apart, that made him the best? Even after all these years, he possesses them all still. And I see every one of those qualities in you."

AJ, who had been tearing up blades of grass, trying not to pay attention, suddenly jerked her head up and stared at Cole in surprise.

"What?"

"You heard me. Honestly, the only thing Ash has on you right now is experience - but that's not why you lost. It gives him the upper hand, sure, but I imagine Lance had that same upper hand when you challenged him for the title of Champion, but you still won then, right?"

"But then… Why did I lose?"

"Because you let your anger get the better of you."

AJ stared, then turned and let her gaze sweep off into the distance, replaying the battle against her father in her head for the hundredth time, only now focusing on herself and her actions rather than what had happened with their pokemon.

"People talk a lot about the bond between a trainer and their pokemon - but for most, that's just lip service. Idyllic platitudes, the stuff you put in stories to give them that romantic flair. But for trainers who've reached the top, trainers who battle and become the very best - they know how important those bonds are. For a trainer to battle at their very best, they and their pokemon need to be of one heart, one mind. United under a single purpose. They have to know each other - trust each other, completely. Otherwise, things like hesitation, doubt, insecurity - they'll pull the team apart.

"When you challenged your father, you were literally out of control. All that hate and pain you keep bottled inside, it came bursting out. You were no longer in tune with your pokemon, and you charged in, guns blazing, not even attempting to strategize, and it became painfully easy for Ash to pick you apart."

He was right, she realized. Obviously, she'd known that she'd completely lost her head in that fight and she'd made some dumb calls - calls that got her Pichu and her Milotic badly hurt. But that was how she'd been viewing her actions in that battle this entire time - as the moral failing of a trainer who didn't care about the safety and well-being of her team. She'd completely neglected to consider the obvious tactical failing that came from letting her and her pokemon be completely ruled by emotion rather than reason and logic.

Battles needed passion, yes, but they needed strategy, too. Otherwise, she was no better than a charging Rhyhorn, running dead ahead in a straight line, unable to turn to avoid the approaching cliff.

But she knew this. Of course she knew this. This wasn't some revelation - some truth of battling she'd not understood until now. She'd have never beaten Lance, otherwise. Never have made it past the Elite 4. Never have even gotten through the Tournament. She'd still be some foolish rookie trainer, struggling to collect badges and failing at every other turn.

She'd really let her hatred of Ash throw all of her common sense out the window, hadn't she?

"So…" she asked, suddenly feeling the age gap between her and Cole and all of the years of wisdom he had on her, "do you think I… Would I be able to beat him if I could figure out a way to keep my head on straight when we battled?"

Cole shrugged uncomfortably.

"Well… Like I said, I'm no battle expert. And truth to tell, Ash… Well, he really is as good as they say. So I'm not gonna sit here and promise you that you'd win if you had a rematch. But I think I can promise with some certainty that it wouldn't go the same way as last time. I don't think there's any realistic chance that he'd be able to sweep your entire team without taking any losses himself. He may still win - he'd been at this for a long time and he's very, very good - but if you lost, it'd be a respectable one."

AJ doubted that there was any such thing as a respectable loss when it came to a hypothetical battle with her father. If she couldn't defeat him outright, what was the point? Still…

Vying for a light tone to ease up some of the heaviness of their conversation, AJ said, "I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to battle Ash without losing it and trying to maul him."

Cole turned to her and offered her a sympathetic smile.

"Oh, I don't know about that. I think you sell yourself too short."

She snorted.

"You saw the way we battled the other night."

"Yes. But I'm also seeing the way you're sittin' here and talkin' to me right now."

AJ stilled, feeling uncomfortable.

"Why is that?" he pressed. "Why can you talk to me but not to him?"

"That's not… It's different."

"Is it? I abandoned you too, you know. I did it first. And in a way, isn't me being here at all the reason why Ash vanished in the first place? If you think about it, aren't I the one to blame for all of this? Why don't you hate me as much as you hate him?"

AJ kept her gaze fixated down on her knees.

"...I do hate you," she said, softly.

Only they could both tell that was a lie. Her words carried absolutely none of the heat that they'd held earlier when talking about their father.

She didn't hate Cole. She wasn't happy with him, exactly, but she'd also come to understand that it wasn't his fault - that he was very much a victim in all of this, too. He hadn't wanted to leave Delia or Ash. He'd basically been abducted.

And while she wasn't sure that she necessarily forgave him - not that she really knew that there was anything to forgive, honestly, but the hurt was still there, somewhere - she couldn't deny that he was a nice man who was trying his best. And if she ever found a way to reunite him with her grandmother, well… She'd give it a chance, at least. If Delia wanted him back in her life, AJ wouldn't stand in the way.

But the same could not be said for Ash. Because no matter how similar their situations were, according to Cole, AJ knew that there was a world of difference. At least, to her.

Because Cole wasn't her father. Cole wasn't the person AJ had been constantly compared to for her entire life. The person whose very name seemed to steal away her thunder at every big moment. The shadow cast upon her every moment of glory. The insurmountable titan that blocked her path at every step.

She couldn't say that, though. She didn't have the energy for it. Not again.

So instead she defaulted to the admittedly petulant, "You wouldn't understand."

Cole nodded, accepting that that was the best he was going to get. But he still turned to her and said, "I know. But you know, there is someone here who would. Someone who knows exactly what it's like to find out that the father they thought had abandoned them was still alive."

AJ said nothing. In her head, she could hear Jade's voice from the day before, crying out in pain and jealousy and sorrow.

'Some people would kill for that chance!'

But she remained quiet, stewing in anger and denial. After a time, Cole patted her bracingly on the shoulder before leaving her to her solitude.

AJ wasn't sure how long she stayed sitting there on the grass. She kept trying to push her conversation with Cole out of her head, to stop letting Jade's words echo in the back of her mind, but it was useless.

Finally, in a fit of frustration, she pushed herself to her feet and started walking. To where, she didn't know. Somewhere. Anywhere. Anywhere that wasn't right there.

Her legs were short, but she was moving fast. Pichu, who'd awoken when AJ stood, had to scramble to catch up.

She wandered the Sanctuary for a time, taking advantage of the wide-open space to claim some much needed alone time. The tiny cabin was cramped enough, but with tensions as high as they'd become, now with Ash and Jade and Cole, none of whom she really wanted to speak to at the moment, the place felt more stifling than ever. It felt good to stretch her feet, to spend some quality time with her Pichu beneath the wide-open sky, the promise of a strange new sight around every bend.

However, try as she might, she couldn't get her thoughts to stop drifting back to Ash, which kept souring her mood. Why did Jade and Cole feel the need to meddle so much? Why couldn't they just let things be?

Worse, why was she starting to think they might be right?

She recoiled at the thought every time it crept into her mind, but there was a part of her that was slowly, begrudgingly, beginning to think that maybe she was the one in the wrong, here. Maybe she was being immature. Maybe. Just a little bit.

She still hated him. Still wanted nothing to do with him. Was still completely adamant that she did not need him in her life.

But that didn't mean that she couldn't at least take a stab at civility, right?

After all, Cole had had a point - if she couldn't even keep her cool in a normal conversation, how was she supposed to control her emotions if they battled again? And if they never battled again, if she never beat him, how was she ever supposed to really feel like she deserved to be the Champion?

She wasn't sure how long she walked around for, aimlessly climbing up and down hills, passing through clusters of trees, wading through fields of wildflowers. Finally, as she wound her way through a particularly twisty, rock-strewn pass between two unusually steep hills that looked like mini mountains, she found herself wondering if she should maybe try and find Sammy for some company. Talking with him might help get her mind off of things - and so far, of the three people she felt comfortable talking to right now, he was the only one not trying to push her into talking to Ash.

All thoughts of finding Sammy vanished from her head, however, as she rounded a large rock formation that opened the pass up into a broad meadow of sunflowers. She hardly noticed the flowers, however. She was too busy staring in horror at the large, fire-breathing reptile she'd nearly crashed straight into.

The Charizard stared back at her, looking equally surprised. Then, after a moment, its expression shifted to one of disdain. With a dismissive snort, one that expelled a breath of scalding air and smoke directly into AJ's face, it turned and stomped off, long tail swishing through the air, keeping the flame high enough above the ground to avoid setting the flowers ablaze.

AJ watched it go, feeling a mix of disgust and relief swirl inside of her. On the one hand, good riddance. She didn't want to see it, either. On the other hand, part of her was admittedly a little afraid. The memory of that fiery meteor crashing down on her Milotic was still vivid in AJ's mind. This thing was a savage.

Wait… If Charizard was here, then that meant-!

"Don't mind him," came a low voice from over to her right, and she jerked her head in surprise to find the last person she wanted to see sitting at the base of a boulder, eating an apple. "He treats everyone that way. I blame his upbringing."

Sitting there, cross-legged on the ground, mouth full of half-chewed fruit, he didn't look all that special. His hair was messy and unkempt beneath his tattered, iconic cap. His faded jeans looked threadbare, his jacket had more patches than not, and his shoes looked like they'd been mauled by a Mabosstiff; dirty and ragged and floppy-eared. She supposed none of that was really his fault - they didn't have many supplies to go around, and it wasn't like he could go shopping for new clothes - but it was still strange every time she saw The Ash Ketchum dressed like a hobo.

It was his eyes that she avoided, though. That familiar, glinting amber that had started out at her from a dozen photos in her family home growing up. His face was much more lined now, his jaw patchy with stubble, but it was still the same face. Still the same eyes. Still the same man.

Two powerful desires were warring inside of AJ, viciously tearing at one another, desperate to seize control. One wanted to turn on her heel and retreat the way she'd come. To not just leave - but flee, quickly, sprinting if she had to. Anything to get as far away from this man as quickly as possible.

The other half of her wanted nothing more than to draw back her fist and punch him. Hard enough to break his nose would be preferable, but just wiping that smile off of his face would be enough. He wasn't actually smiling - just sort of staring back at her with a look that clearly said he was just as caught off-guard by this random encounter as she was - but that didn't matter. In her mind's eye, he was always smiling - that same, insufferable, confidant smile that she hated so very, very much.

In the end, neither won out. Both desires seemingly tried to take control simultaneously which resulted in her taking an awkward, jerky step to the side as if her body wasn't actually sure what it was supposed to be doing - turning to both flee and strike him and instead doing neither and just looking like an idiot. She lifted her arm almost subconsciously, fingers balled into a fist, then instead scratched at her hat even though she wasn't itchy and crossed her arms over her chest. Her limbs felt like they'd been possessed by aliens.

If Ash thought anything strange about that, he didn't comment on it. Her insides felt like they were vibrating. What was she supposed to do now?! She lost her chance to storm off! But she didn't want to stay here and talk to him either! Gah!

Her conversation with Cole popped up in her head then, and she struggled for a moment to control herself. She could do this… She could totally do this. Maybe. Maybe she could view this as training? Like a random encounter with a pokemon - only it was her nemesis instead. Just… Breathe. Keep your interaction short, but civil. No fighting. No losing control.

Several awkward seconds had passed since her arrival, with AJ staring blankly ahead, arguing with herself internally, and Ash sitting on the ground, half-eaten apple forgotten in his hand, watching her with the same sort of wariness one might have if their picnic was interrupted by a half-crazed Primeape. If you didn't know any better, you'd almost think he was the one who was uncomfortable. Him! Ha!

Finally, after swallowing at least three times for no other reason than because it delayed her having to speak, AJ cracked her teeth open just far enough to ask, "...What do you mean by that?"

If her voice was excessively monotone, well… That was still better than shouting, right?

Ash stared at her blankly for a moment with a look of pure confusion on his face. Then he seemed to realize she was trying to respond to what he'd said before about his Charizard - the only thing that had been said so far, so that should have been obvious - and he replied, quickly, saying, "Oh, uh… He just has some hangups, that's all. He was abandoned by his original trainer back when he was young, so… He's slow to open up to strangers."

Bizarrely, there was something so utterly normal about someone telling a story about Ash or one of his pokemon that AJ found herself responding on auto-pilot.

"I know. Uncle Brock told me the story."

She half expected him to shut up. To realize from her curt tone and her closed-off body language that she wasn't interested in chatting.

Instead, his eyes seemed to light up for a moment as he said, suddenly excited, "Uncle-? Wait, are you and Brock close?!"

"Yes?" she replied, once again without thinking. What kind of dumb question was that? Of course she knew Brock. "I've known him my whole life - he's practically family. Jade's his only daughter."

She didn't know why she added on that last bit. Just because she was trying to be civil didn't mean she needed to tell him anything he didn't need to know.

Ash, however, was grinning, either ignoring or somehow oblivious to her less-than-friendly attitude.

"Wow… That's crazy! I mean, dad had mentioned- but I wasn't sure if I believed him since he's never met Brock. How's he been?"

AJ could feel herself closing up and struggled to remain calm.

"He's fine," she said curtly. That was all he was going to get from her.

Did he even know that Brock's wife had died? Probably not. It happened only a few months after Ash's disappearance. But she didn't want to talk about that. She didn't want to tell him anything more about his old friends and family than she already had. She didn't want to open up those floodgates and have to deal with whatever emotions he chose to exhibit as a result. And she didn't want to have to try and force herself to pretend to be civil during that conversation, because she knew full well she wouldn't be able to.

And if he even so much as dared to mention her mother's name…!

But he didn't. He didn't press for more information on Brock, or Misty, or his mother, or anything to do with his old life. Instead, he stared wistfully into the sky for a moment, a sad sort of smile on his face, before he shook his head as though to shake off the residual drops of melancholy and instead pushed himself to his feet.

Standing, he was a good head taller than she was. His face looked even scruffier somehow from this angle. She took a step back as though he were a frightening wild pokemon and she needed to keep her distance.

But he didn't attack, obviously. Instead, and with a smile that was only somewhat forced, he asked, "Well… Do you want to meet my team?"

AJ blinked.

Do what now?

Noticing her obvious confusion, Ash let out a short laugh and lifted a hand to rub awkwardly at the back of his head.

"Yeah, so… Honestly, I don't really know what to say in this situation. I've never been good at this sort of thing. When in doubt, I usually try to steer the conversation toward pokemon, so I guess I thought…"

He trailed off, laughing uncomfortably. AJ found herself staring.

Was he…

Was he nervous?

"Um…" she found herself saying blankly. "Sure?"

He smiled again, looking relieved, and then a moment later cupped his hands around his mouth and let out a loud whistle.

In less than a minute, his team had assembled around them, returning from the disparate parts of the sunflower field where they'd been minding their own business. She hadn't even noticed they were there. She'd been too fixated on Ash.

There was Charizard, with its surly glower. Venusaur, its massive flower looking especially lively under the dazzling late-afternoon sun. Blastoise, yawning, looking sleepy. Snorlax, actually asleep. And Espeon, who was examining AJ with apparent interest.

And of course, Pikachu, who was down on the ground now, chattering away with Pichu.

Ash made his introductions, though there was hardly any need. Not only had she seen them all in their disastrous battle the other night, she'd known all of their stories for years now. Heard them, over and over and over again, from her mom or Brock or Tracey or Gary or Professor Oak or literally anyone who'd ever met him.

And not just his current team. AJ knew nearly all of Ash's pokemon. Most of them personally. Because when he'd abandoned her, he'd abandoned them as well. Left forgotten on the Oak's ranch. Waiting for a trainer who had left them behind.

After his presumed death, custody of his pokemon had shifted to AJ's mother - but running a gym full-time in another city was a lot of work and she simply didn't have the time to take care of Ash's old pokemon, so she'd instead passed custody along to Grandma Delia. Delia had met with each of them, AJ had been told, to explain that Ash had been pronounced dead and that if they wanted, she would set them free.

A few of them had taken the deal, returning to their original homes, their lands and their packs and their families. And in the intervening years, a few had passed on. But most of his pokemon remained on the Oak Ranch, helping out the Oaks and their aides, visited regularly by Delia and by Misty and AJ on occasion when they were in the area. Hardworking and ever faithful. Still diligently waiting for a trainer who would never come.

Did he ever think about them? Did he even care at all?

Breathe, AJ… Just breathe…

Ash's team greeted her happily, with no lingering disdain or anger from their previous battle. They all seemed genuinely cheery and well cared-for. Well, except for Charizard - he just glowered and kept his distance like a brat.

The others, though, all seemed friendly and happy to meet her. Which was a surprise, but then, AJ's dislike towards them was entirely colored by their relationship to Ash. She shouldn't hold that against them, she decided as she reached up to rub Snorlax's belly, feeling Espeon brush up against her leg. It wasn't their fault who their trainer was.

All in all, that interaction had gone much more smoothly than she'd anticipated. She'd even done rather well keeping her cool and not blowing up. Maybe she could do this after all?

Lured into a false sense of security, the comfort of interacting with his pokemon instead of with him, AJ felt her next words slip past her lips before she had a chance to consider them.

"Do you want to meet my pokemon?"

Ash's smile - a mixture of surprise and delight and hope - was nearly as dazzling as the sun. Feeling strangely off-kilter and beginning to question if she was losing her mind, AJ reluctantly plucked four of the six balls from her belt and summoned most of her team.

AJ's pokemon seemed to share her initial discomfort, lining up and gazing warily at Ash and his pokemon as though not sure if they were supposed to be battling or not. But their fellow pokemon who had so ruthlessly dismantled them in the arena the other day greeted them with unfeigned geniality, and Ash seemed to be genuinely interested in getting to meet a new group of pokemon. To be fair, she considered, he'd probably only interacted with the same group for the last twenty years. Getting to see new pokemon - especially several who weren't native to Johto - was probably a breath of fresh air.

Ash worked his way down AJ's current team, one-by-one, stopping to greet each individually, admiring their poise, the sheen of their fur or feathers or scales, their musculature, asking for each of their stories.

And she found herself giving them. Hesitantly at first, but then seemingly pushing past her reluctance and allowing herself to simply speak. Talking to him wasn't easy, but it was easier when she was talking about pokemon - particularly her pokemon, of whom she was especially proud and always eager to praise.

And they seemed more than willing to accept it - from her and from him. He rubbed Arcanine's belly, fed Togetic a Sitrus berry from his pocket, bowed low to Aegislash as though greeting a king and even apologized to Milotic for the burn she'd sustained in their battle.

This… This was not going at all like she'd envisioned. Who was this man? What was going on?

"You know," he said eventually, pausing to laugh as Pichu scrambled up his back and stole his cap, biting the bill between his pointy teeth and racing off into the sunflowers with it, his Pikachu racing behind, "people sometimes say that you can tell a lot about a trainer from the pokemon they keep on their active team. I never put much stock in that before, but…"

"What does that mean?" AJ asked defensively, feeling some of her apprehension start to return.

She knew what he was referring to, vaguely. It was kind of like fortune telling, in a way - some sort of pseudo-science behavioral analysis you'd see middle-schoolers talk about, or in those click-baity online quizzes. Things like '10 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Boyfriend', and then claiming that your boyfriend having a Hypno means he's a closet rapist, or a Sylveon means he's secretly gay, or a Toxapex means he's a drug addict. Some took it a step further by claiming you could psycho-analyze a person's personality based entirely on what pokemon they carried on their team. It was all nonsense, of course, so for Ash to randomly bring this up out of the blue was strange and more than a little disconcerting.

But Ash didn't seem to notice her concern. Taking another bite of his apple that he apparently now remembered he'd been eating, he gestured toward her Arcanine, who was sniffing at a flower patch, and said, "Well, just take a look at you - you've got an Arcanine, the 'Legendary' pokemon. Famous for its unfailing loyalty and bravery."

He turned and gestured to Milotic, then to each of the other pokemon in her team in turn.

"Then, Milotic - also incredibly loyal, but sporting a beautiful and calming countenance, and very, very difficult to obtain. Togetic - another exceedingly rare species, one who's said to only appear to those who are pure of heart. Aegislash - this pokemon was said to have accompanied kings and emperors in days of old; its ability to sense innate leadership potential is unparalleled. And of course, your Hydreigon - perhaps one of the most temperamental and challenging to raise of all of the so-called 'pseudo-legendary' pokemon.

"Your team is an almost definite indicator that you were meant to be the Champion. That you assembled and command the respect of a group of rare, powerful, awe-inspiring pokemon all on your own - one meeting you for the first time would naturally be lead to assume that you're a brave," Here, he pointed again at Arcanine, "Loyal," Milotic, "Kind," Togekiss, "Diligent," Aegislash, "and fearsome trainer destined for the top."

AJ felt winded. On another day, she might be accusing him of trying to butter her up - those compliments were certainly a bit excessive, right? He didn't even know her, he was just trying to get on her good side! And yet… the simple sincerity in his tone, the utter lack of guile on his face… Did he… Could he actually mean all of that?

"And then there's your Pichu," he continued, and she felt herself lock up.

Here it was. She knew that was too good to be true. She'd let down her defenses and now he was going on the attack.

Angrily, she braced herself for him to make the comment - the same comment that everyone always made.

"If anything," he said, "your Pichu is the most telling member of your party. It shows that you didn't strategically pick out your team members to give off that impression - you're just using pokemon you like. It's really impressive. I'm not surprised at all that you were able to defeat Lance."

And now AJ was really confused. Where was the snide comment? The comparison to Ash - well, he was Ash, maybe he thought that was a bit awkward? But everyone had something to say about her starter - about what it was, why it hadn't evolved - and it was almost never anything kind. Even he had made a rude remark during their battle! But now suddenly, her Pichu was commendable? He really was just trying to butter her up!

While she was caught up in her own internal conflict, Ash turned to her with a curious frown.

"Does Kanto give out Pichus as starters now, or…?"

Not wanting him to get the wrong idea and think she'd chosen Pichu willingly, lest he think even for a moment that she'd picked her starter because of him, she quickly explained about what Professor Oak Senior had done and the 'special' starters she and Sammy had been given. Then, for reasons unknown even to her, she tacked on the completely unneeded additional fact that Sammy had been given a Ralts by his aunt as well.

If Ash thought that was weird, he didn't comment on it. Instead, he frowned and muttered something under his breath that sounded like, "If Gary had gotten two starters, I would have rioted..."

There was a brief lull in the conversation after that, and AJ felt her skin start to prickle. Talk. She needed to talk. Anything to distract herself from the fact that she was willingly lingering in his presence. Some part of her knew that didn't actually make any sense, but everything about this moment felt like a hallucination, so what did it matter?

For lack of anything else to say, she asked, "So… What does your team say about you?"

"Me?" he asked, then looked around at his team blankly. "I don't know… That I'm a ten-year-old who never grew up?"

In spite of herself, she felt a snort of laughter work its way out of her mouth. She clapped a hand over her mouth in surprise and anger, at herself for slipping, but the damage was done. Ash caught her eye and smiled again. She turned away.

Alright. She needed to get out of here. Something was wrong. She must have eaten something bad for lunch, or… Heat stroke? Something. Something wasn't right, that was the point, because she hated this man and she couldn't let herself forget that, even for a moment.

Before she could initiate her awkward retreat, however, Ash spoke up again, catching her off-guard.

"So where's your Hydreigon?"

She hesitated.

She didn't want to tell him about Hydreigon. Didn't want to voice aloud her failings as her trainer, how she hadn't been able to help her adapt, how she still wasn't able to control her in battle. He'd already seen how bad of a screw-up she was, she didn't need to give him any more ammo.

But for a wonder, for a brief moment, she found herself putting her anger and insecurities to the side to focus on Hydreigon. Everything AJ had tried so far with her had failed. But she could acknowledge now, especially after her conversation with Cole, that even if she was technically the Champion, she was still young and there was a lot she didn't know. And if there was one thing that Ash had over her, it was experience.

He'd been around. He'd seen a few things. She'd heard the stories, countless times.

Maybe… Maybe he might know something she didn't? Some way to help Hydreigon? To ease her trauma? To make her feel… safe? With AJ?

She didn't want to ask. Not him. Never him. She didn't need him. She never did. Never would.

…But maybe Hydreigon did. And maybe, as her trainer, it was time for her to put her pride aside and ask.

AJ took a deep breath. Then another, just because.

Then, turning to face Ash, she plucked Hydreigon's ball off of her belt and held it in her hand, gazing down at it.

"She's not… comfortable… with strangers…" she began.

And then she told him. Everything.

The whole story - about the traveling menagerie in Unova, the abuse she'd suffered, the night-raid AJ had participated in to free the captured pokemon from the smugglers, everything. She told him about her struggles raising her, how she'd evolved so soon, how she frequently lost control and lashed out at everything around her, and about everything she'd done and was doing to try to help her acclimate.

And he listened. He didn't interrupt, didn't make any judgy comments. He just stared at her and listened, his brows furrowed in concern, his expression so reminiscent of her grandmother that it almost made her ache.

The story took some time, but he waited, listening patiently, as she laid it all out for him. For once, her hate had taken a backseat, eclipsed by her concern for her pokemon. They stood together near the boulder she'd found him at, standing at the edge of the meadow while they're pokemon lazed about together, talking or playing or napping, as if this scene was completely normal. As if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

"...I basically have to carry her around with me everywhere," she concluded, feeling a little spent. "She doesn't trust Oak's aides and goes wild when she's on the ranch and I'm not there - but locking her away in her ball isn't any better than keeping her imprisoned like the smugglers, and I can't do that. Even releasing her doesn't seem to be an option - she spent most of her life in captivity, I don't know that she knows how to care for herself, and she's so strong. What if she causes a disaster and gets herself or others hurt?"

Ash was nodding along, a distant look in his eyes.

AJ shook her head, feeling lost.

"I don't know what to do. Brock says we should get a specialist involved - some kind of pokemon therapist who can help her, but I haven't had the time yet to look for one and they're not exactly easy to come by-"

"That won't work," Ash said suddenly, cutting her off, and she blinked. She'd been so engrossed in telling the story, she'd nearly forgotten who she was talking to.

"It won't?"

"No - Well, I mean, it's not a bad idea. She might benefit from it, eventually. You should probably still give it a try, especially if Brock says it's a good idea. But if your goal is to have her on your team, to actually fight battles with you, then there's a bigger hurdle you'll need to overcome, and therapy isn't going to help her with that."

AJ frowned.

"There's a bigger hurdle? What does that mean?"

"I mean, the reason you're struggling to control Hydreigon in battles isn't because of her trauma - well, not directly, at least. The problem isn't her fear of the humans who abused her. The problem is you."

AJ felt like she'd been sucker-punched straight to the gut. She flinched, every muscle in her body suddenly rigid.

Ash didn't notice. He continued talking, gazing into the distance, oblivious to the girl at his side.

"Every good trainer knows about the bond that exists between them and their pokemon. But for some, this bond is naturally stronger than others. For people, they say it's got something to do with psychic powers or aura or whatever - but the truth is, everyone can sense it. Psychics and those who can sense aura just have an advantage in that they can pick up on it faster.

"Certain pokemon are the same. Some types have a stronger sense of this - like psychics, ghosts, fairies - and yes, dark and dragon-types. But there are also certain pokemon who just naturally have this sort of sixth sense in them. Lucario, for example, or Hatenna. The problem is, Hydreigon falls into that category - she's not only a dark-type and a dragon-type, which is already bad, but Hydreigon as a species are also naturally in tune with people's emotions. It's how they make up for their poor eyesight."

He was just talking. Just rambling away now, completely oblivious to the world around him. AJ tried to calm her anger, tried to take deep, soothing breaths. Maybe he hadn't meant to insult her. Maybe he was just an idiot who didn't pay attention to what he said. It would be fine. Don't lose your cool. Remember, this is training. Training to beat him.

"The problem," he said, still going, still oblivious, "is that when you call her into battle, she instinctively reaches out to you empathically, looking for something to ground her. But you aren't grounded. What she's searching for isn't there. You're lacking it."

Togekiss, who was drifting lazily over a particularly tall cluster of sunflowers, suddenly stopped and turned around, gazing at her in concern. Milotic, who had coiled up on the grass, was now lifting her head. Even Arcanine and Aegislash had stopped and turned to look at her.

AJ hardly noticed, however. Her fists were clenched, shoulders quaking, and her vision had practically gone red.

Breathe… Don't blow up… Breathe…!

"Basically, you can give her all of the therapy you'd like, but she's never going to perform well on your team. Hydreigon isn't going to be able to get over her problems until you learn to get over yours-"

And she snapped.

"Don't," she spat, tone like acid. "Don't you dare…! You have no right…!"

Ash gaped at her, confused. He had no idea. But of course he didn't - how could he? He was never there.

She fought with herself for a moment, desperate to lash out, desperate to scream at him, to hit him, to do something…! But then Pichu was there, tugging on her pant leg, looking worried, and she forced herself to step away.

"Don't ever try to tell me what to do," she snarled before stomping off. "You are not my father."

She heard him call her name behind him, but she ignored him. She had no idea where she was going, but it didn't matter, so long as it was away from there.

Pichu was racing along behind her, and she could hear her other pokemon following, all calling out, voices filled with worry, but she tuned them out, too.

Her blood was thundering in her ears. That hate she'd almost managed to put behind her for a moment was back in her face again, roaring full throttle.

She'd actually let her guard down - actually let herself open up to him, like an idiot, and this is what happens. She wouldn't make that mistake again.

But how dare he? What gave him the right to try and talk down to her? Tell her what to do, tell her she was flawed and imperfect, as if she didn't already know?

As if he was completely oblivious to the fact that those problems were his fault to begin with.

Then again, he probably - no, certainly, was. He was just a selfish, oblivious idiot. And she didn't need him. Would never need him.

She'd figure this out on her own.