Sweet Part Two
Bushida Nakano wished she had the option to shut the world down. Not because she was a super villain or anything like that, but…
It just felt wrong. How dare the sun shine so warmly? How dare the birds sing, or children laugh and play like the world was still turning?
How dare her body still demand food or rest. Not that her uneasy dreams qualified as 'rest', but it all seemed so unfair that she couldn't take out a remote and press 'pause' on life itself until she felt ready to face it again.
Lily seemed to feel the same way. Nakano wasn't sure if the cat understood any of the talk happening around her, because other than visits to the food bowl and litter box, she was perched at the window seat overlooking the street, her unblinking eyes forever on the lookout for her master.
"I want him back, too," Nakano sighed while rubbing the cat's ears, which flicked in acknowledgement of her last human, but otherwise remained motionless as she kept staring at the street.
Although she didn't really want to, Nakano made sure she had everything she needed for a grocery run. Her son's friends had offered to do it for her, but last time they'd been on a run for her, work had demanded they leave shopping for another time.
Her legs protested a bit since she hadn't done much walking in over a week, but she grit her teeth and kept walking anyway. 'If just this is enough to make me tired, I've got more problems than I thought.'
Even this wasn't the same. It felt wrong, putting back his favorite chips after grabbing them on reflex. Reminding herself that she can enjoy any meal she wanted, now that she'd be eating alone.
… Nakano did what she had to in order to focus on the overhead music, since the mere thought of eating alone again seemed to drain her strength and resolve. She somehow wound up with the same amount of food as always by the time she left the store, but at least it was easier for her to understand why this part was hard.
He was normally with her when work or school allowed him. He'd insist on carrying everything for her, even when she protested that it would be fine to let her carry half.
Without warning, two of the plastic bags ripped open from the bottom halfway home, spilling her purchases all over the sidewalk, grass, and a little into the edge of the street.
Nakano couldn't take it anymore! She dropped all the bags to bury her face in her hands and sob. 'Why, why couldn't he be here with me?! I can't carry all of this with ripped bags!' She knew it was a little thing, but she couldn't help feeling helpless without him.
"Let me help, Oku-san," an unfamiliar voice respectfully begged her, making the woman slightly move her fingers away from her tearing eyes as she turned around.
A teenage girl already had a homemade shopping bag open, and she was hurriedly putting Nakano's groceries inside before opening the second bag.
She sighed tiredly as the girl timed stepping onto the side of the road to get the apple and can of olives without getting hit but waited for the child to be on the sidewalk again before speaking a bit hoarsely. "If you're doing this for the sake of my son, I'm afraid you're too late."
"I don't see your son," she answered casually, gathering up the last of the loose purchases before standing up. She looked like she was going to say more, but then nearly jumped when she got a good look at the older woman's face. "Bushida-san?!"
"So you do know my son," Nakano couldn't resist being a little smug while saying. But it did feel nice that she was willing to help when she didn't know about 'the golden prize'.
"W-well, in a roundabout way," the girl nearly babbled, almost looking spooked as she stared at the woman. But then she took in a deep breath. "I attended the funeral, at least. That's why I recognize you. I'm very sorry, he sounded like a great man."
"Thank you," Nakano returned with the dignity she could, since her face was still wet with tears and her breath was still a little haggard from just one bad thing too many.
The young lady looked over how much the woman was carrying before her brown eyes gained a bit of steel. "Bushida-san, would you like help getting all this home? You don't even have to let me come inside your place; I can wait outside since I need these shopping bags and you look very overwhelmed right now."
Nakano knew she should say no, she'd been saying no since the last thing she wanted to become was a burden.
But she needed this. She hated herself for it, but she needed this.
"If you don't mind, my house isn't too much farther," Nakano answered with a weak smile as she gathered up the bags that hadn't ripped. "What is your name, my dear?"
"Yoshioka Haru, Bushida-san," the girl introduced with a small bow. While she was bowed over, her hand suddenly shot out and balanced another of Nakano's bags from the bottom. "This one's about to give out too, why don't we lighten the load a bit?"
"How strong are your bags?" Nakano asked as the girl quickly transferred more of the weight to her own arms.
"Plenty strong. My mom's a quilter that doesn't like grocery runs, so she made sure these can hold a lot of weight," Haru assured her with a smile.
… She had a nice smile. Nakano could have likened it to a warm cup of tea on a cool night. Without thinking, she was able to smile a bit in return.
She started walking down the sidewalk once the girl was certain there wouldn't be another spill. "So. How do you know my son?" she couldn't resist asking since this young lady was acting more considerate than a lot of the members of her son's unofficial fan club.
Haru blinked and blushed lightly as she walked by the older woman's side. "I didn't even know what he looked like until the funeral. I just read what happened in the local news app and decided if he was going to die a hero's death, he deserved a hero's sendoff. Sorry if that sounds corny."
Nakano smiled even more warmly than before. "It's a better reason than a lot of women who were there. Thank heaven security was dealing with them so I didn't have to."
Haru winced. "It's sad that I don't have to ask who you're talking about. It's too bad the place didn't have a soundproof room to throw them in."
Nakano laughed. "Toto said the same thing."
"Toto?" Haru asked with confusion.
"The slimmer man that was standing with me. The big one, Muta, wanted to throw all of them out for making such a racket."
"I'd have cheered him on," Haru grumbled while looking down at the sidewalk. "They could have shown more respect by getting all that out of their system before or after the funeral."
"Indeed!" Nakano agreed angrily. "I just wanted to say goodbye, but if the boys had gotten another call at the funeral, we wouldn't have noticed because of them!"
"They reminded me of the professional mourners Egypt had back in the day," Haru mused with a dark look. "The ones literally paid by the grieving family to wail and tear their hair and make a big spectacle of themselves to show everyone how beloved the departed was. All show and no substance. If you didn't look so annoyed at them, I'd have had suspicions."
Nakano blinked. "Why does it not shock me that used to be an occupation?" she growled to herself. "If past lives exist, I bet all of them were just that. Thank heaven Hikaru didn't waste his time on anyone that finds all that appropriate behavior."
"A-men!" Haru agreed, though she looked sad. "It's still a shame. I really liked the stories about your son."
Nakano gave her a weaker smile than before. "Thank you." She wanted to say more, but both her mind and lips couldn't seem to think of anything else to say.
Haru smiled and nodded like she understood, still keeping perfect pace with the woman.
It was strange, but surprisingly pleasant that Nakano didn't feel as tired as she did when she left the house. The silence between them was peaceful even though the world around them was as loud as ever.
It almost felt too soon when Nakano was crossing the gate into her home.
"Would you like me to wait out here?" Haru asked.
"Nonsense, please come in," the woman assured her over one shoulder. "You don't strike me as the type that will make me prove I can lay assailants on their back."
Haru blinked and laughed before following. "Well, you strike me as someone that has too much on her plate to wish me any harm, so there."
Nakano couldn't resist a small laugh of her own, but it died in her throat after unlocking the door and pushing it open.
The second the door was wide enough, a white blur shot out from between her ankles. The older woman opened her mouth to beg the girl to catch the runaway cat, but before she could, the feline was already curling around the girl's ankles and purring.
Nakano gaped. Lily never took to outsiders. It was a natural consequence for how many girls tried to gain her affection to score her master's.
"Hello, Beautiful," Haru cooed, leaning down and setting one of the bags aside so she could run her hand over the luxurious white fur. "Aren't you just the friendliest little thing?"
Lily could barely meow between her constant purrs, leaning into the girl's touch happily. After a while, she moved away from Haru's ankles enough to pounce onto her shoulders and comfortably stretch herself over like a living scarf.
Exactly the way she had done with Hikaru.
"Oh-okay, I guess we're doing this," Haru laughed, nuzzling the cat back before taking back the bag and standing up carefully so that she wouldn't dislodge her new fashion accessory. "At least she's not running away, right?"
"Right," Nakano agreed numbly as her heart pounded. 'Just who is this girl?' She tried to shake it off while entering her home. 'What would Hikaru have done if he'd seen his picky cat treating some girl like his…'
Like his equal.
A very logical answer almost immediately slammed into her brain, making her stop with horror.
"Is everything all right, Bushida-san?" Haru asked worriedly as Lily's loud purr threatened to drown her out.
No. If what Nakano suspected was true, then this was the worst-timed meeting possible. She turned and looked at the girl again, knowing that it was irrational to already imagine her son standing next to a girl she had just met.
What hurt the most was how easily she could see her late son proudly introducing Haru as his girlfriend, and just how few objections Nakano would have had over the arrangement.