xxi. what i was made for / 89 a.d.d
Helios can hardly face her when he steps off of the train and into his mother's arms. Even though she's repeatedly telling him how proud she is of him, none of her words seem genuine.
If she hates him for this, Helios can't blame her. Prosperine Callahan didn't risk it all for him to win like this.
"Thank you," he whispers.
As the paparazzi chase him down the block, toward his new home, Helios carelessly swats them away. He's not too sure why they're following him. Yes, he's a victor now, but why would anybody want photos of a victor who didn't properly earn his victory?
The first thing Helios says to his mother when she slams the door to their home shut is, "I'm sorry."
She raises an eyebrow. "What are you apologizing for, my dear?"
"I didn't have the epic finale I always promised you," he says, his voice soft. "I let you down, and I'm sorry."
(I let myself down, and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life. Death would have been more gentle than this.)
His mother's smile fades away, tears beginning to well in her eyes. Was she always capable of crying?
"You didn't let me down," she assures him. "I meant it when I said that I was utterly, unbelievably proud of you, my son."
He doesn't believe her.
(Everything Helios ever done has been for her; that's always the way it's been. Never did he consider doing something for himself. Oh, how it hurts to know that now he never will.
The only thing left for him is death, but luck says that's the one thing he'll never get. Helios doesn't want death either. Not when he spent his whole life swearing he'd never die.)
(Besides, death would be the final step in him finally having to admit that he's not really the titan his mother raised him into.)
"Are you okay?" His mother asks, noticing Helios' extended silence. "I've never heard you so quiet."
He takes a deep breath and groans. "What am I supposed to do know?"
"Oh, honey…" she squeezes him tight, her tears smearing onto Helios' shirt. "I wish I had that answer for you."
(Was he always capable of crying?)
yes this is from the icarus victor au. no, i don't apologize.