AN: Thank you for all the support! It brings a smile to my face when life is chaotic like it is today!
For the first time in years, Hermione spent more time tossing and turning than she did sleeping.
She groaned as she hung her head. Most Sunday mornings, she would be furious with Melonie for blasting Elvis at six in the morning. Since she'd been awake since 5:00 AM, she couldn't find it in herself to care. If anything, the Elvis marathon was a comfort because it meant Hermione didn't have to force her eyes shut anymore.
Every time you call me and tell me we should meet tomorrow! I can't help but think that you're meeting someone else tonight!
Hermione scowled and took another bite of Cheerios. They were much mushier than she liked, in large part because she kept staring out into space, meditating on the dreams which had haunted her all night.
Why should our romance just keep on causing me such sorrow? Why am I so doubtful whenever you are out of sight?
Hermione shook her head and took another bite. All she could think of was Severus in another woman's arms, his eyes glistening as her embrace enveloped him.
Suspicion torments my heart! Suspicion keeps us apart! Suspicion why torture me?
Why couldn't Hermione expel the idea that she was losing Severus from her heart? Were her dreams causing her distress, or was there something deeper occurring, something more sinister? Who was this other woman, and why was her very existence so distasteful to Hermione?
Before Hermione could meditate on her quandary, the dream replayed in her mind. Severus was wrapped inside a shadow, his eyes glistening as he let out a low chuckle. After a few seconds, the shadow took on the appearance of a woman. At first, Hermione didn't recognize the woman. Yet within seconds, the blue eyes and long hair took on a much more familiar shape.
Cindy.
Not a muscle in Hermione would obey her brain's command to move. Cindy's laughter pierced the air, cackling at Hermione and her helplessness to reach Severus. Despite Hermione opening her mouth, no words came out. Slowly, the shadow of Cindy absorbed Severus until he was gone from her life forever.
Why was this dream one of the worst she'd had in years? Why did she believe Severus would go for someone he'd called a "vapid twat?" Why did she even care that he was dating someone else?
She had a headache from analyzing it all.
A knock on the door interrupted her musings. She sighed and gave up the mushy Cheerios as a lost cause. Instead, she dumped them into the sink, promising herself she'd vanish them later.
Darling, if you love me, I beg you wait a little longer! Wait until I drive all these foolish fears out of my mind!
"Hermione?"
Hermione pulled her light purple bathrobe closer to her chest as she trudged to the door. Why was Ginny here? Were they supposed to meet? If so, was there a way to beg off in the name of catching a cold? It wouldn't be hard feign illness given how sluggish she was this morning, and the fact she looked as if she'd been hit by a semi.
"Hello Ginny," Hermione opened the door.
"Hermione," Ginny examined her. "You aren't ready for brunch."
"Brunch?" Hermione blinked.
"Yes, brunch," Ginny began in an even voice. "We were supposed to go to Tableau in an hour for brunch."
"Damn," Hermione smacked her forehead. "I'm sorry. I thought that was next week."
"It was this week."
"Shit."
"Don't worry about it," Ginny examined her. "It sounds like you need to talk more than you need to go out."
Suspicion! Keeps us apart! Suspicion! Why torture me?
"No, we can talk while I get ready to go out. Just give me fifteen minutes and I'll be ready," Hermione pulled her hair, feeling every matted tangle from her lack of sleep. Of course the day she needed to go out was the day it wouldn't cooperate. It would take more than fifteen minutes to prepare it for brunch, but she could try and hope for the best.
"We don't need to go out if you would rather stay in," Ginny followed Hermione into her bedroom.
"No, I want to go out. In fact, I need to go out."
"Fine," she glanced at the kitchen table, where the box of Cheerios remained. "Have you already eaten?"
"No, I only had a half bowl of Cheerios." Hermione rushed into her closet and pulled out a dark blue dress with long sleeves.
"Cheerios?"
"Yes," Hermione pulled out a pair of underwear and a bra.
"Don't you usually eat that when you aren't feeling well and need something to settle your stomach?"
"Yes, but don't worry, I'm fine today," Hermione rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.
"Hermione, if you're feeling sick and need to reschedule…"
"I'm fine!"
Ginny fell silent.
Hermione poked her head out of the bathroom. "I'm fine. I just didn't get much sleep, that's all."
"Oh," Ginny's eyes softened. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Hermione frowned. "Do I have a choice?"
"You do," Ginny's lips curled up, "You can try to remain quiet, but I always get the truth out of you sooner or later."
Hermione rolled her eyes before slamming the door behind her.
"Does this have something to do with Melonie's latest Elven playlist?" Ginny continued.
"First of all," Hermione threw off her bathrobe and pink, silk nightgown. "His name isn't Elven. He's Elvis Presley, just Elvis for short."
"Oh, Elvis."
"Yep, the King of Rock and Roll," Hermione began putting on her undergarments.
"Huh. I didn't know he was called that."
"Well he is."
"Is it about your new boyfriend, uh, Steven?" Ginny continued. "Did you two get into a fight last Friday?"
"No, Steven and I are fine," Hermione's voice wasn't as certain as she thought it should be.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," she threw on her dress, a smile creeping across her face at the memory of Steven's hand in hers, the aroma of herbs and mints wafting in the air. It was a memory she could cling to, one which should eliminate the image of Cindy embracing Severus from her mind.
"So he treats you well?" Ginny asked.
"Yes," Still serene, she grabbed a white towel. "He's the perfect gentleman. I love every minute I spend with him."
"Love?"
Hermione hummed.
"I take it you had fun with him then?"
"I did," Hermione stuck her head under the sink and cast a spell the keep her clothes dry. Then, she turned on the sink and moistened her hair.
"Do you want to go on another date with him?"
"I do," Hermione dried her hair with the towel just enough to where it could be styled.
"Then why couldn't you sleep?" Ginny's voice took on a more playful quality. "Were you too busy dreaming about him?"
The image of Severus enveloped into Shadow Cindy's arms reappeared, his face becoming more obscured by the wisps. He appeared so happy, so oblivious to her existence. It was as if Hermione didn't exist, as if he no longer cared for her in the slightest.
"Hermione?"
"No," She grabbed her half empty bottle of Sleekeazy's and poured a gob onto her hand. "I didn't dream about him."
"But you dreamed about someone."
Hermione's frown deepened as she began to apply the Sleekeazy's into her hair.
"Who was it?" There was an excitement in Ginny's voice that tightened Hermione's muscles. "Who did you dream about?"
"Nobody," Hermione applied more Sleekeazy's into her hair, noting her hair was no tamer than it had been five minutes ago. "I dreamed of pink elephants."
"Pink elephants?"
"Yes," she poured herself another blob of Sleekeazy's. Would her hair ever freaking cooperate when she needed it to? Just once she'd love to look put together even when she felt as if her world was crashing down. "I'm afraid of elephants, so the dream shook me."
"Since when do pink elephants scare you?"
"Since I read that book about a circus act in which an elephant trampled a person. It sounded quite gruesome." She rubbed in the hair product into her scalp more forcefully, hoping this would be enough to style her hair.
"Huh, I didn't know those kinds of things happened." Ginny answered.
"It was a muggle story, so there's no reason you should have known about it," there was some improvement to her hair, but it would take another glob of the stuff, and she was running out of time.
"I guess," Ginny paused. "But I don't think you'd be so upset about pink elephants that you'd forget about a fancy brunch at a place you've always wanted to go."
"I suppose it's been one of those mornings where I'm too distracted to think of much else other than my dream." Hermione inserted more Sleekeazy's into her hair.
"I suppose so."
Hermione frowned as she glanced into the mirror. Her hair was far from perfect, but it was presentable. At the moment, that's all she could ask for. So, she grabbed her toothbrush and ran water over it.
"Did something happen with Severus?"
"Severus?" There was a pang in her chest and the thought of him in another woman's arms.
"Yes, was he a git to you last night? Did he win one too many times at poker? Did he say something to upset you?" Ginny asked.
Hermione's body went numb as she put toothpaste on her toothbrush.
"What did the git do to you now?"
"He's not a git!" Hermione snapped before brushing her teeth.
"He's not?"
She brushed her teeth harder.
"He is the one who upset you though, isn't he?"
If Hermione brushed her teeth any harder, her gums were going to bleed.
"Did you say or do something to upset him?" Ginny asked.
Hermione spat into the sink, noting the blood.
"Was your fight that bad?"
"No," she hacked out the last of her toothpaste. "We didn't have a fight."
"You didn't?" Ginny asked.
"No," Hermione took a deep breath before wiping her mouth with a towel. "We're fine, perfectly fine."
"You don't sound fine."
Hermione flung open the door. "Ginny, just drop it."
Her smile was much too wide for the morning. "What did he do, win all your Dum Dums?"
"Believe it or not, I came out ahead last night."
"You did?"
Hermione nodded. "I won by two suckers."
"Wow, Severus is losing his touch," Ginny glanced back at the clock. "Hey, we have twenty minutes to spare. Not bad."
"At least we won't be late," Hermione grumbled as she put on a pair of brown sandals.
"We will be if you don't tell me what's going on."
"Damnit Ginny, can't you figure out that I don't want to gossip?" Hermione's body temperature rose.
"I don't either," the playfulness has evaporated from her expression. "I want to help you. Something is bothering you. I want to know what it is so we can work through it."
Hermione took a shaky breath. "Severus has a girlfriend."
"Oh," Ginny's eyes shifted to her right.
Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "You knew that, didn't you?"
"I did," she rubbed her right arm.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Hermione snapped.
"I don't know," Ginny turned to Hermione. "I thought that you would be able to talk to your best friend about whether or not he was in a relationship. Friends tend to tell each other these kinds of things, at least friends who have a healthy relationship."
"My relationship with Severus is one of the healthiest relationships I've ever had."
"Yet he hid having a girlfriend from you."
"He did, and it pisses me off." Hermione stomped. "For the last two weeks, he was dating someone else, and I had no freaking clue."
"So he knew that you had a boyfriend, but didn't tell you about his girlfriend?"
Hermione paled as her mouth hung open.
"You didn't tell him about Steven, did you?" Ginny cocked her head.
"It just never came up," Hermione's voice was weak.
From the house next door, Elvis sang, We're caught in a trap. I can't walk out. Because I love you too much, baby.
"So neither of you had told each other about your romantic interest until last night?" Ginny asked.
"No," Hermione glanced at her feet.
"Why not?" Ginny's voice was soft.
"I didn't want him to think I'd abandon him or that I didn't care. I need him in my life, so I decided I'd tell him when the time was right."
"When would that be?"
From across the yard, Melonie yelled over the crescendoing music, "Shoo! Go next door! Leave me alone!"
Hermione shrugged and met Ginny's eyes. "I kept looking for the right moment, but it never came. I never considered that he'd find a new girlfriend."
We can't go on together! With suspicious mind! With suspicious minds!
"Oh Hermione," Ginny embraced her. "Are you afraid he'll leave you for her?"
"I don't know," a tear went down her cheek. "I just know I need him."
Ginny embraced her tighter.
"Ever since I moved to Nevada, it was Severus and me against the world. We were each other's best friend, the one person I could trust with any secret, the one person who knew me better than I knew myself, and the one person I knew better than anyone else. Now he has a girlfriend. How long before she decides I'm an inconvenient complication? How long until he decides he'd rather be with her than with me? How long until she decides I'm a threat to her relationship with him and forces him to choose between us?"
"Are you a threat to their relationship?" Ginny released her.
Hermione blinked back her tears.
"If Severus burst though that door right now and told you he dumped his girlfriend and you were the only woman he would ever love, would you run into his arms and say you loved him too?"
The almost kiss in her bookstore flashed in Hermione's mind. He had been so close to her, his eyes so soft and vulnerable. Had she made a move, had she shown that Gryffindor courage, would this other woman be an issue? Would she and Severus be together, or would she have found a way to muck everything up already? If they kissed, would she have done something stupid, like said she loved him?
No, she didn't love him, so that was an unfounded fear.
An owl's peck interrupted her musings.
"I'll get it," Hermione rushed away from her friend and opened the window.
We're caught in a trap! I can't walk out! Because I love you too much baby!
"Who is that from?" Ginny asked.
Hermione relaxed as she saw the sender. A smile crept across her face. "Steven."
"Steven?"
"Yes," Hermione opened the letter.
Dearest Helen,
How long has it been since I've touched you? A few hours? A few days? A few years? It feels as if we have just touched for the first time, and that I have been savoring your touch for years. The feel of your hand in mine is imprinted on my very soul. It is the most exhilarating sensation I have experienced, more potent than any potion ever brewed. While I would never wish you agony, I do pray you count down the minutes until you see me again the way I count them down until I see you.
Would you like to meet for dinner next Friday night? Due to other important commitments, I cannot dine until then. Still, I desire to see you again as soon as life allows me to do so. Since you are paying, I am amenable to whatever you choose. So long as I am with you again, I will be the happiest man in the world.
Sincerely yours,
Steven
All tension left Hermione's muscles as a smile crossed her face.
"What did he say?" Ginny asked.
"He wants to see me again," Hermione set the letter on her bed.
"So, what does that mean for Severus?"
"It means I need to stop being selfish and allow myself to be happy," she exhaled.
"Selfish?"
"Yes, I am beginning a relationship with another man. He deserves the same courtesy."
"Is that what you want?"
"What I want is to be happy with what I have," she exhaled. "I have an outstanding best friend who always supports me and makes time for me. I also have a romantic boyfriend who is a perfect gentleman. What more could I want from life?"
Ginny glanced down at the letter. She scratched her chin and hummed.
"I'm hungry," Hermione announced. "We have ten minutes. Let's go eat!"
Ginny picked it up. "Hermione, do you notice anything about this letter?"
"Yes, it's beautiful."
"I know, but the handwriting…"
"It's impeccable, which is another point in Steven's favor. I am thrilled I don't have to wade through misspellings and poor grammar."
Ginny took another glance at it and licked her lips.
"It's time to go. We don't want to be late for our reservations."
"No, I suppose we don't," Ginny dropped the letter and refocused her attention on Hermione. "Are you feeling better?"
"I'm much better," Hermione answered. "I'm going to focus on what I have instead of everything I don't. I will be much happier if I do so."
"So you will," Ginny linked arms with Hermione.
Together they apparated away. Once they researched their destination, Hermione began discussing Steven and how romantic their dates had been. Perhaps if she said how perfect Steven was enough times, she could finally convince herself he was a better boyfriend than Severus could ever be.
It was worth a try anyway.