Disclaimer, as per protocol: I do not own Evangelion. Hell, if I did, I'd publish a comic on Shinji healing from post Third Impact trauma.
Ah well, chapter 2! Some daily life at NERV, a *slight* change in the timeline or plot, and there, we have something diverging from the original TV series to make this not look like an exact rewrite of it.
I know I should probably add a -kun to how Misato addresses Shinji (Shinji-kun), but I was lazy. So I decided to make that a feature, not a bug. Now you have a way to see how the relationships between characters are! Yay.
Thoughts in 1st person POV.
'unspoken words' "spoken words, loud and clear..ish?"
Soft, quiet beeps echoed in a blank, lifeless hospital room.
Not quite lifeless, Shinji noted, as where tidy sheets should be, a redhead now occupied the space, connected to various measuring equipments all around the bed. The line representing the heartbeat steadily rose and fell, the machine itself beeping in rhythm, giving Shinji some degree of reassurance that the motionless redhead, having recently gone through a traumatic experience courtesy of Arael, is indeed alive and well.
But seeing her sleeping, not moving, seems... wrong. She should be up and about, berating me for my idiocy and flaunting how she is the best pilot, instead of lying in a white hospital bed in a coma. Asuka had fallen into unconsciousness by the time they recovered her from the entry plug, and had been stuck in a coma since then. According to Doctor Akagi, what is keeping her asleep is purely mental instead of physical, or it could be angelic contamination. The possibility of angelic contamination that has become so pronounced because Misato hadn't been able to get her to retreat, because Rei had retrieved the lance a moment too late, because his Father had ordered for Unit-01 to be put on freeze.
Because he had not been able to get out there to help her.
"Shinji, what happened to Asuka isn't your fault, no matter what you may think," the purple-haired major spoke silently to his side, her mind visibly in turmoil as well.
Misato had been tirelessly running around handling paperwork and arranging disaster relief, the bags under her eyes and her tired stature a clear indication of her current state of mind. "I know that after what happened with the 13th-" She hesitated as she saw Shinji wince at the mention of his friend's close-to-death experience at 'his' hands- "you've felt guilty about Toji's injuries. But this time, there is truly nothing you could have done. You couldn't have sortied, and even if you could have, you wouldn't have been able to help Asuka. The angel invaded her mentally, Shinji." Petty words I am telling him right now. It won't help him much in dealing with the pain, I know it. Why am I still saying this, then?
Shinji turned to look at Misato, his gaze darkening some, "Misato-san," The use of a honorfic told her plenty about his mood, if his behaviour the past few days wasn't any indication, "I could have at least pushed her out of the way and buy time before Rei retrieves the lance! That way Asuka won't be... here, like this." His head dropped. "It's my fault." All of it is. Not only with the 15th angel. I'm such a failure.
This is so unfair to both of them, why do they have to go through this? After Asuka's sync ratio dropping and Shinji's incident with the 13th and 14th, too. However, no words of consolation came to Misato -- consolation has never been one of her strong suits. "Please, Shinji, just remember, if there's anything you're worried about you can talk to me about it. I'm here for you... both of you." Misato left without another word, intending to let her depressed - neglected? - ward work things out in his own head in solitude.
The door hissed shut a moment later, without consideration for the conflicted feelings of the three occupants of the breaking, defective family, leaving Shinji to stew in his own thoughts, Asuka's light breathing and the soft beeps from the life-sustaining machines.
"*sigh*... This sucks, Ritsuko," the purple-headed major complained to the dyed-blonde doctor as they oversaw the sync tests for Shinji and Rei. The empty test plug... or rather, the missing pilot who always boasted about her best abilities out of the three, left an empty hole in Misato's heart. Soft mechanical whirring sounds came from all around them, occasional beeps indicating the pilots' breathing. The look on the two children's faces are masks of concentration, neither indulging in conversation with each other, creating a sense of dead air in the not-too-cavernous monitoring room.
The doctor who was addressed simply replied without looking at the major, "Misato, you know we can't do much for them now other than to make sure all Evas are operational for when the next angel attacks." Gendo most probably wouldn't allow his son to have even a bit of peace. "We can't get too close to the pilots, and look where you ended up at because of doing so."
"Ritsuko, I would really appreciate a day without getting bashed by your sarcasm." The major bit back, but remained professional still, "How are the pilots doing?"
"Shinji-kun's sync rate shows no significant change... with Asuka-chan hurt, I would have assumed a drop. Surprisingly, Ayanami-san's the one whose sync rate dropped," Maya, the technician primarily responsible for tasks during synchronisation tests tapped on her console and brought up a few charts, "Her sync rate dropped by almost nine points compared to last week. This is quite worrying, as her sync rate is usually stable and without major fluctuations." But then again, with the recent discouraging events, maybe even Ayanami-san would be affected by the depressive mood on base.
Ayanami has always been stable due to the drugs I administered... could this be a sign of her blooming individuality? And right before the final End, too. I'll need to investigate further. "Tell Ayanami to stop by my lab after showering, after the test ends. I'll be in my lab going through the datas of the 15th's mental attack," Ritsuko turned to look at Misato on her way out, a hint of anger hidden in her gaze, "and please mind your professional attitude as the Operations Director, Major Katsuragi." Ritsuko is stressed beyond reasoning now, and just needed someone to take it out on.
Oh, that little...! "Ritsuko, what are you-" The Major turned around to glare at Ritsuko, but instead saw her leaving nonchalantly without stopping at her yell, the doors shutting behind her.I still haven't forgiven you completely for what you suggested during the 12th angel, Ritsuko... what has happened to you? You weren't as cold and uncaring of others as you are now, during university or before the 3rd angel. You've changed, Ritsuko.
Meanwhile, Shinji and Rei were sitting in their respective test plugs, their faces showing utmost concentration on the task at hand - which is, really, just sitting in a tube of goo for a few hours on end- and couldn't know of the unfriendly conversation in the monitoring room a few meters or so above them as the mic was muted.
Even if their faces are near identical, their thoughts are entirely different, despite being of the same topic: Asuka's absence and her state of unconsciousness. It seems so wrong for the test to go by so quietly. Shinji caught himself thinking, slowly breathing out in the LCL, air bubbles floating up in front of his face. Usually, Asuka would be bantering about how the test is so boring that she wants to get right out of here, or how her sync rate is still in first place... not since mine rose higher than hers a month or two ago. A pang of guilt hit him. Even then, the only thing she did afterwards was belittling me and saying I'm good for nothing... huh, funny that Asuka is absolutely right about this.
He glanced up from his self-induced unmoving state to look at the comm window to his right, showing Ayanami's calm and static face. Almost emotionless, but she isn't like that. Not after the smile she gave me after the 5th angel's defeat. The memory of the scorching heat from the geometric angel's beam, hitting Eva Unit-01 -- or, by extension, him -- in the chest directly, boiling the LCL in his entry plug as his skin felt like it was lit on fire and he couldn't scream even if he wanted to as his voice was already raw from the screaming and the extreme pain that lasted for more than ten seconds which felt more like an eternity- Stop, Shinji shook his head violently to snap himself out of the recollections he was having, You're not there anymore. Ayanami protected you with nothing more than a heat shield and willpower, and she didn't even complain at the pain. His fists started tightening and relaxing repeatedly, a habit he had developed subconsciously to show when he was nervous or trying to control himself, If I want to be able to do something when the next angel attacks, I will have to become stronger, not scream at every bit of pain I receive. His eyes regained clarity, with a determined gaze he looked at the test plug's ceiling (which provided no answers to what bit of resolve he had). The image of Asuka lying on a hospital bed, lifeless as a doll instead of fiery and energetic, popped up in his brain. No more hurt because of my cowardice.
"Shinji-kun, your sync ratio just dropped by two points, are you alright?" A voice came over from the intercom. Ibuki-san, Shinji realised, as the same reassuring voice had guided him through his first launch in battle. My first battle, without any prior training, in which I got Toji's sister... Toji... "I'm fine," Shinji nearly choked out as his mind reminded him of his friend's injury at his hand again, "just need some time to concentrate better. I'm sorry."
His sync ratio just dropped again, shortly after I spoke... am I triggering one of the many traumatic memories of his? I'll need to talk to Major Katsuragi about this, as his guardian she should know. "It's alright Shinji-kun, you're doing great already. You're free to go, the test is finished. Oh, and Ayanami-san, please stop by Doctor Akagi's lab for a medical checkup after you leave the showers." Maya spoke in a strictly professional tone, the one she used to avoid letting her superiors - certain superiors - from noticing her affection for the pilots. Nobody should ever have to go through what these children had experienced.
I hope Ayanami is alright, Shinji thought with worry as he felt his A-10 nerve connections be terminated. The test plugs were drained of LCL quickly, Shinji coughing up the remaining LCL in his lungs as quickly as possible after almost a year of regular sessions spent sitting in the liquid. The smell... it always smells like blood, Shinji mentally thought with a bit of disgust, I could never get used to this. He turned around to see Ayanami leaving her test plug to the showers, the same stoic demeanour still present. Although, she seemed to be... troubled by something? I'll have to try to talk to her a bit, Shinji thought, maybe deep down, Ayanami may also be disturbed by Asuka's comatose state. I'm not the only one who needs help.
Turning on the tap, the chilly water sprayed out from the shower head, freezing Rei's skin. Despite the coldness of the water, she felt no particular discomfort. I do not find the cold water disturbing, Rei quietly pondered while she scrubbed herself off of the LCL, but the absence of Pilot Soryu is... distressing. I do not understand.
Pilot Soryu has repeatedly shown distaste and disgust towards me, and refers to me as 'wondergirl', apparently as a form of insult, Rei recalled of what short time she and Asuka had spent together, she constantly displays hostility towards her classmates, and Ikari-kun in particular.I should not be feeling distressed in her absence. Rei felt her chest constrict and her body shake. Why do I feel this way whenever I recall Pilot Soryu's treatment of Ikari-kun? Does this have any relation to Ramiel's attack, after which he had opened the emergency exit hatch and extracted me from the plug?
By the time Rei had snapped out of her contemplation of her own budding emotions, she had spent way too long in the showers. Perhaps I should inquire Ikari-kun of this at lunch time tomorrow at school. Rei decided, putting on her school uniform after drying herself, and headed to Doctor Akagi's lab.
"Ughhh..." A low groan sounded from the blonde doctor's lab, meanwhile, as the blonde doctor herself was trying to make heads or tails of the data collected from the 15 angel's attack, and failing... miserably.
The mental probe has similar properties to an A.T. field, Ritsuko mused, and it seemed to have directly communicated with Soryu's mind. How fascinating... if only the girl wasn't in a coma. Nonetheless, the risk of mental contamination from both Unit-02 and the Angel is too great. She quietly winced at the awkwardness of the situation she faced, And the lance of Longinus has been lost in orbit, unable to be retrieved. Won't Gendo need the lance to complete his plans?
It was at this moment that Rei chose to enter Ritsuko's lab, once again wearing her school uniform. "Doctor Akagi," Rei greeted, "I was informed that I am to report to your laboratory for a medical checkup."
"Ah, Ayanami," Ritsuko turned in her chair to face the blue-haired enigma, "Sit here and stay still. I have to do some blood tests on you."
Quietly doing as she's told to, Rei sat down lightly on the cold, hard examination bed. She merely watched on as the Head Scientist prepared the equipment needed for blood drawing. Doctor Akagi seems to become irritated in my prescene. Is it my stoic demeanour that caused her to disdain me to such an extent?
A pinch of pain, more than the usual blood draw would cause, alerted Rei to her veins being pierced by a narrow needle. Rei couldn't help it but wince at the feeling, not noticing Ritsuko had a dark look on her face.
"Stop whining, Ayanami. It's just a blood test." Can't believe the Commander's doll has emotions now, Ritsuko silently commented as she inserted the blood drawed into a bloodwork machine, starting the analysis.
Doctor Akagi is hiding something from me, as the Commander and she had been doing so as of late. Rei thought confusedly as she observed the blonde's almost aggressive behaviour, her motions seemingly done in a clipped motion. I will have to investigate by myself. It is inconvenient that He, or Doctor Akagi, know of my curiosity.
And it just sits there, staring at me creepily... how disgusting. "Ayanami, you can leave now. Remember to come in next week for your memory uploads." Ritsuko said in a clinical tone, trying to disguise her disdain and disgust for Ayanami.
"Yes ma'am," Rei intoned, saving her questions to herself to think about further and leaving the labs as quietly as she had entered. Doctor Akagi pointedly turned back to her computer, ignoring Ayanami's analytical gaze.
"This is not according to the scenario!" SEELE 04 demanded in an angry tone.
The old men are furious at my 'betrayal', it seems, the Commander mused as he listened to eleven of the twelve old men arguing about his supposed "betrayal", from the early awakening of Unit-01 with Zeruel as the catalyst, to the most recent loss of the Lance of Longinus, currently floating about in the moon's orbit.
"Ikari cannot be trusted anymore. We must replace him!" SEELE 05 demanded and received a chorus of approval.
"This cannot be allowed to continue, gentlemen. Ikari, you have abused the power we have given you and deviated greatly from the scenario that we are to follow. How shall you plead?" SEELE 02 intoned without the slightest intention of letting the Commander beg his mercy, not that the Commander of NERV would ever do such a thing other than in front of his now deceased wife. The entirety of the Committee knows of her fate after her schemed 'test' with Unit-01, however, and that makes it all the more dangerous.
The Commander still wore his cold expression behind his clothed hands, those hands containing the key to his own scenario. "I assure you, gentlemen. Without the use of the Lance of Longinus, we would have had no way to combat the 15th, Arael. Its loss was inevitable and necessary, and even without it the Ceremony shall proceed as planned. Would you rather see the Project fail because of our defeat by the Angel's hand?"
Another round of chaos started, some SEELE members arguing that the use of the Lance of Longinus was unnecessary, some demanding that Ikari be executed and replaced by a more obedient lap dog that wouldn't betray the committee. With the pilot of Unit-02 in a coma, NERV may have trouble defeating the last two angels. After all, if the Angels are not defeated, humanity itself, and the Project, would be subjected to absolute doom.
SEELE-01, the sole SEELE member who has not participated in the chaos, spoke for the first time in this meeting. "Silence, gentlemen. Let us hear what Ikari has to say about his actions." Whether he wishes to live to see Instrumentality and Third Impact.
The commander, for all the calmness - or coldness would be more accurate - he seemed to possess, answered the 'question' in a detached tone. "The defeat of the Angels is of utmost importance to the Project. Without their defeat, us humanity cannot be returned to the All-Mother Lilith and achieve completeness as a species. That the 15th was defeated with such a low cost, except for the loss of the Lance of Longinus, is akin to a miracle." Not once did he acknowledge the comatose Second Children. "However, the Lance could be retrieved by awakening Unit-01 and opening the Doors of Guf, which will be achieved by the breaking of the pilot's psyche. The Third Children's psyche is already on the verge of breaking, and we can use him to our content to complete the Project."
Ikari, do you intend to betray us so close to the End? "This is... an acceptable explanation, for now. However, the Committee demands NERV to unfreeze Unit-01, as the sole operating unit, Unit-00, is not sufficient to repel the last two Angels. At this time near the End, we shall not risk anything that endangers our scenario." The hidden meaning of SEELE-01's speech is clear to anyone listening: if Ikari betrays SEELE again, his actions will not be tolerated.
"Unit-01 will be unfrozen shall Unit-00 not be able to defeat the next Angels." The Commander insisted, the risk of Unit-01 starting the ritual while Adam's children are still alive too great to simply ignore. "The First in Unit-00 will be sufficient to defeat the remaining Angels. Unless absolutely necessary, it is unwise that Unit-01 be allowed to come into contact with the Angels."
"Remember, Ikari: you will not stay long in this position if you continue to deviate from the Project and have wrong priorities. The Committee will not tolerate betrayal of any kind." SEELE-01 warned sternly, then the black pillar holographs vanished as one, the Committee departing the meeting room to handle other affairs.
The blinding lights of a green room turned on, revealing Sub-commander Fuyutsuki standing beside Commander Ikari. "The old men are looking to remove us." The Sub-commander warned, "Ikari, you are playing a dangerous game."
"I know," Ikari Gendo replied to his sensei, "but this is the only way to see her again. We mustn't stop, not when the End is so close." Yui, we will meet again soon... just wait for a little longer.
Yui, would you forgive us... forgive me, for acting so foolishly? "Indeed, my student. It's too late to turn back now."
Saying that writing SEELE dialogues with Gendo is hard is an understatement. And Ritsuko/Rei relationship varies quite a lot in the TV, Manga, and Rebuilds. I've decided to go with TV version where Ritsuko hates Rei because she is an embodiment of Yui, but not Rei herself as much to the point of strangling her like her mother had.
Angels mentioned in the chapter: 3rd (Sachiel), 12th (Leliel), 13th (Bardiel/Unit-03), 14th (Zeruel), 15th (Arael)
Well, that's one long-awaited chapter. Expect chapters to come out more slowly (maybe 3k words per 2 weeks) because School.
Oh and just finished watching Black Rock Shooter (2010). Maybe I just have a liking for giant weapons and mechas, pretty characters and existential crisis topics.
'till next time, whenever that may be!
-Choc