Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

Who's That Father?

Live For The Moment

(Then: Beelzehaven, Rave Town)

The last time Vortex stood on this porch he'd been drunk and punched his former best friend in the face. He hesitated before he lifted his fist and knocked on the door. Was it a total dick move to show up out of the blue to ask for a couch to crash on? Yes. But he had nowhere else to go.

His father was dead after a robbery gone wrong, the money he had was left to some hobbyist group after Vortex showed no interest in the business, and his mother had been gone much longer than that. Bills had piled up until he couldn't afford them and he was kicked from his last bouncing gig after he and his boss' girl – who he did not know was his boss' girl, since she looked nothing like his boss' wife – got busted making out. That snafu got him blacklisted from other clubs' bouncing gigs and no one was looking for a eight foot thug to bodyguard them.

Vortex stopped thinking about how he wound up here again when he heard some steady footsteps coming to the door.

"Go find Grump, Pickle, Daddy's got the door–Oh." The Runt pulled the door open and – shit, were they at eye level? Huh, he finally hit his growth spurt – blinked. "Vortex?"

"...Hey." Ah, yes. So very composed, put together and well thought out as a greeting. He spotted the nearly empty living room just past the still thinner Hellhound's shoulder. "What's with all the boxes? Are you moving or something?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah I am." Naruto grinned, Pride radiated from him as if he was a Sinner from the Ring. He held the door open and let Vortex in, not as guarded as he was the last time they met, at that diner a few months ago. "Just got a place over in The Heights. Two stories, three baths...It's...I don't want Pickle to grow up here."

"...Pickle?" Vortex repeated. As if wanting to answer his question, a little lavender puppy toddled out from around the corner that led to the one bedroom in the shack and slammed into Naruto's leg from the side with a yip. He grunted and took a half-step forward from the impact before he growled and snatched up the giggling puppy. The orange hound pushed his nose into her cheek as he nuzzled her, the squealed keen she let out had Vortex's ears flinch back. Shit, that puppy was loud. Maybe he'd be better off trying to hook up with someone and just crashing with them...

"Himawari, I told you to go find Grump." He grumbled into the puppy's face, even though his tail had started to wag, not as fast as the pup's was.

"Yah Bfhi Grump, Dad-dee!"

"Oh, yeah? Is that right?" Naruto chuckled and then looked at Vortex, who felt...so out of place. His friend adjusted the pup so that she was held against his chest in his right arm and he poked a claw on her nose. "Sunflower, Daddy wants you to meet someone, okay? This...This is Vortex."

Two big, bright blue eyes turned toward him and Vortex felt his breath catch in his throat. She was...definitely Hinata's daughter. Unholy shit, the resemblance was so fucking uncanny. Vortex remembered he was just meeting her for the first time and tried to smile. The little pup immediately went shy and became his late girlfriend's daughter tenfold as she shrunk back into herself with a whine.

"Pickle?" Naruto arched his eyebrow and shot a confused look at Vortex before he put his full attention on the pup. Okay, well, despite his former friend's turn around in life, apparently he's still an oblivious idiot in terms of feelings. The puppy whined and Naruto fucking cooed – Vortex didn't even know he was capable of making that sound, or any sound, other than the typical growls or snarls – as he bounced her. "Oh, no. Baby Girl? Pickle, what's wrong?"

"Scaw-ee!" The big blue eyes that looked just like Hinata's were suddenly buried into the cream and orange blend on Naruto's neck. Scary? Wh–? His scarred eye. Right. He was used to She-Hounds liking the vacant eye. A badge of shame, a reminder of his failure that he wore so proudly whenever he put the moves on a She-Hound. He almost flinched, and his smile dimmed at the strange twinge in his chest.

"This guy? Nah," Naruto laughed as he rubbed the puppy's back. "C'mon, sweetie, Vortex isn't scary." The cold blue gaze he remembered from their last encounter was suddenly locked with Vortex's lone good eye and a soft snarl was thrown after it. "Say something, dipshit!"

"Uh, hi there, er...Hima-wory?"

"Himawari. Fuck, dude, ease off on the teeth, will you? Haven't you ever interacted with a puppy before?" Naruto snorted at him as he stroked down the pup's back. Vortex wanted to tell him that he hadn't, that he was legally not allowed to interact with this one without Naruto's okay, but...shit, right now he was glad he didn't have the puppy. If he scared her just standing around, he didn't want to imagine how she'd react if he had to be a hardass...

"Scaw-ee, Dad-dee! Scaw-ee!" The puppy's tail curled along with her lower half as she whined and whimpered. "Asmou Bungs scaw-ee, Dad-dee!"

"Asmou bu–...Oh, I know what this is about." Naruto rolled his eyes with a chuckle as he stroked the puppy's back and nuzzled her head. "Okay, Pickle, that's enough, he's not 'Anubis'. C'mon, sweetheart, he's not here to get his ass kicked by Daddy. He's just standing there...Dude, fuckin' relax, will you? She's just a little spooked by your ugly ass mug – it kind of looks like one of the guys I fought. She'll chill out more if you loosen up."

"Ugly, fuck you, Ru–!" Vortex started to snarl and stopped when the puppy let out a louder whine. Naruto gave him a flat scowl and he let his ears fold back. Right. Not a drunk insulting him, just...just friendly ribbing. Like they used to do. He rubbed his neck. "Sorry."

"It's fuckin' fine. Don't take it personal, the move is stressing her out. She'll either fall asleep or calm down in a minute or two," Naruto said with a half-shrug. He kissed the pup's head before he tilted his head and looked at Vortex. "So, what's up man? Been a while since the Diner. It wasn't a restraining order, y'know. I'd have thought you'd at least come around to meet her sooner."

"I…" Vortex let his shoulders slump. "I never, uh...thought about it."

"Eh, that's fair. What's up?"

"I was gonna ask if I could crash on your couch."

"...I'm your last option, right?" Naruto asked, clearly bemused. Vortex chuckled and nodded.

"Yes, yeah...Dad got done in a few months ago and his funeral kind of wiped out my savings...and while that was happening I...fucked around with the wrong bitch–"

"Hey, uh, not to be that kind of dick, but can you ease up on the fuckin' language a bit?" Naruto asked. Vortex stared at him incredulously and the orange Hellhound rolled his eyes. "The 'B' word, dude. I don't want her callin' any of the Hellhound's at my company a 'bitch'. Well, not yet." A beat passed as Vortex stared at him and the other hound blinked. "What?"

"Nothin' it's just...You are such a fuckin' father, Naruto." Vortex deadpanned. His own dad might've done something like that a time when he was younger. Like, really small. It was...so fucking surreal to hear the vitrol-spewing, hotheaded Runt – who wasn't much of a Runt anymore – doing the same thing.

Another proud smile spread across his former friend's face and he looked at the still trembling puppy in his arms.

"Yeah." He stroked the little lavender fluffball's back and nuzzled her head. That twinge was back, only this time a pit came with it, one that opened in Vortex's gut. What was–? As the puppy nuzzled into his neck and peeked out of the corner of her eye to meet Vortex's one red eye, Naruto grinned at the puppy. "It's...It's really something else...So, why do you need to crash with me? Sorry about your dad, by the way. He was...a good one."

"...Right, um, thanks. ...I uh...I accidentally put the moves on my boss' side-bi–er, side-piece."

"Accidentally?" Naruto arched his brow.

"He's got a wife and I hadn't seen the She-Hound before, like, listen, Runt, she was so fine." Vortex grinned as his tail wagged. What? He liked talking about She-Hounds. "Curves where it mattered, a sexy dye job and she was wearing this tight red number–"

"Okay, Mr. One-Eyed Monster," the other Hellhound snorted. "I get the idea. Look, I can get you a room for a night or two at De Mian. That work?"

"...Y-yeah, man. I just–" De Mian was one of the ritziest hotels near Beelzehaven's East Side. It was really fucking pricy. Like, even with all the money he had at his disposal at his best, Vortex wouldn't even pretend to dream he could afford a night there. "How can you–?"

"Didn't anyone tell you?" Naruto grinned. "I started up a PMC and business is boomin'!"

Oh. Huh.

(Now: Pride, Verosika Mayday's (Temporary) Offices)

Vortex's world was officially flipped on its fucking head. Nothing made sense to him anymore. What he thought that his relationship was just sort of...wasn't. There was such a hot, searing pain in his chest, and he wanted it to be anger, so fuckin' bad, but he couldn't...It wasn't. He didn't know this feeling. He just knew he didn't like it.

Thankfully, he wasn't alone with that.

"Queen Bee, I think I speak for everyone when I say, uh, what the actual fuck?!" Verosika snapped at the Sin from her seat at a large table. The very Sin who had just dropped the largest bomb on him when she tried to pull him away from the fuckin' job that he actually liked to do. The same very Sin he'd thought cared about him as much as he did her.

"Look, I don't fuckin like it either, but if this doesn't happen, then... You think Hell sucks now? It can get fuckin' worse." Bee grumbled from where she lounged mid-air. Not even bothering to put up pretenses that she needed to act like the Hounds she partied with and walk. Her belly was a constant flux of oranges and reds rather than the placated neon blues and pinks. She was really upset.

"Oh, really? I call bullshit," Verosika scoffed. She put a hand on the table and pointed at Bee. "Listen, you're fucking Bee-Lzebub, the Queen of Gluttony, Parties and Jackasses galore, so you tell this assmunch that Tex has a job–!"

"Don't make me get Ozzie involved, Vee. Please." Bee's quiet request was heard by all in the room as she gave the Succubus a look. Verosika's argument died on her lips and the sin looked at Vortex. "...Babe–"

"I...I need a minute." Vortex held a hand up and ducked his face down as his other hand rubbed over his eyes. He took a deep breath in and a shuddered breath came out. He looked back up into her eyes. "I just...Why me? Because we're together?"

"...Partially."

Well, at least she wasn't lying to him. Did she ever lie to him? Vortex wanted to say she didn't, but after she confronted him about Himawari and dropped her plans to rut Naruto, he started to wonder. He started to feel guilt for wondering, guilt because he'd lied to her. He'd spied on her to the same fuckin' hound she wanted to – not cheat, it wasn't cheating; she was up-front and open about her plans and, as Hell Law was often paraphrased, his silence was an omitted approval – screw.

"Partially?"

"He was really fucking vague about it. Buzz-kill asshat." Bee grumbled. She looked down. "He said we have nine days...and...Vortex...you know, I do care about you, right?"

"...I know." If she didn't she wouldn't tell him about anything. She wouldn't trust him to know things he really shouldn't know. He wanted to just go with his girl and cheer her up, but...He couldn't. The stupid responsible part of his brain that turned on sometime after he hit twenty was nagging at him. "I...Give me a few days with Vee, Bee."

"But–!"

"I want to get some affairs in order." Vortex said as he nodded at Verosika. "I have a contract with her and it sounds like this guy, the... Shadow? ...He's not gonna let me uphold it. I don't want that to bounce back on her."

"...Okay." Bee smiled, floated over and hugged his neck. She kissed his cheek. "Big going away party for you when you come back, alright? Tell your friends."

"...Can you...make it a small one?" Vortex asked. Bee frowned at him and he shrugged. "There's a she-hound I met some time back, I don't think she gets out much. Jittery and nervous and shit."

"...You're too cute, Tex." Bee giggled and pushed her nose to his. "Small party on Monday sound good? Then you and I can have a Private Party for the rest of the week."

"Yeah, sounds good, Bee." Vortex smiled thinly. He'd be more stoked about it when it happened, he was sure, it was just too...raw right now. He kissed her back when she pressed her lips on his and waited until she left before he looked at The Crew of Succubi and Incubi around him. He sighed and held his arms out. "C'mon, guys, bring it in."

The ensuing cuddle pile was one full of tears and bitter innuendos as they cracked open some beers and dealt with this newest fuckery the only way they knew how: by getting absolutely shitfaced.

(Now: Pride, Buckzo Apartment)

A low growl filled the air as Loona tried to put her makeup on in peace, but she was constantly pestered by the living annoyance that was her adoptive father banging on the bathroom door. Wednesday came and left so fast she didn't even realize it was Thursday until her alarm went off. Blitzø was supposed to be out for another hour hooking up with the stupid owl-faced sponsor of his business. If he was even the slightest bit plastered, this would be so much more bearable.

This was so fucking typical, everything else was going according to her plans so of course Blitzø would have to ruin something. Ugh, and Loona had even managed to get a nice long shower in before she groomed her hair and tail to perfection. The lost cause that was the patch of her upper-middle back's fur was smoothed by the tight mesh long sleeve she had on under her cropped, black tank top and the plaid red skirt she wore complimented her eyes. She was so glad this was a dining-in dinner and – since she was pretty sure their plans for dessert were on the same page, sweet fuck she hoped they were – she could wear clothes she wouldn't be bothered to lose.

"Okay, Loony! Daddy's gotta shit, so either pinch it off or scoot over!"

She snarled.

"Hold it another fuckin' second!"

"No can do! I don't know what the fuck Envy Camalari is, but it is going right through me!" The bathroom doorknob jostled a few times before a gunshot made her ears flinch. Fucker, she was so not covering the maintenance fee for that! Blitzø kicked the door open and immediately stopped to cup his hands against his cheeks. "Awww, look at my sweet Loony-Toony! So pretty!"

"I will rip your fucking trachea out, give me three fucking minutes." Loona growled as she carefully applied her mascara. "Weren't you supposed to be screwing Prince What's-his-face or whatever by now?"

"Yeah, he ordered the Hellcock and uh...It didn't agree with his system." Blitzø chuckled. "I told him ritzy places couldn't cook chicken right. Dunno why he keeps taking me to them lately."

"...Oh my fucking shit, you're an idiot." Loona grumbled. She snarled when he tried to scoot past her. "Hey! I said fuckin' wait!"

"Enn! Not happening tonight, kiddo. This deposit's gotta be made or these pants are fucked in a bad way!" Blitzø's belt buckle came undone and Loona gagged with the sheer fucking amount of pent up of ass smell was released. "Wheew, if I wasn't sure that shit was dead before, it is now, huh?"

"You're so fucking gross!" Loona whined as she grabbed her makeup and fled from the strong stench. "Dammit, Blitzø! My Doomer's gonna be here in six fuckin' minutes and I'm not ready yet!"

"Well, what's the plan? You headin' to a club or something? Get some drinks with your gal-pals? I could give you a – huunnngh, it's a fighter!" The quietest fucking plop reached her ears. "Uhhhh, there we go! – lift, haahh...Oh, fuck, round two, let's do it bitch!"

"Abso-fuckin-lutely not." Loona deadpanned. She groaned and went to the shitty television in the living room to use that as a mirror. She growled and tried to manage the rest of her mascara, everything else could fucking deal...Dammit. She whined when her phone started to vibrate. "Fuck, they're too fuckin early. Ugh, this impatient jackass isn't getting a fuckin' tip."

"Wait, honey, what if you need a lift?! Where am I picking you up fr–Oohhhhhhhhh my Satan, what the fuck did I eat?!"

Ignoring her father's pained cries, Loona fled out of the apartment and practically flew down the stairwell, checking her phone as she did. Her driver was a small imp with a Grim-lane – Oh, dammit. Stupid cheap ass phone glitched again, she needed to fucking use the gold bars she had to upgrade it already. Okay, not an imp anymore. Huh, that's a handsome Mutt-like Hellhound, what's he doing driving for Doomer in a...In an Anti? Shit, why the fuck would anyone in that nice of a car drive it in this shithole end of Pride? Ugh, whatever, maybe he expected a bigger tip for the nice ride. Not happening. When she got to the car, she threw the back door open and scowled at the white furred Hound that was waiting for her.

"You're too early–!"

"Three minutes. Relax. It's for the best, trust me." The driver looked back at her with a smirk. "You're Loona then? Nice t' meet ya, name's Mitch. We got one quick stop in Gluttony before yours, that okay?"

How late would she be? Loona checked her phone and bit her lip at the reflection in it. She'd have more time to fix her makeup...fuck it, whatever.

"You're not getting a tip."

"Oh, no, my poor fuckin' wallet. However, will I go on?" Mitch scoffed as he pulled out in a reverse U-turn that she was not braced for in the slightest. She snarled at him after she pulled her face out of the leather of his passenger seat and he glanced at her in the mirror. "You might want to buckle up."

"Thanks, douchebag, I just figured that out!" Loona growled as she put the belt on. He laughed and the rest of the drive was performed in relative silence. And surprisingly smoothly. Smooth enough that she could fix her makeup even during the strange spiraling road that led them to Gluttony. A text alert from Blitzø had her roll her eyes.

(Loony, cend ur lokashun wan u get dere!)

(Just en cass u nede a ride!)

(Or u cud turn it on now so u dunt 4get!)

Did he really think she was that stupid? This wasn't the first time she had to evade the fuckin' helicopter father that was Blitzø. Rather than ignore his messages, lest he keep blowing her phone up, Loona scoffed and sent a message back.

(Did u lose the car?)

(How the fuck did I lose site of a fucking ANTI?)

(Ignure that)

(That's 4 mixxie)

(Mucksey)

(Moxie)

Loona narrowed her eyes and snarled.

(Stop fuckin following me n go HOME)

(before u shit in the van or smth)

(2 L8)

"Ugh, too much fuckin information, Blitzø."

"Is that the Imp that was driving that van behind us you're texting?"

Loona slowly looked up at the driver as he stared at her in the mirror. Her eyes narrowed even as his kept darting back to the road.

"Pull over."

"Can't, sorry. Runnin' a bit behind as it is. Got lost in Pride, all the fuckin' roads in Imp City look the fucking same."

"Fucker, I will reach up there and rip your throat out! Pull ov–!" Loona started to get out of her seat when the driver held a pistol up over his shoulder and cocked his thumb down the hammer. His eyes narrowed in the mirror as they remained on the road.

"Sit down, Loona."

Growling, Loona sat.

"There's a good girl. You gonna attack me as soon as I lower the gun?"

"No, I'll sit here and be quiet like a good little bitch – Yes, dumbass!" Loona snarled. Like she'd let this fucker off after he tried to make her submit at gunpoint. If this was going to be like that stupid night with Damian–!

"I figured. Listen, my name is Mitch, I work with Wild Things, and in case you haven't noticed, we're all a little tense." He growled back and she bared her teeth. Like she'd believe that without any proof. "I'd give you my card, but that would require me to have a third hand. So, here's the rundown: You've got a date with my boss, good for you. He doesn't know I'm driving you right now, and I need it to stay that way, so don't send him any messages other than 'on my way' and 'I'm here', alright?"

"...Oh my fuckin–Are you giving me the 'protective' brother treatment?" Loona asked. Talk about a stupid fucking cliché. She was half-tempted to send the message despite the warning.

"Nah, I'm driving you to the one that will." He chuckled. "Did he ever tell you about his assistant?"

"...The bitch?"

"He didn't describe her like that, right? I don't want her to kill him." Mitch muttered. Loona blinked, but before she could answer, they pulled up to a stop outside a lavish apartment complex and the locks activated. Mitch honked his horn and turned in his seat to grin at her. "Can I put my sidearm away? Please? I promise, I'm just trying to drive you to Boss' place."

"How attached are you to your fucking larynx?" Loona growled.

"Yeesh, you almost sound like Roxanne. Heh, I knew the Boss had a type. Rex owes me fifty bucks."

"I'm not like Roxanne!" Loona snapped with bared teeth. Mitch arched a brow at her and she crossed her arms. Her head turned away with a huff. "That bitch is some kind of bi-polar...I'm just fuckin pissed."

"...Fair–" Mitch cut himself off as the passenger door opened. His ears perked up and he grinned. "Oh, hey! How's it going, Priscilla?"

"Mitchel, why the fuck is your sidearm aimed at her?!" A gorgeous Saluki-like Hellhound snapped as she slid into the car wearing a sleek black dress. Sweet sadistic fuck, Naruto worked with this knockout? ...Fuck, Loona was so underdressed.

"She got hostile!"

"Beelzebub's bottomless appetite–You're a fucking idiot, remind me to put you on latrine duty later." The bombastic babe in the passenger seat glared at the driver and then climbed through the space between the seats to sit beside Loona while the cowed mutt shut the passenger door. Without ruffling her dress or ruining her coat's combing. Wow, that's...talent. The chocolate-coated She-Hound turned to her with a soft huff. "I'm so sorry about him, our usual driver for this sort of thing is far less...Mitch about things."

"Ouch, Boss Lady."

"Shut the fuck up and drive." The babe snarled and then turned back to Loona with an appraising eye. Oh, shit, Loona felt like she was being singled out by Vikki all over again. She felt her tail curl over her legs. "You're Pride-born, right?"

"Yes." Loona gulped as the car started moving again. The older she-hound hummed and set her hand purse in her lap before she withdrew a deceptively thick Hellphone from it.

"Adopted at seventeen, in the orphanage your entire life? ...Does Pride not have Packs you could've run to?"

"Not like Gluttony does." Loona looked into it, most packs outside of Gluttony were adults that were struggling to get by.

"I see. Twenty-two...no meaningful relationships...unvaccinated?" Red eyes snapped up to meet hers and Loona felt her ears fold back. She growled defensively.

"...I don't fuckin' like needles..." The suspicious glare softened into one of understanding.

"Ah, yes. Shame the oral pills aren't going to be ready for another decade." Wait, there were what being made?! "Let's see...Secretary for Immediate Murder Professionals – I'd critique the name if our own company weren't called 'Wild Things Facilitated', and that was the compromise – for under a year...no prior occupation...minimal post-education, online?"

"What of it?"

"Just curious." The pretty she-hound dressed to kill – maybe literally – hummed. "Hm, have you had any sexual diseases? Scares? Are you sexually active currently?"

"Uh, Boss Lady–?"

"Drive." The She-Hound snarled and Loona gulped again as the other hound went quiet. Loona jerked back from the piercing stare leveled at her. "Well?"

"I don't have an STD." She growled. You make one fucking joke and somehow your stupid adoptive father gets it spread all across Pride that you have syphilis.

"But you are sexually active?"

"Yes!"

"Last partner and when?"

"The fuck – How is that your business, bitch?!" Loona snarled. Mitch whined and the She-Hound tilted her head.

"That long, hm? I suppose we can skip that for now." She mused and set her phone down. "My name is Priscilla, I work alongside Naruto as his Personal Assistant and consider him a dear friend. Possibly even the little brother I never had – You didn't hear that or what comes next, Mitchel."

"Oh, shit, I've suddenly been struck deaf for the rest of this drive. Weird how that happened just now." Mitch mumbled and Loona wouldn't lie, she was fucking impressed. She withheld a flinch when Priscilla suddenly leaned into her face, teeth bared in a snarl.

"If you do anything to hurt Naruto or Himawari, actively or out of insensitive oversight, you will not live to regret it. Is that understood?"

"Are you fuckin' threatening me?" Loona growled. Priscilla narrowed her eyes.

"Employees of Wild Things Facilitated do not make idle threats, like our leader, we make promises. Do not test me, Loona Buckzo, because I have been playing this game much, much longer than you have." Her eyes started to glow. "And trust me, I'm much better at it than you are."

"You don't scare me, bitch."

"Good." Priscilla smirked and sat back. Loona felt her eye twitch at the abrupt shift in tone. She pulled a compact out of her purse and checked her makeup. "We'll be arriving in Hellhound Heights in five minutes, you may want to fix your eyeliner. It's a bit skewed on the left."

"...I don't have any–Sweet fuck–!" Loona's jaw popped open as Priscilla pressed on the arm-rest and it slid open to reveal a makeup kit with all sorts of colors and supplies. A portion of the head of the passenger seat in front of her slid down to reveal a decent mirror beneath the leather. Wow.

"Perks of running a top tier operation in all of Hell as opposed to limiting clientele to the most aggravating of our denizens." Priscilla mused as she fixed her lipstick in her compact. "Whatever you use will be marked and kept to be given to you later if you wish. Better hurry, we're four minutes out."

Loona quickly scanned the kit at her left side and plucked the items she thought she could need, and some she just wanted. What? If they were going to give them to her just like that, she'd be stupid not to take it.

(Now: Hellhound Heights)

"You're going to be a good girl for Grump, right?" Naruto asked his puppy as he finished setting the boneless ribeye into the oven. The dinner was the one good bit of advice his grandfather gave to him – every other bit of advice had to do with some scene from his shitty pornos – before he agreed to take Himawari for the night. When Naruto didn't get a response, he turned to look at his puppy where she sat at the table doodling in an activity book as best she could with one hand. She looked up at him with sad blue eyes and he felt his heart crack. Setting the handtowel he used to wipe the grease off, he came over and crouched by her to gently stroke her right ear. "Himawari...what's wrong, baby?"

"...I wan' steak, too!" She whined. Naruto couldn't help himself. He laughed and kissed her head.

"Pickle! I thought you were really sad about something!" He half-chided with a grin in place. "Grump can make you some steak, just ask him."

"He doesn't make steak like you! Grump's steak is...blech and rocky. I don't like it." She grumbled. Well, he couldn't fault her for that. Jiraiya's taste buds were...skewed after a childhood spent in the wilderness of Lust. The sonovabitch tried to feed Naruto a bowl full of raw Hell-Beetles once. Hell-Beetles that were almost twice his size.

"That blech and rocky is called charred, sweet Sunflower. Just tell him you want yours nice and bloody and he'll make it the way you like it." Naruto told her as he tapped her nose. She pouted up at him and he crossed his arms. "What the fuck have I told you about making that face?"

"Not to…" She whined and leaned into his hand when he gently stroked over her head again. "I know you and Miss Loona have a date tonight, and I get to sleep over at Grumps', but why can't I have steak first?"

"Well, it's part of the grown up's rules about dating, Pickle. Miss Loona would love to have dinner with both of us, but Grump had a point," Naruto said as he leaned down to nuzzle her head with his own. Once she giggled he grinned. "You've been neglecting him and he's been so worried about his 'Wari-Wari' and her broken arm."

"How is Miss Loona gonna sign my cast if I'm not here?!"

"She'll be here tomorrow." Naruto assured his puppy and she whined again. He rolled his eyes. "Himawari, that's enough."

"I wanna have a sleepover with Miss Loona, too! It's not fair!" She whined and pouted up at him. Naruto curled his lip and knocked her on the nose with a knuckle. "Ow, Daddy!"

"Don't make that fuckin' face at me, I won't tell you again. Life's not fair, Pickle." He growled when she pouted down at her lap. "Himawari, look at me."

She looked up and – good, there was a glare rather than a pout. He glared back and waited for her to hunch her shoulders, to accept him as the superior. When she did – five seconds rather than three? Ugh, his puppy was growing up way too fast, his black heart couldn't take it – his glare lightened and he scratched at her left ear.

"Tonight's a big night for Daddy and Miss Loona, okay? If it goes well, Miss Loona might come over a lot more often–" He started only to be cut off by an excited bark. Ah, there was the bright smile he loved so dearly. His puppy's tail wagged furiously and she bounced in her seat.

"Does this mean Miss Loona is gonna be my Mommy?!"

"I didn't say that." Naruto huffed around a smirk. He also didn't not say that, but he didn't want to get ahead of himself. He tapped her on her cute little nose and leaned down to look at the puppy in her blue eyes. "But the more we convince her to stick around, maybe there's more of a chance we have of making that happen. Get it?"

"Nope!" Himawari chirped, still smiling and tail still wagging. He snorted and gathered the puppy up in his arms with a growl. She giggled and laughed as he scratched her side and nuzzled her neck.

"Pickle, you're such a little pain in my ass, y'know?" He teased around a kiss to her muzzle before he hugged her tight and she hugged him back as best she could. "Just a night, baby, alright? You and Grump get to have all sorts of fun I won't hear about. Big fun adventures and all the steak you want."

"Mm, only if it's bloody." She mumbled. They remained in the kitchen like that for a minute before Himawari sniffed. "Daddy?"

"What's up, Pickle?"

"...If Mommy...If Mommy didn't give me to you, would you still love me?"

"Always." Naruto answered without a second thought. He kissed her head when she nuzzled his neck. "Daddy will always love you, Pickle, okay? Don't ever, ever doubt that. Okay?"

"Promise?"

"On my life." Naruto swore as he huffed her scent, not even a whiff of it was the same as it was a year ago, but it was ingrained in his very being as his pup's scent. "Claws crossed, upside down, let Leviathan rise up and make fat Gluttons drown. I promise that I will always love you, Himawari."

"I love you, too, Daddy. Claws crossed."

"Mm." Naruto smiled and stroked his puppy's head before he sighed as his watch went off with an alert. Yep, there's Jiraiya. Actually on time for once? Was the Apocalypse going to start soon? He wasn–There was a knock at the door. He kissed Himawari's head one last time before he set her down. "Grump's here, go get your stuff, okay?"

"Okay."

Naruto watched her run off to the stairs and head up to grab her bag before he went to the door and let his grandfather in. The man had a six pack in hand and a white bag of stuff in the other.

"The booze," he held out and Naruto took it. The other bag was offered with a waggle of his brows. "The supplies."

"Thanks, Gramps." Naruto rolled his eyes and took the stuff into the kitchen. It was set down without another word on the counter by the fridge and turned back to his grinning grandfather, whose tail was wagging furiously. He arched his brow. "The fuck are you so happy about?"

"I can't be happy for my grandson?" He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "After all, he's finally hitting that homer and becoming a real Hellhound!"

"Himawari exists!" Naruto snarled lowly as his ears folded back when they burned. His asshole of a grandfather laughed as his longtime jab got him to react as it always did.

"Well, in my idiot grandson's words: Blood doesn't matter, so maybe she's–"

"The Queen herself confirmed it, jackass." He growled. Jiraiya's smirk dimmed into a frown.

"About that. We got a message from Vortex."

"Tell him nothing fuckin' happened and she's not come back to bother me yet." Naruto grunted.

"Not that, kid." He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and held it to him. "Read it. Eat it."

"Paranoid old–" Naruto grumbled and unfolded the paper to read. His brows furrowed then widened. "Fuck. No, fuckin–Seriously?! The fuck are the Sha–?!"

"No idea." Jiraiya cut him off before he could say the whole name and Naruto snapped a glare off at him. The older Hound shrugged. "Hey, I'm as pissed as you are that this group exists under our noses. A group of Demons on par with The Sins? That drew them to make a fucking Arrangement that Queen Bee broke? Trust me, I've got my ears to the ground and eyes looking for more info."

"This is bullshit." He glared at the message again before he stuffed it into his mouth and gulped it down. Ugh, paper. So bland. His shoulders slumped and he leaned against the countertop. "Fuckin...Shit! So, much for an eye in the Queen's Hive."

"Um, dumbass?" Jiraiya snorted and gave him a pointed look. "Guess who has a foot in the door?"

"...We are not talking about this right now. Not tonight." Naruto snarled at him with a finger pointed his way. His grandfather had the decency to nod in agreement. The orange hound let his tail lash about before he looked up and smiled as his puppy ran downstairs. Arguably, his grandfather's smile was wider.

"Wari-Wari!" He snatched the little puppy up and she squealed as he held her high above his head. He groaned and lowered her back down to the floor. "Ugh, you're gettin too big, Pup. Grump's back just can't handle playing like that anymore."

"You're such an awful fuckin' liar." Naruto huffed as his puppy giggled. He came over and crouched beside Himawari with his arms open and she darted in to hug him around the neck. "Be a good girl for Grump. Okay, Himawari?"

"Okay, Daddy." She nuzzled his neck and then kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you, Pickle." Naruto gently pushed her back and cupped her face before he kissed her on the crown of her head. He grinned as she giggled from her 'least' favorite of kisses to get from her daddy. His thumbs traced over her cheeks. "Always, right?"

"Always." She grinned back. He let her go and she turned to rush at her great-grandfather, grabbing his hand to tug him along. "C'mon Grump! We gotta stop at the store and get steaks! I want bloody steak for dinner!"

"Bloody steak, oh for the love of–Naruto, you failure, you've ruined my great-grandchild!" Jiraiya groaned half-heartedly. Naruto chuckled and watched them leave the house with his arms crossed. As Jiraiya's jalopy backed out, Himawari waved at him from her seat and he waved back.

"...Okay. Pup's out of the house, Naruto...Date should be here in...fifteen minutes?" Naruto checked his watch. "Ten minutes. ...Shit."

He had to hurry and clear the table, then change back into somewhat nicer clothes. The shower was going to have to be skipped. He should have some cologne somewhere he could use to cover up any unsavory scents.

AN: In the immortal words of Yzma "It's Dinner Time!" ...Hopefully, there's no poison.

Thanks for reading!