Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

Who's That Father?

Superfly

(Then: Beelzehaven, Rave Town)

She groaned at the first penetration. It had been a while since they last came together, and guilt had been eating at her. She still cared for him, he was so dear to her, always gentle and kind. He could be taught to do her like Vortex did, she told herself as she adjusted to his presence. And if not, well...then she'd just have to make a decision. Her partner stopped and braced himself on the headboard.

"Sh– Sorry, Flower. You okay?"

"You're, um, ah, bigger...th-than I remember!" A squeal came after her whine when he bottomed out in her. Shit, that was the walls! He was definitely bigger than the last time they had sex. The difference between him and Vortex was – No, don't think about it right now.

"It's only been a month. Might just be because I'm backed up." He chuckled. Right. A month. Because he had to recover from his last fight. Moans, groans and other sounds started to fill the room. His hands were more calloused, his fingers clumsy. Larger he might be, he was also a bit out of practice. She wasn't, she'd pick up his sl–Slack, what slack?! Unholy mother of–Where was this the last time they fucked?! Oh, fuck, oh shit, he actually fucking abstained?! For a month?! He must be about to–Ohhhhhhh, fuck! Yes! Harder! Say it and he'll listen, you know he will!

"Fuck, I should've rubbed one out earlier! Sorry, baby!" He growled as he started to pump faster and harder. Each stroke hit her very deep. Oh, yeah, he was going to swell soon, it was going to feel so fuckin–Wait a minute, a concern arises.

"N-Naruto! D-did you remember the co – ohh, yes, ha-harder! – the condom?"

"I–fuck, Flower, so tight…" He whined and nipped that spot behind her ear she spent one night to teach Vortex abo–Stop thinking about it! "...It didn't fit..."

"O-Oh…" Fuck. Quick, think, was today a safe day? ...Or was it yesterday? She was a little distracted by the way her boyfriend was treating her yesterday. He was so sweet and doting while she ached from that stupid stomach bug and it made her forget about how she and Vortex went behind his back because she couldn't stand waiting anymore even though it was only one week left but Vortex was right fucking there and giving all the fucking signs–Focus! "Um...I...I can get...a pill...tomorrow."

"A-Are you sure?!" He groaned. "I can still–"

"No! No, Naruto." Vortex was a good fuck, a very, very good fuck, but Naruto was...His puppies would be so fucking cute. And he cared, he really cared even if he was really vulgar about it. Vortex did too, but...but Naruto...Fuck...Fuck it! "Inside! Do it inside! I'll-Oh, fuck! I'll get a pill tomorrow!"

"Alright, Hinata...Fu–!" He gave one last thrust and OW! That's hard! Oh, fuck, that was way harder than she was used too and way too deep for how he was supposed to be and it felt so fucking goood! He collapsed atop her and kissed her neck while his hand slipped down to–Oh, well, he didn't have to do th–! Oh, okay, he's doing that! Yes! Right there~! There's the fingers she missed! Fuck, Naruto, right there right there!

"Ahhh-yesss…"

Heaving breaths, a lovely embrace from lean arms, a gentle caress from calloused hands.

"I love you, Hinata."

"...Mm-hm…" She whimpered. She closed her eyes and felt a tear form. She should say it back. She should, she could, she would!

But she didn't.

If she did, maybe she wouldn't have cheated on him.

If she did, maybe she wouldn't plan to do it again.

If she did, maybe she wouldn't bring Vortex to his place with her spare key.

If she did, maybe they wouldn't get caught when Naruto got back because his fight was canceled.

If she did, maybe she would've told them up front that Naruto was the father.

If she did, maybe she wouldn't have left the puppy with him. Maybe she'd help him raise her. Her sweet little angel.

If she did, maybe she wouldn't have died.

(Now: Beelzehaven Roads – Jalopy)

"Hey, Grump? Do you have any candy?"

"Check that bag in the back there, kiddo." Jiraiya said to his great-grandpup as he glanced at her in his rear view mirror. "Grump stopped and stocked up on your favorite when he heard we're having a fun sleepover."

"Levi's Licorice Lice Lickers?!" Himawari gasped. Jiraiya chuckled and nodded. "And I can have 'em before dinner?!"

"Yep, just remember that it's our little secret, Wari-Wari."

"Yay! Thank you, you're the best Grump!" The puppy cheered and her tail wagged as she grabbed the bag next to her on the seat to pull into her lap. She blinked and pulled a box out of the bag. She tilted her head. "Hey, um, Grump?"

"What's up, Wari-Wari?"

"What's a Con-Dom?"

"...What's what?" Jiraiya frowned and turned the music he was listening too down. It was Classical Screech, so it shouldn't have been too vulgar, given it had barely legible lyrics. He must've misheard the puppy, darn advanced middle-age. His hearing shouldn't be going for another century, at least!

"A Con-Dom. Is it like a Candy Cup?" She turned the box around to display to her great-grandfather. She giggled at the back. "Ew! Grump, this candy box has pictures of a boy's dingle and berries on it!"

"What?!" Jiraiya whirled around and grimaced. He gave Naruto the wrong bag. Shit. "Oh...Shoot. Wari-Wari, can you put that back? I grabbed the wrong bag earlier. That's just a bunch of Grump's er, uh, boring adult medications."

"Oh– Hey, Grump, there's a big toy rocket ship in here! Are we gonna play with rocket ships?!"

"That's a medication dispenser, do not play with it!" Jiraiya snapped with his ears folded back. If the Brat ever found out Himawari played with a dildo...They wouldn't find Jiraiya's body. The puppy whined and he sighed. "Sorry, kiddo, that stuff's just er, really expensive. Tell you what, if you put that bag down and never mention it to your father, we'll go to Bee's-Hive and you can pick out a couple toys to keep at Grump's shack. Does that sound good?"

"How many toys?"

"Two."

"...Four?" Sly little–! Look at that cheeky smile.

"Three." Jiraiya gave his great-grandpup a pointed look through the mirror. She grinned and put the bag down, tail wagging happily. He huffed and took the next right that would get them en route to the Ring's local superstore.

Hopefully, the Brat he called a grandson wasn't dead-set on using the condoms he thought he had.

(Beelzehaven, Hellhound Heights)

Yep. I'm going to kill him. Himawari will be so fucking sad, but he's got to die. I asked for one fucking thing and he thinks he can prank me with this shit? Naruto felt his left eye twitch as he stuffed the bag of candies and goods into the cupboard. Groaning into his hands, he shut the 'Treat Closet' and went back to working on dinner. The steaks were going to be in the oven for another few minutes, and the side dish needed a bit more seasoning before it was done. A vibration from his watch had him glance at the face on the inside of his wrist.

(Pulling up now)

Naruto felt his ears flick back and glanced at the mashed potatoes on the burner. He lowered the heat, covered the pot, wiped his hands on the rack-wrapped towel and started walking to the door when the bell went off. Opening the door, he was pleasantly surprised by the casual clothes Loona chose for the night – now he didn't feel bad for the simple cream henley and dark jeans he'd thrown on.

"Hey," he grinned and tried to keep his tail in check. He really liked her midriff exposing outfits. "Welcome to The Heights."

"Uh, thanks." She smiled back at him and he stepped aside to let her in. As her eyes wandered around, he caught sight of the Doomer pulling out of his driveway. There were a pair of familiar faces in the car and his ears went flat. He glanced at his watch when there was another vibration.

(Have fun, Boss)

"That cheeky old bitch..." Naruto huffed before he shook his head and shut the door. He turned back to his date for the night with a grin. "So, uh, I hope you're hungry. I got a little excited and started cooking a bit early."

"Is that what that smell is?" Loona asked.

"I hope so, otherwise we have bigger problems on our hands." He joked lamely. She smirked at him and followed when he nodded toward the kitchen. He gestured at the island while he went to the oven. "Go ahead and take a seat, it'll be just a few more minutes. I think I remember that you said you prefer a rarer medium-rare, right?"

"Yeah. That's right." Loona nodded. He heard her claws drum on the countertop and tried to ignore the other scents that started to fill the room. "So, no puppy tonight?"

"No, she got stolen for the night by her Grump, her great-grandfather." Naruto elaborated before she had to ask. He glanced back at the very pretty, very cute she-hound he was going to entertain tonight with a grin. "Just us boring grown-ups tonight."

"Speak for yourself." Loona teased as she leaned forward on her crossed arms and sniffed the air. "What is that, anyway?"

"Hellcow ribeye, fresh from a ranch in Wrath that my company has a mutually beneficial arrangement with." He shut the oven off after he scented the air – focus on the food, not on Loona's scent; focus on the food, not on Loona's scent – before he pulled the ribeye steaks out and set the tray they were on on the stove. He grabbed one of the two plates that he'd already set aside and started preparing Loona's when a question came to mind. "Speaking of Wrath, what were you doing there?"

"Company Day or some shit." Loona shrugged. "Blitzø got us all invited to the Harvest Moon Festival."

"Really? I heard that's kept pretty low key because of Prince Stolas' connection to it." Naruto hummed. She shrugged again and he chuckled. "Not into shop talk, huh?"

"Kind of distracted by the lean cut of beef in the room." Loona said. He looked at her and found her eyes lingering on his waistline, before they darted up to meet his gaze. Her ears turned crimson as her tail wagged a bit. He felt his own ears burn as his tail swayed a few times before he settled on a rebuttal to deliver with a small grin.

"Flattery is always appreciated, but I thought we wanted dinner before dessert?"

"Who said I was talking about you?" Her red eyes darted down to the food in his hand. "I'm hungry and that smells good."

"Ouch." He chuckled and set her plate down in front of her. He grabbed his and sat at the island seat tucked to her left. They ate in a content silence, and kept sneaking glances at each other. It had been a hot second since the last time Naruto did anything like this with a She-Hound. With his puppy out of the house and his work in his 'second's capable hoof-like hands, he really didn't know what to do with himself, let alone with Loona.

"After this," he started, focused on the bite of potatoes that sat in his fork. "What uh, what do you want to...er, do?"

"...Is that a serious question?" Loona deadpanned, lowering her forkful of hell-beef away from her mouth.

"I'm a bit out of practice on third date etiquette." Naruto shrugged. She arched a brow at him and he blinked. "What? Between Himawari and work, what action I have gotten is usually stuff out of Ring. Shit, the last time I had a She-Hound over was–Mmph!?"

The claws on his muzzle were smaller than his own, just by a fraction, but no less sharp. Red eyes stared into his blue.

"One: Don't talk about other She-Hounds you had over. Kind of kills the mood. Two: You've already got me here, dumbass, what the fuck do you think I want to do?" He glanced down at her claws on his muzzle and she pulled them back, her ears folded down. Her eyes fell to her plate and she 'played' with her food. "Sorry, I just–..I'm fuckin' nervous, too."

"Why?" Naruto asked around his next bite. "Loona, you've got nothing to be nervous about–Unless, you've never..?"

"I have." She growled. Clearly not a happy memory. That sucks. She huffed and stared at a skewered cut of steak. "Fifty seconds of fun almost turned me off the whole process."

"Glad to see it didn't." He admitted absentmindedly. His ears folded back as she smirked at him. "That was, uh...sorry."

"Why? That's the first funny thing you've said in the three weeks I've known you."

"Excuse you?" He scowled. She continued to smirk and her tail wagged playfully. His fork was aimed at her as his eyes narrowed. "I'll have you know that I'm a comedic genius."

"Oh, yeah? Says who? Your puppy?"

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"Eh, I don't buy it, I think she might be a biased judge of character." Loona huffed and took another bite of her steak.

"Well, obviously, I wouldn't win if I didn't bribe the officials." Naruto shot back as his tail started to wag. He let the silence hang for a minute as her ears turned a dark pink and the tip of her tail whipped about. Her eyes darted to him and her ears perked towards him in interest. Perfect. He gave her a toothy grin and leaned a bit closer so that he could feel her breath on his nose and vice versa. "How do you want me to bribe you?"

Loona's tail was flat out in full wag and she set her fork down. She perched her chin on her free hand and smirked at him as her red eyes went half-lidded.

"...I can think of a few ways."

He took the plunge and pressed his lips against hers. A newfound hunger overcame him once he got a taste. The smaller Hellhound was in his arms and carried over to the living room before he realized it. They began their explorations of each other on the couch, the clothed and tame intimacy just stoked the fires they both clearly felt, evident by the scents of desire and readiness that overwhelmed the lingering smell of cooked food.

"Hah...So much for dinner before dessert." He joked when the fifth or so –he wasn't really counting – kiss broke. Their plates were left to be cleaned up later. Maybe in the morning. Naruto didn't really care, worst case scenario? He'd just buy new ones.

Loona huffed down at him and narrowed her eyes. Her lips pulled up into a small smirk while her claws rubbed over his shoulders. The fabric beneath them tore slightly, but that was all right. Welcome even.

"Two out of ten."

"Two!?" His jaw popped open slightly before he scowled. "Yeah, it wasn't my best material, dammit, but it was pretty fucking clever!"

"More like it was pretty fucking cheesy," she growled down at him.

"Is that right?" He growled up at her as his claws traced down her sides. She shivered under his touch and her tail went wild. "Guess I'll just have to keep bribing you until you change your mind, then."

"Good luck. I've got, mm, high standards!" She groaned as he found a sweet spot on her side, just by the edge of her ribs. His eyebrow arched and she glared down at him. "Don't you fucking dare."

"Watch me." He grinned devilishly before he flipped them and pinned her to the couch as his claws traced her sides from that very sweet spot down to rest on her curvy hips. He nipped and kissed at her neck, whispering the typical generic horndog shit to her as she growled, whimpered and whined under his ministrations. The sharp sound of tearing cloth told him that this shirt was going to be absolutely trashed, given the way her claws dug into his shoulders and back. After a few minutes of this particular teasing, she let out a long whine and trembled. He pulled away with raised brows and sat back, one foot on the floor while the other knee nudged between her legs. Sharp fertile female wafted up to his nose and he felt his blood grow hot.

"It's been a minute for you, huh?" He asked and she tiredly glared at him. Her claws cut down into the chest of his shirt as she tried to pull him back. Instead, she pulled herself up. Undeterred, she grabbed onto his cheeks and tilted his face down to her. Their lips collided again at her insistence and he felt her legs wrap around his waist. When the kiss broke, she growled at him, a glow in her red eyes, a single sentence that really got the night started.

"Shut the fuck up, take me up to your giant fuckin' bed and fuck me already." With a demand like that, how could he say no?

"You want to break my fuckin' bed that badly, huh?" He joked again and then groaned when her teeth caught onto the base of his jaw. Fuck, if it hadn't been before – and it definitely was – then that little act got his red rocket primed and ready for launch. Shocked by the brazen, not to mention very kinky act, he stumbled into the wall at the bottom of the stairwell and glared at the she-hound in his arms. "The fu-?"

"I'd rather you fucking break me." She growled and nipped his nose. Her legs squeezed around his hips and their covered ground were ground together. He growled back at her as she started to nip at his jaw. "And I'd rather you do it right fuckin now."

That rebuttal certainly lit a fire under him as he carried her up the stairs, his claws squeezed her tight, cute ass and he gave the occasional nip at her shoulder. She got him off guard with a sudden duel of tongues and he almost missed the top step. Whatever picture broke when he stumbled into it didn't fucking matter at the moment. When the duel of tongues broke even and their eyes locked, he grinned.

"I'm only doing this because you asked so fuckin' nicely."

"You think I'm being fucking nice?"

"Duh. You haven't ripped my shirt off yet." Naruto teased until a loud tear had him looking down. So much for that henley. He gave the cheekily grinning She-Hound a flat stare, glanced at her still cloth-clad form, and then then back up into her eyes. "Of course, you realize, this means war?"

She pushed her nose against his, her tail wagged furiously and she gave him a playful snarl.

"Bring it, bitch."

(Gluttony, Queen Bee's Mansion)

It hadn't even been twelve hours since her plans to enjoy Vortex were derailed by the very same Hound in question. Normally, Bee would just ignore the feelings or focus on the party she was going to plan, but this was...different. Her chosen 'chew toy' was clearly hurt by the douchebag decision Kurama made – she absolutely would fight his demand if she could without pissing off Lucifer, but the chances of that happening were the same as the chances of a long-time Sinner being fucking redeemed and let into Heaven; not fucking likely – and his decision to 'sort out' shit with Verosika was a way to cope with it. Which, like, she got that. Really, Bee did. Vee was a good party pal, she knew the signs of a partier's time going south, so she'd keep an eye on Vortex until Bee could see him off nice and proper.

Knowing that didn't fucking help with the craving she had. She long since gave up eating her feelings – Vibes of others were tastier, but she couldn't have gotten a good Vibe feast from a party of one; she tried before and all that day of masturbation did was ruin an entire floor – and spent most of the day in a sour mood. Even watching her Hounds go about their lives didn't help her lighten up. The Packs of Pups that roamed Beelzehaven were on edge, the Hounds that ran the city were keeping their heads down, and the rest seemed to be just...waiting. What for, Bee didn't know, but her cute Hellhounds were tense and it was getting on her nerves.

"Fuck, I should just rub one out or something..." Bee grumbled as she turned over on her bed. She willed a Hellphone into existence and scrolled the myriad of porn sites that were available before she grimaced. "Ugh, none of this feels right...I guess I want a good fuck."

She flicked away from the porn sites and went to call Vortex when she remembered why she was in this funk to begin with. Her face fell into the mattress with a groan. She wanted to get a good fucking, but her number one pick wasn't available and she hadn't even ironed out who her backup was going to be when Vortex was gone. Shit, the last time she got any action from a Hound aside from him was– Bee's ears perked up and a grin spread across her face.

"Na-Ru-To."

Her beau's not-so-runty Runt of a friend was chock full of stress he needed to relieve and because he was part of her horde – not even the honorary status all Hellhounds had, but a legit ranked officer; which, given his pedigree made way more sense now than it had when she initially enlisted him – she could just demand a dicking on the spot. It'd probably be a very angry fuck too, what with his holdup on being 'owned' and all. Shit, that sounded like a perfect vent.

Well, first, she'd better make sure he wasn't with his cute little puppy. Wait...If he was with his baby, then Bee could play with her and get some of that cute little thing's super sweet and super happy Vibes!

Yes, either way Bee got what she wanted: Good Vibes or a hard, rough hate-fucking that would make her toes curl! ...Well, maybe that's the case on the latter one, she hasn't gotten a feel from him yet. She's still getting what she wants.

This plan couldn't possibly backfire!

Bee grinned and shot off to where she felt his particular mark was. A quick flight to get to where he was in The Heights and then she hovered over the smaller, utilitarian homes. Geez, did some of her Hounds actually choose to live like this? Where's all the space for the parties? The orgy rooms? The gaming/theater/in-home entertainment wings? She just couldn't understand how some demons survived.

Eh, that wasn't important right now. Time to find her newest 'toy', easily done with a quick 'ping' – essentially, a small pulse of her power to any fitting recipient – Aha, there he is! With a wide toothy grin on her face, the Queen of Gluttony zipped over to the house that reacted to her 'ping' and peered in through the windows. Or, she tried to.

"Gah! What the fu–?" She backed up and glared down at a sign set up by the front door. "'Protected by Bell-for-Door home security' – Wait a fuckin second – Oh, come on! How the fuck did Belle know about this stud before me?!"

Well now Bee had three reasons to steal another big batch of drugs from the Sin of Sloth.

Grumbling under her breath about unnecessary precautions, she shrank down to the size of a small flying insect and zipped into the keyhole. Of course, as she passed through that keyhole, something zapped her.

"Ow, what the fu–?" Bee deadpanned down at her tiny body. She lifted her lower arm up to her nose, sniffed and then sneezed. "The shit?! One of Ozzie's S.D. curses..Oh, fuck how long do those last again? Blue or red pill length?"

She grumbled and stomped around on the floor, trying to revert to normal size at least to no avail, before a heavenly aroma caught her nostrils. Eyes closed, Bee let her nose lead her through the entryway and into the kitchen where she flew up to the island countertop. Mm, that smells like freshly cooked Hellcow Ribeye and Mashed Potatoes?

"Don't mind if I yes!" Bee grinned as she opened her eyes and took in the partially eaten plates. She licked her lips. The bounty before her was perfectly spiced and seasoned, with a hint of her own brew added to give it that delicious alcoholic kick all demons loved. Not to mention it was rarer than medium, which meant it was just a bit extra bloody, yum.

With an ecstatic giggle, Bee dove in and devoured the home cooked meal, plates and all. She laid with a small content smile on the counter, belly up and picked at her teeth with her upper right pinky. A burp slipped out and she giggled a bit again.

"I should eat more food this way. That definitely felt like one of my standard snacks." She mused aloud as she crossed one leg over the other and sighed. "Now did my hunky new toy cook that meal or was it his little side-piece? Mm, given the 'Daddy Vibes' he's got going on, I bet it was him. Weird that they just ditched such good food–"

There was a loud crash from upstairs and Bee looked up. The hanging light fixture kept bouncing in rythym and if she listened closely...

"...arder...ere! Yes!"

"Ooh, someone else felt frisky, too, hm? Well, I do love me some dinner and a show." Bee grinned and started to fly up toward the ventilation shaft that was high up beside a tall cabinet. Another hard thump knocked the cabinet door ajar and Bee spotted something that made her stop.

"That's a fresh bag of Leviathan's Licorice Lice Lickers...The fuck did he find that?! Levi keeps that shit under the deepest lock and key!" Bee scowled. And then tilted her head. "Unless...the hunk went to the store...Right, I don't usually have to do that. Duh, Bee." She shook her head and grinned. "They're probably for the cute widdle bay-bee...Buuuuut I barely get to enjoy them anymore after that snafu in five-thirty-six...I could always spot him for another bag. I wonder if they're still just as good when I'm this size? Only one way to find out–!"

A whine pierced through the vent and drew Bee to a halt.

"Fuck! You sure you're not – shiiiiit – not knotted yet?!"

"You'll – Fuck, how are you still so fuckin' tight?! – You'll know when I do, Loo. I'm still working on getting in...just another inch."

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me! You sa – aaawn fuuuuuuuck yeah, stretching me so fuckin' good! – Hah, fuck...you said that like two fucking inches ago!"

"Math was never my fuckin' strong suit – Could you help me out here?! Stop squeezing your fuckin' legs, it's slowing us down!"

"Gimme a damn minute to fucking adjust to it! You're a fuckin' giant! Fuck me!"

"Well, I'm fuckin' trying to!"

"Eight out of – aw fuck, mm-yeah, against the wall! Fuck yes, just like that! – Hawn...Eight out of ten!"

"Eight ou–?! Seriously?! Fuckin– I'll show you an eight out of ten."

"Wait, wai–Ohhhh shiiit! Yeeeeesss, right there-rrr! Yes, yes, yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!"

"Sweet, sadistic fuck... that sounds so fuckin' hot." Bee licked her lips and started to touch herself as loud slams, sharp eager whines and husky low snarls started to echo through the vent. She looked between the ventilation shaft and the Licorice Lice Lickers. Sex show or snack bag? She was so torn on the decision. It shouldn't be this hard for her to decide.

"...Okay, I'll grab one...maybe two Lickers...Three...Five. Five can fit in the vent." Bee nodded. She dove into the plastic bag and started rummaging through the candy containers. She tried to claw into the plastic wrap around the Licorice Lice Lickers, but her claws weren't powerful enough at this size to pierce the packaging. Okay. She'd just eat it then!

(Beelzehaven, Hellhound Heights Playground)

"Hello, this is a Break in the Narrative." A white hound smiled from behind a windshield. "Here's a fun little tidbit about every Hellpup's favorite candy, Leviathan's Licorice Lice Lickers. For those unaware, Leviathan's Licorice Lice Lickers are pure sugary snacks with absolutely no nutritional value that aren't dissimilar from the Earth's infamous Wonka company's Gummy Nerd Ropes. That's a gross name. What was I–Oh, right! Being that it's a Hellborn candy, though, you can imagine how very sugary each Leviathan's Licorice Lice Lickers is. So while it might give even the Sin of Gluttony a sugar rush that could kill fifty thousand humans...the crash that comes after would put the consumer into a sleep even Belphegor would kill for. That's why most parents happily indulge their puppies desires and give them the Leviathan's Licorice Lice Lickers. And now that you know, this Break has been Mended. Thank you for watching, we now return you to your regular programming. Thank you again, and enjoy."

"...Damn, Akamaru...Where did that come fr–? Wait a minute! Who in the fuck are you talking to, dude?" A baked red-cheeked, dark grey wolf-like Hellhound asked his white-coated brother as they sat at the curbside outside of Hellhound Heights, watching the playground where a bunch of Puppies ran around. The white-coated Hellhound blinked and looked at his twin.

"Uh, unrelated, I think we snagged a bad stash of ganja from that last arrest, Keebs."

"...Are you eating fuckin' evidence again?! Dude, Mom will kill us if all recorded evidence doesn't get into the evidence locker again!"

"Hey, Mom won't kill us. I got all the evidence we need right here, Keebs." Akamaru held up a red bag and sniffed before he looked in the bag. He gasped loudly and looked back at his twin. "Keebs! I think someone might have eaten all the evidence!"

"...Oh, we are so fucked. Why do I keep partnering up with you?" Kiba asked the universe to no avail. He groaned and rested his head on the wheel while his brother started searching the cab for the stolen stash. "Someone way less deserving is getting fucked in a better way than I am right now. I just know it."

(Beelzehaven, Hellhound Heights)

There were many ways that tonight could have gone, but frankly, Loona's pretty sure this is the best possible outcome. Of the sizable portion she ate, the dinner was amazing, but it was the dessert she was anticipating the most. She was pretty sure Naruto felt the same way, considering the amazing orgasm he gave her on his fucking couch. Fuck, she knew those thick fingers and claws of his were going to be fuckin' magical.

Granted, the first two times they got to the good part was not as pleasant as it could have been. She had to stop after her second orgasm, since she was totally unprepared – but absolutely ecstatic – for the walls of her uterus to be rammed into by a cock the same size of her arm from the elbow to the claw tip. The fuck before her third was easier, up until he started to knot her and the stretching was almost too much. She muscled through that and rode out his first orgasm he was still raring to go and unholy shit what the fuck did she unleash on herself?!

"Fuck, fuck! H-Harder, yeah! Oh, shit! Yeah, baby, right there! There! There!" Loona groaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck and tightened her legs around his waist. She clawed at the space between his broad shoulders – they were just as amazing to caress as she'd imagined they'd be, a firm round ball of solid muscle that her claws barely pierced into – and raked her claws down the back of his head. Her tail wagged nonstop as his hips railed into her pelvis.

"Anti-Christ, you're just so fuckin' tight! Shit! ...Keep suckin' me in!" he growled into her ear before his big, big teeth nipped and bit at the base of her neck. Oh, oh yes yes! YES! Loona's eyes rolled up as her grip on him tightened. He slowed to a stop, fully hilted inside and rolled his hips against hers. She whined as the iron rod that masqueraded as his cock was ground against her G-spot, compounding her orgasm and making her head fling back even as her clutched holds on the male fucking her tightened.

"Fuck...Fuck..." Loona panted and rubbed the side of her head against his as he kissed and growled into her neck. She sighed and nipped at the thick neck she hung onto. She sighed and then groaned when he started thrusting again. Hypersensitive from the last orgasm, she whimpered for a minute. "Hoooo-Fuck! How are you not done yet?!"

"You want me to fuckin' stop?" He asked around a growl. She felt her ears fold back and her tail stopped wagging at the thought of him stopping. Her claws pierced into his flesh, getting a very satisfying hiss from his sly big mouth.

"Don't you fuckin' dare," she growled back at him. He huffed a chuckle out.

"That's what I hoped you'd say," his husky grumble was followed by a sharp, quick nip on her neck.

Naruto pulled her off the wall and turned to drop her back-first on the bed. She whined at the lack of warm connection to his toned, warm body, only to stop and groan when one of those talented, big, calloused paws started to caress her tits. She never thought that they were ever anything special and she always felt self-conscious around other She-Hounds flaunting her chest, since she was a 'runt' of a wolf-like breed. This handsome Hellhound's pointed attention to them was flattering and warmed her on the inside. A sharp huff of warm breath brushed over her neck and Loona moaned as she tilted her head back.

"You are so...fuckin... beautiful." His husky voice sent a shiver down her spine before he started kissing his way up to her lips. Loona whimpered against his affectionate assault while her tail-tip flicked rapidly. Was he seducing her while fucking her? Yes. Yes he was. Was it working? Yes, dammit, it was. His thumb rubbed over her nipple and she groaned into his mouth before she pulled her lips away from his and held his face up.

"You aren't fucking me." She growled.

"Oh. So I'm not. Allow me to rectify my mistake." He grinned and pulled his hand away from her tits to–Oh, so that's what her ankles looked like at this angle. A sharp pressure pleasantly pushed on her shoulders as he started to drill into her like a piledriver.

"Awh! Awh! Fuck! You! Cheeky! Fucker!" Loona growled into a series of whines that turned into another group of whimpers as he held her ankles by her head and pumped into her from above. As he started to increase his speed and diminish the drawback on his thrusts, she wrapped her hands around his neck again. That familiar pressure started to build up. "Don't you– Fuck! – fuckin dare – shit! Yes! – stop! Knot me, you fuck!"

"Are you sure it's safe?" He grunted as his eyes screwed shut. "Shit, you're so fuckin' tight! Sorry, I don't have con–"

"Don't fuckin' apologize! Just knot me, bitch!" Loona growled, not in the mood to worry about the low unlikelihood of Hellborn pregnancy.

To get this point across, she pushed her mouth onto his and their tongues dueled. She whined as his knot swelled inside her and a hot gushing swarm rocketed into her core. She tightened her grip on his head as her body trembled. He rocked slowly against her as their orgasms came to a head, and lowered their hips back down to the bed, her ankles no longer by her head. He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him to lay on his chest.

Shit, he's so fuckin' tall. The tips of her ears barely reached his chin. She sighed as his claws started to stroke down her back and she nuzzled into his neck.

"Twenty minutes, right?" She asked. He chuckled

"Sounds about right." His lips pressed into the top of her head. "I'll be good to go again after that. You?"

"Fuck, yes. I love your fuckin' recharge time." Loona muttered which made him laugh.

Most Hounds needed another thirty or forty-five minutes. Some bitches liked the long recovery. Others found it annoying. Loona was part of the latter, which was why most of her one night stand partners had been girls. The one time she had a guy as a one night stand, the poor guy almost got his head blown off by a wasted Blitzø that stumbled home from the bar way too fucking early.

"Oh, that's all you love about me, huh?"

"Your cooking isn't that bad, either."

"You sassy fuckin–" Naruto growled and he brought his muzzle down to rub against hers. She smiled and her tail wagged at the gesture...and she liked how his hand squeezed her ass. "You are so taking it bitch-style next."

"Promises, promises." Loona muttered as her eyelids rose while she rubbed her muzzle back against his. They both curled their lips back and bared teeth for a second before she took hold of his face and maneuvered in for a kiss. "Mm…" She sighed as the kiss broke but kept her muzzle close to his. "Best third date ever."

"It's not over yet," He rumbled against her lips. Another kiss held for another minute and then she had her chin steadied by one of his claws. Those damn pretty blue eyes stared into hers and his lips pulled into that suave sexy smirk. He put a nasally twist on his words. "Loona Buckzo...Will you be my girlfriend?"

"You... fuckin' cheap bastard!" Loona thumped her fist into his side as she broke and quietly laughed, which only managed to make him laugh at his own dumb joke. Dammit, that was the stupidest and cheesiest bit he'd dropped on her yet. And she laughed at it! Fuck...she'd lost.

"You laughed at my stupid joke." He teased her. She growled and nipped at his chin.

"Listen here, smartass...I was pity laughing at my boyfriend's joke."

"Oh really? Your boyfriend's joke?"

"Damn straight. I picked you first. You're my boyfriend."

"Oh, no. The horror. How ever will I cope with this role reversal? How will I break such news to my daughter–Ow! That one hurt." Naruto whined after she thumped him again, a bit lower on the side.

"Oh, poor baby. I guess I should kiss you better then, huh?"

"Yes, please do."

Loona smirked as she guided him in for another kiss. This one they held longer than the last and she was rolled onto her back again. He hovered over her, his large frame hid hers, and their tails wagged in unison. Their kiss broke and they grinned at each other.

"My cute, little girlfriend." Naruto rumbled down to her as his claws stroked down the side of her head.

"My big, stupid boyfriend." Loona cooed back up to him as her claws framed his face..

A soft pop had them both look down. The knot had come undone, sooner than expected. Blue and Red stared back into each other in slight surprise and grins were shared. Another amorous round of liplocks was started to get blood-flow regulated once more before the next round of sex would start up.

AN: Oh my! Was that an unintentional, subliminal Sweet Sixteen joke I just made by making the sixteenth chapter a glorified sex scene? ...Quite possibly!

Thanks for reading, everybody!