Chapter 18 - Winter in the Country
Mr Bennet was slightly better three days after their return and was able to join the rest of the family downstairs. Although he did still look rather pale, he expressed himself pleased with a change of room. Mrs Bennet fussed around him and got Hill to put build up the fire, as he took his usual seat close by. "There, Mr Bennet, I think you will do very well there," his wife said as she took her seat.
"Thank you, Mrs Bennet. Lizzy, my paper if you please?" Mr Bennet said, and then more quietly so that only Elizabeth could hear as she brought it to him, "Sit by me, my child? While I catch up on what I have missed."
Elizabeth moved her chair a little closer to her father and picked up the book she had been reading. Jane was sitting at the table writing a letter. Mrs Bennet returned to her work and they sat in silence, other than Mary's playing which they could hear from the other room.
Elizabeth watched her father's tired face as he read his paper. The weight of her decision to marry Mr Collins pressed upon her more heavily than ever. She had made the choice to secure her family's future, but at what cost to her own happiness? And with Mr Darcy's impending return, she feared her resolve might weaken.
Jane glanced up at her father from her letter every now and then, as did Elizabeth. Both were keenly aware of his every movement. Mrs Bennet too seemed to be paying more attention to her husband then her work.
Mr Bennet turned the paper over, as he commented; "There is no need to watch me like a hawk watching a field mouse. I am not going to drop dead at any moment."
"Mr Bennet, how can you say such things?" Mrs Bennet said, quickly returning her attention to her needle work.
"I am sorry father," Elizabeth said, "we are glad to see you downstairs again. Do you think you will be well enough to able to accompany us to Church tomorrow?"
"We shall see Lizzy, we shall see."
Lydia and Kitty were heard coming downstairs and bickering as they came. "Why did you have to take mine? Jane would have let you wear hers?" Kitty said crossly.
"You know every well that I wore hers last week and cannot wear it again!" Lydia replied equally crossly.
"Girls, it is not ladylike to be arguing." Mrs Bennet called to them in the hall.
"Oh, we are not arguing Mama," Lydia said as they came into the room. "We are off to Meryton to see Aunt Phillips."
"Is it not a little cold to be walking to Meryton?" Elizabeth said, with a meaningful glance at Jane.
"Not at all, there is no snow on the ground. It has quite cleared and Sir William Lucas does not think there will be any more until next week," Lydia said.
"We'll come with you then. I need some lace for the bonnet I bought in town." Jane said, folding her letter.
"Oh, but you are not ready and we wanted to leave now," Lydia complained bitterly.
Jane turned to leave, but addressed Lydia and Kitty before she went, "If you had given us notice that you were planning on going out we should have been ready. But as it is you must wait until we are."
Elizabeth looked at her father before she went upstairs to get ready. "Papa, you do not mind if we go with them do you?"
"No, my dear, you must enjoy yourself with your sisters and not worry about an old man like me," Mr Bennet said.
Mrs Bennet had followed Jane out of the room and was calling up after her, "Jane, you must take care to dress warmly. We cannot have you catching cold when Mr Bingley is to return so soon."
Elizabeth and Jane were soon ready. Lydia and Kitty were sitting waiting for them in a degree of ill humour, but cheered up slightly as they left.
"Mr Bingley is returning soon to Netherfield then?" Kitty asked Elizabeth, as they were walking together. Jane was walking with Lydia.
"Yes, he said he would be here very soon." Elizabeth told her, "and he does not bring his sisters with him again?"
"I believe Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst are to remain in town until the winter is over."
"So he is coming on his own then?"
"No, Mr Darcy is to join him in a week or two."
As Jane spoke of Mr Bingley, Elizabeth's mind wandered to Mr Darcy. The prospect of his return filled her with a mixture of anticipation and dread. How would she face him, knowing the turmoil his presence caused in her heart? And what of Mr Collins? Her engagement hung over her like a shadow, a constant reminder of her duty to her family.
Kitty was thoughtful for a moment, and then asked, "Mama said you had dinner with the Earl of Matlock and his family, was not it very grand?"
As they approached the town, Elizabeth found her thoughts drifting to London, to the ball where she had danced with Mr Darcy. The memory of his intense gaze and the warmth of his hand in hers sent a shiver through her. She quickly pushed the thought aside, reminding herself of her engagement to Mr Collins. But the conflict between duty and desire raged on in her heart.
Kitty was thoughtful for a moment, and then asked, "Mama said you had dinner with the Earl of Matlock and his family, was not it very grand?"
Elizabeth laughed at her sister's sudden interest on the subject. "It was indeed. The younger brother is a Colonel you know."
"Really, and was he handsome?"
"Sadly no, but he is a very charming gentleman."
"What a shame he is not handsome, it is such a pity."
"There are other things which are more important Kitty. His character is by no means wanting. He was very attentive and pleasant."
"And a Colonel. I should very much like to marry a Colonel."
"I should not, imagine if he were killed while fighting the French. It is a dangerous profession."
"But then you are to marry Mr Collins."
"That is true. But you are very well aware that I would not be marrying- there is father's health to consider."
"I knew there was more to it. Lydia did not believe it, but I know you did not like him any more than we did. He is the most odious man."
"Kitty, it is not done to say such things, even among ourselves. And remember that I am engaged to him."
When the reached Meryton they went to call on their Aunt. Who was always very happy to see them, especially Elizabeth and Jane as they had been away, and they gave her a full account of the dinner with the Fitzwilliams and the Middletons's ball. Although Elizabeth let Jane speak of the ball, as she was not sure if she could do so yet without blushing. The call lasted longer then Lydia and Kitty's visits normally did, but they left in high spirits.
A few officers did come over to greet them, Mr Wickham among them. He soon fell in with them, Elizabeth careful to remain with Kitty leaving Jane to keep an eye on Lydia. However she saw that she was struggling to keep Lydia in check. Kitty was easier to manage and followed Elizabeth's example in polite inquiries of their health. Lydia, luckily, had not worked out what they were trying to do.
They walked on for a few minutes before Miss Bennet, tired by the antics of her youngest sister, declared that they were needed at home. Lydia protested but did at length agree.
Elizabeth sighed at her younger sisters' antics. Their frivolity seemed even more pronounced now, in light of recent events. She wondered how Mr Collins would react to such behaviour in his future sisters-in-law. The thought of him as part of their family still felt alien to her, especially when compared to the easy rapport she had felt with Mr Darcy.
Mr Bennet was well enough the next morning to attend church, although he was obliged to return to his room on their return. Elizabeth spent the afternoon with him, reading to him. She only left him once he had fallen asleep. She joined the others for tea.
Mrs Bennet was rather nervous and complaining a great deal. "I do not understand why Mr Bennet delays your marriage Lizzy," she said as Elizabeth entered the room.
"I do not know why Mr Bingley has not spoken to Jane yet. Are you sure my dear he has not even hinted?"
"Quite sure Mama," Jane said firmly, she had gone rather red.
"It will be all your father's fault if he dies before Lizzy is married to Mr Collins. Whatever will become of us then?"
"Mr Collins is to return very soon Mama and Mr Bingley will be here within the week," Elizabeth said quietly.
"Aye, that is true. At least your father was able to go to church today. If he had not gone then it would have been talked of. But we must hope that it does not snow again for Mr Bingley returns or his journey might be delayed."
"He said he would be here very soon," Jane said reassured her mother. "And his sisters will be joining him in the spring."
"Well, when Mr Collins is here I shall be easy." Mrs Bennet said, "Lizzy you must write to him and ask if he can come sooner than we had talked of. Yes, that is the very thing."
"I wrote to him just yesterday, but I will mention it the next time I write."
"What nonsense is this? Of course you must write to him and entreat him to come. Then the whole unpleasant business at the ball will be forgot."
Elizabeth realised it was useless to disagree with her mother. Although the idea of hastening Mr Collins return did not fill her with pleasure.
As Elizabeth lay in bed, her mind whirled with conflicting emotions. The relief of being home and seeing her father recovering warred with the anxiety of her impending marriage. And beneath it all, a current of anticipation ran through her at the thought of seeing Mr Darcy again. She chastised herself for such thoughts, but found she could not entirely banish them.
ooOoo
The morning light filtered through the curtains as Darcy sat at his desk, penning a letter to Bingley about their imminent return to Netherfield.
Georgiana was to go with him to Pemberley and then return to town when he was going to Hertfordshire. She was still trying to persuade him that she should go with him into Hertfordshire, he was firm. He would not place her within the same county as Wickham if he could help it, and there was his promise to the Earl. Georgiana would come into Hertfordshire when matters were settled there.
Darcy's valet had barely finished helping him dress when Colonel Fitzwilliam was announced. His cousin's early visit could only mean one thing - more discussions. Colonel Fitzwilliam strode into the room with his usual military bearing, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes that Darcy knew all too well.
"So Darcy, when are we to go into Kent this year? Or has the brief visit our aunt made enough to satisfy our yearly obligation?"
Darcy laughed, with a wry smile, "I wish it were so, but sadly it will not satisfy Lady Catherine."
"Ah, I feared as much. And how do you think she'll react to your… plans regarding Miss Elizabeth?"
Darcy sighed, "That, cousin, is a bridge I've yet to figure out how to cross."
He was in no hurry to go into Kent. If he went before the engagement were dissolved, he would have to stand Mr Collins speeches regarding Elizabeth and tolerate his aunt's suspicions. However, if he waited until after the engagement had be dissolved, he would have an equally difficult situation on his hands. As Lady Catherine would not be at all happy. And, if things worked out as he hoped, he would be himself engaged to her. He could not see himself leaving her side if they were not yet engaged.
No, he would not fall into that trap again. If he was lucky, the engagement would be dissolved, but he would make sure that no other man came anywhere near her until they were married. But he could not tell his cousin this. Perhaps it would be best to wait to visit Kent until after they were married. Yes, that would be the best way. Pushing these thoughts aside, Darcy turned his attention back to his cousin.
"If you are at a loose end you could always join me in Hertfordshire rather than in Kent. I'm sure Bingley would be more than happy to extend the invitation to include you." Darcy offered.
The Colonel laughed, "Lady Catherine will not be pleased, but yes, I think I will join you later on. I will be able to take a fair amount of leave over Easter."
"Excellent." Darcy smiled, "Your company would be most welcome, especially given the… delicate nature of the situation."
"And how is our dear Georgiana? Will she be joining you in Hertfordshire?"
"No, not initially. I think it best she remain at Pemberley for now. I don't want to risk her crossing paths with Wickham."
"A wise decision. Though I daresay she'll be disappointed to miss the excitement." The Colonel said, "I hear Bingley is quite taken with Miss Bennet. Any truth to the rumours?"
Darcy paused considering, "I believe there is, but I do not know why Bingley is taking so long to get to the point. His lady is not engaged to another."
"Well, well. It seems the Bennet sisters have thoroughly enchanted you both." The Colonel grinned. "Are there more of these Bennet sisters? Maybe I will fall head-over-heels for one!"
"I think you'll find your hands full enough just observing, Richard," Darcy said with a wry smile, while privately thinking how ill-equipped his cousin would be to handle the likes of Kitty or Lydia. "And perhaps you should meet them first before making such declarations,"
The journey to Pemberley from London was always a long one and this one was no different. Georgiana was silent for most of the way and Darcy was lost in his thoughts, which kept returning to one fine-eyed young lady whom he had no right to be thinking of.
As they approached the house, Darcy was reminded of his childhood. He had not seen the house during winter for many years now. There was not as much snow on the ground as there had been even three days ago, but a frost had settled over the house and the ground and everything seemed to gleam slightly in the pale winter sun. Georgiana let out a slight gasp, she too had not seen the house like this since she was very young. Since his mother's death they had spent most of their time in London and even more so since his father's death.
When he had been a child he had spent every winter in Derbyshire, they had skated on the lake and played in the snow. His father had not been able to face a winter there without Lady Anne. Georgiana had spent maybe two months a year here since she was born and only one winter when she was about five years old. Darcy could see large patches of snow that had not yet been touched. He could just imagine Elizabeth running through the field, leaving a path of footprints behind her, not caring how dirty her dress got. He shook his head slightly - he needed to stop thinking about her like this. At least until after the engagement with Mr Collins was broken off.
"I think we should try and spend some of the winter here," he said to his sister.
She smiled at him, "I would like that very much." She said quietly, and then more excitably, "is the lake frozen?"
He looked over at it, "I believe it is."
"Can you teach me to skate? You said once that you can skate."
"An excellent idea."
ooOoo
The next few days past quietly for Elizabeth, she did receive a letter from Miss Darcy one morning, which was thicker then she had been expecting. She decided to wait to read it until she was alone in her room that evening, the last thing she needed was her mother to know she was corresponding with Mr Darcy's sister.
But she needn't have worried, as Mr Bingley had arrived in morning and came to call on them that afternoon and her mother was so distracted by him that she would not have noticed her second daughter's letter.
"Ah, Mr Bingley, we are very pleased to see you. I hope you had a pleasant journey?" Mrs Bennet greeted him.
"Thank you Mrs Bennet, I did indeed. Town was not nearly as pleasant after you and your daughters had left," he said glancing at Jane, who coloured.
"Oh, Mr Bingley. You are too kind," Mrs Bennet said with a smile.
"So, Mr Darcy is to join you in a week or two, does he bring Miss Darcy with him?" Mrs Bennet asked, with a sideways glance at her second daughter.
"Mr Darcy will be here soon, but Miss Darcy will only be joining us much later. My sisters and Mr Hurst are to be joining us in the spring."
As Mr Bingley spoke of Mr Darcy's plans, Elizabeth found herself both longing for and dreading his arrival. The complexity of her emotions towards him seemed to grow with each passing day. She chided herself for the reaction, unsure whether it stemmed from excitement or dread. She focused instead on maintaining a neutral expression, lest her mother notice her discomfort.
Mrs Bennet and Mr Bingley continued on for a few minutes, until Mrs Bennet suddenly stood. "Come Kitty, Lydia, there is something I would speak to you two about."
Kitty look confused, Lydia giggled, but they both followed their mother from the room. Elizabeth sighed at her mother's antics. Not long after, Mary and Elizabeth were called from the room by Hill. They went to sit with their father, who was sitting by the fire in his book room. A little while later, Elizabeth went back into the sitting room. Mr Bingley and Jane were speaking quietly and both smiled at her as she entered. Mr Bingley stood as she took her seat next to Jane.
"We were just speaking of the ball," Jane told her, "and what a pity it is there is not going to be another one for a few months."
"It is a great pity, but I am sure there will be dancing at some evening gathering or other." Elizabeth said with a smile. "Lydia could not go a month without dancing."
"Well in that case we will have to arrange something," Mr Bingley declared. "When Darcy is back, not a large party, yourselves, your sisters of course and a few others. Yes it is the very thing for a winter evening in the country. Dinner and dancing afterwards."
The excitement of Mr Bingley's visit had pushed thoughts of Miss Darcy's letter from Elizabeth's mind for most of the day. As night fell and the house quieted, she finally found the privacy to open the unexpected missive.
When she opened the letter she saw that Miss Darcy had included several pages of sheet music as well.
Dear Miss Elizabeth BennetI hope my letter finds you well and that your journey home was pleasant? We are to leave London tomorrow morning for Derbyshire, my brother has decided to let me go with him to Pemberley. However, he still will not let me come into Hertfordshire with him until much later in the year. I am glad to be leaving town, I believe I have spent too much of my time in town. I enjoy the country, but am not often in it. It is much pleasanter in the country than it is in town. But I am sure I do not need to tell you that, my brother mentioned that you love walking and did not seem yourself in I am sad to be leaving my dear cousins, I enjoy their society greatly. I have spent most of day trying to gather up all of my music and get it into order, I do not want to lose any of it of the trip. I did enjoying hearing you play and I hope that I will soon have the chance to hear you play again. There is one piece in particular that I would like to hear you play, it is one of my brother's favourites. I have enclosed some sheet music that I think you will enjoy. The composer is Felix Mendelssohn…
Miss Darcy continued to write about music for quite some time. Elizabeth was rather surprised by the music, they had spoken of music more than any other subject but she had not been expecting this.
Elizabeth stared at the sheet music in surprise. Miss Darcy's thoughtfulness touched her deeply, yet it also served as a bittersweet reminder of the connection she was forming with a family she could never truly be a part of.
Elizabeth's fingers traced the notes on the page, her mind already trying to imagine the melody. Miss Darcy's gift was unexpected but not unwelcome. It occurred to Elizabeth that this might be the young girl's way of maintaining a connection, perhaps even seeking a friend.
The next morning she took the sheets downstairs with her and tried to play it. As Elizabeth struggled with the unfamiliar piece, Mary's curiosity got the better of her. For once, her usual air of superiority was replaced by genuine interest.
"That's not from our collection, is it?" she asked, peering over Elizabeth's shoulder. Mary's eyes widened as she recognized the composer's name. "Mendelssohn? How did you come by this?" she asked, her tone a mixture of awe and envy.
Elizabeth hesitated, then decided on honesty. "It was a gift from Miss Darcy."
To her surprise, instead of a lecture on the impropriety of such a gift, Mary simply nodded and said, "May I?", gesturing to the sheet music.
Elizabeth nodded, expecting criticism. Instead, Mary began to play, her fingers stumbling over the unfamiliar notes.
"It's quite challenging," she admitted.
Elizabeth smiled, "Shall we tackle it together?"
As they worked through the piece, Elizabeth realized this was the first time in years she and Mary had truly collaborated on anything.
For the next hour, the sisters found a rare moment of harmony, both in music and in spirit. Elizabeth welcomed her sister's unexpected engagement, and soon they were working through the challenging passages together, their shared love of music bridging their usual distance. For once, Elizabeth found herself grateful for her sister's musical knowledge and persistence.