Agent One stared at the images before him. "It makes me sick." They were the Demon Hunting Organization Responsible for Killing Shit, or the D.H.O.R.K.S (that was the problem with coming up with the acronym first before anything), and it was their mission in life to focus on any occult and unnatural problems that would be a problem to mankind, and clean them up in ways that the CIA and the US Military were incapable of confronting, a vital part of any country.
… Said mission, for the most part, had been a complete failure, given how nobody was willing to believe them on anything. Even the nerds at Area 51 mocked them for their lack of proof and relevance. Which led to a lack of funding, reliable recruits, and little to no coffee in the break room. "But that all changes soon..." One said, glazing over their board. "Cause now, we have a lead."
"Hell invading Earth." His partner, Agent Two, nodded. "Sporadic, unorganized, unchained events, but the end result is always clear. Destruction, chaos, and death of human lives." They showed off the pictures they 'legally' acquired from hacking the phones, video cameras, and computers of the ever-trusting American public.
"This is clearly the scouting ring." One speculated his theory. "They resemble Western folklore of imps, very low-ranking demons. And they're randomly appearing across the world. They're testing the waters to see how well humanity is prepared for something on a small scale. How well we can defend ourselves."
"Which is probably why they've been killing random humans with no observable pattern." Two noted. "Not to mention they're responsible for the kidnapping of an innocent child."
"Can't imagine what that poor fucker's been put through." One shook his head as he pointed to a file of one 'Iruma Suzuki.' "Records show that wherever the demons are, he's usually not far behind...they likely tortured the boy for getting so close and finally took him to hell when it was clear he wouldn't get out of the way... Those bastards, do they not have any souls!?"
Two placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry One. We'll find that kid, and we'll save him."
"I know we will...the question is how." He growled. "They're so random and sporadic that there's no logical trail to trace. They could be anywhere from Mexico, to Australia, to our very own backyard."
Crash
"Watch it, Mox. You'll get dead cat on my suit!"
"You're the one that shoved me into the dumpster!"
"Because you needed to move that fat lazy ass of yours!"
"I may not be able to stop Loona from insulting my weight, but I draw the line with you!"
One and Two looked outside, peeking through the blinds, where the three demons and the human were standing about. "... I guess they really were in our backyard." He said with surprise.
"Hmm..." Two nodded. Then she grinned. "... Wanna get the highly experimental and theoretical weapons that are supposed to be able to hit ghosts?" He matched her smile.
"You betcha! The more unstable the bettah!" Truly, the best partner an agent could have.
"I'd question why you guys are being so loud, but I know from personal experience no one on Earth cares." The boy who was clearly kidnapped and forced against his will rolled his eyes as that small and devilish female-looking demon patted the boy on the head with her filthy hands.
"Hey, this planet's lost if they are all too dumb to appreciate the peach you are, tot." The demon female grinned. "Almost dumber than the fat bitch we just offed. That'll show her for being five days late on rent."
"I feel like out of all the client motivations, that one was the most petty I've heard so far." The boy questioned.
"I thought the prettiest one was 'he threw a rock at me in fifth grade.'." The tall imp said. "What about you, Mox?"
Two pulled out one of the guns, aiming. "Personally I believe the one with that cat lady-"
Pew
"Was pretty weak with...her...woozy." And he fell to the ground.
"Where was your danger sense on that kid?!" The tall one shouted.
"I JUST got used to my limp, the scar on my back, and I'm still getting used to the fractured ribs. Excuse me for being a little slow!" The child shouted. "Who even has a dart-"
"Freeze!" One shouted as he and Two pulled out, guns ready. "Put your hands in the air and release the child you've clearly kidnapped!"
"... I feel like this is a moment where I should be happy that someone gives me concern… but I just feel annoyed." The human boy blinked.
"We're gonna return him to his proper family after we take you fuckers down!" Two screamed.
"And any good feelings just immediately disappeared."
"You're not taking my baby away from me!!!" The vile demon woman growled as she took out a cleaver. One fired off an electric net, aiming it at her-
"Look out!" Only for the boy to shove the demon out of the way.
ZAPP
"AHHHHHHH!" The boy was shocked all over and knocked back.
"Two!"
"He got in the way!" She shouted. "He's clearly developed Stockholm syndrome if he's willing to risk his life for them!"
"YOU BASTARDS!" The demon woman shouted as she started foaming at the mouth and jumping at them. "YOU WON'T HURT MY SON AGAIN!" Only for the tall one to grab them by the tail and pull them down.
"Cool it Mills, we need to head out now!" The tall one grabbed the short one. "I have you smooth brained husband, you go grab the kid and start running while I get Loona to open the portal!"
"You ain't runnin' anywhere." He activated the taser bola, launching it to tie up that fuckin freak.
"Not today, tuxedo bitch!" The tall one used the shorter one's body to bat it away, pulling out a phone.
"They're calling for backup, blast it!" Two fired multiple tranq darts at the tall fucker.
"Thank me later for the free medication Mox!" The tall one shouted, using the knocked-out demon as a bullet shield.
"Uughgihdjhs..."
"Really Blitz!?" The female demon shouted as she held the boy overhead as they kept running.
"Bitch all you want about it back home!" The tall one shouted as the phone stopped ringing. "Loona, portal, open and shut, three seconds!"
"Not on my watch!" Two fired another electric net, hitting the female one causing her to drop the boy as a red hole in the air opened up.
"Aaaaaahhh."
"Gaaah, Christ on a stick!" The tall one grabbed the net and pulled it off the female, even as he was shocked. "Mills, get out of here now!"
"Not without-!"
"Loona, grab Millie and close the portal, pronto!" A wolf-like creature grabbed the demon, pulling her back as the tall one got in the way of his shot. "Fuck!"
"Moxxie, Iruma-!" The female imp shouted as the portal closed.
"Two got away." One noted.
"We have enough..." Two looked down. "Get the demons in containment, and prep the kid for med bay. We'll question him later when he comes back to consciousness."
"On it." One looked down with a sigh. "Don't worry kiddo. You're safe now." He would make sure of that.
Millie slammed her hand against the wall. "NO! NO! NO!!!" She screamed, trying her best to stop them, even if it was futile. Her husband...her tot..."Fuck fuck fuck shit!" Millie shouted. "This wasn't supposed to happen again, I wasn't supposed to fail him… I swore this wouldn't happen again!"
"Uh…" The only one with her at the moment was Loona, who tentatively approached her with an unsure look. "Are... are you alright-?"
"No, I'm not alright! They got captured by sunglasses-wearing tuxedo shitting mother fuckers!" Mille shouted back. "Blitz and Moxxie are down, Iruma's knocked out, gaaah!" She smashed a hole in the wall.
"Hey, take it easy! Iruma's gonna be fine!" Loona shouted. "The radio demon will probably bring him back to hell sooner than later."
"Not if they torture the tot wherever they take him!" Millie hurled back. "The deer fucker wants him miserable. We can't take the risk that they won't do something horrible to him while we're down here. We have to go after them!"
"No way." The hellhound had the gall to shake her head. "Blitz didn't use any swears, innuendos, or euphemisms. That means shit was real." Loona said.
"Bitch…" Millie grabbed Loona by the collar and pulled her down to her eye level. "Our boss was captured. My husband is captured. And the sweetest little boy in the universe was electrocuted and knocked out, and kidnapped! I know you don't care about much, but there's at least one of those three people that you do., So you gonna open up that stupid book again, and you're going to open the portal right fucking NOW!"
"… Pack up some gear. It seemed bad, alright?" The hellhound looked like she actually empathized with her as she tossed her a backpack. "Just let me get my human disguise ready."
"Wait, you want to come?" Millie asked.
"Like you said, there's at least one person in that group I care about." She muttered.
"… Right." She let out a small smile, grabbing as many weapons as she could find. "Thank y-"
"Don't mention it… Seriously, never mention it again." They spent a while getting ready before portaling back up. Loona gave the ground a few sniffs. "I got their scents. Follow me."
The two of them began moving forward... "Did you seriously kidnap another human?" What the heck-
"Emily?" Millie questioned as the sight of the Seraphim confused her. "What are you doing here?"
"I was pulling some documents in Heaven to help with Charlie's hotel idea..." Right, the one that got laughed at. "Found a ping Iruma was on Earth. I had to sneak past Sera, Adam, and Lute cause now that I've used up all my good will, they won't let me back on Earth or Hell, and by the time I came down, there was nothing but an empty alley."
"Gotcha..." She slowly nodded.
"… So the new human..." The angel pointed to Loona.
"Hellhound. This is just a disguise." The human fake explained.
"… You could have disguised yourselves this whole time!?" Emily shouted. Many eyes opened and twitched. "How in heaven's name are you this bad at your jobs!?"
"Tell me about it." Loona rolled her eyes.
"Criticize later, we need to save Iruma and the boys from-"
"Save Iruma!!?" Emily looked around. "What did you do with him, where's my baby!?"
"He got taken by some suits." She said. "Shot us all up, Loona has their scents."
"Well, don't just stand there. Let's go find him!" Emily shouted as she floated upwards.
"Ya sure?" Millie raised an eyebrow. "Cause I ain't going to lie... this is going to get messy, and at least a hundred mother fuckers are going to die if/when they get in our way."
"… I'm not going to let anyone hurt my baby." Wow, angel halos must've doubled as a mood ring. Thing almost looked like it was dimmin'. "I'll provide cover… just… make sure we get him out."
"We will, you can count on that,." Millie assured. "Loona, go get 'em."
"Yeah...first problem." The hellhound spoke, pointing in a direction. "Found where they're at." It was a large building, surrounded by people with... old-timey weaponry? Spotlights, barbed wires, all the jazz. "We're not getting in that easily."
"Okay, we sneak in through the back, find where their patrol is at its weakest, then-" Millie started...only for Em to raise a hand as a vortex formed in the air.
"It'll lead inside." She said casually.
"Why can't you just lead us straight to the tot and the others?"
"Because the only way I have eyes on everything on Earth is if I'm in Heaven. And I can't exactly go back and forth between here and there." Emily groaned. "Sera's on my back as it is. If she realizes I'm on Earth, she'll throw a fit and destroy any chance of Iruma or anybody else in hell reaching heaven."
Yeah...reaching heaven...Millie opened her mouth- "Come on." Loona spoke up. "We need to get to the fuckers before they start interrogating."
"Interrogation...if they so much as shine a spotlight on my baby..." Small white flames lit over Emily's body before she looked at Loona, pondering. "So… are you Iruma's girlfriend?" What!?
The hellhound made a choking noise as her face flushed. "What?! No, he's, like, a tween. I'm twenty-two. Just a friend. He's dating a goetia girl."
"Oh, that high up?" Emily asked curiously. "What's she like?"
"... You're not gonna try and protect his chastity?" Millie asked.
Emily looked at Millie, before sighing. "I spent the last fourteen years unable to help him in the slightest… I have no right to criticize any choice that makes him happy."
"Pfft." Loona chuckled. "Look at the angel being more liberal about the kid dating then the freaking demon. Kind of says something about you and your boring ass missionary life."
"It says I'm protecting him from hellbies and HIV!" Millie growled.
"Sssh, quiet the fuck up." Loona pulled them back. "Otherwise you'll set off-"
Wiiiirrrrrr
"... The fucking alarm." The demon groaned.
"Hey, demon scum!" Two suits came out, wielding weapons that weren't guns for some reason.
"Hold on, we come in peace, we just need to talk to whoever's in charge..." Emily started by flying ahead.
"They're learning our tongues! I'll take them down before they learn our attacks!" An agent swung a blade into her neck …
Ching
... Which snapped in half. "… You're not going to listen to what we have to say, are you?" The angel sighed.
"Hey, Thirty-Nine, do we have any chainsaws!?"
"You can't say I didn't try." Emily sulked as Millie jumped ahead and sliced the two mother fuckers up, spilling their blood all over the white walls. "Oh god, I'm going to be sick!" The angel gagged.
"Get used to it fast." Loona grumbled. "We're going to go through a slaughter fest."
Agent Two clicked her heels as she slapped the demon, trying to wake them the fuck up. They finally got their proof...now, they needed answers for it. "Wha-who-what-where-!?"
"Calm the fuck down, Mox." The tall demon cut off the smaller one. "We're just tied up, we still have our dicks attached." He groaned. "Seriously, you should've taken up far more horse tranq in college like I did before I dropped out."
"Yeah, well, when you want to raise a kid one day, you learn to go clean." The short imp rolled his eyes.
"Wait, like stone cold clean? Not even coke?"
"No drugs whatsoever."
"... Dear Satan, that recontextualizes everything I knew about you."
"Hey hey hey hey!" One closed the lights and shined a spotlight on them. "Yo, demons, you're in our home now, meaning you talk only when we tell you to talk."
"Ooh, going for the straightforward approach? Not even a car battery strapped to my nipples?" The tall one shook his head. "So disappointing."
"They already tazed us when they captured us. Why would they try it now?" The short one questioned.
"To get this steamy roleplay going, obviously?" The demon started at One with a mischievous grin.
"Sorry to inform you, sir, but this would probably be the most disappointing bit of roleplay I've seen. No beverages or list of what we're into?"
"Yeah, where the fuck is our coffee? Shitty movies always give people coffee in times like this, and for the record, I want it iced, bitches!"
"We-!"
"And I'll have the Neapolitan Cappuccino More Captain Then Chino Make Sure It's Got No More Than Four Ounces Of Milk The Beans Won't Have The Right Texture Other Wise And Make Sure They Spell My Name Correctly On The Cup They Always Put Foxxy Or Roxxy I Hate That. If You Can't Handle That, I'll Have A Venti Traditional Misto. Please Use Soy Milk With Two Blonde Shots Affogato AND Ristretto! I'd Also Love Three Vanilla Pumps At The Very Bottom. Then, Add The Coffee After Then…"
"Shut it!" Two shouted. "We ain't gettin' ya's coffee!"
"Well then, what do you expect us to do to listen? You're clearly incompetent at torture." The small one deadpanned.
"Dang Mox, major douche chills, respect." The tall one grinned.
"Oh, you want torture, eh? You won't like it when you're on fire!" One took out a flamethrower.
"... Dude." The tall one said with a blank expression. "We live in hell."
"Oh yeah, I bet you like fire..." Two smirked. "But how about holy water!" And splashed a cup into their face.
"... Hey Mox, on a scale of one to ten, how loud should I scream to get these fuckers to think that it's legit?"
"I'd go for a three or four, they seem dumb enough to believe it, sir."
"Right, Ahhh, so terrible, I'm melting…" The tall one whimpered in an insincere tone. "What a cruel world...melting...slipping out of these ropes..." He struggled. "... Okay, they suck at roleplay, but their knot game is on point. The night can still get kinky."
"Hey, we ain't getting kinky with you!"
"Too late, anything with the word 'pain' tends to get this one off." The short one said.
"And you're both stupid, and I love stupid." The tall one grinned, wriggling his brows. "Daddy likes what he's seeing."
"Stop trying to make this about sex!" Two screamed.
"Well, it's definitely not about getting info, seeing as how crudely you've trapped us and kept us alive, meaning you're not even sure of what the hell we even are."
"Okay then, what are you?"
"I'm a Virgo." The short one chortled.
"Ha!" The tall one cackled. "Fun! So how long do we need to fondle your balls until we get our phone call." The tall one smirked. "Cause all interrogation scenes say we have the right to one phone call."
"Oh yeah?" One glared. "Who ya gonna call?"
"Your FAT mom for a fat time!"
"Hey!"
"Ha! Jokes on you for once!" Two cackled, patting her partner on the back. "Cause his fat mom is dead!" Now, he felt the tears coming.
"Two! Have some tact!"
"I know. Where do you think I met her!?" The tall one giggled. "Cause it certainly wasn't at the pearly gates!"
"... YOU SON OF A BITCH!" One tackled the demon, choking it.
"Oh yeah, oh harder Daddy, you know what I like!" The tall one laughed as he licked One's face. "We can make this last all night long."
"Gah, fuck!" He jumped back.
"Just let 'em simmer down, One." She pulled her partner away. "We have other things to focus on, like contacting that victim's parents."
"Pfffft hahahahaahahabaabahabahahaah!" The short one laughed. "Oh, oh, that's the funniest joke you've said so far."
"You sick shit!" One shouted. "How dare you mock the child you kidnapped and tear him away from his loving family!?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The tall one cackled demonically. "Stop it! This is torture! This is the closest thing you've done to torture since we started!"
"You fucks have no heart!"
"And you don't have any brains!" The short one chuckled. "Maybe we both need to follow the yellow brick road to find the wizard."
"As long as you don't look behind the curtain, but it's not like these fuckers can find it!" The tall one laughed even harder.
"You'll see, you'll see!" One shouted. "Once we talk to the boy, he'll tell us all your dirty little secrets and expose you for the vile monsters you are!"
Iruma got out of the handcuffs, pulling himself out of the bed. "No way am I paying for the medical bills." Some things never changed, be they Earth or Hell. Luckily, the holy sword in his arm was more than capable of cutting through the cuffs. "Alright, figure out where I am, and either find the others or wait for Alastor to bring me back to hell."
No windows, enclosed, possibly underground location. Doors were electronically locked. No way to pick them. Vents? Low budget and easy to crawl through. Just need to focus on getting through there, and he was- The door was opening. Act like a weak child., Lower their guard. No one on Earth paid attention to him anyway.
"Alright, kid. I know you might be freaked out, but we're here to..." The woman from earlier's voice came from the door as she and the man with sunglasses came through. "What happened to the cuffs?"
"They just… snapped." He said. "Is your hospital funded?"
"Not really... damn it, I told Homeland we needed less rusted equipment." The man grumbled.
The woman patted his back. "Doesn't matter. They were to just make sure he didn't panic and run off when he woke up." Debatable, that just made you a prisoner. "At least you kept the tubes in. Vitals said that you were malnourished beyond normal, so we've hooked you to an IV."
"Thank you." So that's why he felt less hungry than normal… Meh, it would clog up the vents. Leave it in till they left. "So… is this even a hospital?"
"Not exactly. You're in the med bay of our base." The man slowly nodded as he and the woman stood back to back in a chesty pose. "You see, we're DHORKS."
"… I know you are, but that doesn't answer my question."
"It stands for Demon Hunting Organization Responsible for Killing Shit." The woman explained. "Like the fuckers who kidnapped you in that alleyway."
... Iruma took a minute to process that. "Wait… You're telling me that the government has had a demon-hunting organization the entire time?"
"Yes-"
"Where the heck have you been for the last year of my life!?" Iruma shouted.
"Well… we're underfunded with minimum grade equipment and limited access to resources, but yes." The man nodded. "We've been after the process to take down the fuckers who took you, but their genius plan for scouting and slowly dismantling our society was so sporadic we couldn't figure out what their next move was."
"Their genius plan? Great, they're just as smart as Blitz…" Aka, they had no idea what they were doing.
"In fact, this is the closest thing we've had to information so far." The woman sat down on his bed. "Can you tell us about the environment and what dangers you had to experience?"
"It… I guess the closest Earth analogy would be Los Angeles." Iruma explained. "So the usual gangsters, burning buildings, the only difference is that Hell is somehow cleaner… Cept for the eyeballs everywhere. Those are just random and weird."
"I see… They're planning on invading Los Angeles!" The man shouted.
"That's not what I-"
"Thank you kid, you've done a great service for your country." The woman nodded.
"But I didn't- I'm not even Americ-"
"And don't worry, you're safe now." The man said. "We're getting you back to your parents."
"... You're what now?" Iruma's eyes twitched.
"Must have been rough." The woman looked sad. "Living in that wretched underworld, tortured endlessly by everyone around you, away from the people you love."
"The people I love…" The people he loved were Octavia, IMP, Loona, and Husk., Charlie was pretty much already on that list, and he had lots of friends he liked in hell too… Nobody on Earth loved him. "How about I just... walk out of here and go to them?"
"Not safe." The man shook his head. "That girl demon got away. She could call for reinforcements at any moment."
Millie was safe. That meant Blitz and Moxxie were either dead or captured... He couldn't leave them behind. "Are those... demons you did capture here?"
"Why yes, yes they are, but don't worry, we tied them with rope in the interrogation room." The woman muttered.
"… Yeah, that's… not really going to work on them,." Iruma muttered. "Blitz is kind of excited by pain." Not as much as Nifty, but still said some weird things.
"Hmm… We could always use the experimental truth serum that's sixty percent lethal on humans."
"It's what?"
"Right! And if it kills the demons, then we can just dissect their bodies!"
"You'll what?"
"Thanks for the talk, kid. Now sit tight, and you'll have your parents with you in no time.
"... No problem." Iruma smiled, waiting for them to leave the room. "... Vents, now." Not most to get away from his parents...though that was a large reason for it...he needed to help save Moxxie and Blitz …
Moxxie grumbled as he clearly continued to struggle against the ropes. "Oh, relax, Mox, you saw those assholes. We just got to keep fucking with them until they slip up and we can bust out." Blitz reassured.
"It's not me I'm worried about sir. It's Millie and Iruma on my mind." He answered. "We've never dealt with the human government before. It's an escalation."
"Mox, the only time your woman lost a fight it was with a cowboy with holy weapons. She'll be fuckin fine." He muttered. "And if the brat can survive extermination, a couple of suits aren't going to cut it."
"I know, but these people legitimately think they're doing a good thing, and with Iruma's mental condition...what if the radio demon thinks the best way to torture him is to send him back to his parents."
"Oh, relax, would you!" Blitz snapped. "As long as I keep fucking over that boy whenever I feel like needing a slave, it'll balance out the sappy crap you two have with your fuckin perfect family bullshit, and he'll keep sending the boy our way so he thinks he's ruining his life when in actuality he's havin' a fucking blast while adapting to hell life!"
"... Pardon?"
"Yeah, cause I'm so naturally terrible at relationships of any kind that I know my genuine attempts at being nice to the kid will only screw him over in the long run, meaning I can feel justified in my shitty actions for once in my life!" Blitz screamed.
"... I am going to question that laterr, and probably open a discussion with Millie in private, but that felt like something you would keep to your grave." Mox pointed out. Like VERY personal.
"… Shit, you're right. Why the fuck did I spill my guts like that?" Blitz questioned as he coughed. "And what the fuck is that smell?"
Moxxie glanced down, seeing a green fume. "Shit! They're gassing the room!"
"Oh, come on, truth serum is supposed to be sci-fi bullshit!"
"Actually, it does exist, but it's meant to be more 'susceptible to suggestion' rather than forced truth."
"That sounds more like a mind control hypnosis bullshit plotline." Blitz took a moment to himself and grinned. "How many times a week does Millie peg you?"
"Twice since we took in Iruma." He answered. Then froze. "WHAT THE FUCK!?"
"Had to ask! I would never have had the option before!"
"Well, I think horses are overrated animals!" Moxxie shouted before wincing. "Ah, sorry!"
"How dare you!?" Blitz shouted. "You have shitty taste in music-ah! Sorry sorry!"
"… Shit taste...you said you loved the musical I recommended to you!" Moxxie cried.
"I lied, Moxxie! It was terrible! All it was about was ugly horny cats!!!"
He would have argued more, but the gas was getting thicker, making it harder to breathe as he covered his mouth...wait...weren't his hands tied up? And what was with that organ music?
"Hello..." Moxxie sneezed, the room layout having more… depth to it than before and brighter outlines too. "Blitz?" He coughed. "I-I can't see you! God, this smells awful! What's that music? Is that you!? Is this a prank? Because I swear to Sata-"
"It is no prank, bitch!" Blitz shouted from a higher rocky top with an organ… Although, he sounded and looked more Iike the phantom of the opera.
"Hey! ...Why do you sound like that?" He was never really one for drama.
"Because you, my precious little bitch-boy…" They shouted.
"Stop it, sir!" Stop talking down to him!
"... Are tripping balls!"...Oh no …
"No, what? How could this be? I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT!" Moxxie walked around, fear in his heart. "It's a bad trip. Oy gevalt! Of course, Blitz, this would be your fault!" Always his fault! Anytime a plan was actually going well, he always messed it up and blamed him!
"My lungs are full of honesty. Would you promise me that you won't judge?" Moxxie let out a small sigh. He was never this open about his grievances to Blitz, at least not to this degree.
"Yes, bitch~" The man sang.
"Not trying to divulge too much, butt, I'm in too deep." Too deep to stop now. "So first of all, FUCK YOU!" Moxxie shouted out.
"What?!" They shouted in offense.
Moxxie points at Blitz accusingly. "This is just typical." Always one problem after the other. "Well, two can play at this game of dismay, 'Cuz if you're here causing frustration, I'm torturing you in your hallucination!"
——————————————————————————————————————————
Blitz looked around as the world around him started to melt, the lights going monochrome as the sludge got all over him.
"The fuck kind of bad trip is this?" He questioned, looking at himself...he was in a clown outfit...his old clown outfit. "... Oh, the REAL bad one." This was about to suck, and not in any good way.
Multiple sludgy swirls formed as a paper doodle of Mox formed. "I simply follow your orders! It isn't my fault that your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold, rainy porch of a fresh April shower!"
… What the fuck? "Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?!" Moxxie was an annoying snob, but he wasn't that pretentious.
"I am simply speaking Satan's plain English! Perhaps you should crack open a dictionary sometime! And then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous things I carry on and on about on my many rants about--" The droning went on and on, as a ringing was drilled into Blitz's ear. So much noise, so much noise, nobody would ever let him forget he was a failure in everything and everyone would leave him someday…
"SHUT UP!"
——————————————————————————————————————————
Iruma couldn't believe how dirty these vents were.? Does anyone clean them? It didn't feel like it. "Just unprofessional." The government was being held up by people like Blitz...truly, the world sucked. He continued crawling, even through some weird gas that gave off far too many signals of danger. He had to save them...to get back to...and avoid..."Red." He found it...he found it.
Iruma jumped down into a cloud of smoke, coughing his lungs out as he looked around. Come on...he knew he saw red...where was..."Young Suzuki!"...Alastor? "What a fine time. I need you to do a couple of favors for me. Most of which involve violent trees."
"Not now. This isn't supposed to be happening right now." Iruma grumbled.
"Oh, come now? Why not? You love being my slave, after all."
"Love?!" Iruma shouted, growling at the deer man... as he felt something grow on his ears. "I love working for you as much as Nifty loves bugs."
"Awww? Is that so?" He continued grinning, circling around Iruma like a shark. "Then I guess you would have preferred it if we never met?"
"Yes! My life would be so much better if I had never met you!"
"Very well! Let's get you back to your parents!" He stated.
"... Wha-"
"I mean, after all, that was your life before you met me." The radio demon continued. "On Earth, no chains on your soul. No demons clamoring after you." He pulled out a contract... and ripped it up.
"Iruma-Kun!"...Mom? "We missed you!"
"No… no get away from me!" Iruma shouted, trying to run away.. as a leather collar wrapped around his neck.
"Bad iruma-kun! You won't be getting hugs tonight!"
"I don't need your hugs!" Iruma fought back as his parents pulled him closer to them. "I… I don't need you in my life... you're not my parents, you never were my parents!"
"Oh, what's wrong, dear child..." Alastor questioned, his grin and face becoming distorted as he towered over the boy. "Are you starting to realize how much you need me?"
——————————————————————————————————————————
"Why do you hurt me so?" Moxxie questioned. Some answer. Any answer.
"I know~" Blitz called out.
"Why must you push your friends away?" Moxxie did his best to be friendly, to be kind, to be understanding of the man, and to be tolerant.
"I push my friends away!" But no matter what, there was always a wall of hate and cynicism surrounding him. He always pushed away anyone who cared about him. Even Loona wasn't immune to how crass he was about his feelings.
"Why does it seem like a recurring thing, That you alienate people with your toxic routine?" With every crude joke. With every innuendo, it was like he wanted to start fights. He wanted people to hate him!
"I don't know, eventually everyone goes!" He shouted, as if unaware of his own terrible attitude.
"Cuz you're thoughtless and cruel, and you'll end up alone!" The hallucination glared at him.
——————————————————————————————————————————
"Admit it, my dear boss; you don't know what you are doing half the time... and you depend on me and the missus to manage your foolish flights of fancy!" The bitch copy of Mox accused. "Even the young boy you've so gratefully 'helped' has more sense and rationality than you ever will."
"I don't need you! I can do this shit on my own SO easily!" He just did it because having workers was fun and useful!
Purple sludge lassoed Blitz, sending him flying into a copy of Striker. "But, ya don't wanna do things alone, Blitzo!" He laughed violently.
"Fuck off, you overhyped cowboy! Just because you were hot doesn't mean you're the shit!" Blitz tried to argue back as he struggled. "I could be just like you anytime I want!!"
Gray sludge lifted Blitz into the air, along with the grinning toon face of Fizzarolli. "You tried the solo act. It, it didn't work out so well!" They chuckled, tossing him into the ground.
"Because I'm better at killing people than making them laugh!" Blitz justified. "I'm way better at that than you are at being the thrall of a Sin!"
"Yes, you are." Some blue sludge formed into the brat. "Ruining lives, so much so it helps anyone who wants them broken. Oh bravo."
"Oh fuck off! If it wasn't for me, you'd be with that radio fucker twenty-four-seven!" Blitz pointed out. "I'm a better dad for you than Mox ever will be 'cause I actually show you the shit that is life!" Just like his own dad. "I'm the reason why anything gets done!"
Pink sludge formed into Verosika, who slowly crawled over to him."Yet you still shove away anyone who gets too close until they resent you for being a selfish, shitty, shit fuck!" She grasped onto his face, squeezing it painfully.
"You-you weren't loyal, you would've left me alone eventually!" Most people did, his family, his friend...everyone.
Multiple golden feathers combined into a staircase...leading up to...Stolas. "Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?"
It.. it was so beautiful... He was so beautiful… Blitz couldn't help but climb up to the prince, even when golden chains formed around his arms… was this what love was... being trapped in a place that could keep you secure... happiness at the price of freedom...?
"I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but... also crave it as well." Mox walked up the stairs, forming a dress. He moved up to them and stared at him with disappointed eyes and a fan. "It's rather unfortunate, sir, considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you... such as myself."
"Shut up shut up shut up shut up…" Blitz grumbled.
"Are you worried I may have enough of it one day as well?"
"STOP... FUCKING TALKING, ALL OF YOU!!"
The fan closed as Moxxie and everyone else turned into gold dust... the world swarming around him… chaining him, blinding him… and the voices all repeated the same thing… the truth he couldn't escape…
"You're gonna die alone! You're gonna die alone! You're gonna die alone!"
——————————————————————————————————————————
They were holding onto him. It was terrible. Iruma was alone and tortured every second. "Give us some money, would you, Iruma? We promise headpats."
"No, no, no head pats!" Iruma shouted as he continued to fight against the leash.
"Come on Iruma, we're begging you."
"You don't have anywhere else to go."
"It's just your purpose."
"We're the only ones that'll love you. Why not accept it."
"STOP IT! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"
"My oh my, what a sad little display you have here?" Alastor chuckled. "This is what you wanted? Freedom from me? From all the so-called suffering of hell, correct?"
"Screw off!"
"My oh my, even your language has become more hell-like, swearing like a sailor like your friend, dear ole Husker. Is someone having some longing for the brimstone and fire?"
"I...I..."
"I can give you another deal if you want...but this time, I'll need something from you." The radio demon chuckled. "I want you to admit it."
"Admit..."
"That you love working for me. That I was the best thing to happen to you. That I was the one responsible for giving you friends, family, and love."
"I... I don't... I don't have a fami-"
"Mind your words, dear boy. Do you want to break your poor mother's heart?" Three portals opened up, revealing Millie, Emily, and Charlie. "Or should I say, mothers?"
"I… they..."
"Or maybe you will avoid me and hell forever." Another opened up. "And say goodbye to Carmine, who gave you the best job you ever had?"
"It's... it's just a contract-"
"And your friends." Loona, Husk, Nifty. "They'll never see you again, will they? Stuck down in hell, having fun without you."
"They..." He could feel tears form. "They..."
"Or should I write up your dear John letter to poor Octavia, the lonely soul whose life was only made better because she met you? The girl with a well-meaning but inattentive father and a cow of a mother that could barely admit she exists?" Octavia was shown high in the sky... a shooting star that was growing more and more distant from him.
"Come back...come back..."
"But it's fine, I get it..." Alastor smiled. "Why stick around helll, when you can live your life on Earth?" He pointed to the pulling leash. "After all, you're alright with the bare minimum. You don't need friends that look after you, mother figures that smother you with unconditional love, a girlfriend risking her near-immortalnear immortal life to say sorry to you, no, what idiot would want any of that!? As long as you have a newspaper and headpats, you'll be fine being miserable on Earth. Cause it's easier to stay alive, right?"
"Don't make me say it..."
"I'm not making you. It's a choice, Young Suzuki."
"Everything else is great. You are the one thing I hate about it-!"
"Yet without me, you never would have gone down there."
"I would've had Emily-"
"Who would've either stayed invisible or be reprimanded if it wasn't for my intervention? Face it, even with her holy status, I'm the only reason you have a relationship with her." He chuckled. "So...you going to say it?"
"I…" His life in literal hell was good... It was great even... all the hardship… it was worth it… but Alastor… freaking Alastor... "I admit it... You gave me a better life..."
"Louder, my dear boy."
"You gave me the best life I could've asked for..."
"And..."
"I... I… I LOVE WORKING FOR YOU!" He screamed. "BECAUSE I LOVE HELL!"
——————————————————————————————————————————
One munched on some popcorn. "Hey, are the vents rattling for you?"
"Eh, just the wind."
"But we're inside."
"Strong wind."
——————————————————————————————————————————
"Why, Moxxie, why? Have you held your true feelings inside?"
"I am scared of rejection…" Speaking up got Mom killed...he didn't want that pain ever again …
"Why, Moxxie, why…... Do you have Millie put it in your butt?"
"It gives me an erectio- Hey!" Even when he was helpful, he was still crass.
"No need to hide. We accept your true feelings, so promise me."
Blitz did that… Blitz accepted Moxxie in both success and failure just like Millie did. "That I can do..."
"To be true." True to himself and to others.
"The world is your anus, so peg it with honesty!" Moxxie groaned at the comment. Why was THAT the metaphor he went with? "I've been a jackass, it's true."
"You've been a jackass, it's true." Moxxie would never deny thatt, hallucination be damned.
"But as soon as we're back as ourselves..." When they got out of here...
"I will be a better friend…than I was before…"
"Be better at speaking my mind~" At saying what needed to be said. "And…"
"Together, we can begin to become… Fine."
Loona sniffed the air. Stale food, two fuckers doing the deed, blood..."In that room!" She pointed at the door. "It's them, but it smells funny!"
"Like they're covered in garbage, funny, or their intestines are becoming rope, funny?"
"Why would you put that in my head?" The angel chick gagged.
"Gassed up funny, it's messing with my nose like nothing else." Loona sniffed again. "Two other people there too… probably more agent fuckers."
"So we going for fire, axe, or ripped-off heads?" Millie questioned.
"Let me at least minimize the casualties on this one at least." The angel girl groaned as she melted the door with that holy fire of hers.
Loona blinked. "Wait, I said there was gas-"
BOOM
The three of them were blown back as the door was busted open. "Ow…" The Angel grimaced as she was embedded in the wall. "I feel... like this is karma setting in."
"Guess ya fit in with us demon folk more than you think." Millie cackled. "Blitz would've done the same thing even if he knew the consequences."
"Mills!" Blitz laughed, coming out with minor burn marks, coughing as he threw off some flaming rope. "I knew you'd bust in any- WHY DID YOU BRING LOONIE!?"
"Shut up and get ready to fight." Loona tossed him the bag of weapons as she shifted out of her human disguise. "That explosion is gonna catch a lot of attention."
"Wait!" The angel shouted. "What about Iruma?"
Thud
Thump
Grump
"Ahhhh!" The kid himself was blasted out of the nearby air vent, landing right on top of Moxxie. "Really… really poor maintenance… in those vents."
"Tot\Iruma!" Both Millie and Emily hugged the boy from both sides as they cradled him.
"Iruma!" The fatty shouted. "Did they hurt you!?"
"Nope...snuck out and tried to find you...heard they were gonna use truth gas that was bad for humans...side note, I don't have feelings in my feet or hands."
"Don't worry, I got you." Emily smiled as she kissed his head.
"Emily... what are you doing here..?"
"I'm your guardian angel… and… I... I want to be your mom… and I swore on both titles to protect you… I love you."
The kid smiled widely. "I-I didn't get the chance to tell you this before but... I... I do lov-"
"Freeze!" Multiple agent fuckers came out, wielding outdated weapons. "You're all under arrest! We will be taking you into custodyy, and sending that innocent child to his loving family in Japan!"
"... You fuckers will die…" Both Millie and the angel growled.
"Alright, fam, we've all had a way too emotional night out, and I'm all out of feelings!" Blitz rolled his pistol around on his fingers as he looked at everyone. "Let's fuck these fuckers up!"
An agent threw their chain-sickle thing at them, which Loona caught between her teeth, pulled them forward, and sliced their head off. "That's the least annoying thing you've said all year Blitz!"
Loona rushed forward, slicing and biting off head after head, letting her instincts run rampant as she slaughtered and fed from the fuckers. Occasionally, she glanced around her, seeing Millie use weapon after weapon to beat the government agents in close-quartersclose quarters combat, Fatty firing off gun after gun through their heads and chests, Blitz mixing it up as he shot and sliced whenever he could, and the angel covering Iruma with wings, weapons bouncing off. "We'll get you healed up, don't worry...what happened to your arm?" She asked.
"... It was...Alastor likes hurting me..."
"Tot, was that-"
"Look out!" Iruma shouted as he stretched his arm out to a nearby shuriken with his gauntlet.
"Don't you DARE hurt him!" The angel opened up a portal under the guy, causing him to vanish with a splash. "I can't hurt you directly, but I'll make you pay!"
"Works for me!" Fatty shouted as he and Blitz shared firearms and bombs, almost killing agents in perfect synchronization.
"Strange they're only using weapons from Japan's Edo period." Iruma noted.
"The Edo period was badass!" One agent shouted from the carnage as Loona bit off another skull.
"This is the best night of my life!" Blitz shouted as he ripped a guy in half with his own sword. "Hey, Millie. Need a gun?"
"Nah, I'm better with close range." Millie chuckled as she caught an agent with a choke hold with her legs.
"What about water?"
"Hm… sure!" The woman had waters squirted from Blitz's bottle before breaking the agents next. "Thanks, Blitz!"
"No prob. What about you, Loonie?" He asked as he off-handedly shot a government fucker. "Need anything?"
"I'm in the middle of blasting mother fuckers right now, it can wait!" Loona shouted. Truth be told this was actually the most excitement she's had in months...maybe it wouldn't hurt to take on more field jobs.
"Love you too, sweetie!" He grinned, firing off more rounds as he kissed her. Then again, the public affection might kill her before she killed him.
"BIIIITCHEEEESSSS!!" The fatty cried out, shooting fuckers from a pile of bodies.
"Yo, Mox." Unfortunately, the man caused that last shot to misfire…... onto a guy's dick. "Oof, dick move Mox, but I approve. Here, fishing it off." Blitz stabbed the guy to put him out of his misery.
"Is it always this crazy for you people?" The angel asked as she moved around, opening portals to make the bastards fall through while Iruma used his gauntlet to block more projectiles.
"Yeah… but I'm starting to get used to it..." The boy smiled. "I know it's probably not a good thing I am, though..."
"If it isn't, then I'm not sure I WANT to be a good person." Emily smiled at the boy. "If they can protect you when your own parents can't do the bare minimum."
"Yo angel bitch, cover up the brat! I'm pullin' out my dick!" Blitz shouted.
"… or I can kill them now," Emily stated with a glare.
"He means his missile launcher!" Fatty clarified as Blitz pulled out the oversized weapon.
"Still stands!" She shouted as she covered Iruma in angel wings.
BOOM
The entire room was now covered in dried blood and dead scorched bodies. "Well, mission accomplished!" Millie cheered. "Tot, you doing alright? Hungry, hurt, dizzy?"
"Still numb from the gas..."
"Don't worry, we'll-" Multiple doors slammed down around them, lights turning red, as two agents came out with their guns.
"You fuckers aren't going anywhere!" The woman shouted. "No more murders, no more property damage, no more child trafficking!"
"Wouldn't this be a good time for your portal shit, Angel girl?!" Blitz shouted
"I'm on it-" the girl in white sent her hands out...and-
Pffft
"Pffft?" Moxxie called out. "What does Pffft mean?"
"… Apparently, there's a max to how many portals I can make at a time." Tthe girl looked to her arms... as her wings looked a little on the black side.
"A max?!" Loona shouted. "You're a fucking Angel! Since when do you have a max!?"
"Excuse me for being very recent with combat capabilities! Violence is rarely the answer!"
"Not the time to tell you how wrong you are!" Blitz shouted. "Loonie, tell me you have the book!"
"I can't read in this light!" Fuckin' colorblind.
"Keep that book where we can see it!" The man shouted, holding up his gun. "You fuckers aren't going anywhere!"
"... I can stop them... you guys just run." Emily got in front of them.
"Wait, if you hurt them, won't you get in trouble?" Iruma asked.
"I don't care… if it helps you… I'll take whatever comes my way… because that's what a parent does for her child…" She raised a hand...before the room rumbled.
"Wow, impressive angel powers." Blitz nodded.
"… That's not me..."
"Who…... dares…... touch my impish, little Blitzy." Dark and feathered, looming shadows covered the entire room.
"What the, Two what's going-ahh!" The man shouted as the woman bled from her eyes as the corpses around them began drawing some kind of symbol on the ground with their own blood.
"What's wrong, Demon Hunter? Never seen a REAL demon before!? They cackled madly as the symbol was complete, chittering laughter echoing in the air as blood and darkness leaped from the woman's mouth.
"Wait, that voice..." Moxxie turned to Blitz. "Sir, you think maybe-"
After a few flashes of light, the feathers formed into a massive inky monster of darkness, roaring at the two adult humans, before shrieking slightly. Forming into Blitz's sugar daddy, who simply reached for the light switch, and turned the flashing red off.
"… I reiterate what I said,." Iruma noted, shuddering in fright. "Octavia's dad is scary."
"Stolas. What are you doing-?"
"Octavia and I listen to the boy's radio show frequently. When the boy was knocked out, I decided to keep a closer eye on things. You think I'm not aware when my darling is in danger?" The Goetia prince grinned as he leaned down. "Are you alright?"
"Yes... I'm fine." Blitz grumbled.
"Good… Now what the fuck were you thinking!? Getting captured like this!?" The bird man squeezed Blitz's face. "You're being responsible and using human disguises, right!? We're stretching the limit of how much we're getting away with as it is, and your adorable dumb face can only save you from SO MUCH!"
"Calm you bird puss down. It was an accident." Blitz rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, accidents happen a lot." Emily grumbled. "Sorry, where are my manners, thank you for the intervention."
"Oh, I didn't realize I had company." The man flushed in embarrassment, shaking himself. "Stolas, at your service, madam."
"Very polite." Emily smiled. "Emily. A pleasure to meet you. I'm Iruma's… guard... pa-"
"She's my mom," Iruma spoke out, getting small looks from all of them. "She's the one that's taken care of me most of my life… I can't call her anything less."
"... MY BABY!" She cried, hugging him tightly. "I LOVE YOU! I PROMISE YOU'LL BE SAFE AND SOUND AND PROTECTED ONE DAY! I DON'T DESERVE SOMEONE AS PRECIOUS AS YOU!"
"Love... love you… too…" Iruma winced.
"Ah, what a nice lad you have." Stolas smiled. "He's currently dating my daughter."
"Really?" Emily looked him over. "Well, if she's as well-mannered as you, then I can't give anything less than my full approval."
"I'm sure she'd love to hear that."
"... So." They all turned to the fatty. "Not to interrupt the moment, but this IS a government facility. We should leave while they're down. I want to be back in the right hellhole."
"Yes, very well. We shall be going." Stolas picked up Blitz. "I do believe a reward is in order?" He smirked at her dad.
"... Fine, but make a noise and I bring out the bear traps."
"Oh my..." The two blushed as they began tonguing each other.
"... Do I-"
"I don't think you do." Iruma shook his head. "... Goodbye, Emily." He hugged her. "Thank you for everything… if I never get the chance to say it again… know I… I love you too."
The angel rested up as she wiped her face. "Thank you... you've been such a blessing in my life." Emily hugged him. "And I will see you again. Whether that be the next time you come to Earth or in six months when we break your contracts."
"... Yeah. That sounds nice."
"Wait, tot-" Millie spoke up.
"We should go home now…... I have work at the hotel tomorrow, and I should rest up to deal with Alastor." The boy nodded as he walked through the portal, waving to the angel one last time before it closed.
"Iruma, you didn't tell her what Adam did." Fatty pointed out.
"... She spent fourteen years of her life worrying about me and unable to do anything… I don't want to make that her last thought about me." Iruma sniffed. "I'm not going to drag her down when she's a good person that deserves better."
"Oh, tot..." Millie hugged the boy.
"It's fine, Millie… I still have six months of a good life in hell left before Adam comes." The boy hugged her back with a strangely wide smile. "I still get to live with my family instead of my parents."
"... Tot." She hugged him tighter. "I promise you'll get to be happy."
"I know... and I am… I'm happy with you and everyone else... can I go with Stolas now? He has a healing book, and the numbness from the gas is starting to turn to pain."
"I'll escort you somewhere we can…... breathe…... away from him and Blitz's activities." Fatty held the boy by the hands as they left.
"… Loona, open the portal again,." Millie stated.
"Seriously?" She glared. "You gonna go bitch at the angel and some shit about not noticing the world around her cause you're jealous?"
"No, she and Ime and her have much more important matters to discuss." Millie cracked her knuckles. "We're going to bring those bastards that sold the tot to the radio fucker down here to hell."
"... Where the kid is running FROM said parents?" Loona clarified, but opening the grimoire nonetheless.
"Oh, we're not doing it right away… like I said…we're going to discuss it."
Teien idly looked out of the window as they were driven through the city. "So...you think Alastor let him go?" They never thought they'd see their little money maker again after selling him off. Yet they got called and jetted to America faster than get called and jetted to America faster than what they thought was possible.
"Maybe the demon is feeling generous. Maybe he had so much fun playing with Iruma he wants to share so everyone is happy." Haichi grinned. "You can never have too much money, you know."
"You make a fair point." She nodded. Definitely a good commodity he was. But luckily, thanks to the deal, they had so much money it was never a problem that no one did their jobs for them. That's what the maids are for.
"Excuse me, sir." Haichi asked the driver. "How long until we get there?"
"Should be just around the corner." They turned...coming face to face with a destroyed building. "... Oh fuck." The man mumbled something in Englishenglish.
"So...that's not normal?" She asked.
The car stoppedd, as the man stepped outside. "Both of you stay here, I'm going to investigate."
"You do that." Haichi nodded as he turned to his wife. "So, with the car empty... wanna have some adult fun?"
"There IS quite enough wine in here to make it quick and smooth." She chuckled, wrapping an arm around his head. "Oooh, if there is anything I love about our new style, it's how much fun we have together, darling." She smooched his face, embracing him tightly as she pulled him onto the leather seat. Relaxing, indulgence, never having to work...so much bliss.
"Gaaaaaah!"
Shink
What looked like red paint splattered all over the windows. "Damn it, that really killed the mood." Teien pouted. "Who spills red paint all over a perfectly good limo?"
"Probably some kids who don't like the rich." Her husband nodded. "I mean, just look at the poor structure. It's a bad neighborhood in full."
"True. More parents should just force their kids into labor. The sooner, the better." It worked out for Iruma, after all. "So let's get the mood back on-"
Smash
The door of the limo was smashed open with an axe as it was sent flying off, allowing a tiny red possum lady with black horns to enter the car. "Howdy folks! You two wouldn't happen to be Teien and Hachi Suzuki, wouldare you?"
"... noooooooo..." Haichi slowly nodded.
"They are." Spoke up an angry voice.
"… Looks like Iruma's echo is still broken." She noted.
"Aw. So you two are both dumbasses." The red lady chuckled. "You're funny, it's funny because you two are complete dipshits! Makes me laugh. Hahabaabahahahabah!" The demon cackled. "Now go on… laugh you bastards!" She aimed her axe at them.
"… Hahahahaha." They nervously laughed at the unhinged creature.
"Nice, nice, it's good that you can laugh… it's so fucking nice you can still laugh after all you've done."
"… I'm afraid you lost us,." Haichi spoke. "We just came 'causecause we heard our son was here?"
"Oh. So you do call him your son. I was very unclear about that." The woman stood up. "Cause I was under the impression you had another name for him... like slave, money maker, or human doormat."
"Well, yes." She nodded. "Aren't all children little money makers for their parent-"
Shink
The crazed bitch... threw a knife into her shoulder. "Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
"Teien!" Haichi stood up... only for the demon's hoofed foot to press down on his groin.
"Nah uh huh…... Llet the bitch eat her medicine, and you won't suffer right away." The demon grinned.
"Our driver's still out there, he'll come back and-"
"Oh, you looking for your driver?" The possum lady grinned. "Sorry, he lost his head." She held up… the said man's head. "It must've flown into my arms after I ripped it off!"
Welp, this was horrifying. "We can give you money, just please don't kill-"
Snap snap creak
"Aaaahhhhhhhhhh!" Teien shouted as she felt her legs crack into pieces.
"Feel that bitch!?" The short possum lady grinned savagely. "That is only a taste of the torment you've brought on that child, and I guarantee… what you'll experience will be a hundred times worse."
"Calm down, Millie." A white flame appeared as a hand rested on the small woman's shoulder. "… We can't have them down there while Iruma is currently residing in hell."
"I know... I know..." The red demon groaned. "You two… you make me sick. That tot, Iruma, is the sweetest, kindest, and more selfless kid in this dang universe... and you have him up for a couple of pieces of golden shit!"
… Teien and Haichi stared in confusion. "… Aaand …?" Why was she offended?
Shink
This time, Haichi got a knife thrown in his knee. "Ahhhh! Stop doing that-gaaaaah!"
"I told you they would have no remorse over it." The white flame groaned. "They don't care about people unless it's themselves. They have no empathy for the lives they've ruined." The flame floated to them, almost… glaring at them. "I have waited far too long to stop your torment...but I promise you...the gates of Heaven will close to the likes of you."
"… But we never broke any laws." Seriously, they followed the rules and were rewarded.
"Here's the thing, chuckleheads, ya made a deal with Hell… and Heaven has a zero tolerance policy thing going for itself." The red lady smirked. "Ya screwed yourselves when your money will run out... as will your fucking lives and happiness."
… Oh...that would be a bit of a problem. "What, did you think you could make a deal with a demon and get away scot-free… not a chance." The flame cackled. "And for lazy, slothy, arrogant, and stupid people like you who have never worked a day in their lives… you won't survive the first day being mutilated, burned, eaten, and probably raped as well."
"We can… We can turn our lives around-"
"Trust me… Charlie would never accept you in her hotel if she knew your depths."
"Who's-?"
"Someone that treats your boy... my boy," Millie growled. "With respect. And don't start thinking you'll be able to repent for your sins… We're going to end you before you even have the chance."
"So... you're going to kill us?"
"One day... but only after you've suffered in this life." The white flame grew bigger and more menacing. "And I don't care if I fall… when you die… it'll be by my hands." And with a flash, they were alone.
"… Motel bed to ignore what just happened, then fly back home?" She asked weakly.
"Yea...agh.." Hachi groaned. "First… hospitals... damn it... the bills."
"Oh right, I was so scared I completely forgot about my broken leg," Teien remembered. "... AAAHHHH!"