A/N: I know this series has been super depressing, but I thought of an alternative that was a bit more cheerful than the other ones, and I decided to do it.
Pure Hands Part Six
To the Baron von Gikkingen-
Very well, you win. I'm sure you're delighted that after nearing a year of no contact, plus the assurance that you would rather kill a giant, slaughter a dragon, win against an immortal knight, solve a deadly riddle and defeat a warlock than be in the same room as me, I finally understand that you meant what you said the one and only time you spoke to me.
I have to say that I'm very disappointed with you. The king painted a very different picture of what being your wife would be like, and even if you weren't initially aware, I'm sure someone would have mentioned it to you by now that I can't visit my cousin without you or a royal summons, and the queen has a lot on her mind and body at the moment. I deliberately held back from giving you a note on the matter because I didn't want to give you a reason to think that I'm a nag. If that weren't bad enough, you won't even let me do the duties a baroness is meant to do, though I hope whoever you have doing my job is at least competent.
I could raise a ruckus, you know. The idea of you being humiliated as badly as I've been lights a warm, petty fire in my soul, but I think it would be better to let you keep demonstrating that this marriage failed from your lack of effort, not mine. The king is not likely to grant a divorce since our marriage is what binds you to his service, and you might fight me on this or running away at least until your lady love is widowed since having a place to call home while in exile must be a comfort.
I think, that in exchange for accepting the fact that I will not be a proper wife or friend to my husband until you either run back to Yrael or get yourself killed with another suicide mission and I'm given to another man, I deserve a consolation prize of my choosing.
I don't know when you'll be back from fighting the warlock, but if I have not returned by the time you have, don't expect me to return alone. I wish to take a ward from the orphanage in the Iroh duchy. I can't make a guarantee about age or sex, but since you have not seen fit to give me a baby to love and nurture, I will be both mother and father to whichever child I make a genuine connection with. You will have no obligation to my ward in any fashion. If Hiromi were not allergic to cats and dogs, I could have been pacified with a pet, but she has no complaints against children since she keeps trying to talk me into slipping into your chambers around midnight when you're home. Everybody else in the baronetcy has the same opinion, so it will be nice to have someone to talk to that has a wider range of interests.
My monthly allowance will more than cover everything I will need for a child of my own, so this letter is barely more than a courtesy. Even if you don't approve, you can be grateful that I'm not using the more traditional route of taking a lover to get what I want, since I want to actually see my child grow instead of lose my head over the insignificant details. Never mind that's even 'if' I manage to find someone unafraid of offending you out of principle.
I do not expect a response.
Regards,
Haru
She stared at her letter with a frown. "That should do it," she decided before folding the thick paper and spilling some wax on the exposed edge.
Hiromi watched nervously as Haru used her mother's ring to press the seal. "Y-you haven't really said where you're going, my lady."
"Give the baron this letter when he returns," Haru ordered while handing over the folded paper and buckling a heavy purse to her belt. "I explain in it where I'm going, and there's a fair chance that I'll be back before him anyway." Haru stood up from her chair and adjusted her traveler's cloak. "While I'm gone, make sure the room right next to mine is cleaned and ready for an important guest that may be staying for a while."
"Oh? Who are you bringing back?" Hiromi couldn't resist asking, her eyes alight at the idea of new gossip.
"You'll just have to wait and see," Haru informed her before marching out of the room before Hiromi could offer to come with her again.
A few days without dealing with her maid's never-ending chatter sounded too heavenly to allow her to ruin it.
Haru did her best to keep her face calm and impassive, but she couldn't help feeling that perhaps she could have come up with a cover story instead of not telling anyone anything.
Captain Tatsuo personally helped her into the carriage with the von Gikkingen seal on the doors, still looking worried at her insistence of going with only two soldiers serving as coachman and footman. "It really wouldn't take that long to summon more soldiers to go with you, my lady."
"Thank you for your concern, but anyone that attacks a carriage with the Baron's seal on it would be foolish enough to try no matter the number of soldiers, and deserves the upcoming chastisement," Haru answered calmly before settling herself in the seat. "The roads we will be on are patrolled, and I have no intention of being caught without Fukuo and Tomboe where we are going," she informed both captain and the nervous crowd of servants that had gathered to see her off. "If the Baron returns first, tell him I left a letter with Hiromi detailing what I'm up to. If the man bothers getting curious," she couldn't resist adding with a bitter bite to her tone.
That startled the captain, since it wasn't like her to take her mood out on the hired help, but there was only so much patience she could have for people who couldn't be bothered to be patient with her.
To make sure that the discussion ended before the captain again suggested she wait until her husband was home, Haru reached over and shut the door to the carriage herself. "Let's be off, gentlemen!" she called from within. "The day is wearing on, and I'm sure you'd prefer an inn over a tent tonight."
That forced Fukuo and Tomboe to climb into their positions on the carriage and begin driving out the opening the portcullis was creating as it rose up.
Haru leaned back in her seat, feeling a great sense of relief as the stone walls passed her on both sides. Never mind that she routinely left them every day for her daily ride; her heart felt lighter at the thought of not seeing the unyielding stone for at least a few days.
"Where to, my lady?" Tomboe called from the driver's seat once they were off the castle grounds.
"Take the west road," Haru told him as an unstoppable smile dominated her lips. "I'll give you more directions when we get to the fork."
ooOoo
'Do I want a boy or a girl?'
It was a question she should probably answer before reaching the orphanage. Even if she were this desperate, there was a certain dignity she had to maintain the fiction of thanks to her upbringing and rank. She wanted to be taken seriously, after all, and the last thing she wanted was for whoever was in charge to refuse her since she did not have her husband's permission to take in a child.
'They could very well do that to me. Only a foolish person crosses someone like him,' she thought while nervously chewing on a handkerchief since she had to maintain her nails, just in case.
The mere thought of being on guard even for this made her feel trapped all over again. Even if she'd been lucky enough to be given to someone that was everything the king had promised the Baron would be, she'd still never be allowed to do little things like chew on her nails because she was nervous about taking this step.
But sweet heavens, she needed to find something to give her joy in her circumstances. Frankly, the Baron should have seen something like this coming since he closed certain doors to her with nothing more than a guilty expression.
She was jolted out of her thoughts as the carriage came to a halt.
"My lady?" Tomboe said loud enough for her to hear. "There's a decent sized pond on the left side of the road, and it's getting close to noon. It would not be a bad idea to rest and water the horses while we have a bite of lunch."
"That sounds lovely," Haru agreed without thinking. "I would like to stretch my legs a bit, anyway."
The sun was dimmer today than it had been the day before when they had left the baronetcy. Haru deeply inhaled the rich scents of summer as a breeze seemed to caress her face and hair.
"Are… you going to tell us yet where we're going, my lady?" Fukuo asked as the horses eagerly drank from the pond.
"The Iroh duchy. I want to test the old phrase 'money can't buy happiness'," Haru explained, her eyes closed as she soaked in the birdsong and rustling trees.
"What are you planning to buy, my-" Tomboe tried to ask, but then the sound of breaking branches was heard on the other side of the pond.
Haru whirled around as both soldiers put their hands to their swords, but then her heart faltered as a young voice grunted in pain.
Before they were really ready for it, a husky boy about ten years old tumbled through the bushes with a yelp of pain. In his arms were a handful of dirt-covered parsnips, and the angry adult voice crashing through the trees said loud and clear what the trouble was.
"Come back here, you little thief!"
Haru ran to the boy and held him tight to her when he tried to run before fully on his feet again. "Stay calm," she whispered into his ear, which had the desired effect of making him pause long enough to look up at her with confusion. She smiled encouragingly before holding him more tightly while waiting for the man to break through the bushes as well.
A large man eventually emerged, turning his enraged gaze at the boy. "There you are!" he raged, raising one hand to strike the child.
"Stand down!" Haru commanded in her best noblewoman voice, using a volume that would have been perfectly at home making a speech to the court. "Laying a hand on a noblewoman means death, which I'm sure you're aware of."
Even as she said it, the two soldiers walked around her to point their sword tips at the man's nose.
At the sight of the blades, the man swiftly backed away. "That little brat stole my parsnips! He's got the proof right there in his greedy little hands!"
"I'm aware," Haru answered him cooly, fishing two gold coins out of her purse and tossing them at the man, who proved his own greed by snatching them out of the air like throwing a bone to the dogs. "But now that you are paid in full, you have no quarrel with the boy, now do you?"
The farmer bit one of the coins to check its authenticity but gave the girl a weary look. "I'm not the only one that little thief stole from. We've been trying to catch him so we can drop him back into the orphanage he came from!"
"No, please," the boy cried, now clinging to her skirt. "Don't make me go back!"
Haru shushed him and wove patterns into his hair the way she did with horses to help them calm down. Then her eyes turned to the farmer, who was clearly waiting for a verdict. "I suggest you tell your neighbors that this child is none of your concern anymore. I'm feeling very confident that I can find a better place than the orphanage for him."
The man seemed startled that she was taking personal responsibility for the boy. "And who should I tell the neighbors has taken him for us?"
"You have the honor to address her ladyship, the Baroness von Gikkingen," Fukuo informed the man coldly, making the man gape like a fish at the young woman.
"The virgin-"
"Get out of here!" Tomboe suddenly yelled, cutting the man off and sending him scurrying into the bushes like a scared rabbit.
Haru couldn't resist a short laugh after the man was out of earshot. "Do you two really think I don't know about my insulting additional title?"
Fukuo and Tomboe looked at each other with chagrin, which made her laugh a little harder before turning with the boy back toward the carriage.
"Unfortunately, the marquis is not so considerate of my feelings. Are you all right, young man?" she asked with concern, taking his elbow to inspect the large scrape.
He was gaping at her as well. "I thought you looked like a troll!"
Haru couldn't resist pulling a face that showed off her canines to the best of her ability. "Are you saying that I'm not that terrifying?" she teased, making the boy laugh slightly through his remaining tears. "That's better. Take a seat, and Tomboe, please get the satchel Yubaba sent with us just in case."
The soldier nodded, sheathing his sword before running for the carriage.
Haru gently made the boy sit on a log that had clearly served as a seat for more than one weary traveler. "Would you mind grabbing some bread as well?" She gave the boy a sympathetic smile. "I've never had a parsnip that I enjoyed eating, so the only sense I can make is that you're just hungry."
His stomach answered for him, making the boy lower his eyes. "It's not my fault," he mumbled. "I tried to get a job, but everyone says I'm too little."
"For now," Haru added critically while inspecting him, relieved that the worst injury was the one on his elbow. "Every little boy I've seen with your build grows up to be as tall as a mountain. What's your name, sweetheart?"
"… Muta. Why did you help me?" he asked before tearing with his teeth into a loaf that Tomboe handed to him.
Haru's hands faltered slightly as she accepted the satchel with healing ointments. "… I know what it's like to have someone much bigger angry at you," she admitted before dipping her handkerchief into the pond to start cleaning his wound.
Muta didn't answer her, but mostly because he was doing everything in his power to make the bread disappear in record time. His small black eyes, however, expressed his gratitude all the same.
Haru opened one of the jars and readied a small spoon for it. "This will sting for a little while, but it will also make sure that your injury doesn't start leaking pus."
Muta nodded, only flinching and grunting a bit as she used the spoon to cover the wound with the ointment.
"My lady, do we have time for this?" Fukuo asked while handing the boy a cup of water.
"All the time in the world," Haru answered, knowing that her mind was made up. All she had to do was convince the boy, and they could make it back to the baronetcy in record time.
After she finished tying a bandage over the medicine, she looked up at Muta with a smile. "Are you feeling any better?"
He nodded, though still looking nervous. "So, what do you want to do with me?"
Haru sat next to the boy on the log. "First off, I want you to tell me what was so awful about the orphanage."
He shuddered. "The only times we get enough food is when the duke's assistant visits. The place is normally a pigsty, but we're forced to help clean the place up before every visit. It's always cold, there's never enough clothes for the right kids. I was stuck in a dress for a week before we got more donations! Madame even lets her workers keep horse crops to keep us in line!"
Haru tapped her chin with a glare. "I think I'll need to write to the duke. Strongly suggest that he doesn't give warning before a personal inspection, and actually talk to the children about how they're living. I'm surprised he isn't already doing that, frankly. I'm sure he doesn't grant the place mere pennies to keep everything running."
"You know him?" Muta asked with surprise.
Haru grinned a bit wolfishly at him. "Not only do I know him, I know enough to guarantee you that if things are as bad as you say, getting her own riding crop used on her will be the least of Madame's problems."
Muta also grinned wolfishly. "About time." But the grin soon faded. "So what are you going to do with me?"
Haru smiled again, hoping that she'd find the right words to convince him. "Since you know who I am, you know about my marital problems."
His confused look increased.
"You know that my husband doesn't like me," she clarified.
"Oh! Yes, I know. Everybody knows." But his confusion only got worse as he gave her a long look. "But if he doesn't like you, then he's a giant whiner."
"Watch your tongue!" Tomboe demanded sharply, making Haru's grin turn sly as she glanced up at the guard.
"Would you say that to the queen? I have written evidence that she's said about the same thing." Then she turned her attention to the child. "Muta, you can understand why I'm less than happy with his decisions?"
"Why would you be happy?" he wanted to know.
"If he's being this stubborn, you can understand why me trying to force him to talk to me won't go well, right?"
Muta nodded while scowling. "I hate talking to people that won't listen."
Haru gestured at the boy with a pointed look at the guards, who both looked a bit uncomfortable. "All right, Muta, now on to the difficult parts. You can understand why I sometimes want to hurt him the way he hurt me?"
"Do you need me to do anything?" he asked eagerly.
"Yes, but not to him." Haru took in a deep breath and let it out before continuing. "I could choose to ruin him, or I can get started on the happiness the king insisted I would find with the Baron. I would prefer the latter, but I needed to get a bit creative to take what I want in a way that won't get me killed."
Muta looked confused again. "You sound like you want me to help with that, but I don't know what I could do."
Deciding it was worth the risk, she took his hands in hers before telling him. "Muta… I was heading to the orphanage to pick out a ward. But I want you."
"My lady!" Fukuo gasped.
"Oh, hush," she told him with exasperation. "I'm not asking the Baron to take in a ward; Muta will be all mine so that I have someone that knows how to talk to me about more than whether or not forcing myself on the Baron is a bad idea." She gave a gob smacked Muta a regretful smile. "I can't promise you'll inherit the baronetcy, but I can help you get a good education or trade so that you'll never have to go hungry again. All you have to do is be my family, and I'll be yours. What do you say?" she tried not to plead.
There was a naked yearning in his eyes that clearly said that he wanted to take her offer. But there was a trace of guilt there as well. "I… can't."
"Why not?" she asked, trying to keep her voice level even though she wanted to beg.
He looked down with shame. "I'm bad luck. Bad things always happen when I'm around."
Haru blinked. "Would you mind explaining? I don't see any bad luck around right now."
"Well, I'm not scared or angry right now. But strange things happen when I get upset, and I don't want to hurt you. You've got the Baron for that."
Something clicked in Haru's mind. "Really?" she purred, which disturbed both of the soldiers as well as the boy. "I need a bowl filled with water, please don't dawdle. Muta, sit on the ground with me, would you?"
He gave her a baffled look, so Haru had to repeat her instructions a few more times before she and the boy were sitting on the ground, facing each other with a small wooden bowl with water between them.
"I want you to try something for me, Muta," Haru asked, trying to keep a tight rein on her excitement. "I want you to picture something simple in your mind. An apple, a stone, whatever you like. Think about as many of the details as you can manage."
He looked at her like she was crazy, but closed his eyes before nodding. "A cat."
"Good. I want you to think very hard about that cat, but I also want you to clear your head of everything else. The easiest way to do that is with a breathing exercise. Breathe with me, in… and out." Haru stopped announcing her breaths after the first round, since the boy could tell the difference in sound without trouble.
Muta's face was initially scrunched up in thought, but as he relaxed, the water in the bowl began to move as if it were alive.
Tomboe tried to say something, but Fukuo had the sense to cover his comrade's mouth, their eyes not leaving the bowl until a small kitten made of water climbed out of it.
Haru tried to stifle her happy laughter but could barely manage through her tears. "Muta, open your eyes."
He did and gaped at what he'd conjured from the water. The kitten curiously padded closer to him before touching the palm of his hand with its wet nose. Then it promptly fell to the grass like common water as Muta jumped to his feet with a yell.
"I did that?!" he demanded of Haru, who was beaming as she nodded. "I did that!"
"Yes, you did," she gushed happily. "Did I mention that there's a magician not that far from my castle? I'm sure I can pay him to teach you how to control your powers so that no one will see you as 'bad luck' again. I only know a handful of things from a book I read at your age."
Muta started crying before throwing himself into her arms. "Please… please…"
Haru couldn't resist the urge to cry as she held him tight. "That's my boy."
ooOoo
"Make sure you get behind the ears," Haru instructed Fukuo firmly, who nodded as he kept a gentle grip on the boy's arm.
"Do I really need a bath?" Muta pouted like a sullen child.
"We aren't going to have much luck getting you new clothes unless you're cleaned up a bit," she informed him while rustling his dirty hair. "It won't hurt, I promise."
"I'd better wait outside your door, my lady," Tomboe decided while leaning against the wall next to her door. "The Baron wouldn't be pleased if you were left vulnerable."
"Agree to disagree," Haru muttered under her breath as her new ward was escorted to the stairs, since their rooms were on the second floor of the inn, and the bathhouse was on the ground just outside.
Haru breathed a long happy sigh while closing her door and locking it. 'I have a child. A child of my very own.' She dreamily but clumsily waltzed around the room before collapsing on the small bed she'd claimed as hers, staring at the other bed with more joy than she'd felt since her wedding day.
It had been after dark when she and her new husband had reached their baronetcy almost a year ago, and at least this was a memory that wasn't going to be immediately tainted with something terrible.
Muta actually liked her, for one thing. He was willing to talk to her and reach out for affection. All things that she'd given up on from literally everyone else in the baronetcy.
'I should get to writing that letter to Duke Iroh,' she mused sleepily. 'Wait, I didn't bring anything to write with. Oh well, I have plenty of ink and parchment back at the castle.'
She frowned, once again noticing that mental block from referring to the castle as her home.
She shook it off dismissively.
The baronetcy was merely something to be endured until she was abandoned by death, either her husband's or his uncle's, it would all be the same to her. Yuki would more than understand if Haru told her she didn't want the baronetcy as a dowry after that.
She didn't realize that she was drifting until Tomboe suddenly knocked on her door.
"My lady? The boy is clean."
"Excellent!" Haru exclaimed, shaking off her weariness and buckling her purse back onto her belt before heading for the door and unlocking it. "We'll want to hurry if we-"
She was suddenly interrupted as the door was shoved open, shoving her to the side in surprise as her toe was stubbed. She yelped from the pain, but it turned into a disappointed groan as she saw who was locking the door after himself.
"Sorry about that. Hiromi gave me your letter," the Baron informed her seriously before intentionally dragging a chair in front of the door and sitting on it to keep her from leaving. Then he rubbed his leg with a wince. "Your boy has already given me his regards."
There wasn't much more for her to do, since he'd be able to stop her from climbing out the window.
She sat on her bed while glaring at him since her toe was now throbbing with pain. "I'm keeping Muta, and I meant what I wrote."
Baron was still rubbing his leg with a pained expression. "No, you can keep him. Heaven knows after that last assignment, I don't want to run the risk of another evil warlock replacing the one I just got rid of."
"Then why are you here?" she asked point blank. "I'm pretty sure I added that I'm not expecting any response or responsibility from you concerning my ward."
"Frankly, Haru, considering my behavior, a ward is the least that you're owed." Then he looked up at her while pulling her letter from his pocket.
"But it appears we're overdue to talk about everything else you addressed."
xxXxx
A/N; My head canon is that for Impure Hands, Haru was the one that trained Muta with her limited knowledge, and he's got a good imagination now that he knows why things happen around him.