The first day of school is always the hardest… but for Wriothesley it was even more challenging. The year had already started but he needed more time to… adjust. Wriothesley had spent the last 7 years locked away in prison. He had only been in the outside world for 3 months and that time has been a huge adjustment. Trying to break his daily routine was extremely challenging. His life was laid out for him in prison. Wake up, eat, work, school, exercise, eat, and lights out. Now he had freedom of choice…? It was simply too much.
Thankfully he had his friend Clorinde. She was the only person he had left in his life from before his sentencing. She and her family had taken him in once he was released. The normalcy and familiarity was truly what was keeping him going. Thankfully, Clorinde's parents were very busy business entrepreneurs so they were rarely home. He was grateful… he wasn't ready to be around parents… not after what happened.
Wriothesley sat in the office, waiting for the vice principal to finish his paperwork. They had plenty of time to finish it… he wasn't sure why they were so disorganized. Nevertheless, he was happy to sit in the quiet office listening to keyboards clicking and gentle whispers. He had a stone cold face on, staring forward and shoulders tense. Wriothesley knew he wouldn't look like any of the students. He had gray and black hair, multiple scars, and was much more muscular than a lot of people his age. As a 17 year old, he looked more like 27. Looking intimidating got him around just fine in jail… it had to be an advantage here too.
"Okay young man… you are all set up for classes!" A smiling older woman said. She handed him a piece of paper. "This is your class schedule. If any changes need to be made please let me or your guidance counselor know. If anyone gives you trouble please don't hesitate to reach out."
"Thank you ma'am." Wriothesley stood up, shook her hand and took the paper. He examined the class list. It actually didn't seem bad. A lot of the topics had already been taught to him in his prison courses so passing should be a breeze with minimal effort. He can focus on himself and adjusting to his new life.
"Your guidance counselor will also be checking on you frequently so if you get called down to the office please do not be alarmed. We just want to make sure you're adjusting properly," the woman chirped happily. "We are here for anything you need!"
"I appreciate it. I will do my best." He nodded. "Where can I find my first class?"
"Oh, that's right! We have your class president waiting to give you a tour of the school! Your schedules are the same so he can help you throughout the day!" The vice principal led him to the hallway. Wriothesley groaned internally at the new development. He didn't have the social spoons to deal with the class president. They already sounded obnoxious and exhausting.
The vice principal went down a small ramp into the main entryway. There was a tall man changing signage on a bulletin board. Wriothesley was surprised at the class president. He had long blue and white hair braided down his back. His eyes seemed serious, yet they had a kind and gentleness to them. Wriothesley actually had the thought he could be friends with this guy. He pushed down the intrusive thought.
"Wriothesley, this is the senior class president, Neuvillette. He is going to be your guide today. If you could show him around the school first that would be great Neuvillete! Here are two hall passes for your first period. Please stop by the office if you need anything! Enjoy your first day!" The vice principal waved as she walked back to the office.
"Wriothesley was it?" Neuvillette asked, putting a hand out to shake. "It is great to meet you. I hope I won't be too boring as a guide."
"I'm sure it'll be fine." Wriothesley nodded and shook his hand. "Where should we start?"
"Well why don't we start with your locker? What is the number?" Wriothesley handed Neuvillette his paper schedule to take a look at. He couldn't tell you what set of numbers was his locker anyway. "Ah, alright it is located in the main hallway. I'll lead the way."
The two walked down the large hallway to a locker next to the gym at the end of the hall. Neuvillette showed Wriothesley how to use the combination and explained the basics of using the locker.
"Have you really never used a locker like this?" Neuvillette asked. The dark haired man sighed and set his book bag in the locker. He got out his needed items and closed it.
"Today is the first time I have used a locker, yes… Please dont make it weird, man." He said softly.
"I apologize I really did not mean to offend you or anything. It's just different I suppose. Did your last school not have any?" Neuvillette asked.
"Something like that. Where are the highlight areas? You know, like the cafeteria, first class, second class, outdoor fields, etc?" Wriothesley asked. "Any good hiding places for avoiding people?"
"Avoiding people? Don't like being social, do you?" Neuvillette chuckled softly as he motioned the other to follow. They walked down the hallway to the cafeteria, the art wing, the football and track fields, and finally to their first class.
"I like to be alone at times, yes… Thank you for showing me around. Should we catch the end of class?" Wriothesley asked.
"It ends in about 10 minutes so why don't we head to second period? We can chat more." Neuvillette motioned for him to follow. The other mentally sighed. He just wanted today to be over already, and yet the class president wanted him to "chat". He had nothing to chat about.
"So what made you transfer to this school if you don't mind me asking?" the class president smiled gently as he sat on a bench near their second period class.
"Personal reasons. My friend is here so I decided to join. Maybe learn a new thing or two." Wriothesley said. "Trust me you dont want to get to know me."
"Everyone should have their voice and story heard by another." Neuvillette said. "May I ask who your friend is?"
"Clorinde. You probably know her well. I think she's on the student council."
"Oh, yes of course. She's our class's vice president. Now that I think about it, she did mention a friend starting here this year. It's truly an honor to be the one to show you around." Neuvillette bowed a bit with a small smile.
"So, what made you become president?" Wriothesley asked, doing his best not to smile slightly. Although one thing did worry him. If he was close with Clorinde, he may know who Wriothesley is. That would be troublesome. He didn't need his past life catching up to him so fast… he was ready to move on.
"I wanted to give help and support to students who needed it. This way I am involved in school processes to make life easier for everyone. It also prepares me for college and is helping me learn skills to use in my future career. I want to go to college for business management." Neuvillete explained.
"That's actually… smart? I somehow didn't expect that. I thought it was because you seem like a popular dude." Wriothesley shrugged.
"Well I suppose I am well liked. I wouldn't necessarily say… popular. I have many acquaintances. Not so many friends."
"Sounds like we may be in the same boat there." Wriothesley laughed.
"Perhaps we can become friends." Neuvillette offered a smile.
"Yeah good luck with that. Trust me you don't want to be around a person like me. I just need guidance today and you don't have to deal with me anymore. Ask Clorinde…" He looked down. He didn't want to be this cold and distant but he needed to… he wouldn't let his defenses down this early on. He wasn't ready to trust again, if he ever could trust again.
"You seem like you have a story to tell. I'll be here when you want to tell it." Neuvillette offered kindly. Wriothesley gave a curt nod as the bell rang.
The school day went on slowly for the newbie. Neuvillette was kind enough to have a seat saved for Wriothesley in each class so he at least had one familiar face. Clorinde was in different classes than him, and only got to see him at lunch time.
"How are things going?" She asked as she took a bite of her lunch. "You seem to be doing decent enough."
"Neuvillette has been showing me around today. Saving me seats in classes and stuff…" Wriothesley mumbled, staring into space.
"That's good. He is a very kind person. Maybe you can make friends with him?" She offered.
"He said the same thing. I don't know Clorinde… I just… I don't want my past to come up and everyone hates me after I open up." He sighed.
"You are too in your head. You won't be hated. It wont catch up to you. You don't have to open up today. It took you a long time to get used to me and that was before everything. It is okay to take time with these things. But please… just keep the door cracked. Don't shut everyone out," Clorinde said, trying to reassure her friend. He just took a bite of food and nodded at her. She sighed, knowing her advice fell upon deaf ears.
"Now who is thiiiiiis!?" A cheerful voice asked. A pretty blonde girl sat down next to Clorinde.
"Navia, this is Wriothesley. He finally started here today." Clorinde answered. "I told you about him." He offered a small wave to the new girl.
"Oh yes! Childhood friend who just moved to town! Welcome! How are you liking it here? Everyone being kind to you? Schedule okay?" Navia asked. This blonde girl was really peppy and it was giving Wriothesley a migraine.
"Everything has been fine. Just trying to get used to everything I guess." Wriothesley gave a small smile.
"Well if you need anything please don't hesitate to ask! Any friend of Clorinde is a friend of mine! I'm sure I will see you around. I tend to go to Clorindes house often as cheerleading season gets underway." Navia winked at her friend. Wriothesley gave a thumbs up before cleaning up his lunch and walking into the hallway. These social interactions were just different to him. The difference was scary for him. An anxiety deep in his chest. Would he really be able to adjust to all this? Or would the anxiety eat him alive and he would end up right back in prison?
Lost in thought he wandered out to the football bleachers. The fresh air calmed him down a bit. It was quiet out here… he finally had peace. He sat on the bleachers and just let himself get lost in thoughts.
"Long day already and it's only lunch?" A familiar voice called. Wriothesley looked up when he was pulled back into reality.
"It is suffocating in there. I don't know how long I am going to be able to do this…" Wriothesley admitted.
"Can you tell me about some of the anxieties?" Neuvillette asked. He took a seat next to him on the bleachers. "It is just us out here so it will be private. Your secrets are safe with me."
"I…" Wriothesley took a deep breath. "It's so loud. Yes there's order and I should be used to all this but it's different. It's more social and overwhelming. School work is relatively easy, just adjusting to a normal life when you are not normal is harder than I imagined."
"Were you homeschooled before this?" The class president asked.
"Something like that…" Wriothesley laughed softly.
"Well… I know we aren't too much more than strangers right now, but I am not normal either. I know it's challenging. I have been in similar shoes before. At least similar enough to know the exact same anxiety you're feeling right now. Now I know you don't want friends, but can I please check in on you? Help you through this?" Neuvillette asked kindly.
"I guess so. Clorinde did say I should trust you." Wriothesley ran a hand through his hair and leaned back.
"Do you know what the color check is?" Neuvillette followed up.
"Um… I have no idea what you are even talking about." He tilted his head in confusion.
"A color check is like a stop light. Green means you're okay, good to go. Yellow means you are iffy, not quite comfortable but you're working through it. Red means you're not okay and need help to stop whatever situation you're in. Does that make sense to you?"
"Umm…" Wriothesley rubbed the back of his neck. "So green is good, yellow means eh, and red means abort mission?"
"More or less." Neuvillette chuckled a bit. "How about I use that to check on you while you figure out high school? That way you don't have to force yourself to open up until you're ready to."
"That sounds really helpful. Thank you Neuvillette." The other teen smiled. "But… why are you helping me like this?"
"I have a feeling deep down." The class president stood up. "See you in class soon. It's room 102 right by the front entryway. Can you find it ok?" Wriothesley gave a thumbs up, causing Neuvillette to walk back into the building. It definitely gave Wriothesley something to think about. A deep down feeling? Him getting help from the class president? It just doesn't feel real to him at all. Is he going to wake up in his cell again soon?
The school day finished at 3pm with the final bell. Wriothesley quickly left the class and went to his locker to pack up. He couldn't wait to get home and just have his own time. On the way out of the school, he noticed Neuvillette in the entryway, in a large crowd of students. He really was popular. It just added to his confusion. What surprised him was that even surrounded by his peers, Neuvillette saw Wriothesley and waved to him. He gave a small wave back before bolting back home, AKA Clorindes house.
The first week of school went by quicker than Wriothesley imagined. It got easier as the week went on. Every day, Neuvillette found him by the bleachers and asked him what color he was feeling. The second day was yellow. The third day was yellow, the fourth day was green of all things! But today, Friday, was hard. The emotions were beginning to crush Wriothesley's spirit. Trying to process life and moving on was hard. Plus… today was a hard day for him. It was the anniversary of the… crime. It hurt him. He never wanted to do it, but he had literally no other option. The pieces that were still missing in his life and heart. And only one person knew about it besides him. But he cant bother Clorinde about his feelings. She's done enough for him. Plus tonight was a football game. She has to cheer with Navia.
It was lunch time and Wriothesley was sitting on the bleachers like usual. He was considering just ditching the rest of the day. He couldn't be missing anything important, he had barely learned anything new here to begin with. Somehow the prison school system was more advanced than public school. His PTSD was strong that day. He was having brief flashbacks every time someone even bumped his shoulder or hand. Just when the world started to close in around him, the anxiety attack starting, he heard a familiar voice.
"Based on your body language I am guessing you are red today." Neuvillette said evenly, trying to appear calm but obviously worried about his fellow student.
"There's nothing getting past you." Wriothesley said jokingly.
"What's going on?" Neuvillette sat on the bench in front of him, facing the other so he could listen intently.
"It's a bad day for me." Wriothesley whispered. "I can't even think straight. The world starts to spin the moment I start to relax. The anxiety is too high. I can't sort out any thoughts or feelings and it's too much I–" he was hyperventilating.
"Hey hey hey, it's gonna be alright…" Neuvillette tried to comfort but he placed a hand on the other's knee, which was a terrible idea as it turns out. The moment Wriothesley felt the soft touch his mind went into overdrive. Flashbacks of belts, cigarettes, camera flashes and voices took over his mind. He pulled away from Neuvillette quickly and curled into a ball, shaking and trying to take deep breaths but couldn't get enough air into his lungs.
Neuvillette put his hands up to show no harm and looked wide eyed at the man in front of him. He didn't know what to do. He never witnessed someone having a panic attack. Was there a way to pull him out of it? Any way to help? "Wriothesley…" He said quietly. "I-I am afraid I don't know what to do right now. H-How can I help?"
"Clor…Clorinde… Clorinde…" Wriothesley panted as he pulled his hood over his head and hugged himself.
"Clorinde, yes! I will go get her. Please stay put. I will be back before you know it!" Neuvillette jumped up, looking around. She had to be in the cafeteria right now… it was only a few feet inside the door. He would only be gone a few minutes but it somehow hurt to leave Wriothesley in this state. He quickly pulled off his blazer and set it around Wriothesley's shoulders before running inside the school.
The class president made it into the cafeteria in record time, fast enough to make the track team jealous. He scanned the room and found Clorinde at the cheerleaders table. "Clorinde!" Neuvillette said as he ran over to her. "Please… come with me. Wriothesley needs you." She didn't need to hear anything else. She knew exactly what was happening.
"Let's go. Navia, please tell the vice principal he and I are leaving for the day. I will see you at the game tonight." Clorinde asked her friend. Navia agreed and did as she was told. Clorinde and Neuvillette went back out to the bleachers to find Wriothesley exactly where he was. Clorinde sat next to him and tapped the bleachers to alert him.
"Wrio… I knew today was going to be too hard." Clorinde said gently. "How about we go home? Watch a movie?" the other did not move. "I know it's hard. But it will get easier. You're not alone in this anymore."
"I know I'm not…can… can we go home?" Wriothesley asked gently as he looked up at Clorinde. She nodded and gave a small smile. She stood up and offered him a hand.
"Thank you Neuvillette for coming to get me. Navia should be informing the vice principal of our departure. Can you double check that for me?" Clorinde asked. The other nodded and watched as the two walked down the bleachers and towards home.
Neuvillette sighed, wishing he could have done something. He wanted so badly to help, but how could he? He had no idea what was wrong or going on. Clorinde managed to get Wriothesley back home and he immediately went to his room, locking himself in. She bit her lip in thought. She had a game tonight. Navia would be devastated if she wasn't at the game tonight to cheer with her. But her childhood friend needed her desperately. But he just locked himself away…
Wriothesley sat in the dark for hours. He shook as he rode out flashbacks to his past. The screaming. The crying. The pain. The fear. It was like a crushing weight stealing his breath and strength. He went down a dark road at that point. Why didn't he just take his own life yet? What was the point in adjusting to normal life? Why was he going to school? He could have just gotten arrested again or…
A knock at his door pulled him out of the waking nightmare. He looked at his alarm clock… 6pm. Was Clorinde trying to force him to eat? He knew he couldn't keep food down right now. "What do you want, Clorinde?"
"Ah, I apologize it's me, Neuvillette. May I come in?"
Wriothesley looked at the door confused. How did he know where they live? What was he doing here? "What in the hell are you doing here?"
"Clorinde asked me to come by and check on you. I brought you something." Neuvillette replied.
"I'm not hungry. I'm fine." Wriothesley just wanted to be alone.
"It's not food. Clorinde told me your favorite tea from the coffee shop. I brought you a cup." That piqued Wriothesley's interest.
"Fine… it's unlocked…" He sighed. Neuvillette entered the room quietly. The room was dark but the hallway light gave him enough view to understand what was going on. He had the curtains closed. His room was relatively plain… just dark blue walls, a bed, a desk, a closet and a tv. There were no photos, posters or anything personal really. It was like he was staying in a hotel room. Neuvillette left the door open for a small amount of light. He set the cup of tea on the desk next to the bed in reach of Wriothesley and took a seat on the bed.
"Shouldn't you be at the football game too?" Wriothesley asked, finally looking up at the other. His face was blotchy from sweat and tears from the flashbacks. He was wrapped in a blanket, still in his hoodie and was still shaking slightly.
"No… I have no interest in that. Clorinde really wanted to stay here with you but I told her to go for Navia's sake. I wanted to check on you anyway. I have been worried all day. You didn't reply to any of my text messages." Neuvillette explained.
"I'm glad she went. She won't admit it but she does like cheering. It's probably because of Navia of course. She has a weak spot for her." Wriothesley gave a small smile. "Sorry… I've been having a rough time."
"May… May I ask why today is so hard? You've had a decent week."
"There is a lot to explain. It's the day my entire life changed and I can't explain more. You'll hate me. You'll be scared of me. I don't know what to do anymore I–" Wriothesley was slipping back into panic.
"No please…you do not need to explain any further. Why don't we talk about something more cheerful? Like what are your plans for after high school? Do you want to go to college? Do you have a career in mind?" Neuvillette knew not to touch him this time, so he hoped changing the subject would maybe pull him back into reality.
"... A cop." Wriothesley said after a moment of thinking. "More like a detective. I want to help people when they need it the most."
"I think that's a great goal. I think you would be a wonderful detective. Do you have a college picked out?" Neuvillette followed up.
"No… I don't even know if I could get into a college. I don't have a full education after all." Wriothesley shrugged.
"But if you finish this year you will… and I am more than happy to help you wherever you need."
"You said you wanted to be a businessman or something?" Wriothesley asked.
"I do, yes. But not like a corporate tycoon… more along the lines of helping small businesses get off the ground." Neuvillette gave a small smile.
"That's noble of you…" Wriothesley looked down on the bed. "I just need to know something…"
"What is it?" Neuvillette tilted his head a bit.
"Why did you come check on me every day this week, and how did you know I wasn't okay today?"
"I told you already. It was a deep down feeling from when we first met. One could say fate told me that you were meant to be in my life, one way or another. As for today, You looked like you had just left war… you had that shell shock thousand yard stare and I knew something was wrong. I just wish I knew how to handle it. Thank goodness Clorinde knew what to do." Neuvillette explained.
"We've known each other since we were 5 or 6. She knows me better than anyone and she's been dealing with my anxiety attacks since then." Wriothesley took a hold of the tea and sipped it. "Would you maybe want to go down stairs and maybe talk? Get to know each other?"
Neuvillette stood up and helped the other off the bed. Wriothesley was still a little shaky from everything. They went down to the living room and sat on the couch. Wriothesley sat on one end and Neuvillette on the other so they could talk. It was so fluid. It was a foreign comfort to Wriothesley… being able to just talk and be open without judgment. But he couldn't mention his past. He didn't want to ruin this. They talked until Clorinde came home and went upstairs.
"Ah I suppose I should head home soon, time flies by and it is late." Neuvillette looked at his watch and sighed a bit. He didn't want to leave but knew he had already overstayed.
"Before you leave… I have a question for you." Wriothesley cleared his throat and nervously wrung his hands. "Will you… be my friend?"
"It would be my honor." Neuvillette smiled at the other. Wriothesley turned a little pink in the cheeks but it felt like a weight was removed from him. One of the walls he had built around his heart had finally fallen.