Unknown to her Kazama heard her crying in a low voice in the room and he heard her when she entered the room as he could sense her. He will not disturb her and will let her cry as much as she wants. She had a hard experience and she needs time. Her husband was a peasant and she loved him as she didn't know she was an oni and she was accustomed to life with humans. With those thoughts he decided he won't disturb her and will pretend not to hear her cry.
In the early morning he woke up to her sight sleeping next to him with her back to him. He knew she had tried to make as much distance from him on the futon as she could as he could sense how careful she was getting into the futon and under the blanket, doing her best not to wake him up, worrying that maybe he would approach her if he did.
He looked calmly at her for moments. Even though he made sure not to take much of the blanket over himself as he knew she would not want to get so close to him, however she was not enough covered with a blanket. He extended his arm to gently run his fingers through her hair. Her hair felt a little cold against his skin. Then she bathed in the night.
After seconds he pulled back his hand. He approached her and covered her more with the blanket as he slightly leaned over her before he got up.
Chizuru woke up as she sensed the movement, seeing the window as the first thing. For the first seconds she was recalling nothing but then painfully the memories all came to her. She wished if this all was a dream.
Slowly she sat up and turned to Kazama.
"Rest as much as you want today Chizuru, I'll tell the maid to make sure you need nothing. I have some business and when I return, we'll have to continue going." He said as he changed clothes.
This was a very painful morning. Chizuru just put her head back on the pillow, curling on herself. Too tired to think of anything. Only grieving.
Some time later the maid came asking permission to enter from behind the shoji door. Chizuru lethargically sat up and turned to the door. "Enter," She said.
The maid entered with a big tray of food. That was Chizuru 's breakfast. There were also three hot pots of different kinds of tea and two cups. One for tea and the other for water. She put the tray on the floor beside Chizuru and took the untouched tray from last night and left.
Was this now her fate? Living with this man?
Time passed with Chizuru grieving and the maid entering again bringing lunch and taking the breakfast tray which Chizuru didn't touch either.
It was mid afternoon when he returned.
Kazama entered the room with some stuff in his hands to find Chizuru there sitting on a cushion still wearing the same yukata he gave her last night. She turned her head to him with a blank expression looking into his eyes.
He walked to her and sat next to her. Looking calmly at her eyes he put the package in front of her.
"These are new clothes for you. Get ready as we will be going soon. " He said in the same calm tone he was talking with the night before.
Chizuru took a look at the package then went back to Kazama. "How can you not care that who you are going to marry has no emotions for you?"
He leaned closer to her and she didn't recoil "because this is not only about us. This is a duty and it's about the future of every Oni."
They stared at each other like that. Kazama looked deeply in her eyes attempting to make more connection with her even though he could see that she had only hate for him. She was very full of emotions but not for him. Her heart was still aching for her dead husband.
Feeling irritated he blinked and looked away.
"Change your clothes, we'll be moving soon." He said as he leaned back against the wall and started preparing his kiseru.
Reluctantly Chizuru took the package and got up. She walked to the shoji door to go to the bathroom to change clothes there. She thought that Kazama would force her to change in the room but he didn't say or do anything.
Kazama just looked at her leaves. This was a hard time for all people. If only things were going as planned he would now have comfort next to his wife. This marriage was a duty and it didn't matter if they loved each other or not but he expected at least they wouldn't hate each other and hopefully find comfort together.
He was used to these burdens as the leader of his clan but he was hoping that Chizuru, even if not loving him, would understand the heaviness of his duties toward his clan and be a support for him.
Hopefully as time passes she comes to her senses.
He felt irritated at the idea of her not changing and shoved the idea from his head as he smoked his kiseru. He didn't want to think of that now.
For now they had to get to the Kazama clan fast before the princess of Yase realized she had got Kaoru not Chizuru and sent back her foxes again to find him.
Chizuru returned wearing the clothes he brought her. The finest he found fitting her as the clan superior.
His eyes danced across her figure, that was a comforting feeling until he looked into her face. Still aching only for her dead husband. The comfort vanished.
She didn't say anything. She didn't have anything to say to him.
"The carriage is waiting outside. Let's go." He said as he got up and walked to the door waiting for her to leave first and then followed her all the way to the carriage. Waited for her to sit first then joined her and sat next to her.
Some minutes passed in silence with only the sound of the carriage moving.
"Remember I'm doing this only for him to be alive." Chizuru said in a harsh and determined tone not looking at him. "If I know he has died then you will have nothing to use against me."
"You think I want your life to be miserable?" Said Kazama after moments of silence as he could feel Chizuru's tense breathing. She wanted to grief but was holding it all back.
"You think I'm a monster? I acted harsh because there was no easy way to do what had to be done." He said not looking at her.
"You didn't even give me a chance to say farewell to him." She replied in a harsh and pained tone.
Kazama slowly furrowed his eyebrows as he hated that she was mentioning her last kiss with her husband.
"That was for your own benefit. He doesn't deserve you and he would never be able to give you what I'm giving you." He said calmly looking at her and she looked at him in return. His brows still slightly furrowed but his eyes calm and she looked at him with the same pained but strong expression. An expression of a warrior. She was not going to show weakness in front of him.
She believed he would force himself on her soon but she was not afraid. No fear in her eyes and expression.
His eyes softened "I'm not intending to hurt you my dear. I'll make sure you forget him. I'll give you so much that this experience becomes only a memory. " He continued.
"He gave me his heart but you don't have one. He gave so much that I would rather die if he was dead" She said in the same tone.
"I don't only want you for your womb. When I said those words back then it was a tense moment and you were out of your senses. It was not a moment to talk." He said calmly .
"I want you to come into my arms willingly. I want a life of comfort with you." He continued calmly while looking in her eyes.
He could see her expression was one of confusion.
"As time passes you'll see."
They didn't say anything for the next few hours and until it was nighttime. Chizuru's stomach growled every now and then as she has not really eaten anything that was given to her in the inn since last evening.
Eventually they stopped by the next inn for a short rest.
Kazama didn't ask for a room but only ordered a full dinner with sake. He ordered them to bring the finest they have.
"I told the maid this morning to bring you a variation of the best they have and yet you didn't eat." He said calmly looking at her while both were sitting on the dinner table.
Chizuru just looked at him and blinked and didn't say anything as she was not willing to talk to him.
"This time we will not move until you eat." He continued as she looked away.
Few minutes later the maid brought their food and Chizuru, not willing to argue, ate anyway, not that she was completely unwilling to eat.
Neither of them said anything and as they finished, they returned to the carriage. Again Chizuru sitting first then followed by Kazama.
They kept going until it was near midnight that they stopped at another inn. Chizuru eventually fell asleep on the way and was asleep when they stopped.
Kazama lightly rocked her arm, waking her up. "Come on, get out, you'll sleep inside. " He said.
As Chizuru looked at the inn, a horrifying thought came to her. Was he going to force himself on her tonight? She had already made up her mind on that. She chose this fate so Kazama doesn't kill Saitou. She doesn't regret anything and she won't show any sign of weakness in front of him. She won't allow him to break her.
He opened the shoji door and waited for Chizuru to enter, then he joined her and closed the door.
Inside was a double futon like the first inn. Since she planned to behave in front of Kazama for days or weeks until her husband recovers and comes back to her or she finds another plan, she went to the futons and slid into the blankets, laying on her side with her back to him. If he was going to force himself on her tonight, she was ready to endure it.
She could feel his eyes on her but he didn't approach her instead he sounded to be going to the door.
"I'll go take a bath. Rest well ." He said as he left and closed the shoji door.
Chizuru, breathing calmly, fell asleep. The luxury and warmth of the room helped her clarify her thoughts.
Kazama didn't return to the room right after bathing instead he ordered sake and went to the porch to drink under the snowy weather. He could not leave all his duties and spent all his time trying to make Chizuru accept him as a husband. However, he still was eager to find some comfort next to her.
After some minutes he got up and returned to the room. Chizuru was still soundly asleep. He changed clothes into a sleeping yukata and slid into blankets next to her. He felt a full erection as he stared at her. During their trek on the carriage he had the same feeling. He could take her now and here after all she accepted to be his wife but that's not how he wanted his life with her to be.
The next morning the weather was still snowy and again Kazama left for some business. Chizuru this time ate her breakfast and again she started thinking of Hajime. She was hoping that even if he didn't find a way to come back to her and save her, she still would be able to get help from the princess of Yase, Sen hime. Of course she knew that Kazama was not stupid and that he guessed her plans, however she believed she would knock on every door and try every plan until she could find it. More importantly she must be sure that he would not impregnate her as it would be difficult to break away from him with a child and even if she could there's no way he would let her take the child with herself.
Her knowledge on medicine was enough to let her know about some ways and recipes to avoid pregnancy. She even would rather be infertile than continuing life with Kazama. She had to get access to those recipes fast before he forced himself on her therefore she had to gain his trust.