Odette blinked at the sight. "… Iruma, I asked for ten bullets."
"Right."
"You gave me thirty."
"Right."
"The process to make one bullet should take at least forty five minutes."
"Okay?"
"You made thirty in three hours!" Clara shouted as she went over the notes, inspecting the quality of each one. "And I'm not seeing any signs of half measured quality either… there is meticulous crafting in each one of these! The kind of quality it takes to reach this high a bar would take nearly decades to reach... and it just came to you like that?!"
"Not really. It was just easy." He shrugged. "The holy steel doesn't burn when I touch it, even if getting cut or pierced with it hurts beyond all measure." The boy looked picked one up. "Plus like I've said, I've done metal work in the past, the process of purification isn't too difficult to understand, even if I can't do the math behind it."
"… And you're sure you're not being overworked?" Odette questioned.
"Actually these are the best factory conditions I've ever experienced. Which is surprising since hell could probably abuse the immortality of demons to make it terrible." The boy looked around. "I haven't had to avoid spilling sludges of molten steel or get my shirt stuck in a conveyer belt that's heading towards a grinder even once."
"… Were we that sheltered when we were alive?" Her sister asked with a look of horror.
"Either that or mom was just ahead of her time." Odette mumbled. "You've done well kid, you can go on break."
"Cool, I'm gonna go snack on lunch, then get back to work in five minutes."
"Breaks are half an hour."
"… This place just gets better and better." A walking pile of red flags, that one. They were already fans of the boy due to the radio show and how he humiliated the Vs, but they weren't expecting such a… kind and generally purehearted individual. Whether he was just a fluke or just a result of not being a demon, they couldn't help but flock toward the boy.
"If it wasn't for the fact the radio demon aired everything he hears, I'd ask mom to adopt him… or do it myself." Odette noted. She was a couple decades in spite of her youthful appearance, an upside to dying so young.
"Really?" Clara asked. "Not that it's a bad sentiment, but you want to bring up the tally to four moms and argue your spot against a psycho imp, princess of hell, and a seraphim?"
"What can I say, I'm a bit of a sap." Odette chuckled.
"Clearly what he needs in life is a sister." Clara grinned, before turning to the boy and called him. "You ever think about siblings, Iruma?"
"Closest I got was waiting for my parents to make another kid for them to exploit for money, and Millie's family that constantly talks down her job and her husband." The boy shrugged. "Until recently, family hasn't exactly had a kind definition in my head, parent or sibling. Heck, Barbie's whole thing is that she hates her brother."
"… Sisters slash cousins it is." Clara nodded at the admission, ruffling the boy's head.
"You guys are... a LOT nicer than the usual demons around overlords I know." He admitted.
"That's because a lot of the time, people make deals with Overlords out of desperation." Odette nodded. "Whether it's the first timers who are too afraid of what might happen to them in hell, or the down on the luck suckers that make quick cash grabs without fully understanding the consequences of giving up their soul."
"Not to mention contracts are one of the best things to trust." Clara added. "Sure you lose your soul and get stuck doing whatever your captor wants forever, but they can't ever go back on their word or it breaks."
"Really?" Iruma asked, looking surprised. "Contracts can break?"
"All the time, though it mainly comes when one of the two parties dies." Odette explained. "You know, extermination?"
"Right…" Iruma groaned. "... Octavia really risked a lot by going after me during it… barring Alastor, I wouldn't risk anyone's life just to break my contracts."
"Even Missi Zilla?" Clara asked. "You kinda got beaten into accepting that one."
"Surprisingly she's pretty calm and relaxed. Her squad is kind of noisy, but when they have me read the manga, it's kind of like reading to a bunch of kids."
"... And you just said that to all of hell."
"All of hell hears me read to them too; your point?"
She and Clara looked at each other, before shrugging. "Clara, Odette." The two of them looked up, seeing their mom atop the stairwell. "I take it production is going as scheduled?"
"Thirty holy tipped bullets." Odette showed them off.
Their mom blinked in mild surprise. "…. Suzuki, you're getting a raise."
"A what?"
"Something we'll explain later." Clara chuckled nervously. Seriously, what the fuck was the labor laws on Earth and how were they worse than Hell's?
"Anyways, make sure I'm not disturbed. I'm having a private meeting with Zestial." Ooh, it was that time of the month again.
"Yes mother." She and her sister nodded as the woman walked off.
"Zestial?" Iruma asked. "I feel like I've heard Alastor say that name once or twice."
"Old overlord." Clara said. "And when we say old, we mean thousands of years old."
"Thousands?" Iruma tilted his head. "I know demons can be old, but I thought that just applied to hellborn. He's a sinner demon?"
"Sinners are immortal... some just last longer than others given the exterminations." Odette explained. "Zestial's actually one of the first few overlords to exist in hell, or at the very least one of the first to truly define the term."
"Oh... the first man to own souls …" He shivered. "Sounds terrifying. Sorry Carmine has to deal with him."
"Don't be." Clara smirked. "He's actually the nicest demon we've met. Plus, Zestial and Mom have a... special connection." She noted.
"… Special connection like Alastor and Rosie's, or like Blitz and Stolas'?"
"I think it might be somewhere in between." Not like that was anything either them or the rest of hell didn't speculate already. "Even all powerful overlords can't go thousands of years without making at least one friend in their time in hell."
"... I guess Alastor IS pals with Mimzy and Rosie …" The boy pondered. "It can be so hard to understand who's sincere and who isn't in hell."
"Tough as it is, you just have to risk getting hurt to find happiness." Odette shrugged.
"A little hard to risk when you don't regenerate." He shot back. "Sometimes I can't tell if you guys are lucky or worse off than humans."
"Depends on perspective, which changes day by day." Clara nodded. "Now come on, I know where mom stashes the jumbo sized cookies for rainy days." And like that, the child's eyes lit up with wonder.
Carmilla sighed as she sat down in her office, resting her feet up. "Never gets any easier." Every word handcrafted and every detail planned. All for the goal of saving Hell when it all came crashing down... when the angels retaliated in full. There was no escaping it, even if she wasn't the target of blame for the Angels. The only question was what her role in the upcoming battle would be. Her weapons were vital for it, yes… but whether she would take an active role in such was up in the air.
The door was knocked on gently, three times, loud enough to hear but enough to not seem overbearing. Always a polite one. "Come in Zestial, you need not knock for me."
"Art wishes an angel's blade before manners fall." Her old friend chuckled as he slunk into the room. "Some time has passed Carmilla, how art thou this lovely evening?"
Carmilla glanced at said 'lovely evening', with the acid rain gently pouring down on the streets, slowly disintegrating people. She never knew if that was coincidence or something of Zestial's doing whenever he was around. "Stressful." She answered as honestly as she could. "I've had to fashion new contracts within a short amount of time to make up for the loss of labor force, not to mention staying ahead of the competition that believe they can fashion their own brand weaponry." Hence why she always make sure to stay one step ahead of those arrogant demons enough to try, like the Vs.
"Ah yes, doth fools with simple delusions of pulling a fair blade and driving it forward... such folly is their screams." He pulled out a tea set. "A cup, dear?"
"Yes, that would be very appreciated." She let out a louder moan than she would've liked.
"I worry, dear one. Did thou find loss within the night of holy screams and shifted expectations?" The demon was always observant, collecting and gathering any and all bits of information he could.
"That's one way to put it." Carmilla nodded as she took a cup. There were very few people she respected, before and after coming to hell. Humans and people, they often disappointed you, which was why she went to extreme measures to protect her own children... but Zestial was different. One of the few people in any existence she could legitimately feel comfortable around. "The extermination was... particularly harsh this year. My daughters almost found themselves on the end of one of their blades."
"I see, thus thou through thyself into midst of the Radio Demon calamity be reason for the anomaly that is a human child in hell in your line of work?" Always found the heart of the problem, didn't he?
"A strange child, yes." She nodded. "As thanks I let him join my work... very effective at factory labor." But not so much at attacking with a blade... they lacked a violent edge, which suited her just fine. No threats around her daughters.
"Such joy and sorrow originating from a mortal soul, bound to the most cheshire of demons …" He chuckled. "Thy air is shifting and swaying with a positive change, refusing to lower itself to the mediocre drones of the arrogant trio."
"The Vs were never going to stay relevant with the path they chose." While one could respect just how big the empire they've built in such little time given their close partnership with each other, that didn't mean they were particularly pleasant people to be around. Velvette was an overgrown brat with a superiority complex, Vox was a loudmouth poser with no integrity, and Valentino... He was the type of man that Carmillia would castrate in a single breath if he came so much as ten miles within her own daughters. "What of you Zestial? Any new books donated to the archives?"
"Nothing of fair note, small words in a modern world." He lamented. "While art holds interest in reading the contents of a certain grimoire, the decision has stuck on a patient listen."
"I see, though would it be wise to meddle with the affairs of the goetia's politics?" Carmillia asked, even as someone who had mild interest in something that had access to the mortal world. "The Imps have proven their structure and oversight is lacking, but to meddle with the order of how life perceives death?"
"Passing Curiosity has struck me in light of affairs pertaining to the human government aware of the existence of the afterlife."
"Right... be said awareness... limited." They seriously thought the IMPS were geniuses?
"And to add to such folly of curiosity, the radio demon obtaining a moral soul before agreeing to a bargain with the imps. Strikes one as strange, does thy agree?"
"It does…. The way he's going about with Suzuki is uncanny even for him." Carmine agreed. "His main concern before seven years ago was toppling and killing other Overlords."
"And yet, thou and I survived the carnage."
"Because I refused to back down." It didn't matter if you treated murder like a fun sport, you thought twice about killing a venomous cobra in close quarters. "And you fed his ego."
"Guilty am I. Enigma such as them excites me in this realm, boredom leads to madness if thy am not careful."
Carmilla nodded as she looked out the window. Zestial was the most trustworthy demon-no, person she knew. If anyone could be trusted with a secret. "Hell is going to war soon, and the other Overlords will want to know how to proceed…before that happens, I need your word that nothing leaves this room."
"For you, my dear." He placed a hand on her shoulder, his eyes gazing into hers softly. "Not a word leaves my web, ensnared and trapped. Devoured in... FULL."
Carmilla internally smiled. His little bouts of drama were always endearing. "The child did not kill the angel… I did."
His head tilted. "And yet no boast of power?"
"If Hell knew ordinary sinners could kill angels, they'd be lining up for violence for the fun of it. They would wage a war with the intention of winning, not defending." Carmilla explained. "Sure, there could be those that manage to kill one, or two, or maybe ten… but that will only lead to more and more escalation. I refuse to put my daughters in that kind of world."
Zestial's eyes narrowed. "Thou wishes to corral the war. Away enough from your family, close enough to your method, centered enough to keep the cities afloat, enough force to push them back, but enough heart to not pursue... a dangerous line you walk." He reached for her legs, his hands burning from the holy steel, but he showed no reaction. "Art offers any support thy requires for this match of wits."
"Thank you, Zestial." She let out a sigh of relief. He was always the most level headed demon she knew.
"Curious am I. The child swept within this whirlpool of a conundrum. How did it come about?"
"He... pushed my daughter out of the way, and took the blame." She told him. "I doubt he even understood the true ramifications of what he was doing at the time …" Those eyes... so nervous, strong, broken... "Only Alastor knows the truth, and god knows what he intends to do with said knowledge."
"Hmm …" He stood, a small grin on his face. "Perhaps it is time I pay my old colleague a visit. His goals ARE my area of interest."
"Do what you must, old friend." She didn't understand the man's fascination, but she didn't really need to. Carmilla knew Zestial was more than capable of handling things himself.
Iruma walked through the street, gazing at the parting clouds. "Acid rain stopped, no assassins, clothes that are resistant to dangerous things, and a debit card with more money than I ever had in my entire life…" Drug induced hallucination or not, Iruma was getting WAY too used to hell. "Is... Is this what being fulfilled feels like... was I ever even happy before I came to hell... and when did I start talking to myself?"
Maybe Alastor was driving him genuinely insane (given what happened during extermination day that may not be too out there). Maybe Iruma was placing hope in a princess that was almost TOO optimistic given all the signs telling any sane person to quit. And maybe his morality had been compromised to the point that he hadn't stopped people from dying during the DHORKS (who the heck thought that was a good name?) thing... But Iruma… strangely didn't feel the heaviness that he was used to feeling on the inside… the feeling of always being… burdened by something.
Sure Alastor was terrible beyond comprehension, but... he was getting used to that, just like he was in his old life. Except in his old life, he really DIDN'T have anything to look forward to. He didn't have a warm bed, people that hugged, fed, and kissed him, or people to talk to... he didn't really have a reason to live other than give his parents money. Just survive …
Well, Iruma was surviving, and he was... content? He didn't think life could ever get better, he didn't think people would care. He didn't think he'd ever find a DATE... but... here he was, with people who cared... "Maybe I should get everyone a gift." A way to just thank them for everything they did for him. Only issue is that he'd need to do it in a way nobody would figure it out to ruin the surprise…
"Oh fuck!" A demon cried out, looking around, before placing his head inside of a blender.
"Oh… are you okay sir...?" Iruma asked.
"Run for your life!" A goat woman shouted as she took a sword and stabbed herself in the heart.
"Ma'am, maybe think about..."
"I'm not doing this shit again! Cannibals, come and get me!" The man covered himself in gravy as several black eyed demons devoured the man whole.
"Um …" He turned to one guy, who was covering himself in gasoline, before turning to Iruma.
"Hey, you got a match?" … Iruma hesitantly handed the guy a small sick set up he used to start campfires. "... Eh, it'll have to do. Time is of the essence." And he began trying to set himself on fire.
"I know demons have issues, but they come back if the angel tool isn't the cause of death. What's the point?" Was it one of those hell cultural things he wasn't aware of? Or were people just in need of more therapy than Iruma realized? That seemed like something he should bring up to Charlie if she wanted to bring more people to the hotel. Did hell even have therap-
A shadow covered the human, cutting off his thoughts. "Tidings, child." Iruma looked up to see a tall man with a black cloak, darkened skull beaming with a green toothed grin, a sort of webbing around his neck with a leathery looking cloak that looked like bat wings, and four eyes gazing right into his soul, almost brimming with sheer threat that was only present when Alastor was mad. "How doth thou fare this evening?"
"... Hi …" He weakly greeted.
"Thy not a demon brimming carnality expressed through erosional expressions of violent nature. Zestial is the name. Information is the source of my desire."
"... This is going to sound rude …" And probably get him killed. "But I barely understand what you're saying."
"Thous Naivety exceeds that of the airwaves of the radio demon's broadcasts. Far more entertaining in person."
He mentioned radio, so he was probably a fan of the show. "Oh… thanks I guess." After Satina, he wasn't sure how to respond to people who liked the show. Although Octavia liked it, and the Carmine's said Zestial was an okay guy... "So... was there something in particular you wanted to talk about?"
"Thou has created waves of change upon thou premature arrival in the land of the damned. Thy curiosity is peaked with thou chipper and content nature forming through such strife."
"...Are you saying you're trying to figure out how I'm able to be happy in hell?"
"Quite so." The man grinned with a nod.
"Oh... well I guess, it's better than my life on Earth." He noted. "Jobs are easier, people are friendlier. Sure there are jerks, but given Adam in heaven I'm just going to take that as a universal fact anywhere."
"Heheeha..." The man's laughter sent shivers down Iruma's spine yet he didn't feel the urge to run away... he wasn't sure if that was due to the demon being relatively friendly so far or just his brain being too scared to make his body move. "Normally one such as thou does not say such confirmed feelings until after great amounts of inner turmoil or sacrifice. Many demon can attest to such."
"I mean... I've never had much of a reason to keep my feelings bottled up." He responded. "Unless you're in the middle of danger, or plan on running away the second you can. And, well, I'm not sure about sacrifice, since I've never really had anything to give up before, but I do know turmoil. When everyday of your life could mean life or death… living in a place where that doesn't mean anything 364 days of the year pretty much makes every day the best by comparison."
Zestial seemed to smirk at that. "Quite. The barriers of life and death wane and woe, such is the nature of this unnatural land that we all live quite entangled in our goals. Some doth revel with the darkness, some cower... others devour the darkness."
Devour... hmm... he wasn't quite sure about that one... "I mean... why try to push for more when you're already the best it's ever been? Isn't that risky?"
"Surely such as thou knows risk when thou sees it." The dark shaded demon chuckled. "Thou companions surround their lives with risk. Whether thou be the lowly hellborn breaking the barriers of life and death or thy princess that seeks thou subjects safe passage to heaven's gates."
That was a good point… Blitz and the rest of IMP risked their lives when they didn't have regeneration to fall back on, and Charlie was striving to do something even he thought wasn't really possible. "Yeah... I guess they all really do go out of their way …"
"Risk breathes many things, births paths closed off previously. With risk comes determination, with determination comes chance, and with chance comes satisfaction, not meager satisfaction of a job well down, but of a life well lived."
"A life well lived…" He never really thought about planning ahead like that, for him it was always one day at a time.. Because well, he HAD to…. But… he really didn't have to now, some exceptions notwithstanding. "What gives you a life you're happy to live with forever?"
"A bond with a dear friend, the eternal mysteries of the world around us, and gathering scrolls for future generations." He pulled out a book. "Would you like to read?"
"Sure." He took the book, opening it up... only to find a literal face.
"PLEASE! I'VE BEEN IN HERE SINCE THE CIVIL WAR! SAVE ME!"
"So many tidbits of Abe Lincoln, quite an interesting tale I'd say."
"...Well I suppose I don't know much about American history, so it probably would help me if IMP ever goes to another school." He slowly closed it.
"DON'T IGNORE ME! I'LL FIND WHERE YOU LIVE AND GUT YOUR ENTRAILS UP!"
"He'd probably get along with Nifty." Iruma pondered. "Speaking of, I should really get back to the hotel. By this point Husk and Angel Dust are probably in the middle of fighting over a bottle and Alastor likes for me to get in the middle of it."
"Aaah yes, I'd love a conversation once more with the greatest of hell's mysteries." … Why were all these nice people friends with Alastor…. Barring Mimzy, he'd trusted Husk's word that she was nothing but trouble.
Husk cleaned another glass as he turned to the snake. "So, this is the real you?" He questioned. The bartender figured the nutjob was faking, he just didn't expect him to switch lanes just as easily once found out. "Or did you just slither into another skin to slime your way through."
"I admit, though I am hessssitant at accccceepting the idea of redepttttttion and companionssssship, the princceessssssss made a very enticccccing argument…" The wannabe Overlord nodded as he cautiously accepted a glass. "... and if I leffft the hotel the Vsssss would likely rip me apart sssssscale by ssssscale, ssssssooo might asss well givvvvvee it a genuine sssssshot."
"That makes more sense." Desperate loser with nowhere else to turn to. Least the wimp was honest about it.
"I'll take it!" Charlie shouted with a grin. "For now, we have TWO patrons! And the entirety of hell knows!"
"The entirety of hell also knows you don't know HOW you're going to get sinners into heaven too." The faker Angel Dust called out. "Not too mention your daddy issues-"
"I do NOT have issues with my dad." The princess responded with a forced smile.
"Hmm... so what the fuck IS the plan anyway?" Husk asked. "Cause if heaven ain't lettin' people in, there's no point to this whole shindig, is there?"
"Simple really. Show heaven a completely reformed sinner, who seeks love and friendship, with such passion for good that not even Adam himself can deny it's possible." Charlie explained.
"Ah yes, Adam, the first man to get into heaven, the man that doesn't wash his hands, is blatantly rude to women, and beats up children that get on his nerves, he'll be PERFECTLY understanding of your plight the second time around."
"...Alastor, you fucking torture a kid for getting on your nerves." Vaggie glared.
"I never said I didn't deserve to be down here." The smiling creep chuckled. "I did my crimes, and I will pay the price for the rest of my afterlife."
"I'm happy with anything as long as all the bad boys come my way." Nifty cackled.
"... How come sssshhhe getsssss a knife and I can't keep a gun?" Pentious questioned.
"We tried taking it away from her…. It always ends up back in her hands." Angel Dust shivered.
"I don't know how she does it either, and I eagerly await the day the chilling mystery gets solved!" Alastor cackled. "Speaking of which, Young Suzuki should be back any minute now, and he's bringing along a certain guest."
"Another patron!?" Charlie grinned widely.
"Sadly no, I don't think he'd take it even if it was possible." Of course not, cause why the fuck would he?
"Hey guys." The kid walked back in through the front, along with …
"Ah, Zestial." Husk casually greeted. "Wine?"
"THE FUCK!?" Vaggie screamed.
"ABANDON SSSSSSSSSSSHHHIIPPP!" The snake jumped for cover.
"Nifty likey…" Nifty was Nifty as always.
"Red if thou has it." The old Overlord bowed. "Thy see thou's fall from grace hasn't broken thou's spirit as of yet."
"Still kickin' and screaming." He shrugged as he poured a glass.
"Zestial, how lovely to see you." Alastor smiled. "So rare for you to visit me instead of the other way around. Is this what they call role reversal, where I have the intrigue and YOU attempt to kill me? That would certainly living things up around here."
"... Who's daddy spider?" The porn star questioned.
"Zestial." The kid said as he took a seat. "Friend of Carmine and Alastor, as weird as that is."
"An underssssstatment isssss what it isssss!" The snake screamed, hiding behind the bar shaking, his eyes including his hat's were frantic. "Lord Zesssstial isssss one of the mossssst rutttthlesssss overlordsssss in hell, and older ttttthan Msssss. Charlotte!"
"Hey, I'm only two hundred."
"Aaah, Ms. Morningstar, honored is I to be in thou's company." The overlord bowed.
"Oh... nice to meet you too." The woman blinked for a moment, before offering a hand with a smile.
"It seems thou's procreators' grace has not fallen far from their tree." Zestial bowed. "Thou mother's songs still ring within thy web from time to time."
"Thank you, I'm sure she'd be complimented if she could hear that." Charlie said brightly. "You wouldn't happen to be interested-"
"Charlie, don't think about it!" Vaggie shouted. "We can barely handle the one shitlord we're stuck with!"
"Worry not madame, art would dare taint another's young dreams." The man chuckled. "Art simply strolled for a visit with an old enigma."
"I am honored to still be confusing to one as wise as yourself." And Al ate it up.
"I gotta say he doesn't sound like that creep of a geezer." Angel shrugged. "What sick little thing got him down here?"
Husker stared at Angel Dust with a dead, and tired expression. "He invented the Black Death."
"A fun time, but fruitless when the afterlife opened itself... new interests needed to occupy my mind."
"He owns a library of screaming books that are very informative when they aren't trying to argue with you." Iruma nodded as he opened one in his hands.
"JFK was killed by the US government trying to frame the Soviets... please let me leave."
"Ah, such sweet tidings and tales, doesn't it just warm the soul to be educated?"
"Well, that explains how Alastor knows this creep." Vaggie muttered.
"Oh me and this old fossil go waaay back! In my heyday, I was on my way to kill him, and imagine my surprise where he didn't meet his impending demise with annoyance but with intrigue instead! Made things more climatic."
"So you let him go cause he paid attention to ya like the attention whore you are." Angel Dust said bluntly.
"The sodomite makes the most accurate and ironic of statements which allude to projecting." He chuckled. "And yet again, thou gives me more questions to eternally ponder. Such as how thou acquired the young one you're so fond of."
"Why that's no secret at all. I got summoned up to the human world, and his parents sold me his soul." The deer fucker grinned.
"So that you've told many souls, but for a sinner to be cast into the mortal realm, thy believe you there's more to the web of a tale than you let on." Now the entire group was looking at the conversation.
"Don't know what to tell you. There wasn't much in that room other than some jewels, a pepper pentagram, a carcass with some delicious venison, a book in hand, a tv I had a large desire to destroy, and an empty chest."
"Hold on, hold on, hold on." Charlie raised an eyebrow. "They summoned you with a book? Like the grimoire the Imps' use?"
"If it was one of those, then apparently ALL goetia suck at keeping their property intact." Alastor cackled. "Unless Young Suzuki here has anything to say about it, then that's the end of the story."
"Hmmm… only time I remember giving them a book was when they sent me to Persia, wandered the desert for three days, hallucinated a garden and a flaming sword, then this man gave me a chest along with a book that was wrapped with the words Proprietas Cane all over it." The kid said. "Guess I should thank Emily for not letting me die of dehydration with that cargo van that came near with a tanker of water." Everyone stared at the kid for a solid minute. "Something on my face?"
"… A grand investment indeed Alastor." The giant spider bat hybrid cackled. "Thy enigma only continues to grow, thou's origin tis to explain everything, is it not?"
"Maybe, maybe not, but please, continue to theorize! Each new guess keeps me as entertained as Suzuki dealing with the minor weasel problem we're currently dealing with."
Charlie lifted her eyebrow. "We don't have a weasel-"
"GRRRRRRRR!"
"It followed my scent!" Iruma screamed as it jumped out of the vents.
"Don't worry, I havvvvve a ray gun!"
"I told you to get rid of that Pentious!"
"GRRRRRR"
"It's trying to bite my face off!"
"A lovely rooming you bring about, Ms. Morningstar." Zestial bowed. "Art is surprised more do not come to witness such folly as this themselves." He had to admit, Alastor had the right idea staying here for the entertainment value alone.
"Well...the point is to NOT come here and watch sinners fail…" The princess chuckled nervously.
"But it is humorous to witness nonetheless." He smiled. "I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor for that alone."
"That's the best praise anyone's given us yet." The human smiled, panting with exhaustion as scratches covered his entire face. He winced. "How does that guy find me everywhere?"
"He's your mortal enemy!" The curious, and by far more frightening, enigma that was Nifty giggled as she patted the boy's cuts with clothes. "Just like how I'm the mortal enemy of all roaches! When you have a mortal enemy, their entire purpose is to hunt you down and destroy you by any means necessary!"
"… How lovely." The human groaned.
"Sssssometimessss, a mortal enemy can be fun, and even light a fire in one'ssssss ssssoul." The snake known as Pentious nodded. "And even when they inssssssult you, berate you, or throw a million explossssivvve contrapttttionssss at you, you can't help but ponder…. What isssss you're lifffee if they're not around to fight you to the bittttter end?"
"… Do you wanna kill them or fuck them?" The sodomite Angel Dust asked bluntly.
"Well, iffff the chanccee to fornicate arrived….." The snake blushed as all eyes were on him. "I'd obviously deny such a chanccccceee and blow them into sssssssssmithereenssssssss!"
"How about we don't talk about fighting people we have strong disagreements with!" The princess chuckled a bit brokenly as she pushed the snake back. "In fact, why don't we make the next lesson 'how to turn enemies into friends!'?"
"What a lovely idea Charlotte." Alastor smiled. "How about I be today's subject and you turn me into a friend? Sounds fun?"
"Oh don't you tempt me! I'm going to befriend you so hard you'll be bleeding rainbows!" Quite the fun little moss indeed.
"I am going to regret so much after today." Vagatha grumbled.
Zestial watched them all head inside... barring the human. "Does thou not wish to join his comrades?" He questioned.
"… Hey Zestial... a question." The boy looked up. "You've been in hell a long time, so you're pretty smart, right?"
"Thy pride thyself in the collection of knowledge of all kinds. Intelligence can be selective to most, but wisdom is always universal."
"Aren't those the same thing?" They asked with confusion.
"Intelligence is the act of knowing, wisdom is acting upon what you know." Zestial nodded. "Examples of such includes thou. You are faintly aware of hell's structure and occasional common knowledge, but in practice, you succeed in your actions. Application of common tools against Vox, simple engineering against Pentious, attacking the pride of horns and tails against imps, those display thou's wisdom."
"Ah …" The child flushed. "Thank you."
"Thy pleasure, Iruma Suzuki. Thou has been the most engaging puzzle since the radio demon's arrival." He nodded. "Now, you wish to inquire something of mine?"
"Yeah... I know not everyone's the same …" The child started. "But how come some overlords are like you and Carmine, who talk casually and help, even when they don't need to... and others like Alastor who hurt people because it's fun?" He asked. "I just... don't see much common ground among everyone."
"Ah, thou are curious how companionship forms from unlikely sources?" The boy nodded. "Thou are aware of how a snowflake works? The design and intricacies of such a small piece of solidified water?"
"Right... no two being alike, no matter how you have them made."
"Precisely. No two are alike, and alone they are harmless." Zestial continued. "But in large mass, they can create the most beautiful of landscapes, or the harshest of conditions."
"… So... pack mentality?" He asked. "A team is better than working alone?"
"If that's what you so chose. For there is no objective answer." Zestial explained. "You will find those among this realm such as Alastor or the Imp known as Striker who thrive upon their solidarity, and those that grow better due to comradery, such as the Carmine family or the Vs."
"Really? Even the Vs?" Iruma questioned. "But aren't they…. Objectively awful?"
"Aren't thou's old family lovely wedded?" He shot back.
"... Fair point." The boy sighed. "So… it just depends on who I let in?"
Zestial nodded. "Life is an enigma, afterlife there is little difference. Above all else, there is opportunity to be found for all creatures above or below. Even the lowliest of the damned can find that here." Zestial sent him a soft smile. "Take care, young Suzuki." And with that, he left.
A secret from a love, a tale from a demon, and a curious mind of a child... life truly held wonders within every passing day.