Allison walked into the strange hospital, it felt weird to be going to a hospital that wasn't Grey Sloan, but this was the right move for her as unhappy as her parents were about it they understood. Allison would have to do several rotations at Grey Sloan but for her first one she needed to stand on her own two feet.
"Name," a bored looking resident at the sign in table asked.
"Allison Blouin," Allison replied.
"I don't have a Blouin here," the resident replied.
"I just changed my name," Allison replied, "try my maiden name."
"Which is," the resident asked.
"Altman-Hunt," Allison answered.
"Got it," the resident said looking at the first name on the list, "do you want me to change your last name in our system?"
"Yes please," Allison replied, "I have my updated ID here."
"I believe you," the resident replied, "we call people by their preferred names here anyway. I need your pronouns."
"She / Her," Allison replied.
"Prefix," the resident asked.
"Mrs," Allison replied.
"Okay Mrs. Blouin," the resident said, "I've entered your information. Go to the next table and security will take your picture and print your card."
"Thank you," Allison replied, she moved to the next table and had her ID card made.
Holding it flat on her palm she snapped a picture of it and sent it to her family.
Teddy got the picture and turned to Owen complaining, "why did she have to go there? They had two choices."
"I think she wanted to spread her own wings," Owen replied, "Teddy we got to do it in hospitals where no one knew us."
"But she has an advantage here," Teddy replied, "why wouldn't she use it."
"That's why she didn't," Owen replied, "Teddy you have to let go. You're holding her too tight. I know she's our baby and has been through a lot. Of the first years Allie is probably the most prepared. She's been around it her entire life, she's a medical mom. She knows what she's doing in hospitals."
"I don't like it," Teddy complained.
"It's good for her," Owen said, "Teddy it's time to let go. It's time to let her grow up. We can't hover anymore. She's been through a ton but she's good. She's doing well. Annie got her space, Leo is getting his we have to give Allison hers."
"Am I being too much," Teddy asked, "she's our most at risk. She's going to need the most support to get through it."
"She is ready," Owen replied, "Teddy she will ask when she needs our help. You have to let her grow up."
"But," Teddy asked.
"No," Owen replied, "let her do it."
"She didn't want our names," Teddy whispered.
"Changing her name was hard," Owen said, "but it's what she wants."
"I know," Teddy replied, "but it feels like she doesn't want to be connected to us on paper."
"She knows she is," Owen said, "she did it for Everly. She told us that."
"It will make it easier for her with school for Ev," Teddy acknowledged, "we hyphenated the younger two because I wasn't taking your name and we wanted to give them both names. I'm the last Altman."
"Leo has it in his name," Owen reminded, "Annie's boys, Annie."
"I don't like it one bit," Teddy snapped.
"Teddy it's what she wants," Owen said, "you told her that if it made her happy she should do it."
"What else was I supposed to say," Teddy ranted, "no I want you to keep your name, the one we gave you as a baby. The one your dad and I chose for you."
"No," Owen said, "you couldn't. Teddy, you have to let it go."
"We'll lose her," Teddy whispered.
"No we won't," Owen replied, "Teddy she is right down stairs. Talk to her."
"She's pulling away," Teddy whined.
"She's growing up," Owen said, "Teddy you got too used to running everything as chief. Stand down."
"I'm trying," Teddy said, "but knowing they're both doing their first hospital observations in med school today I feel old. Owen we're nearly 70. I'm not young. I need time to stop. I need our kids to be little again. I want to hold our babies in my arms and sing them to sleep. Even Everly doesn't need that now."
"She's growing up two," Owen agreed, "just breathe Teddy."
"I'm old," Teddy complained, "I have wrinkles, my hair is totally grey."
"Is this about your mortality," Owen asked.
Teddy nodded.
"Teds," Owen sighed, pulling her close, "you're okay. Teddy, it's okay."
"We're old," Teddy replied, "my mom was 56. I'm 68. I'm older than my parents got to be. Owen, it's scary and our kids don't need us and don't want us."
"They do just differently," Owen said, "you didn't have this hard of a time with Annie growing up."
"I did," Teddy said, "but it was different. I was younger."
"Teddy," Owen sighed, "we're not OLD. We're ageing and we're talking about retirement."
Allison followed her assigned resident towards the OR.
"You're going into the OR today," the resident said.
"Yes Dr Marsh," Allison replied.
"Ms Blouin have you ever been in an OR," Dr Marsh asked.
"Many times," Allison replied, "my parents are surgeons so is my big sister it's not totally new."
"Why here then," Dr Marsh asked.
"My parents are at Grey Sloan," Allison said, "I want to do this on my own."
"Who at Grey Sloan," an attending asked.
"Teddy Altman and Owen Hunt," Allison replied.
"I did my fellowship under your dad," the attending said, "you're on trauma today with Dr Marsh can you handle it?"
"I can," Allison beamed, "I'm ready to scrub in."
"Have you scrubbed in before," the attending asked.
"Yes Dr Brown," Allison repeated.
"If your parents are Altman and Hunt," Dr Brown said.
"I'm married," Allison smiled, "I took my husband's name."
"You can't wear rings in the OR or with patients," Dr Brown.
"I know," Allison replied, "I have them on a chain. My husband doesn't live that my rings are on a chain here or in labs but I don't want to risk losing them or hurting a patient."
"How long have you been married," Dr Marsh asked.
"Three months," Allison replied, "but together for 5 years now."
"Highschool sweetheart," Dr Brown asked.
"Yes," Allison smiled, "Asher."
"And he's supportive of you doing this," Dr Marsh asked.
"He is," Allison assured, "he wants me to do this and is really stepping up with our daughter on my long days."
"How old is your daughter," Dr Brown asked.
"Four and a half," Allison answered.
"I did med school with my son," Dr Brown said, "it was a lot as a mom."
"How old was he," Allison asked.
"He was three when I started," Dr Brown replied, "he's 18 now."
"It's different then college," Allison said, "I'm home less. I get less time with Everly."
"Does she understand," Dr Brown asked.
"She knows I'm going to doctor school," Allison said, "she knows her dad and I work a lot."
"It's a lot," Dr Brown said, "are you holding up okay? The mom guilt of it is crushing."
"It is," Allison replied, "My mom is helpful."
"Are you also working," Dr Brown asked.
"No," Allison replied, "my husband is. We live in my parents basement suite which helps."
"So here to get away from your parents," Dr Brown asked.
"Yes," Allison blushed.
"You're making a good choice," Dr Brown said, "stretch yourself Allison."
"I'm trying," Allison agreed, "how did you do it?"
"I reminded myself that I was doing it for him," dr brown said, "to give Mark a better life. I was away from my family for all of it and his dad and I were rocky but we made it work. He's Pre Med now."
"Where," Allison asked.
"Oregon state," Dr Brown replied, "I know they say Ivy League matters but it doesn't. There are good teachers in all programs and it's about what you put into it. Have you thought of a specialty?"
"Orthopedic surgery," Allison answered.
Dr Brown's pager buzzed, "incoming MVC."
"Stand back and watch," Allison smiled.
"Exactly," dr marsh said, "but don't be afraid to share thoughts or ask questions."
Allison enjoyed her day getting to go into the OR on the MVC and a GSW.
"How was it," Teddy asked when they both got home at the same time.
"Differen than Grey Sloan but really cool," Allison beamed, "mom I got to be me. I wasn't your daughter or dads or Annie's sister. I was Allison Blouin. Having my own identity feels good."
"What do you mean," Teddy asked.
"Altman and Hunt carry a lot of weight," Allison replied, "in medicine and I want to build my reputation on my own. I know what your legacy is but I also don't want to have to be you. I want to follow my own path. I want ortho. I want to be recognized for my work, to be seen for me."
"Asher," Teddy asked.
"Is this still about the name change," Allison asked.
"It's a hard adjustment for me," Teddy replied.
"I know I'm opposite of Annie again," Allison groaned, "I took the name of someone who chose me, who loves me. She changed her name to hide she told me that. Annie's name was about running away and hiding. Mine is about being myself. It's not about you or dad it's about me and needing to be myself. I can't live in everyone's shadows forever. I can't always be the one who messed up and got pregnant at 17. I needed to reinvent myself and my reputation. Going to medical school as Blouin and not Altman-Hunt I get to learn and discover. I'm not expected to know everything because of who my parents are. Today I met a trauma surgeon who had her son the fall after she graduated high school. Dr Brown invited me to come back and observe with her more."
"Allison that's incredible a fellow or an attending," Teddy asked.
"Attending," Allison beamed, "we really talked over lunch about medical school with a young kid and the mom guilt and she got it. Dr Brown gets it and understands. And she let me hold a retractor."
"A retractor, your first med school observation," Teddy said, "first of your class?"
"I think so," Allison replied, "mom it was exciting. The culture there is different from Grey Sloan. The surgeons all seemed to be friends. There wasn't the clicks of department heads and others or this department."
"How were residents and med students treated," Teddy asked.
"They wanted us to chime in and participate," Allison replied, "the residents were supportive."
"Why there though," Teddy asked.
"Because it's time for me to try on my own," Allison said, "I can't be in your shadow forever mom. I will be as amazing as you, dad and Annie but I'm going to do it my way and in my own specialty. Mom let me grow up here. I'm ready please?"
"I'm trying baby girl," Teddy replied sitting on the porch swing, "I really am. It's hard for me. My kids not needing me it makes me feel really old."
"Mom it's not that I don't need or want you " Allison gasped, "it's different. I'm telling you I'm ready. Annie and Leo went away for med school across the country and I'm still in Seattle. I get that but UW was my choice. I made an adult choice for my daughter and my husband. I can do my own surgical observations, I can find my own clinics to observe in. Mom can you stop micro managing my school stuff?"
"I can," Teddy agreed, "the other stuff?"
"You haven't micro managed our meals or house work in a couple years," Allison replied, "mom we're independent 95% of the time."
"I know you are," Teddy sighed, "I don't have to like it though."
"You tell me all the time that our job is to make Ev as independent as possible," Allison said, "mom you did it. I'm more independent than Leo or my friends . You succeeded."
"We did," Teddy agreed.
"Mom can you stop micro managing," Allison asked, "treat my school stuff like you do Leo's."
"I will," Teddy said, "but dad took Ev to swimming so you and I have time for tea and a cookie and you're going to tell me everything about today."
"Can I throw dinner in the instant pot while you boil the kettle," Allison asked.
"What are you making," Teddy asked.
"Turkey, white bean and corn chilli," Allison replied, "easy and gives us all a couple lunches."
"Go throw it in," Teddy replied, "I'll warm the cookies in the toaster oven. Chocolate peanut butter or raspberry shortbread?"
"Chocolate peanut butter," Allison answered.
Allison ran down and threw the dinner ingredients in the instant pot before going up to see Teddy.
"Good day," Teddy asked handing Allison her tea.
"Amazing," Allison gushed before telling Teddy everything that happened, "we were in the GSW surgery and they were doing the exlap open and Daisy one of the girls in my cohort almost threw up in the body cavity. She was gagging and coughing and it was horrible! Why even look if that happens to you. She's vomited twice in gross anatomy working rona cadaver."
"There's always one," Teddy asked, "did anyone faint?"
"Marcus," Allison replied, "we were in the pit. It was a dog bite and he fainted. Light weight."
Teddy laughed, "you've had a lot of exposure it changes your perspective."
"And as a medical mom," Allison replied, "I got to see part of a shunt insertion in the gallery. To see what they did to Ev as a baby. It wasn't as mean as I thought it was."
"Not at all," Teddy replied, "gentler than your ex lap today. What did they do for the MVC?"
"They cracked his chest and drained a cardiac tamponade," Allison said, "it was really bloody."
"Those always are," Teddy agreed.
"But it was fun and I got to see them repair the pericardium," Allison smiled.
"That was a good day," Teddy agreed.
"Mommy," everly yelled coming in the door.
"Hi princess," Allison called rushing to her daughter, "how was your day?"
"Grandpa and I had fries after school," everly smiled.
"I forgot her after school snack," Owen said, "so we shared some fries and the burger place.l
"Grandpa always forgets your snack and takes you for a treat," Allison smiled.
"Grandpas rights," Owen chuckled, "you need to call the pool."
"Why," Allison asked.
"Ev have you showed your mommy what you got today," Owen asked.
"Show me," Allison asked.
"I passed," Everly said.
"You're going to level 4," Allison said, "you finished level three. Great job princess!"
"I'm a crocidilly," Everly said.
"Yes next week you'll go with the crocodile group," Allison beamed.
"She's only 4," Teddy said.
"And it takes her a couple tries to do a level," Allison said, "Ev what do crocodiles do?"
"Chomp," Everly yelled.
"Yes they chomp," Allison agreed, "it's almost dinner time. Can you help me make a salad?"
"Crocidilly," Every asked.
"Chomp your way downstairs," Allison smiled.
"I haven't hear how today went," Owen said.
"After dinner," Allison promised, "when Ev is in bed. But I met an amazing trauma surgeon Dr Brown, she was your student and did it all on her own with her son."
"Alice Brown," Owen asked.
"Yes," Allison confirmed.
"She was good," Owen said, "she could be a good mentor for you."
"I work with her again next week," Allison replied.
"Good," Owen said, "get to know her. She was good. She knew her stuff, compassionate, hard worker and knew how to set boundaries on her time."
"I need to do that," Allison said, "right now though my time belongs to Everly. We need to do her counting game for school, finish dinner and play for a bit before her bath and story."
"Have fun," Owen replied, "come tell me later."
"I will," Allison said.
"See you later munchkin," Owen said as Allison walked down stairs. Allison found Everly already in the fridge trying to take out the vegetables for salad and putting them in the basket on her at home walker.
"What are you doing," Allison asked.
"I'm chomping the salad," Everly said.
"We can do it together," Allison agreed, "how many vegetables do you have?"
Everly counted touching each veggie in the basket, "six."
"How many more do you need to make ten," Allison asked as she grabbed the bag of spring mix from a higher shelf.
"3," Everly guessed.
"Three would be nine," Allison said, "how many more for ten."
"Three," Everly said, "we have 7."
"How do we have seven," Allison replied, "you have six in your basket."
"Seven," Everly pointed to the container in Allison's hand.
"Good thinking," Allison smiled, "you're right we do need three more."
"Carrots," Everly said grabbing them from the drawer.
"Two more," Allison prompted, "you have peas, radishes, celery, cucumber, dressing, tomatoes."
"Pepps," Everly said.
"Get the peppers," Allison said.
Everly put the peppers in her basket.
"One more," Allison said.
"Cheese," Everly said.
"Get the cheese," Allison agreed smiling as Everly put the bag of cheese in the basket and then walked over to the table.
"Good job using your basket on your own," Allison praised.
"Kiki," Everly asked.
"When we make the salad you can go get your doll," Allison agreed.
"Kiki needs a basket," Everly said.
"I'll look for one at the dollar store this weekend," Allison promised.
Asher came in as Everly sat in her chair.
"Smells good," Asher commented.
"Chilli, salad and tortilla chips," ALlison replied.
"Good I'm cold," Asher said.
"How was your day," Allison asked.
"Freezing," Asher replied, "it's hovering close to 32."
"It is," Allison replied.
"How was the new hospital," Asher asked.
"Amazing," Allison replied, "I'll tell you more once she's in bed. What I did with patients is not for little ears. I was in the OR a lot of it."
"Good," Asher said, "and half your school stuff right now will traumatise Everly."
"I saw a shunt insertion," Allison replied, "it's not as violent as I pictured."
"Good," Asher said, "hers gets checked soon."
"Two weeks," Allison replied, "thanksgiving break."
"Okay," Asher agreed, "which day?"
"The Tuesday," Allison replied as she dished up her dinner, "eat then shower Ash."
"Daddy is dirty," Everly said.
"I know it was a muddy day," Asher replied, "how was school princess?"
"Good," Everly said, "I'm a crocodilly."
"She moved up at swimming," Allison said.
"Yes," Asher cheered, giving Everly a high five.
After dinner Allison walked upstairs to tell Owen about her day while Asher cleaned the kitchen and hung out with Everly for a few minutes.
"Allison it's good you held the retractor today," Owen praised, "I don't usually let first year med students do that. She thought you were ready."
"I know you two disagree but Seattle Presbyterian is the right place for me to do this," Allison said.
"If you're happy with it then do it," Owen replied.
"I am," Allison answered.
"You gave me a lot to think about earlier," Teddy said, "but I think your right. Allie you need to spread your own wings right now. At times it was unfair to Annie to have me as her attending and chief when she was training. I think long term for you this is the best plan. It might change as you get closer to residency but for now it is the right idea."
"And who knows where other rotations will take me," Allison said.
"Exactly," Owen replied, "you will come in to GRey Sloan at some point but now might not be the best time. You can continue coming with mom and I like you have been but for your learning."
"It's time," Teddy agreed.
"So no more micromanaging," Allison asked.
"As long as you are doing well then no," Teddy agreed, "but I see you start to lose control of your mental health. I will guide more. Allie, that's being your mom. I wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't look out for that."
"I know," Allison replied, "It's almost bedtime and I need to get Ev ready then study."
"Don't forget Asher," Teddy reminded.
"I never do," Allison smiled.