Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

Who's That Father?

Pay The Price

(Then: Hellhound Heights)

A hand tucked into his jacket's pocket, a nineteen-year-old Naruto followed the pretty, middle-aged Cocker Spaniel-like Real Estate Agent named Rea around the home she was showing off. Every so often, his eyes would go down to her tight pencil-skirt clad rear; age didn't mean anything to him now, he was raging with unused hormones ever since he stopped participating in fighting pits. Then a giggle from his other hand and remind him of the toddling little terror he had connected to his other wrist by a leash.

"Himawari! Get back over here." Naruto growled at the puppy when she tried to disappear around the corner. The leash went taut and he gently tugged on it to get her to come toddling back. She clung to his leg and giggled up at him. He gave her a pointed stare and then smiled apologetically at the Rea.

"Sorry about that. Ever since she's learned how to be mobile, it's one mess after another."

"Oh, you're fine. It's refreshing to see a stern hand rather than...Well, for a male your age, anyway." His eyes narrowed. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Rea waved him off with a smile. "I take it her mother is working?"

"There is no mother." Naruto scowled when Rea's smile tightened. Oh, wonderful. She's one of those cunts. He hated what he was going to have to do.

"I see, and might I ask where she is now?"

"Not that it's any of your fuckin' business, but her mother died on the fucking table after the dipshit surgeon botched a c-section." He growled out the lie to just shut this bitch's bigoted brain down. Rea had the fuckin' decency to remember what she was doing for a living and stammered an apology to him. Yeah, whatever, he already had her figured out. He waved the bitch off and let her get back to showing him the first floor. Yeah, go ahead and think about that while you try to sell me and my puppy this house–Where did she go?

A wet plop in the nearby bathroom and tug on his left arm had Naruto close his eyes and count back from five. This wasn't part of his plan, but he'd reluctantly adapt. He held a finger up to request a moment to the flustered Real Estate Agent – she's probably so fuckin' grateful for it – before he followed the taut leash into the bathroom. Low and behold, his two year old beamed up at him...from within the toilet.

"Abha-Poo, Dad-dee!" She proclaimed proudly, her paws up to him.

"You're certainly something, kiddo." Naruto snorted before he grabbed the display towel nearby, dropped it over her face and then partially reverse swaddled her in the towel. He snatched her by the scruff to haul her up and out of the toilet. He growled at the giggling puppy and tucked her face first into the crook of his arm. Smirking at his puppy as she tried to dig her way out of the inverted swaddling, he started to scratch around her sides through the towel, and chuckled at her squeal. "How many times does Daddy have to tell you not to play in the toilet? It shouldn't be more than once."

"That towel is for display only."

"Just put it on my fuckin tab." Naruto muttered as he flipped Himawari around and set her on the ground. He pulled the towel off her giggling face and growled at her as he started tickle-drying her sides and legs. "You're pushing your luck, Sunflower. You promised to behave, remember?"

"Perhaps a firmer hand should be used to ensure such promises are followed through by your unruly pup. I know there's a good Puppy Behavioral Training school by the Diamond Dens, and we have several openings. There's a few houses we could look at today if you'd like." Rea offered and Naruto shot her a look. He bundled Himawari up again and picked her up before he walked over to tower over the she-hound.

"I'm buying this place, and I'm getting a discount." Before she could say anything, he jabbed her in the chest with a loud snarl. Himawari cowed and curled in his chest – he'd have to give her a treat as an apology after this – but he ignored that for the time being. "Listen you little bigoted bitch, I don't give a fuck what you think about me, but you talk about my daughter like that again and the last thing you'll ever worry about is where the nearest Behavioral Training school is. Shit, barring that, I'll make sure you won't have any houses ready to sell. I know plenty of 'unsavory' sorts that would love to come throw parties at your 'exquisite open houses' that you were so generous to give me listings of once I gave you my budget. You get what I'm sayin'?"

"...Y-yes, sir."

"Then congrats, break out the paperwork. Because I'm sick of your face, so I'm buying today." Naruto growled. Rea nodded and darted out for her car. He waited until she was gone and then turned his full attention to his trembling Puppy. He kissed her cheek and nuzzled her face. "Oh, no, Pickle, no. Don't cry. Please? Daddy's sorry you got scared, baby girl, but you did so good for Daddy! Did you have fun playing in the toilet? Hm? Was it a fun time, playing in the potty again?"

Her fear abated as he started lathering her with affection, his puppy keened and whined at him while her still tiny tail whapped into his arm and side. Using Himawari as the rambunctious puppy she was to give his 'backstory' of 'tired single father' credit was an idea he hadn't initially been comfortable with, but Jiraiya was unfortunately right. Most older She-Hounds, single or not, tended to look down upon single, young fathers. Think them simpletons for being tricked into caring for a pup while the mother fucked off and had fun during the 'party' years. It made it easier for Naruto to pull the rug out right from underneath the bitch, and take control of negotiations.

"Wawi ghruna fawsh, Smimammanin Roll Dad-dee!" The puppy yipped happily.

"Yes, you're gonna get a nice, big Sinnamon Roll for your hard work, Pickle." Naruto chuckled as he rubbed his nose against that of his once more giggling little girl. She keened before she grabbed his cheeks and kissed his nose. Naruto beamed and gave his puppy a tight hug back. "Aw, thank you, Baby Girl. Daddy loves his little Pickle's kisses."

He'd had his eye on this place for days now, a good distance from the park, a nice small corner of the neighborhood that he could watch who came and went with ease, it was perfect. Now that his little act was finished, he wasn't going to get absolutely fucked by Hell's housing market's ridiculous prices. Instead, he'd be only slightly fucked by the housing market which is something most Hellhounds – shit, it's something most Demons couldn't claim.

And it was all thanks to his precious little Pickle.

"Just be a little more patient, okay? There's Daddy's good girl." Naruto praised softly just before Rea came fast-walking back in. He kissed her cheek one last time before he put his game face back on and smirked at the frazzled smaller hound. "So, that thirty percent discount is doable, right?"

He almost laughed at the speed of which color left the bitch's face. Almost.

(Now: Beelzehaven, Hellhound Heights)

"Oh, shit, what party did I go to last night? My head is fuckin' killin' me." Bee groaned as she sat up on an unfamiliar floor. She looked around the weird sparkly environment she was in and licked some of the residue on her snout. Sugar? Her tongue extended out and swirled around her face and body to clear away the rest of the yummy carb-filled goodness. ...Oh, yeah! She went abso-fuckin-lutely ham on that bag of Leviathan's Licorice Lice Lickers and then went after the rest of the goodies in the bag. Then she must've...crashed? ...Huh, looks like there were downsides to being a Gluttonbee-sized Bee, normally it takes a trillion times the amount of sugar to get her to that kind of high.

She shook her head and crawled her way out of the candy bag with a stretch of her arms. Her internal clock told her it was mid-morning, so there was still time for a second breakfast. A heavy set of muffled footsteps had her looking around. Nope, still in the plastic bag. She tried to fly and immediately cringed at the weird feeling that surged up her back.

"What the f–? Oh, that's right." Bee looked over her shoulder at her drenched wings from her Doobie-Scoo inspired Slurp. She scratched at her head and groaned. "Dammit, that's an hour without fly time...Can I get bigger yet? Eh, that might extend the drying requirement...Alright, well, claws still work."

She tore her way through the plastic bag with ease and was almost blinded when the kitchen lights were switched on. Geez! Talk about powerful. Where was she–?

"The fuck is that doing open?"

Bee turned toward the husky voice and grinned. She remembered now. She was in the home of her freshly acquired new toy, that same toy that was walking towards her with nothing on, and she liked what she saw. That fuckin eight-pack was cut so nice and them boy-tiddies were big and cushiony, just as she liked them for some post-fuck napping. Then there was that crimson beast poking out from its furry sheath. It looked like it was bigger than Vortex's, but Bee could give two literal Dino-piled shits about size. A Hellhound could have a micropenis or a flopping, stretched out vaj for all she fuckin' cared so long as they used it right.

"Maybe Loona got the munchies last night..?"

Ooh, look at that big ol' paw on the cupboard door. Bee saw it life-size before, and right now it looked like one of those thick fingers would stretch her enough to hurt. She could surprise him with a sudden Bee in the paws, maybe he'd give her one of them sexy growls. Grinning at the plan she wanted to put into action, she was disappointed when he didn't bring one of those big dark paws close enough.

"...Hm, nothing seems to be missing. Whatever. Maybe our fun dislodged the latch. I gotta fix that, it can go on the list. First, breakfast." The not-so-runty Runt that Vortex would get nostalgic about then started to dig around on a shelf above where she was.

"Um, hello?!" Bee shouted at him. Her left eye twitched when he ignored her. "How the fuck–? Hey! Dickhead! You sexy idiot, I'm down here! Hey! Your Queen needs an escort, legit this time!"

"Pancakes are good post-sex morning things, right? ...I think so...Mhm." He shrugged to himself as he pulled a box of pancake mix down and started to close the cupboard. Oh, no he fuckin' didn't!

"Na-Ru-To!" She snapped with a flare of her power. He flinched and glowered down at the Seal she put on his collarbone. The fuck–? He could be fucking grateful she didn't put it on his fucking tight ass!

"Tch, it's too early for your shit, Beelzebub." He shook his head and resumed looking over the box of pancake mix.

"Don't you ignore me!" Bee sent another pulse through his Seal and he fumbled the box of mix. He growled a bit – mm, she liked that sound, but she couldn't afford to get distracted right now! – before he glared at the Seal as best he could.

"Fuck's sake, get someone else to sate your Lust."

Oh, she was so going to ride his fat cock raw! She didn't have Lust...just a craving for overindulged sex! Bee growled and sent another pulse that he stumbled and snarled at.

"Bitch, I said no!" He flicked the Seal and Bee jerked back from the power rebound. She blinked in shock. Did she just get rebuffed? ...By one of her horde? She didn't know demons in her horde could do that – in fact, she's pretty sure they shouldn't be fucking able to! Was that a boon he got from his lineage? She wouldn't be surprised, both of his ancestors had been her 'adversaries' at one point or another – and frankly, she still counted Kurama as such. The question was, was that from Garmr or Kurama? Did he have any other boons? Draws? Or was it just a side effect of the curse she was hit by?

Ugh, there were too many variables bouncing around in her head, just like whenever she was crashing a 90s mosh pit! She needed to get answers, the mad culinary scientist in her demanded it! Before she could do that, however, she had to not get trapped in the cupboard!

Bee ran across the drawer and jumped at her stupid and sexy underling, all four arms outstretched. Yes, haha, freedom never tasted so–Fuck! The cupboard door caught her in the side as it was closed and she spiraled out to the floor with a yelp. She landed with a grunt and spun out along the ground. She rolled onto her back and glared up at the kitchen ceiling.

"Ozzie... I fucking hate you so fucking much right now."

What Bee knew about Asmodeus' Size Decreation Curse was what most knew: it was way to punish souls or demons without macrophilia kinks by turning them into microforms, or locking them in said forms if they were capable of size alteration like she was. Given that Bee was hit with it, she was starting to lose her small appreciation for it – no, the pun was not intentional – and gain a bit of an understanding as to why most demons preferred to be stepped on in their actual sizes. Granted, she was usually the 'Macro' in any prior situations where she did indulge…Vortex still wouldn't acknowledge their brief venture into it. Spoilsport.

Groaning, again, Bee got back to her feet and glared around for her supposed subordinate. Her ears perked up when a bop she hadn't heard before started to play.

All the Single Ladies, All the Single Ladies,

All the Single Ladies, All the Single Ladies

All the Single Ladies, All the Single Ladies,

All the Single Ladies, All the Single Ladies

Now put your hands up!

She saw a dark paw pop up over the giant island in the middle of the kitchen and blanched.

"As soon as I get big, I'm never shrinking to this size again for as long as I can remember..." Bee grumbled to herself as she started running to get to the corner of the island. Once the visual block was cleared, she was granted to a marvelous show that almost made this whole shitty experience worthwhile. A bushy as fuck tail flicked from one side to the next, opposite of the rocking hips that were attached to the firm pound of cake that bounced enticingly as the insubordinate sexy bastard made some flapjacks and danced to the music.

Bee was really torn on how to feel about this development. On one hand, it proved the beefcake not-runt she enlisted had a playful side to him outside of his serious boring business face, and that was always a plus. On the other hand, he was still the insubordinate little asshole that – albeit unintentionally and inadvertently – cost her her first choice and favorite chew toy of this generation of Hounds and needed to be punished. On the other other hand, his parentage was scrumptious as fuck and doubly so since they had a lot of secret gene juices she wanted to get her claws on for eons now. But on the other other fourth hand...Dat Ass looked extremely biteable~!

Ooh, and he can sing! Bonus points. His punishment just lessened a bit more.

"If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it, don't be mad once you see that he want it. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it." Naruto sang along lowly as he poured more mix onto a pan and flipped a pancake. "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, o-ohh...Whoa! Whew..Almost lost that one. ...All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies..."

"...I don't know what song this is, but it just became my favorite." Bee grinned as his hips, tail and ass started their cute little dance as the chorus picked up again. She started to nibble on her lip and bob to the beat before she smacked herself across the face. "No! Focus, Bee! Don't forget. He must be punished for disobeying me!" She watched the ass bounce a few more times as it crossed the kitchen and his legs coil as he crouched or stretched. She sniffed and rubbed her chin while she rubbed her lower hands over her oscillating neon-colored belly. "Mm...Maybe he can be punished with some spanking. Open hand, four palmed, full force...Yes...I like that idea. Now, how to get his att–? Where the fuck is he going now?!"

The subordinate in question was still humming to himself, his silenced phone now balanced in his teeth while he carried two plates with him out of the kitchen. Did he even turn the oven off? ...Yes, okay good – Hold up, wh-when?! God fucking dammit, Bee was so off her game, she missed him turn off the oven and clean up his mess!

Stupid Kurama, taking her favorite number one chew toy and throwing off her groove.

"Yay, more running. Grr, I fucking hate this curse, Ozzie! I hope you feel my disdain for you, Asshole! Why does this piece of ass even have that curse on his front door?!" Bee grumbled as she ran after her subordinate. By the time she made it to the bottom of the stairs, he was long gone out of sight. She huffed and doubled over in exaggerated exhaustion as she glared up at the top of the stairs. What should be a three second flight looked like a hike back up to fucking Heaven of all places. "Fuck. That."

Bee was going to let her wings dry out before she went after that stupid stud. Then she was going to spank him. Repeatedly. Painfully. Maybe while she tugged his dick so she could get him addicted to it like she did to Vortex with the fingering... Yeah, she'd give him the ol' Poundcake and Reach Around treatment! Then he'd be sorry he ignored and rebuffed her demands for attention!

Bee took a second to think about that thought.

"...I think that the Envy sugar mixed with Ozzie's curse is regressing my maturity…" She muttered as she rubbed her chin. She shrugged, all party drugs had some kind of side effect, she'd just wait this one out. She groaned as her nearly endless stomach grumbled. "Maybe I'll raid his fridge first, and then give him the Poundcake and Reach Around treatment."

Yeah, that sounds like a better plan.

Yawning herself awake, completely uncaring of the mess she probably was, Loona was tempted to go back to sleep to continue that amazing dream from last night. That she had a great dinner date with a super hot, sweet Hound that actually liked her and her body the way it was, and showed it by fucking her senseless. She didn't want to get up yet, but Blitzø was bound to run in at any fucking minute–This wasn't her bed.

"...It wasn't a dream..." Loona grinned before she stretched out her arms above her head and rolled onto her back into a slight divot larger than she was. She was sore in places she didn't know she could be sore, evident when she tried to stretch her legs. She whined when her pelvis protested any movement from the waist down, aside from her tail. Oh her legs still worked, they were just numb because a sexy motherfucker kept himself between them for four hours straight.

Four hours.

Four hours.

Four. Hours.

"My boyfriend fucked me for four hours straight." Loona giggled, giddy at the revelation. His down and recharge time included a lot of heavy petting, kissing and other forms of stimulation – those thick fingers of his were surprisingly delicate when they explored her folds – so yeah, she included that in her estimation. She let her eyes close and took a deep whiff of the room. Wow, the air was so thick with the smells of Sex, Sweat and Satisfaction.

She loved it and couldn't wait for the repeat.

...Hold that thought, where was said new boyfriend and why wasn't he absolutely ravishing her essentially open pussy right now? Sure, she might really get paralyzed if she tried to do anything worth a damn, but–Oh, there he is. Coming in.

With food.

And, better yet, he was still naked.

Breakfast in bed with a show to go with it...Sweet fuck, if he keeps this shit up, I'm gonna find a fuckin collar tag for him. Loona felt her tail thump against the bed at the thought. 'Property of Loona Buckzø'– Wait, would she still be a Buckzø? What was his last name again? Uzuwhacki? Zoonami? Meh, details. 'Property of Loona' worked fine. She'd have to find a loose enough collar that would go with his uniform. Or one with a big strap–

You are jumping the fucking gun, girl. Damn. Sit down and let him fuck you stupid a few more times first. Loona chided herself as she smiled at him. Then she noticed the phone in his mouth. She snorted.

"The fuck are you doing?"

He dropped his phone from his mouth onto the mattress – not as slimy as it could have been, some Hounds really drooled, but still gross – and offered her a plate as he walked around one side.

"Bringing breakfast up, efficiently" He said with a raise of the plates for emphasis. Loona mock glared at him.

"...If you're trying to convince me to move in, you're doing a really fucking good job of it."

"That's moving a bit too fast, even for Hellborn, don't you think?" he chuckled and gave her one of the plates. She snorted back at him as she looked over the stack of pancakes. Of course it was too fast, that's why she'd said it. That, and to gauge his reaction. Because yeah, while she begrudgingly liked having her own space and living with her d–er, living with Blitzø, she would much rather live somewhere more...Hellhound friendly; and Imp City, shit, the Pride Ring in general was definitely not that. Her sexy new boyfriend's small laugh over it gave her a smidge of hope that he was thinking about it, too.

"So, this is what being official with you is going to be like, huh?" Loona asked as she dug into the carb-heavy meal. Mm, deliciously fluffy and had a hint of Edenish syrup to it. "Getting railed so hard I can't move my legs and then waking up to breakfast in bed?"

"Eh, that might be one of the perks." He shrugged as he took a rolled pancake up and swallowed it down without issue. Um...what? Did he just–? He caught her stare. "What?"

"Didn't that... hurt?" Because while Loona was a Hellhound and most of them could stomach random shit like their 'progenitor' Beelzebub or whatever, they still had limits. Like last night, Loona found out her throat couldn't manage past ten inches of his monstrous cock...Well, not yet anyway. Now it was a challenge and she would fucking meet it.

"Why would it?" Naruto tilted his head. Oh, that was sexy cute– Focus, Loona. She put another bite of pancake in her mouth.

"Because...Gag reflexes?"

"Ohh..Nah, never had an issue with that." Naruto shrugged. He paused mid bite on his next pancake. "Although, there was that one guy in Lust that got too enthusiastic during an orgy..."

"...You're bi?" Loona asked softly, ears fully erect and eyes wide as she looked at him.

"Hetero-leaning, but yeah. More or less." He shrugged. She just felt a wave of heat rush through her with that admittance and her tail started to thump against the bed again. She'd never dated a bi-guy before. Sure, she'd dated few exploratory or outed girls that never amounted to anything and there was that failed two-months shared with the non-binary dillhole that ultimately left her stranded at a bar to get high with their bandmates, but not once has Loona dated bisexual male Hellhound. Especially not one built like a fucking tanker truck like the one beside her was.

"I mean," the thicc Hound in question continued as he rubbed at his fuzzy jaw. "If they're pretty enough or I'm drunk enough, you know the old saying, any port's open in a storm. 'Cept mine, I mean. It's one of those pit-fighting things, y'know? Can't trust demons back there." He finished the pancake and looked up at his ceiling with furrowed brows. "Or from a missionary attempt. That felt too much like a pin, and...I really don't like to lose, y'know? And most partners don't like getting launched across the fucking room after they get the okay to tease a taint."

"And you never...um, you never experimented past that?" Loona asked lowly while she squeezed the next pancake in her claws. The images this not-story were planting in her head was making her really horny.

"Didn't have time. Himawari was at a stage where she wanted a lot of attention and I hadn't gotten Pris on my staff yet to help me keep shit organized. She's only been with us for ...Shit, I really have to get her something nice for her three-year anniversary." He shook his head as he topped his breakfast off. Loona hurriedly tried to catch up – she didn't want to risk missing out on any more fun – before a dark paw gently pinched her mouth shut. Blue eyes glistened with amusement as they met her red and she felt her ears burn.

"Don't rush. You'll just puke." Dammit, he needed to stop it with the 'Dad' shit because it was really working for her on a base level. He released her muzzle and started to gently scratch her cheek, just a bit below her ear. Oh, that felt Hellishly good. She felt her tail wag and one of her feet started to kick. "Do you feel anything other than sore yet?"

"...'m fine..." Loona muttered around her next swallow. Her eyes drifted shut for a moment as she enjoyed both the food that settled in her stomach and the affectionate touch her boyfriend – it was so fuckin awesome that she could call someone so sweet and sexy that – was giving her. She'd finish her breakfast and get to round whatever in a minute, right now she just wanted to enjoy the contact while it lasted.

When Loona opened her eyes again, she was huddled into his side, her cheek pressed into the firm chest and her arms wrapped around his tree trunk-sized torso. One of his big, firm arms was draped around her shoulders like a coiled serpent and a couple of his claws ghosted along her side and lower stomach while he scrolled through his phone. She blinked a few times and her ears blazed as she realized her plate of pancakes was missing.

"Did I–? Fuck, did I pass out?" That's so fucking embarrassing.

"You're sore, you had a fun night, and you filled your stomach when you woke up. Yeah, you passed out." Naruto rumbled out around a chuckle. He grinned down at her from his higher angle against the headboard. "You're surprisingly cuddly when you're asleep."

"Yeah, well, you're fuckin warm and cozy. Sue me." She grumbled and snuggled in closer. He chuckled again and she felt his lips press against the base of her notched ear. She glanced at his phone screen and blinked. "What the fuck is 'Colonel's Colony'?"

"The stupidest group name that a couple of my mercenaries felt they needed to come up with." Naruto deadpanned. He shook his head at another message that came through from a Merc whose contact name was '1AllDinosFear'.

(Obs Rpt 1 verified. Awaiting rpts 2 n 3)

(Just waiting 4 POT 2 stop hoggin Pickles n do his dam job)

After that came a fast response from this supposed 'POT'.

(F U Rex!)

(She's MY GGP!)

(I barely get 2 C her!)

(Let Me Have This!)

"For fucks' sake." Naruto growled before he sent a heated response of his own, basically telling the two messengers not to argue in the group chat. Although, admittedly, more colorfully than she anticipated. He huffed and let his phone rest on his stomach as he used the hand to rub his temples. Once he was done grumbling to himself, he let his head roll back against the headboard. "If anyone ever tells you my Mercenaries are professionals, don't believe them. They're just a big pack of puppies that haven't grown up."

"Because you have?" Loona teased around a smirk. He smirked back at her and tapped her nose with a claw. She swiped at his larger paw, and he caught it. He gently tugged on her arm and adjusted her so that she was straddling him again. His large dark paws splayed over her hips, thighs and ass, and then he pushed his nose against hers.

Mm-hm, yep, looking into those blue eyes, Loona could tell that she was getting a good morning ride for fucking sure in the near future. Their tails started to wag in near sync once more. She felt her lips pull back in a toothless smile – has she ever smiled this much on a Friday morning? Probably not – and that weird tight feeling in her chest was back.

"One," his husky murmur pushed a warm breath against her lips that she almost let a whine slip out at. Then the fucker started to tease her by kneading his claws into her ass and thighs. "I'm the CEO and Boss, so yeah. I like to pretend I did grow up sometimes. Two, I've never claimed I didn't."

"And three?" Loona grumbled back as their lips continued to brush against each other. He grinned.

"You're still here, aren't you?"

Loona growled at his grin and he growled back. Fuck, it was so wrong that she loved that her boyfriend was a coy motherfucker. Fuckin tease knew just how to get her revved and it's only been one night! Those claws needed to either stop or he needed to hurry up and stick that hard rocket that was pressing into her right asscheek inside of her pu–!

A ding from his phone had Naruto glance at it. His ears shot up and his eyes went wide in alarm as he sat up to grab the phone and read the text. Loona groaned as his motion caused her to slide back and made that red rocket that still wasn't inside of her pushed itself into the crack of her ass. He better not be signaling for anal, because that was not happening without some serious lubricant. And prep time. Preferably with toys.

"Beelzebub–dammit, Jiraiya!" He growled and started to get off of the bed. Wha–Um, no? Not allowed. Hey! Loona growled as she clung into his shoulders and wrapped her legs – thankfully no longer as numb as they were when she first woke up, but now a bit sore – around his hips.

"Naruto, what the fu–?!"

"My dumbass grandfather is on his way with Himawari!" Naruto growled back as he grabbed some things from around his room. While still holding her with one arm. And pushing his dick into her ass– Focus Loona. "I told him to keep her busy until Noon! Sonovabitch –he can't even do that?! Need to find something to wear–"

"Hey, hey!" She grabbed his face and looked him in the eyes. "Calm the fuck down. Did he send an ETA?"

"Ye-yes." He huffed and glanced at his phone again. "We've got forty-five minutes, maybe an hour."

"Okay." Well, there goes her Friday morning fuck fest, dammit. She should've skipped breakfast and just jumped back on his dick. Although ..an hour was plenty of time for a good romp and they could kill two birds with one stone. Yes. This was a great idea. Loona let her eyes go half-lidded and she started to rub a hand around on his chest. "Why don't we try to get a shower in?"

"A shower? Uh, sure. You want to–? Oh..You mean together. Wait, a shower shower or a shower?"

"..You tell me." She smirked as she rolled her hips. She grinned outright when his eyes had to squeeze shut and he dropped his phone to the floor with a whine.

"Yep, okay. Shower works!" He let out a shuddered breath and frowned. "But what about your clo–?"

"Look, I'll borrow one of your shirts or something, alright? And my purse has a spare set of leggings in it, so it's no big deal." His eyes drifted down to the exposed white fur of her legs that were wrapped around him.

Loona felt her face and ears warm again; she rarely let anyone look at her overly white leg or wrist fur. It felt too...pure for a demon to have. Or she was compared to some Sinner named Angel and asked by older orphans whether she would follow in his shoes. One fucker tried to make it happened. Dickless Davey never did get a proper autopsy, but then, she never got punished for his 'accident' either.

Rather than relive those wonderful memories of childhood again, she dug her claws into his shoulders to draw his attention back up, which was managed with an added growl. He grumbled at her for the rough treatment and she nipped at his chin. Her arms locked around his neck before she pulled herself up to whisper in his ear.

"The more time you waste freaking out, the less time we have sharing the hot water."

"You make a very compelling argument. Does this mean you'll wash my back?"

"Only if you wash mine first."

"Deal!" He grinned at her as she pulled back. She smirked and pulled his face closer to hers so that they could kiss again while he walked them over to his personal bathroom.

Yeah, Loona thought with a smile as her tail wagged and her tongue molded around her boyfriend's. This is a great fuckin morning.

If they'd waited a second longer, they would've heard her Hellphone start to ring from where it was left downstairs with her purse. The image on it was that of a stupidly grinning Imp while he held an out of frame copy of adoption paperwork up. It went dark as the call was missed. A second later, it immediately started ringing again.

This went on for almost an entire hour.

(I.M.P. Main Office)

"C'mon, Loony, where are you?! How do you miss thirty-seven calls in a row?" Blitzø scowled as he paced his office. After the contents of his stomach had finally been emptied, he had to bail on his attempt to pursue his Loony's Doomer and turned back to Pride. Part of it was that the tank was near empty – he told Millie to fill it up, dammit, he was never letting her drive again! – and then the rest of it went to the fact there was a goddamn police checkpoint outside of Gluttony's exit. Armed Hounds decked out in full battle regalia and a few of them had licensed Pentagrams on their uniforms. That meant the Sins were backing the act, and if you crossed a Sin…Well, it wasn't a smart idea.

Now, Blitzø was no bitch, he'd take any and all of those fuckin mutts on for his Loony, but he did have an active warrant out for his arrest for something he did like ten..five years ago... Ooh, and he should make sure his open bounty in Greed wasn't very open anymore. And the one in Envy. And Lu–No, wait. He got that one squared.

Anyway, he wasn't able to go out to Gluttony looking for her because of the Police Checkpoint. Oh and because the van needed to get detailed. What the fuck was it he ate last night anyway? He had to look it up later, as soon as Loony answered her phone.

"Maybe it's silenced? Yeah, that could be it. I'll start trying to FaceTime her! She never remembers to silence that" Blitzø grinned. He opened the 'Loonypoo' contact and selected the option. "C'mon, Loony, answer the phone for daddy–Yes!"

The Hellphone rose up out of his hands – he spent a good portion of his easy gold payment from little Hellpuppy on a new model of Hellphone that was reserved for Goetia on Stolas' suggestion. The rest he spent on liquor and booze – and expanded to a small screen in front of his face. He grinned, Hell-Tech was so fuckin cool, sometimes it just worked like magic!

The face that answered wasn't Loony. It was the Hellpup that had access to a fuckin' bank. If ever he needed to rob a joint, Blitzø was definitely going to rob the puppy's dad. Not to ruin him, he didn't think. Maybe. Meh, whatever happened, happened.

"Hullo?"

"...Hi, kid!" Blitzø forced a grin onto his face. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Why does that kid have his Loony's phone?! "Remember me?"

"Mr. Blitz!" ...She...She got his name right? ...Well, clearly all the brains she got came from her mother's side of the family! Aw, and lookit that little tail wag! Blitzø just knew his Loony-Toony looked that cute once. "Hi! Are you looking for Miss Loona?"

"Got it in one, kiddo! Have you seen her?" Preferably unharmed, unmolested, and untouched by her psychopath of a father.

"Nope, me and Grump just got home. I'll go find her for you–!"

"Wari-Wari, whatcha got there–?"

Oh, fuck. Blitzø blanched as a very familiar white coated hound suddenly came into view. Oh maybe he doesn't remember? Maybe he doesn't recall how Blitzø screwed up the earliest fucking gig he'd ever had, how his one mistake ruined so many lives that day. Maybe he was willing to let bygones be bygones? They locked eyes over the puppy's shoulder, the hound's grin fell and his red eyes blazed.

"You."

"Jiraiya! Heeeey, bitch! Look at you! Still so... big and burly...and not very hurt from the fire!" Which was extremely lethal for Blitzø's health. How was this fucker still fucking alive?! He thought that he bit the big one years ago!

"Wari-Wari, why don't you go look in the cupboard for some snacks, huh? Grump will get this phone call to Miss Loona. Okay?" Jiraiya gently took the phone from the puppy and waited for her to leave before he snarled. "I was going to wait until we're in person for this, but this is an opportunity I can't waste. I know where you are, where you live and where you work. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use that information to make you a fucking eunuch and take everything you fucking own as recompense."

"...I stopped dating Verosika Mayday?" Blitzø hoped that the torch the old Hellhound carried for that then small-town working succubus still burned bright.

"You left her penniless and broken hearted, we've all heard the sob story. Give me a real reason." Shit. They must've talked already.

"Uhh…I have access to a Goetian Prince and I know how to please him? Use him! I know how to use him!"

"Congrats. That's useful to me. You live. And now you owe me for letting you live." Blitzø felt his blood run cold when Jiraiya smirked. "And I'll get my payback...An entire big-top's worth, with interest."

"You, uh, you will huh? How's that gonna fuckin happen?" Blitzø asked. He did not like the grin on the white Hellhound's face.

"Your daughter's getting railed by my grandson right now in his shower. I expect she'll eventually move out here with him. Maybe even give him another pup or two."

Blitzø's jaw dropped.

"Wh..what?"

"Yeah, have fun with that information. Oh, and if you try to retaliate against him before any official separation and I'll destroy every adoption certificate with your name on it from existence. Forgeries and copies of them included. Understood?"

"... your...g-grandson...?"

"Pretty sure you met him when my great-grandpup hired your company. Enjoy the pity gold, Buckzø. It's all you will ever fucking get from my family." Jiraiya snarled before he hung up the call.

His phone collapsed onto his desk and Blitzø collapsed back in his seat. He shakily grabbed a bottle of BelpheKin and downed a good portion of it before he stared up at the ceiling of his office. That Hound was the one and only Hellhound he was absolutely terrified of.

That Hellhound was the only one to ever – and Blitzø means fucking ever – make Cash Buckzø grovel for his life outside of an encounter with the Ars Goetia King, Paimon.

"...Fuck my life with a sandpaper cock..." Blitzø whimpered as he rubbed his face. "Loony, why? Why'd it have to be the fucking 'Fire-Toad-Eater's grandson you hooked up with?"

"Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" - Beyoncé ... Yes, I'm just as surprised as you are that this Naruto likes it so much.

AN: Ah, my one day break paid off. A good healthy new side-development that won't impact the main story much. Just character backstory there, swearsies!

…I know my finger is crossed Steve–Steve?! But, wait, you're…Oh no. If you're here. And I'm here…Where's Me?

Thanks for reading, all!