Author's Note: Thank you all for reading and reviewing my story :D

Ya'll are giving me the fuel to keep going, so don't stop commenting, every review (even Guest Reviews) matters. Thanks again!

Fun Fact: Stormalong is the name of the harbor from Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (MMoF), and Pendleton Ward worked both on MMoF and Adventure Time.

Chapter 6: Tears of a Rainbow

Finn dove into the water to obtain his Stormalong sword that was sitting at the bottom of the lake. Thankfully, the Lake Knights were hiding in the deep and dark parts of the lake, obviously still spooked by Marceline's demon vampire bat form, but he had to be quick.

He made it to the bottom and grabbed his sword, the strange looking device, and a few pieces of gold. As he was collecting the stuff, a few of the Lake Knights in the water noticed Finn taking their treasure and quickly alerted the other Lake Knights.

"Shit, time to bounce!"

Finn started to swim back to the surface as quickly as he could, not just because he needed to escape from the Lake Knights, but he was running out of air. He heard a loud rumbling, and a large horde of Lake Knights began to swim after the human, emerging from the deep depths of the lake.

He was able to make out the appearance of the Lake Knights and they looked quite freaky. Finn couldn't see them that clearly at night during Marceline's performance, but now during the daytime and up close, they were quite ugly and scary looking.

They had the mouths of a blood sucking lamprey, the body of a shark, human-like arms with flippers that were strangely shaped like human hands, and they wore birthday hats on their heads, but they were made of metal, and every single one of them was armed with a jagged bone sword.

"Ah!" Finn made it to the surface and got out of the water swiftly. Upon landing on the grass, he started to sprint away from the lake and once he got far enough, he looked back to see if the Lake Knights continued to chase him on land, but to his relief, they didn't get out of the water.

"Oh, thank god…." Finn sighed with relief.

While Finn waited to dry off, he decided to see what this device was all about. It appeared to be some kind of voice translator that can turn be worn on someone, or something, and when they speak, others will be able to know what they are talking about.

It's like placing it on a Japanese person, setting the device to English, and when the Japanese person talks, English speakers will be able to understand what the Japanese person is saying, even though the Japanese person doesn't know how to speak English and was never taught how.

"Now this is going to come in handy." Finn smirked. If he ran into an intelligent being that spoke a different language, he can totally use this to his advantage. He better not lose this device.

While waiting to dry off, Finn's mind went back to the dream he had. It was pretty obvious and straight forward on its message; he needed to save Jake, even if this Jake is different from his normal dog Jake, but what made him uncomfortable was the deep menacing male voice that mocked him.

It said something about him being unable to beat Hunson Abadeer's daughter. He just got into a fight with Marceline, and she was the first female monster Finn ran into, meaning that it was a no brainer that this Hunson Abadeer is Marceline's father.

"So that means the vamp chick's full name is Marceline Abadeer. I wonder what he is…" Finn pondered.

Marceline was already pretty strong, so maybe Hunson Abadeer must have been some kind of overpowered big daddy Dracula that was older and stronger than Marceline. He remembered the bite marks on her neck, so there was a strong possibility that she used to be human, but was turned into a vampire by Hunson Abadeer and 'adopted' her.

He had a tiny hunch that Marceline had issues with Hunson Abadeer, more than just being pissed about being a vampire. Finn of course didn't know anything about their relationship, but the Vampire Queen's attitude towards him was giving him a lot of mixed signals and she looked like an edgy goth. It was pretty much a universal law that goth and emo chicks had daddy issues.

In fact, when Marceline was telling him about the various royalty in Ooo, she didn't bring up her dad which is suspicious…

The deep voice was also telling him that he should die off like the rest of his kind. It sent a horrifying implication that humans don't exist in Ooo because they all died off or something committed genocide against them.

He had to know the truth and ask someone if humans are alive and well here. Finn will be devastated if the world of Ooo is actually the future and not an alternate world; mankind dying while non-human beings like the Lake Knights, vampires, and other pigmen getting to take over Earth.

He was still a bit wet, so Finn took the time to lay out all of his weapons in front of him and an interesting idea came to him.

"I can shoot flames from the fire wand while holding it and I can shoot lightning from Stormalong as long as I'm holding the blade…so what if I…" Finn placed the fire wand on the handle of the lightning sword and took out some rope that he had stashed in his backpack; the rope he kept with him when he was sent to a camp for Boy Scouts and were he got his tying knot badge.

Finn tied the wand to the lightning sword handle as best as he could.

"I hope this works…" The human stood up and swung the sword.

A mixture of thunderbolts and fireballs were unleashed from the blade.

"Mathematical!" He said with excitement, observing the fire and electricity running up and down the blade.

"Oh, right! I just upgraded my cool sword! Man, I wish I can show mom and dad…" His joy turned to sadness, realizing that his parents are probably wondering where he went. He had to get back home and away from this world.

Finn placed the device in his green backpack and after he completely dried off, he got dressed and took out some extra spare clothes from his green backpack.

He put on a white headband around his forehead Rambo styled, a light blue tank top, dark blue jeans, and got back his black steel-toed boots. He sheathed upgraded Stormalong on his back, kept a small knife sheathed on his belt, and held a 9mm Uzi, one of the guns that he picked up from the Dungeon Train.

Without his car, Finn was more exposed because now he needed to quickly find shelter for the night; the human no longer had the comfort of sleeping in a locked vehicle and while it was good he did have weapons, food, and water with him, he still needed to safe haven to rest.

"Hey Spin System…" Finn began while stretching his legs.

[Yes, are you going to spin again? You can now]

After what happened with the Vampire Queen, Finn felt very hesitant to use the Spin System. It wasn't some cool awesome power he can pop off at anytime to save him, because this very thing that could turn the tide in his favor, is also the same thing that will get him killed.

"Can you do anything else to help me? Like tell me where to go to get stronger?"

[…]

[I will offer this one advice to you. Scattered in the land of Ooo, you can become powerful if you form an alliance with certain individuals and there are various locations you can explore to get a useful item, or a competent minion. You have already lucked out by stumbling on the Dungeon Train and obtaining some magical weapons. As for how to get them and where are they? I cannot tell you. That is all I'm going to give you…]

Finn nodded. It was something at least.

He was in fact lucky by finding that train as all he had was a pistol, knife and no food and water when he arrived in this world, now he had a magical lightning sword, a hammer that can turn enemies to stone, a fire wand, more guns, a few other items like the floating tiny moon that deflects ranged attacks, and a nice supply of food and water.

It still wasn't enough though as he was still hopelessly outmatched against Marceline and Finn bet there were monsters around that were stronger than the Vampire Queen, like Hunson Abadeer.

"This is what this land or world is called huh? Ooo? What a weird name, but you…its fitting after witnessing all the crazy crap I just experienced." Finn commented and he was still dumbfounded at idea of a storm that rains down goddamn steel knives. He also realized Marceline called this place Ooo as well in her letter, and when she was talking to him.

"Well…" He began.

"If I need to explore to get stronger, then its adventure time." Finn cocked his gun and started to trek through the nearby woods and off the grassy meadow. The human was in survival mode and if there are monsters around that are as strong as Marceline, or stronger than her, then he needs to become powerful to survive long enough so he can meet the Grand Wizard in Wizard City.

He was unfortunately back to square one, roaming around aimlessly with no clear direction of where to go and he was in a very bad position because he had no vehicle to easily cover a lot of ground and was forced to walk, all thanks to a certain vampire...

After at least two hours of walking through the woods, Finn finally found a dirt path and started to walk on it, and he decided to go right. After twenty minutes of walking, Finn came across a fork in the road and there was a wooden stump that had a double red arrow sign on it that was in between the two paths.

Finn studied the sign, thinking of what to do, but the wooden stump started to talk to him in a feminine voice that sounded like a punk rock teenage girl that was bored.

"Ring, ring! Hey there, bro." The stump said to him.

Finn looked at the wooden stump in shock, keeping his Uzi ready.

"Is that wooden stump talking to me? Am I going crazy?" He asked himself.

"No, man. I'm real, unless something is wrong with your head whatever you are." The wooden stump said. He noticed the wooden stump suddenly sprouted eyes and a mouth.

"What are you, a tree monster?" He asked the wooden stump.

"Nah. I'm just a stump. I've been here for many years and what not. Anyway! Are you looking to take the right, or left path? I must warn you about them-"

"Wait! Can you tell me where the nearest town, or city is?" Finn asked the talking wooden stump, interrupting it. Finn was glad that he finally found an intelligent talking creature that wasn't out for his blood.

He also needed to adjust to the weirdness that is Ooo; he just saw the sky rain knives, a train going an infinite loop with no engine powering it that had generic Dungeons and Dragons inspired monsters in it, met a hot gothic vampire biker chick that likes music, fighting, is a bit of a pervert, and mugged him of his stuff, black eyed girls that were most likely monsters pretending to look like little human girls, and a bunch of underwater fish creatures armed with bone swords and wearing metal birthday hats as their 'helmets' for battle.

A talking wooden stump shouldn't be too surprising to him.

"Don't know guy, I've been in these woods for many years." It replied.

"Anyway! If you take the left path, you'll lose your hair forever! But if you take the right path, you'll be smelly forever! Go ahead and take your pick."

"Does any of them lead to a city, or town?"

"Don't know, man. Just pick."

"No." Finn refused.

"It's the only way. You gotta pick."

"Nah, I'll just go through the bushes." He actually believed the wooden stump. He wasn't going to dismiss it and claim that it was lying because in just two days of being here, logic didn't seem to make sense in the land of Ooo and magic that defied physics was pretty much real here. He didn't want to suddenly get hit by some terrible curse from simply walking down a dirt road.

"But it's nothing but thorny bushes behind me, you'll get cut man."

Finn walked behind the wooden stump.

"No, it's ok. Besides I got a nifty sword to cut through them with no issues. Thank you for warning me about the other two paths. I don't want to lose my hair or smell bad forever." Finn said politely, taking out Stormalong.

"Fine." The wooden stump said, not being too happy about his choice. Finn sliced through the thorny bushes with ease and after a few minutes of walking and hacking his way through the large thorny bushes, he came across a large river.

"Ring, ring." He heard a male voice come from a nearby bush that was close to the edge of the river. The bush sprouted eyes and a mouth.

"Did I walk into a forest filled with talking plants and trees?" Finn thought, looking at the bush.

"Hello, dummy police? Yes, there's a strange dummy lurking around my house. Ok. Yes. Thank you, goodbye." The bush spoke out loud.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Finn asked the bush. The bush just gave him a blank stare.

"Anyway, is there a way around this river?"

"You can't cross this river, it's impossible! The water is so acidic it will melt your boat, there are electric eels in there, and the current is too strong!" The bush warned him.

"Yikes." Finn said in shock.

"There is a bridge you can cross, but it's a trap. There are monsters hiding under the bridge waiting to ambush you."

Finn looked over and he saw the large stone bridge not too far from his position, but he noticed shadowy creatures lurking under it.

"Thanks bush, I'll take my chances with the bridge." Finn said, gripping his Stormalong. He was a bit more confident in fighting monsters thanks to upgrading his sword.

"W-What? Are you crazy, dummy? You can't go that way. You'll need to find another way!"

"It's ok bush dude, I got this. Thank you for warning me about the lake."

After Finn dealt with the monsters under the bridge and moved on, he was surprised at how easy it was killing them. Then again, the monsters were a bunch of shadow trolls, and they are quite vulnerable to fire attacks, so the human was able to make short work of them. The human was walking nearby a cliff, being careful not to make a misstep and fall down until a spontaneous headache came to him.

"Ow, what the?" Finn's head started to hurt again, and his vision swam. He saw a figure standing nearby the edge of the cliff and the figure looked just like him, but it was him as a kid.

The kid version of himself started to sing.

"Ugh…" Finn grabbed his forehead as the pain got worse.

I was wrong

How could it be?

I trusted in my guts, but ended up all nuts

I was wrong, how could it be?

I listened to my brain, but ended up insane…

Finn didn't know what he was watching. The kid version of himself was singing about something he did wrong, and it didn't help that he looked all dirty and beat up like he was in a fight. His leg was even in a cast…

"What the hell does this mean?" He questioned a loud, turning to run from the edge of the cliff and went back into the woods, trying to ignore the eyes from the trees looking down on him. The trees didn't talk to him like the wooden stump and bush, just observed him.

After closing his eyes and taking a moment to catch his breath, his vision returned to normal, and his head stopped hurting.

"Umm, excuse me." Finn heard a voice behind him. The human looked behind him to discover a short hairy creature talking to him.

The creature looked very humanoid with pink skin, brown fur covering its belly, chest, and top of its head, and it had large pig-like ears. It was also quite small in stature, with its head coming up to Finn's waist.

"Oh, hello." Finn greeted the creature.

"Hey, friend. Can you help me please? My wheel for my wagon got stuck in a tree and I'm trying to get the watermelons for my wife and her friend. You're pretty tall, so will you help me?"

"Umm, sure. Oh, do you know where the nearest town or city is? I'm lost." Finn said to the creature.

"I don't know, my wife and I have lived in this forest for years and we haven't really traveled to any Ooo kingdom. Maybe if you ask my wife's friend, Lady Rainicorn, she could help you out." He told Finn, getting the human to follow him to the direction of his wagon.

"Were you looking for the cyclops?" The creature asked Finn as the human climbed up the tree and retrieved the wheel.

"No, why?" Finn replied, giving the wheel to the creature.

"Well, we have some people every now and then asking where he is and he usually sleeps by the cliff, but I keep telling them that the Lich killed the cyclops." He fixed his broken wagon while trying not to think of that bad day the Lich massacred many innocents when it broke free.

"Huh? Why would this Lich kill the cyclops?" Finn asked.

"Legend has it that the magical tears of the cyclops can heal and restore your wounds, but the Lich killed him." He explained, walking with Finn while pulling his fixed wagon loaded with fresh watermelons.

"I see…" Finn frowned.

"I thanked Glob that day that my wife and I were able to flee in time before that horrible thing would murder us." He said sincerely and as the human and creature walked through the woods, they heard crying.

"Poor Lady Rainicorn, she is still upset over Jake the Dog missing…" He said sadly.

"Jake…maybe she might know where he is." Finn thought.

The two came to a clearing within the forest and Finn quickly noticed two creatures standing nearby a home that looked like a large Indian teepee. One of the creatures looked like the hairy humanoid he just helped, but the other looked like a strange unicorn-like creature.

The unicorn creature had the face of a horse, white eyes, a slender white horn sticking out of its head, a long blonde mane, an almost serpent-like body, and its skin was multi-colored stripes like a rainbow.

"Dang, it's like God created a Unicorn that has a normal horse body, but then decided to stretch its body into a noodle. Wow…" Finn stared in amazement at her appearance.

Finn took note that the unicorn creature was crying while the male creature's wife was trying to comfort it.

"Rainy, I brought more watermelons!" The creature said to his wife.

"Oh, thank goodness, Pan. I'm glad you made it home safe." Rainy said, hugging her husband, Pan.

"Who is that?" Rainy asked.

"A good friend that helped me fixed my broken wagon and-opps! I completely forgot to introduce myself! My name is Pan, this is my wife, Rainy." Pan said, introducing himself and his wife.

"Hey, you two, my name is Finn Mertens."

"Pleased to meet you, thank you for helping my husband."

"No problem. Now…" Finn walked up to the unicorn creature that was trying to wipe away its tears, looking at him curiously.

"Lady Rainicorn, please stop crying. Maybe Finn Mertens could help you with your husband just like he helped mine. He definitely looks like a warrior type as he has the hard rock muscles and is carrying weapons…" Rainy said to her while rubbing her head.

"She's right, I came to help you. Do you know where Jake the Dog is? I've been sent to find him." Finn said.

Lady Rainicorn's eyes widened in surprised, and she started to talk to him excitedly, but Finn had no idea what she was saying as she spoke in a different language that he didn't understand. It sounded Asian, but to Finn, it just sounded like gibberish.

"Great, a language barrier…wait a minute!" Realization struck Finn like a lightning bolt.

"I'm sorry, I can't understand you right now, but I have something I need you to wear so I can talk to you." Finn said to Lady Rainicorn. He dug into his backpack to retrieve the voice translator device.

She eyed the device and seemed very interested in it as if she saw it before in the past and nodded in understanding to Finn's request. She let Finn place the device on her neck and the human switched the dial. There were four choices on the device: Old Man, Nerdy Alien, Nightmare, and Femme Fatale.

He switched it to Nightmare and Lady Rainicorn spoke in tongues like an unholy demon, making Finn, Pan, and Rainy flinch.

"Jesus!"

Finn quickly switched it to Nerdy Alien, and it was just gibberish, and he couldn't understand anything.

"How about this?" Finn switched to it to Old Man. Lady Rainicorn was able to speak and Finn was now able to understand her.

("Hello? Finn Mertens? Can you understand me?") She spoke to him.

"Yeah, I can, but I don't know if it this is the right voice for you." Finn switched it to Femme Fatale. Lady Rainicorn was obviously female, and it didn't sit right with the human for the her to sound like a gruff old man that worked all his life on a farm.

("How about now?") She asked.

"Damn." Finn's eyes widened in surprised at the change of her voice. Lady Rainicorn's voice had a husky and seductive vibe about it, and she had a strong Korean accent, and it seemed to really enhance the raw sexual prowess of her voice.

It was like Lady Rainicorn was voiced by a veteran Asian porn star that is adept at seducing people and had great acting skills, and even Pan and Rainy were taken back by her change in her voice as both husband and wife blushed.

It made Finn think back to those times were he would masturbate to big breasted girls on porn sites when his parents weren't around.

"I can understand you now." Finn shook himself out of the amazement and forced himself to focus; he had a precious dog to rescue. This was no time to think about smut.

"This must be your sexy voice." He chuckled.

Lady Rainicorn nodded, and a naughty smirk spread across her face.

("Jake threw it away because every time he would hear this voice, we would go at it like rabbits in heat, hehe. He threw away this voice translator so he could focus on his Hero career with his brother, Jermaine and I agreed because we didn't want to let this device control our lives as I have responsibilities too. Anyway, you've came to help me with my husband?")

"Yeah, I too am trying to advance my Hero career just like Jake." Finn replied.

("Okay, but before we go locate my husband and his brother, you must come to my home first. I have another person in my home that wants to go on the same mission as you…")

Lady Rainicorn walked closer to Finn.

("Get on my body and we'll fly there.")

"Fly?" He asked in puzzlement.

("Yeah, please get on.")

"Umm, ok…" Finn climbed on top of her with hesitation and held her mane tightly. Finn was a bit nervous about flying after a certain vampire played with him in the air.

("Don't be nervous Mister Mertens, I promise I won't drop you.") Lady Rainicorn smiled. Lady Rainicorn turned to Pan and Rainy.

("Thank you both for cheering me up. I needed it.")

"Oh darling, we don't mind. Come back any time!" Rainy said happily.

"Yes, you two are always welcome back! Thank you again for helping me with my wagon, friend!" Pan waved goodbye to Finn.

"No problem, friend!" Finn waved back. It felt good to finally meet civil and intelligent beings that were genuine friendly and didn't have bad intentions.

Lady Rainicorn took off flying towards her house, leaving behind Pan and Rainy with Finn holding on tight.

"You got the melons?" Rainy asked.

"Oh, yeah, baby!" Pan grabbed two watermelons and both husband and wife entered their teepee home.

Pan was collecting the watermelons not just for food, but by consuming the seeds, it will increase their sexual stamina and fertility because of their unique genetics, especially in Rainy's case. Pan wanted so badly to be a father and Rainy wanted to be a mother.

"Come here you!" Rainy pounced on Pan and began to tongue kiss her husband, forcing him down on the bed.

"Yes, give it to me." Pan whispered huskily in his wife's ear…

While flying through the air, Finn noticed that all he saw was nothing but trees everywhere. He was traveling for some time, and he still wasn't close to finding a town or city; he thanked god he ran into Lady Rainicorn.

"So do you know where Jake is?" Finn asked.

("Yes, I know where my husband is, but the issue at hand is that he turned into a monster called a Gut Grinder and is holding an entire small-town hostage when he was sent there to rescue the town from a monster. Jermaine went to go rescue him, but he didn't come back. I then went to go save both of them, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt my husband, and he was beating me up badly. I am pregnant with Jake's puppies and the lives of my puppies are threatened if my body takes too much damage.") She explained.

"Whoa…" Finn said in awe. In his world, Jake was just a normal dog that was his pet and best friend, but here? Jake was a talking magical dog that was a heroic adventurer that married a magical unicorn-like creature and impregnated her.

"You know Pan and Rainy well, huh?"

("Sometimes we would have a couple's night with them. Jake and I and Rainy and her husband would go do something fun together. I do hope Rainy has children of her own.") Lady Rainicorn replied.

"Yeah, they are a cute couple." Finn nodded.

("If you don't mind me asking, but where do you come from? I haven't seen you in Ooo at all. You are new and you have a yummy smell.")

Finn decided to roll with the idea that he was a human prince from an island, pretty much giving her the same information just like with the Vampire Queen.

("Well, I do hope you make it back to your parents and I am honored to have a prince go out of his way to help me. Thank you. It's great that humans didn't go extinct if you and that island filled with humans are around.")

Finn's blood ran cold.

"E-Extinct? All humans died off in Ooo?" Finn asked nervously.

("Whole world actually…there was a big war called the Great Mushroom War where humans destroyed each other, and the surviving humans were picked off by vampires, or my kind.")

"Y-You ate humans?" He said in fright. He was tempted to reach for Stormalong, but Finn stopped himself.

("No, I never tried human. My grandparents probably did, but its ok Finn, you might smell really good, but I won't hurt you. You are my friend for going out of your way to help me.")

Dread washed over Finn, realizing that he most likely be the last human lost in this crazy world. But what bothered him the most wasn't the fact that unicorn creatures liked to prey on humans and eat them, but the fact that humans killed themselves off. She said it was the Great Mushroom War, but to Finn, it was basically…

"War World 3 happened in this world…" He whispered in horror…

Next Chapter: A Man's Best Friend