Birthday Bash 2020

Prompt 3: Bloopers

Or

Fisticuffs Part Three

xxXxx

Louise sighed as she held up one arm so that Yuki could finish safety-pinning the new rip. "This can't go on. We've got to get ourselves a tailor."

Lune snorted from his place next to a mirror as he applied his own stage makeup. "Right, because we could definitely use another scandal because the newbie has trouble remembering where they're allowed to lay fingers on performers. It's less stress in the long run, trust me."

Louise gave an angry humph as she lowered her right arm carefully. "I'll take that to mean that your safety pins haven't been opening themselves in the middle of a gesture. I'm an actress, not a pin cushion!"

"I really am doing the best I can," Yuki insisted while closing the last pin. "At least I'm not using the staple gun anymore."

Baron shuddered as he pulled uncomfortably on his green doublet that was just a shade too tight across the shoulders. "Who knows? Maybe if we do well enough, Lune's father will open up the wardrobe budget just a little more for the next play."

"That will take a miracle," Lune muttered as he furiously blew on the glue that was supposed to hold the plumed feather in place on his hat. "But let's just focus on getting through tonight. It's the last performance before Dad gets back."

Haku nodded while trying to finish zipping Muta into his Tybalt costume. "It's been pretty smooth so far, so-"

"EH! Don't finish that sentence!" Toto managed to cut off their friar before heading out to set the mood with his lute. "We've got Birthday Girl to worry about tonight, remember?"

Baron did what he could to restrain a groan but nodded. "Mayhap we'll get lucky and she'll understand it's only a joke in the play."

"I'll run interference if she tries what happened two nights ago," Louise promised while brushing the slight layer of wood shavings from the back of his doublet from when he was repairing the scenery just moments before audience members started arriving.

Her ex-boyfriend turned enough to give her a grateful smile that had once set her heart on fire. "Thank you, Louise. I'm grateful we were able to stay friends."

"Me too," she agreed with only a tiny pang that it hadn't worked out. But that didn't stop her from giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder. "If nothing else, we can still run quality checks for future dates on each other."

Baron gave a sigh and a scoff. "It's going to take someone extraordinary to get my attention after the last mistakes I tried to date."

"Which is why you should have introduced me to them first," she tried to gently nag, but it was plain that he wasn't in the mood to joke about it. She took in a deep breath and patted one of his shoulders. "Just you wait, Baron. The right one will show up when the time is right."

He scoffed again while adding an eyeroll to express his disbelief. "Sure. I'll pull a Romeo, look at some girl, and forget that anyone else exists. This is real life, Louise, not something that can be so conveniently scripted."

"All right, final notes before performance," Lune tried to call out without alerting their guests on the other side of the heavy curtain. "We've had a-" he cut himself off to knock his fist against the wood table he had been intentionally standing close to, "a very bad run with this show, and we want to keep it up, right?"

"Definitely," Ponyo couldn't resist calling out.

"The worst," Pazu agreed with an almost desperate smile.

"Good-I mean bad," Lune hastily corrected himself. "In fact, we want to do so bad that Dad gives up and lets us run this place to the ground."

"Here, here!" Yuki rooted, since it wasn't exactly a secret that his father was the only thing she didn't like about her boyfriend.

"Let's not forget the creative license we'll have if we get a lot of positive reviews tonight," Lune reminded them while pointing at the little poster he had hung on the end of the costume rack as bait for a good performance. "Won't it be horrible if we finally got the chance to do something not by Shakespeare?"

"Amen to that," Baron muttered loud enough to make several of the actors laugh tiredly.

"So. As soon as we get word that our Rosaline has arrived and I'm given the signal, we can start migrating to the front doors for the opening. No problem."

Lune soon learned that he shouldn't have said that. Barely two minutes into the beginning chant, Muta had to go and trip over that chair. It completely ruined the mood and seemed to foreshadow how this night was going to go.

Louise hoped not, but something deep within her seemed to say that the trouble wasn't over yet. She was very careful in how she placed herself on the stage, how she addressed Pazu like the strict father she was grateful not to have in real life, and tried not to look like she was doing the same for the other actors until her first scene was over.

Not that it really stopped her from wishing that they could have simplified the play a bit so that she didn't feel like they needed a translator with a microphone to explain what was going on.

'Then again, this play could probably be over in a half hour or less if they let us get to the point instead of taking ten minutes to say 'hey, she's hot',' she tried not to grumble in her mind as she carefully leaned against the wall next to the stage so that the pins holding the back of her dress directly to her shape wouldn't stab her a thousand times. 'Everybody knows how this story ends. It's no wonder that everyone can't wait to try something a little more modern.'

And maybe a little less creepy. If Baron had talked about any girl in real life the way he was being forced to talk about Rosaline right now, Louise would never have agreed to that first date last year.

She was nodding her head along to the rhythm of the lines as if they were song lyrics. The beat wasn't all that different, and it helped a little to pass the time.

Then the beat ended. Her summer blue eyes snapped open, realizing that Baron had missed his line. Why? He was always so professional! She tilted herself around the corner just enough to see what had distracted him.

Her mouth fell open in delighted shock.

Life wasn't a script, her friend was right enough about that. If life were anything so predictable, he would have taken a single look at Birthday Girl and fallen head over heels in love before he knew what was happening.

But he was staring at Birthday Girl's friend instead. It was like he had never seen a young lady before, he couldn't take his eyes off her!

And the girl! Louise bit her lower lip to keep from squealing at how adorable she was!

Her large brown eyes almost seemed as big as dinner plates as she seemed to shrink both down in her seat and in the opposite direction of an obviously smitten Baron; a stark contrast to most girls that he had interacted with before this night. Everything about this girl, from the way she wore her chocolate brown hair to the simple but stunning dress of varying green hues spoke louder than words that she was a sweet, gentle soul.

She was probably a teenager, but that was something most people recovered from with time.

"Um, crow?" Natori tried to remind Baron with an elbow nudge, but he could have been a fly for all the attention his friend was giving him.

Even the way her mother and Birthday Girl were staring between the young lady and Baron with the same delighted shock she felt said that this was a girl that would treat Baron right. Once she got over her shyness, at least.

"What's going on out there?" Yuki hissed as Louise turned away from the stage to slap one hand over her mouth to hold in the slightly malicious giggles threatening to bubble out.

"Karma," Louise nearly swooned with joy, which confused everyone that couldn't gather at the edge of the stage to see what was happening.

"… She doth teach the torches to burn bright!" Baron said with complete appreciation, and for the first time, complete sincerity.

The poor girl blushed even harder at his words but managed to point a finger at her friend with the golden napkin. "Not me! Her!" she tried to remind him through a hushed hiss, but Louise could still hear her.

As well as Birthday Girl's gleeful response.

"She doesn't have a boyfriend."

"Go for it!" another voice encouraged, almost certainly the mother, making Louise beam even harder.

Birthday Girl wasn't even the smallest bit upset that the intensely attractive lead was paying attention to her friend instead of herself. There was true friendship and love at that table.

Natori, unfortunately more concerned with the fake love story than with the real one unfolding right in front of him, grabbed Baron by the arm to repeat his last lines much louder and higher than before to remind their friend that he had a duty.

It was glorious to watch Baron get indignant at the unknown girl being called a 'crow'! He actually used some of the self-defense he regularly taught freshmen to double Natori over on himself to defend the new Rosaline.

Who was adorably trying to dive underneath the table while her friend kept a death grip on her arm with the biggest, evilest smirk her face could manage.

Louise made a mental note to make friends with Birthday Girl.

Natori was able to steer the scene back on course, and nearly had to drag the male lead behind the side curtain so he wouldn't stare at the girl anymore.

"Hey? Anybody home?" Muta asked, forcing himself to keep his voice low as he waved his big hand in front of that oblivious face.

"Could you have picked a worse time to start ogling a girl?" Natori hissed, but Louise forcefully grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her.

"Well?" she smirked expectantly.

"You were right and I was wrong," he said without the slightest hint of the usual annoyance, still smiling like an idiot. "Again. One of these days I will learn to take you at your word."

Lune looked so torn between happy for his friend but angry at the timing, but he still led Baron a bit deeper into the backstage to try talking sense into him for at least the rest of the performance.

"He was ogling a girl?" Toto asked with surprise.

Louise nodded with a gigantic smile on her face. "Birthday Girl's friend. The one in the eye-catching green dress." 'I'll have to ask her where she got that dress from later, and if they have it in red.'

Unable to hold in his curiosity, Muta peeled just enough of the curtain aside to poke his face through. There was too much general noise from the audience to pick out Rosaline's voice or Birthday Girl's.

Muta was just able to be seen tilting his head to the side before pulling back with a noncaring shrug. "She's not half-bad."

"FIGHT ME, PEASANT!" Baron roared at the top of his lungs, making an impressive lunge from his place with a shocked Lune to pounce on Muta for an uncharacteristic brawl.

Yuki was surprisingly quick about grabbing Louise and yanking her out of the way when several of the other actors tried to pull Baron off, but only wound up getting dragged into the fight.

Baron may have ordinarily been one of the most level-headed actors the theatre had, but he had never bothered to hide that he was highly trained in more than one style of fighting.

As such, his rage was the only ally he required to hold his own against the swarm of panicked actors trying to subdue him.

It had been one of the things that had initially attracted Louise to him like a flame. She could feel her face almost split from the wide grin as Lune tried to remind the lead that his kills needed to be fake, and later in the play.

"You're being pretty calm about this," Yuki noted in a gentle tone that was her way of saying 'I think you're hurt right now.'

Louise gave her a giant grin and hug, even if that accidentally opened some both of their safety pins to poke them along makeshift seams. "I am his ex-girlfriend. Not his ex-friend."

With that, she marched into the fray and grabbed her friend by the ear harshly as he was preparing to throw Haku against Muta, who had managed to get up and try crawling away. "She can hear all this," she hissed into his ear, making him stop short. "Is this really the first impression you want to give your Rosaline?"

He flushed at the thought before hurriedly setting Haku back on his feet. "M-My apologies," the smitten man stuttered, raising one hand to his temple as if shaking off a sleep. "I… that was uncalled for."

"You're telling me," Muta wheezed as he used a table to get back to his feet and nursing his ribs painfully. "Was she really-"

Toto did not waste the opportunity to slap his large friend across the mouth. "Do not set him off again," the darker man growled while giving Baron a fearful look. "Let's just get through this performance without any more unscheduled brawls, okay?"

"… yes," Baron agreed while smiling apologetically at all the friends he had injured. "Any lasting wounds?"

Everyone began sharing glances with each other, silently gauging each other and themselves before one by one turning to Lune and nodding firmly.

They were game for the rest of the night.

"But really, Baron. Just try to keep a lid on yourself until after the performance," Lune begged as he began directing people for the 'getting the party started' bit.

Baron suddenly froze before taking Louise by the elbow and guiding her to behind a costume rack. "I'm not sure I can do the rest of it," he confessed shamefully.

"The rest of- Baron! We're depending on you!" she protested while grabbing the sides of his head. "Howl twisted his ankle showing off again, he can't be an understudy tonight!"

"I know, I feel horribly, but…" he hung his golden head in shame. "I've voiced my opinion of Romeo and Juliet many times since casting. It's bad enough acting like that without her watching, but… Louise, I just can't!"

Of course she knew. As awkward as playing her ex's flame was, no one could deny they had good stage chemistry. They had already worked out between them a more acceptable way to play Romeo and Juliet's more intimate moments, but that didn't seem to be enough anymore.

Louise closed her sapphire eyes and counted to ten. "Baron, do you trust me?"

He gave her an agonized look.

"Forget that, just trust me. I'll arrange things so you can see her past me. Just pretend she's the one talking instead of me. We can make this work."

Baron still looked sick to his stomach, but at least he was thinking it over.

"It will be more chances to stare at her," Louise offered as a trump card.

"… We'll try it," he agreed with a sigh. "I don't see how it will work for the balcony scene, but it will take care of things for now."

"Let me worry about how to handle that part," she ordered him, taking a small black mask from Ponyo who was offering one from the fistful she was giving the appropriate actors. She even tied the mask in place for him since she could see his hands were shaking.

"Just behave for tonight," Louise begged him with a desperate smile. "I'll make sure Rosaline knows you're the best kind of boyfriend before she leaves."

He gave her a grateful look and a deep hug.

"Ow!" they both yelped from the pins.

ooOoo

Rosaline did not appreciate their strategy at all. She had planted her face against the red tablecloth in complete mortification for the true 'ne'er seen true beauty' speech Baron was pretending to give Louise even though his adoring eyes seldom left the new girl.

The blonde college student couldn't resist the urge to pat Rosaline's soft brown hair once it was done, and deliver a sly wink to the other occupants of the table before leaving with Ashitaka to waltz between the tables again.

"Sure hope all this doesn't drive her off," he muttered under his breath as he respectfully twirled her around. "She might just bolt after the show, you know."

"My extra custard should buy some time to put in a good word," Louise whispered back, since that had been her second reason for giving up the treat.

Not that she was worried about missing out on the treat. It was her family's recipe, after all, and she had been the one teaching the cooks how to make it properly the first morning of this production.

After that, Louise forced herself to think of the flowery phrases and making absolutely certain to keep herself between Baron and the true object of his affections to help with the illusion.

It worked fairly well until Romeo was supposed to steal a kiss from Juliet. His green eyes suddenly turned large and panicked as they darted between Louise and Rosaline.

Oh, this was adorable! Since they were actors, they had needed to at least occasionally do a 'stage kiss', but now he was so in love, he just couldn't do it!

Smirking mischievously at Baron, Louise offered him her forehead instead. He kissed it gratefully and carried on, though there was a murmur of discontent from the tables furthest away from Rosaline's.

It was so hard to stay in character when she thought about how obvious his crush on Rosaline was, that at least some of the tables were fine with the main leads altering some ultimately meaningless points that furthered the fictional relationship.

Louise kept circulating as Baron loudly found out that she was a Capulet, and mournfully began his exit to the backstage.

But. That lovesick idiot. Had to go and sneak that extra look at his crush when he should have been paying attention where he was walking.

"Look out-" Rosaline tried to warn, but it was already too late.

Baron tripped on a chair and managed to give his green doublet a long and nasty rip along one sleeve.

"Come hither, Nurse!" Louise called to Yuki while trying to keep the panic out of her voice, nearly running to her friend to try distracting the audience. "What is yond gentleman?"

"The son and heir of old Tiberio!" Yuki quickly answered while running up to the lead and gasping a little from the excursion.

"What's he that now is going out of door?" Louise questioned while suppressing the urge to point at Baron.

But that didn't stop her from seeing Rosaline's mother get up from her seat, grab her daughter, and start marching with purpose to the same door that Baron had hurriedly escaped to the backstage through.

Toto was running interference, but she couldn't hear a thing from over here!

"Marry, that. I think be young Petruchio," Yuki played along, also keeping her sapphire eyes on the trio in the corner.

Louise had noticed that Rosaline's mother had some fabric in her hands during the prologue, but hadn't thought anything of it until she saw the woman shove her bag into her daughter's arms and then push her at Toto with a wide smirk.

No. This would be too big of a miracle.

"What's he that follows here, that would not dance?" Louise asked while holding Yuki's hands and unable to keep her eyes off a discussion that was too soft and distant for her to hear.

Toto seemed surprised, but it didn't take long before he was giving Rosaline the classic 'begging' posture.

"I know not," Yuki confessed, almost on autopilot since she also couldn't take her eyes off the exchange and -yes!

Toto was now leading Rosaline to the backstage! She must be a seamstress if she was getting access this easily! The female lead couldn't wait to beg the girl to help with her own dress when there was a long enough break between her scenes!

"Go ask his name," Louise urged, making Yuki rush to Pazu to make pretend inquiries as they all began grinning happily at the obvious hints that they might be getting a new tailor, after all!

Louise was delighted when she wasn't the only one that noticed how smoothly everything went as soon as Rosaline set foot backstage.