"I thought you were going to force yourself on me the first night you sent me to the inn." She said tranquility moments later.
Kazama got off of her and laid beside her, his arm wrapped around her waist and his head on her shoulder. The top part of her yukata was still open, revealing her bare chest.
"You are not worried about that anymore?" He asked.
"I don't know. You tell me, should I be worried? Will you use power if I refuse?" She asked as she turned her face to him. Now, only centimeters between them. Each of them could sense the warmth of the other's breath on their own faces now.
"Earlier this evening, it didn't seem like I needed to use any." He replied.
"That was different. It's not like I want to do it every time."
"What did I do that made you willing to do it?"
"You didn't do anything. It was just our agreement, and I knew that sooner or later, we were going to do it. It's just that it happened much smoother than I expected. "
"And how did you expect me to do it?" he asked in a softer tone, his hand moving up and down her waist .
"I thought that I was going to feel tortured." She answered, not a hint of worry on her face.
"I expected you to be sleeping the whole night tonight after what we did. You should be exhausted. I didn't imagine we would be awake until now." He said, still moving his hand up and down her waist.
"I am surprised myself. How about yourself? Don't you have to go somewhere tomorrow?"
"I can stay awake the whole night even if there is war tomorrow. " He said. Chizuru moved to lay on her side as the weight of his head on her shoulder started to cause her discomfort and lifted the blanket to cover herself up until the shoulders, so now her chest was not bare. Kazama shifted with her, so now they both were laying on their sides again facing each other, and Kazama leaned on his elbow with his head resting on his hand.
"I didn't know you were so concerned about what Amagiri thinks of you." Chizuru asked.
"What do you mean?" Kazama asked. It was clear on his face that he didn't understand what she meant.
"Once we got off the carriage, you rushed to see if Amagiri was present or not. Then, once you knew he was not there, you rushed to take me to the bedroom. Then you did it all fast."
"Right, I didn't even get the chance to see you well with no clothes.He thinks I'm hurting you, and I thought that you could be loud."
"It was not harsh like I expected. What were you going to do if I refused to sleep with you in the carriage or afterward in the inn? Were you going to use power?"
"I wouldn't use power with you like that. I would only remind you that this is what a husband and wife have to do."
"And if I refused?"
"I don't intend to hurt you, so I would give you some more time. Don't ask me what I would do if you kept refusing again. "
"I was not going to ask."
"You have a very beautiful neck." He said in a low voice, not looking at her but looking at her neck and collar as he moved his hand on her neck and clavicle.
"So soft,..." He murmured.
"If all we get along well with is when our bodies are entangled, then what about the rest of the time? Aren't you worried about how our separation affects the child? That he or she will probably never have a good childhood? She or he will always feel like they are betraying the other of us when they are close to one of us." She asked, bringing up the matter of the child again.
"I don't have a choice. This was a duty that had to be done soon. Even if the child grows to hate me, I'll just have to accept it." Obviously, he was just doing what he believed had to be done and didn't spend much time imagining what would come afterward. It was as if he was raised to be cold and do things the hard way like it was the most natural way.
"So you don't think about what will come later. You only think about the duty and merely producing the Oni, and then you say you have a heart."
"The heart, my dear, will not save anyone from the upcoming war."
"The heart is what makes us believe in what we believe in even if we are not emotional all the time.Without a heart, all we believe in at the moment would be different." She was right.
"Don't you want to talk about something else?" He tried to change the subject.
"Do you know how it feels to be hated by your own child?" She looked into his eyes for answers. For her, It seemed like he didn't have an answer. Maybe deep down, he was just a pathetic creature.
"Can't you think about anything else? "
"How do you feel about human children?" She asked, and she mentally prepared herself for the probability of hearing something unnerving.
"How so?" Asked Kazama, sensing her nervousness.
"How do you feel when you see a human child suffering in war or in poverty?"
"You take me for a monster? Didn't the men in the Shinsengumi headquarters where you were working like a servant kill many humans who have children?" He replied, obviously disturbed by her.
"Then tell me, have you ever helped any of those children have a better life or suffer less, at least?"
"If you want, tomorrow, we can go out together and help anyone you choose." He said, and she thought a little before deciding that it was not enough proof if he was going to do that only in front of her a few times.
"Just tell me how you feel about them?"
"Well, even if I hold a negative view of what they become when they grow up, I know they are as innocent as Oni children when they are young." Chizuru didn't reply. She didn't really feel convinced by his answer. He was right about the Shinsengumi killing people who had children, too, but that was different. Killing because one had to kill is different from killing when you can spare. However, she didn't have proof that they were killing out of necessity or not.
Okita was playing with children a lot, but he never showed regret or worry regarding killing people who probably had children waiting for them, too. Maybe he was thinking of that but never expressed it. Maybe he was so drowned in his sad childhood memories that he got numb now.
"You think you are pregnant now?" Kazama asked, interrupting her thoughts.
"Why do you ask? What if I am?"
"I'll adopt the child as mine. You don't need to worry about anything. You talk about human children, that's why I asked. "
"I don't know. Maybe I'm pregnant. What will be the future of the child as a half demon?"
"The child will be safe far away from war."
"What if the child doesn't look like me?" She asked, implying that the child might look like Hajime.
"Even if the child looks like you, it'll still be well known that it's half demon. You can feel assured that your child will live safely with us." Kazama replied.
Chizuru held her stomach, wondering if there was a child. For seconds, none of them said anything.
If she was pregnant, then she probably could not use the herbs that she asked Amagiri to bring for her to avoid getting pregnant because some of those herbs would probably bring her another miscarriage. Kazama said he would not use force with her, so maybe she should not worry. But after what they did hours ago in the inn and in the carriage, he probably thinks she is content to do it again and will most likely approach her again. But here he was laying beside her on the same futon, not attempting anything even though he was on top of her for minutes.
"You won't separate it from the pureblood sibling, right?" She finally asked, and he looked at her again.
"No, why would I do that? But if we don't get along well, then the children might probably not get along either." He said in a calm voice, looking in her eyes, attempting to convince her more of accepting him.
Notes:
Regarding Kazama asking Chizuru if she is still worried that he uses force with her or not, I wrote him like that because according to hakuouki sekkaroku ova Kazama's episode, Kazama likes to tease Chizuru as he asks her if she wants him to steal her away.
I want my readers to know that I'm willing to know all the details regarding what they think or feel about the story. I don't feel insulted at all if someone said the story should have been this way or that way and shouldn't be this or that.
I'm that type of authors that don't feel insulted with such types of comments at all. So if that's what you have in heart, please don't be afraid to tell me at all. I won't consider it rude.
It's true that the story is mine, but for some authors, and I'm one of those authors, the reader is the coworker so I highly appreciate any kind of comments or opinions from the reader.