Teddy led the way towards their air bnb in Landstuhl, they were only there for three nights but Teddy wanted her younger children and grandchildren to see it.
"Mama are you okay," Annie asked.
"I am," Teddy said, "sweetheart, you don't need to worry. There's a lot of good memories here. You coming to see me, Owen. We wrote your residency applications here."
"We did," Annie smiled, "that's 20 years ago, 21 maybe?"
"Almost 21," Teddy smiled.
"Remember the first time I came to visit," Annie asked, "it was Christmas."
"I picked you and Chris up at the airport," Teddy said, "it was snowing."
"It was the first time I had actually seen you in uniform," Annie said.
"You weren't impressed," Teddy replied.
"Everyone was being all formal with you and calling you ma'am," Annie replied, "and asking if I was going to follow you into the army."
"That was a good visit," Teddy replied.
"We went to the Christmas market in the snow," Annie smiled, "and ate all the junk food."
"How many times did we sit around in leggings and drink a couple bottles of wine," Teddy asked.
"With roast chicken from that place," Annie said.
Teddy looked around, "it's still there. We're ordering. I doubt it's the same but."
"Let's try it," Annie agreed, "wine?"
"We will have wine," Teddy agreed.
They walked up the steps and Teddy took the keys from her pocket. They had met the person for the keys on their walk from the train station to the apartment.
"Annie and Josh, their kids and Leo in unit 5," Teddy said, "it's got more beds. Annie will figure out who goes where. Dad and I, Allison, Asher and Everly in number 4."
"Four," Owen said.
"Four," Teddy said, "I know. My old place."
"You really lived here grandma," Heather asked.
"I did," Teddy responded, "for three years."
"Mommy did you live here with Grandma," Heather asked.
"I came to visit but I was living in Boston and going to school," Annie replied, "I loved coming here to visit."
"Your mom and I went on some amazing adventures," Teddy smiled.
"You were my age when you moved back home," Annie said.
"I was," Teddy agreed.
"We'll put our stuff next door but I want to see it," Annie said, "see my room."
"You had a room here," Ellie asked.
"I called it Annie's room but it was a guest room," Teddy said," but I picked colors your mom liked when I decorated it."
"Where was Allison," Asher asked.
"Owen and I hadn't even thought of having Allie yet we weren't together until I was pregnant with her," Teddy said, "I moved here a few months after my first husband died. I was a widow with a 21 year old in med school. I was here for three years. It was Annie and I."
"But you didn't live here," Asher asked Annie.
"No," Annie replied, "I was in Boston for med school. I shared a little 2 bed apartment with my friend Steph. Josh was around the corner. Josh and I started dating the same."
"Annie," Owen cut her off.
"I did the math 20 years ago," Josh said, "and Annie was freaked out but wouldn't tell me why she was freaking out."
"That was an intense week," Teddy agreed.
"The grumpiest possible version of uncle Owen demanded I go on an adventure with him," Annie said.
"The only intern I could take. It was you or Josh. But Megan's best friend over there was Teddy and you were the best choice," Owen said, "it wasn't your skills. I need your name and personality."
"But I had been hearing about saint Megan for years," Annie said, "then I had 20 minutes warning. I was panicking and you tried to take my phone so I couldn't call mama."
"You had an hour and I couldn't have Teddy calling then," Owen said, "I needed family with me. I knew that you would distract Megan."
"She hugged me," Annie said.
"You missed when I called you," Owen teased.
"Bellowed Altman like a dying sea Lion," Annie teased.
"When she heard Altman she thought of Teddy at first and asked then I said Annie and she smiled," Owen replied.
"Remember the years I was a resident before mama was chief," Annie smiled, "I was little Altman or mini Altman."
"Still little," Allison teased, putting her arm on Annie's shoulder.
"Bean," Annie warned.
"Nee it's a fact you're only 5'2"," Allison said.
"We can't all get Mama's tall genes, she saved that for you," Annie replied.
"But you look more like her overall," Allison said.
"You're a good mix of them," Annie agreed.
"Mom, you lived here," Leo asked as they walked up the stairs.
"I did," Teddy said.
"Dad and Annie," Leo asked.
"Seattle and Boston," Teddy answered.
"Did you miss them," Leo asked.
"I did," Teddy said, "Annie most. Dad and I were still just good friends. I know to you and Allie dad and I have always been together but that's not true. Annie was 25 before dad and I were a couple."
"Who came to see you most," Leo asked.
"Annie," Teddy said, "why the guest room at my place was Annie's room. It had white bedding with blue polka dots then."
"My room was blue," Annie added.
"You liked blue," Teddy said.
"I still do," Annie replied.
"Everything used to be blue," Teddy smiled, "the summer you wanted your room to be neon blue."
"You stopped me," Annie said, "and I was 19. Our room still has a lot of blue."
"Your whole house has a lot of blue," Teddy replied. "I don't know if I've been in your room since you moved to your house."
"I think I've only been in yours a few times," Annie said, "before my kids were born."
"You sure you're okay Teds," Owen asked, putting his hand on her back.
"Lots of memories," Teddy acknowledged.
They made their way upstairs and into the two apartments.
Teddy and Owen walked into the master bedroom in her old place.
"You know," Owen said.
"I know," Teddy replied, "Allie."
"Was conceived here," Owen whispered.
"Maybe not this room but this apartment," Teddy agreed, "we don't need to tell her that."
"Annie knows," Teddy replied, "she knows you came and did the math years ago."
"Your mom is all giddy," Asher said as they got organized in the smaller room.
"There's only one bed," Allison said.
"The pack and play thing is in the corner," Asher replied.
"Toddler jail," Allison laughed.
"She can't escape," Asher agreed, "but why is your mom being weird?"
"I don't know so is dad," Allison said, "they weren't together until she was about 14/15 weeks with me though. And she lived here when Annie was in med school."
Having gotten mostly organized in the other unit Annie wandered across the hall leaving Josh and her kids to finish up.
"How's my room bean," Annie asked.
"Your room," Asher asked.
"It was mine for years," Annie said, "well I stayed here and Mama called it mine."
"Nee, do you know why mom and dad are being weird," Allison asked.
"Lots of memories," Annie said, "good and bad. I think she's not sure how to process it all. And she's always wanted to show you and Leo Landshtul."
"What about you," Allison asked.
"For me it was always positive, I was going to Mama's," Annie answered, "we sat in the window seat one Christmas break and did my residency applications. I liked coming here."
In the master bedroom Teddy sat on the edge of the bed and looked out the window.
"Did I ever tell you about the day I knew Allison was coming," Teddy asked.
"No," Owen said, wrapping his arms around her, "what happened?"
"I had just gotten back from Annie's graduation and knew something was off," Teddy said, "I had just watched my daughter graduate medical school. I was alone. My daughter was in Seattle, no best friend, we weren't talking. First I blamed the whirlwind 72 hour trip to Boston, then it was age ya it was young but not out of range. But then I started getting nauseous and tired and I was craving bananas which I only did when I was pregnant with the girls. I actually went to my primary care doctor thinking it was menopause. I didn't believe her. It couldn't be. But you had been here 6 weeks before. It tracked. I don't remember walking home. I just sat here for a couple days staring out that window. Processing. Then the call came that they found Megan and they started routing her straight to Seattle and I booked a flight landing 24 hours after she did. I didn't know how I was going to face you but I had to put eyes on Megan. I knew Bailey would assign Annie as her resident, it was obvious and what I would have done. You liked Annie, she was familiar, Megan knew of her existence, Annie would do her very best out of her love for me."
"I choose Annie because of you," Owen said, "I knew she would tell you if you didn't call me. Teddy why are you telling me this now? Why not 20 years ago?"
"I didn't think about it until I sat here," Teddy said still staring out the window.
"You okay," Owen asked holding her close.
"I am," Teddy said, "just remembering. You?"
"My memories of coming here are happy," Owen said, "the time I came out to teach for a couple weeks and stayed in Annie's room. The time I surprised you."
"If you hadn't come that day we wouldn't have Allie or Leo," Teddy said.
"Everly," Owen said, "I wouldn't have grandkids. You would have 4 still but."
"I don't know," Teddy said, "I think we had to show Annie she could do it all and have it all. She was mimicking me in a way."
"Teddy you have to talk to me," Owen said, "I know being here must bring up memories and feelings."
"Some," Teddy admitted.
"I just need time memories or I need a counslor," Owen asked.
"Time," Teddy said, "Owen I would not have booked Landsthul or this place if I didn't think I could do it. This room brought me the best thing that's ever happened to me. You and our family,"
"Ganma ganpa," Everly yelled.
"Just a minute princess," Teddy called.
"Pop see koo," Everly demanded.
"We don't have any," Owen replied.
"Pop see koo," Everly chanted, "pop see koo, pop see koo."
"No," Asher said, "Everly mommy and I already said no."
"Pop see koo," Everly chanted, "pop see koo, pop see koo."
"No," Asher repeated, "it's nap time. Diaper, story, water and nap."
"No nap," Everly yelled.
"It's nap time," Asher said, "do you want your story first or your water?"
"No nap," Everly repeated.
"Story or water first," Asher replied.
"No nap," Everly repeated.
"Story or water first," Asher replied.
"No nap," Everly repeated.
Allison held out the picture book and the sippy cup, "story or water first?"
"Tory," Everly said.
Asher agreed,"Let's go sit and read your story."
Asher carried Everly into their room while Allison sat with Annie on the window seat.
"When mom lived here what was she like," Allison asked.
"Different," Annie said, "we both were. She was fiercely independent. She put on this I don't need any one act. I got it's just you and I sweetheart. We can do this just us."
"Why did she come here," Allison asked, "it's so far from you. How could she do that to you?"
"I was 21 almost 22," Annie said, "I was older than you are now. I was happy in Boston. I told her I didn't need her close to go be happy here to do her thing that I would be okay. Boston was my adventure I had to do that myself. To be away from any sort of parent to decide who I am."
"But mom," Allison asked.
"She was a powerhouse," Annie said, "she had this I'm totally in charge, my way or the highway thing at work. Her attitude in the OR changed after you were born. She softened when you were born. It was like something she was afraid to show came out when you were born. A tenderness, a gentleness. I would see glimpses of it when it was just her and I or I was sick or hurt but you saw it consistently from the day you were born. It was always there in her actions with me or your dad but you brought it out of her. You showed her it was okay to be soft at work to show love and compassion in a different way. She was always a kind teacher but she changed. You've had a very different mother than I had. Some of it I was 19 the first time I saw mama and Leslie you never really got to know because I didn't want you to. My kids hardly know her. She's barely hanging on and doesn't know her name now but she wasn't affectionate. It was a different time. She did her best and was better when I was younger but we got into our teens Jessica got sick, Leslie got sick and things changed. Mama has changed two so have you in the last couple years. I'm proud of you bean. Being a mom isn't easy. Doing it and going to school, working, starting your family. Allison you impress me. You have this strength I don't know if I've seen before. I am so proud of you."
"Nee," Allison whispered.
"Allie Bean," Annie smiled, "I see it and I admire it. I love you."
"Is there room for one more," Teddy asked seeing Annie curled in one corner of the window seat, the spot she had sat 20 years before and Allison in the middle of the window seat."
"Your spot is free," Annie gestured.
"Spot," Allison asked.
"We always ended up in the same spots," Annie smiled.
"It's been 21 years," Teddy said.
"I know," Annie answered, "mama are you sure your okay?"
"I was your age when I left here," Teddy said.
"Not quite, I'm not 45 till the fall," Annie said.
"I'm glad I went back to Seattle," Teddy said, "had my girls, my kids."
"Grandkids," Annie said.
"I never expected 5 of those," Teddy said, "the last time we sat here sweetheart."
"Allie didn't exist yet," Annie said, "it was reading break my last year of med school. I went from my sub internship in Seattle straight here."
"I thought you would get married one day and have one or two," Teddy said.
"My four wasn't exactly my plan," Annie agreed, "we said 2 or 3. Then we got a surprise and she is the best surprise."
"So are both of you," Teddy smiled at her girls.
"Everly," Allison agreed.
"She's doing well with the travel," Annie said.
"You didn't see the popsicle tantrum," Allison said.
"I did," Annie replied, "but it was minor. She tried you guys shut her down. It was good Bean."
"I didn't see it," Teddy said.
"Her typical no nap popsicle tantrum," Allison shrugged.
"She's learning to use her voice," Annie assured.
"Mom do you miss being here," Allison asked, "it's beautiful."
"It is but it was never really home not the way Seattle is," Teddy said, "I was alone here. Allison I spent a lot of my life alone. I was here dad was in Seattle with Dr Yang then divorced. Annie was in Boston. I was lonely. I liked my work, I liked my friends and dad and I will see a couple I've kept in touch with tomorrow. They've asked to meet my kids and grand kids so we thought that all of you could walk over with us then go do your own thing."
"Would you have stayed here," Annie asked.
"Maybe," Teddy said, "you were a resident. You needed your independence and having Owen and Evelyn in Seattle would have been okay. You went backwards a bit when I got to Seattle. You became very dependent on me to know if things were all right if you could do things that you hadn't been doing in Boston. You acted very child like with me in some ways. And I know that residency and your intern year was a big change but I wonder if it would have eased your transition to not have me at GS."
"I think I needed you," Annie said, "it was when Jessica cut me out of the family and that's more why I clung to you. That first year in Seattle was very uncertain."
"Would you have stayed here with me," Allison asked, "just you and I?"
"No," Teddy said, "completely on my own I might have for a couple more years then tried to go west coast and be in the same time zone as Annie or a couple hour flight away so we could do long weekends as often as possible but she was a resident and supposed to be living on her own in the cottage."
"What if dad," Allison asked.
"If dad and I decided not to be a couple and to stay as friends I would have lived in the cottage with Annie," Teddy said.
"I would have helped mama with you and we would have had our own family," Annie said, "I might have found an apartment nearby and been around as much as mama wanted me to. You would always have had me. I'm glad mama came home and brought you with her. I love having you as my baby sister. I know I haven't always been the big sister you wanted. I'm sorry I haven't always had a lot of time for you."
"But you do," Allison said, "you've always been there. You give up your Friday every week for Ev. I'm going to put her in daycare twice a week in the fall for social skills. There's an adaptive program 2 days a week through the school district she would go Thursday and Friday from 9-12."
"Do you want me to pick up on Friday so you can work and go to school," Annie asked.
"There's daycare she's old enough for and 2 half days we can afford," Allison said, "we've applied for the subsidy. Can you be her emergency contact?"
"I can," Annie agreed, "but I'm always happy to have her. Two is young for preschool."
"It's an adaptive program around her CP," Allison said, "getting her used to being with other kids and teachers. They have aids and group physio, occupational therapy."
"Then what about preschool and prek," Annie asked.
"She'll do preschool half days 3 days a week and 2 full days when she's 3 and prek 3 full days and two half days at 4," Allison said.
"The half days," Annie asked.
"Just academics," Allison explained, "the full days have the therapy added. She needs it."
Teddy smiled listening to her girls.
"Annie," Teddy asked, "are you okay being here?"
"Ya," Annie said, "Mama, my memories here are happy. I was coming to see you. I was always happy to be here and felt loved and safe."
"What would have happened if dad didn't want us," Allison asked.
"I never wondered if he would be in your life," Teddy said, "I knew that he would be that's why I went to Seattle. You needed your dad, I needed him how ever that looked, and you had to know your big sister. That was something I did know that you two would be close. That you would be sisters in your own way. You both do things your own way."
"But I won't measure up," Allison said, "I'll never be as good as Annie."
"No," Teddy said, "because you're Allison. I don't want two Annie's neither does dad. Why would we want two of one when we can have one of each."
"But," Allison said.
"No," Annie said, "you're you. I wanted a sister who could really be a sister not a clone. I know I feel impossibly old to you sometimes but at least I think it's getting better."
"It is," Allison said, "Everly helped."
"Becoming a mom and she's not too much younger than Heather," Annie smiled, "one day they'll be close."
"But Ellie and I," Allison said.
"Will always be friends," Annie smiled, "I think we have to put away who is a sister or a cousin or a niece and just be family. Why do those labels matter."
"I am your mother," Teddy said.
"We know that but with Ellie, Allie, Cat," Annie said, "does it matter. My daughter is older than my cousin does it matter? They love eachother."
"I feel so different from them," Allison said.
"I know," Annie smiled, "college, being engaged, being a mom."
"I'm glad we can sit here together," Teddy said, "I never get both of you like this."
"Nee," Allison asked.
Annie nodded.
Allison wrapped her arms around Teddy and Annie joined them in a group hug.
"My girls," Teddy whispered.
"My girls you mean," Owen chuckled.
"Mom," Ellie yelled from the doorway.
"What is it bug," Annie asked.
"I'm hungry," Ellie said.
"Did you ask your dad," Annie asked.
"He said to ask you," Ellie argued, "you've been here a while."
"Come join us," Annie said holding her arms out to her oldest.
"Heather is hungry two," Ellie said.
"Come here girls," Annie smiled holding her arms out.
Ellie and Heather joined the group in the window seat.
"She won't nap," Asher said carrying Everly out of the room.
"Come here princess," Allison held her arms out.
"Annie did you ever imagine," Teddy asked.
"There was a point in time I could have seen bringing my kids here to see you," Annie said, "but this with you and Allie my girls Everly."
"This is right," Teddy said.
"Grandma," Heather said crawling into Teddy's lap.
"Don't get any ideas mom," Ellie said.
"I wasn't thinking it," Annie said, "but I am going to hug you."
"Okay," Ellie agreed leaning on Annie.
Owen took a picture of them all snuggled into the window seat, he smiled at Teddy who was beaming.
"El can we be friends again," Allison asked.
"When were we not," Ellie asked.
"The last few years," Allison said, "you've been distant."
"Do you want me around," Ellie asked.
"I do," Allison said, "I miss you."
"I miss you two," Ellie agreed.
"Elwe," Everly tried.
"Come here Ev," Ellie said reaching for the toddler.
"She's cranky and won't nap," Allison warned.
"Mommy," Everly said holding tighter to Allison.
"I want one one day," Ellie said.
"One day," Annie said.
"Wait a few years," Allison said, "I love her and my family but it's hard."
"It looks hard," Ellie said, "I didn't mean now. I meant after college."
"That's a good plan," Annie agreed.
"How old were you," Ellie asked.
"29 when you were born then turned 30 a few months later," Annie said.
"21," Teddy replied.
"Grandma what about mom's dad," Ellie asked.
"My boyfriend at the time," Teddy said, "we broke up when I found out. It was for the best."
"Are we doing anything," Leo asked joining them near the window, "there's no room for me there."
"We're going for a hike," Teddy said, "dad and I are around the tower. Who ever wants to come can come."
"If we put her in the carrier," Allison said.
"My crew needs to eat first," Annie said.
"We'll get a snack on the way," Teddy said, "it's not far."
"Pop see koo," Everly yawned.
"Fruit or veggies first," Allison said.
"Lets get organized," Teddy said standing up still holding Heather.
"Mama," Annie said.
"I'll make sure Heather is ready," Teddy said, "come on H you're my buddy."
Walking to the bus that would take them to the tower Josh said, "I can see why you liked coming here."
"It wasn't the place," Annie said, "it was mama."
"You used to get so excited," Josh said, "you would bounce when I drove you to the airport."
"You didn't go see grandma with mom," Henry asked.
"No I would go see my parents or uncle Nathan," Josh replied, "and mom and I weren't a couple yet."
"But you've always been together," Matt argued.
"We've been together a long time," Annie agreed, "what do you think of Germany?"
"It's cool," Matt said, "I like the pretzels."
"Can I have beer," Ellie asked.
"You're old enough here but just a small one," Annie said.
"Annie," Josh said, "what?"
"She's legal here," Annie said, "it's one small one. She's with us and safe. I'd rather her be with us and safe then out with friends."
"I guess," Josh agreed, "one and only with us."
"It's not that good," Allison said, "I hate the taste of beer. I probably won't. I'm waiting for Paris. I want wine."
"That sounds good," Annie said, "cheese and crepes and wine."
"Then Allie and I are going to the Louvre," Teddy said.
"Asher," Allie asked.
"He said no," Teddy replied, "so did Leo. a couple years ago Allie we were planning a trip to do all the big museums. We did the New York ones between semesters that year but we never got to the European ones. So we're doing the Louvre."
"Really," Allison asked.
"You and I for the Louvre as long as you want," Teddy smiled.
"Notre Dam," Asher asked.
"We're all going," Teddy smiled.
"Then mom and I are going up the Eifle Tower," Owen replied.
"When then do that the rest of us are doing Sacre Coure," Annie replied.
"But why the Louvre we did the Victoria and Albert and the British Museum," Allison said.
"You've always wanted it, baby girl," Teddy smiled, "so we're doing it."
"We are," Allison agreed, "it's fun to share it."
"It is," Teddy agreed.
"I liked the Tower of London," Henry said, "the old buildings are really cool. I like buildings."
"The architecture is different from home isn't it," Josh agreed.
"Why is it all rocks and brick," Henry asked.
"Because the buildings here don't need to be as flexible as at home," Josh said, "we have earthquakes at home but they don't here."
"Can we look at more," Henry asked.
"We will," Annie agreed.
"Is there a building museum," Henry asked.
"We'll look it up," Josh said.
"Can we get the lego sets for all the cool buildings," Henry asked.
"Some," Josh agreed, "we don't have the suitcase room to buy all of them."
"Paris," Henry asked.
"We can find one in Paris to go with your Tower of London one," Josh agreed, "I'll build them with you at home."
"I don't want to wait," Henry complained.
"You have to so we don't lose pieces," Josh replied, "when we get home we can build them all."
"Promise," Henry asked.
"I promise," Josh agreed.
The bus reached the start of the hike and Asher took the carrier from Allison so he could hike with their daughter, usually when they went as a family Asher took the little girl and Allison had their backpack.
"I've always wanted to show you this," Teddy beamed, taking Owen's hand.
"Race you," Matt yelled at Annie.
"It's on," Annie smiled, running after her son.
"Mom," Heather whined, "wait for me."
"Matt we should wait," Annie said, "stay together I don't remember the trail, it's been 20 years since I've done it."
"You've been here," Matt asked.
"With grandma," Annie agreed.
The family hiked together, following the trails Teddy remembered and listening to her stories of her years in Germany before going back to the apartment for roast chicken which Annie and Teddy agreed tasted the same as they remembered.