Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

Who's That Father?

Glass Shatters

(Then: Beelzehaven, East Central, "Business Boulevard")

The emptied office building wasn't anything grand, it was a meager eight stories, compared to some of the lavish and crazy designs that filled the metropolitan part of town. Two Hellhounds, one a nine foot tall white beast of an old man and the other a lean adolescent that was just broaching the eight foot mark, dropped a few more boxes into the open space with sighs of relief.

"Alright, that's the rest of the crap. You've got the patent, scared the rabble off and made the territory yours. You've got the start up supporter, but you need clients and coworkers." The older hound said as the younger went over to a small gated space and snatched up a lavender puppy that had been whining at them for the past twenty minutes while they unloaded. "This is where it gets rough, Brat. Not too late to back out. You've got some savings now, you could just invest it and live lavishly."

"Like you did? Retiring early to what was it, oh yeah, write mediocre porn that fucking no one reads." The younger Hellhound snarked before he smirked and pushed his nose into the puppy's belly. The puppy squealed with laughter and the Orange Hellhound's tail wagged. "Nah, I'll pass. Can't write shit to save my life anyway. This way I can do what I know."

"Get your ass beat black and blue?" The older Hellhound snarked.

"Like you don't fucking pay to have that happen to you, Old Perv."

"...The fucking second you put the pup down, Brat..."

"I'll kick your ass. Yes I will, won't I, baby girl?" The Hellhound cooed as he cradled the giggling and babbling Puppy, before he walked over to a desk and sat in the chair by it. He glanced at the older Hellhound that was growling at him before he looked back at the puppy trying to bite his nose. "What? I didn't see your ancient ass in that fighting pit winning the money we needed."

"Brat," the older Hellhound scoffed. "Someone ought to have beaten respect into you when you were a runt."

"Well," the younger Hound narrowed his eyes as he sat the pup on the desk and started a gentle poke-fight, his claws poked into her belly while she squealed and 'fought' off the assault. The older Hellhound watched the play with a hint of approval and nostalgia. It was a pretty basic manner of roughhousing for Hounds with really young pups, and he'd done it with his own son many years ago. "If someone wasn't too fucking busy whoring himself out like a cheap prostitute and didn't wait until I was fucking fourteen to show up in my life, maybe he could have."

The older Hellhound growled and then sighed. The brat wasn't wrong and an ugly festered pool of guilt churned in his gut. He leaned against a support pillar to watch the younger male play and growl with his puppy on the desk. A thought gnawing at the back of his mind had him speak up again.

"Did you get that paternity test?"

"No."

"What the fu-?! Naruto, goddammit-!"

"Watch it, will ya? I don't want her first fuckin' word to have that douchebag's name in it." Naruto growled before he cooed at the slightly spooked Pup and pecked her cheek. "No, shh, it's okay, Pickle. Daddy was just growling at your stupid old Great-Grandpa Jiraiya."

"Naruto, just get it done," Jiraiya said to his grandson. The younger hound ignored him and he growled before he took a few steps forward. "She had a lover who she was with when she died! What if the pup's his?"

"Doesn't fucking matter. Blood doesn't make a family down here."

"He'd have grounds to take her-"

"If he wants to have any fucking sort of life expectancy past twenty-one, Vortex won't come after my puppy." Naruto grumbled as he tipped Himawari onto her back and started to tickle her sides. He smiled as she whined around her giggles and started to nip and grab at his claws. "Besides, he'll be happy to see her go. He's a party animal."

"So were you, not too long ago." Jiraiya argued. Naruto glared at him and then looked back down at his puppy, an uncharacteristic frown on his face. The older hellhound rubbed his face. "Look, if you're not going to take the test, then get him to sign a forfeiture of care. Either while he's drunk or force him to. He might not want her now, but what if something happens down the line? Any legal battle over custody can get costly and frankly, his finances are better than yours. Party animal he might be, but he's not a fucking moron with his money."

"...I fucking hate it when you're right," Naruto said with a snarl that turned into a yelp when his jowls were bitten into and tugged on. "Gah, dammit, Pickle! Alright fuck, I'll get you some food!"

"You want me to handle the Vortex thing, kid?"

"No, I'll take care of it." Naruto growled as he tried to pry his puppy's teeth off of his face. He whimpered. "Ow, ow, ow fuck! Sweetie, baby, that's too hard!"

Well, with an opening like that, how could Jiraiya resist?

"...That's what she said." He uttered before he burst into a belly-aching laugh when his grandson snarled at him.

"I will disembowel you, ya fuckin' Toad! Fuck, ow! Bad girl, Himawari! Stop biting Daddy's face!"

"Strongest Hellborn barring nobility and up, beaten by a Hellpup. Oh, what the tabloids would say if they could see this. What would happen if anyone got a picture of such a thing..."

"Fuck off—! Ow, ow, ow! Enough, Himawari! Bad, bad girl! Delete that photo, Gramps!"

"You'll have to pry it from my cold dead hands, Brat."

(Now: Business Boulevard, Wild Things Facilitated Main Office)

Wearing his company's standard gear without the bulletproof vest on, Naruto walked into the building with a bit of urgency in his steps. Breakfast ran a bit later than he intended, the shower went cold mid-wash and some damn drunk idiot got in a wreck on the fastest fucking route into the city, so yeah, atop his daughter's accident, his morning had gone swimmingly. Fucking Universal Balance bullshit...Maybe he should've held off on asking the cute secretary to coffee? Meh, too late now.

He held his puppy's hand as they strolled past the main floor's secretary. The chipper and bright eyed golden-retriever Hellhound behind the desk perked up with a smile as he spotted them.

"Mornin' Boss!" Raising a hand with a wave before he leaned over his desk to grin at the Pup. "And Lil' Boss is with us today, too! How's it goin', kiddo?"

"Hi, Doug!" Himawari waved at him while Naruto nodded. To anyone unfamiliar with his hiring requirements, they wouldn't be surprised to see such a friendly face sitting at the front door. To anyone who was familiar, they'd wonder what Doug's background was. No one would expect that he was in the Top Ten percentile of his class when he was in the Beelzehaven Police Academy. The only reason Doug was with WTF and not the cops or some other organization was because Jiraiya snatched him up before graduation.

"Can't chat, Doug. Have a good morning." Naruto said briskly as he veered for the elevators.

"You got it, Boss! Later squirt!"

"Bye, Doug!" Himawari turned back and waved before she skipped back up to his side. At the doors she rushed forward and hopped up to press the button before she darted back to his leg. He smirked down at her and scratched her behind the ears before he guided her into the car and used the keypad to get to the penthouse offices.

Once the elevator stopped and the doors opened, a Saluki-like Hellhound stood in their way. Her brown and tan coat were brushed to give off an immaculate sheen. She wore a green suit jacket and skirt, a tablet in one arm. She planted a fist on her hip and her red eyes glared up into his blues.

"You're five minutes late," she growled as she fell in line with him. "That's five minutes we could have used to finalize the pitch for our meeting with the Mayor."

"Yeah, I fuckin' know, Pris. Some jackass crashed his Furrari on Gobble. Fucking excuse me for having to deal with detoured traffic." Naruto growled back as he opened his office door. He nudged Himawari. "Go get started on your work, Pickle."

"'Kay, Daddy. G'morning Miss Priscilla!" The little pup chirped as she darted over to a miniature desk that had a small laptop and a printed list of tasks set out by his assistant so that she could get started on any schoolwork she might have. He was really glad he sent her a text to be ready for it.

"Good morning, Himawari." Priscilla smiled at her before she turned back to him. "You brought her in today? I know what happened yesterday was fucking traumatizing, but-"

"It's Hell and she's five. I know. I've got the Old Perv picking her up at Noon if not sooner." Naruto sighed as his personal assistant's muzzle curled in disgust. He rubbed his neck. "Look, I know it's not fucking ideal, but she wet the fuckin bed last night and tried to tear the sheets up to hide the evidence, Pris. You want me to send her to class after that kind of behavior?"

"Yes."

"Tch, the fuck do you know?" He pouted as he leaned on his desk.

"You're too soft on your puppy." Priscilla shook her head.

"Oh, fuck off." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Name one employee that fucking isn't."

"We're your employees, dumbass. Of course they'll schmooze up to you through her."

"So you don't try to be nice to her just because you like her?"

"Don't put fucking words in my mouth, you smarmy shit. Listen to an elder's advice."

"Now you sound like the Perv." A rough fist barreled into his arm. He turned and snarled at the glaring bitch. "The fuck was that for?!"

"Don't compare me to your grandfather, asshole."

"Well if the fuckin' bone fits in the hole!" He hissed as he rubbed the spot she hit. He glared at his P.A. and she glared back. He closed his eyes and growled when he looked away. "They went after my puppy, Pris. My puppy, who should not be afraid to walk to and from the fucking park we live near with her friend. Gluttony is among the fucking safest of the Rings, dammit."

"I know, Naruto." Priscilla put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in. "Look, we're all on edge after you sent the red alert out, but we can't afford to mess up this meeting with Mayor Leaper. If we can get him to back us, we can seal Beelzehaven as our territory. Once we do that, we could rally any fucking Pack you wanted in order to hunt down the fuckers that came after her, but until we get our fucking feet planted and rooted we cannot afford any bad P.R."

"I fucking know, Priscilla." Naruto growled as his claws dug into his desk. He was still pissed that some fucking 'Family' from Greed went after his Puppy. He wanted to find the fuckers responsible and use their corpses as fucking warnings, but he had to think about the short and long term effects doing so would have. He bared his teeth in a silent snarl before he relaxed. "Alright, let's go over the fucking pitch one more time. And send me a copy so I can have our contact with Beelzebub have her gloss over it."

"You mean so we can get plausible deniability if anyone tries to usurp us through her?"

"Your words, Pris." Naruto huffed around a smirk as he glanced at Himawari. She caught his stare while she was working on what looked like math and her tail wagged. She let out a small bark that he returned before he caught his P.A. staring at him unamused. "What?"

"Too soft."

"Fuck you."

"No thanks, not interested."

(Now: Beelzebub's Mansion)

The last drunk was wheeled out into a cab twenty minutes ago, which left a tired Vortex to scroll through his texts from the other members of his security crew while he leaned on his girlfriend's balcony. Cid and Gnarl were getting sick of sitting on their asses and were itching for a fight. If they had any fucking skill worth a damn, he'd send them to Wild Things, but they were just big mean bastards who were only good at deterring shit and beating up drunk or influenced partiers. The rest of the crew were getting sick of the two aforementioned bloodthirsty hounds' bitching. He sighed and rubbed his face.

"Too fuckin' hungover for this." He should've paid more attention in fuckin' school or maybe gave a shot at a fighting pit. Now he was stuck dealing with rabble and drunks, but at least there was one benefit.

"Too hungover for what, babe?"

"Just work shit." Vortex turned and grinned at his girl as she hovered up beside him. A large thermos appeared in his hand and he gave her a grateful kiss before he slurped at the contents. His eyes bulged out, he spun and spat the shit in his mouth out to the treetops. "Fuck, babe! What did you do, put espresso in a cup of sugar?"

"You don't like it? Gives me a great buzz!" Bee grinned as she snatched her thermos back and downed the whole thing. She sighed and rubbed her stomach. "The aluminum really gives it a kick. You want to try it with?"

"Uh, I'll pass."

"Your loss." Bee shrugged and looked at his phone when a new alert went off. "What's 'WTF & Pickles'?"

"It's a chat group with that friend I told you about–"

"Oh! The one that was your best friend before you totally fucked him over by stealing his girl and then getting her killed in a drunken fight with her dad about her miscarriage?" Bee asked nonchalantly as she leaned up against him. Always a master of tact and poise, his girl. Shit, Vortex loved her, but she was not the best when it came to awkward conversation topics. Especially when it came to his dead ex-girlfriend.

"...Yep, that's the one." He sighed as he opened the message and furrowed his brow. "Why does he want me to-? Oh. Uh...Hey, Babe? You might want to look this over."

"Unless it's a party schedule, a new food spot, some choice sex pics or a new track drop, I'm not really interested." Bee shrugged and turned away as she stretched her arms. "I think imma go shower before I get third breakfast, you wanna join me?"

"Yeah, sure, but...I really think you should look at this. It's a proposal to incorporate a Mercenary Company into Beelzehaven's—"

"Yawn...Don't care~!" Bee sang as she rounded a bend. "That town is for you cute little hounds to do with as you see fit! Now are you gonna come help me with washin' some of this party glitter off with your dick or not?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." Vortex sighed and sent what was basically her approval back to Naruto. He hoped that this wouldn't bite him in the ass later. Sometimes he caved to Bee's wishes a bit too eagerly, he knew, but for one thing: she was a Sin, and pissing them off was a dumb idea.

Still, ever since he'd signed those papers he just couldn't help but wonder: What if the pup hadn't died after birth like Hinata had said? What if Naruto was raising his puppy? What if he should be the one in his best friend's place, and vice versa?

"Water's already steaming without you, babe!"

"Guess I'll just have to keep wondering." Vortex sighed and set his phone on the table as he went to join his girl in the shower.

(Then: Beelzehaven East Side aka "Diamond Dog Dens")

"The fuck is this?" Vortex blinked blearily as he looked at the papers in front of him. He'd been more than a little surprised when Naruto called him up out of the blue a year after their altercation on his porch to meet. A neutral place, Hinata's preferred diner that she'd waitressed at before she told him about the pregnancy. He'd shown up early and fallen asleep against a window. A fresh cup of coffee, and the form of his best friend in the booth across from him, waited for him when he woke up.

"Forfeiture of Care Agreement." Naruto grunted around a warm cup of coffee while he scrolled through his phone.

"The fuck would I–?" Vortex stopped as he looked at the screen that was set in front of him. A little pup, maybe a year if not two old with a lavender hue of fur, was crawling toward the camera with bright blue eyes and a wide puppy smile on its small toothed face. The features were different but the coat color had him swallow his tongue. "Oh fuck, man...It looks just like-"

"She happens to have the same colors as Hinata. I know." Naruto growled and pulled his phone back. He finished his coffee, set the cup to the side and leaned forward with his fingers intertwined. "We both know pregnancies happen fast and births even faster, so let's cut the shit. You either sign this paper now and you get visitation rights on my okay, or this goes to fucking court. And for all the money you have at your disposal, you still have a larger record than I do. Will it suck to blow stacks in a fight for my puppy? Absolutely, but I'll do it over and fucking over again. She's mine, Vortex. Fuck whatever any blood test says. Now you either sign this fucking thing, or go call your fucking attourney."

It took a moment for the meaning behind what was being asked of him to sink in. The last year had been hard for Vortex. Losing his girl, potentially his pup, and getting accused of being an indirect cause of her death had sent him off of a bender. He was coming back, though, clawing his way back into the bar bouncing gigs he was used to and had performed since he was sixteen and first sprouted to 'fuck off' sizes. And yeah, maybe this pup was his and Hinata's, but maybe it wasn't. Maybe Naruto was the biological father, so what? Besides, Vortex was still in the prime of his life, and his big time party years were just around the corner.

Naruto might be willing to sacrifice the party animal years for this pup that might not be his, but Vortex? Already having so much shit happen before them? He needed to unwind. Needed a release. And fatherhood? It just...wasn't for him.

"Say fucking less, dude."

He took the pen and signed it, then Naruto followed suit. A cute poodle-like waitress, Kimmie or something, signed as their third non-affiliated witness. Vortex thanked her by fucking her brains out in the bathroom. When he was done, Naruto was gone and the bill was paid.

(Now: I.M.P. Office)

Most secretaries actually had to fucking work for a living, but given how not busy their new start-up was, Loona had more than enough free time on her hands to do whatever the fuck she wanted. Most of the time that meant scrolling through her social media feeds, ordering lattes to pick up on the way home, or reading the latest exposé released in Bitches' Monthly, a weekly dirt rag that was occasionally hysterical and operated by a small time Hound group she used to know back in the orphanage. Right now, however, she was watching old interviews with her headphones in.

"...Best way to get in shape is with a balance of cardio, combat and control. Not exactly what you want to hear from a Hellborn, but if you want to get like me without genetics aiding you, you need to be diligent and determined, y'know." The Naruto in the studio interview from a year or so back said. Given he was easily eight and a half feet of solid muscle when he walked on the set in a tight blue polo and black shorts, yeah. Yeah, she saw value in his words. With every subtle twitch his chest or arms or face made she saw value.

Loona still couldn't believe that she'd be going on a date with that value in two days.

The video ended and the office phone rang twice. Dammit. She had to actually work now. With a frustrated growl, she set her Hellphone down and snagged the receiver to put to her ear.

"Yeah, what'd ya want?" Loona asked as she went through the rest of her search history.

"Hello, uh, miss, erm, Toona?"

Oh. Great. It's the horny birdbrain. Loona rolled her eyes.

"He's out on a job right now. I'll leave a message that you called."

"Ah! Well, very good then! Aerm…Good day to you."

"Whatever." Loona hung up just as Blitzø poked his head out of his office from where he was sleeping off the hangover he had after getting shitfaced for the 'free money' they earned yesterday. Millie and Fatty both called off. Loona...well, she was riding the high of her excitement.

"Hey, uh, Loony, who was that?"

"Our birdbrained benefactor. Wanted another lay."

"Ohh...You told him–?"

"You're out on a job. You're clear for the next six hours at least." Loona drawled as she kept scrolling through her phone. A sudden vice grip had her snarl at the arms around her sides. "Get the fuck off of me!"

"Thanks, Loony! You're the best secretary I could've ever asked for!"

"I said get off!" Loona snarled as she grabbed his face, peeled him away from her and threw him across the room. Ugh, she wouldn't have to deal with this if she got a job anywhere else...but then she couldn't do whatever the fuck she wanted if she got a job anywhere else.

"Love..you..too..!" The imp groaned. She huffed and ignored him, putting her headphones back in as she picked the next interview to watch. This one was a post...cage fight?! He was a cage fighter? This Loona had to see.

For purely ethical and scientific reasons, you understand.

(Now: Business Boulevard, Wild Things Facilitated)

Jiraiya, you better fucking be dead or dying right now, I swear on every fucking thing evil!

"I'm terribly sorry for not being able to greet you properly, Mayor Leaper," Naruto said as he carried Himawari on his hip while she dozed on his shoulder. It was a quarter to One and his grandfather was late, worse yet, his One o'clock meeting showed up fifteen fucking minutes early. Because of fucking course they would. He held his right hand out as his P.A. gave him another disapproving look after she glanced at the sleeping puppy he hugged with his arm. He gave her a sharp glare back that cowed her properly and then smiled once more as the short, one-eared Scottish Terrier-headed Hellhound took his hand and shook it.

"Say no more, m'boy! Say no more!" Mayor Leonard Leaper chuckled and smiled at the dozing pup. "Ah, I remember my supposed illegitimate rapscallions when they were all cute and sweet like that. Grew into a bunch of bastards they did. You seem to have this one in line."

"The Pup's asleep, Leonard, not deaf." The gruff eyepatch wearing, brown-coated wolf-like Hellhound growled as she muscled her way into the room. She glared up at Naruto with her one good eye and then glanced down at the pup in his arm. She glared back up and huffed as her arms crossed. "So this is what you finally settled down into, huh? Raising a bastard out of wedlock?"

"Chief Tsume." He forced a grin as his eyes narrowed. His grip on his puppy tightened just slightly before she whimpered and nuzzled into his shoulder. He stepped to the side and gestured to the seats across from his desk. "What a fucking pleasure it is to have you join us today."

"Yeah, you fucking wish, brat." The elder hellhound scoffed as she walked past him and took a seat. The mayor shared a look with him before the little perv waggled his brows. Anti-Christ save him, he had to suffer these two political forces on his own and shield his fucking daughter from their shit. He was going to strangle his grandfather with his own bare fucking hands.

"Do you want me to take-?" Priscilla asked softly as she reached for Himawari. Naruto curled his lip in warning. He knew she wouldn't let anything happen to Himawari, but today she had been laser focused on this meeting, and he wasn't risking her for anything after yesterday. If he had to suffer the 'handicap' of caring for his tired little girl after she blitzed through her schoolwork for the day - getting much better marks than her shithead of a father did when he was a puppy in his orphanage's mandatory training - then he fucking would. He'd faced down Hellhounds, Lesser Demons and Imps with way scarier backgrounds and appearances than the 'Eternal Mayor' Leaper and a bitch Police Captain-turned-Chief that had known his dad or something.

"Now, what's this proposal your company wishes to offer?" Mayor Leaper asked once Naruto took his seat behind his desk and let Himawari slide down his frame to curl on his lap. He arched a brow as he gently stroked his daughter's head behind the ears.

"Not going to ask for a refreshment or two first?" The mayor of Beelzehaven was a notorious boozehound. Had an issue with inhalants and the like, but miraculously dropped it when it made his polls drop one point. He's still never been seen with so much as a cigarette in his hand.

"I have my own request to make, and its best I do so sober, or so my advisors tell me." Leaper shrugged. Naruto glanced at Tsume, who huffed.

"I don't indulge when I'm on the clock."

"Very well." Naruto grabbed two prepared folders and tossed one and then the other across his desk. All without removing his other hand from Himawari. He let them crack the files open and read over them for a minute before he spoke: "We, well, I, want to make Beelzehaven the safest city in Hell. I am offering the means and hound power of Wild Things Facilitated to make this happen."

The two older hounds stared at him and stared at him and stared at him before the shorter of the two laughed. Tsume glanced down at his puppy and then back up. Her one eye narrowed and he matched it before her chin dipped slightly in approval. Her gaze darted at the Mayor and he returned the subtle gesture.

Yeah, he figured that would be the hard sell.

"Is something funny, Mayor Leaper?" He asked.

"The notion that any city could be safer than Beelzehaven is. We have Queen Bee-Lzebub protecting us, what more could we need, my boy?"

"What more could we need? Well–" Naruto was cut off as the door was thrown open despite Priscilla's snapped "You're fucking too late, dipshit!"

"Hey! Brat, sorry about that, traffic in Lust is terrible–Tsume!" Jiraiya grinned at the lone lady in the room. She arched a brow at him and he gave her a once over. "Still a feral beauty, you down for another romp sometime for old times sake?"

"Ah, Mister Jiraiya, I didn't expect to see you today."

"Ah! M-Mayor Leaper, what a surprise. How's Delores? Still divorced?"

"Yes, yes, and quite upset over it as well!" The Mayor chuckled. "She still asks me if I have your number whenever alimony negotiation comes up."

"That's...Uh, great? Listen, love to chat, but I can tell I'm interrupting something, and I'm just here to make a pick up." Jiraiya grinned and then looked at Naruto, who kept a cold glare locked on his person. Fifty-two minutes late. This old bastard was walking dead on his feet, he just didn't know it yet. He walked around the two political opponents and reached for Himawari. Naruto grabbed his wrist and growled at him.

"Fifty-two. Fucking. Minutes."

"Look, I can't help it, those big ta-tas were all over me and I couldn't get a say in edgewise. When inspiration strikes, you've got to hit when the iron's hot, kid." Translation: Got ambushed, no one I know. All dead. Got feelers out, waiting on a report.

Naruto sniffed and squinted. Burnt skin was faint but present in the air. He glanced his grandfather over and spotted a hint of soot on his cheek. He looked him in the eye. Jiraiya looked back and his nose twitched subtly.

"...Next time just get their fucking numbers." He grumbled and gently lifted his daughter to her great-grandfather's waiting hands. Much to his heart's dismay, Himawari didn't transfer peacefully. She whined until she was able to recognize another familiar scent and relaxed against her 'Grump's shoulder. Jiraiya then grabbed her stuff from her corner and left without another word. Once the door closed, Naruto rose up from his seat and put his hands on his desk.

"Chief, Mr. Mayor," he said to get the Hellhounds' attention. "This meeting is simply a formality. With or without your support, Wild Things Facilitated will be moving ahead with this operation. We have the people, we have the funding, and we have Queen Bee's support."

"If that's true, then why bother having us here brat?" Tsume asked. Naruto looked her in the eye. There was still a hint of interest there and a gleam of approval if he read her posture right. He curled his lip.

"Because frankly, I think it would make everyone's life easier if we were all on the same fucking page."

"This is Hell, boy. Have you not considered that what you're suggesting is honestly impossible?" Mayor Leaper asked around a guffaw. Naruto growled at him and the 'eternal' Mayor shook his head. "You're young, you'll learn. Trust me, accept the impossibility now and save yourself the headache. There's too many variables for you to keep everything in order. Leave such concerns to the politicians in charge–"

"Trust you? When you had five bastard children out of wedlock, didn't claim a single one of them until they threatened to go public with paternity results; three failed marriages with two of your ex-wives after your head on a pike while the third wants the other head back inside her for the agreed upon spawn she was promised?" Naruto asked flatly. The Mayor stammered while Chief Tsume barely managed to swallow back a snort. Naruto walked around his desk and turned the Mayor's chair to face him before he looked down at him with bared teeth. "I've seen what your leadership allows, Mayor Leaper...I've seen the shit you and your fellow councilmen let slide when the right paw is greased. Hell, I've greased some of them myself to get where I am today, but unlike you, I didn't do any of that for me. I did it for my puppy, that same puppy who everyone in this building would kill for. That same puppy that is currently being watched by my grandfather. Do you know why she's not in school today?"

"B-Because she wasn't feeling well?"

"Because she was almost fucking abducted yesterday! In our Ring! All she was doing was walking home from the fucking park and some Greed fucks almost managed to fucking snag her! Instead they got her friend!" Naruto snarled as he got in the Mayor's face. The Mayor yelped and flinched back away from the larger Hellhound's teeth. He caught the low growl Tsume released and met her gaze. "Before you ask, the pup is safe, we recovered her before anything could be filed and the 'family' behind the issue is going to be dealt with."

"...Don't tell me anything else," she growled and crossed her arms. "I want plausible deniability."

"Fine." Naruto's eyes narrowed and he continued to bare his teeth as he got back in the Mayor's face. "You see that? Tsume fucking gets it, so why don't you actually fucking think about it for a minute. This isn't a fucking takeover, but it is an occupation. Make no mistake, the Hellhounds in Beelzehaven and Beelzehaven itself are not your playthings anymore. You can keep your chair and office, but check your fucking wallet and the wallets of the rest of your administration. Check the wallets of the fucking City Council while you're at it. Because if my people find out you got a single fucking penny from whoever organized this attack against me? You won't have to fucking worry about the next election year. Get me?"

"Y-You can't th-threaten me like th-that…"

"Mr. Mayor...I'm not threatening you." Naruto looked him dead in the eye as he snarled. "I'm promising you: I won't just end you, I will erase you. Check your fucking accounts...and check 'em real good. You've got thirty-six hours to get your affairs in order and you've got twenty-four to get back to us with the entire Council's approval. Understood?"

"...I...Y...Ch-Chief Tsu–!"

"I'm a mother of five, Leonard." Tsume sat back in her seat and crossed one leg over the other. "Youngest runt's not much older than his. If his pup almost got snatched from–"

"Hellhound Heights' park."

"Even better! The Heights! His pup was almost snatched from– Motherfucker, a pup was snatched from The Heights!" Tsume slapped the desk. She glared into the Mayor's eyes with her lone good one. "That's one puppy too many, and of all Rings, no Hellhound should not feel safe in fucking Gluttony, let alone in Beelzehaven."

"Thank you." Naruto stood up, fixed the Mayor's seat – making him yelp again – and went back to his seat. He sat down, cracked his neck and let out a harsh huff before he looked at the Mayor. "Now. There was a matter you wanted to bring up? A potential job, perhaps? Protection detail?"

"...Y-Yes."

"Mister Mayor, would this detail be against any possible assassination attempts made by – the fuck was her name?" Naruto pulled another file from his desk and opened it. "Janice, ex-wife number three?"

"Y...Yes."

"Tell you what," Naruto closed the file and smiled at the small trembling Mayor. There was a faint whiff of urine in the air. He ignored it. "If and when your finances come back clean from any influence from outside the Ring...I'll ensure you have the best of my Hounds available to protect you at any public or private event. For only twenty-five percent more than any other average group's detail would cost. Sound fair?"

"...Very. Very generous, my boy."

"Good. ..Oh, and, Mr. Mayor, one more thing?" Naruto lost his smile and growled. "I am not your boy. Got it?"

"Yes." Mayor Leaper gulped. Naruto glared at him for another minute before he smiled.

"...The meeting is over, you can run home now." The Mayor was gone in a flash. Naruto snorted and Tsume rubbed her face. He glanced at her. "Is he always like that?"

"A pompous ass? Yes."

"...Did you mean it?" Naruto asked, leaning back and crossing his arms. "When you gave me support?"

"Naruto Uzumaki, I've known of you since before you were born: Today you only solidified what I thought of you." Tsume huffed as she got to her feet. He followed suit and walked around to escort her off of the floor.

"And that is?"

"You're an arrogant, loud-mouthed shit."

"Yeah, never exactly denied that." He shrugged. They stopped at the elevator and Tsume smirked at him.

"I also knew that you'd mellow the fuck out once you had kids. Never expected it to happen this soon."

"You and me, both." He snorted and she laughed. She clapped his shoulder and stepped on the elevator. She stopped the doors before they closed and smirked at him.

"Send some of your boys down to the academy to whip up some proper cadets that you won't poach, and I'll publicly give you my support on the City Council."

"Done." Naruto nodded. He held his hand out. Tsume took it and they shook, but something slipped into his claws before her hand pulled away.

Hana Inuzuka, V.D.

St. Ann's, Sloth

xxx-267-5377

"What the fuck–?"

"My daughter needs a good fuck and she doesn't go out to bars anymore. Call her up sometime." Tsume ordered more than she suggested and he stared at the number. Before he could give the card back and decline, the elevator doors shut. His left eye twitched.

"You've gotta be shitting me." That bitch is ten years my fucking senior!

"I could investigate it for you–"

"Go wild." Naruto sighed and held the number out to his P.A., who grinned widely at the offered card. She was the right age to scratch whatever itch Hana had without finding it weird. He rubbed his face and walked back to his office. "Get Rex and Kodi up here for a personal debrief and get a fucking tail on Mayor Leaper."

"You don't trust him?"

"No, but I also don't want him dead yet." Naruto sighed and retreated into his office. He needed a drink, and he just restocked his scotch stash for this occasion. Shame the Mayor had to treat it like a joke, but at least he had the Chief of Police on his side.

AN: Hostile takeover? In this economy?!

Ominous!

Thanks for reading, all!