A/N: Thanks as always to qazse for a lot of the reactions here!
"So, what exactly are we watching next?" Ren asked.
"Well, you're about to see. It wouldn't be any fun if I told you." Katana said.
"Yeah, I wanna see for myself!" Nora declared.
"The anticipation and curiosity does make finally seeing the creatures more rewarding." Penny agreed.
"Well, let's just see for ourselves." Jaune said.
"This feels strangely like we're just filling space." Winter said suspiciously.
A black screen was all that could be seen as Rage spoke. "Hello, my fellow hunters! Today, I only have one question to ask." The host declared, before suddenly showing a strange cartoon where a yellow square creature was hanging around with a pink star-shaped creature and someone named "Mr. Krabs", although this person was never shown, each scene having another crab-like creature, likely the monsters of the video, superimposed over him.
"Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?" The yellow square asked as he was seen in a kiddie pool with an animal floaty, next to the image of a massive red crab. "Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? Are you feeling it?" The square asked again as they rode kid rides outside of a supermarket, this time showing a blue crab with very strange claws. "Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?" He asked again as they, along with the star creature were apparently fixing the roof on someone's house, accompanied by a larger, thinner and much more terrifying grey crab. "Art thou feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?" The square asked in a ye olde accent, dressed as some kind of elf, the star dressed as a night and the first crab from the first clip, only with a much larger, spikier and dark purple right claw.
"What... did we just watch?" Ironwood asked, dumbfounded.
"I feel like I lost more brain cells watching those 17 seconds than I have my entire drinking career." Qrow said.
"It appeared to be some kind of children's cartoon. Although, something tells me not an educational one." Penny theorized.
"Come now. Just because it didn't make sense hardly makes it a terrible show. There's nothing wrong with making innocent nonsense to entertain small children." Ozpin said.
"As long as not every joke has to do with butts or farting, or being dumb on purpose." Katana grumbled, thinking of a soulless, mindless remake of a once beloved show about 5 teenage heroes. [1]
"Still, all of those crabs did look quite interesting." Pyrrha said.
"Yeah. That blue one's claws almost reminded me of my weapons. And that grey one looked pretty cool, too." Emerald said.
Aylia was then shown in the desert on a decently tall ledge, looking over a small open area where two small crabs were. "And you better think about your answer carefully. Today goes out to the Carapaceons, the crabs of the monster world! Not as immediately flashy as the..." He began, before cutting to a clip of a boy with curly blonde hair and glasses.
"Oh, my goooooood!" The boy cried out, displaying some truly cringe-worthy acting as the red crab from before slowly slid onto the screen from the left.
"Jeez, did that kid EVER take an acting class?" Coco asked.
"Coco, be nice. So he wasn't the greatest. No need to be mean." Velvet scolded.
"Well, there are B movies made to be bad on purpose, children. Not everything has to be a masterpiece. It's often in our greatest failures that our greatest achievements are found." Glynda told them wisely.
"Oh, yeah. My dad loved old B movies. So corny." Jaune laughed.
"As the fanciful Elder Dragons and their otherworldly power! I mean, they are just giant fucking crabs. You gotta understand, back in de day, they were truly magical and fascinating in there own right. So grab your shell and get comfy, because you're not ready for this information!" Rage declared, saying the word weirdly. "Like... Carapaceon. Look I'm not proud of that but I-I sat here for like five minutes, in silence trying to think of a crab joke and I, frankly I just wanna move one with my life. So... shut the fuck up." Rage defended his joke as Aylia jumped off the tall ledge she was on into the field with the two small crabs.
"Wow that was weak on the delivery." Yang said.
"But he still put more thought into it then you do with your puns." Blake countered with a smirk.
"OOOOOHHHH!" Ruby, Jaune, Nora and Coco all cried out at the epic burn Blake laid upon Yang.
Yang stammered, struggling to process words. "I am so offended right now!" She said, before crossing her arms and turning away. "Jerks." She grumbled.
"Everyone's a critic." Neo told her.
"You'll get one eventually, firecracker." Qrow assured her.
"And let's begin with their introduction, back when I was a rookie hunter I was, well I of course was not expecting to encounter them. As I trekked through the dessert, I saw the little Hermitaurs. I'd-I say 'little' I mean it's still like half the size of a person which is like, huge for a crab but I mean look at this in terms of the other monsters... You know what I'm getting off topic so we're just gonna move along." Rage told his story, becoming awkward and unsure at the end as Aylia ran up to a pair of crab-like creatures, dodging their attacks and slaying them with a few swings of her greatsword. [2]
"Yeah come on, I wanna get to the good stuff." Ruby demanded.
"Patience, little Rose. I'm sure he'll tell us plenty good stuff soon." Cinder told her.
"I bet you'd love to have some of those crab legs, huh, Blake?" Yang asked.
"Just because I love fish doesn't mean I enjoy eating crabs or lobster, big difference." Blake told her.
"But do you like crab meat? I must say, it is delicious." Weiss asked her feline teammate.
"I mean, yeah, I love it, but she shouldn't assume." Blake explained.
"But, the thought instantly occurred. 'Hang on, nature likes throwing a small monster at you and then is like- Surprise! there's always a huge leader-y drome-y alpha-ry version!' So I got excited for the potential and low and behold, Daimyo Hermitaur was the hunt target." Rage explained as a massive red crab dug its way up and out of the desert sands, revealed to have the skull of another monster on its back as a shell.
"Is that a skull it's using for a shell? SICK!" Yang cried out excitedly.
"It must be used for intimidation as well as protection. It certainly seems capable of both those things." Pyrrha said nervously.
"I guess two heads are better than one." Emerald said with a small smirk.
"Oh, gods. The puns are spreading..." Ironwood groaned.
"And let's just say that when I saw him..." Rage began, before a love song played as the crab was shown from different angles. "Now look, I'm not about to say any of the crabs are in my all-time favorite monsters, but they're definitely up there. Because you've got to understand, they were so vastly different to anything we encountered, from the usual flying and brute wyverns we hunt on a daily basis. It was huge moment of 'hang on, we could see essentially anything, the potential, any animal as a giant monster trying to kill us. Oh my!' And that honestly, seeing Hermitaur was one the the click." Rage started, before an actual loud CLICK was heard. "'I love this job' moments for me." He finished as Aylia ran around, evading both the Hermitaur and a strange herbivore chasing closely after her.
Everyone jumped at the click. "I hate it when he catches us off-guard like that." Jaune snapped.
"He certainly seems to accel at it. He lulls is into the story, then catches off unawares." Ren noted.
"He's a sneaky trickster!" Nora declared.
"And because of that, I will always respect him and his kin. Less so immediately after when I had to face piece of shit Blongonga, who is one of the most infuriatingly annoying, garbage monsters you've ever seen or are known to man, but that's fine. You can't win them all, although I will admit, the monkeys are fantastic, but they are not today's star! No!" Rage declared as Aylia dodged or blocked a few more swipes and even a shove from the crab's claws, before counterattacking and getting a solid slash down the creature's face.
"Wow, he really doesn't hide his own opinion, does he?" Emerald asked with some sarcasm in her voice.
"No, he doesn't. Even though he should so he doesn't influence unfamiliar audiences." Winter scolded.
"I wish he wasn't so mean to those poor monsters." Velvet said.
"You're too good for this world, Vel." Coco told her.
"So, they are, as I said, essentially just a giant crab, so they do a lot of crab things... that crabs do... they crab around- They're just big crabs, guys! But Hermit Crabs specifically are clearly what they evolved from. Normal, tiny Hermit Crabs are honestly right, proper good! I think they are cute little animals and they make great pets!" Rage explained, showing the crab run away from Aylia, before turning back to swipe at her with its claws, before changing to a video showing a large number of hermit crabs interacting with each other.
"Oh look at them, they're so cute with their stubby claw and spiral shells." Ruby gushed over the tiny crustaceans.
"They do make good pets too, one of my sisters had a few. Each with a shell painted differently." Jaune mentioned.
"Yes, but sadly you can't do much with them." Weiss said, everyone looking to her. "They were the only pets Father allowed me to have." She explained.
"And they have some quirky little customs that are just amazing! For example, when it comes time to upgrade shell size, because they're growing little precious so-and-so's! They will form a line. A queue to exchange homes! And, obviously as an English person, this just fills me with..." Rage began as indeed a line of many hermit crabs was shown starting at a decently large, empty shell as the crabs began to leave their current shells and move to the next biggest one in line, before triumphant sounding music was heard along with a choir.
"Why does it matter where Rage is from? Is switching houses as you grow larger a custom for them?" Penny asked.
"Um... I'm not sure to be honest with you." Katana told her. [3]
"Still, it's pretty efficient for all those crabs to exchange shells like that. A good way to make sure there's no fighting over shells." Cinder noted.
"Still a shame to be stuck with hand-me-downs instead of new stuff, though." Jaune said.
"The big one hops out and then the next biggest one hops in and so on and so forth until everyone is lovely taken care of. Now, when it comes to Daimyo Hermitaur, the monster... Well, it's nothing like that." Rage declared as the crabs where shown continuing to change shells, before finally coming back to the hunt. As Rage said the monster version was nothing like the normal crabs, crickets could then be heard as the crab monster burrowed underground and then erupted from right below Aylia, the horn of its skull shell rising first and hitting her to send her flying.
"Then what was the point!?" Yang demanded.
"It did seem really pointless." Blake agreed.
"I don't know, I liked seeing the little tiny crabs." Ruby said.
"But I wanna see and hear about the big one that's kicking Aylia's butt!" Nora snapped.
"Yeah, I just wanted to show you guys a lot of Hermit Crabs lining up. Okay? Look, I don't care. It's my video, I'm gonna do what I want, okay? Here's an asshole crab slowly peeling paint off a pipe. Why is he doing that? I don't know, but you go, little man! Seriously, what a prick! I love it!" Rage declared, showing a clip of a crab on a pipe hanging horizontally from the ceiling, slowly but surely scraping the paint off with its claws and dropping it to the floor below. However, it was soon revealed that the crab had peeled off and dropped down several feet of paint.
"Wow, that's a lot of peeled paint." Pyrrha said, a bit shocked.
"Yeah thug life!" Neo laughed.
"I'm not sure if my semblance could reverse that, since the paint is clearly peeling as it is." Glynda pondered.
"Gotta give him credit, though. That crabs a tough worker to peel all that off." Qrow said.
"You mean an anarchist." Winter said.
"So! Focus! Daimyo Hermitaur, then, also wears a shell. Hermit Crab. But the shell he wears is a Monoblos!" Rage explained as a bunch of green and orange striped raptors were chasing an Apceros, before a cartoon was shown with several people saying "Monorail". "Not a Diablos, a Monoblos and- I feel bad for the Monoblos, it's kind of been forgotten over the years because they don't often cause as much trouble as Diablos, so there's little call to hunt them and most hunters just see them as less interesting Diablos, the one horn instead of two, a crest of bone akin to a triceratops. Other than that, it's still charge-y, brutally, physically-type. It really is just one-horned Diablos and, I'm gonna say it, I do prefer the Mono to the Di, but I feel like I'm in the minority on that." Rage finished this explanation as the raptors cornered the Apceros, preparing to take it down, only for a Monoblos, whose head looked much like Daimyo Hermitaur's shell, to erupt from the ground and wreck the pack, also trying to charge the Hunter, who narrowly dodged its attack.
"I like it's head crest. It seems like a cool monster." Blake said.
"Too bad it sounds like it doesn't get the level of respect this Diablos does." Ren stated.
"Conversely, that likely means their population is doing better if they aren't constantly being hunted!" Penny reminded them.
"So, will we be seeing those two later?" Ozpin asked.
"Yes. Rage did a lore video about both of them in one video. And someone actually made a simulation video of Pyrrha fighting a Monoblos, but it's pretty inaccurate to how you act and how Monoblos fights and even moves, so there's not much point in showing it." Katana explained, leaving everyone shocked and surprised, no more than Pyrrha herself. [4]
"Either way, one of them dies, likely of old age and unchallenged, due to the size it would need to grow to in order to fit a Daimyo Hermitaur and the the Hermit Crab finds it and moves in. The skull, then, serves a trifecta of purposes, the primary one of course is defensive. You see, the rear half of a Hermitaur and, indeed, real Hermit Crabs is not encase in rigid shell like... Well, you imagine, right? They are in fact soft, flexible, malleable appendages designed to snake into an opening in a shell, or in this case a skull, hook 'round and lock it in place, thereby giving it mobile protection against predators and, in normal Hermit Crabs' case, the sun." Rage explained as a normal Hermit Crab was indeed seen doing this, sliding its soft body bit into a shell.
"Wow, so they're cute and smart!" Ruby squealed.
"It is always quite amazing how animals find ways to overcome their natural weaknesses." Pyrrha said.
"Ooh, maybe I should start breaking the bone armor off Grimm and wearing it myself!" Nora plotted.
"Nora, no!" Jaune said worriedly.
"Nora, yes!" Nora insisted.
"It also, then, acts offensively, able to reverse at you right quick to impale you upon the long-dead horn. The third factor, then is, of course, intimidation and disguise. It looks a lot more- well, terrifying than the crab half and, indeed, when it's buried in just the right way, you'd be forgiven and, indeed, the guild was tricked for a while too, in thinking the monster itself WAS the skull on the back. So, it's a very effective little way of life." Rage elaborated as a group of Palicos in the desert were shown walking up on a massive monster's skeleton, going to the Monoblos' skull and trying to break and take it, one Felyne sawing the horn while numerous others pulled on it with rope and another tried to help break it with a pickaxe. However, the Daimyo Hermitaur, sleeping underground, then woke up rose from the ground, walking away, unaware of the several Palicos holding onto ropes attached to it for dear life.
Everyone couldn't help but chuckle at the misfortune of the Palicos. "Yeah, maybe next time they should make sure it's dead before they start carving it." Emerald said.
"Sure, it may be a skeleton, but you never know if something's living IN the skeleton." Cinder agreed.
"I still shiver when the hyena's come out of the elephant's skull in Leo Emperor." Neo said.
"Past that, again, crab. It's got the claws, the pincers, it can grab and pin prey and hunters alike, slice through rock with a quick snap." Rage explained, accompanied by a snap sound. "And, generally, it's how it interacts with the world: two little grasping claws. Like those plastic things that you push the handle down and then the ends come together- grabber sticks! That's how a crab do with its arms." Rage stated as the image of a grabber stick was shown. "And they also act, then, as shield walls when it tucks its body, compacts in and makes itself nigh impenetrable, even the sharpest of implements being repelled by this fortress of red." He said as, indeed, the crustacean tucked its body parts in towards itself and held its claws out in front of it as shields to protect itself.
"You know now that I look at it, it's claws are wide enough to be used as shields." Weiss pointed out.
"So? You don't use shields." Nora said.
"I've been considering it. They could prove useful if I'm against a faster or more dexterous target. Or one with two weapons." Weiss explained.
"I'm sure you'd be great with a shield, Weiss." Ruby told her partner.
"Now, the Hermitaurs are actually calm, peaceful creatures, much preferring to retreat into shell, or use its powerful claws and legs to carve out great gouts of sandy Earth and make a hasty, tunneled escape. Though, when pressed, a Daimyo Hermitaur is not afraid to look in and rip apart the would-be aggressor. It's surprising speed powered by strengthened legs to launch itself skyward, thundering back down to Earth with concussive force, obliterating those caught under-shell." Rage explained as the Daimyo leapt high into the air and came crashing down, Aylia narrowly avoiding being where it crashed.
"Unbelievable. Of anything I thought to be capable of jumping such a height, a crab was NOT one of them." Ironwood said in shock.
"Yeah. I was definitely thinking that would be something that Glavenus or Deviljho could do." Jaune agreed.
"That's just an important lesson. Not to underestimate these creatures when they're brought to our world." Pyrrha told them.
"And when truly right ticked off, it starts to froth at the mouth, bubbles pouring forth. It is able to shoot a beam of, well... foamy, bubbly water, blasting back those that are too close. And really, it's a simple affair. It tries to run at you, whether that be the classic side walk into a swipe," Rage continued as Aylia mounted the monster as it bounded in place in an attempt to throw her off, while making crazy, blabbering noises. "Or straight towards you to bowl you over with its sheer bulk. It tries its best, it's not a hard monster, it's not beginner tier, but it's nothing really to be too worried about. However, it is a lot of fun to fight. It is quirky, you can see the personality. When it's completely holed up in its little protective formation, when it slowly moves its claws to check if you're gone, to check if you're still there, is it safe? It's actually quite sweet in its own way." Rage declared as the creature shoved Aylia onto her butt with its claws, before guarding its face with said claws, only to lower them to check if it was safe.
"Cuteness... too much... Can't resist..." Glynda said as she, Cinder and Winter were all clearly trying to restrain themselves, but simply couldn't.
"It's adorable!" Winter cried out.
"I'm even having second thoughts about eating it." Blake admitted.
"Looks like cuteness saves lives once again." Yang said, looking to Ruby, who pouted as she knew there were several occasions she got into trouble, but got out of it because people thought she was adorable.
"And when it does its little celebratory 'Fuck you!' snap-snap," Rage began as the Hermitaur spat out a massive stream of bubbles and walked to the side and plowing down Aylia with the huge stream.
"Fuck You!" A voice declared as if the Hermitaur was supposed to be saying it, raising itself up a bit and snipping its claws.
"Damn. Showed up by a crab. That can't be a good time." Qrow said.
"What a meanie!" Velvet pouted.
"Indeed. I was taught it was poor form to bully or belittle an opponent." Penny agreed.
"After it's sent you flying, it just feels like it's rubbed salt in the freshly bleeding, crab-based wound. But, admittedly, simple creatures they are." Rage finished talking about the base Daimyo. "Then you have the Plum Daimyo Hermitaur! Which is a Hermitaur that is... Purple. Purple now instead of red. It's a subspecies. Wears a Diablos skull now instead of Mono, it's the usual: bigger, faster, stronger. The main change is that its water blasts go from the stream of bubbles to a full-on jet cutter, making it a lot deadlier at range. That's about it- it's a bit more aggressive. That's about it." Rage explained with a bit less enthusiasm as he showed a dark purple Hermitaur wearing the skull of a creature with two horns, which was shooting a water cutter-like beam from its mouth in another picture.
"I kinda like the Plum Hermitaur. The purple look gives it a more exotic appeal." Coco praised.
"And it fires a jet of water like a cannon, that's so cool." Ruby said in awe.
"I've heard water cutters are even effective against steel. That makes that one dangerous crab." Cinder said.
"Still, I doubt you'd have much trouble boiling it, right?" Emerald asked, only to grow concerned when Cinder didn't immediately answer.
"Moving on then to the Shogun. This is a much more deadly force. And, by the way: Daimyo Hermitaur. Daimyo, the Feudal lord and then the stronger crab is the Shogun, the military leader who the Daimyo is subservient to. It's a nice little naming scheme that they got going on their when they first named these things." Rage took note of as a skull was seen moving along a ceiling, keeping whatever was under it out of sight. Suddenly, it dropped down, revealing itself to be a blue crab with a serrated horn and claws that ended in single points rather than the traditional snapping claws of a crab.
"Okay now this one looks intimidating." Neo said, a bit unnerved by the creature herself.
"Forget what I said, blue is a way better color for crabs then purple." Coco said.
"Those claws are quite fascinating. They don't look like any normal crab claws. Though, I'd rather not get a closer look." Glynda noted.
"Yeah, I'd be much happier out of reach of those claws." Jaune agreed nervously.
"So, the Shogun looks a lot more visually, let's say... interesting. The single horn, let's call it, protruding out, serrated itself and its claws are very much constructed differently, able to unfold into more slender, yet lengthy, serrated claws. This gives him the name, the sickle crab and indeed, he very much likes introducing you to his friend, Mr. Reaper. Wearing now a Gravious shell, the TITANIC armored of stone Wyvern that spends its time slowly moving through volcanic fields. This is an even better protection, harder by far and just as intimidating. It can also use this skull as an outlet for a huge jet of water from, presumably its abdomen instead of its mouth? I mean, it's cool that it comes out of the skull but, where it comes out of the crab itself, the Guild is stumped." Rage explained as the claws were shown in all of their glory, even sharpening them, making sparks fly everywhere. Also, the mighty Gravios was shown as it stood in a massive pool of lava, then diving into it. Finally, as Rage said, the Cenataur shot a jet of water from the mouth of the skull on its back.
"Whoa baby, look at that beast! And did is just dive into lava?" Nora asked, both amazed and in disbelief at the sight of Gravios.
"Yep. That would be Gravios, one of the largest and most powerful monsters that isn't an Elder Dragon." Katana declared.
"I love how it makes sparks when grinding it's claws together, like they're actually made of steel." Ruby said in awe and wonder as she saw the Cenataur's mighty claws.
"Yeah. Almost reminds me of the Grimm Reaper. I can only imagine that thing helping her scythe down a bunch of Grimm." Qrow chuckled fondly, remembering his idol as Katana pondered dropping off a Cenataur to the former silver-eyed warrior. And maybe giving the old lady her real eyes back while she was at it.
"But it can crawl up ceilings and walls and fire jet beams of water at you, sweeping across the landscape, tearing up the ground as it goes and woe betide you if you get hit because you will be beside yourself. Seriously, your legs will be over there and your torso over there." Rage declared, making a morbid joke as Aylia just managed to dodge being pounced on by the massive crab.
Yang, Neo, Nora, Blake, Cinder and Qrow could help but laugh at the joke. "Nice! I love dark jokes like that!" Neo laughed.
"They're definitely a lot riskier jokes that usually have a lot more reward behind them." Cinder agreed, giggling as well.
"They're pretty good, until you hear like every assassin joke EVER from Mercury." Emerald said.
"Well, I found it quite morbid and inappropriate." Winter declared with Weiss, Glynda, Pyrrha and Ruby agreeing with her.
"Exactly. Death and dismemberment are not something to joke about." Glynda said.
"It just seems cruel to me." Pyrrha agreed.
"He is much faster, his shell lighter yet no less durable. And he has much deadlier moves in his arsenal, sharpening his claws together, leaping at you and causing you to bleed profusely upon contact. Other than that, he does share a lot of the similar moves, adding his own little spins to them. Such as his little spin, where he sweeps 'round, claws out and cleaves away everything near him. The Shogun, then, are a lot more individualistic, having distinct personalities from ACTUAL PSYCHOPATHS to 'Let's have a big hug! I'm probably still gonna eat you, though'. But the point is there are shades and you have to always approach with gaution- gaution? GOtion, caution... Fuck it I'm gonna leave that in'. If you indeed have to approach at all." Rage laughed at his mistake while Aylia evaded several more scything strikes from the beast and landing her own.
Ruby laughed at this. "I like that, 'approach with gaution'. I'm gonna use that." She said.
"Ruby, you can't just make up words and expect them to be a thing." Weiss told her.
"Well as your leader I hear by declare it part of our vocabulary!" Ruby declared, playfully sticking her tongue out.
"Now, you can fully crack and crumble the Gravios shell and exposing his little nubby back for some REAL slaughter, but upon being exposed, he will immediately dig down and find another from the many bones encased in the Earth below. So, yeah! I like the Shogun. I prefer the red coloring, but I can't deny the Shogun is distinctly... well, Cooler." Rage declared as Aylia knocked the beast onto one side and landed some powerful hits before it got back up.
Suddenly, a clip was shown of a reptilian humanoid alien of dark purple, red and white coloring, looking to the sky. "I'mma kill it!" He declared.
Everyone found the scene a bit random, but still got a chuckle out of it after Katana explained that his name was Cooler and Rage had used wordplay.
It then returned to the fight as Aylia gained some distance and the Shogun sharpened its claws again. "So, this one also has its own subspecies, the TERROR Shogun Cenataur! This time it's... Orange!" Rage declared, showing an image of an orange Cenataur hanging from the ceiling with a much darker skull.
"Ya know, the orange color actually makes it look more intimidating. Almost like its's angry." Jaune said.
"Yeah it does look pretty 'steamed', eh EH?" Yang joked, looking around, only to find disapproval wherever she looked. "...You people have no taste in comedy." She huffed.
"Ironic coming from someone you thinks puns are funny." Blake countered.
"Yeah, again. Not the most creative. Now, this guy is appreciably faster, speed is his forte. The lightest of the crabs, though his cost for this, his claws are... well, soft. A lot less deadly than his regular kind. But that doesn't matter too much when he's behind you faster than you can say 'Nani?!' at the claw protruding from your chest." Rage declared as a few more pictures of the Terror Cenataur was shown (Everyone shivered at that thought). "Now, both him and his Daimyo counterpart are fairly high up the food chains, not quite apex level, but they're certainly able to handle many of the large monsters they encounter. The Shogun definitely more, though ironically the Shogun preys upon much smaller creatures, even down to insects compared to the Daimyo, who likes large herbivores and a good bit of meat. But in either case, monsters generally don't trifle with them, if only because just getting through their shells is not worth the effort for the reward of crab flesh beneath." Rage explained as Aylia rolled to avoid a pouncing slice, then broke a claw with her own slice.
"I would say the meat would be well worth the challenge." Weiss declared.
"Indeed! Crab meat is very nutritious. It is low in fat and high in omega-3 acids, which protect against heart disease and aid brain development." Penny explained.
"Emerald, make a note. We need to put more crab in Mercury's diet." Cinder said, getting giggles from her teammates.
"So! Now it is time, then, for the big one." Rage declared as powerful, epic and terrifying music began to play as a massive crab-like leg stomped on the ground. Slowly but surely, different angles revealed an absolutely massive crab monster with an equally massive dragon skull for a shell as it slowly approached a fortress in a mountain pass.
"So, here's this giant enemy crab." A man explained as he showed off a game, which involved a boss fight against a giant crab, as he said.
"Sweet mercy look at the size of that thing!" Velvet cried out in shock and alarm.
"And look at the skull on its back. I don't even want to think of how big of the monster it belongs to is." Glynda said in concern.
How is anyone even supposed to fight that?" Emerald asked, horrified.
"Shen Gaoren!" Rage declared, before struggling to decide how to pronounce the name. "I'm just gonna say Gaoren and you're gonna deal with that. He is COLOSSAL and that is putting it lightly, he is an absolute UNIT. Standing as one of the tallest monsters full stop, likely a relative of the Japanese spider crab with legs spindly and lengthy, claws extended to match with scissor-like pincers adorning the ends, able to go through fortresses like butter. Though he is, again, like his smaller little buddies, fairly peaceful. He only causes damage by... Moving places, he's just too big for that not to be a problem if he happens to choose to go through populated areas." Rage explained as several hunters wielding a bow and arrow fired at the creature's feet as it completely ignored them.
"That is awesome!" Nora cried out.
"Not if it's near any populated area, Nora." Ren reminded her.
"Is there a kind of Grimm that big, that just by moving, it can cause huge problems?" Jaune asked.
"Fortunately, no. Salem has likely realized if she made such a Grimm, most would be easily discovered and dispatched before they reached any major settlements. But monsters like these with such impressive armor, I'm not sure." Ozpin told them.
"He is known as the Fortress Crab, wearing then this time as his shell, Lao Shan Lung's skull. A fully-grown adult of mind-boggling scope. You see, the most commonly seen Lao Shan Lung's heading through the same mountain pass as Shen Gaoren... It's a very popular theory that they are juveniles and the one piece of tangible evidence that points to that being true is the size of the skulls on the backs of Shen Gaoren as they are dwarfing the ones we normally get stabby with ourselves." Rage explained as a massive ash-colored dragon, easily larger than any Grimm they'd ever seen (minus the Grimm whale), VERY slowly stomped through the mountain path on its way to the fortress.
"WHAT!? How can a creature nearly the size of Beacon be considered a juvenile?" Winter questioned.
"Man all these monsters are making Grimm look like pincushions." Qrow said in shock.
"It looks tall enough to reach Atlas standing on its hind legs." Ironwood said in disbelief.
"Outside of this, then, he... isn't all that. A lot more muted in color, all grays and blacks, the flashiest thing that he can do is light up with red boiling veins of blood in the tips of his feet once you have done enough harm to them and the agony he feels is nigh unbearable. Now, he will try to stamp and crush the hunters chipping away at him if he gets the chance and he likes to rear up to full height and act as a natural watch tower, scanning the surrounding environs for prey and a place to stay. Because, indeed, he does like to just sit, curled up in his shell, passing away the days, thinking... I guess... Crab thoughts..." Rage said uncertainly as the hunters continued to shoot at him as it kept turning, appearing to try and find a way to escape the hunters constantly firing on him.
A clip was then shown of a large red rock with large grooves in it, where a small gray crab was seen, before the camera zoomed in as the crab brought its claw up to its neck area (or what a crab has for a neck) and dragged it across in a threatening gesture. "I'M GONNA F***ING KILL YOU!" A voice clip from Vegeta played as if the crab said it.
"Damn, who knew crabs could be such gangsta's." Coco giggled.
"I don't know why, but a crab doing that is somehow more intimidating." Velvet said a bit nervously as she held onto Coco's arm.
"That's one crab I might hesitate about eating." Blake said, a little unnerved by the violent crab herself.
"It's just a crab, I could take it out, no problem." Neo boasted.
"Oh, really? I seem to remember you crying as Mercury chased you around with a crab once, threatening to let it pinch your butt." Cinder taunted, causing Neo to pout.
"Its signature weapon, then, outside of course, it's general size, is acid. It can form a great glob of the stuff within the skull and launch it out like artillery bombardment, melting through stone at a rate that would make Alien blood jealous. So, needless to say, armor does not fare well and you have hunters who have been fused and encased to their very equipment after taking a direct hit, dying screaming in pain." Rage explained as, indeed, the Shen Gaoren turned towards the fortress with the skull facing it, opening up and firing a giant ball of green acid, colliding with the fortress and causing it to shake.
"So, it fires acid out its ass?" Yang asked.
Ruby stopped and slowly turned towards her sister with a glare. "...You ruined it. It was an awesome attack and you ruined it." She said in a deadpan expression.
And everyone cringed at Rage's description of hunters dying a horrible death at Shen's acid. "That's horrible." Winter said.
"Could water be poured on them or something to try and dilute the acid?" Penny asked.
"From the sound of things, the acid would be too strong. Unless there's a literal ocean to throw them in immediately. And even then, the damage would likely be too much all at once. The only thing you can do is shoot the person suffering quickly to put them down and end their misery, like a horse with a broken leg." Ironwood explained.
"It's always been a shame that Shen's not been seen very much, Cause I-I do have a soft spot for him as I do with all of the crabs." Rage said remorsefully. "I don't know it's cool to have such a ginormous crab in the world like, imagine when this guy molts. You could live in the shell he leaves behind, talk about a shell-tered life if ya did." Rage joked.
"Ugh... He's almost as bad as Yang." Blake groaned.
"HEY, I thought that one was pretty good." Yang defended.
"I... Thought it was alright, too." Jaune admitted.
"It would be an interesting concept to build a house from the creature's molted skin, though. Clearly, there would need much sanitizing work, but it could offer homes to the homeless." Glynda noted.
"And lastly, then, I should touch on the Deviants. Daimyo Hermitaur has the STONE FIST HERMITAUR! That is a... larger than normal one which has one claw very much enlarged, hence the stone fist, it's... stronger, better faster, all that good stuff. Tiny different coloring and it can do a few extra spin-y moves and can move in the air after it's jumped to make it more deadly. It's not the most interesting deviant in the world, just coming about from a mutation while young, the claws never stopped growing in an accelerated rate to the rest of the body, hardened a lot more, nigh impenetrable to any kind of weaponry... It's effective! Yay! Admittedly, I do really like it, but it's not the craziest of changes." Rage explained as Aylia was seen facing off against a much larger Hermitaur with larger claws, but nothing too crazy compared to the original fight outside of the size difference.
"Lame." Neo said.
"Just some bigger crab legs. We'd have to share." Emerald said, looking at Blake with a smirk, getting a blush from the Faunus girl.
"Still, the claws are impressive. Someone could probably make nice shield out of those." Cinder said. She focused on offense way more than defense, so she wouldn't have much use for a shield, but couldn't deny one could be helpful, especially if it was as impenetrable as Rage claimed.
"And then we have, of course, the Rustrazor Shogun, who uses a Glavenus skull instead of a Gravios, sharpening his own claws in the Whetstone-esque jaw of his dead compatriot and... well, has a lot of fun being a budding mathematician, dividing everything in sight in half. His claws are one of the sharpest natural weapons known to any monster imaginable. But, he has to keep sharpening them, otherwise they will deteriorate, rust and fall apart, such is the cost for his quite literal addiction to grinding his bladed arms against the skull. But it is a lot of fun both just to see that skull on his back and to just face the onslaught of bladed sparks as he sharpens his way to bleeding you out." Rage finished as a Shogun Cenataur, indeed with a Glavenus skull on its back was shown sharpening its claws in the Glavenus' mouth, making them look far deadlier, before it attacked Aylia with the claws, but she side stepped and slashed straight down the beast's face.
"I mean on one hand it's using my monster's head as a shell which is unsettling. But at the same time it's pretty cool seeing Glavenus' skull on the back of a giant crab." Jaune said, a bit conflicted.
"Well, it won't be your Glavenus. I'm sure the two of you could handle a Shogun Cenataur, or anything you come up against. And even if you can't, my Nerscylla and I won't be too far away." Pyrrha promised.
"And you can count on Mizutsune and I." Ren added.
"Yeah! Team JNPR and our monsters can't be beaten!" Nora cheered.
"Those crabs were awesome! The perfect blend of cute, cool and epic!" Ruby declared.
"They were pretty awesome. I feel like they'd be fun to fight against." Jaune agreed.
"I want to see what they taste like." Blake said.
"Honestly, so do I." Weiss said.
"And they're so unique from each other, despite being the same kind of monster." Velvet added.
"Indeed. You'd have to go in with an entirely different strategy for each of them. And as a combat teacher, that is something I approve of." Glynda said.
"Okay, then. Cinder, your turn to choose who goes next." Katana said.
"Let's see..." Cinder said, looking around at those who hadn't seen their monsters yet. She looked to Velvet and found herself curious at what kind of monster this crazy world had to offer someone like her. "Let's see the bunny girl's monster next." She decided.
"It's Velvet, but thank you, Cinder." Velvet said with a smile.
"Well, sorry to say, but before we see your monster, Velvet, I have to show you another one because it is the reason behind the greatest story of your monster." Katana explained.
"Oh. I guess that's fine. It's only gonna be like another 20 minutes or so, I can wait a bit." She said.
"Alright, then. Prepare yourself, because this monster is by far one of the most terrifying. Prepare for... Gore Magala." Katana warned them, playing the next video.
A/N: Thanks for reading as always! Hope you enjoyed!
[1] I'm pretty sure we all know what show we're talking about. That show is actively TRYING to rot and corrupt children's minds and you CANNOT convince me otherwise.
[2] I try to keep it as close to what's happening in the videos with the description, but it would get very weird very quick if an actual hunter like Aylia's supposed to be just stood around as monster's attacked her, not doing anything.
[3] Yeah, whatever Rage was referencing here, I didn't get it. Could someone please explain?
[4] Yes, there is a video of Pyrrha fighting a Monoblos. Just look up Pyrrha vs. Monoblos. I was actually going to show it in a bonus chapter, but then I decided... Well, exactly what I had Katana say about the video.