A/N: Thanks as always to qazse for help with reactions and thanks to my brother Sai for making the video, "The Bumbling Bird! Gypceros Lore". Be sure to watch along as you read.
Sai and Aiden were seen having a conversation. "Man, Sai. Great takedown. That Barroth is a beauty of a specimen." Aiden praised as a sleeping Barroth was seen in the research area.
Sai seemed quite proud of this himself. "Aww, thanks man. It was nothing, really. It was actually super easy, thanks to my trusty HAMMER." The Sapphire Star declared as he raised up a familiar sight... the giant turkey leg hammer.
Many laughed at the sight of the familiar hammer, while the Atlesians could only groan. "Oh, not this again..." Weiss groaned.
"Why would he keep such a foolish weapon?" Ironwood questioned.
Winter's eyebrow was even twitching in irritation. "And here I was hoping we were done with these ludicrous weapon designs." She sighed.
Qrow smirked at this. "You guys should know by know, 'logic' and 'sanity' don't apply with monsters or hunters." He told them.
Ruby, Yang, Nora and Neo were still giggle from the hammer, until Nora's stomach growled. "Oh, man. Now I'm hungry for turkey legs." Nora groaned.
"We'll have to get some when we get home. Or maybe some fried chicken." Yang said.
"You girls remember you can make anything you want here, right?" Razara questioned, summoning a Swanson, which is a turkey leg wrapped in bacon, for herself, Yang and Nora.
"Turkey leg... With BACON..." Nora said, drooling over her new treat.
"Aww, yeah! That's what I'm talking about!" Yang said, tearing into it like a ravenous animal, much to Weiss disgust.
"Ugh. You have NO table manners what to speak of." She said snootily.
"Yang... I know I taught you table manners before I left." Summer groaned in embarrassment at her stepdaughter's ravenous eating habits.
Crickets could be heard as Aiden was clearly not impressed. "Seriously, dude? That has got to be the goofiest thing I've ever seen." He told his friend, trying not to laugh.
Sai, however, DID laugh at this. "Oh, you wanna talk about the goofiest thing you've ever seen? Well, if you think it's this hammer, you ain't seen nothing yet." The host assured his fellow hunter, before everything went black.
"Yeah, right. What could POSSIBLY be goofier than that?" Jaune asked.
"You?" Cinder asked teasingly, her smirk growing at the blonde boy's indignant "Hey!".
Akasha could be seen walking through the swamps of the Old World. "Nature- and really, life in general- is fragile, unpredictable things. Sometimes the smallest things can have the biggest impact, such as in 1987, when a squirrel caused the stock market to crash after chewing through the wires of the Nasdaq automated trading computer, interrupting twenty million trades and almost sending America into a second Great Depression." Sai explained as his daughter fought some Bullfangos.
Katana told them a bit about Earth's history, so they knew what the Great Depression was. And they were shocked by this knowledge. "Seriously?! A squirrel could've caused another Great Depression? That's insane!" Blake said in shock.
"That poor squirrel!" Pyrrha cried out worriedly, the other two members of the cinnamon trio gasping in horror as well.
"I hope it didn't get electrocuted!" Velvet said in concern.
"But if it did survive, people probably called it the most evil squirrel ever!" Ruby added.
"Did you all already forget the part of how it almost destroyed their economy and left countless people homeless?" Ren questioned.
"It is quite ironic how we keep advancing technology to be the best it can be, yet it can be disabled by the simplest of things." Ozpin admitted, seeing how well it applies to our world as well as theirs.
A demonic-looking Deer Faunus was seen laughing. "So many orphans." He chuckled and walked deeper into the building he was in.
Many were appalled at this. "How could he laugh at something so horrible?!" Summer asked in horror.
"He finds homeless orphans living on the streets, cold and hungry to be amusing?!" Glynda demanded.
"That smile of his will look a lot worse with his teeth knocked out." Ilia growled, turning red with her hair and freckles yellow.
"Or his legs broken!" Nora added.
"You know, obviously, it's still bad... but it's also still impressive a little squirrel can do all that." Qrow admitted.
"Yeah. Like, as horrible as it would've been, you've gotta give Cinder's gang credit for almost wiping out Vale twice." Yang agreed.
The Vampire-Demon Hybrid was then seen facing off against several fearsome monsters. "And the same is true for monsters as well. Think for a moment on what you might assume to be the most problematic monster outside of Elder Dragons or Gore Magala, I guarantee you won't get it. It's not Astalos, it's not Seregios and it's not Yian Garuga. No, the most problematic non-apocalyptic monster is none other than this beast that is derpiness personified. The Strange Poison Bird, Gypceros." The Sapphire Star declared, showing a large, bulky and VERY goofy-looking Wyvern running through the swamp like a chicken.
"Oh, hey. I think we've seen that thing before. Can't exactly remember where, though." Coco said.
"I can answer that. We saw it in Nerscylla's lore, as the spider's main prey. And we JUST saw it in Duremudira's lore, as it was upset about Duremudira taking its trick of playing dead." Penny recounted.
"You forgot a monster we JUST saw? Maybe time to get your memory checked, Coco." Neo teased.
"I think playing dead was A LITTLE overshadowed by it freezing the whole room it was in and making ice meteors." Coco remined her.
The young Huntress was crouched down, watching the creature from a distance. "So, at first the Gypceros doesn't look like much, just a big bulky Wyvern with greyish-blue hide, a large, blunted beak from which some teeth can be seen sticking out of the front, giving it a rather goofy look, a head crest that looks easy to dismiss at first and a tail that looks like- um... Well, uh... A door stop! Yeah, that's it!" The host listed off the creature's features as they were focused on, before showing a spring door stop.
Many laughed when the doorstop was shown. "You KNOW he was thinking of something else." Roman chuckled.
"Can you blame him? I'm surprised that thing doesn't need a censor bar or something. It definitely wouldn't fly on Remnant TV." Emerald agreed.
"I feel like there's more to his tail that that, though." Adam said suspiciously.
"Pretty much every monster that has a tail has used it for offense." Hazel noted.
Ruby and Yang were giggling up a storm, focusing more on the actual doorstop than the tail. "We used to love playing with those doorstops as kids!" Yang explained.
"I loved that sound and how it jiggled like that." Ruby agreed.
"I can confirm this. It was SO annoying! They made those springs make that loud-ass noise ALL DAY!" Summer groaned.
Akasha continued to observe the Wyvern from afar. "The creature is also only at the middle ground of the food chain. It is omnivorous, mostly feasting on mushrooms and insects, with Flashbugs and Thunderbugs being a particular favorite. Generally, they are quite timid and will much prefer to run from a fight rather than actually engage, but there are DEFINITELY exceptions to this rule. Not to mention, they are also rather curious and will investigate any changes to their environment they catch wind of." Sai explained as his daughter slowly crept closer to the beast.
"Really? THIS THING is the biggest threat to society besides Elder Dragons and Gore Magala? I'm finding that hard to believe." Coco said.
"I'm pretty sure this whole thing is about not underestimating monsters. That was like the first point Sai made." Blake reminded her.
"Wonder what the exception is that makes it engage instead of run?" Ilia wondered.
"Something tells me it's going to be something ridiculous." Cinder said.
Akasha was now fighting the beast. "But make no mistake, this creature is an absolute MENACE, not the strongest or fastest, but they are very intelligent and clever, which is a dangerous thing for a monster to be. And they are hated by all who know of it, but especially by caravan traders and the Guildmarms who assign hunters quests for these beasts. You see, Gypceros LOVE shiny objects, often collecting them en masse to show off to a potential mate, whoever has the most bling getting the girl. To that end, they are often found near trade routes and attack caravans and using their surprisingly dexterous beaks in order to steal anything shiny they can find, to the point several trade routes actually had to be closed due to their constant attacks, leaving many businesses and even entire villages without supplies and putting a significant dent in the flow of commerce. It's the squirrel over again... They've even been known to chase down hunters who might have shiny ores dangling from their belt pouches." The Sapphire Star explained as the beast chased down the Huntress.
The group was quite surprised the creature had such a reputation. "Yikes. They look pretty harmless, what could they have done to make EVERYONE hate them?" Jaune wondered.
"It's as Miss Belladonna said, Mister Arc. This is just another example of not underestimating any foe." Ozpin reiterated.
Then they heard the reason it will attack hunters instead of fleeing. For shiny things. "I was right. Ridiculous." Cinder said.
Upon hearing the creatures stole shiny objects, a burning rage was suddenly seen in Weiss' eyes. "They must burn!" She said furiously.
"Whoa! What's got you on a warpath, Ice Princess?" Yang asked.
"It's reminding me FAR too much of a time a flock of crows stole some of me necklaces, bracelets and other accessories when I was younger. And those were NOT cheap. If this menace thinks it can steal things, especially from ME, it will be SORELY mistaken!" Weiss declared.
"Still, I'm surprised something that big and clumsy-looking is dexterous to steal things. I would've just thought it's bulky beak would smash into someone like a hammer and send them flying." Emerald admitted.
"So, I get he just said it helps them get mates, but it's still weird something that kinda dopey would want to steal a bunch of shiny stuff." Velvet said.
"Actually, Velvet, collecting shiny objects is quite common amongst many bird species. Especially crows and magpies." Penny interjected.
The creature then started launching purple globules at the Vampire-Demon hybrid. "And, in case its title of 'The Strange Poison Bird' didn't tip you off, Gypceros' main defense mechanism is a highly active Poison Sac that lets them spew out huge globs of venom at potential threats. On it's own, this wouldn't be a problem, as the poison is actually quite weak, barely even a threat to humans, only as bad as a nasty case of poison ivy. However, as I said, this Poison Sac is highly active, allowing it to produce huge quantities of poison in quick succession, greater levels of poison earning greater reactions until it can become insanely lethal to just about anything. To make matters worse, Gypceros are quite jumpy, a Kelbi walking by and stepping on a twig being sufficient to make the Wyvern freak out and spew poison everywhere. To the point it has left small poison ponds in certain areas of its habitat." The host explained as Akasha did indeed stand next to a small pond of poison.
Many of the students seemed disappointed after hearing how weak the poison was. "Well, that's rather underwhelming. Most other monsters poisons were severe and immediately debilitating. This just sounds like an annoyance more than anything." Ren admitted.
"I wouldn't be so sure, Mr. Ren. Sai did say it was highly active." Glynda said, rolling her eyes a bit at her students continuing to miss the lesson of "don't underestimate this thing".
And then they heard it's quantity solution to the quality problem. "Oh, wow. That IS a lot of poison." Pyrrha said in shock to just how much venom the creature was spitting.
"That's kind of lame that something THAT BIG freaks out that easily, though. What a baby." Neo giggled.
"Some call it cowardice, I call it caution. That's how you stay alive, kiddo." Summer told her future stepdaughter-in-law.
"Whole ponds of poison. That actually sounds like a decent challenge." Adam admitted.
"Especially since that will limit your movement and add area hazards. You'll have to be smart to work around that." Hazel agreed.
Gypceros continued to launch poison at the young Huntress. "And this is not where our problem with poison ends. You see, while it's only mildly irritating to humans, it is incredibly deadly to plant life, killing it with only the slightest bit of exposure. This, combined with Gypceros' jumpy nature, makes it a huge problem if Gypceros ever wanders to any nearby agricultural sights, wiping out entire fields of crops in a moment's notice. So, in other words, this creature is a threat to our economy AND our food supply. So, you can understand why, whenever we get a report of a Gypceros, the general reaction is-" Sai began as Akasha went on the offensive.
A skinny young man in a red shirt suddenly pointed to something. "Get that motherfucker!" He declared, before a team of mercenaries dressed in red ran out of some sort of warehouse, guns blazing.
The adults were suddenly shocked at this and full on board with making this thing a top priority. "No wonder they hate it! Obviously, we all need food, but crops are absolutely VITAL to certain areas that eat more fruits and vegetables than meat and other food groups." Winter said in concern.
"Not to mention, selling crops and similar produce is the main income of a number of towns throughout Vale, Mistral and even Atlas." Ironwood added with equal levels of concern.
"Yeah. Heck, one time I made a killing by stealing some poor couple's corn and selling it for triple the price they did. If people need it enough, they'll pay the money. This thing is a threat to wallets everywhere!" Roman said.
"And let's not forget, if it's spewing poison ponds in the forest and killing plant life there, it's probably wiping out the food of a lot of herbivores." Qrow threw in as well.
"Indeed. This creature is essentially an economic nightmare as well an ecological one." Glynda said worriedly.
Thankfully, a bit of levity returned at the "Get that motherfucker" clip, earning a round of laughter from the students and less mature adults. "That is TOTALLY something I would do!" Nora laughed.
"I'm TOTALLY using that line on some Grimm when we get back." Yang giggled.
Akasha was now vaulting over and around the monster. "So, what does Gypceros bring to the table in terms of combat? Well, he's a big boy, actually THE heaviest Bird Wyvern, so he has a lot of weight to throw around, usually in the form of charging you and running around like a chicken with its head cut off, sometimes while shooting out poison as well. And their beaks are strong and bony for powerful attacks, while also being dexterous enough to steal items from hunters, similarly to Chameleos. But, he's not as smart as Chameleos is about it, usually just stealing shiny things instead of important things. But, one of the most difficult things about hunting a Gypceros is actually harming the beast. You see, Gypceros does not possess and tough scales or bony plating for protection, instead having a very smooth and flexible hide known as Rubbery Hide, resistant to electricity and most forms of damage: arrows and shells do not pierce, blades slide along it harmlessly and blunt weapons bounce off like nothing." The host informed as, indeed, Akasha's attacks bounced right off.
"Okay, that's pretty cool. I never would've thought having REALLY smooth, slippery skin could stop things from hurting you." Jaune said.
"Alvida would like a word with you." Tekko told him.
"One Piece weeb." Razara insulted her sister with a roll of her eyes.
"Still, gotta admit, that's pretty cool. I wonder if it moisturizes?" Coco wondered with a smirk.
The more rational members, however, were struggling to believe this. "B-but how!? That doesn't make any sense! Hard armor is way more difficult to damage than normal, soft skin! How does that even work!?" Weiss asked.
"Exactly! Greater hardness equals greater durability! This is common knowledge! It's why we don't make weapons out of pillows!" Summer agreed.
"It... Actually kind of makes sense. Softer things stretch a lot more so the impact of blunt objects or pressure from a cutting weapon is mitigated, not to mention, the material may also bunch up and stop the blade of whatever is cutting them, so the damage they can inflict is seriously lessened." Emerald said.
"Every time I think nature can't impress me any more, it finds a way." Blake praised.
"I know, right?! It's like the polar opposite of Espinas, but it still works! That's so cool!" Ruby cried out in amazement.
The young Huntress was briefly seen fighting a Khezu. "Likely an adaptation to counter its ecological rival, Khezu, the Rubbery Hide is highly resistant to electricity, as stated before, but also highly water resistant as well, protecting it from humidity and the discomforts that come with it, such as disease. And, as a LOVELY little side effect, bacterial colonies tend to prosper on this Rubbery Hide. So, let's just say, it's easy to tell when a Gypceros is around." Sai groaned as Akasha now fought Gypceros again.
A man in a rice hat was then seen smelling something. "Something smells awfully like shit." He said in disgust of the scent that was assaulting his nose.
Many groaned at hearing these creatures smell terrible. "Of course. Because why wouldn't it smell bad?" Glynda complained.
"Is it too much to ask for a monster that smells like cinnamon? Or flowers?" Weiss asked.
"Dang. And here I was thinking their hide would be great for our clothing lines. Not if they smell like a landfill." Neo said in disgust.
"So, we'd have to rub some perfume under our noses before we could even hunt one." Roman groaned.
"Honestly, unless it uses its stench to ward off predators like skunks, why would it need this?" Winter asked.
"Well, actually, Winter, animals use their fecal matter in several useful ways, such as marking their territory, communication, or even eating it for some extra emergency nutrients." Penny said, to which many groaned.
"Ugh... Thank you, Penny. That was VITAL information we all needed. Like the lizard squirting blood from its eyes." The elder Schnee groaned. "And since you're not programmed to understand sarcasm, I'll just tell you, PLEASE stop telling us things like this." She pleaded.
The Vampire-Demon hybrid's attacks bounced off the monster once again. "And, as I said before, this hide is highly elastic and flexible, leaving its skin loose to move freely, such as the case of its tail, which can extend and lash out at attackers like a rubbery whip... A pink, fleshy thing that extends... Why do I not like the sound of that?" The Sapphire Star pondered to himself as, indeed, the creature extended its tail like a whip, forcing Akasha to back off.
Many of the more lewd members of the cast laughed at this. "Well, Emerald, you were talking about a censor bar earlier, but now I think we REALLY need it." Qrow laughed.
"I don't know about you guys, but this thing's actually starting to get scary. I know I've got... the willies." Coco added.
"Yeah, you could say that tail attack puts people in a bit of A PICKLE!" Nora giggled. [1]
Meanwhile, the prudes (The Atlesians, Glynda and Summer) groaned at this. "Don't we get enough of these dirty jokes from rage?" The Rose matriarch questioned.
"Honestly, why do they feel the need to add such childish and immature humor?" Winter complained.
"A bit of levity every so often is appreciated, but they're supposed to be teaching us how to deal with deadly monsters. Is it too much to ask for a bit of professionalism?!" Ironwood demanded.
The beast was then seen snapping its beak, making a spark as its head crest smacked against said beak. "And it also allows for the Gypceros' second greatest line of defense. You see, due to its main diet of glowing insects, Flashbugs and Thunderbugs, as well as its tendency to eat special minerals known as lightstones, which produce small flashes of light when struck, similar to flint, these stones SOMEHOW make their way into the Gypceros' head crest, combining into much larger and stronger Lightcrystals and Novacrystals. So, in combat, Gypceros' flexible Rubbery Hide allows its head crest to move forward and collide with its beak, causing a spark. And after a few strikes, this will create a massive flash of light to temporarily blind threats or prey, allowing Gypceros to either attack or escape. And, since this blinding flash happens right above their eyes, they've adapted and gained complete immunity to being flashbanged themselves." Sai explained as the Wyvern let out a blinding flash of light, leaving Akasha stunned.
"Oh, so it's kind of like Tzitzi-Ya-Ku! That's so cool! It's a living flashbang!" Ruby said excitedly.
"It's certainly a useful tactic. And not something someone would expect, meaning they wouldn't be ready for it." Hazel noted, a bit impressed.
"That could make it both a useful partner and a dangerous enemy, as it could either grant you an opening, or make an opening against you. But even as an ally, you still have to be prepared for the flash. That makes it quite the wildcard in a fight." Adam said, intrigued.
"I'm just wondering why it would want to eat ROCKS? For something like Kushala or Dodo, it makes sense, it's its their MAIN diet, but if this thing eats bugs and mushrooms, why eat rocks?" Weiss questioned.
"It's actually a common occurrence, Weiss. It helps the animals with digestion. It's common enough for animals that do this to be given the name of Gastroliths." Penny told her.
But suddenly, it seemed as though the young Huntress had slain the beast. "And, just in case you forgot, I'll remind you: Gypceros is highly intelligent. Enough so that, if it realizes its tricks are not allowing it to win the fight, it will play dead in an attempt to get its attackers to lower their guard, only to lash out wildly and spring back to its feet to knock down any predator coming in for their supposed meal or hunters coming in to carve and collect their spoils from the hunt. While this works for animals, it's pretty comically bad by human standards, at least nine times out of ten. You'd have to either be a complete idiot or total noob to fall for this." The host explained as Akasha still continued to attack the supposedly dead monster.
"Okay, that's actually pretty interesting to play dead like that. Most animals don't want to mess with something that died, they usually prefer live prey, because if it dies, that probably meant something was wrong with it. And in some cases, like possums, they can release scents that predators either find unpalatable, or they believe could be harmful, like how we don't eat things that smell like they've gone bad. Or, you know, it just lowers their guard." Emerald said.
"Aww, I actually think it's kind of cute." Velvet admitted.
"Still, Sai's not wrong, it does seem kind of dumb from human eyes. Look at it, you can still see it breathing." Blake pointed out.
"And its head crest is clearly still flashing. I doubt it would do something like that if it was truly dead." Glynda added.
"It's even twitching like an animal trying to oversell playing dead." Cinder threw in.
"Exactly. You'd have to be a complete idiot to fall for something like that." Weiss agreed.
Cotton was suddenly seen trying to carve a Gypceros he and Aylia hunted. "Surprise, motherfucker!" The Gypceros declared as it sprung back to life and knocked Cotton back with a scream.
And with that, the immature members of the cast burst out laughing. "What was that about no one falling for that, Weiss?" Neo asked.
"Yeah, because it looks to me like he just fell for it." Roman agreed.
All of the Atlesians, plus Glynda just looked on with a deadpan expression. "I- Uh... No comment..." The former heiress said.
Akasha continued to attack the Gypceros, even after its supposed death. "However, there ARE a select few Gypceros that have absolutely MASTERED this role, even to the point of allowing parts to be carved out of them by hunters without flinching or showing signs of movement, only to come back later. This causes great amounts of confusion and anger to the people who called for the beast to be hunted and were told it was dealt with, only for them to come back and continue to cause problems. This causes many complaints to be filed and a massive backlog of paperwork for the poor Guildmarms, who usually only have to tell the hunters what to kill. This also hurts a hunters reputation and standing with both guildmarms and the public, leading back to EVERYONE hating Gypceros with an absolutely burning passion. This has happened enough times to my daughter Akasha that she goes the extra mile and decapitates any Gypceros she hunts so that problem never arises again." Sai warned as his daughter still continued to attack the now more-than-likely dead monster.
A group of characters were then seen standing around in awkward silence, until... "Holy shit!" A red dog-like creature exclaimed, raising its head in disbelief at whatever transpired.
This news shocked the group however. "I don't know whether or not to be impressed or disturbed by the fact they'll allow themselves to be carved." Ren stated.
"I'd certainly call it disturbing. Especially with how many complications this seems to cause... And how much paperwork it requires." Ozpin said with a shudder.
Then, they heard of Akasha decapitating the monsters when she hunts them. "Yikes. That girl has some anger issues." Yang said.
"Well, she's half demon and half vampire. Neither of those creatures are known for having a good attitude." Jaune pointed out.
"Although, all things considered, decapitation would be the most logical option to make sure that the Gypceros is dead. It's by no means pleasant, but it's likely the best option to ensure you won't have this recurring problem." Glynda noted.
Yet again, the hybrid Huntress continued to attack the monster. "So, with all that in mind, it may sound INCREDIBLY aggravating to try and bring down a Gypceros... And it is. But, they are not invincible. They are weak to the Fire element and their Rubbery Hide is only RESISTANT to damage, not immune and while they are quite speedy and dexterous, they are still bulky and awkward, making them pretty easy to flank. And, as I said, their poison is weak and easy to cure with an antidote, plus their flash is easy enough to avoid by shielding your eyes, quickly looking away, or just wearing some shades. Also, their Rubbery Hide is highly sought after by Nerscylla, who famously hunts, kills and skins the Strange Poison Bird." The Sapphire Star informed as Akasha observed a flayed Gypceros strung up in a volcanic cave by a Nerscylla webbing. "Praise be to our spider goddess." Sai quickly added as a heavenly light shined down on a Nerscylla being ridden by Nasai with heavenly music playing.
Pyrrha couldn't help but feel a little good that Nerscylla was brought up. "Well, it's nice to know that Arachne and her species help keep their numbers in check." She said, nuzzling with her spider.
However, that good feeling quickly went away along with everyone else's when they saw the flayed Bird Wyverns. "But... do they REALLY have to skin them and wear it like that? It's pretty messed up." Velvet groaned.
"I mean, they're basically doing the same thing we do, we kill a monster then take its parts to make better armor and weapons. It's just taking advantage of a resource to overcome your weaknesses. It's a good tactical decision." Razara told her.
"Well, Professor Ozpin? James? I think you must admit it's a good thing Nerscylla are around in this case." Glynda said with a smirk.
Both men groaned at this. "I suppose... Nerscylla is a vital asset when it comes to managing Gypceros." Ironwood groaned.
"I-indeed. It's a good thing they are around to keep their numbers in line." Ozpin agreed through clenched teeth.
Akasha was back to sneakily observing the monster from a distance. "Interestingly, however, researchers have discovered that Gypceros' have some of the greatest stamina of all monsters thanks to a specialized performance enhancing chemical they produce known as Dash Extract. While they aren't the only monster to produce it, they are the most well-known and most abundant source of it. Guild Alchemists where able to combine this Dash Extract with other items to dilute it and make it safe for humans to drink as a consumable known as Dash Juice. If you've ever had espresso, imagine having ten cups of it and that's Dash Juice, providing a supreme boost to your energy and stamina reserves, which I, as a Dual Blades main who constantly has to quickly move around and attack a mile a minute, greatly appreciate. And, uh... let's just say my children might not be here without that stuff to keep the engines running when it counted." The host chuckled as Akasha now ran from the beast.
"Wow. That sounds quite intriguing. While perhaps not healthy to consume regularly, a drink that supplies such a potent burst of short-term energy would be invaluable in the field." Penny said in awe.
Yang smirked at this. "Hey, sis. I bet if you drank that stuff, you'd be able to break the sound barrier. With how hyper you are, that would probably be like the star guy power-up in Morio for you!" Yang said, earning laughs out of many of their friends, Summer even trying to hold back her laughter.
"Mooom!" Ruby complained at her mother's betrayal, before thinking to herself. (But, Yang might have a point here. I'm pretty fast now, so I bet if I drank that stuff, I'd be able to keep up with a Valstrax!) She though excitedly.
But Ren was horrified at the idea of this Dash juice. "Oh, my gods... It's already a disaster if Nora gets her hands on normal coffee. There's no telling WHAT would happen if she got her hands on that!" He said, struggling to stave off a panic attack.
But the immature cast members got another good laugh at Sai's innuendo. "Sounds like he made a dash to the bedroom after drinking that stuff." Coco laughed.
"Ooh, another goodie to add to the list! Having trouble in the sack? Torchwick's Dash Juice can keep you going longer than Aura ever could!" Roman suggested.
"We'd make millions!" Neo said eagerly.
Akasha was fighting the beast yet again. "So, that is Gypceros, but we aren't done quite yet, as there is a subspecies, the Purple Gypceros." The host introduced a purple variant of the monster facing off against Nasai, his Nerscylla, Arachne, Avinia and her Barioth, Frostfang. "So, what's the difference between these two? Uh... It's- it's purple! There you go! And it's tail is green." Sai stammered a bit, apparently unsure of the actual difference.
A man with glasses and VERY bad teeth was shown. "That's about it." He told the woman in front of him as chaos seemed to be happening around them.
"Well, that's kind of disappointing." Summer said in disappointment.
"He's probably just playing it off as a joke." Qrow said dismissively.
"But still, whatever the change apart from coloring is, it's definitely not as immediately noticeable as it is for something like Glacial Agnaktor or Coral Pukei-Pukei." Winter noted.
The team then went on the attack against this new subspecies. "Alright, in all seriousness, it's the usual subspecies affair: bigger, stronger and more durable, but the potent of the Purple Gypceros is much more potent, even small doses being lethal to humans compared to the massive amounts required to do damage from the normal Gypceros. But, don't think it's increased quality means a lack of quantity, because it can still shoot out just as much poison as the standard version, leaving small ponds of poison that salt the very Earth, leaving nothing to grow again." The host warned as the beast went on the offensive against the team.
Many were horrified at this. "Is its poison really that much stronger?! That's a massive problem!" Blake said in horror.
"Indeed. Killing an immediate source of crops is one thing, but making the land permanently dead would cause massive issues down the line!" Glynda said worriedly.
"Eh. I think he's using hyperbole about the ground becoming infertile, but yeah, it's poison is way deadlier." Tekko told them.
"Still, that's a serious concern, especially since it can still spit out poison as often as the normal variant." Cinder said.
"Yeah, that's no fair! You either get strong poison you can't use too much or weak poison you can use a bunch! Getting both is cheating!" Nora complained.
The team finally managed to bring down the Purple Gypceros. "But that truly is the end of the Gypceros line, a creature almost as fascinating as it is infuriating and an important lesson to learn that even the most unassuming of creatures can be devastating to the world around it, so you should never underestimate any monster in this crazy world we live in. Because the moment you let your guard down is the moment you find yourself drowning in poison." Sai finished as Akasha was shown one last time definitively finishing off her own Gypceros quarry.
"Yeah... If it hadn't sunk in before, it's DEFINITELY sunken in now: stop underestimating monsters just because they look weak or goofy." Coco said in shock.
"He didn't even include a part about 'oh, this is why this monster still has a place in our world' like he does with all the others!" Emerald added nervously.
"Well, like he said, pretty much whenever we catch wind of one, we go to hunt it down immediately, so... yeah, we may not want to make them EXTINCT, but we definitely want their numbers lower than other monsters." Katana said.
"Drowning in a sea of poison. That's certainly an unnerving note to end on." Weiss said fearfully.
"Then he's done his job to make sure people take this monster seriously. Rage could certainly learn a thing or two." Winter noted.
"Well, what did you guys think?" Tekko asked.
"I'll admit, it's quite the plucky little creature. It had a lot more tricks than I was expecting." Adam admitted.
"Indeed. It's size and weight alone might have made it an interesting opponent, but with poison that can coat entire areas and blinding flashes of light, it would be an interesting fight." Hazel agreed.
"Heck yeah! I wonder just how well its rubbery hide would stand up to my fists!" Yang declared, slamming her fists together.
"Yeah! No way my hammer would bounce off! I'd break its legs AND it's goofy little nose cone!" Nora cheered.
"Well, unfortunately, you guys won't be finding out, because Gypceros isn't coming to Remnant. Its poison is just too much of a problem for the environment, farming lands and crops, so it would cause too many problems." Katana told them.
"I can't agree more. Plus, attacking caravans for shiny objects would create huge problems for our commerce, which would effect the economy." Winter agreed.
"Exactly. Not to mention it could deprive us of vital resources, such as Dust for our munitions. It might even try stealing our weapons or robots, since those are all metal." Ironwood added.
"Then we're all in agreement Gypceros must not be brought to Remnant. Our Huntsmen and Huntresses would be unprepared for their playing dead shenanigans and the problem Gypceros cause would only continue. Excellent." Ozpin said with a nod.
"You're mostly saying that because you don't want to deal with all the paperwork Gypceros would cause, aren't you?" Razara asked with a smirk.
"I will neither confirm, nor deny." The headmaster insisted.
"So, what's up next?" Neo asked.
"Well, it's not exactly a deep lore like most of these other ones, but there IS a video where Rage speaks about a few more monsters from the Frontier. And, now that I think about it, this one MIGHT have been a better choice for Summer than Amaryllis, but I'm not changing it now. So, all of you prepare yourself, for the wonderful and inexplicable sight that is... Estrellian." Katana declared, playing the next video.
[1] I'm not the only one who's heard of a guy's junk being referred to as a pickle, right? That is a thing?